#it does sting though. I think sif trusted them more in this moment too

[susie-dreemurr]

Dialogues that permanently changed the structure of my brain from the very moment I saw them be like

[fortune-fool02]

Uncertainty

Loki Laufeyson x TVA female reader

Summary: Loki had said something to Mobius, and he also told [Name]. That something had been floating around in her mind, and she wasn’t sure what to think of it. 

Warning: Spoilers for Episode 3 and 4, light angst

I won’t lie, I was part way through episode four when this idea hit me. Please heed the warning above as it does contain a lot of spoilers! 

Please enjoy. 

If there was one single thing that [Name] had learnt in this little case, it was this: 

You can not trust a Loki. 

The more she looked back on it now, the more of a fool she felt herself to be. The man was a snake with more venom and hollow words, and half-truths that could sharpen even his silver-tongue. And she was foolish enough to listen, to almost believe him. Foolish enough to trust him. And that trust had caused a ripple effect in the Sacred Timeline, nexus events branching off, growing into their own little worlds of ‘what-ifs’ and ‘maybe-ifs’ and the guilt of watching those branches grow weighed down on her shoulders for having him escape with the variant. 

It had taken a while for the two Lokis to be brought into the custody of the TVA, as they should have been from the very beginning, and it costed them a good worker. C-20. Driven mad by the enchanting bewitchment forced upon her by the female variant before resulting in her death. Something that could, no, should have been prevented. 

The pen left [Name]’s hand with a little more force than necessary, almost slamming it down rather than setting it. Heavy irritation coursing through her veins like blood, seeping into every single muscle of her body and running along every bone in her body; followed by a gnawing sensation, blunt teeth gnashing at her muscle and skin but not breaking it. The time they had spent together, the moments they would share in the library, at her desk, it felt....genuine to her. Perhaps it was nothing but an illusion he casted, toying with her with his words, pulling her strings like a puppet. And he did not even need powers to be able to do so. 

Sighing, she dumped the report down and rested her head on folded arms upon the table, attempting to gain a sense of control of these emotions. A warm hand fell upon her shoulder, gentle and concern. 

“You alright, kid?” Mobius spoke, his voice equally soft. He always referred to her as kid, his little nickname for her, then again the man was her mentor in a way. He always watched over her. Sitting up, she sighed and nodded. 

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” The [Hair colour] woman spoke, straightening herself and dusting herself down before finishing the report, trying to regain her focus. Though Mobius saw right through this like he was looking through clear glass on a bright day. All he did was give her a look and she crumbled. “I....I thought....I thought that Loki was different.” She admitted, in her time here, she had never once lied to Mobius. She had no reason to. 

He took a seat beside her and nodded as she spoke, a look of sympathy and understanding on his face. “Yeah. I know. I thought that too.”  He said, “I guess we were both....fooled.” [Name] leaned back on her seat, letting her head lean back until she could see the glaring light above her, and even then she tried her best not to shy away from its light. 

“Can I tell you something?” He asked, turning the light off above her to prevent her from damaging her [Eye colour] eyes. Said eyes thankful that the burning sting was now fading as the blotches of blurring colours faded from her vision. “Something that....Loki told me?” She sat upright and looked at him, waiting. 

“He told me that the TVA are lying to us all. Do you have any idea what that means?” He questioned her and she shook her head. Was this just another half-truth? A delusional lie twisted to make him look the victim somehow? Mobius left some time after that but it still lingered around in her mind, like the annoying buzz of a fly in a silent room. An irritating buzzing that continued to persist her until she rose from her chair and went off, slipping through the corridors and avoiding guards to reach the containment cell Loki was sealed in. A time-loop. 

Her presence, in a way, paused the time-loop, allowing them to talk without disruption. Loki was hunched over on the ground, clasping his lower region from the repeated kicks he has received.

“Oh, I know I’m pathetic, and I deserve to be alo-” he was cut off as his eyes landed on [Name] instead of Sif for the seventh or eighth time. “[Name]?” She ignored his tone and approached. 

“You told Mobius something. T-That the TVA are lying to us, what the Hell did you mean by that?” There was this underlying tone in her voice that Loki had not heard before. Demanding. Ordering. Her tone, her voice, was always so softly spoken, so gentle and warm. 

“The TVA, they are lying to you, [Name]. They-” His words were cut off by her, 

“Wait, how the Hell can I even trust a damn word out your mouth?” The sharpness of her words sparked, metal scraping against metal. “From the very moment you got here, you did nothing but lie to me. You said that everyone around you were nothing but pawns, how am I any different?” Now she was here, she realised how stupid this was. Why did she think this would even work? 

“No, wait, [Name]! I’m not lying, I never once lied to you.” He called out, pushing himself to his feet as he approached. She needed to know. “Just, just hear me out, please. The TVA, the Time-Keepers, all of it is wrong. You, all of you here, you’re all variants.” 

The expression that drained her face stole all colour from it also, the way her eyes widened lightly, the look in them, he never wanted to see such a distraught expression on her face again. “The Time-Keepers took you all, and they erased your memories. You came from Midgard, from Earth. Silvia can access those memories through her enchantment.”

[Name] only stared at him, he moved closer, slowly bringing his hands to cup her face. “[Name], please. You have to believe me on this. Please.” He wanted nothing more than for her to believe him, to trust his words. During his time on the run, she was on his mind throughout it all. One of the two TVA members who trusted him, cared for him. And now he was at risk of losing her. He didn’t want that. He did not want to lose another thing. He already lost his timeline, his family, everything. 

“I was stolen? But I’ve been here since I was created. I don’t have a-” 

“That’s the thing. They kidnapped you, they wiped all your memories, you were not created here, you are human. You have a life on Earth, not here.” He could see the confusion swirling in her eyes, a figure wandering aimlessly through thick fog, attempting to find her way through the mist but to no avail. Trying to discover previous paintings on a canvas wiped clean. She looked so lost. So scared and confused. 

He pulled her closer, holding her, and now feeling the light tremble in her form. She simply leant forward, resting her head on his shoulder, her mind still processing all of this. After all this time, after everything she had been told and done, she was a variant. Just like the ones they had captured and reset. The ones they pruned. Killed. 

She was one of them. 

Her arms moved, holding onto him for fear that she will be swallowed by the ground, feeling weak as if all energy had been stripped from her body. He kept his hold on her, secure and safe, protective almost. 

“How can I trust you?” She asked, the tremble in her body also carried in her words. 

“You are going to have to.”