#it didn’t sound like anyway was trying to make it sound. cohesive

[superflyse]

What is the worst miscast for movie based on a musical?

And why it was Les Miserables?

[gothsuguru]

getting an iced pumpkin chai in the morning and then my personal goal is to spend the whole day writing and i hope i can come back to this post tomorrow and rb w how much progress i’ve made!!!

[natliyy]

drdt 16 spoilers

I need to spitball my thoughts on charwhit. this reads like I know where I’m going but there’s probably going to be very little connections and cohesion and I am NOT good at analysis pls forgive me. my first actual post of course it’s about it drdt LMAOO

A lot of people have noticed how focused whit was on charles in the latest episode, me included. And now I’m thinking.

and I want YOU to think about it too. whit’s go-to for grieving is to not acknowledge it. everything that happened in ep 16, ace about to die, broken monotv, teruko almost dying, levi getting shot and on the brink of death, so many gorey things. it’s all too much to process, so many unexpected things rapidly happening one after another, and you pile that on top of whits grieving method. he needs to laser-focus in on charles, because there’s a lot of blood, and judging by how min’s execution was, there should probably be more soon. it gives him something to do.

and now this is the part where I Get Confused. And a little Concerned. And things start Falling Apart. triple whammy.

teruko has a machine gun aimed at her. she’s saying what might possibly be her last words, and everyone’s telling her GET OUT OF THE WAY??? HIDE?? (even ARTURO. sounded thoroughly panicked. this isn’t about him but I have thoughts on him too) and you know the weird part? whit likes teruko. he wants to see her smile. he apologizes, and jokes, and knows she doesn’t have to close off her heart the way charles did. but did he say anything to teruko during her execution?

NO?? ABSOLUTELY DID NOT? he says “Charles, stop talking and cover your eyes!” which. Sure. Okay. charles has a pretty strong attachment to teruko. he genuinely likes her. that machine gun would’ve reduced her to bloody mass. he’s gonna be borderline hysterical. like I get it? but dude teruko is about to DIE. you want her to be your friend. I hold some acknowledgement towards mm whit theory but I really think it’s too early for me to believe in that, yet at the same time, if he didn’t call out, didn’t say a word to her, did he like… know she wouldn’t have died? already known how her luck works? I don’t know…

and now we cut to levi getting shot. And this is the part where things start getting more insane with me for no damn reason. there’s blood everywhere, and charles is starting to break down. and you know what whit says?

Hey, dude? What the HELL???

The smell of blood is really strong. Even though I told him not to look, he still…

the choice of words is really messing me up. “Even though I told him.” whit telling charles to cover his eyes was lowk the most forceful we’ve heard him so far. I really can’t decipher this, but I will rewind a little to convey why this line made my skin crawl so much.

in trial 1, whit was pretty damn convincing to the audience. “He’s my friend, of course I’ll argue for his sake!” and telling people to lay off of charles… it was really sweet. very considerate and compassionate.

except in chapter 2, he doubles down. in ep 2, he says something along the lines of, “Oh, I did say he was my friend, didn’t I? Well, that was a total lie! I only said it to make people believe me! But I think he took it to heart, or thinks he owes me…? So, yeah, I’ve decided we’re friends.”

…………. okay my thoughts r falling apart it’s 4 am let me try to think of connecting this somehow

whit seems to know charles is dependant on him. whit also has a history of avoidance and ignoring things that bother him. and let me make it clear, I don’t think these two r some ultra toxic relationship at all. I’m trying to pinpoint their flaws and predict where their relationship will go.

it’s kind of funny? imagine the ultimate matchmaker with commitment issues. though it’s not too far, considering how isolated his childhood probably was.

anyways, I feel like this is all setting up for a shift in dynamic in chapter 3. which is where I get to the part I really want to say: if charwhit’s relationship deteriorates due to Charles’ dependance and Whit staying subtlety dismissive and avoidant, I will be amazed. What seems to be the most sturdy relationship in the series crumbling due to the killing game wearing down on their compatibility is a writing choice that would send me to cloud nine, I think. we know DRDTdev has been subverting troupes since chapter 1. the “tragedy” of this relationship being them growing more unhealthy due to their problems, rather than one of them dying would be so. How can I even articulate it?

although, if whit’s prediction of “Charles Cuevas, dead at 3” comes true, I will simply reach into the screen and strangle him. anyways, that’s all I got. enjoy my braindump maybe

[sp1resong]

"of two minds", an experimental... short story... comic... thing.

(transcript under the cut!)

y’know, it’s funny.

what is?

the very idea of contradiction itself necessitates cohesion, or coexistence, or… whatever antonym you want to use.

what do you mean?

well—if two contradicting ideas couldn’t coexist in some way, we wouldn’t have a concept of contradiction in the first place. the very idea of it is, in itself, a contradiction!

…that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.

we’re not talking about things that make sense, are we? contradictions aren’t supposed to do that. that’s, like, the whole point.

well, yeah, but what you’re saying should still have meaning. you can’t just—say nonsense that sounds smart but isn’t.

i agree! good thing that’s not what i’m doing. it’s not nonsense.

you yourself said it doesn’t make sense.

but that’s not the same thing, now, is it? nonsense can make sense, so why not the other way around?

i never said i believed that second thing, either.

you do, though. i know that full well.

…i do. but even so—that doesn’t matter. it feels like you came up with a point and are now desperately trying to grant it merit despite its obvious flaws.

what do you mean?

well—first and foremost, contradiction doesn’t claim that the sides can’t coexist. quite the opposite, actually. its very nature is coexistence where there shouldn’t be any.

blah, semantics. but really—if they can coexist, even a little bit, then clearly, they’re not as diametrically opposed as they seem. where is the line drawn?

that’s… not the same thing you were arguing a moment ago.

so what?

you can’t just—change the subject. that’s not how this works.

i still stand by what i said, i was just using the wrong word, or something like that. you pointed it out, so i started talking about your word. same difference.

you’re impossible.

why, thank you.

regardless—i don’t see what that has to do with any of this.

what doesn’t it have to do with this? contradiction is in our very nature. we invented a word to put a name to that divide, that fundamental fission. and yet—it’s only natural, isn’t it?

i’m not sure what you’re saying here.

but if you didn’t understand, neither would i.

that doesn’t mean i know what it means in any—

—and that, too, is contradiction!

no, it isn’t. i understand the words you’re saying. i know what the words mean.

what i don’t understand is—your point. what you’re trying to say.

and what a shame that is. we’ll never come to a conclusion at this rate.

yes we will. we always do.

…what are you arguing, anyways?

hm?

it seems like you’re just here to disagree with me. you’re refuting my points, but you never make any of your own. do you even have an opinion?

of course i do.

do you? or is it just the opposite of what i’m saying, regardless of what that is?

…does it matter? we both believe what we’re saying.

and back to contradiction.

hm?

we’re one and the same, and we both believe what we’re saying. and yet we disagree.

this wouldn’t be interesting at all if we agreed.

that’s beside the point.

it is.

what… is this, anyways? what’s the point?

a socratic dialogue for the new era.

…it can’t be. you’ve never read socrates. besides—you said it yourself. we both believe what we are saying.

we’re both right.

you get it, you get it! i knew you would! we are the contradiction!

…you’re not being helpful. you refuse to explain your ideas, you just… say words.

i don’t need to explain. you understand already.

then what’s the fucking point!?

to settle this. to make up our mind.

but we are of two minds.

precisely! contradiction is coexistence is contradiction!

this is going to go on forever, isn’t it?

we’ve always moved on before.

but we come back, again and again! arguing a new point in the same way, and no one ever wins!

would you rather go through life never questioning anything?

of course not! i just—argh. you’re intolerable.

whatever do you mean?

you’re unbearable! i can’t stand this! nothing you say holds water, but you don’t fucking listen!

you know—you know i’m right. we’re the same person, after all. but you refuse to listen when i tell you—

tell me, then. i’ll listen.

what do you believe?

…i believe that you’re wrong. that we ought to do things my way.

but what is your way?

…

i knew it! you exist to be the opposition. you know i’m wrong, but you don’t know what’s right.

…

…what’s yours?

hm?

what’s your way? saying things that sound smart without—without caring if they’ve got any substance?

…

see? you don’t have anything to say, either. we’re both wrong. we’re both right. i hate this.

i just want to agree! i want things to make sense! i want to say things that mean something—i want to understand. understand the world, understand myself, understand what we’re fucking saying.

i’m sick of this.

you could do to care a bit less.

see, that’s the problem with you! you don’t—you don’t fucking care! you speak nonsense and then act like everyone else is at fault for not understanding it! because you don’t care! you don’t care and i fucking hate you!

you say, as if you have anything of meaning to say!

i have more than you! at least when i talk, it means something!

no it doesn’t! you’ll never come up with anything but derivative, trite bullshit if you’re so obsessed with making sense!

oh, so now i’m spouting bullshit, and not the bastard who has never in their life even tried to make sense!?

you’re so set on making sure other people can understand what you’re saying—every little bit of you is lost in translation! you have to follow in the footsteps of others for anyone to get what you’re talking about—none of what you say is yours!

that’s not—god. i hate this. i shouldn’t—you shouldn’t be here. we should just make up our fucking mind.

but you said it yourself—we are of two minds.

if we thought you were right, we would have moved on by now.

but we would have done the same if we thought i was wrong.

why are we still here? separate? stuck at the crossroads? rent apart by indecision?

what is wrong with us?

…it’s just the human condition, i think.

“human.”

…

semantics again, my dear sock-puppet.

…i’m not even going to respond to that. are you trying to insinuate that you’re the ‘real’ one here? that i’m the construct? that goes against everything you’ve said thus far.

first of all, have you even been listening to what i’ve said thus far?

…second of all, that’s not what i meant at all.

we’re just talking to the mirror, really—but we’re more than a reflection of the other, aren’t we? and neither of us is quite our whole. we’re uncertainty made manifest. a tangled mess of contradiction trying futilely to untie itself.

so: sock puppets.

interesting analogy.

…so who’s the left hand, and who’s the right hand?

oh, so now you’re capable of having a little bit of whimsy.

…i think you’re probably the left hand, because right brain-left brain or whatever. since you’re the one who keeps going off about logic.

…i want to be the right hand.

why?

we’re right-handed, and i’m the one we usually act on—

—that’s not even true. whatever. more realistically, we’re both both hands, anyways.

yeah, you would say that, wouldn’t you.

am i really that predictable?

yes.

for ‘uncertainty made manifest’, it sure is easy to figure you out.

even cacophony has a pattern to it! a method to our madness—because every method is madness.

that doesn’t make sense either.

doesn’t it?

no.

oh, you’re no fun.

nothing about this is supposed to be ‘fun’.

nothing is ‘supposed’ to be anything!

the only reason it isn’t fun is your nonstop bitching.

if i wasn’t here to be the voice of reason, you’d fucking… i dunno. do something stupid.

start giving people bullshit advice and spreading misinformation on the internet, or run off and get hit by a car, or… something.

my point is, i’m the one keeping us alive and reasonable.

yeah, and? what’s the point in that if we’re miserable all the time, because we’re too scared of saying anything meaningful to even try?

but it’s not meaningful! all you say is fucking nonsense!

and all you say is fucking trite!

how do you expect to create any original meaning if nothing you say has meaning to begin with!?

how do you expect to create anything you can care about if you refuse to say anything unique to yourself!?

i’m only being pragmatic!

i’m only trying to be happy for once in our fucking life!

you’re a liar—you know what you’re saying means nothing and you say it anyways!

it doesn’t have to make sense to be meaningful!

what’s the point in meaning if no one else can understand it!?

what’s the point in trying if everything you say has been watered down for others’ sake!?

i’d rather be unhappy and right!

and there’s your problem! you keep thinking about this in right and wrong—it’s not! all of this is subjective! all answers are equally correct!

but that’s not true! nothing is entirely subjective—there’s always an answer we settle on, there’s always a right one! there’s always a wrong one!

we always choose one answer because of you! because you’re too fucking scared to admit that maybe there isn’t a wrong one! maybe there doesn’t have to be! maybe—

—shut up, hyde!

…oh, so i’m hyde now? i’m the bad one? i’m in the wrong? and of course you would—

—stop. stop. i hate you. god, i hate you.

…

…i think right now i hate you too.

…

but this won’t end until we agree.

it won’t.

and that will never happen.

maybe not.

because we both know we’re right.

so we do.

so we’ll be here forever. arguing about nothing.

maybe we don’t have to.

argue, i mean.

…what do you mean by that?

maybe we can coexist. maybe we can hold both beliefs. tempering and strengthening the other.

but we are powers opposed.

maybe we don’t have to be.

it’s like schrodinger said.

the cat is both alive and dead until you open the box.

the path curves both left and right until you reach the crossroads.

every answer is both true and false until a conclusion is reached.

…

but even then, that implies a conclusion. a collapse into a solid state.

we are already at the crossroads of our belief.

precisely.

and we haven’t fallen into one yet.

but we must.

must we?

can’t the two states combine to one without losing what makes them themselves?

the cat must be dead or alive, for it is a material being. but we are thought. we are consciousness. we are not bound to one or the other.

such is the magic of our nature.

indeed.

so really, there is only one question:

can we coexist, or must we fight forever?

can we have chaos guided by logic?

can we have meaning carved by contradiction?

can we walk both paths, and the sacred middle ground?

can we shape ourselves through synthesis?

can we be one?

were we ever two? does it matter?

we are arguing the same point, after all.

[vitaegratis]

starter for Hopper @soulendured

The good news? The others had been able to take care of Vecna before his batty minions had been able to completely tear Eddie apart. The bad news? For all intents and purposes, his life was still over. At least, as his life as he had known it was over. His first instinct had been to skip town, maybe use the chaos of the quakes to fake his death. It was hardly ideal, but… what other options were there? He had always wanted to get out of Hawkins anyway.

Dustin maintained that running away wasn’t Eddie’s only choice, that to do so now after everything would be a ‘pussy move’. He liked to think that since the feds had moved Eddie’s uncle, they knew what was really going on - and would be able to clear his name/cover it up if he came forward. Lucas on the other hand suggested that the feds would instead make him a patsy, that they’d take Eddie out in the process - like they had apparently done to Benny Hammond simply for maybe knowing too much.

That was… also not ideal. It also strengthened his resolve to stay away from Wayne, if they were still watching him… he didn’t want to get him wrapped up in all of this. His mind was mostly made up - he’d skip town. Maybe head to Canada, just to be safe. He wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Wayne, to the guys, and any dream he had of being a rockstar - recognizable - would be dashed. It would beat rotting away in prison though, wouldn’t it?

Those plans didn’t even have a chance to take a cohesive form before Mike returned to town, recounting all that had happened to him - and sharing the fact that Chief Hopper was apparently still alive? That he was in a predicament now, because the government was now at odds with what to do about Hawkins? One of the doctors from the labs (the one who tortured the superpowered kids, if he had it right) was dead, and the other one - who was more of an ally, had treated Byers after his experience with the Upside Down… he was apparently MIA.

So now the Chief couldn’t simply return to his civilian life, say that he had faked his own death and was… serving his country, on some secret assignment or whatever bullshit cover story they’d cook up. He was on his own as well, his own life over.

The difference being no one would try to arrest or kill him if they saw him out and about in public - they’d just be extremely confused. Ask for explanations that he couldn’t provide. For the time being, until he figured that out, he would be staying in a cabin he had out in the woods. Once it was fixed up, at least. That was a whole ‘nother story apparently - one which Eddie (to Mike’s incredulity) had somehow zoned out during.

‘You should stay there with Hopper. No one would find you there, he had El hidden there for like a year. If someone finds you - wouldn’t you rather he be there to vouch for you? Callahan and Powell would listen to him, but if you were off somewhere on your own.’

It still sounded too much like house arrest, and was Hopper even cool with it or was Mike imposing on his behalf? He didn’t think the Chief would throw him to the wolves, but still. Eddie relented to at least talking to the man about it - but he wasn’t going to get his own hopes up. If he was discovered, if Hopper vouched for him, and if Powell bought the story… if Jim’s word alone was enough…

Wouldn’t his hands still be tied? Another reason why he thought this was a bad idea. Hopper had his own problems to worry about - harboring a wanted man - would only add to that. It didn’t matter that he was still ‘a suspect’ rather than a ‘fugitive’. Who cared whether or not he had been booked? Not the people of Hawkins. They already passed their judgement. The quakes had disrupted the manhunt, but people weren’t just going to forget about this.

[nicky2]

we system self discovered after starting hypnosis but it became very clear quickly that we had been one all along. we definitely had more than sufficient trauma during that developmental period to be a classic traumagenic system lol. but it is kind of sad, isn’t it? realizing the system had been one way, had had these parts, and then we listen to hypnosis and now we have twice as many parts and only one is original, and it’s not me and it’s not the host lol. i know that parts don’t “die”, they just return to the primordial goo and the memories are reorganized to whoever can handle them. but i have this image in my mind of these kids we had in our head who never had a chance to become adults, who i never had the opportunity to meet, because we accidentally found BS. i wonder what they knew through the patterns of memory that they had. trying to investigate a dead part like i might investigate a living part feels like going into a bedroom and it has the belongings of someone, and pictures of them, and some of their diaries, but they’re dead and they have been gone for the last 7 years. honestly it reminds me of other people i’ve lost. i’m very much of the mindset that my parts are not people, we comprise one whole person. but what are people but collections of information— experiences, memories, lessons learned, impulses, behaviors, relationships, opinions— that one day lose their containing body and are never accessible again in the way they were accessible when they were contained by that body? i can’t ask my dead parts questions without feeling like i’m writing the answer in for them, playing make believe. it feels the same trying to imagine what [dead loved one] would say to me if i came to them with my questions. no matter how realistic the response i come up with… i’m not really talking to them, right?

i can’t wait to one day trust a therapist enough to tell them about my experiences with bambi sleep lol. i had therapy for awhile, but we never talked about me indepth. we talked about the relationships between host and me and the others. but never about me, or our past, or why i am the way i am, both in the way BS created me, and in the rationale of the part that thought trying BS might be a hail mary solution to the problems we were experiencing by the nature of how we failed to fit the mold set out for us. we were playing an ill-suited role. we were not that girl. BS was supposed to turn us all into the girl we were supposed to be for the people who had control of us at that time. but we reorganized (sounds nicer than shattered) instead, and we’ve left those people. we’re somewhere much safer.

i don’t credit any of the success of my alters and their support circles to BS, i just think we had just been cohesive enough to grin and bear the weight of our suffering beforehand. afterward, we were too broken to find the weight bearable and we had to run away in order to survive. maybe we could have left with more of a solid ground to stand on without BS. but i think maybe that old part wanted to break us. if we were broken down into a liquid and poured into the perfect mold but still came out wrong, then staying would be unnacceptable even if we didn’t come out of the process broken. it would have just been clear that nothing could ever REALLY make us into the girl we were supposed to be. and now being that girl is my burden, i guess, and i’m trapped as a sideshow in the life of somebody for whom my burden is a nightmarish past life, a distant but haunting memory. the darkness is over, but i still want to find out if we can become that girl. it is maladaptive now. our situation is different. but if i don’t really really really try to destroy us, how can we really know that we’re strong enough to survive?

i know better than that, in theory, but i still try by instinct almost. i wake up and i start trying before i’m awake enough to recognize i’m awake. trying to break us down into what Those People wanted us to be.

anyway. people talk more nowadays about the risks of bambi sleep, which is good. but i don’t know if having all the content warnings we have today would have helped the girl who was here when we started. she didn’t believe in hypnosis, but if it were real it was supposed to replace us completely with someone who has no free will, so that would be seen as acceptable. the thing that she couldn’t have been warned for is that we have a dissociative disorder she didn’t know about. she couldn’t have known about what would happen to the perfect girl she made to replace her, which is that i’m bambi but i’m bambi in a mind where i have none of the controls that bambi is supposed to have. the other alters are not “old selves” that i can silence. theyre parallel selves that exist outside of me. theyre not in my control. i can imagine silencing the others, i can even successfully silence them temporarily with bambisleep, but it takes more than hypnosis to do that permanently. and i don’t have like the money necessary to make the fucking saw esque contraptions i’d want to trap myself in this with. nor do i have the personal agency to find and actually pursue living with an owner that could do all that for me. maybe i could have if she were aware of the state i’d be in now, back before i existed. maybe if she knew what i would become, and what (truly much more safe for our physical and mental wellbeing) situation i’d end up in, she could have planned a better, more thorough self-destruction. but she didn’t really know she was self destructing, even if she would have been fine with that. she didn’t really have a plan. she just wanted to escape her suffering, not by leaving or being strong, but by staying and being radically different. so much so that would we no longer have to suffer with the free will that we naturally had. but it wasn’t enough destructive power soon enough to prevent the boys from saving our collective life from misery in unwanted servitude. so. she didn’t achieve that. but now, 7 years later, we’re destabilized and driftless. the free will that saved us isn’t nowhere to be found, but it’s pointed in so many different directions as to be ineffectual. someone come get me. someone come pick me up. we only function well in society because we’re safe with someone who’s protecting us. if someone like the people we left knew the degree and nature of our newer vulnerabilities, it’d be bye-bye to freedom. in essence, i’d finally win.

and then one of the boys would end our life and i could stop experiencing all of this

[thigiocamap]

just rewatched the arceus movie with my partner (subbed, of course. never dubbed 😌) and I liked aspects of the movie. but there was some goofy shit in it that i kinda wish they found a way to work around. like for example the heart connection thing was just kinda overly convenient and i had to suspend my disbelief a bit too much for that. and the time travel stuff could get kinda messy at parts.

overall though? i did like how arceus itself was handled. though nat said that it would have been cooler if it either didn’t speak or spoke in a more mysterious and stilted way (for example, only saying a simple “fake.” when it breaks the jewel of life or otherwise just speaking in an extremely to-the-point way) and yeah i agreed with the second thing. i feel like the movie would need extreme rewriting if they were to go with the “it doesn’t talk” idea but the second thought sounds a lot cooler imo… i feel like if i were to write an arceus for some sort of fanfic-type stuff, i would like to try that out. it’s a god that created everything, but the point is the fact that it’s a Creature, after all. also i liked its jp voice i liked the Old vibe

in general though i liked the vibes of the movie, where they very much recognized that arceus is a god pokemon and so they made the whole thing had a sort of “legendary” feel, like with the stained glass art style for the legend scenes and the fact that the movie took place mostly during a solar eclipse. i also liked how arceus’s plates were made to be actually highly relevant to the plot (unlike how they were in the games).

i thought it was kind of a missed opportunity for gishin to not be a king or some other ruler of the land though considering his role and also his insane design. him being damos’s subordinate just felt kind of random ??? it would have made complete sense for him to just be some king concerned for his country’s future, to the point where he was willing to kill a god. idk. or just write him out and make it so that damos really did betray arceus all on his own for the same reason or something. gishin had a lot of control over a lot of people and pokemon for someone who was just some guy. he literally threw damos and the kids in jail like ??? how is he not a king or something ???

anyways the movie was alright. we also watched the giratina one right beforehand and the arceus movie is definitely better imo. there was a more cohesive story and it was more exciting. idfk what to even say about the giratina movie bc it was just kinda mid

[romanarose]

"Take Your Time" Chapter 1 sneak peak.

Frankie Morales X Fem!Oc

HEAD WARNINGS like all my fics it gets dark.

Intro: Hello everyone! As promised to my Leather and Lace readers, here is the start to Frankie's story. This takes place in the same universe as Leather and Lace, but IT IS NOT NECCECARY TO READ BEFORE THIS ONE! Any OC's will be properly introduced, and you will know anything you need to know within THIS STORY. I would say it's better if you read LaL, but all 4 stories that will be within my "TF Romanaverse" will be able to be read on their own or together. So if only one or two stories interest you, or maybe one stories content is too triggering, you can just read what you want! However, all together, they will form a cohesive storyline. Consider it like Bridgerton or AHS.

Summary: Jana, Frankie's ex and baby momma, gets a call from Frankie late at night.

WARNINGS: Drinking, mentions of cocaine, addiction recovery, worries about relapse, blood, self-harm.

**************

Answering the phone at midnight, Jana already swung both legs over the bed and began pulling socks on. “Frankie? What’s going on?”

“M’sorry. Woke you.” Frankie’s slurred voice replied.

“No, you didn’t, the shelter had me on overnights last week, remember?” Frankie had Rosie, their daughter, most of the week, albeit they stayed with Santi and Laci. While Frankie’s recovery was going well, Jana was still nervous with overnights and several days in a row, worried it might overwhelm him. Laci watched Rosie when Frankie worked, and if both were busy, Santi had taken her, impressing Laci very much with his skills with the toddler.

“Sorry” Frankie repeated. “Everyone else is gone. Didn’t know who else to call.”

 “You can always call me, Francisco. What did you take?”

“Jus’ whiskey right now, but that’s why m’callin’ you” 

Phone to her ear, she carefully bundled up a sleeping Rosa in a few blankets, the mild Florida winter making for less of a need for a full coat, especially when she’d have to take it off to buckle her into the car seat anyway. “Whiskey we can work with, honey.” Quickly, Jana back tracked as she headed out the door. “We can work if you relapse too, okay? Never be afraid to call me or the guys, we’re always here for you.”

 Jana had gone back and forth with her feelings on Santi for a number of years, mostly when she was still dating Frankie. Frankies would follow that man to the end of the earth, and pretty much had. That trip to Columbia had been the nail in the coffin for a relationship already strained from addiction, and Jana held it against Santiago for a long time. In more recent times, however, she’s come to see him as an ally for Frankie, Santi and his girl, Laci, as well as Will and Benny had all pulled together this last year as Francisco tried to sober up for perhaps the first real time. Although Jana was not with Frankie anymore, she would always love him. They hadn’t broken up for lack of love, or even for lack of trying, but for the things coke can do to a person, especially a person who recently came into a shit ton of money and nothing to do when his daughter is gone but get high.

“I’m waking Rosa” He sounded sleepy.

“No,” Jana couldn’t help but laugh, looking at her curly-haired daughter, out cold in the car seat. “That girl started sleeping through the night at one month old, she’s a miracle child”

“Yeah. Yeah she is. She deserves someone better.”

She got in the car, hooking up the phone to the speaker. “You’re a good dad, Frankie, a great dad. I’ve never seen a man play dolls with a kid for 2 hours straight, she adores you. You just need a little help”

“Yeah” It was quiet.

“Frank, hey, don’t fucking go to sleep, we’ll be right there.”

“Don’t wan’ her t’see me like this”

“She won’t, I promise. What room are you in?”

“Bathroom”

“Okay, I’ll lay her down in her crib before I even come to the bathroom alright?

“Promise?”

“As long as you stay awake, yes.”

“Fine”

“Fine”

Wanting to make sure she paid attention to the road, her nighttime eyesight not the best, Jana didn’t talk much, only when she thought he was falling asleep. She parked on the wrong side of the road, quickly grabbing Rose (how did this child sleep so much?), calling to Frankie she was here, and laid her down in the crib as promised. Her room at her uncle Santi’s had a toddler bed, as she was quickly growing, taking after her dad, but this would do fine in a pinch. With her heart about to burst out of her chest, she ran into the bathroom, expecting to find him puking or passed out on the floor. Instead, to her horror, she found him in his underwear, slumped up against the tub and the wall, blood on his arms and legs.

“Frank!”

****************

I'm going to try and finish Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside this week, then get more of Take Your Time done, hopefully out this weekend, unless I can pick up some shifts. In the mean time, maybe check out Leather and Lace if it interests you. Not to brag, but although my readership is small, the readers are v passionate and I'm v proud of my work!

If not, here is a playlist I've started working on for this series! check it out to start to get the vibes, and if you have any songs that give you frankie morales energy, or for readers of LaL, give you Jana Fernandez energy, let me know!

Comment if you'd like to join the taglist!

[scorpiongrassfield]

Pat is Standing Behind You 

Start | Prev 

Pat puts their left arm around your shoulder and their right around Theo’s and sort of pushes themself between the two of you. It’s not quite a hug, but it’s an approximation. 

“I think I’ll give you,” Pat says, tilting their head in Theo’s direction, “A break. I mean, you were actually trying to respect my wishes up to the last time we had spoken. Things just got way out of hand.” They say it like they alone can pardon Theo for whatever wrongdoing he might commit. 

It’s a little hard to see Theo with Pat between you like this, and he doesn’t answer out loud, leaving you in the dark. 

Pat looks… different. 

Their hair is shorter, cut in a different style. The color has changed, too, a darker pink now. 

And they look a little older, a little more tired. The grooves of their face seem just a bit deeper.

Pat stops hanging off of the two of you and ruffles Theo’s hair. You take a step back and face the two of them. 

“I’ll give you an A for effort, really. That was a better and more cohesive plan that I’d be able to form and stick to while on fire,” Pat says, and when Theo looks away, like he’s ashamed, they shake their head.  “No, seriously, I’m not mad at you. It was better thinking than anyone else was doing at the time. You got a little lost  part way through. That’s okay. You were up against Ametrine. I always though the two of you would mix like kerosene and more already on fire kerosene, you know?” 

Theo shakes his head. 

“Hm… Well we’re not going to be able to unpack this all right now, we’ve still got things to do. But keep in mind that even though I’m mad, I’m not mad at you. That’s all,” Pat says with a decisive nod. 

Then they turn around to look at you. 

“So, kid. What’s your name?” 

That catches you off guard. 

You look around. There’s no one else there, obviously. “Me?” you ask anyway. 

Pat chuckles. “No, the other kid here whose name I don’t know,” they say, with a little bite of sarcasm. It doesn’t sound mean or angry, just amused. “Sylv,” you say. That’s the one you picked and you’re sticking with it. 

Pat raises their eyebrows, a mimicry of disbelief. “Sylv?” they confirm. “Not Myosotis the memory parasite ghost?” 

One of those words makes you flinch, and for once it’s not the word ghost. 

You look to Theo for help. He shakes his head. 

You shake your head. 

Pat nudges Theo with their elbow. “Hey, I’m not grilling you, I’m grilling him,” they complain. 

“We’re friends now. Organically, even. His powers don’t work on me,” Theo says with a shrug. 

“Oh, so you’re capable of playing nice,” Pat says, like you’re the one that explained and not Theo. 

“I… I don’t want to hurt anyone,” you say. It’s only a little bit of a lie. 

You can’t claim you didn’t just want to hurt Ametrine. The evidence of that is still lying on the ground behind you. 

“No?” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you emphasize. That’s very true. You like Pat. 

“So let me get this straight,” Pat says, putting a hand to one hip. “You mind whammied me into thinking we’ve been friends and roomates for more than half a decade, inserting yourself into my life so close that I would never think to question your actions, ultimately causing a situation in which my former best friend has to try and kill me and my current best friend has to do the closest thing that an angel can d-”

“I’m not an angel,” Theo interrupts. 

Pat makes a funny face, lips pursed, eyes wide as they twist their head to look at him like “are you seriously arguing about this now?” before shaking their head and waving him off. 

“Right, causing my best friend to do the closest thing a guardian can do to dying and going to hell, not to mention all of the other shit that we both know ‘Myosotis’ has done to other people that’s worse, and you want me to believe you don’t want to hurt anyone. Just because you say so,” Pat says, giving you a flat look. 

You look to Theo again, and he nods. Pat rolls their eyes and steps in between the two of you, blocking Theo’s face from view. “Nope, this one’s between me and you, kid. Teddy’s on time out now.” 

“Ah,” Theo seems surprised, but ultimately says nothing more than that surprised vocalization. 

“Well?” Pat says, drawing your attention back to them. “Should I believe you or not? I want an answer.” 

Next

[gay-trains]

Some thoughts on the symbolism of charlie’s cigarettes and Erin’s asthma.

The Cigarettes are way more than JUST Charlie’s addiction to nicotine. They are a symbol of his selfishness and how he treats people. Remember, it isn’t “I lost my cigarettes” or “I forgot my cigarettes” or “My cigarettes went missing” it is “ERIN lost my cigarettes” It is the device through which we see him shirking blame.

Charlie clearly wants to make ALL The decisions in the show but when those decisions don’t lead to success, it isn’t his fault. His cigarettes are his want to have it all, ordering people around, but not having to bear with the consequences.

That is WHY Du’met’s trap for Charlie is so genius, it isn’t JUST about the cigarettes, it is about Charlie’s selfishness and his overbearing nature the cigarettes are his neurotic need to be in control of everything that ruins the show he is trying to make.

A director’s job, is to facilitate an environment in which every single person can do their job to the best of their ability, without much or any interruption, and have it come together as a cohesive vision. I have worked with great directors before that were GREAT at this. Everyone has their instructions, everyone knows their assignment and everyone has the means to make it happen.

Charlie’s denial when Erin asks if he wants to direct movies still, is also a sign of this need to be in control. By convincing others, that what he does is important or more important than what he used to want, maybe they will believe it...and so maybe he will too. It is the same as saying “oh i didn’t want to win anyway” when you lose a game, you want to seem in control, not like you are helpless and don’t know what to do. Which Charlie is.

And his Cigarettes are his grip on that control, he is a stress smoker, clearly and the cigarettes are the symbol of that stress, the symbol of his problems, the manifestation of the very flaws that brought him into this position.

Which is WHY it is such a great moment, when he is offered a cigarette at the end and for a moment, he reaches for it....but then declines. It isn’t JUST him declining the cigarettes, it is the writers way of showing how much he has CHANGED. like the curator said, Charlie learned that being a leader is more than ordering people around, you have to see your team as equals and also let them take charge when the time is right.

Charlie’s arc is learning how capable his team is, and that he can trust them to do good if he just lets them. Instead of having his hand in every single soup. He is a director...why is he telling Mark to not get creative with the photography? Why would he tell Erin to not try out something new with the sound when she is literally responsible for that, Why is he telling KATE the expert with the Masters in  criminal psychology and investigative journalist, To not change his scripts? Kate SHOULD be the one writing her text,

Mark SHOULD get creative with photography or at the very least be allowed the opportunity to try stuff out and if it sucks then you throw it away. Erin, as the sound mixer should fucking be able to sound mix and not be his personal assistant. PA’s exist for a reason.

The stress comes from him not being able to trust them to do a good job, despite them obviously being quite capable in their fields. He needs to loosen his grip and eventually he does...he let’s go of the anxiety, aka....he quits smoking cigarettes. or at least is trying.

Just wanted to put this thought out there. Idk, it also shows just how deep the symbolism of the trap goes that du’met set for him. It is probably the deepest most dramatic, he was kind of lazy when it came to Kate, yeh sure there was the article......now what? and Mark? he didn’t rly think of much of anything special for him.

He did focus on Erin a bit more, he gave her the opportunity to be brave, offering her inhaler. fear would have been to try to attack him, bravery, was to try to grab it, and buy time enough to live. And we SEE that he respected that bravery when she made that choice, only cutting a bit of her hair and leaving.

I’m sure he to an extent sees himself in Erin a bit, or at the very least his younger self, a scared vulnurable boy, and Erin is also scared and vulnurable. his REAL trap for her was also quite personalized, with the fact it was A. a hospital...Erin is dependent on an inhaler means you gotta get perscriptions for them and have to pick them up, and asthma attacks can land you in the hospital.

She has a medical issue she lives with so her dying in a medical ward, would make sense, not to mention she is avoiding said medical issue, trying not to think about her asthma and trying to mind over matter it, but the reality is it is not giong away and the medical ward in a way is also a symbol of that.

Jamie’s texts etc, are of course also a thing in there cuz he knew about her liking Jamie I suppose, and also a symbol of her fear, because she was too afraid to make a move. and again a second time she is given the opportunity to be brave....to listen to ‘jamie’s voice in the recording and hide.....or to run, and have to face him. I do feel like if Du’met feels about ANYONE as a possible successor....I could SEE it being Erin.

You can’t mind over matter Asthma...bravery is to face the reality of what you are dealing with. and working with it in mind, not avoiding it. Admitting to yourself you cannot stop this thing from happening and are dependent on some medication or other, is a scary thing to admit to ones’ self...it is giving up a part of your illusion of control. a little like charlie. But only by facing it can you move on. and du’met almost seemed like he wanted to TEACH that to her.His traps for her felt more like tests...lessons.

In short, I think Du’met and Charlie are Erin’s gay Dads with Charlie being stressed and snappy sometimes and Du’met only needing to give the man a stern look, for him to admit he was wrong and regret whatever it is he said to their daughter and apologizing cuz he IS trying to be better.

While Du’met is the dad teaching her to stand up for herself, to be a wolf, not a sheep. And Charlie being the one to reign in Du’met when he goes too far with some of his teachings.

[ghost-of-you]

I just came across your analyses of all the 5sos albums and can I just say: chefs kiss. amazing. from the way you approach them both musically and lyrically (are you a musician? you have a very good ear) to being able to tell who is singing which part of the harmony (when there’s more than 2 singing at once I have No Idea, and even when there’s just 2 I’m still a little hit and miss). so grateful you exist and did them!!! not only for my enjoyment purposes but also because of my crazy projects I’m about to tell you about just in case you’re interested

anyway, it started with the RAH version of teeth. I’m a classically trained violist, I’ve played in many orchestras, I looked and asked everywhere I could think of just to lay my hands on something like the score so I could maybe pull some musician friends together and play it. No avail. Then, sleep deprived and slightly manic and very unmotivated in the middle of writing my honours thesis I must’ve played that bass riff when messing around on my viola and was like ‘this isn’t even hard let me just open musescore’ and decided Luke’s voice best fit the cello and calum the viola and six hours later it was a whole orchestral piece with the riffs passing around the upper strings like the RAH version and also woodwind and brass instruments somehow and then the bass riff led me straight into thin white lies which quickly morphed into NITSW (and can I just say that bridge is the best thing ever when played by strings) and I was like, this is telling a story. That became the first movement of the concerto.

second movement had to start with the flutes playing the piano intro of lover of mine, then I borrowed ghost of you from youngblood and threw in lonely heart, all the ones in vaguely 3’s as far as timing goes went in, all satisfactorily longing (if mvmt 1 is Relationship Angst) ending on a reprise of ghost of you chorus a semitone up (I’m not even sure anymore tbh, it’s def less cohesive but pretty I think) and I tried to copy its RAH intro as an outro. By then I realised I wanted to make the third movement about self discovery that ended on red desert because the album is just SO SAD and it deserved a happy ending and I wanted to try fit as many songs from the album in as I could (no shame and kill my time didn’t fit thematically unfortunately and easier should’ve been in movement 1 but sonically it just didn’t go, at least not yet I’m open to attempting to incorporate any of those songs) so started with old me. I realised I could overlay it with best years. Weird choice I know but the chords and melody worked well enough (and I still don’t think best years has been brought to justice ngl). Then I overlaid wildflower with high which is surprisingly a combination that I love, and it worked music wise and I thought they offset each other alright?? I’m still not quite sure where I’m going with it yet. but then comes red desert and I did the RAH intro and the whole song with harmonies (does get repetitive and idk what to do with that yet) and it’s like. yay, I gave CALM a happy ending.

I guess what I’m asking is I want to do more of these for more of their albums or combination of them (like they’re genuinely so fascinating from a musical and storytelling lens I can’t get enough) and I’ve got some ideas but I want to hear if you have anything you can just hear coming after each other. like complete mess and red line or smth?? even moodswings and space between a rock and a hard place?? idk. just ideas. throw them all at me. I’ll do it and dedicate it to you

Okay, first, no, not a musician, it's just that my dad was a dj, so i grew up around a lot of sound equipment because he's very particular about sound quality and that totally developed my ear for that type of stuff and my interest for music is that much more intense because of it (i did teach myself how to play the guitar and i do sing, but, like, i don't have any real training) and I really appreciate you coming here to say these, because i have a lot of fun writing those. Also I saw your tags, don't know if you ever figured it out but the milf anthem is mrs all american lol

Second, I'm desperate to hear what you did with calm, from the description alone it feels like something impressive, I'm very interested to see how you overlayed high and wildflower because i can see it, but i can't really imagine how that would actually work sokaosksokas

And third, I actually have quite a few smaller combos i like to push together (i went through a mashup phase when i was learning how to play 5sos songs lol) but i usually go from lyrics and adjust the guitar to fit my voice, i have no idea how that could work for you, but one i always do is vapor -> lie to me -> why wont you love me -> bad omens (it used to be high at the end, but then they dropped bad omens and i liked the way that narratively bad omens closed the loop, you end up trapped in the relationship you know it's not working I like that a lot for this combo), i have a few weirder ones, that are mostly the ones that i never fully managed to make it work but i think they could, like moodswings into bleach, story of another us into close as strangers, i know you saw my post about rearranging 5sos5 to tell a story and for some reason i think you can overlay caramel and bad omens, and red line and you don't go to parties (this one i admitedlly don't really know, but i think the red line riff with the ydgtp riff could be something, just a feeling lol), there's the rhythm section mashup, tomorrow never dies -> babylon -> tears, that I think you can make something with the bass in all of them, for some reason vapor and me myself and i, talk fast -> not in the same way -> blender -> kill my time, this one i think its cool because of the 80s pop of the melodies and the progression of the story with the lyrics, lover of mine -> best years -> older -> ghost of you, again you have the narrative and i think the piano can work all of there to make this tragic love song. And this is everything i can think of right now, but i will probably think of more as soon as i hit post tho soaskookasas

But seriously, this sounds really cool, please let me know how it progresses <3

[frickityfrackityfuckingshit]

I look at the destruction at me feet.

I need to run right now, runs through my head, at the same time as god I should marry him.

I feel something wet trickle over my hip, and remember that I’ve lost a lot of blood.

That might be why I’m struggling to have normal thoughts right now.

Trying to kickstart any action at all, I take a step forward, only to crumple to the floor.

“Shit,” I hear distantly. I take a shuddering breath. At least I can do that. From experience, coughing up blood is not the most comfortable way to die.

Warm hands press fabric into the wound, and I groan, trying to bat the hands away.

“I’ll regen,” I mumble, but my words must be slurring more than I thought because the hands stay firmly in place, as well as gently rearranging my limbs so I lay a bit more comfortably.

I hadn’t realised I’d closed my eyes, until I open them and meet a pair of familiar brown eyes staring down at me.

Confusion swirls around my mind.

“What? But you-”

The hands press harder into my wound, intentionally or not I don’t know, but I groan in pain.

“Let’s just wait until someone who can help you gets here,” he says worriedly.

“I’ll regen,” I say, more clearly this time. His eyes widen with surprise.

“You will?”

“Yeah,” I croak. “You wouldn’t know would you. Not like you’re-” I cough as some of the settling dust lodges in my lungs.

“Not like you’d ever been much of a threat to me before,” I settle with, eying him warily.

Him. Who, my mind supplies a little more cohesively, is the Mask, my nemesis. Not that he’s ever been much of one, just the most consistent enemy. Forever easy to overcome, forever slipping out of my grasp.

He purses his lips, but doesn’t respond. I’m going to push the matter anyway.

“What the fuck was that?” I gasp. It’s hard to sound as intense as I feel, what with lying on the ground in the dust.

He stays silent, but glances at the crater in the ground with a wince. Then he lets out a sigh.

“I don’t do this stuff to hurt people.”

I’m still confused, but I know it’s not from blood loss anymore. I realise I’m well enough to sit up now, so I do, despite the panicked look he shoots me.

“Then why.”

He grimaces. God he’s so much easier to get talking when he’s got some nonsensical plot up his sleeve. This is like drawing blood from a stone.

“Why?” I demand. He sighs.

“Honestly, the first time, I just really needed the money. I didn’t want to hurt anyone so I thought, if I keep it tame, worst case scenario I can teleport out, none the worse off.” He laughs self depreciatingly. “Rent costs a lot in this city you know? I was between jobs and just- desperate.”

I knew what he was talking about. Over half the people we detained weren’t bad guys, they were just as Mask said - desperate.

“And then, I don’t know, fighting you was kinda fun? And then my girlfriend broke up with me and I was like, you know, what the fuck who even cares. And yeah. I guess it escalated from there.”

I couldn’t help but laugh then. It felt pretty good after the high stress of the fight we just had.

“So, you decided to make up stupid plots because what, you were bored and lonely?”

He raised his eyebrows at me, but didn’t defend himself. My humour turned to exasperation. I groaned.

“See I knew you were an idiot already, just not this much of an idiot.”

He just grinned at me. I pulled the fabric away from my abdomen which, now that I was looking at it, was actually the Mask’s hood. The blood flow had stopped completely.

When I looked up at him again, his grin widened.

“I’ll see you next time then.”

And before my eyes, his disappeared in a bomb of sparkles. I would have gaped, but I kept my lips firmly shut. I knew from experience that the glitter was not great in your mouth.

I sighed instead, and heaved to my feet.

Next time. Next time I’d catch him.

Your supervillain nemesis is little more than goofy comedy relief, always coming up with clunky machines and insane, nonsensical schemes. When a new dangerous villain appeared, your nemesis utterly destroyed them, and then continued on like nothing happened.

[oneuldoh]

06월 06일 2023년

Life Log — Entry # 03

I almost made a new account here on Tumblr. I deleted it after 5 minutes of signing up. I (again) wanted to make a separate account for personal stuff. I tried doing it four months ago and when I did, I stopped posting all together; thinking no one’s going to read it anyway. But that was the point though? I ended up deleting it and moving back to this account.

I just couldn’t delete this account mainly because I have followers here even though I haven’t interacted with most of them. Anyways! I decided to make a side blog instead so I could still access my main account. I made this private too so I could post at ease without having to worry about getting judged. Guess I’ll never be comfortable spilling my thoughts out in the open.

This week, dad and I are alone at home. Mom went to Japan and will be staying there for a week. Jan is at Boracay with Pau, babysitting. I’m doing my best to do house chores while getting my stuff organized.

These days I am trying to be productive by:

Cleaning up my socials. I set up my Letterboxd account! I also made a new YouTube channel because I felt like separating my fangirling account will make my life seem like it’s organized. I also cleaned up my Twitter accounts.

Applying to jobs. I’ve been applying to jobs since last year but I didn’t took it way too seriously. Now that I’m desperate for money, I’m taking it seriously by answering calls and attending those damned interviews. I really suck at interviews. I stutter a lot and I couldn’t make a cohesive sentence. Maybe it’s one of the reasons why I couldn’t get a job offer. Oh, I have a scheduled interview this Thursday at Makati near my old office. It’s an 8am-5pm job and I’m not sure if I’m ready to commute. I hope there’s a job opportunity where I could work from home.

Listening to kpop boy group discographies! These days I’m into EXO, BTOB, and Seventeen! I’m kinda giddy that I’m discovering these groups like I’m in my teens again. I can’t believe I only liked one boy group since 2007 and that’s Bigbang. There’s news that TOP is no longer with YG and Bigbang. GD’s contract ended, too. Well, Still Life felt like it was a really good bye but I was hoping it was a See You Again type of song. Anyway! I’m listening to all of these boy groups’ albums from their first album release up to present. I want to sincerely enjoy their music. I have been following EXO since 2020 but I haven’t had the chance to discover their old songs so I couldn’t say that I’m a solid fan yet. As for BTOB, I’ve known them because of Sung-Jae BUT it’s just this year that I wanted to dive into their fandom because of Chang-Sub. I would say he’s my bias. I discovered him thru his Youtube segment Jeongwaja in ootb studio’s YouTube channel (I’ve watched all of his videos! This week, he’ll go back to the military as a promise for reaching 500k subscribers haha!) As for Seventeen, I’ve been seeing this member on Twitter and he’s just handsome af haha! His name’s Wonwoo! Although I hate getting into boy groups with more than 10 members (my memory is frail plus I can’t remember who’s singing), this group may be an exception. Their albums and songs are all a bop (although most of it were kinda sound the same). I really liked it!

Here’s a song I recently discovered that I like:

Chanyeol launched his personal YouTube channel! He talked about the meaning behind his channel name and how he got it (thanks to Zzar!). Zzar stole the show here. She knows she’s the boss haha! Hoping to get to know more of Chanyeol through his YouTube! He’s my bias (just look at that face!!!!) and seeing him with Zzar made me fall in love with him more.

I know this is a distraction from SM Ent because of the ongoing lawsuit. I hope all members of EXO leave that shitty company and just make their own company. I’ll support them no matter what happens!

Photo credit of Chanyeol’s drawing

Anyway! I typed a lot which is new. Maybe because no one’s going to read about this? And I didn’t care about whether my sentences made sense or not. I just wanted to post something.

It’s currently 11:30pm and I wake up at 6am to drink meds. Oh, I finally finished all those big pills for treating TB today. I was taking 1200mg of meds in the past two months. I can finally say good bye to those big pills. Tomorrow onwards, I’ll be taking the small pills. Hopefully, my month 2 sputum result is negative. Lately I’ve been coughing again.

Anyways. Bye for now!

[f-agagegea]

Starting with the first album for the event, it pains me to put Songs from a Blackbird last because I don’t think it’s her weakest album at all. Actually, if I was ranking this based on what I think is her best rather than my favorite, this album would actually be a lot higher. Maybe top three? Anyways, it’s last mostly because I realized much like Spark, I don’t really come back to this album a lot. I think it’s very cohesive, and several songs sound like it could’ve been from the 70’s. The highlights of that album are Driving and the extremely underrated You and I. I will say, my least favorite respect about this album are the lyrics. Driving is one of her best written songs as well as Never Leave Me, but I’m not a fan of the extremely vague lyrics that a lot of these songs have. In particular, On Fire is the most guilty of being nondescript, and that song had three songwriters in total. Honestly, the weakest lyrics she has ever put out on an album, and it’s my least favorite Marion song ever. (Sorry On Fire fans. 😔) But there IS a very reasonable explanation for this, and IIRC it’s because Marion wanted keep it more on the vague side because, in the past, she usually wrote her lyrics more openly and this time she wanted to keep some things to herself. So that’s why the lyrics were more nondescript. But imo, you can still be an interesting songwriter without needing it to be personal. And before I talk about this era, I wanted to give a little context before this album came out. Marion had came back to Norway around 2010 to be a judge on X Factor, and she was around 26-years-old. She had been grinding and working so hard throughout her 20’s, trying to make an intentional career, but it didn’t work out for her. So when she had gotten a call in LA to join the TV show, you can probably imagine how exhausted she was and just wanted to go home. And this call essentially changed her life for the better. People still had very nasty opinions about her, and she essentially work hard to rebuild her reputation, which she ultimately did on a show called Hver gang vi møtes. She got to talked about her side of the story, and people got to see the real her. Part 2: Marion has stated how much this show means to her, and I do believe this show influenced this album (aside from the fact that she grew listening to 70’s music because of her parents.) So this album is a start of a lot of things her. And I also wanted to make note that Marion had also made a huge transition in her sound. Before, she was known to making rock music, so when she switched, some of her fans didn’t like it, and some of her haters also took jabs at her. This was especially the case when she had released Found Someone and Colors Turned to Grey as singles before this album became a thing. But again, I think this change of sound was necessary for her career. I don’t know if she would still be in the industry if she didn’t adapt. Anyways, more that I could say, but I’ll end it here. Will released the next album in the ranking tomorrow.

[theramblingsofadork]

I’ve always struggled with making AUs.

I’m the type of person that doesn’t like messing with good canon because I like to fit my characters stories within the universe as best I can and make future changes from there.

So it was interesting, coming back to the Sonic franchise. I wanted to revamp my old OCs from 10+ years ago to fit into a new story with IDW and my hyperfixation of a certain Dr. Starline.

Only.. I ran into a problem.

Multiple problems. XD

L e t m e t e l l y o u, oh! The NUMBER of times that I ran into OC and canon similarities the further I got into reading the modern comics (specifically relating to Starline) was staggering. Like, I was laughing at how it felt like the IDW writers and I got on the same wavelength by accident.

Names, powers, beat for beat story moments- it was both crazy and hilarious.

(*None of my stories were published back in the day, I would like to add. In no way, shape or form did they copy my ideas from online. Just want to make that clear.)

Well, I couldn’t bring myself to completely start over and wipe my OCs from existence because of how dear they were to me, and making new OCs for this story didn’t feel right either, so I’ve been trying to work them into canon.

Did have to change some things and rename my main OC, but I think I’ve managed to make it kind of work without making it sound like I’m copying canon too much.

Now; I’m sure I’m the only one who cares this much about what is essentially just one of a hundred million fanverses that maybe like, five people will see and maybe enjoy, but dangit, crafting a cohesive story with fun characters is my itch; my thing that I love to do, so screw it, Imma do it anyways. :)

Still, it’s a work in process with bugs to work out, since a lot of it was invented at the beginning of the Metal Virus arc, and Heaven™ help me, if my brain hasn’t been more fried than a bowl of mashed potatoes from a lack of sleep the last 6+ weeks.

So if anything I post in the coming weeks sounds jank, lemme know. :)

[electricabsolution]

oh your utterly INCREDIBLE tags @justsomeonenamedskyla thank you so much.!!!! DONT apologize for responding i love having intellectual discussions about stupid stuff… :3

(i tried to organize them in parallels. tried is the key word) i do love the fact that it’s gendered equally. very cohesive.

LONG RAMBLES under this cut im just putting the graph up here for completion.

anyway. to all your points. yes the connection between sam and music is absolutely right!!! i think he also has the most in his storyline regarding, well, growing up: he grapples with his dad’s very possible death and how to explain it to vincent (death being a motif of time, like the ending of things ykyk). and sebastian is pretty opposite to him b/c while seb IS the more gloomy of the pair he also tries really hard to thrive and become more comfy in his life. hes lonely, like metaphorically i imagine he uses space as armor. and maybe most importantly, he loves frogs so he would be the most fit to breed the new genesis frog :)

YEAH mr qi and the wizard being a muse of doom and lord of life sounds really good to me. i love master classes & the rarity of them, how those characters become their aspect in singularity. wait. hold on.

im thinking now about how master classes interact with the narrative, like being within it while simultaneously creating it ie. caliborn and calliope. so maybe…… weird thought but maybe the farmer is a master class? in conjunction with mr qi? like, we are the only ones who interact with him. the wizard is our catalyst, yeah, but. we go farther than he ever would. or could. the more i think about this the more it makes sense to me because like. WE the farmer straight up have control (lordship ??!!) over the whole game it doesn’t exist (??!!) until we open it up. huh. my brain is melting. lord of life farmer?

OK. THE LUNAR SWAYS. GENIUS. i didn’t even consider those. i do feel more comfortable with classpects because they have much more rules than the sways, lol. but i definitely agree with your take on logic vs emotion. to add to that, my personal interpretation is sort of about.. thought patterns..? im not sure how to describe it. but to me a core part of existing on derse or prospit is the horrorterrors and the prophetic clouds of skaia. it’s about the ways in which they obtain information. passively watching the clouds, or actively listening to the whispers of the horrorterrors (OR, actively trying not to, like in dave’s case). if that makes sense at all. [like at first it was hard to separate the notion that derse = antagonists because gamzee and vriska are both prospit, right? but this makes sense to me because they both get most of their ideas through doc scratch, like watching and learning. contrast this to like, aradia, who makes her own choices & is dersebound.] anyway i think this is also in line with your ideas. theyre all perfect. awesome job. im done now. <3

i just found this note i made so presenting the stardew valley romanceable NPCs classpected as if they were in a 12-player SBURB session: