#it could probably be outpaced by some tortoises

[clonerightsagenda]

Obtained a rental car and I am terrified. I'm inching through residential streets 5-10 miles under the speed limit like my vehicle is made of glass. Everyone else on the road wants to kill me

[crowcronut]

Lessons from the river 10/20/20

I put some mini pumpkins on my alter on Mabon as offerings. In the last few days the biggest one started to rot. Took that as the offering had been taken, and took all 3 down to the river behind my house - a border between two towns, and tossed them in to be consumed by the birds and fish and the like. Part of my druidic practice is leaving my offerings in nature for animals or fungus to consume. (as such, I like to make sure that whatever I offer wont be damaging to the local wildlife. Pumpkins are something that animals would regularly eat from people’s porches this time of year anyways so they seem to be a good bet.) Offered my intentions to the Morrigan and Brighid, and watched the pumpkins float for a bit. I threw them in at a sort of spot that i think is technically my neighbor’s property, but is right on the property lines. Its a good spot to stand close to the water because theres a bit of concrete and stone there, as opposed to my own parents’ property which is mostly an awkward thicket of trees where you cant get too close. The current of the river would bring them past our entire property and i decided to watch them until they had completely passed us. Behind my other neighbor’s house the current speeds up a little and the water has more rocks and debris in it. I decided I would go back inside when they all got to that point.  The river is really small and pretty slow and i probably watched them for 10-15 minutes. At first they landed in a triangular pattern, the large, rotten one in the lead, then the small one with the tall stem that sat on top of the rotten one on my alter, and then the medium sized one was in the back. after a few minutes they stretched out more in a line, the large/rotten one still in the lead, but after a bit the medium one passed the small one with the tall stem, which fell far behind the others. It was really a matter of luck and what part of the current the pumpkins fell into. Maybe size played a small factor, but i’m no physicist. After a bit i found myself somewhat rooting for the little pumpkin.  Eventually, I somewhat lost track of the largest pumpkin but saw up in the rocky/faster current part of the river a bright orange thing that was approximately the size of the pumpkin stuck against a rock. Shortly after, I saw the medium pumpkin also get stuck on another rock not far behind the big one. eventually the little pumpkin caught up to the other two, the medium pumpkin managed to be freed from it’s rock as the small one passed and they moved upstream together, but the large one remained stuck. Obviously, the fable of the tortoise and the hare came to mind: slow and steady wins the race. 

This seemed to reassure me of 2 things. 

1. I’ve been out of school for a year and a half now and have had limited luck with finding work in my career field. I’ve seen my peers go on to be hired by major studios i’d love to work with, while i have been struggling with job applications while working freelance with a small, indie, company (which i do genuinely love and I am thankful for this job, but it doesnt pay the bills and isn’t giving me much of an opportunity to move out of my parents house and have some sovereignty). I’ve been outpaced by my peers, and it really often feels like i’m going to be left behind and have to eventually give up on my dreams. But it also reminds me of my cousin and her roommate - both ballerina/o’s at the same company. Her roommate at the beginning of his career was offered promotion after promotion and even now is one of the company’s soloist dancers. He does have the advantage of being a talented ballerino, and male dancers are far more scarce than female ones, and as such are more often considered for promotions/lead roles. at the same time, at the beginning of her career she sustained a good few injuries and for a while it looked like she would have to retire in her mid-20s. She stuck with it, however, and ended up getting promoted to soloist as well. Pre-covid, she really started to thrive in her career (covid also gave her a much needed break so she could get a much needed surgery that would add a few years to her career). I might be reading to much into it, but it felt like the universe was telling me that just because my career isnt moving at the speed i wish it was, as long as i dont get caught in the branches and weeds on the side, I will get to a place I want to go, and even surpass the people whose careers accelerated before mine did. 

2. taking things at your own pace isnt a bad thing. Going too fast might get you stuck later. burnout is real, and it will inhibit your ability to move forward. Dont move faster than you are able to. The slow current is taking you to where you need to be. The fast current might just kill you. 

-

I did follow the pumpkins along the river from one edge of the property to the next. at the other edge of the property theres another sort of clearing that does actually belong to my family. Unlike the other one that lies on the property line, I couldnt get close to the water, but i could get a very good view of it. Where i stood, the ground was soft, and beside me was an almost completely decomposed stump of a tree. I think the one that had been there was either dead or dying when we moved in, and my parents cut it down to reduce the risk of it falling on the house in a storm. The soil looked and felt rich, like it was waiting for something to be planted there, and I imagined roots extending from my body into that soil and growing into the earth, Imagining what it would be like to be a tree on that river - watching leaves pass down the stream every day, watching ducklings hatch in the banks in the spring, and maturing in the summer. 

I really love druidic paganism for that reason. I love that feeling of being connected to the nature around you. Standing by the water and among the trees is such a calming, meditative experience, and I always feel so focused and refreshed afterwards. 

[tappity-tap]

FOREVER BElonging WITH YOU

PART IV - THE ISSUE

<< PART III || PART V >> Story Rating: M Chapter Warnings: Some sexual content, medical stuff, and illness. [This chapter has a little nsfw bit at the beginning but is otherwise sfw]

Nearly a month had passed since he and Rukia were officially confirmed as a married couple, and for Renji life had never been better.

 Waking up next to Rukia the morning after their wedding ceremony almost made him question the reality of it all. Not that this was the first time he’d woken up next to her…they slept side-by-side almost every night when they lived in the Rukongai, even huddled together under the same blankets on the nights the temperatures dropped below freezing.

 But they’d never woken up next to each other like this, naked and disheveled within their bed linens after spending the night joined together in a passionate physical affirmation of their love, until that day. Watching the sleeping form of his wife stir and give a peaceful sigh felt like a wonderful dream, and even more so when she opened her eyes and kissed him with a smile before they made love again in the glow of dawn.

 If this were a dream, he thought, holding her close while she softly moaned his name, he’d gladly remain asleep for the rest of time.

 He was still riding high on a heightened state of euphoria when he came back to work the following week and it was enough to endure the constant barrage of waggling eyebrows and sniggering comments directed at him, the most popular choice being the question of how Captain Kuchiki felt “now that his lieutenant was shacking up with his little sister.”  Whenever the topic came about, Renji would give a shrug and reply “Can’t say. Why dontcha ask him?”

 That usually shut them up.

 Speaking of the captain, being his superior’s brother-in-law was actually going better than anticipated. Even after the marriage was registered two weeks before the wedding their working relationship stayed pretty much the same as ever, though Renji did notice Byakuya now tended to shed a little more of his aloof persona once the door of the office closed and no one else was around to see. It wasn’t much but he would take it over nothing at all. That, and they saw more of each other outside the workplace.

 While Byakuya’s company wasn’t entirely unpleasant, it was the company of another that Renji truly yearned for, but as they were enlisted in different divisions they didn’t see each other much. He missed Rukia terribly during the days he was on duty and frequently found his thoughts turning to her, wondering things like what was she doing at the moment? Was she thinking about him, too? Should he seek her out during their lunch break? Maybe leave work early to pick her up and take her out to a nice (albeit budget-friendly) dinner? What should they plan on doing tomorrow for their day off? Train together?

 But then there were those other thoughts he had to quickly suppress before anyone noticed the hue of his face was coming dangerously close to matching that of his hair.

 It wasn’t that Renji only saw her in that way now, no, not at all.  It was more the newness of actually getting to explore this different facet of intimacy in their relationship after an eternity of celibacy that had him thinking about it more than he’d care to admit to anyone else.

 Once she was used to navigating the vast difference in their sizes, Rukia’s proficiency in the bedroom had quickly flourished. Soon their activities moved out of the bed and onto other places, like the floor. Or the wall. Or the bathtub (that, as it turned out, did indeed comfortably fit two people).

 And there was that one time their evening had started with making dinner together but ended with Rukia flung over the table screaming for more as he grasped her hips and furiously pounded her from behind.

 “Oh god, harder, Renji! Fuck me HARDER! YES! YES!” She threw her head back and moaned louder with each powerful thrust, even giving a cry of delight when he finally gave in to her multiple demands and planted a few quick open palm slaps on her ass. He was glad he relented on that one. The faint red marks they left behind were pretty hot for sure, but honestly, it would’ve been unfair of him to deny the birthday girl her special request.

 Renji eventually lost count of how many times he made her come that night (it was a lot) but he did at least learn she liked when he twisted his fingers through her hair and pulled her head back to kiss her, and if he bit down on just the right spot near the base of her neck as she was about to climax he could make her orgasm last nearly twice as long. Rukia learned how embarrassingly easy it was for her husband to become fully aroused and insatiably horny if she handled cucumbers a certain way.

 “Is something the matter, Renji?”

 “Ah NO! Not at all, Captain! All good here!” Renji cheerfully shuffled the papers in his hands and put on what he hoped wasn’t a grin that said “I was just thinking about how much your sister enjoys it when we get rough.”

 Byakuya’s eyebrow quirked up slightly but he said nothing else and went back to his forms.

 They continued their work in silence until a series of frantic knocks sounded on the office door, followed closely by an equally frantic, but still professional, voice. “Excuse me, Lieutenant Abarai! Captain Kuchiki! I have an urgent message from the 4th Division!”

 Renji froze. 4th Division messages like this only came if one of their subordinates had sustained critical or life-threatening injuries. A few deaths had even been reported to him during his tenure as lieutenant. He tried to rack his brain for any current dangerous missions that involved members of their division but came up empty.

 Byakuya glanced at him, then back at the door. “Enter.”

 The door opened and a young Shinigami with silvery blonde curls and tortoise shell glasses darted in. She knelt on the floor and proceeded to read from an unfurled scroll in her hands.

“From Captain Kotetsu Isane of the 4th Division: This dispatch is to inform Lieutenant Abarai Renji and Captain Kuchiki Byakuya of the 6th Division that Lieutenant Kuchiki Rukia, acting captain of the 13th Division, has been admitted to the our medical facilities for treatment of injuries sustained during morning training exercises-”

 The papers scattered noisily. Renji’s stomach lurched and he leapt to his feet with a roar, “WHAT? RUKIA? IS SHE ALRIGHT? WHAT HAPPENED?”

 He’d practically blown his voice with that outburst and his knuckles turned white and numb from how hard he gripped the edge of his desk but he didn’t care. If something bad happened to her…he couldn’t even finish that thought.

 The messenger flinched and nearly dropped her scroll. “I-I’m sorry, Lieutenant Abarai, I do not know the details of what happened.” She cleared her throat and finished relaying the memo to them in summary, “Lieutenant Kuchiki is in stable condition and we can confidently say her life is not in any danger. However, the captain detected some abnormalities in her reiatsu that made her very concerned. She is running tests as we speak.”

 There was some relief that came with knowing she wasn’t in a life-or-death state, but Renji still felt like he was going to simultaneously throw up and pass out from worry. His rapidly weakening legs may have very well given out from under him had a hand not reached out and firmly grasped his shoulder to steady him. Renji whipped his head around, startled.

 Byakuya’s expression was blank but Renji knew his captain was silently telling him to pull himself together, for both his sake and Rukia’s. He gave a terse nod once Renji managed to suppress most of the shaking. “Go. I will finish things here and meet you later.”

 Though he’d regained enough command over his major motor functions to keep himself upright, Renji’s voice still faltered. “Thank you, Captain,” he choked out, his tongue dry and stuck to the roof of his mouth. Byakuya’s grip briefly flexed in imitation of a reassuring squeeze before letting go.

Renji skirted around his desk, all the while yanking off his lieutenant badge and stuffing it inside his uniform since he was technically now off-duty. Thanks to a new law enacted shortly after the war with the Quincies, any Shinigami attending to an immediate family emergency was automatically relieved from their post, though because so few of them even had immediate families this regulation had seldom been invoked since its conception.

 The messenger scrambled to her feet and followed as he brushed past with a clipped “Let’s go.” She managed to stay even with his hastened stride until they got outside where she was swiftly left in the dust of his shunpo.

 Thanks to the extraordinary speed he’d developed from years of dedicated training, it took less than 20 seconds for him to make the journey to the 4th Division’s campus entrance, though he probably could’ve done it in half that time had it not been for his preoccupied thoughts siphoning away at his concentration. In terms of speed among the current group of higher ranked officers of the Gotei 13 Renji was confident he most likely fell within the top five. He couldn’t say this with absolute certainty, however, as he’d never had the opportunity to confirm if anyone besides Captain Soi Fon and his own captain could outpace him. Rankings accuracy aside, he was among the elite Shinigami who were regarded as “exceptionally fast.”

 So, understandably, he was amazed when the girl materialized next to him before he could even attempt to catch his breath. Even in the midst of such a critical situation the drill instructor side of him couldn’t help but be impressed whenever a young recruit showed promising talent.

 “You’re pretty quick,” he commented approvingly as she moved to unlatch the gate.

 She blinked up at him in surprise. “Ah…thank you, sir! It’s an honor to hear that from a ranked officer of your caliber!” Her bespectacled eyes shone with admiration.

 “Yeah,” Renji responded absently, now filling with an uneasy dread as the door groaned open.

 She beamed at him as they hurried inside and made haste towards the main medical building. “Don’t worry, Lieutenant Abarai! Lieutenant Kuchiki is in good hands. I’m sure she’s going to be fine!”

 “Yeah,” he repeated with even less certainty than before.

 By the time she dropped him off at the front entrance Renji was so on edge he barreled through the doors as nothing more than a black and red blur and charged straight past the terrified 4th Division staffers without a word. He didn’t bother stopping at the reception desk to ask which room Rukia was in. Not that it was necessary since he could just seek her out by reiatsu, anyway, and it didn’t take him long to pinpoint her location. With a little more focus, he was even able to pick up on the anomalies the messenger had mentioned.

 He immediately understood why Captain Kotetsu had been worried; he’d never felt anything like that from Rukia’s spiritual pressure before, or anyone else’s for that matter. It was definitely hers but at the same time, somehow, it wasn’t, as if someone was constantly adjusting a radio tuning dial so while the output and volume were the same, the frequencies were crossing and fading in and out. At one point, just for a split second, he even thought he felt a flicker that resembled his own reiatsu, though that was probably just his imagination playing tricks on his frantic brain.

 The door to her room had been left ajar so he slipped inside without a sound and almost collapsed from relief at the sight that greeted him. Next to the window Rukia lay in bed propped up by a fluffy white pillow, inert but fully conscious. The outer layer of her uniform had been removed and placed neatly folded on a chair in the corner. With her hands haphazardly draped across her lap and her head bowed, she painted the perfect picture of a droopy wilting plant until she sensed his presence and perked up instantly.

 “Oh, Renji. You’re here.” She gave a weary smile and automatically reached out to him.

 “Rukia,” his voiced cracked as he knelt by the bed and grasped her small hand in his,  “are ya hurt? What happened?” Trying his best to remain calm, he did a quick visual once-over. There weren’t any visible cuts or bruises on her skin nor was any part of her wrapped in bandages or covered in gauze. She did appear slightly paler than usual but as far as he could tell she was uninjured.

 Rukia bit her lip. “I must have over-exerted myself during training,” she admitted reluctantly. Seeing his eyes widen, she quickly added, “Don’t worry, Renji, I’m alright. Just tired. And nauseous.”

 His heart ached for her. Employing the only method he could think to help her feel better, he lifted her slender hand to his lips. Each knuckle in turn was garnished with a sympathetic kiss. “You got sick?” he murmured into the back of her palm.

 A soft finger stroking over his cheek let him know his sentiments had been received. “Once on the field and twice after coming here,” Rukia grimaced,  “but it wasn’t too bad. I didn’t feel like eating this morning, thankfully.”

 Renji was about to gently scold her for skipping breakfast when the cracked door flew wide open. Their joined hands dropped back onto the bed as the 4th Division’s lieutenant, Kotetsu Kiyone, waltzed in.  Kiyone happened to be the former co-3rd seat of the 13th Division, serving as Rukia’s superior at first, then later her subordinate when she received the promotion to lieutenant. They remained friends even after Kiyone’s transfer to the 4th to serve under her older sister, Captain Kotetsu Isane.

 “Kotetsu-dono!” Caught off guard as she was, Rukia looked genuinely pleased to see her and made to sit up straight.

 Kiyone waved a hand to signal that wasn’t necessary. “Kuchiki-san! How are you feeling?” she asked in an overly chipper tone that gave Renji the odd feeling something was going on that he wasn’t privy to.

 “Um…better. I still feel queasy though,” Rukia informed her.

 “Oh, yes. That’s to be expected.” Kiyone bounced around on the balls of her feet, looking back and forth between Renji and Rukia eagerly.

 Something was definitely up. Renji raised one eyebrow at her. “You look…happy.”

 “Mmhmm!” Kiyone clasped her gloved hands together and beamed as Captain Kotetsu entered the room and stood beside her sister. In her arms she held a clipboard, which she gave a quick once-over before greeting them warmly.

 “Abarai. Kuchiki.”

 They nodded respectfully as best they could given their current positions. “Captain.”

 “Well.” The captain lowered her clipboard. “The good news is, this is not an illness.”

 “So she’s fine? This’ll go away soon?” Renji demanded.

 Instead of giving him a straight affirmative answer, Captain Kotetsu looked to the side and drew in a deep breath. “Not…exactly,” she smiled, more to herself than them, “I’m afraid this will be very long-term.”

 Next to her, Kiyone was practically vibrating.

 Renji was thoroughly confused by everything that was currently going on around him. “Uh…Captain…I don’t understand…if she’s not sick…’an hang on, waddaya mean ‘long-term’?” he fumbled through each stilted question to the captain with a strained frown. Talking clearly while attempting to rationalize why the heads of the 4th Division were acting in such a bizarre manner was far more difficult than it looked.

 At that point, the suspense was too much for Kiyone to take anymore. With a squeak of excitement, she threw her hands up in the air and blurted out at him, “You’re having a baby! Isn’t it wonderful?”

 Rukia’s mouth fell open in shock.

 Renji stared at the gleefully bobbing girl before them. No, that couldn’t be…he was sure he hadn’t heard her right. Desperate to stay grounded in reality, he rubbed his eyes with his free hand and gave a rough clear of his throat. Twice. Then calmly, so he wouldn’t mishear anything this time, he lowered his hand to his knee, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry, what…?”

 The hopping faltered momentarily as Kiyone burst out laughing while waving her hand in front of her face. “Oh, I wasn’t very clear was I? Abarai-kun, you’re not having the baby, Kuchiki-san is!” She frowned and tapped her chin. “Hmmm…although I guess that sort of means you are, too, now that I think about it…”

 A bunch of asinine stuttering sounds warbled out of Renji’s gaping mouth. Everything in his vision was going fuzzy and a faint ringing noise started plaguing both ears. His head stiffly cranked itself to the taller of the two blurred shapes in front of him. “C-Captain…?” he croaked at it feebly.

 Captain Kotetsu nodded and stepped in front of Kiyone with a sheepish laugh. “I’m afraid it’s just as she said. Kuchiki is, without a doubt, carrying a child.” She raised her clipboard and produced a thick black pen from somewhere on her person to skim down the top page. “Mm, yes. We did run every test twice to make absolutely sure.  Though I must admit, at first the abnormal patterns to Kuchiki’s reiatsu made me think she might be…”

 Renji tried to listen to what the captain was saying but kept getting distracted by the slight problem of having trouble remembering how to breathe air. Meanwhile, Rukia’s wide violet eyes were steadily growing wider and she looked more and more like she was dangerously close to becoming ill again.

 “…and from what we’ve been able to determine, the fetus was likely conceived shortly before or around the time of your wedding,” Captain Kotetsu rambled on, oblivious to the fact that neither of the people she was addressing had absorbed a single word of what she previously said. The pen tapped several times on the clipboard before she gave them an apologetic glance. “Ah, it would help if you could give specific dates…?

 “Er…d-definitely…not…before…” Renji stammered and he was suddenly too mortified to look anyone in the eye. Rukia’s head thrashed rapidly from side to side in confirmation.

 “Oh, a wedding night baby! How nice.” The captain let out a laugh as silvery as her hair and jotted something down. Behind her, Kiyone flashed them an impressed thumbs up and mouthed Good job!

 For a while, the only sound in the room came from the scratching of Captain Kotetsu’s pen. Renji took the opportunity to glance sidelong at Rukia again. If he thought she looked pale before, she was now a shade whiter than the sheets she clutched to her trembling chin.

 “So…what now?” Renji asked uncertainly once the pen was lifted for good. He was trying his best to keep calm and collected, mainly for Rukia’s sake, but this was getting progressively more difficult as his head spun and his hand numbed from her tightening grip.

 “Well…once she feels better you can take her home. And…we will monitor her condition closely. Have her come in every few weeks or so. Oh, and Kuchiki, please don’t use your zanpakuto for a while or stress your reiatsu too much. Hmm…while you could still lead your division in the administrative sense, you should probably be taken off the active duty roster…” Captain Kotetsu sounded more like she was rattling off vague ideas than relaying a clear set of instructions.

 The couple’s rapidly increasing doubt must have been conveyed in their expressions for she quickly held up her hand in what she clearly thought was a confident gesture. “Now, I don’t want either of you to worry. It has been a while since we’ve dealt with a pregnancy, but…I’m sure we can handle it!” With a quick nod for emphasis and a gesture for her sister to follow, both captain and lieutenant exited the room.

 Unsurprisingly, they did not leave behind the most reassured of parents-to-be.

 “Renji…” Rukia breathed out once the door had clicked shut. It was the first time she’d spoken since Kiyone broke the news. “Are we…really having a baby?”

 Renji blew out a breath of his own. He didn’t know Captain Kotetsu as well as her sister (which was to say, not very) but he knew enough to be certain that she wasn’t the type for practical jokes.

 After briefly contemplating this, he sighed again. “Yeah…looks like it.” He ran his hand over his head and accidentally knocked his bandanas askew. There was no point in fixing them when he was shaking too much to tie a proper knot, not to mention his other hand was already currently occupied, so he didn’t even bother. They came off easily with one solid yank.

 Rukia watched the discarded fabrics drop noiselessly onto the bed beside her and nodded slowly.  “I see,” was all she said. One by one, her fingers unclenched and she lowered the now badly crimped sheet back into her lap. The feeling in Renji’s hand returned as her hold on him slackened as well.

 They were given approximately half an hour to digest this bombshell before Byakuya arrived. Most of that time was spent in reflective silence, broken only when an orderly came in to give Rukia a light meal and a tonic for her upset stomach, and again when the division’s third seat and their good friend, Yamada Hanataro, briefly poked his head in the room to voice his congratulations. Apparently, word had spread fast in the 4th Division.

 When Byakuya swept in, he was composed and calm as ever with only a small fluctuation to his normally steady reiatsu giving away how worried he actually was. “Rukia. You appear to be doing well,” he surmised after his eyes skimmed over her briefly. He didn’t even bother to acknowledge Renji. (Renji found this understandable; he wasn’t the one in the hospital bed after all.)

 “I am, Nii-sama, thank you,” Rukia answered a pitch higher than usual.

 Byakuya noticed, of course. His brow furrowed by the tiniest of fractions. “Have they determined anything?”

 “U-um…well…that is…” she hesitated. Renji could see the cogs working furiously in her head. He knew she most likely wanted to tell Byakuya as she respected him too much to keep anything this big secret but the shock of the unexpected diagnosis was throwing her for a loop.

 Not to mention, this was basically a flat-out admission to her own brother that they were sleeping together (which definitely wouldn’t be news to him seeing as he had been married once himself and knew exactly what activities were routinely practiced within a healthy marriage) but ever the easily embarrassed introvert, Rukia tended to keep a tight lid on every aspect of their private life together, even when it came to close friends. He doubted she’d said anything to Inoue yet or was ever planning on doing so in the future.

 Feeling just as apprehensive as she looked, Renji squeezed her hand and sighed reluctantly, “Might as well tell ‘im now, Rukia. It’s gonna come out eventually, anyways.”

 Renji’s presence was finally acknowledged by his captain looking at him in a way that made him very fearful of losing a good number of things attached to his body. “What does he mean by that?” Byakuya asked Rukia sharply while eyeing Renji’s uncharacteristically bared forehead with a mixture of suspicion and disapproval.

 Reassured by Renji’s prompting, Rukia took a deep breath and adjusted herself off the pillow to sit up straight to answer her brother. “Nii-sama…” she began, confidently as possible. Her voice held steady as she glanced at Renji, who gave her the most encouraging smile he could muster despite growing increasingly tense and more fidgety with each passing second. “It appears I am…with child.” Having said that, she looked back at Byakuya a little more reluctantly and bit her lip, a slight flush coming back to her colorless cheeks.

 Byakuya stilled. Slowly, his scrutinizing gaze left Renji and settled on his sister. Then for the first time that Renji could recall since the day he met him, his captain’s face softened completely and a tiny flicker of something akin to joy shone in his eyes. “You are with child?” he repeated in a hushed voice.

 If they’d been waiting for a sign from the universe, that was definitely it. At those four small words, all the tension in Renji’s shoulders instantly slid right off and evaporated into nothing. He knew by the small sigh Rukia let out that she had fully relaxed as well. The air itself even felt easier to breathe and move about in.

 It was apparent that, much like when they first got engaged, the majority of their anxieties had stemmed from the uncertainty of how Byakuya would take the news. But with that heartfelt response (for him at least), once again, they realized they had worried for naught. Of course he would be elated, even proud. True, the baby wouldn’t carry on the Kuchiki name, but seeing his beloved younger sister and trusted subordinate, whose union he had wholeheartedly (though somewhat ambiguously) blessed, content and thriving to the point of producing a child would certainly bring him at least some happiness.

 Now that the mental blockades barricading in their own feelings were lifted, nothing was left suppress them and they swiftly spilled over.

 “Yes.” Rukia looked back at Renji, her eyes starting to fill with moisture. From the pricking sensation in his own, Renji suspected he was on the verge of tearing up as well. “Renji and I…we’re having a baby,” she declared, her thumb absentmindedly caressing his knuckles. Excitement radiated from her, warm and bright, and it filled him completely until he felt like he would burst.

 Forgetting his captain, forgetting all the fear and worry that overtook them at first, forgetting Rukia had spent the morning throwing up, Renji leaned forward with a choking sob of a laugh and kissed her fiercely with everything he had. He couldn’t help himself. He had never loved her more than he did right at that moment.

 They became a family born from friendship as children, and now, as a man and woman united in love, they were creating an entirely new one. Everything in their lives, every hardship they’d endured and obstacle they’d faced and overcome, had led to this one thing: A single precious entity brought into existence by the bonds they shared.

 Rukia initially baulked in surprise at the action but soon let go of his hand and returned it with full fervor. Adoration, heartache, joy, pain, gratitude. All those feelings and more, they poured into that one kiss. Words alone could never be enough.

 “Ahem.”

 Renji started and broke away from Rukia with a wet smack! They both turned towards the source of the cough with eyes half-lidded and hands still tangled through each other’s tresses.

 Byakuya stood awkwardly over them, shoulders rigid and eyes deliberately averted.

 “I believe…I am needed elsewhere,” he told them flatly, still refusing to grace them with his gaze, “Rukia, see to it you get your rest. Renji…” his eyes closed and his voice dropped slightly in warning, “…make sure you don’t disturb her.” Without further ado, Byakuya turned on his heel with a quiet “Congratulations” and headed for the door.

 Renji winced guiltily and let go of Rukia. “Understood, Captain. Thank you.” he replied stiffly with his hands folded obediently in front of him, while a thoroughly reddened Rukia lay back on her pillow with a respectful “Yes, Nii-sama.”

 After Byakuya left the room, however, they were somewhat less compliant.

Author’s Notes: Anything Byakuya does is my second favorite part of WDkALY and now he’s becoming one of my favorite characters to write little snippets for.

Normally I’m not one for featuring non-canon characters but Hanataro just didn’t quite fit in the role of someone Renji would have any sort of affectionate mentor/parent-like feelings towards so the messenger ended up being some random 4th Division newbie. We don’t know her name though because Renji forgot to ask. lol

Also remember how I mentioned in the notes for Part II that this title is like a mega pun? Go look up all the meanings of “issue” and you’ll see what I’m talking about. XD

Continued in [PART V- THE DENIAL]