#it can't be good for me to have such a fast heartrate all the time

[sapphicautistic]

i just for the millionth time had the realization ''oh maybe the worse than usual multi day headache and the worse than usual nausea that both started around the same time are connected somehow'' 🤔🤔🤔

[dolladooley]

the dooley davenports x black!reader | general hcs

contains: adam, bree, chase, leo

a/n: this will get zero notes but idc i am pioneering ts for lab rats. gif credit goes to him (me. bc i am him.) 💯

adam

i have always been very loud about my belief that adam marries a black woman or man in the future

and i mean LOUD

he 100% does

the first time he meets u he's like woah

prettay

he likes watching how your hair bounces as you descend the stairs or even just walking on flat ground

he likes how u speak to him

you call everyone lil nicknames so whenever u say "baby" he's like 😃

u help him with school stuff

bc you smart 💯

okayyyy scholar 😍😍😍

sorry

anyway

he loves seeing u

you anchor him

keep him from doing ridiculous shit that can get him hurt yk

turn into ur mom fr

he fidgets with his fingers a lot so he be playing in your hair

gently pulling strands so they spring back and wrapping em around his finger (ESPECIALLY when they're freshly moisturized and wet)

y'all are just saur cute to see

he's a big hugger so he rests his cheek against ur head and ur lil curls tickle him

and bonus points if you're significantly shorter than him

it's an adorable image when u hold hands

bc ur this lil person that is clearly able to easily escape restraint and u got ur tall white boy that's a lil dumb but happy to be here with u nonetheless

i love adam lawd

bree

bisexual queen

anyway

u guys become friends very quick

she complimented ur jewelry (a lil gold necklace) and u were like "aw thanks gang"

and from that u sparked a conversation and became very good friends very fast

she introduced u to her brothers, allat

u guys meet in the library every morning or u go to the nearby coffee shop before school starts

get some polite lil drinks and just.. talk :)

if you guys were to pack ur own lunches every day, y'all would do snack trades a lot

you defend her a lot against her brothers 💀

the first time you said "boy shut up" to chase she got hearts in her eyes fr /hj

when she realizes she might have a lil crush, she doesn't act too strange but she is a little bit different

she hugs for a little longer than normal, just to enjoy the scent of ur moisturizer and ur hair products

when y'all have sleepovers she always cuddles close

she loves to cook with u

u show her recipes you got from ya mama and she enjoys them every time

she stares at ur lips when u eat

and talk

and

do anything at all

they are very kissable what can she say

chase

lord.

he's infatuated

INFATUATED

he only knew leo so he had no idea black ppl could be so fine /j

the first time he sees you, a little notification in his eyebawl goes off like "heartrate rising. entering cooldown." and it's SO LOUD to him

turns out you and leo are already friends

which is NOT helpful

because now whenever you're at the house he's frantic as hell

either trying to interact with you (extremely awkwardly) or hiding in the lab so he doesn't embarrass himself further

bree would come down like "just go talk to them loser" and he's like "I CAN'T 😭😭😭😭😭😭"

when she finally forces him to quit being a punk and at least say hi, he comes upstairs to see u looking out at the view

the sun shining through their big ass windows glows gold on your skin and to him you look like a god

he flees /hj

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO ACT

he eventually pulls himself together and soon feels like a fool

because talking to you is SO EASY ?

you exude a charm he has never seen heard or experienced from anyone else before

the way u speak to him makes him melt

that being said never call him a pet name

ever

a simple "sugar" or even just "baby" will make him overheat and shut down

leo

i'm already laffing

y'all are funny as SHIT

you were classmates before the davenports came in but you weren't really friends until after they did

you helped leo show them around the school and the two of you cracked plenty of jokes along the tour

many that the bionic trio did not understand LMFAOO

you two are so fun together and everyone can see it, even the trio who be fighting for they lives whenever y'all are speaking to each other /j

leo probably tells u ab the whole bionic secret after you witness one too many close calls and the way you handle it makes his baby crush grow exponentially

like YOURE SO COOL???? DIDNT EVEN BLINK AT THIS ABSURD ASS PIECE OF INFORMATION???? GOD THEYRE COOL AS FUCK

you guys share hair information and you bring home hotel shampoo's for y'all to share LMFAO

he let you give him waves once

it was comedic

tasha loves you

she didn't know you for a while because leo never brought you up when y'all were just classmates but after y'all became actual friends, you'd get mentioned here and there

the first time he has you come over is to work on a school project

she meets you and is like omg hai i'm leo's mom

and he's kinda like 😐 pushing her away like he did in the avalanche episode with janelle LMFAO

you like "why you so mean to yo mama" and it makes him sweat /j

you like tasha too and you guys often have tea together when leo is late for y'all's lil hangouts

she gasses you up to leo all the time like he didn't know you first

"your friend, [name]? they're cute!!!" "i know mom" "go ahead and ask that out" "MOM"

he eventually does (it was actually you but he tells tasha it was him)

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

Just cuddles and kisses

Established Minho x ace!fem!reader

Set during tmr (movieverse)

Summary: Minho and reader just started dating, and she's a little worried about being ace (dw it all works out in the end)

Note: this fic is technically a continuation of Classic, but it can also be read as a standalone. Classic was initially in the same post as this, but I separated the parts to make them shorter

Warnings: internalised aphobia?? not really but just in case, language (Glader slang)

You've been dating Minho for a while now, and it's a long time before you have to address... it. As happy as you are, you're pretty nervous about having a relationship with Minho.

While you haven't really gone 'public' yet, you know that it's only a matter of time before the other Gladers find out.

When that happens, there's gonna discussions about your relationship and invasive questions and ugh, you just don't want to deal with it.

You're mainly scared for the bolder Gladers to ask about being physical. Minho hasn't said anything about sex yet, but the topic has got to come up sooner or later, and you stress yourself out at night waiting for that conversation.

You've known for a while that sex is... completely off the table for you, and you're scared that he'll want to leave you because of that. You know Minho isn't the type of guy to make a big deal out of it, and he'll be really nice about it at least for the first bit. But after a while, you're sure that having a sexless relationship will get old real fast.

You confided in Newt about it once, and he advised you to just talk it out with Minho.

That's easier said than done, though. You know that, respectful as he is, Minho is still a teenage boy with teenage hormones in a Glade where you're the only girl.

Plus, you already know that he's just holding back for you. He's pulled away from making out on multiple occasions because of a problem... further south, and you know that he's waiting for you to be ready.

He's being patient, and it's great, but the issue is that you'll never be ready. For you, sex is something you neither need nor want.

It's been alright so far, since you've just ignored the problem and kept the relationship limited to the kisses and little dates you manage to pull together in such a restricted space.

But, it all comes to a head one day when you're spending a late night in the Runners hut.

When you've both gotten tired of poring over the maps, Minho starts leaning in to drop light kisses around your face. You giggle as his lips brush against your jawline.

You love it when he does that, because it gives you a heads up that you're probably gonna be making out soon. And he's not even doing it with that intention, it's just a cute thing he does when he's bored with work.

You turn to him, forgoing the maps as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in to deepen the kiss.

That's when things start to get a little too heated, and it all goes to shit.

He's moving his hands around more than usual, and he's brushing over your ass and chest in a way that may or may not be intentional; you can't really tell.

Either way, you're hyperaware of every point of contact, and it starts to be too much. You can feel your heartrate speeding up, not in the good way, and-

"Y/n." Minho breaks away from the kiss and gently cups your face with a hand. "Hey, you with me?"

You nod and give him a smile, leaning in again, but he pulls back. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

"Ohh. Is this about... being physical?" he realises. "Listen, we can take as much time as-"

You back away, shaking your head. "I don't-" Your voice catches as you try to speak, and your vision starts to blur. Shuck, now you're crying.

You tilt your head up, staring at the roof as you blink rapidly.

"Y/n, hey. Just come and sit." You let him guide you to the table. "Talk to me, please."

You take a deep breath... and still no words come out. You close your eyes, processing your thoughts first before speaking.

"I don't... want sex." You meet his eyes as you tell him the truth. "As in; ever. I just- it's not an option for me. The thought of having sex, doing anything sexual at all, and just, all that kind of stuff happening to me... it makes me feel sick. I just- I can't."

"Oh," says Minho. "Alright. Okay. That's fine."

"Minho..."

"No, I'm serious. Listen, it's okay."

"How can it be okay? You want sex. I can feel it, when we're together."

"How can you feel it? What, do I just look at you with sex eyes? Because I promise-"

"No, I feel it. Against my hip."

"Oh." Minho's face reddens considerably, and he lets out an awkward laugh. "Okay, well. That's a me problem. I can- I can deal."

"I just- Minho. I know how important that kind of intimacy is to people. What if we stay together, and you're never satisfied? What if I'm not enough for this relationship?"

Minho lets out a stunned breath. "Not enough? Y/n, you are everything, my whole world. Every day I wake up and I get to see your smile. I get to run with you, and laugh with you. I get to be with you. You think not having sex is gonna break all that?"

"But sex is..."

He shakes his head. "Maybe I've been doing a shitty job then, if you really think you wouldn't be enough without sex."

"Y/n." He takes your hands and looks you in the eye. "I love you. And I realise we haven't said that, but I think now's as good a time as any for you to know. I love you, and this isn't gonna change anything."

You give him a watery smile. "I love you too. But it's still-"

"Okay. Full disclosure, I can take care of myself. Most guys here are taking care of themselves. Someone probably is, like, right now."

At your wrinkled nose and mildly grossed-out expression, he winces. "Right. Let's set some boundaries. No talking about sex?"

"Um, talking about sex in general is usually okay. Sex jokes are actually pretty shuckin' funny sometimes. But the way you did it just then was... I don't know. Icky?"

"Okay, sure. Talk about it normally unless you're uncomfortable. Easy. What about with us? Where should I avoid when we're- Shit, do you hate kissing too? God, I'm so sorry." He looks at you worriedly. "Shuck, Y/n. We've been making out like, every day. You should've told me earlier. I'm so-"

"Minho, no, don't worry about that, it's okay. I actually... love kissing. Kissing you, I mean." You duck your head, blushing slightly. "Making out is fun most times too, but some days it's a lot. Tongues and stuff are... overwhelming sometimes. It depends on the day."

"Make sure you let me know, okay? Promise me."

"I promise," you say, smiling. "And with touching... normal contact is fine. It's good, actually. I love cuddling, and when you pull me in by the waist. And everything else too. I'll tell you if anything is bad."

"Okay." He reaches out to take your hand. "So we're all good?"

"We're all good."

"I love you."

You pull him closer by his shirt, and he melts against you as you kiss him.

"Love you too."

⭒----⭒

"Ooh, Y/n and Minho spent the night together," sings Ben when you walk out of the hut and move to the dining area. Keepers have their own huts, so you'd slept in Minho's that night.

You let out a laugh at what he's implying and grin at Newt's knowing smile.

You feel arms wrap around your waist as Minho walks up behind you. He presses a kiss on the top of your head and moves to get food.

When he returns, he hands you a plate of food, complete with your favourite fruits from the gardens, and slides into the seat next to you.

"Fuck," he hisses as he bumps his leg on the bench.

"Fuck indeed," says Ben with a shit-eating grin.

You snort. "Slim it, Ben." Newt rolls his eyes on your behalf.

"Well, how was it?" asks another boy, leaning in interestedly.

"A gentleman doesn't tell," comments Minho, pointing dramatically. "What happens behind closed doors..."

"So he was shit, wasn't he," says Ben to you.

You shrug. "Well, I'm very satisfied from last night."

You laugh at their supportive and slightly lewd cheers.

As Minho meets your eyes with a smile, you think back to last night.

You'd exchanged soft kisses and cuddled until you fell asleep wrapped up in his arms.

"Yeah, see? I'm fantastic in bed."

This is so lame idk how to end a fic besides 'i love you' like please be more imaginative

Edit: added a silly little scene at the end so it doesn't just end with ily

Anyways, thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed this one - another self-indulgent idea I needed to put out.

I want to note that for the depiction of asexuality and ace x non-ace couples, I'm writing based on my own experiences and what I would want in a relationship with a non-ace person. Everyone is different, and there's a whole ace spectrum of people who may not relate to all of this.

Requests are open as always, so if you have any ideas feel free to send an ask ❤

[bitter-sweet-farmgirl]

Bard's Zahar

Chapter 40 of ‘A Deep Misunderstanding’.  Link to Series Masterlist. Also find it over on A03!

MASTERLIST

OC(s) Used: Estel

Translation(s): Bard's Zahar: Bard's House

Khakhafê: My ass

~~

Um....Long time no see? I legitimately can't remember the last time I posted here on Tumblr. (Probably like 2 years ago or something). Anyways, life is slightly less busy for me now as I wrap up my final semester in college before I'm student teaching, and like 3 weeks ago I reread ADM, started editing it, and actually got inspired to write it again after like 2 years of not touching it. This thing is literally like 5 years old. But the bones are still solid and I hope 2025 sees me actually finish this thing once and for all. Anyways, enjoy this chapter that I finally finished off after having it sit for a few years!

~~

I watched, teeth chattering loudly, as Dwalin disappeared under the murky water.  The rest of us waited our turns in the icy depths, all wishing that there were other options.  I mean, truly, how humiliating was it to come up through the toilet?

A gust of wind blew over us and sent chills down my spine, prompting my nervous system to launch an involuntary shiver through my body.  Merciful Manwë, my nipples felt like they were going to burst out of my blouse, it was so cold!

My only comfort was that everyone else seemed to feel the same way.  As we had entered the bitter cold water, each dwarrow had made their discomfort very obvious.  There had been more than one muttered conversation about switching to a different gender.

The water lapped uncomfortably at my chin, and I nervously shifted my weight.  I clung tightly to the hem of Thorin’s shirt, afraid to let go lest I fall and not be able to get back up.

“Are you sure there isn’t any other way?”  I asked again, and Thorin turned to look down at me.  His hair, just beginning to dry from our trip in the barrels, fell into his face, causing him to raise a hand to brush it back.

“Unfortunately not, Estel,” he murmured, glancing over as Ori vanished beneath the water.  I suddenly became aware of just how fast my heart was beating; like it was about to pound out of my chest.

I took a deep breath, trying to slow my accelerated heartrate.  “You know, I don’t think I can do it.  I’ll just take my chances…”  I began to mutter breathlessly, biting my lip.

Thorin reached out a hand to gently squeeze my shoulder, his eyes soft.  “You’ll be fine, my love.  I’ll be right behind you.  Just breathe, okay?”  He said reassuringly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.  “Now, let’s go.”

He pushed me forward and a cavern opened up in the pit of my stomach, sucking my pounding heart down into it as I realized that it was my turn.

“No, I really don’t want to do it.”  I whispered, staring up at Thorin beseechingly.  “There has to be some other way.”

“Estel,” Thorin’s voice hardened, “you have to do it.  I know you can.”  He disentangled my fingers from the hem of his tunic even as I clung desperately to him. 

“Thorin—” The ominous shortness of breath returned.

“Estel, I will push you under the water if I have to.  You have to go, now.”  Thorin commanded, his voice harsh.  I stared up at him in disbelief.  It had been a very long time since he had used that gruff tone around me, and I had forgotten just how it sent chills down my spine.  And not in a good way.

That and the threat of being forced beneath the water was frightening enough for me to swallow hard and try and get a grip on my thoughts.  Taking a deep breath, I plunged beneath the surface of the water.

The chill that bit straight through my body and into my very marrow almost had me opening my mouth to let out a gasp. 

Blindly, I swam forward, reaching to find the wooden posts that made up the foundation of Bard’s house.  With each second that passed by and I still hadn’t touched anything other than water, my heart began to pound again.

Just as I thought I was going to have to surface to snatch a gasp of air, my fingers brushed against a slimy, thing.  Flinching at the disgusting feeling of the slick, icky algae, I hesitantly reached back out to grab hold of the post and pulled myself up.

The next second, my head broke through the surface of the water and I eagerly filled my burning lungs with great gulps of air. 

Forget that I was coming up out of someone’s toilet, I was just glad to have a breath of—

I was suddenly hoisted up into the air as something solid rammed up against my thighs.  Letting out a shriek of surprise, I grasped wildly for something to hang onto.  The closest thing in reach was the head of dark hair that had sprouted between my legs.

I clung tightly to the wet strands of hair, causing whoever had surfaced beneath me (and was now carrying me on their shoulders) to let out a growl of pain.

“LET GO!”  They hissed, grabbing onto my legs to hold me steady.  “Get off!”  His snarls trailed off into angry sputters as my weight forced him back into the water.

Oh, it was Thorin.  He had said that he would be right behind me, hadn’t he? 

“Here,” a dark-haired lad reached out to grab my arm and help me clamber over the side of the toilet.  I collapsed on the floor as soon as I was free of the watery death-trap, legs numb from the anesthetizing effects of the frigid water. 

Thorin more or less crawled out of the toilet, just in time before Bofur popped up right behind him, sputtering.  Had I not been half-frozen and slightly shell-shocked, I would have taken the time to appreciate just how hilarious it would have been to see Thorin settled on Bofur’s shoulders.

Truly it was a once in a lifetime chance.

Propping himself up on hands and knees, Thorin took a moment to catch his breath before looking up into my wide eyes through dripping obsidian locks.  “I apologize for my harsh words, Estel.  You had quite the grip on my hair.”  He said breathlessly, and I shook my head.

“You did scare me, lifting me up like that.  I thought you were some sort of sea monster, to tell the truth.  But you had every right to yell at me for yanking your hair.”  I explained, causing Thorin to grin and chuckle.

“Me?  A sea monster?”  He laughed, pushing himself up off the floor and offering me his hand.  “Where did you ever get that idea?”  He pulled me to my feet and wrapped an arm around my waist, guiding me out of the bathroom and into Bard’s house.

I pursed my lips, “oh, probably around the time I touched the slimy post and realized that there just might be fish in these waters.”  I gave him a side eye.  “But I don’t think I have any need of fishing.  Not after I have obviously caught the best catch of the day.”  I murmured.

Thorin grinned broadly, shaking his head.  “You are a witty one, amrâlimê.  I do not know how I didn’t catch it before.” 

“Me?  Witty?” 

A devious smirk began to wind its way across Thorin’s bearded cheeks, overtaking the grin.  “Yes, Estel.  You have quite the way with words.  May I bring your attention to “khakhafê’?”  He murmured quietly in my ear so the others didn’t hear.

The blood that had seemed to be basically nonexistent before, now rose in my cheeks at the memory of that conversation.  “Okay, okay, I get the point.”  I hurriedly to say before Thorin could continue on.

Bard strode into the room with an armful of clothes.  Dumping them out on the table, he took a step back as the rest of the company swarmed around it.  “They may not be the best fit, but they’ll keep you warm,” he promised.

Hovering on the outskirts of the jostling mass of dwarves, I stood on my tiptoes in an attempt to see what was available.  Even if only a shirt was available I wouldn’t complain.  I just wanted to be out of my sopping clothes. 

Thorin, never the most patient dwarrow, proceeded to elbow his way to the clothes.  Vaguely I wondered what it would be like to have such confidence in your strength.  Manwë knew that I would just be squashed into jelly if I tried that move.

“Here,” Thorin emerged from the slowly dispersing crowd, holding out a red shirt that looked to be much too large for me. 

Like, the neckline would hang halfway down my chest large. 

“I’ve got something for you, miss.”  Bard’s voice sounded behind me and I turned to look at him and the clothing he was holding out to me. 

Thorin huffed behind me. 

I took the offered clothing, trying not to frown at the sight of the faded grey pinafore and cream shirt.  The last thing I wanted to wear was a dress.  But if this was all that was offered, then I would just have to suck it up.

“Thank you, Bard.”  I murmured quietly, trying to disguise the distaste in my voice.  “Do you have someplace I could change?” 

He nodded, “aye.  Tilda!” 

A young girl in a blue pinafore appeared, looking expectantly up at Bard.  “Yes, Da?”  She asked, and Bard pointed to me.

“Can you show her to your room so she can change?” 

Tilda nodded, looking over at me curiously.  I didn’t blame her; we were both the same height but far over a century apart in age.  “This way,” she motioned, walking quickly to a staircase.  “It’s the door to the left of the painting.”

I smiled at her, “thank you—”  I stumbled over the last word as my eyes flickered behind Tilda to rest on the brooding expression of the obsidian-haired dwarrow. 

Turning, I walked up the rickety staircase; each footstep eliciting a groan from the warped wood.  Behind me, I could hear Thorin’s heavy steps garnering the same result.

Arriving on the landing, I looked up at the painting Tilda said I would find.  It was of a man and a woman sitting next to each other, wearing slight smiles. 

“What is so interesting?”  Thorin asked, standing beside me.  “It is only a painting.”

I blinked rapidly a few times.  “It’s not just a painting, Thorin.  It’s a memory.”  I whispered, twisting my head in time to see Thorin’s brow crease.

“What do you mean, ‘a memory’?” 

“Do you not see the resemblance?  It’s Bard and his wife.  Probably the only picture he has of her.”  I said softly, biting my lip as a lump rose in my throat. 

“Oh.”  Thorin’s voice was quiet as he looked up at the painting with a new interest.

“I should probably change.”  I murmured, tearing my gaze away from the painting and opening the door that lay to its left. 

“I’ll make sure no one walks in on you.”  Thorin promised gruffly, leaning up against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest. 

I couldn’t help the smile that stole across my face.  “Thanks, amrâlimê.”

~~~~~

“You have got to be kidding me.”  I hissed, tugging on the pinafore in vain.  I had harbored suspicions that Tilda might have been a bit smaller than me, and I was not disappointed.

First off, I couldn’t even get the shirt to button.  Second, the pinafore was much too tight across my chest.  If I made just one wrong move, the seams would burst and my stifled breasts would be in full view of anyone in the vicinity.

“This is NOT going to work.”  I pulled the pinafore off with some difficulty and shed the shirt.  Tugging my damp clothes back on, I peeked out the door into the hallway.  “Thorin?”

“Done?”  Thorin asked, pushing himself off the wall.

“Uh, no.”  I said sheepishly.  “The clothes don’t fit.” 

Thorin raised an eyebrow.  “In what way?”

Heat rose in my cheeks.  “None of your business.  Can you just get me something different?”

“On the contrary, as your husband I believe it is my business.”  Thorin teased relentlessly, his blue eyes twinkling.

“Please?”  I begged, “I’m freezing.”

He nodded, turning and heading back down the stairs. 

In a few moments, Thorin returned with Bard’s elder daughter in tow, faded garments slung over one of her arms.  “Sigrid has something that might fit you.”  He said, and the young woman handed me the clothes.

“I don’t think anything of mine would fit you, so I found one of Bain’s old shirts.  It should do.”  She explained, pointing to a dark brown fabric.  “And I found one of my smaller skirts.  It may need a few more inches taken off, but it might fit you.” 

I resisted the urge to make a face at the thought of wearing a skirt. 

“Thank you, I’m sorry for all the trouble.”  I apologized, but the woman just offered me a smile before she disappeared back down the stairs. 

“No trouble at all.” 

I closed the door again, heaving a sigh as I stared down at the clothes. 

Thankfully, Sigrid had been right in her guesses, and Bain’s shirt had fit more or less perfectly.  Sure, it hung past my hips, but you couldn’t tell when I had the dratted skirt on.  Which, speaking of the skirt, I was less than pleased with it.  The hem brushed my shins, which I considered far too long. 

I could just imagine how it would impede me if I had to climb up a mountain or flee from an orc.  With my renowned clumsiness, I was all too certain that I would get my legs tangled within the skirts.

And the faded blue clashed horribly with the brown of the shirt.  While I do admit that fashion was not my highest concern (nor had it ever been) I still found the combination appalling.  I could only imagine what Thorin would think. 

A wistful part of me wondered if he would think I was pretty.  The Valar knew that I had only ever dressed in very masculine clothes around him and didn’t flaunt my curves.  How would he react to seeing me in a skirt?

I couldn’t help but daydream about watching him rake his eyes over me, a little smile—the one I coveted like it was the Arkenstone itself—tugging at the corner of his bearded cheek.  Then he would step up to me and look down into my eyes, now grinning outright as he said:  “you look gorgeous, amrâlimê.”

“Estel?”  A knock sounded on the door and I was unceremoniously removed from my daydream. 

“Almost done,” I called back, doublechecking the knots on my blouse—I didn’t fancy inadvertently showing off my cleavage—before scooping up my damp clothes and walking over to the door. 

Stepping out into the hallway, I carefully closed the door before turning to look at Thorin.  He was absorbed with taking in my new look, an eyebrow slightly raised.  In turn, I noted that he was no longer dressed in his blue tunic and had swapped it for new trousers and a red shirt.  Which looked suspiciously like the one I had rejected earlier. 

“So, what do you think?”  I asked, forcing in a note of nonchalance.  He didn’t need to know about the new, odd desire for my appearance to please him.  Honestly, I was surprised with myself.  Since when had I ever cared about what a man thought of my dress?  I’d spent the past five months traveling with Thorin and hadn’t had the thought cross my mind till now.

Thorin shrugged.  “It suits you.  Although,” his expression turned contemplative, “it isn’t the most practical for climbing a mountain.”

“My thoughts exactly…”  I mumbled.  Why had that little abyss opened up in my chest?  Why was I so hung up on his thoughts on how I looked?

“Come,” Thorin jerked his head in the direction of the staircase.  “The others are waiting downstairs.” 

I followed him down to where the rest of the company was gathered around the single fireplace, dressed in new, mostly ill-fitting clothing. 

Thorin made no move to join them; instead choosing to seat himself next to one of the windows near where Balin was standing. 

The elder dwarf gave me a smile as we joined him.  “Why, Estel, you look rather fetching,” he commented, seeming always to know what I needed to hear. 

“Thanks, Balin.”  I looked over at Thorin to see his reaction, only for him not to even spare a glance in my direction.  “I don’t think the skirt is very practical, but it’s a temporary fix until my clothes dry, I hope.”

My glance at Thorin didn’t go unnoticed by Balin, and he spared a glance over at the dwarrow himself.  “The practicality of something is up to you, Estel.  It might suit a different purpose than what you originally assume.”  He shrugged.

Thorin suddenly straightened, leaning forward to look at something through the window.  “The Dwarvish wind-lance!”  He gasped, drawing our attention to him. 

Bilbo chose that moment to come over, shooting Thorin a look.  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  He commented, and Balin came over to peer out the window.  As he caught sight of what Thorin saw, his face became drawn. 

“He has.  The last time we saw such a weapon the city was on fire.”  His voice was solemn.  “It was the day the dragon came.  The day that Smaug destroyed Dale.”  He spoke of the Black Arrows; dwarf-forged and tough enough to pierce the hide of a dragon. 

Thorin didn’t seem to hear Balin’s words.  He was still gazing out the window, eyes focused on nothing more than memories.  I sidled closer to him, wondering what he saw. 

I knew Thorin had been a young dwarrow the day that Erebor had been taken from his clan.  He’d told me how he’d stood before the gates, waiting for the dragon with his troops at his side.  How out of all the men he commanded, he was the only one to make it out alive. 

It was a burden that no one should have been forced to carry with them.  A responsibility had been placed upon him that day to one day return to Erebor; take it back for his people.  A responsibility that had only grown heavier as his Grandfather and Father fell in battle, leaving him the sole male of his line. 

As I approached, Thorin seemed to return to the present, looking over at Balin before sapphire eyes came to rest on me.

“If the aim of men had been true that day, much would’ve been different.”  He spoke, and the weight of the years rested on those words.  His anger at the loss of his home.  His sorrow over the thousands of lives lost.  But there was also a thoughtfulness to it.  What good things would not have occurred? 

“You speak as if you were there.”  Bard’s voice sounded curiously from behind Balin.  The man stood, brow furrowed in question. 

“All dwarves know the tale.”  Thorin rumbled, returning his gaze back to the window. 

“I didn’t.”  I couldn’t help but mutter quiet enough that the man couldn’t hear. 

Thorin huffed a short laugh.  “All dwarves but you, then.”  A small smile played across his face.  “If you don’t know that story, then I must be failing as your teacher.” 

“It’s a story about how your people were slaughtered and your whole world was flipped upside down.  I don’t expect it to be one you enjoy sharing.” 

~~~~

Somehow, it didn’t even shock me that the dwarves would take offence at the weapons that Bard offered them.  All because they weren’t solid iron.  As if they wouldn’t work just as well.

The thought had me rolling my eyes, leaning back against the wall with my arms crossed as I watched their argument from a distance. 

“What is your name?”  A curious voice piped up suddenly, and I jumped, looking over at the young girl who had sprouted beside me. 

She looked to be no more than 10 years old, but was already as tall as me.  Seeing my surprise, she was apologetic.  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.  I just was curious.”

“I just didn’t hear you coming.  I get surprised rather easily, I’m afraid.”  I smiled gently, “and my name is Estel.  What’s yours?”  I recognized her as the young girl who had showed me to her room to change, but wanted to keep the conversation going.

The girl brightened.  “That’s a pretty name!  I’m Tilda.  How did you get your hair to look like that?” 

Now I couldn’t help smiling at the girl’s innocent questions.  “My husband did it for me.  I could never do anything as intricate.”  Which was true.  Thorin had spent quite a bit of time creating the interwoven braids.

Tilda gasped softly.  “Do you think he would teach Sigrid?  I’d like to have braids as pretty as yours.” 

I laughed, wondering how Thorin would react to the young girl asking her to braid her hair like mine.  To replicate the intricate style that represented his proposal of marriage and my acceptance.  “He may, I will have to ask him.”  Perhaps he could teach her something harmless.

“I’ll go ask Sigrid if she’ll learn.”  Tilda grinned, running off to go find her older sister. 

“That’s sweet.”  I murmured to myself, still smiling. 

“What is sweet?”  Thorin came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle. 

“Nothing.  You’ve just got an admirer.”  I grinned, tilting my head back to look up at him.  “Tilda was asking if you’d braid her hair like mine.”

Thorin chuckled softly.  “What would my wife think of me proposing to another woman?” 

“I figured you might just teach her something harmless.  She doesn’t know what it means.  She’s just a little girl and though it was pretty.”

Thorin nuzzled my neck, beard scratching against my skin.  “I think it is much more than just ‘pretty’, amrâlimê.” 

“Of course.  Now, have you all figured out whether or not you’re going to lower yourselves to using Bard’s weapons?”  I gently pulled away from Thorin, mindful of just how many watching eyes there were.

Reluctantly, he allowed me to turn to face him, his hands sliding down to grasp mine.  “We’re going to raid the armory tonight.  Those ‘weapons’, “he sneered the word, “will do us no good.  We need real iron.” 

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[jezunya]

Thank you everyone for the tips!

I feel like I need to clarify tho: I don't have a POTS diagnosis (yet? Who knows), I have EDS that causes some POTS-like symptoms. Previously that was fast heartrate and a tendency towards low bp & low sodium levels. With the trazodone addition, I've been experiencing the postural part of POTS more than ever before, but what's been really debilitating is the constant sodium level droppage and resulting bp drop, even when I've not been doing anything strenuous/sweaty

My findings so far, after several weeks of this:

Salt. Just salt in everything, salt in my flavored water, salt in my coffee, salt eaten directly from the palm of my hand, salty snacks to nibble on non-stop all day. I do generally like salty things, but I admit I'm getting tired of/overstimulated by the sharp flavor

Yes, I said coffee. I have really bad fatigue both from my chronic pain and from my chronic (as in, since childhood!) insomnia, which is what the trazodone was rxed for. But yeah so, I live on caffeine all day every day, but luckily salt can be hidden in coffee (or other flavored drinks) pretty easily, and also caffeine helps with the low bp issue. I don't have any other heart issues (and boy, have I been checked for them. Pre-EDS-dx dislocating a rib can be mistaken for a heart attack! At least until multiple EKGs come back normal). But anyway: flavor + caffeine + salt seems to work well for me

My FAVORITE solution so far tho is a banana and coffee (and salt) smoothie! Bananas are great for a lot of electrolytes, especially potassium, and being able to sip on a drink with banana in it helps spread that benefit out over time rather than just feeling good for a little while right after I ate a banana. Also we are just entering Hot As Fuck Outside season here, so smoothies are a win

This post by @salt-baby is a gold mine of vocabulary about medications that I am going to work hard to memorize (or just print out and take with me) for future dr appointments

I've been feeling very [Charlie Day with a yarn-covered conspiracy theory board*] about my health lately, where I don't know what's causing what or which thing might be masking the root cause of another thing… But this has been extremely helpful getting suggestions from others dealing with similar things, so thank you again, everyone!

*the meme in question, if you can't visualize it:

Anyone with experience taking trazadone (and/or with POTS)

Do you have tips on handling lightheadedness? I don't mean occasional dizziness when getting up, but like I've been sitting here all day, feeling fuzzy and dizzy and vaguely nauseous even when unmoving

My doctor added 25mg of trazadone at bedtime to my meds a few weeks ago, and it was okay at first, but the lightheadedness is getting out of hand. I'm trying to eat salt and drink electrolytes and plenty of water, but I can't seem to get ahead of this now

Any tips from other spoonies, dietary or otherwise, would be much appreciated

[radley-rambles]

I hope this isn't rude or presumptive, but I'd love to know what it's like when you faint. I am writing a character who faints regularly and would love to be able to describe it properly! No pressure to answer though. If this is any way a bad thing to ask, I apologise.

Ahhhh, a lot of it's in the tone! I don't mind being asked so long as you respect the fact that I might not answer, because at the end of the day, this is my personal medical stuff.

I appreciate that you were polite about it, and please don't worry - I'm not offended. But I might have been if this was asked differently - so, you did good. <3

As it's a high humidity day and I have fallen over 6 times today............. lmao I'm well placed to answer!

So: let's go from the top.

I stand up after having been sat for a while. Or I've been standing for too long, or I've exerised a bit too hard, or it's just a hot day, or I've just been on a rollercoaster.... You get the idea.

My heart starts pounding. I can feel my super-fast pulse everywhere: in my throat, in my chest - but especially in my head and ears. My head feels like it's throbbing with pain; my mind starts moving thick as molasses. My vision goes black and spiky and flashy all at the same time. My chest locks up, my joints buckle, my muscles limpen - I can literally feel the strength drain away, even as I try instinctually to fight it.

This happens over the course of five to ten seconds, typically within a minute of standing.

On good days, at this point, I can squeeze my calves and thighs REALLY FUCKING HARD - that's the bonus of having a solid muscle mass lmao - and force blood back to where it's supposed to be. Otherwise, I can catch myself on a wall in time and lean there for a minute, until it passes.

On bad days, it hits too fast and too strong, and next moment, I'm on the floor.

I can't see and I can't hear and everything feels like it's going really slow. I can't talk or I muddle my words. I often get a splitting headache, though it goes away relatively quickly.

But I am still aware, vaguely, of my surroundings. I still have fully functional emotions - mostly aggravation, nowadays, lol. There's very little panic involved, just because this happens multiple times a day sometimes. However, I cannot handle any complex thought or muscle control - I couldn't, say, carry on a conversation or a train of thought.

I'm lucky in that I rarely fully lose consciousness. It does happen - and obviously, more in summer - but it’s more of a monthly basis than a daily one. Even then, I'm fully OUT-out only for a couple of seconds, though I then remain disorientated for quite a while after.

On a daily basis, collapsing just renders me mildly disorientated, unable to talk, stand, see, hear, balance, or comprehend anything for a short while. I regain these functions slowly. Hearing typically comes back first. Sight swims hazily back, though it remains staticky for quite a while. I'm able to tell what's up and down again. Then I regain muscle control, balance and strength to the point where I can support myself.

Often, talking is the last thing to come back. I slur my words or stutter if I try to talk, or it comes out a bit nonsensical. My thought processes feel veeeeeery slow and swimmy while everything settles.

Then, typically within one-to-five minutes I'm back to normal and  - minus a rapid heartrate and residual dizziness & weakness - totally fine and able to go about my day!

The best thing, for me, is for other people to leave me to it. Don’t fuss and flap, be patient, and let me get back on my feet at my own pace. Definitely don't try and help me up - you might go too fast, and if I'm still not ready to stand, I might fall again. Just let me figure it out.

My family are amazing because they don't make any fuss at all - they'll wait for me to stand up, check I'm good, and launch right back into whatever we were talking about beforehand.

Obviously, this is a personal experience. Everyone with a similar problem will probably experience it in subtly different ways.

Hope that helps!

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Spoilers: Futility 4x22

Trigger warnings: references to sexual assault and murder, angry sex, biting, marking

Evocations: XIII

Going through the motions and the paperwork after finding Gardner dead in Erin Goss' living room seemed to take a long, long time. When Olivia finally let herself into the apartment, it was so late that Sky High didn't even budge from the sofa when the door clicked open and then softly shut.

But Alex was still up. Noises drifting out of the kitchen drew Liv in that direction, where she found the blonde amid a disastrous mess of baking supplies. Open cannisters, boxes and bags were everywhere; flour, drips of mixtures, dropped chocolate chips, and empty egg shells ran from one end of the island to the other.

Alexandra baked when she was angry.

That was fine by Olivia, as they both had plenty to be angry about. The Gardner case had been a thorn in their side right from the beginning, and now it had ended less than optimally - to say the least. A rapist was dead but dead wasn't exactly justice, and none of them really believed that Erin had been defending herself.

Luck had been on Alex and Olivia's sides in the two years they had been together, in that they hadn't gone to the mat over cases very often. It was often commented on by those who knew they were together, how unusual this was.

"He's dead," Liv said flatly.

"So I heard," Alexandra replied, hands on her hips as she blew a section of blonde hair off her forehead.

Five rapes, three indictments dismissed, now a murder, and the perpetrator was dead. They were going to the mat this time, and they both knew it. Had known it since Alex had blown up over Gardner's motion to call Bethany to the stand. Very little of it was about pride; it was about the futility of it, of all the energy expended trying to protect the women, only to have things fall apart. Both women felt impotent, everything they had tried having only resulted in further complications.

"She was sleeping with him," Liv added.

Alex snorted, wiping her hands on her apron. "Well that was obvious."

The oven timer went off, and Alex slipped on oven mitts, yanking a tray of cookies out. Sighing, Olivia slumped into one of the bar chairs at the island.

"We never should have had Carrie waive her privacy," Alex tossed out.

"So the jury could have deadlocked over the ID? It still would have given him the chance to run and kill that woman."

"That woman would still be alive if we had done our jobs!" Alex slammed a spatula against the counter, every inch of her tall body wound tight with anger and inexpressible sadness.

"We did do our jobs!"

It wasn't that Olivia didn't understand; just two nights before she had been singing the same tune to Elliot, about the fine line between doing the right thing, and doing too many right things. There was just no soft place to land when they were both feeling like this.

"I can't do this anymore," Alexandra said tersely. Liv stilled in her seat, her heartrate leaping. "It's bad enough that I never know when you're going to come home with bruises from some predator attacking you. If I can't get justice for the victims, I'm failing on both fronts."

"Alex, I can take care of myself."

"Not always."

"Most of the time," Liv insisted. Alexandra made an irritated noise in her throat and flipped pages in her cookbook angrily. "If you want to drop SVU, nobody's stopping you," Olivia told her then, taking a page from Elliot's book.

Alex scoffed openly at that.

Liv rose from her chair and rounded the corner of the island counter. "Hey, it's true! Just because you're the best ADA that the unit has ever had, doesn't mean you can't move on. But I know exactly what I signed up for - and the bottom line is, a lot of the time this job is hell. That's not going to change."

The truth of the statement hung in the air between them.

"You don't get it, do you?!" Alex snapped, stepping up to the brunette, their sparking, angry gazes meeting. "I see what this job does to you - to us - and I can't lose you. I can't."

Alex's hand grabbed Liv's forearm, fingertips biting into the skin with the force of fear and guilt and anger. Worse, though, was that Olivia did understand; she knew exactly what the pressures of their jobs was doing to their relationship. It kept her awake some nights, wondering how long they could both sustain things.

Liv put her hand over Alex's and attempted to pry the fingers away, which resulted only in Alex's other hand, locking onto her bicep and pushing her hard against the counter.

"Alex," Liv warned, but it was obvious from the blonde's stormy gaze that it wasn't going to do any good.

Alex tightened her grip so that Olivia couldn't raise her arms, and leaned in, dragging frustrated kisses along the lines of the brunette's throat. The kisses included plenty of teeth, nipping and scraping the skin, leaving red marks in their wake.

Liv struggled under the weight of Alex's body pushing her, both women breathing angrily and fast. "For fuck sake, Alex!"

The blonde sank her hands into Liv's short dark hair and pulled, dragging a hiss from her throat before she clamped a hard kiss onto her mouth. Their fear, and impotence and exhaustion with the case poured into their angry touching, ramping up with every motion.

Olivia yanked at the apron that Alex was still wearing, her hands fighting to untie the strings as Alex tried to keep her pinned. Changing tactics, Liv used her weight against her, pushing forward and away from the island altogether. They stumbled across the space between the counter and the refrigerator, crashing into the appliance and sending magnets clacking to the floor.

Grunting with surprise, Alex steadied herself and fisted the bottom of Olivia's shirt into her hands, tugging it swiftly up over Liv's head and off, shoving her backward. The brunette crashed back against the island where Alex immediately pinned her with another kiss.

Olivia bit into the blonde's bottom lip, and Alex drew back, eyes wide. "Christ!" Blood welled where teeth had cut, and when the kiss began again, Liv sucked it clean.

The apron was finally untied and, Liv's hands slid down Alexandra's back, pulling her sweater up, wrestling to get it off. When it was gone, more biting followed, over the blonde's neck and shoulders until she was slapping Olivia's hands down. Pushing her in her hold, Alex got her turned around so that she was facing the counter.

One hand slid up Liv's back, curling to a stop at her neck, holding her in place while the other hand snaked around Liv's waist to open her pants. They had never really done this - fucked out of anger, out of fear - and it felt dangerous and electric. Alex's hand manoeuvred into Olivia's pants as she struggled, and when she was met with clamped thighs, she brought her knee up to wedge between her legs from behind.

"Fuck you!" Olivia panted.

Alexandra dropped her mouth to the warm skin of Liv's back and bit her there. "That's what I'm doing," she told her evenly. Spreading Olivia open with her long fingers, Alex stroked mercilessly over the swollen clit she found there.

"Fff-agghh!" Liv cried angrily, her forehead against the cool marble of the countertop.

The blonde released her grip long enough to jerk pants and underwear down together, then sank her fingers into Olivia's hair while the other hand stroked at the dripping wet heat of her entrance from behind. Both women growled unintelligibly when Alexandra filled Liv with her fingers.

She was not gentle, nor did Olivia want her to be, as Alex pulled her head back by the hair and fucked into her hard enough to stutter her feet forward on the floor. Liv stretched her arms across the island, fingers slipping on spilled flour and other sticky ingredients.

"You're going to come for me," Alex panted, then groaned at the responding clench of Liv's cunt around her fingers.

"Fuck . . . fuck!" It seemed to be the only working word left in Olivia's vocabulary.

Come she certainly did, screaming with anger, with relief, while trying to thrust into Alex's fingers yet somehow away from them all at once. Before Liv had barely caught her breath, she spun on the tall blonde and grabbed her with both hands, planted on either side of her ribcage.

Trailing remnants of flour and sugar in their wake, Liv shoved her hands beneath the bra Alexandra had on, squeezing her breasts gracelessly, pinching her nipples hard enough to make her hiss in pain. Then Alex's mouth was on Liv's again, her arms encircled her waist and she hoisted her onto the counter.

Olivia sank another bite into the blonde's throat, her hands working to get the bra off. When she succeeded, she raked her nails down Alex's back, getting a roar of lustful anger in response. For the first moment since they'd started, Alex stepped away from her, their eyes still locked like dogs growling through a fence.

She popped the button on her pants, unzipped and shoved her pants off her hips to the floor, kicking out of them. The scratches down her back were hot and stinging as she stepped back up to Olivia and brushed her lips close to her ear.

"Fuck me," she breathed, then bit down on Liv's earlobe.

"Make me," Liv rasped out, shivering as the bite was followed by Alexandra's hot tongue.

"My pleasure." The blonde grabbed one of Liv's wrists and pulled, dragging it low and forcing the fingers to uncurl.

As soon as her fingers made contact with the damp, wiry curls between the blonde's thighs, Olivia's resistance evaporated. Her fingers straightened so Alex could guide them where she wanted them, and where Alex wanted them was deep inside her. Then Liv took over, withdrawing and then sinking her fingers back in to the hilt, over and over again.

The last of their anger and fear burned down as the sound of Liv fucking Alex filled the kitchen, not stopping until the blonde was quaking and dripping and gasping for mercy.

.

.

"Another cookie?" Alex asked quietly.

"Mm, yes please," Liv nodded against Alex's chest.

Alexandra reached across to the plate of cookies that they'd rested on the toilet cover and took one, passing it off to the slippery, wet brunette that was atop her in the hot bath.

They had been there a long while, reheating the water each time it cooled, tending to their bites and scratches, washing off flour and sugar remnants. And, of course, eating cookies.

"Lex?" Olivia mumbled, serene but tired.

"Yes?"

"I promise you won't lose me, as long as I can help it."

Alexandra took a deep breath and combed her fingers through Liv's short, wet tresses. "I know, Babe. I know."

[strongsassysexysloane]

Twelfth day of Twelve - A Finale Worth Waiting For.

A/N - well. I made it. >.< Thank you for all the likes and love. I really did enjoy writing these no matter how tired I have been ( I just slept 11hrs) I hope you enjoy it as much I just did writing it.

Happy Holidays! However you celebrate it or not 😊

Click below for previous days

Gif by @regal-roni

. . . .

The day had finally come and to say you'd woken up with a bounce in your step was an understatement. Regrettably and something you wouldn't share with anyone if they asked was that you ran to your front door when your eyes popped open at 0710.

Nothing was there of course but a thin layer of snow dusting your front porch. You'd even gone to your regular coffee shop this morning just in case they dropped it off there or ordered you something but Sharon didn't have anything for you but a knowing smile. So you order a cup to go and a freshly baked muffin to fill you up.

You'd stayed home all day other than the coffee run, never mind the things you needed at the shops you wanted to catch the person of they dropped something off. It was day 12, finale, so where was the surprise?

All your hopes and prayers were on it being Jacqueline, to no one's surprise, but there was massive doubt that it was actually her. She had an outstanding poker face, spending so much time with her last night, she gave nothing away even when you hinted towards it and there was no way she could be pulled it off unless she had help. Help in the form of the team and no one was that good at hiding secrets other than Gibbs. There was no way he would be in on it.

You thought about all the gifts, all the time it took for this person to go to so much effort, not just to get them, but to plan and organise it all so it was a secret.

It was getting late, the hope for the twelfth day was fading as the sun went down bit you pottered around your place, tidying up at bit as.youd neglected your home from working so much.

There was a sound that came from your front door and you sprung to check but there was nothing. Only footprints on the snow of a bird landing there and taking off again. You'd checked your front door more times than you'd like to admit today. Even Ellie had messaged twice, once at lunch and then an hour ago even though you assured her you would let her know when you found out. Your gut was telling you she knew something and was busting at the seems to tell you. If today was a work day you knew the secret would be out by now.

The sun was almost gone on another chilly December day and you were thinking about dinner. There was hardly anything in the fridge or pantry, you really shouldve done a quick shop while you were out for coffee. The only thing left that resembled some kind of dinner was a frozen cheese pizza so you turned on your oven, not wanting to go out for takeout and not wanting to spend the money on delivery. The snow had started to fall about an hour ago and you knew delivery would take longer, patience was lost around 0900 this morning.

You were about to unwrap the plastic from the pizza when the door bell rang. Your stomach dropped but your heartrate tripled and you couldn't move. The thought that it was just another delivery with no clue had crossed your mind but would the person be that sneakily cruel?

Yes.

They'd clearly been close enough the past 12 days to hear one or more of your conversations so...There was that hope again.

The knocker thumped three more times and your legs managed to skip to the front door in a calm manor unlike the pace of your heart right now. Taking a deep breath, you plastered a on smile your very nervous face and twisted the door handle.

The door cracked open a few inches and there was silence. A million things running through your mind all stilled when you finally got your answer.

"I was going to get Ellie to rock up and video your reaction but I thought, best not." She waited for you to say something, do something but you were searching for the right words. "Well, you going to let me in?" She shivered, looking around nervously as the snow started to pour down again.

You were shocked. The moment you'd been waiting for for twelve days was here and you had no words. Well, you had one. "Why?"

"Why should you let me in? Well the food is getting cold as I got your favourite from the little Italian place across town and it's been a traffic filled drive because no one in DC knows how to drive in snow so I took some back streets to get to your place so-"

"No, Jack. Why?" You were gripping onto your solid wooden door for life. She was nervous too, you could tell by her avoidance of eye contact and rambling. You couldn't tell if her cheeks were pink because of the chill or the situation.

Covering her mouth and clearing her throat, she looked up at you then. The first actual solid eye contact since you opened the door. "As good as I am at reading people and figuring out what to say at work. When it comes to this-" She gestured with her spare hand between you both. "- I fall awfully short." She paused, looking down again and you opened the door. "Thank you." She smiled, walking past you but you grabbed her hand to stop her in the doorway.

"You didn't need to buy me gifts to tell me you..." You didn't know how to finish that sentence. To date you? lo- no.

"I've always enjoyed buying gifts for people and receiving them, of course, but seeing your face, albeit frustrated sometimes, it was worth the surprise tonight." She shook off the cold and some snow fell to the floor.

"Jack!" You tugged her, closing the door and grabbing the bag of takeout from her and putting it on your small entry table. You laced your fingers together and brought your other hand up to cup her face, her eyes finally meeting yours. "Please."

She smiled, a soft curve to her lips and the best gift of happened, she was kissing you. Your eyes took a second to fall shut at the sudden soft contact. You melted into each other, her hand gripping your waist, grounding you while the soft kiss turned heated.

She pulled apart just far enough to catch her breath, your laced hands falling away as you picked up the takeout and lead her into your lounge room. The kiss had ignited something in you, you felt invincible and the nerves suddenly vanished. Nothing was said while you unpacked the meals she brought, you were about you hop up to get cutlery because the wooden ones they'd given you just wouldn't do but her hand squeezed your thigh stopping you in your tracks.

Your heart rate picked up again, not from nerves but from her touch. You hadn't looked at her since the kiss, although you felt like you could do anything right now, you couldn't look at her and see regret in her eyes. Unsure why you suddenly felt that way was a shock but -

"Y/n.." She breathed, her hand moving in soft circles over your thigh.

The low tone, almost a whisper, made you swallow hard. Her hand came up to cup your cheek and guide you this time to look into her eyes.

"Y/n -"

"Jack, please stop saying my name like that. I need dinner before I can do the things that that voice makes me want to do..." You rolled your eyes at how bad that sounded but relief came when her lips curved into a sultry smirk. Your avoidance of emotions wasn't lost on her but for now it would have to do.

"Fine. Dinner then dessert."

"Oh my god you didn't bring dessert did you?" She kissed you instead of replying, the answer on her tongue as she explored your mouth once more. "Right.. Shut up." You poked your tongue at her cheeky expression before turning back to dinner.

Surprisingly you managed to eat all the dinner before the make out session returned. At this point you were unsure if the dinner or her was the twelfth gift.

"What are you laughing at?" Her hand came up to cup the side of your face as her other ran down the side of your body, slipping under your shirt, again.

You were both stretched out on your sofa, Jack slipped in between you and the back of the sofa. You couldn't stop looking at her. "I wasn't laughing."

Her lips came down and ghosted over yours. "Your eyes were." She murmured before kissing you hard and fast.

You swallowed when she broke free, such a tease. "Was wondering what my day 12 gift actually was?" You smirked and squirmed under her ticklish feather light touch. You'd get her back for it later.

"In other words me or the dinner?" She said with a raised brow.

This time you did laugh.

"Think I got the best gift..." It was almost a whisper and you immediately stopped laughing and saw how serious she was.

You rolled onto you side so you were face to face. Your fingers tucking a few strands of hair that had fallen over her face, behind her ear. "Think we have different opinions there." You bumped your nose against hers, lightening the mood.

You were rewarded with a cute curve to her lips. "Don't fight me on this. You'll lose."

"I'm sure to lose many things that will come up in the next few months but my feelings for you. You can't win." You heart picked up, the feelings you just have away were much more than you planned in revealing.

She brushed her nose against yours, placing a gentle kiss to your lips which you tried so hard to extend but you pushed back with a laugh. "As much as I want to kiss you til the sun comes back up on Monday morning. I need to say something."

"Of course you do." You smirked at the light shove you got but you didn't care what she did to you. Right now Jacqueline Sloane was on your couch, in the middle of make out sessions. If you died tomorrow you'd be a happiest person in the world.

"I'm definitely going to win all the arguments over the next many years."

With that there was nothing else to say, the past twelve days had been fun and exciting with all the gifts you'd received but nothing compared to day twelve.

. . . .

I tried so hard. SO hard to not make who the gift giver was so obvious but like... You all know what stories I write. If Jack Sloane isn't the centre of the story then why am I writing it??

Drop a comment, I'd love to hear from all of you :)