#it can't be anachronistic because its THEIR setting

[thatyellowfinch]

wow insane to see people complaining about Taash's vocabulary in Veilguard

Sorry the entire game wasn't written in old english for you

Peraventure this were bet for the game speche sithen ye niseles ne can nat handlen modern englissh in youre tales.

Get thee hense, and swythe!

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Office hours.

Pairing: modern!Javier Peña x f!reader Words count: 3059 Rating: +18, NSFW, MDNI

Summary: You should concentrate on work. But you can't do that with the charming bastard you share the office with in front of you. Why not find a more fun way to spend your office hours? Tags: porn with very little plot, modern setting (they have computers and chats), POV second person, reader is described wearing a skirt, blouse and heels & having pussy and breasts, no other description of her is given, Javier is an unhinged menace and has a filthy mouth but so is reader, dirty talk, teasing, improper use of office chat, cockwarming, masturbation (f!receiving), pet names, slurs, pussy pronouns, mention of a sex toy, no Spanish because I don't really want to butcher another language since I am doing this extensively with English 💀, squirting, sexual activities in a public place, no age gap, age unspecified so it’s up to you (they’re both in their 30s in my head), the work they do is not specified so you can imagine what you want. I think it’s all? If I realized that I forgot something I’ll add it right away.

A/N: This is the second time I've tried to write Javi P and I'm terrified but because it came out on its own in a frenzy: here we gooo. I'm ovulating and I'm horny af. LOL It probably doesn't make sense, I don't have a beta reader, I reread it myself but my eyes are tired, English is not my first language so I ask your forgiveness if you find mistakes. I hope you like the dirty talk of this thing, I feel like it came out particularly well…fingers crossed.

You should really focus on your work, you have a deadline to meet tomorrow and you're still behind. And you certainly can't focus with a certain coworker in front of you. When they decided that you had to share a big office you secretly decided that your boss was an idiot. How productive could you have been with Javier Peña sitting at the desk in front of you? Obviously your boss expected you both to be adults, capable of controlling your own instincts. What you thought instead was that it would be the hell that it actually is. Because Javier is a charming bastard and you have had a crush on him since day one and he's definitely the type to flirt with all the women in the office.

You hate his guts and you fight practically all the time over any little inconvenience, but the creeping attraction between you, that feeling of always being on the edge of a cliff, that constant urge to provoke him to see which one of you would crack first never left. 

And today, when he showed up in yet another shirt that left his chest partially exposed-because the bastard in question wasn't the least bit interested in buttoning the last few buttons-and those damn skinny jeans straight from the ‘70 that on anyone would have looked silly and anachronistic but on him did nothing but send you into a frenzy of desire, you felt it might be the last straw.

Appropriate office attire does not exist for him, he only wears a tie for meetings with your boss but the rest of the time he dresses as he wants and apparently no one says anything to him. Fucking great, just what you need, seeing his chest displayed right in front of your eyes all the damn time.

You never even liked mustaches but now you couldn't help thinking how much you wished they would rub against your folds as he lapped at your cunt. You dreamed of him carrying your scent on him for the rest of the day, dreamed of kissing him and tasting you on his tongue.

You dreamed of getting up and going to sit on his lap as you continued to type the report you promised your boss and his cock rubbed against your thighs, your panties, and even better your bare pussy. You thought about it practically all morning and got so wet that you risked wetting your office chair, so much so that on your lunch break you had to hide in one of the bathroom stalls and take them off, to store them in a bag inside your purse. 

But now you are naked under your skirt. Which is even worse and makes things even harder for you. You jotted down in your mind that it was time to think about bringing a change of underwear with you. Now the fact that Javi was on the other side of the room was even more unbearable than before, setting you on fire. The temptation to do something stupid and make yourself a needy fool was eating you up. 

Javi looks up for a moment from the documents he is working on, casting one of his typical glances at you, big brown captivating eyes that stare at you many times during the day, only for a few seconds at a time. Minutes of each day flow so slowly when he is in front of you. You really shouldn't think about him; you're here to work. In theory. And you need this damn salary if you don't want to live without electricity or run out of food. The selfish asshole in front of you however doesn't seem to care that you will probably be fired soon and end up under a bridge, because he continues to tease you in any way he can. One day it's a quip about your nail polish, the next about your overly revealing blouse, the next about the length of your skirt. And then there are those glances, sometimes accompanied by a wink, mischievous smirks, a tilt of his head, little things that no one ever notices but you. He never pushes the envelope, but oh, by now you know he wants to. A week ago he asked you if you wanted to have a drink after work, and you said no, absolutely not, never mix business and pleasure, it was a very strict policy in your department. 

You regretted it right away, but what else could you have done? He's not someone you can trust.

He didn't push further, of course, which made you even more impatient, nervous, incredibly horny.

It's a challenge now, you have to have him. And you have to have him before your female colleagues, at least the ones on your floor. You always notice how they look at him, languid and sweet eyes, lip licks and lower lip nibbled, hair moved behind their ear, every time he walks down the hallway of your floor, there is no lady who doesn’t stop working at least for a moment to marvel at him.

It’s late now, the sun has long since gone down, almost everyone around you has been gone for at least 30 minutes, but you have been distracted all morning and now you have to catch up. You hoped he would leave with the others but he stayed here. You’re doomed at this point, you can���t even think straight anymore. You know there’s some other colleagues three offices ahead, down the hall, whom you saw five minutes ago when you got up to get a cup of coffee. As you reread what you wrote, with your eyes fixed on the computer screen, you can't get him out of your mind, feeling his eyes on you, heat blazing under your skin. You turn toward the door in a clumsy attempt to avoid his gaze, realizing that you have closed it.

And well, after all, you've been working hours, maybe you can take a little break. Just five minutes. And what better to do in those five minutes than tease Javi? 

You don't mind playing and playing with him seems almost natural and physiological given his constant attempts to sabotage your self-control; perhaps you could try to sabotage his a little without risking too much.

So you open your legs. Just a little bit, just enough to show him that you're not wearing panties. 

And you look at him, without saying anything. Javi licks his lips, you know his eyes have caught in full what you wanted him to see. His jaw tenses, his hand clenches into a fist over the papers he is examining. Little imperceptible reactions that you crave like water in the middle of a desert. 

Until the chat banner you use to communicate with colleagues lights up on your desktop. 

“I can smell you from here.” it says. The sender is obviously that bastard you share an office with. 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” you quietly type. 

After a few seconds another message appears.

"Your delicious pussy, of course, you tempting little slut." You turn to look at him who is totally deadpan.  

You click your tongue and type, “You should be thinking about your work, not my pussy, you know? Highly unprofessional. I should go straight to someone in HR and report you”

“Oh yeah? And so you want everyone to know that you come to work without underwear. Typical greedy slut behavior." 

You lean against the desk, pretending to be shocked at first, looking at him with disappointment. A small smile creases the corners of his mouth, a hint of teeth between his lips, his eyes fiercely twinkling, he is convinced he has made you uncomfortable. 

Smiling in turn, savoring the taste of victory, you lower a hand between your legs, grazing your now totally soaked folds.

His eyebrows rises slightly, his eyes fixed on your fingers moving slowly over your outer lips. 

You type “I think you like what you see” With your other hand. 

He swallows, lowering a hand to his jeans in turn. You lean against the back of the chair to get a better look and clearly catch the tent that is growing under the crotch. He bites his lower lip, one hand moving up and down over his bulge and the other typing on the computer keyboard. 

“I bet you don't have the guts to come over here and make my cock feel that tight pussy of yours.”

Okay, you think, if you want to play dirty that's what you're going to get. 

You look around, listening to every little noise from the other rooms, the office seems empty and quiet. 

You close your eyes, just a moment, before grabbing some papers from your desk, getting up and walking toward him, swaying on your heels. 

What you've been dreaming of doing all morning is about to happen, you feel yourself floating like in a bubble.

He unbuckles his belt and pulls down the zipper of his jeans, freeing his huge shaft as he stares at you.

He turns his wheeled office chair toward you and you straddle him. 

He grabs your hips gently pushing you down on his cock, the tip grazing at your folds “such a slut” 

“If anyone here is a whore it's you. Do you think I don't know that you're getting off with half the accounting department?”

“Mh, maybe you should inform your pussy, she seems to have lost the memo judging by how much she's dripping on me.”

He holds his cock with one hand as you lower yourself onto him, looking down to where your pussy and his cock are coming into conjunction.

“Oh please shut up, I don't give a shit about your office banter.” 

You drag this out for months, days upon days of longing and teasing and nights spent in bed imagining that he was the one sucking you off instead of your toy.

You lean down holding his shoulders and whisper in his ear, “Stuff it all in.’” and you start rubbing yourself against him, feeling his huge dripping cock all inside your cunt. He stays still. 

You moan lightly and he shushes you "you have to be quiet honey, do you want us to be caught? Do you want them to notice that you are cockwarming me instead of working?”He places one of his hands on your mouth, your stifled moans vibrating on his fingers as you grind until your cream is leaking down his balls, his jeans, making a mess on his chair.

“Christ, you’re so fucking wet” he murmurs thrusting a little and starting to hump his whole dick inside, he reaches your clit with two fingers and starts moving them slowly in circles over it “she’s squeezing me so right, baby, I can go on for hours just like that, stuffing you full with my cock” His other hand is resting on your hip, just above the waistband your skirt and he holds you close to him. 

He pulls out a little and pounds it back in, making you writhe and moan “Fuck yeah, you hear it? Your noisy sticky little cunt gushing for me? It’s like a fucking symphony” he whispers 

Your whines vibrate on his fingers “oh baby, you really have to learn your manners. I said keep quiet.” He removes his hand from in front of your lips and sticks two fingers in your mouth “suck these. Maybe you'll learn to be quiet with your mouth full. Or should I fill that one with my cock too?”

You suck them greedily, feeling the taste of your pussy spread over your tongue. “That’s right, baby, just like that”

You hear the main floor door slam, the last people have also left, you are now alone and his cock is buried inside you.

“Jesus, look at the mess you’ve made on me, sucking my cock in like the desperate little slut you are… you wanna come, huh?” 

You nod, as your tongue swirls on his digits, licking and sucking enraptured by your taste and his gaze locked on yours. 

“Yeah, I bet you want this cock to pound you senseless, am I right?” 

You nod again, feeling your heart raging behind your ribcage. 

You never felt so desperate for anyone, the way he’s torturing you, his cock deep down inside you without moving an inch, your pussy drenched, his precum smearing all over your walls mixing with your fluids. 

You feel delirious. 

“I know baby but not here.” He whispers mischievously and your eyes are almost on the verge of tears “you can come tho, let me help but you have to be very quiet for me, okay?” 

You think the office is empty, but you can't be sure, there are so many rooms and someone could still be inside.

He slides his fingers out of your mouth and puts them back on your clit, starting to rub it gently. They are coated in your saliva and slide pleasantly over it, sending you almost over the edge. 

“Look how swollen she is, poor little cunt, she wants to come so badly, isn’t she?” his low hoarse voice gravels in your ears as he pinches your clit and begins to jerk it off faster. 

You writhe trying to stand up a little to ease your numbed legs but he pins you down on his cock digging his fingers in your hip “nah, you stay where you are, honey, gonna come full of me and at the pace of my fingers” 

You bite your lower lip hiding your face in the crook of his neck “no, look me in the eyes, I want to see that pretty face while you come like a whore for me”

One of your hands wraps around the back of his neck as you force yourself to look in his eyes. They are black with lust and desire, pupils dilated and fixed on yours in a frenzy.

His fingers move faster and faster, his cock throbs inside you.

“Come apart for me, babe, let me feel your greedy cunt squirting for me, come on” 

His words are enough to send you over the edge, you come copiously squirting on top of him as he doesn't stop rubbing your clit.

“Yeah, baby, just like that, you’re so fucking beautiful right now” 

You strive to keep your eyes on him but eventually throw your head back overwhelmed by the heat spreading inside you, enveloping every cell in your body and pulsing uncontrollably in your veins. 

It’s too much, it’s all too much and he didn’t even fuck you properly yet. 

You collapse onto his shoulder, holding onto his neck, panting against his skin “Fuck” 

“Yeah, baby, I know, that’s what you wanted huh? Coming full of me like a bitch in heat?” 

You look into his eyes and whisper, “Oh, no, I want so much more.” 

“Oh yeah? What else do you want?” He grins.

“Take me home. Now.” 

“Ask nicely, baby” 

You huff “Take me home, Javi, please” 

He chuckles “Hungry little thing, what do you want me to do for you once we get home?” 

You sigh and then looking into his eyes defiantly whisper “I want you to fuck me, I want you to fuck me so hard that I scream, I want the whole neighborhood to hear me. I want your cock pounding inside me all night”

He clicks his tongue and replies, “So cheeky asking me to take you home and fuck you while my cock is still inside you.”

“That’s what I want, do you think you can do that for me?” You ask, raising your eyebrow. 

“Of course. You chose the right man for the job.” 

He slaps your ass before you stand up and fix your clothes as best you can. His jeans are completely covered in your juices and his cock still rock hard, you hope that no one is really there or they will notice what you have done.

“Here, put this around your waist,” you say, handing him your black cardigan. 

He looks down at his jeans, laughing. “Damn, you made a real mess. I think I’ll have to get rid of that chair, too.”

He wraps your cardigan around his waist so that the sleeves hang down the front, almost completely covering the dark, wet stain.

“Let’s get out of here” 

You take a deep breath, turning the doorknob down and looking out into the hallway, you look left and right and there doesn’t seem to be anyone “come on, let’s hurry” you say waving and he chuckles behind you. You walk out the door in silence, walking down the hallway to the front door.

You press the elevator button while he pinches your ass “stop it” you hiss. 

You enter the elevator, side by side, and as the doors are about to close, a hand reaches between them, stopping them. 

Your boss enters and looks at you in surprise. “Oh, you’re still here?” 

You’re screaming internally as you struggle to keep a poker face and reply calmly “Yes, of course. I had to work on that report and Javier offered to help me out.” 

Your boss nods, completely unaware. “Good, I expect it to be on my desk by tomorrow morning.”

You nod, lying, “yeah sure, definitely, it's practically over.” as you hear Javier stifle a laugh. 

You turn to give him a disapproving look as he covers his mouth and looks down to quell his giggles.

You arrive at the lobby in the longest elevator ride of your life.

“See you tomorrow then, have a good evening” Your boss says as soon as you three come out. 

“Good evening” you babble thanking God he didn't notice anything.

“Oh shit, that was a close call!” Javier laughs as soon as your boss gets in the car.

You slap him on his shoulder “does that sound funny to you? Come on, take me home and make me forget that I just risked losing my job”

“I can’t wait, honey,” he puts his arm around your waist as he walks you to his car. 

Sure, you don’t know what’s going to happen and you don’t know if it’s worth it but you can’t wait to ride him on a bed and forget your name too.

general tag list: @aurorawritestoescape @baronessvonglitter @milla-frenchy @thundermartini @harriedandharassed @almostempty @lovely-vamp-princess @pedrostories 🌹

[simon-roy]

Asking here because I get notified if you reply: why rockettes? Beside the obvious cool factor and the vague notion that euhumanists can't just do things normally and have to have an extra layer of complexity, is there like a... practical advantage to having a gun that shoots rockets vs one that shoots bullets? They don't seem guided or explosive, and without fins would they be more accurate or reach longer distances than a single-impulse munition?

My rationale for this is both aesthetic (retro-futurism) and internal world logic.

First, the internal logic of the world.

The Euhumanists have spent centuries, presumably, using beam weapons for small arms (like star trek). If they were stuck without reliable beam weapons (because of limited power sources, manufacturing capabilities, etc, like in "the grand tour"), and were developing their industrial capacities from a very limited base, circumstances would possibly force them to essentially re-invent the gun.

Given their own history as space-faring people, I was thinking that the rocket would probably be their most direct reference for a combustion-driven kinetic device - so having them develop an awkward micro-rocket, instead of first developing muskets or cartridge ammunition, felt suitably unique, clunky and weird for the world.

Also, in researching "caseless" ammunition of this type, like russian VOG launched grenades, the gyrojet, the italian 9mm AUPO round, and, the granddaddy of them all, the 1800s ROCKET BALL (see below image), it was interesting seeing all the other methods of containing projectile and gunpowder in one discrete unit.

The rocket ball came about in 1848 and was my biggest inspo for this, but the utterly magical and deranged GYROJET missile-bullet was up there too. If you search youtube for gyrojet firing footage, its completely fascinating!

This is all to say, though, that aesthetics and the idea of this colony fumbling their way into firearms came first. This style of ammo doesnt have much in the way of practical advantages over modern cartridges, but modern cartridges also just felt WAY too anachronistic to throw into this setting. But it has been a very fun research rabbit hole for me to clamber down!

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 君子盟/A League of Nobleman

A League of Nobleman is the unfortunately translated English title of a 2023 historical drama about an idealistic country boy/genius detective/noodle seller, and a wealthy minister on a mission to exonerate his late father from charges of treason, even if he himself has to commit some treason in the process.

I watched this one not too long after it came out, and I was expecting there would be a lot of buzz as soon as fandom got hold of it. There wasn't, but I can understand why. The show is a lovely, ethereal drama that has some genuinely moving moments, stunning visuals, and charming character interactions.

It is, however, kiiiiiiiind of a hot mess.

What follows is an incredibly qualified rec. Unlike most of the previous shows I've recommended, this show is not something you could just throw at your Average American Television Enjoyer. Censorship got its claws into this one, and what's left is ... okay, imagine fliming all of Hannibal just like you want it, and then right before it airs, NBC comes in and says, okay, now we're just going to take out all the parts that are gay and violent and gory! You know what you'd have left? You'd have a League of Nobleman, is what.

(If you want a little more explanation of what's awkward about it, here's a take based on the first ten episodes. Note that not everything that bothers AvenueX bothers me, but they're fair critiques.)

Therefore, I'd have a tough time recommending this to someone who hasn't already built up a tolerance for the experience of seeing a scene end nearly mid-sentence, or hearing described something that happened just offscreen (while seeing no one's lips move). You need to be prepared to look through the jank to see the show we could have had beneath the show that actually arrived.

Even so, I have five reasons I think you should at least give it a shot!

1. That precious baby boy

Look at him. Look at his precious face. Don't you just want to stuff him down the front of your shirt and take him home with you?

That is Zhang Ping. He is the hero and he is a good boy.

He is a darling dumpling who grows up reading novels about how members of the judiciary nobly solve crimes and punish the unjust, so he decides that he wants to move to the big city and become a member of the judiciary to nobly solve crimes and punish the unjust! ...Until he gets there and realizes, no, baby, that was fiction. But gosh darn it, he's going to try anyway.

I have seen people say they read Zhang Ping as autistic. While I'm not sure that's specifically what the show itself was going for, that's kind of the effect -- which, I think, is why I've also seen a lot of people say they don't like Song Weilong's performance. I don't think he's wooden or unemotional; I think he just made a choice to play the character as not always real good about understanding why the people around him are having the emotions they're having. Similarly, I think what makes him read as anachronistic is mostly how he doesn't engage well with the rules of social convention that are such important parts of this historical setting.

Like, you see that picture above, with him and Lan Jue whispering at one another? Zhang Ping is doing this because he is absolutely convinced that this is appropriate subterfuge behavior. Lan Jue is matching him because he thinks Zhang Ping is adorable.

Just the goodest boy. A baby. Please care him.

2. the aesthetic

The show is beautiful. It looks and sounds amazing. For some reason I can't find a clip of just the opening credits, but here's a (strangely bloody) trailer that gives a sense of its general vibe:

As you can see a couple times in there, the show makes great use of tilt-shift photography -- you know, the thing where you change the focal length until everything starts to look fake? It creates a weird, dreamlike effect where parts of the frame are out of focus for no reason, or actual locations start to look like model-train miniatures. Many of the shots are framed like this, giving the entire thing a very pretty, very uncanny look.

And speaking of the dreamlike: If there's one thing I've come to expect from C-dramas, it's bad CGI. That is not the case here! The CG is used so sparingly that it's unobtrusive and actually quite nice. Much more of the weight of the show's look relies on practical effects that are supported and amplified by CG, which is the optimal combo. When it does go all in on CG, it's in the service of dreamscapes that are supposed to look unreal anyway.

The show does admittedly have a mild problem of using a cool effect and then largely forgetting that effect exists. For example, the first episode has a really neat "freeze time and walk through a crime scene" bit! And then we barely ever see that ability again. But the show's doing so many other lovely things that you don't really feel the absence until you stop to think about it all later. So don't stop to think about things! That's my motto! (It really isn't.)

The directors also just have a lovely eye for things -- which is extra-surprising considering that both of them are first-time directors. That can be fun, though, when you get people who haven't gotten stuck in their ways get, so they're still being new and weird with it. ...Of course, I bet that's also some of why so much of the show quite obviously got cut to ribbons, if you're also working with directors who also haven't figured out how to get away with things just yet.

Overall, the production values are very high. This show clearly had a fairly solid amount of funding behind it, but it also used its resources smartly. Most costumes are elegant but not extravagant. Detailed sets are small and beautiful locations are contained. While I have great respect for productions that try to create epics on a shoestring budget, there's something to be said for a project that sets its sights on the achievable, then puts its effort into doing what it can, well.

3. A ship for everyone!

There are so many potential ways to pair up them boys. The show's main pair dynamic is between country mouse Zhang Ping and city mouse Lan Jue, but it surely does not stop there. In fact, I've made a helpful chart that shows you all the potential flavors of gay you can enjoy at this particular danmei buffet:

(And yes, if you've seen the show, you know there's at least one more line that I could've drawn here, but I don't want to spoil anything.)

Now, whether you do read any of these dynamics as sexual/romantic is up to you. The point is that you could. For example, I personally am not that into Lan Jue/Xu Dong, but if you lose your shit when a competent sword guy owes a life debt to the defenseless noble he works for? You could have a lot of fun with what the show gives you.

Obviously, because this is a censored c-drama, there are no canon gay romances. However, a couple of them are more textual than others, especially the ones that center Lan Jue, because everyone clearly wants a piece of that fancy flat ass.

One of AvenueX's comments from the video I linked earlier is that the main couple has less sparkle together than each of them has individually with the man that's supposed to be his bestie. While that changes as the show goes on, these two side pairs never cease to be enjoyable. Whether you read them as sexual or not is up to you! Romantically or platonically, they're still a delight to watch bounce off of one another.

And Lan Jue/Gu Qingzhang (that one terrible ex from the chart) is, uh, basically textual? It's miles into "there is no straight explanation for this" territory. Again, avoiding spoilers here, but trust me. You get to see their secluded love nest and everything. Shit's real gay.

Then, of course, there's the main pair:

This is clearly the one that got hit real hard by cuts to the material. It's a damn shame, because this is clearly meant to be the core of the whole narrative. Despite that, the two of them have a fascinating dynamic that changes over the series from outright suspicion to cautious care to absolute trust. It's a great combo of someone who is too honest for his own good and someone so used to court politics that he lies as easily as breathing.

Ironically, the source material is Not Gay, to the point where the author has basically disowned this series as being so different from her original work as to be unrecognizable. You sort of have to wonder about the creative thought processes that led to taking a gen work and deciding to BL it up for the live-action adatation. I'm not complaining, mind you, but it is a little bit of an unforced error.

So whatever flavor of gay it is you're into, the odds are very good that this drama will have at least enough of it to keep you interested!

4. A very charming cast

I got to gush about Song Weilong's Zhang Ping earlier, but honestly I think everybody's pretty enjoyable, from the main cast to the recurring side characters to the one-off extras who show up for a single episode. Everybody's playing it weird and theatrical, so I get it if that's not your cup of tea. However, I feel all the performances are well-suited to the slightly surreal style of the production.

Here's just a couple of the real gems:

Jing Boran's Lan Jue has the perfect regal bearing of a fussy gentleman, but with a very endearing softness underneath. He spends half his time with eyes brimming with unshed tears, and the other half making heart-eyes at his boyfriends. You understand why everybody in the empire wants to ride him like they stole him, and that's even before he lets his hair down and starts dressing in slutty sheer robes. (I'm not entirely sure either he or the show knew how to play the character in the first few episodes, but he gets way better once he stops being so sinister and mysterious and gets to be cute and/or unhinged.)

There is one female character who shows up in more than one arc, and she is the Empress Dowager, and she is such a wonderful awful bitch. What a monster. Shi Yueling eats up every scene she's in by being the perfect mix of reprehensible and fascinating.

I was already primed to like Wang Duo because I liked watching him be a pretty snake boy in Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity. Well, now he gets to be a pretty metaphorical snake boy here. I'm not spoiling anything by telling you he's bad news. He shows up damn near the end of the show and you know immediately he's bad news. But you don't know what kind of bad news he is, and that's fun to find out.

And speaking of actors I already liked from other places! Guo Cheng has mastered the art of acting with his mouth full. His Chen Chou is a sweet, earnest anchor in a world of tricksy boys.

There is something about Hong Yao's handsome face that makes Wang Yan perpetually look a little red-eyed, like he's trying hard to pretend that he wasn't just crying in his office. It's the perfect soft touch to his incredibly wonderful chad of a character. I'm usually not into the cocky jocks, but I will make such an exception for him.

I love you, fortune-telling gremlin grandpa.

5. Raw materials

Look, I assume if you've made it this far in the rec and you're still hanging on, you're interested for one of two reasons. The more normie reason is that you're into c-dramas in general (and probably period dramas in particular), and gay stuff is a selling point, so you see the appeal of turning on a drama where cute boys have emotions at other cute boys. That is a perfectly good reason to watch this drama, and if this is you, I hope you have fun!

The other reason is that you like making fan stuff, and you need some new blorbos to blorb in new and exciting combinations. Friend, I have that stuff for you right here.

A League of Nobleman has problems -- but they are problems that may be appealing to people who enjoy fixing things. There are literal holes in the series where actual, planned, filmed scenes were deleted! If you're looking for source material that's just begging you to fill in the gaps, look no further.

Of course I'm partial to the number of queer DIY romance options there are (see point 3), but that's not the extent of it. The setting is fascinating: an unspecified premodern Chinese dynasty magical enough to have a Bureau of Incantations, where the emperor is (for once) a cool dude, secluded village people live in semi-communal families, and one of the main characters can play Inception with people's heads. I'll say it plainly: If you are into kinky dream sex, this is the drama for you.

I should note that one of the things that doesn't need fixing is the overall shape of the series. The individual little case incidents seem disconnected, but they all weave together at the end as part of a (let's be real, ridiculously complicated) plot, giving the whole thing a pretty satisfying wrap-up. The show does not just fall off a cliff like Moriarty; it resolves in a way that's more than a little convoluted, but still overall satisfying. Also, a lot of those ships from the chart above, when it's all over, are still together. Some days that's all you need from an ending.

Maybe I sound like a broken record at this point, but to give you a sense of how heavy the hand of censorship clearly was, understand several of these episodes don't even break the 35-minute mark, and only four are even over 40 minutes long, when ~45 minutes is about the episode standard for this genre. (For comparison, every Untamed episode at least 42 minutes long.) I think it's important to realize just how much actual connective tissue got removed, way more than just individual censored shots or single redubbed lines.

And speaking of redubbed lines, the last episode of this show contains possibly the funniest NO HOMO in BL history. You have to see it to believe it -- or, rather, to not believe it, because the first time I watched, I didn't even understand what the hell the show was implying. I'll say no more.

Where to watch it!

I hope I've convinced you to at least give it a try! It's not a perfect show by any means, but it's a show with many good elements, and if you can embrace what's there without getting too hung up on what's not, it's a pretty good time.

If you're up for it, you can find it on this YouTube playlist -- though be prepared that it often mutes the opening music. It's also available on Viki (with ads, but less muting).

Just look at those precious, pinchable cheeks. Adorable.

[lokisgoodgirl]

im rewatching the Avengers for...research purposes (fic purposes) and I kind of just can't stop obsessing over this look

like i cant. i dont know what it is about it but god does it set something off in me (tiny orgasm? bundles of joy? giggles? who knows.) like hgnghnghng. the stern expression on his face. and that silly little staff and that SCARF and the SUIT and hgnghnghngg. something about it just gives me...... hot sexy business man?? i dont know. i cant put my finger on it but i am Thinking Things and I can't be held responsible for my actions!!!

he's so.....ugh i KNOW we fan abt this look all the time but something today......something today just makes it so PERFECT. like it HITS the spot (just like he does. WOAH.)

anyway anyway anyway. hmmmmmmmmm. he's so yummy.

KISSES LOVELY <333

😱😱😱😱😱I am absolutely cackling at this because i watched Avengers lasy night and I had the EXACT SAME THOUGHT! 😂 For me it's the, as you said, little scarf (!!!) and the long coat. Like many others i am weak trash for a long coat. Plus you have the cane, and if there's one combination that sends me into orbit its a long coat and some kind of cane. (I had some R rated thoughts during Wonka let me tell you)

What I love with this outfit is that they managed to keep the 'otherworldly' vibe even though he's trying to blend in. It's so anachronistic : the cane, the hair, the suit is very reminiscent of another time, but achieves his purposes.

Oh but remember, then he does this. And that's usually when the internal screaming starts🤣🔥🔥🚒

Thank you for thinking of me with your joyus thoughts 🤭🤭

[blankd]

(I was going to attach this text to a reblog but I lost the original post, I'm appending more text to make it stand on it's own since it's a topic worth discussing IMO)

The Problem with Taash, an opinion from a ~*Mixed Race Queer Person and a Writer*~

spoilers for Veilguard and Taash's quest- while I haven't seen the ending of the game yet these are egregious writing issues that a 3rd act revelation isn't going to fix

Taash is technically not a "bad character" in a vacuum, they are bad because they are in a Dragon Age game with preexisting lore and this game has writing that is inconsistent with the tone and setting of the previous entries.

Their language is as anachronistic as the rest of Veilguard's main cast dialogue, with disbelief finally shattering at the idea that this Dark Medieval Fantasy suddenly manifests a damn about the gender binary, much less echo the same contemporary terms of 2024 Americans. If they took the time to come up with their own term (or god forbid, something UNIQUE to the setting), I PERSONALLY wouldn't quibble about it. The use of nonbinary is just a symptom of a bigger problem, bad/weak writing, and it is the most emblematic of the lack of care or priority in keeping DA's tone consistent.

Some may argue that using "modern terms" is good, but like anything that isn't a capsule of a specific time period, this kind of writing will age POORLY at best.

More subjectively, but still related to the bad writing problem: I initially didn't mind Taash being blunt and immature, but when no other companion pushed back on them (and Rook is mostly an enabler), it rapidly wore out its welcome. As the focus shifted (with the grace of an anvil) that their plot would be about Gender, I felt the interesting avenues for the character perish in real time. I KNEW more unique in-game hooks were being sacrificed to focus on this, and later scenes would show I wasn't wrong. I PERSONALLY would have preferred if Taash was NB out the gate so that their personal quest could be about literally anything more unique to Dragon Age.

The real crime is that the game literally sits you down to have a 101 chat, despite it being an M-rated game, it's insulting to everyone involved. That this is an inexorable part of Taash is not a "win" unless your litmus for quality is built entirely on reactionary "owns". If you are part of this group, I ask you to consider how practical it is to punish an audience for the words of people who are NOT in that audience. The people who were already reacting with disgust about the option to be NB in the character creator are NOT going to make it to Taash's personal quest.

Some may argue it's "good" it's mandatory, but to that I beg the question of what is LOST by having Taash being NB right out the gate. I know what the game would gain- it would have to actually put something else into Taash's character and maybe we'd be spared the hamfisted sensitivity conversation about pronouns. Like for fuck's sake the end of the world is happening, but sure let's pause the Dark Fantasy Apocalypse to attend an HR meeting in a pirate queen's office- yeah that's the MOST interesting thing that could happen there.

But really this all acts as setup for how despite taking great pains to make sure the player understands that Taash is NB (and that's heckin' valid), they then "have to decide" which SINGULAR culture they will embrace/identify with.

I genuinely don't know why this beat is here at all, but it's baffling to bludgeon that gender is not limited to a binary while presenting CULTURE as mutually exclusive. That ROOK has any input at all is just as staggering display of either a disrespect for the fiction or the player, or both. If you're going to have a sacrificial Very Special Episode character, you can't have it end as having shifted the same 'problem' over to a different topic.

I don't hold ill will to anyone who likes Taash as a character, but as a writer, queer rep is WELL beyond a character looking at the camera and saying they're Nonbinary. "But people will argue against it, they HAD to!" That is a bullshit excuse, GOOD writing doesn't cater to bad faith losers. The painter does not paint for the arsonist.

Misc Points I disagreed with more directly but had no real segue points (and some futureproofing against people who might use these to disregard what I've said): "Taash is only getting crit b/c they're BIPOC coded and queer [therefore this crit is founded in racism]" -Neve and Davrin ARE BIPOC, so unless they are bundled with the "unfair crit", this is not a substantiated assumption. As a tangent, if we're going to dig this deep whatever happened to the outrage at "making 'nonhuman species' NB". Diversity WIN the most inhuman party member is NB! (I personally don't have any strong feelings about that point, but I'm familiar with this being a common complaint from those who seek NB rep.)

"Taash gets crit but these NPCs don't [that's suspicious]" the NPCs don't have cutscenes dedicated to them coming out. The NPCs keep the game moving, but Taash's ~journey~ requires the player be invested and give input which creates the strange dissonance that Taash is trading out their mother's approval for Rook's (which is weird since NEVE is the one that introduces Taash to ~queer identities~ but is relatively ABSENT for the rest of it). Party members ought to have a sliver more autonomy- they can hook up without Rook, yet they can't be true to themselves unless Rook is there, what are the writers implying or achieving with this? The writers also tip their hand about what they want, defeating the point of having options at all in any of these scenes. The removal of player agency is not going to endear ANYONE to this character!

"Taash is also autistic [and is being unfairly criticized]" Taash can still be unpleasant and the lack of pushback from others is what makes it irritating since it comes across as the writers holding back for the sake of optics rather than committing to writing sensible to the fiction.

[susiephone]

one phenomenon on this website that kind of baffles me is when people are like "why would you enjoy [mainstream thing] when you could be paying attention to [thing created by or starring marginalized people]", which on its own is fine and good. romoting diverse media and works that don't get the attention they deserve? sign me up!

but often those posts imply it's somehow impossible for people to enjoy both things at once (or that it's some kind of moral failing to enjoy the mainstream thing at all). that always annoys me but what's worse imo is when the two things op is comparing have absolutely nothing in common whatsoever. like you wouldn't say "why watch Parks and Recreation when you could watch Star Trek: Discovery"??? both excellent amazing shows that i adore. zero overlap in theme, tone, or genre. someone enjoying one does not indicate how they'd feel about the other, in either direction.

like this one post i saw where people were discussing The Love Hypothesis, and one person in the thread said they worked in a bookstore, and whenever someone asked where they could find The Love Hypothesis, they'd say the store didn't have any copies but direct them to Nimona instead

setting aside the fact that it's tbh just kind of obnoxious to not let someone purchase a book you personally find bad or cringey or bland (i haven't read The Love Hypothesis beyond the prologue, so i can't form an opinion just yet, but i am currently reading it because i've seen it get dragged to hell and back, but i've also seen people earnestly enjoy it, and i wanted to give it a fair shake. plus, i like romcoms), why the hell do you think someone interested in The Love Hypothesis would be interested in Nimona?

i ADORE Nimona. it is one of my favorite stories ever. i recommend it to basically everyone. but like... The Love Hypothesis is a contemporary opposites attract romantic comedy set in a college that is aimed at adults. Nimona is a young adult fantasy comedy/parody graphic novel about found family and forgiveness set in an anachronistic otherworld.

these two have exactly zero things in common. if someone hasn't read Nimona, maybe it's not because they're "wasting their time" on The Love Hypothesis. maybe they just don't like graphic novels, or fantasy, or YA!

like, obviously, do promote the works you love, and do encourage people to seek out more diverse media, esp from marginalized creators. but consider your audience. if you know someone loves chocolate bars, you wouldn't just assume they like sour patch kids.

[radioactivemelody]

Holy Quintet and their paranormal elements

I have been twirling this idea around my head for a good amount of time until I finally indulged it (and because I got some free time) so yeah. But first, let me explain to you what "paranormal elements" I'm talking about.

Simply, the paranormal elements from the Brazilian RPG called Ordem Paranormal (Paranormal Order if you will) and it has four main elements in which people can connect with.

BLOOD - Everything starts with Blood. Blood is the flow that drenches the eternity of the Other Side.

Blood is the entity of feelings. It seeks the intensity: pain, obsession, passion, love, hunger, hatred - everything evolving feeling an extreme emotion pleases the Blood entity.

DEATH - Everything has a start and an end, and time takes everything with it. Nothing transformed by Death can return to what was before.

Death is the entity of time. It seeks the lived moments, distorting the egocentric perception of each individual's existence for its own satisfaction.

KNOWLEDGE - To know everything is to lose everything.

Knowledge is the entity of consciousness. Discovering, learning, knowing, deciphering. Having one's perception of the Other Side and its entities pleases the Knowledge element.

ENERGY - Chaos is inevitable.

Energy is the entity of chaos. Everything that cannot be explained, the intangible, anarchy. The constant change, the heat and the cold, the light and the darkness. Everything that involves unpredictability and transformation pleases the Energy entity.

With that aside, let's get into it (and please, know this is my opinion based on their personality and character design overall).

Homura Akemi – Death/Knowledge

With the characterization of the anime and half of Rebellion (Devil Homura comes later), Homura has always struck me as a mix of Death and Knowledge.

For Death, obviously, her time powers. She doesn't have the ability to speed or slow things, only pause and reset. Her journey can be defined as "running around in circles" and the main symbol for this element is spirals. She seeks to live once again the happy moments with Madoka, in order to change her fate. Her mind is old but her body is young. Homura is an anachronistic. But playing with time - every story has an end eventually.

Along with that, there's Knowledge. Homura prefers logicality, she's strategic in her steps and plans. She takes mistakes as an opportunity to learn and turn better. She doesn't let emotions blind her sense of awareness. She stands on the side of reason. All of those traits are perfectly descriptive of the element of Knowledge. And yet - the holder of information, she can't even tell the others. The truth kills those who know, hence: to know everything is to lose everything.

Now, Devil Homura. She's blood and energy. Why?

What was the factor that made Homura do her board flip? Love and obsession. She tainted the entire universe with her feelings alone, creating a new world just for her beloved. This intensity is what the Blood entity seeks. An emotion so strong that is capable of changing the entire fabric of the universe.

This twines finely with her rebellion against the law and order the Law of Cycles set. Anarchy, the other side of the coin. Nobody expected her to suddenly overthrow Madoka. She's the darkness to Madoka's light. She's evil and unholy to Madoka's purity and divinity. Those traits fit into the description of Energy. Not to mention the entire purple motif going on.

Kyoko Sakura – Blood

A pretty damn obvious one. Intense with her own feelings, has a red motif. Bold, seeks carnage and hunts witches and if needed, magical girls. With a mindset of survivalism and refusal to lose against the chain of food with anger, hatred and bitterness in her heart, Kyoko's erratic intensity is basically a perfect description of what the Blood entity is.

Madoka Kaname - Knowledge

Meanwhile Knowledge is all about being logical and constantly seeking to discover, it also has this motif of purity and holiness. One of the creatures from the RPG associated with this element is literally the Angel from the bible, you know, biblically accurate angels?

Madoka, even much more in her Goddess form, fits into the category of Knowledge. The entity messes in a "psychological" way, spilling truths about things that are out of our reach - like a concept or an universal being. It maintains the balance of reality so it doesn't collapse. Guess who did something similar in the anime? The two colors which are commonly used to those who connect with the entity of Knowledge are yellow/golden and white. Once again, guess who uses this exact palette when she ascended to godhood? Madoka Kaname, you're Knowledge through and through.

Mami Tomoe - Knowledge

Just like Kyoko, Mami's also an obvious one. Thinks in the side of reason, has a yellow and white motif. She's elegant, not failing to have this aura of purity and holiness (hence, Holy Mami). When not having emotions blinding her sight, she's extraordinary. And yet… The truth is cruel in killing her. Despite fitting into the Knowledge entity, being aware of the truth behind Magical Girls makes her lose her mind without pity. She's a great explanation behind the meaning of the phrase "to know everything is to lose everything".

Sayaka Miki - Knowledge/Blood

Oh boy, I do love to analyze multifaceted characters.

Sayaka might not fit entirely into the Knowledge mood but she has some traits of it. A knight who fights for justice, for what's right or at least, what she thinks it's right. Through Sayaka's eyes, that's logical and reasonable. She fights to maintain peace and balance. In Rebellion, she used to be literally one of God's angels and lived in the Magical Girl heaven.

Despite these traits, Sayaka lets herself be swayed away by her own emotions. She's intense and isn't afraid to hide them. Despite sharing similar traits, she heavily conflicted with Kyoko, who's Blood as well. But later, in Rebellion, they connected more than ever. She summons Oktavia through her own blood because everything starts with Blood. She made a wish because of an emotion - love. Died because of that and with that because Kyoko loved her.

And for bonuses…

Nagisa Momoe - Energy

This sweet little ball of chaos. Who cares if it is God or the Devil who's in control of the universe? As long she's alive and has cheese, she's apparently fine. While Homura and Sayaka go down into an argument, she's seen running in the background, laughing. Maybe because she's free or maybe it's cool as hell to run through a river of punch juice. It's really funny to see a character who aligns with the entity of Energy be the family of someone who aligns with Knowledge. Oh, the irony. That's what Energy seeks for.

I hope all liked my shameless crossover between my two favorite pieces of media. It's fun to analyze characters through the lens of another universe. Don't care if it's cringe, at least I'm free. And if you're interested, search for Ordem Paranormal on YouTube! Recently, a special two-shot has been released with global creators, it's all in English. Other seasons have been subtitled in English as well. :)

[pisspope]

okay birthday hcs part 2 but now its reiners bday instead still modern!au because otherwise shit would be anachronistic honestly all credit to @mercifulmudkip because i was just gonna let my other hcs sit on their own but. truly they lit a fire under my ass. i guess cw for a little bit of angst but it's pretty negligible

so fr fr reiner does Not celebrate his birthday unprompted. in canon he straight up wants to [demonetize] himself so even in the modern day he's not into it

last birthday he probably really enjoyed was as a kid. it was tmnt themed and he, bert, annie, and marcel were each a turtle. zeke, their babysitter, was splinter. porco was practically still in diapers but was already antagonizing them as shredder. reiner has fond memories of this but certainly sees it as all in the past

but after he made your birthday so special u are on a MISSION. rounding up the whole gang to make this truly The Number One Birthday Party

i wanna say surprise party because otherwise he would drag his feet about having a celebration so? he certainly can't know about it beforehand

u tell him on the weekend that ur going over to pieck and porcos shared teeny tiny house to celebrate piecks birthday (theyre literally 4 days apart) and honestly thats not really a lie! he just doesnt know its a Joint birthday party

pieck is also 100% in on the surprise even though its her party too. helps porco set up streamers, blow up balloons, etc.

pieck, porco, and annie try to hang stuff from the ceiling but can't reach. bertholdt just walks up behind all three of them with some tape and sticks everything up in rapid succession. annie "you really need to invest in a stepladder." pieck "why would i get a stepladder when i can just ask bert to do it :)?"

falco and gabi were originally enlisted to help but when they found porcos nerf guns they were sent to the backyard

everyone had played with the idea of hiding behind couches, turning lights off, doing the whole "Surprise Party" thing, but eventually decided against it in case it sent poor reiner into a full blown panic attack

instead, its more subtle. when you hop into reiners front seat with two presents, u tell him that u found something at the store that you just couldn't resist. also technically not a lie!

when u pull up to the party, porco is sitting on the front step vaping or something. ring of pineapple smoke around his head. "hey its the birthday bo- I mean, fuck -- wasn't your birthday a couple days ago? haha, weird." nice save, pock

the party is small and intimate, but by no means quiet. pieck has put on some hyperpop to try to keep awake while annie is absolutely dominating bert in smash bros. they always bring it as a party game but no one wants to play with annie because she absolutely wipes the floor every time. reiner has never picked up a switch controller and has, in fact, just discovered that his work computer has minesweeper

after some mingling u all gather around the table for Birthday Dinner. reiner walks in the kitchen and sees two small cakes but thinks its just got something to do with falcos peanut allergy and shrugs it off

everyone sings happy birthday to pieck and after she blows out the candles gabi waves her hands and says "one! more! time!" reiner is all raised eyebrows and confused expression as porco brings out the second cake and places it in front of him at the table

my boy literally starts tearing up as everyone starts a rousing encore of the birthday song. looks at u, eyes shiny, KNOWS u had a hand in this. whispers a soft 'thank you' to u before he blows out the candles and makes his wish

when its time for presents he finally puts two and two together about u bringing two gifts in the car. can practically see the lightbulb above his head. holds the small package in his hands like its going to break apart or disappear. "you didn't have to get me anything. this is more than enough."

it's a little digital camera, nothing fancy, maybe two different modes for landscape shots and close-ups. but it's perfect.

he sets it up to charge in the kitchen while everyone is cleaning up, then meets back in the living room to hang out. gabi and falco have joined annie and bertholdts game, and pieck is fading fast on porcos shoulder while he scrolls on his phone

reiner sits down next to you on the couch, and is not slow to take you into his arms, head resting on top of yours. "You had a hand in this, didn't you?" his voice is resonant and deep, and u can feel the vibration where his neck touches the side of ur head. u nod and look up at him. "a little."

he kisses the top of ur head, breathes in the scent of u. "remind me to take a picture before we leave. i don't ever want to forget today."

he lines everyone up for a photo but has no clue how to set a timer or anything, so he ends up poking his head in at the last moment. ends up looking like absolute shit, out of focus with a big blond blur right on the side of the frame. porco cant stop laughing at it. "babys first selfie" he calls it

but reiner loves it. to him, that blurry picture is like a trophy or a treasure. hed make it his desktop background if he had any clue how

he takes a couple more pictures and decides to experiment more with it later. just enjoys the evening, the company, the feeling of your hand in his

and if gabi steals the camera and takes a candid photo of you two sharing a kiss, well… he'll find out eventually

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins The Yearling

This is a movie where there isn't much to say because it's such a simple movie. However I like the simple charm of it, anything like this in the settler/pioneer time period is going to be interesting at least a little. On the other hand I'm not as much a fan of the setting as I am for some other similar stories. The marshy swampland homestead doesn't speak to me the same way as a little house on the prairie or a winter cabin in the woods.

That being said when a story is simple and wholesome it can also be boring at times. However there is one rather exciting but pretty brutal part. There is a scene where a pack of dogs fight off a bear…and there were no camera tricks, no special effects…they just literally filmed dogs fighting a bear. At first I thought maybe the animals were trained really well and none of them were actually trying to hurt each other…then I watched the bear practically suplex one of the dogs and I realized…no this is just from an era where you could just make animals fight and hurt each other on camera for the sake of the movie. Now I'm no PETAfag, I'll gladly kill and eat a bear but I don't see any sense in being needlessly cruel to animals and abusing them for entertainment in a film doesn't qualify as a legitimate reason to harm an animal. Especially when it's called the Yearling and centers around a boy taking care of an animal. So that didn't sit right with me but not in a way where it would ruin the whole movie.

I also think the anachronistic acting is kind of funny because you have an actor who is clearly not a southener saying words like Tabacci with clear dignified enunciation, and not even really attempting to speak like someone who actually had that accent..but he says the words like as though he did have the accent. It's ridiculous but again it can be looked past because most of the acting from this era was pretty bad by todays standard.

I also kind of hate the music, all these old movies from this era had that same super high pitched ambient wailing/singing where you can't hear a word of it. Part of the reason is the tinny sound quality being awful but even if it was perfect with modern audio I can't see enjoying it.

One of the problems I had plotwise is their explanation for why the mom is so cunty, I didn't buy at all. "I lost a child so I'm mean to the one I have now"…what kind of sense does that make. The man buys her a gift and she yells at him for being stupid for wasting money. Like I get the point is that it's a hard life and even minor luxuries we would view as neccessities were rare and ill advised given how close to the edge they lived…however you can make that point graciously. You can insist something is too much and that you don't need expensive gifts…and also accept them graciously instead of yelling till everyone clears the room and only admitting to yourself you appreciated it in private.

Also spoiler alert if you plan to see this now ancient movie and haven't yet. I also don't get the ending, making the kid kill his pet himself, him running away almost getting himself killed. I really didn't understand any of the characters in this, maybe it's that the characters are supposed to be that way, maybe it's that it's a story from another time and place, but I just thought all the main characters behaved kind of ridiculously. And I didn't like the message of the movie either and the obvious comparisons between the deer growing and the boy growing up. The whole message is life sucks and now you know how badly its gonna fuck you. On the one hand part of the reason it sucks is because you forced the boy to kill his own pet for no reason and then let him nearly die in the woods, that's not a life thing that's a you fucked up thing. There could have been a message about how life is difficult and part of growing up is realizing that without presenting such a bleak and tragic view of the world.

In the end I don't think this movie was for me, because by the end I was wondering why they hadn't already eaten the fucking deer, personally I think they tolerated it nearly ruining them for way too long. Just don't make the boy do it himself. Kill it take it to your neighbours and trade the meat with them so you don't kill the animal for nothing and so the boy doesn't have to eat his own pet. Trade the venison for some pork. There were so many common sense ways this could have worked out better that to blame it on life in general, even considering that theirs was a harder life...doesn't make sense.

Overall wasn't terrible C-

[my-brain-on-hold]

Friends with L

On school oval

start to drift apart

In platformer type place, sort of train/steam themed

It's like we're playing a videogame, but I am there

We are jumping, moving around. surviving

threats, obstacles

One is a large sledgehammer -like thing, that swings down into you

In another place, we are both looking for work.

I get an offer, I hesitate and don't take it

L is frustrated with this, he is still looking and here I am letting an opportunity pass me by

The hammer swings, I jump to pass it

but my timing is off, L launches himself into me and pushes me past the danger of the hammer.

I watch him get taken by the hammer and into the dark abyss of its path, and I scream

I land safely on the other side, and pick up L's phone. All that is left of him.

In another place I'm back on the oval, L is not there

I ask the others about this and they don't seem too bothered. I check L's phone,

Last active, yesterday

Time passes and I continue to check the phone

Last active 1 week ago

Last active 10 days ago

Last active 3 weeks ago

Last active 2 months ago

It seems like his existence is beginning to fade more and more, even for me.

No. This can't be it.

I return to the platformer place and the hammer.

I stare at the dark abyssal space that had swallowed him that day. Where does it go? where did he go? Is it a hole?

But it has a surface. Is it a solid wall and he just got obliterated?

No, it has soft edges and an indistinct surface. Like a blur. Like something not meant to obstruct, but to obscure!

I stand up and brace myself before jumping into the black space. I feel nothing besides my feet land on the floor.

It's just an empty space!

There's nothing in here, L isn't here either.

Actually there is, a small black object on the floor.

It's another phone, an older flip phone. L's actual phone!

I look through the contacts and find all kinds of information. Including numbers of people at a job I have never heard of.

It's an theme park/chocolate factory-esque/film set. I arrive and immediately recognise the tall, large person in a themed costume who is welcoming guests. It's L

He has a maroon coloured vest, and dark button-up shirt. Long, baggy, silky pants in maroon and gold stripes in a way that appears that he is on stilts to people who don't know his regular height. He wears a themed mask and a top hat with the same colour scheme as the pants.

It seems he did get an offer, but he didn't tell me.

Maybe he felt he could only succeed in this if it was without me?

I wonder if he notices me as well, I am in a costume too, dressed to look like a young english boy from the victorian age, similar to Oliver twist, complete with a flat cap.

I am also here because I have been cast for a part in a film that is being made by the park. I move past L and continue to the set.

At the set I sit in an anachronistic, bronze coloured wheelchair that looks more steampunk than authentic to the era. We rehearse and I play my part.

I do my best to use the wheelchair, but the handles on the wheels which are used to move it along are tricky.

The first take I turn around with far too wide of a turning circle.

The director is a little frustrated but I think she can see I'm improving with each take.

I turn well this time, much cleaner and more believable for someone who uses a wheelchair. She seems happier now.

On one take I fall out of the chair and stand up to stope myself from hitting the ground.

The director chuckles and stands up with her hands in the air

'It's a miracle!'

We all have a laugh and the mood feels lighter now. she smiles and sits back down

'Alright, back to your places!'

The rest of the day goes well. After filming I go with some castmates to one of the theme park's cafes.

I ask for some drinks and some food at the counter

I turn back to my new friends and see one of the other employees working behind the counter, a tall man with striped pants and long blond hair coming down out of a similarly striped tophat.

This time he knows. I know.

I watch him move to to the cakes and pastry shelf as he takes out the muffins I have ordered.

Through the glass I see his eyes in the eye slots of his mask. They are slightly red, and in them I see tiredness and some pain. But not for himself; I also see fulfilment. It's the same look I realise I had seen on L's face frequently enough before he disappeared.

END OF DREAM

[lookwhatilost]

nu-simpsons fascinates me. not even because its bad (though it generally is), but it's just so goddamn weird. its this thing that's gone on for so long, that cannot change yet can't not change, anachronistic cultural signifiers all jumbled up. it feels reflective of our time. it's not just that it's a long running series or brand. lots of stuff runs long. but it's the combination of what changes and what doesn't, that's so wierdly dislocating. so much of the tone and iconography and character archetypes just don't fit in the 21st century.

setting aside lore or whatever, just as a type of guy, as a personality, as a drawing, homer is not a guy that was born in 1986. he didn't play sonic the hedgehog and watch street sharks as a kid. he didn't listen to foo fighters. he didn't play halo 2 on xbl as a teenager. it wouldn't be weird if homer just didn't age. if he was just always a teenager in the 70s no matter what year it is now. but they've done this retcon sliding timescale thing twice (gen x homer and millennial homer) and it's just so goddamn weird.

we are not stuck in the past but the past and future are combined into a kind of endless plane of perpetual present where nothing begins or ends, but is instead a moebius strip – always moving but going nowhere, changing without changing, stuck but accelerating. instead of doing like a newspaper comic thing where the character and world are just the same, or acknowledging the passage of time by letting them age/change, or rebooting idk... instead you have this netherworld thing and everytime I encounter it I feel like dr. manhattan.

it is 1994, homer fondly remembers listening to grand funk railroad and is confused by the hip new music of sonic youth and smashing pumpkins. it is 2024, homer fondly remembers listening to eminem and linkin park.

send them home man. send them back to the 90s. this is cruel. it's like the enigma of amigara fault type shit. all stretched out and deformed. we're destroying everything we love by being unable to let it go. to let it end, to let it be finite and make peace with mortality. and profit motive of course, but there'd be no money in running shit so hard into the ground it pokes a kangaroo in the ass if we, as a culture, couldn't let shit go.

you don't want more simpsons, or star wars, or aliens or predator. you just want to feel the way you did when you first experienced them, when they where new. but it's the newness that you want, and will never get, by playing re-animator with past loves – chasing a chimera. you can't have the comfort of the family and the exhilaration of the new. both are fine but chasing the latter while clinging to that former gives you neither. let the stories we love end naturally, and make room for new ones.

on that note, I do think there's a sense of reverence for mid-late 20th century culture. like we can't really do anything different or better, which limits our creative cultural horizon. like we want indiana jones 6 because we can't imagine a exciting, novel new adventure story.

[crinosg]

You think there would be historical records of this, you think someone would come up to Superman and be like:

Student: Superman Hey, I got a question, you are the first Kryptonian on Earth right?

Superman: That I know of?

Student: Well there's just this drawing in a medieval manuscript of this famous historical battle where a seemingly invincible knight showed up out of nowhere wearing your colors and your symbol, and just laid waste to everyone in his path, then vanished without a trace.

Superman:....whaaaaat?

Student: Here, look, its like the same exact symbol.

*Superman looks at manuscript* Whaaaaaat?

Student: I know right? Its so weird, like I always thought you based your costume off this guy then you told everyone its a Kryptonian symbol for hope and I was like...

*Booster Gold appears the fuck out of nowhere and slaps manuscript out of guys hands*

Booster: Alright that's enough out of you. *turns to Superman* Just ignore this guy, this whole thing is just a set up by the... fuck what was he called, goddammit..

Superman: The Prankster?

Booster: Yeah the Prankster. He's behind it, go beat him up.

Superman: Sure okay I guess... *Flies off*

Student: But this book is hundreds of years old, it can't be a forgery I got it from the library of congress.

Booster: Shut the fuck up. Shut. The fuck. Up. You want the time space continuum to explode? Because that's whats gonna happen.

Student: Uhhhh....

Booster: *Sigh* Look, super heroes travel in time, it happens. Whenever you see someone who looks like a super hero appearing in anachronistic stuff, just ignore it and don't mention it.

Student: Oh, okay.

Booster: Cool, and sorry I yelled and kicked your expensive book. Here, have a coupon for Sbarros.

Student: Sbarros?

Booster: I own stock okay?

Student: right...*walks off*

Rip Hunter: *appears out of nowhere* Flawless. 10/10. No notes.

Booster: Don't start okay? Its been a day.

"We think this panel speaks for itself"

What can I say, I really like these historically inaccurate and yet aesthetically pleasing Superman costumes

From All-Star Comics #64 (1977) by Wally Wood & Paul Levitz

[on-a-lucky-tide]

alright, so "just one bed"! for the fanfic tropes

Now, Akhuna, my dear. You have unleashed a small, caffeine-addled demon with this ask. Because the way it is often approached in our beloved shared fandom? Graded U. It doesn't do it for me. Here's why.

In the Witcher, specifically, with its medieval/early modern aesthetic with occasional smatterings of anachronistic scientific theory/technology, the "just one bed" trope causes me a bit of cognitive dissonance. I know the Witcher isn't intended to be set in medieval/early modern Europe, but the costuming, the setting, the dynamics of their society, etc. It feels like that time period, so that brings me to a point.

In the medieval and early modern period, sharing a bed was not a big thing.

In fact, it was expected.

Whole families would sleep in one bed, because the bed was often the most expensive thing in the house and all but the very richest could only afford one. People were expected to share communal beds with strangers in inns, and my favourite example comes from as late as 1776 when Thomas Jefferson and John Adams famously shared a bed and spent the whole time bickering about the open window and blankets.

Communal sleeping wouldn't be unusual for Geralt, Lambert, Eskel, Jaskier, etc. But you could add a Witcher flair to the trope?

Perhaps Witchers aren't allowed to share communal sleeping areas because they're diseased/ostracised, etc. So, the first few years on the Path are extra hard, because they're used to the communal sleeping arrangements of Kaer Morhen. They're cold. Uncomfortable. But then, the first time Dandelion drags Geralt into the communal bed with a "don't be silly, Geralt, it's too bloody cold for this idiocy", and Geralt gets to curl up in the warm and have a good night's sleep? Because Dandelion is at his back and keeping him safe?

Or, or, maybe Geralt wants to communally sleep but the smell and sounds are too disruptive. Humanity smells different to a Witcher. He can't handle it, and Dandelion worries about Geralt out in the cold. One of Dandelion's fondest memories of his first visit to Kaer Morhen was watching Geralt get to bundle in with his family and properly sleep rather than the half-arsed meditation he did on the Path.

I just think "there was only one bed" could pull a lot more weight than we let it, when it's properly woven into the context of the story and characters we're applying it to, you know?

Anyway, much love. Thank you for the ask.

[chocolatepot]

Watching Persuasion (2022) ... It's as bad as promised. Overall, my feeling is that it's a soulless, algorithmically-determined production meant to attract fans of Bridgerton. It doesn't go hard enough in any artistic direction to justify the problems and just isn't a fun watch.

The opening flashback feels like they think the viewer is stupid and won't be able to imagine them having been in love if they don't actually see them on the screen.

Of course he hasn't written, they're not allowed to write if they're not engaged! Her lying around crying and bathing and drinking wine and looking through the box of things he gave her makes her seem pathetic, like she has no life apart from her regret.

Mary's letter ( :( ) made me laugh, okay. But they're ramping up the family's cruelty toward her, which is frustrating - the thing in the book is that she's overlooked and they're thoughtlessly unkind, they don't go out of their way to insult her.

Anne smiling and giggling with Mrs. Croft over Frederick ... what the fuck ...

Why does she always carry around this rabbit?? WTF??

I actually like the Fleabaggian asides as a concept, it's a good one for Austen, but what Anne actually says in them is too sharp. Same as what everyone says.

Henrietta and Louisa being like Anne's gal pals is frustrating, she's effectively an older generation than them even though there's only a ~10yr age difference. They shouldn't be trying to set her up with Wentworth, they consider her too old to get married and want him themselves, what the fuck! There's making changes in interpretation of characters and then there's ... decimating the entire point of the story?

Charles Musgrove is cute 😍

Yelling out the fucking window?!?! What?

Oh god the jam-on-the-face scene, this is so painful and """relatable""" and I hate it. Your life does fucking lack purpose, Anne, you do nothing except think about him and lie around.

Having Anne initiate avoiding Frederick is like ... I just don't understand the characterization.

Ugh Louisa why are you dissuading the marriage talk, this is what you should want.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH ANNE VOLUNTEERING THAT CHARLES WANTED TO MARRY HER FIRST WHAT THE FUCK that was SO painful

This is not dance music. I will give them points for doing the over-the-head waltz pose rather than just a basic anachronistic Playford country dance, though.

"He was so distant last night" you fucking ran away from him! Screaming into her pillow for him to love her - then why are you avoiding him?

Obligatory running in the woods scene, can't be considered "modern" and "relatable" if you don't run in the woods. Um, the English were not super into the French Revolution, I realize this makes her politically palatable to the audience but ... she's basically encouraging them to play at being the people trying to kill Wentworth.

"The boy could have been hurt" the boys were hitting her with sticks while she crouched on the ground!

Mary is actually the best thing about this adaptation. She is genuinely funny.

"Don't I?" Anne no you don't seem interested in him at all. (Also, she has the Turn-Down Collar of Relatable Modernity.)

Aw, we're losing the little fight over Henrietta going to see Charles Hayter. Because that would mean she was competing with Louisa for Wentworth and we can't depict women competing over a man because that wouldn't be Relatable, I guess.

ANNE IS FUCKING PEEING AGAINST A TREE WITHIN LISTENING DISTANCE OF LOUISA AND FREDERICK OH MY GOD

I don't generally use the term "virtue signaling" because it's mainly used by total assholes, but the extent that this production is going out of its way to make Louisa and Henrietta have a Positive and Healthy Relationship with Anne, Women Supporting Women, etc., I would have to call it virtue signaling. It is actively detrimental to the story!

Anne being eloquent and telling Wentworth off at dinner kind of came out of nowhere. It also feels like a bit of a replacement for the "fine ladies" bit that's been cut out.

In general, I don't hate the modern talk, but it would be better if that were just how the characters spoke. It jars because most of the time they speak reasonably like it's the Regency and then suddenly you have "sorry, Agamemnon joke" or "5 in London, 10 in Bath" or what have you.

Having Wentworth stand there glaring at Mr. Elliot for talking to Anne is just awkward, feels like they're trying to layer a Darcy/Wickham thing over their relationship.

Anne and Wentworth really speak too much in this. Together, I mean. What is the purpose of this conversation between them on the beach? I guess it's meant to show that he still has concern/regard for her but like, that comes through very well in the novel.

Being friends is a step up, you idiot! You are expected to be friends with the person you marry. Why are you walking into the sea?? Oh, of course she can swim very well, she's Modern and Relatable.

Louisa has been made so sensible that the jumping scene now makes no sense. And the whole point of the scene is that Anne finally takes a more active role and actually exchanges words with Wentworth so ... that's a dud now as well.

They share a whole carriage ride alone together from Lyme to Kellynch????

Oh FFS I was 🤔 enough at Lady Russell being made a wholly positive person, but she talks about sex with Anne and says she goes on European tours to have lovers? It's nice for Anne that she has all of these confidants and people who support her, but that's just ... not the story of Persuasion!

I hate hate hate the trend of dressing all of the characters except the heroine in reasonably accurate clothing and then being more artistic and stripped-down and modern with the heroine. It just isn't that clever. Like, sure, the first time, but it just looks like the designer got lazy and pulled everyone else's costumes from a bin. Lady Russell gets the same treatment which imo is making her too much on Anne's wavelength.

Uh ... so Mr. Elliot is just admitting his whole plan right out to Anne, basically?

Not enough Richard E. Grant in this.

Okay, the gold teacup is a bit funny. Not the slurping but the ostentation. Oh no Anne what the fuck are you doing what is this dream this is so painful and insane

More turn-down collars of modernity ... I hate this trope

Anne is talking up Elliot to Wentworth. This is ... the exact opposite of the book scene, the point of which was that they were starting to come together but were interrupted by Elliot. Anne using her cousin to make Wentworth jealous is just gross behavior.

Mrs. Clay's cleavage is so anachronistic, but I'll allow it. For personal reasons.

Anne's all pleased and surprised at Mr. Elliot's proposal. Um, that's not Anne. She knows she doesn't want him the whole time. And that damn rabbit again!

ANNE DRINKS SO MUCH. What is this obsession with making her a wine girl?

Whoa, having Anne discover Elliot and Mrs. Clay making out in public is uh quite a thing. Wraps that up without the need for Mrs. Smith, I guess.

Looking at all the couples in the church ... stealing from Pride and Prejudice '95, hm? But lol, like all these people would have come to the wedding of Mr. Elliot and Mrs. Clay. It would have been at least semi-scandalous and he doesn't have any money (although I guess he is rich in this one). This ending also feels like stealing from '05.

[ot3]

on the ‘what do they become divorced from their original context’ the answer is dry as hell i’m afraid to confirm ! it’s like the people who uwuify south park characters, modern tumblr and twitterina tweens don’t seem able to comprehend the old culture orz …

no but the thing is the south park people are FULLY delusional like there is LITERALLY nothing to south park but outdated 'ant-pc' humor and crude art. i have seen a lot lot lot of south park and am speaking with an extensive amount of knowledge on the series and the characters are incredibly 2 dimensional and the show has little to no overarching narrative aside from a few vague plotlines. so like to turn that into shippable fandom fodder you have to be fully removed from reality

RVB, ON THE OTHER HAND, has a heart and sincerity to it that south park completely lacks. the characters are not exactly super complex but they have a nuance to them that is definitely more than the south park characters are allowed because RVB is a narrative show, not an episodic one. there is conceptually something here that makes sense to engage with from a Fandom perspective. which is why its so fucking funny to me because like.

okay like i haven't seen much of the south park Fandom so i know that this exists. but i dont think its the majority. like. i think most people's attempt to reckon with the horrific ideology south park peddles is the 'its satire' defense. they don't want to completely defang the source material. RVB fans on the other hand seem to want exactly that. like there are a bunch of people who seem to be under the impression that if you stripped out all of the jokes made at the expense of minorities rvb would still somehow not only be funny, but actually better. and i just literally don't think that's true because as much as the shitty very un-pc jokes are jokes in and of themselves, the larger impact of it is the pinpoint accuracy with which the show preserves This Exact Kind Of Guy Anyone Who Was Alive In The 00s Knew. like you lose out SO much of what makes the show Hit if the characters aren't Those Guys.

so when you want to like, woke-ify that canon and bring modern standards of acceptable humor + make these characters have something approximating the mainstream contemporary understanding of queer theory, disability activism, and critical race theory, i think you'd end up genuinely doing a disservice to the show. i'm not trying to say Actually, Calling People the R Slur Is High Art And You Can't Get Rid Of It (the gay jokes however ARE high art and i can say that) but i will say that i genuinely think RVB has a lot of value as a time capsule for early post-9/11 american ennui and i do think attempting to sanitize it would remove the authenticity.

south park is on the other hand a LOT more anachronistic in it's vibe, and the characters in that show aren't a direct 1:1 stand in for any type of real subculture that existed because the characters adopt whatever contemporary bigotry is the exact right level of edgy for the current set of writers. some south park episodes, individually, are of their era but overall the show isn't a meta-level Period Piece in the way RVB is. the show doesn't HAVE that authenticity because it lacks a coherent perspective or ideology to align itself with. i dont know what im saying anymore what were we talking about. this got away from me.

thesis statement: south park shippers are fully removed from reality but people who want red vs blue characters to talk to each other about the split attraction model are slightly less removed from reality, which actually makes it worse