#it can be healthy if done correctly and by god im gonna do it right | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

beaversatemygrandma · 2 years ago

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Ya know, I’ve been thinking about the whole slut shaming thing. Mostly bc of the fact that i have indeed been the slut shamed.

Like, back when i had my first outside of a relationship hookup (literally, the third person i ever slept with. Like. That’s not a lot. I’ve seen ‘good xtian girls’ with more) I ended up having my ex’s friends turn on me along with him, all of them going on and on about how I was a whore who didn’t get enough love from my mother and that’s why i was sleeping around bc I allegedly needed love from others to love myself or some bullshit. Number 3. At Number Fucking 3. Just bc it was casual. And then, fast forward five years, I’ve given up on listening to that bullshit. I’ve had a few adventures of my own. Getting cozy in figuring out what my sexuality is. And now, with a much higher number, I’ve told somebody, and they’re like ‘Hell yeah, get it’ And that’s the kind of person you want to keep around. Like it took me years to not feel bad about my ‘slut habits’ when they’re very much not that (well, if it’s coming from somebody else and not me. I’ll call myself that but if You say that? Nah. Nope. Get out.) Like the amount of times you hear all that hurts. It’s all just the xtian values of ‘purity’ and whatever. Just manmade ethics that lead you to living in fear of literally just doing things as harmless as finding pleasure or yourself. Kinda like that one post going about where somebody said the whole rose metaphor. Your future husband won’t even notice any petals missing until after you hit like 10 petals. Either way, you’re not a flower. You’re not going to lose anything if you decide to have sex. Just stay safe so you don’t catch any unwanted diseases or a baby or smth. (Unless you want to, I’m not you, but be careful.)

Idk where i was going here, but just have sex if you want to, unless you don’t, then don’t and don’t let anybody say otherwise. You are you. Fuck who says otherwise. Sleep with whoever you want. As long as it’s consensual and not involving minors, just Do It. Find out what you’re into. Have fun with it.

#taks speaks #also don't keep talking to your possessive ex who thinks he still has rights to your body when he didnt in the first place #that's gross and not okay #we broke up and he had no say in the fact that i was trying things out #i don't want to say the current number but after getting THAT from THREE damn #it'd be funny to inform him of the updates since then #like 'hey guess what? I'm gettin some and i bet you can't do anything bc you're a controlling and abusive piece of shit'#then block again bc he's been blocked on everything since all that shit #and that thing where the cops had to be called but whatever #besides having the possibility of open relationships with full communication #far more than what was in that relationship #knowing that's a thing it just makes me feel so much better about those actions #it can be healthy if done correctly and by god im gonna do it right #idk the idea of this poly thing makes me anxious but at the same time super happy #the anxiety might be the xtian values pounded into my head from living in southeast usa where theres a church on every corner #but whatever. this could make me happy so i'll do it

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ccsthemovie2 · 4 years ago

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Character-Clow Reed

(avril lavingne voice) WHYD YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO CLOWMPLICATEEEED I SEE THE WAY YOURE ACTING LIKE YOURE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS ME FRUSTRATED- ok jokes aside LETS GOOOOO

Why I like them:

for all my angry yelling and kicking and complaining you may be surprised to learn that clow(riol) is one of my favorite parts of ccs!

i think that having the Mystery and Legend of a long-dead wizard that hangs over sakura’s head at the start get light shed on it more and more so that we can see he’s just a person makes the world of ccs feel small and personal. it really stabilizes the heart of the series, what i love most about ccs- that it’s a story about individuals and the choices they make. the magic itself all traces back to one man and the way he felt it was right to act and to treat other people. i think he’s a fascinating character and a very very good choice of central figure.

Why I don’t:

THAT SAID, AAAAAGHHHHH HE IS HORRIBLE HE IS JUST A TERRIBLE LITTLE MAN I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SOOOO MUCH. even putting aside everything he* pulls as eriol, just the things he does as clow reed make me SO upset....LYING ABOUT HIS DEATH??? ELABORATE SETUP TO PRETEND KERO AND YUE HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER OF CHOOSING THE NEW CARD MASTER BUT ACTUALLY KNOWING ALL ALONG AND HAVING A SPECIAL MAGIC ITEM MADE TO SEE THAT IT GETS DONE??? BREEZING INTO A TOWN TO STEAL A FORTUNE TELLER’S BUSINESS, GETTING HER NICE AND KATE BEATON NEMESIS.PNG’D, AND THEN IGNORING HER FOREVER??? it’s bad!! *(it’s complicated,) ive said this jokingly before but i think he just doesnt even think about other people having agency, that he’s not trampling but Guiding and Helping. i think part of his controlfreakiness is also a deep fear that he’s not enough, that he can’t keep a friend on his own merits so he’s gotta get his claws sunk in as much as possible, whether by emotionally living rent free in people’s heads or magical dependance. and that’s not a uniquely horrible belief, yknow, i think it’s very human and normal, but the problem is no one can criticize him. not with the amount of control he has over the people he surrounds himself with, the fact that he can physically shut down kero and yue any time he likes, etc. it’s not that power inherently Makes You Evil, it’s that power made it harder for people to say “hey stop that”, and if no ones telling him to stop then he must be doing fine!

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

GENUINE TIE BETWEEN THE BACK TO THE PAST EP OF THE ANIME AND THE SAKURA SEES THE TRUTH SCENE IN MANGA. i think both of them are great- the tightly controlled dreamy guided tour where she sees just what he wants her to see, AND sakura outpowering him and seeing the reality of his lies. in the manga when sakura sees him gives gentle headkisses to kero and yue before putting them to bed and eriol+fujitaka-ing i go AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ....... THEY LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS TERRIBLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUU MY HEART. i headcanon that’s when he mind-messed with them, too, i think he had to touch them to do it and that was how.

Favorite season/movie:

bold answer but im going to say the implications left behind in the clow card arc of Why Do Cards Act Like That/Have Those Specialties. what about clow made him want to make a voice-stealing card, a small-object-moving-card, a body-swap card, etc? it’s good questions.

Favorite line:

in the mokona book when they say he said dogs dont have owners they have housemates, bc that explains SOOOOO much abt him and how he treated kero and yue lololol. if you think being a pet owner and a roomate are the same you’re gonna treat your roomates, uhhhm, bad.

also if eriol counts its him in the wonderland ep like YOU DONT KNOW IF IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON TO PRETEND TO BE A CAT and I THINK YOU AND LI ARE SO DUMB I HAVE TO BITE MY TONGUE CONSTANTLY TO NOT INSULT YOU and BUT I CANT ACT LIKE THIS OR KERO AND YUE WILL KNOW IM CLOW. so like. was clow just like that then.

Favorite outfit:

uh his regular clothes are cool. theres an illustration on him in this cool coat with like a sun pin on it too. whenever i draw him in something frilly i have a huge brain. cant deny the guy has style and aesthetics. sakura’s first staff, look at it!! the style it has!!!

OTP:

im neutral-positive on clowyuuko cuz i havent holic’d since high school. you can refer to the answer i gave abt yue for clowyue thoughts (tl;dr: [touches ground] “something terrible happened here” ). madoushi is just kate beaton nemesis comic.

i think it would be funny if albus dumbledore was his ex.

Brotp

yuuko again i guess? and him and all his creations. headcanon territory even though that’s actually the next question but you asked for my thoughts so here they are: i think of him as trying to be a sort of fun camp counselor or teacher type for kero+yue and the cards- specifically a role with an authority behind it, but without the same sort of responsibility that a parent would have. or, i guess, lacking an unconditional love, always an undertone of you having to prove yourself. someone who you go to to learn from, but if he likes can also go “no no im just like you, now let’s have fun!”. it’s hard to explain, but there’s a difference.

what i’m trying to get at here is i think it’s significant that the only creations he has that we see him truly ‘raise’, (going by the info+lack of it we have, anyway, i fill in the blank for myself that kero and yue and the cards all showed up full of knowledge, fully formed, CLAMP DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!), were the mokonas, with yuuko. it was another person’s influence that brought a parental attitude in, it’s not something he ever wanted to be. there’s also a healthy dose of “yue textually had a crush on clow and i will not, no way, let you make that any more unfortunate than that already is”, i’ll admit, but i think that’s just a puzzle piece of the whole theory here. i think it would also be funny if he knew people like tolkein (eriol’s a tolkeinverse name if i remember correctly) and c.s. lewis (side note, i find the fact that clow is an actively practicing christian really funny), but i dont want to think too deeply about that sort of realworld mix, yknow.

Head Canon:

i think pranks were highly encouraged in his house and none of the clow cards are being intentionally destructive, just acting in ways that were totally normal at home, and are genuinely shocked to learn that people will get seriously injured without clow there to cushion their damage.

Unpopular opinion:

evil

A wish:

i wanna know what his pre-story days were like, his life with the cards, his life BEFORE the cards,

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

^ same the above but i find it out from clamp

5 words to best describe them:

did you know? clow sucks

My nickname for them:

clown, :kingboo: (discord emoji of him with a 🚫 over it), “the bastard jester himself” (which is, or at least was, in comedian-podcaster stephen buckleys twitter bio and i think it abt clow frequently, sorry stephen buckley), king of living rent free in people’s heads

#ask

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inkskinned · 6 years ago

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literally just a dumb unorganized list of school tips

source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole

just say “professor” either ur using the correct title for a person (will make them feel good) or you’re giving them a bigger title on the assumption they deserve it (which will make them feel good) and also prevents having to ever i mean ever use their names

talk at least 1 time a week in each class, aim for 1 time a day. even lecture classes. i fucking hate talking in front of more than 5 people, so what i would do is prepare a question about the hw/etc (even if i didn’t need it answered) to ask the professor after class so they saw me and got used to me and saw i was invested in their class. about 89% of teachers - if they see you try, they will pass you. i mean it’s literally that easy. i know people who went from like a c- but because they legit tried, their grade got bumped up to a b-.

if u have to bring a laptop, pre-download the required material/screenshot it, and then turn off your wifi. it’s too easy to not listen.

physical writing will always give you more information recall over typing.

nobody cares about stupid shit anymore trust me they don’t remember that you were accidentally locked in a towel out of your room bc they have their own dumb shit that happened.... in college all the “cringe culture” turns into “god i wish that were me” culture ... wear ur onesie to a party trust me you make +800 friends and 799 of them will be girls telling you you’re adorable and they’d die for you

about locking urself out.... if ur like me and can breeze past post-it notes placed in obvious areas, don’t be a dumb bitch and rely on post-it-notes. while most schools offer 1 free lockout, dont rely on it - it once took 2 hours before someone could get to me. i was in a towel, which meant no phone. so like. anyway, what i do now is i put something on the handle of the door i have to open/unlock. i can’t just open the door w/out the thing falling down and making a loud “you dumb bitch unlock the door before u shower” sound.

this works for all important don’t-forget it things. other obstacles i’ve used to remind myself to do something include: putting a chair with my wholeass posterboard in front of the door, an entire printer with a single piece of paper that just read “for the love of god check to be sure you have that essay”, and a recycling bin i kept forgetting to empty. guess what bitch finally emptied the bin once it was between me and a swift exit!

no offense and like the whole “it’s the best years of your life!” thing is great but in reality everything goes better scholastically when you treat it as “i came here to win, not to make friends.” i still did make friends, went to parties every weekend, was popular enough i’d be invited to several on one night - but i came there to win. when i put my scholastic life and my mental health first, i went from a 2.0 to a 3.98. yes you can, bitch.

you’re spending the money. don’t squander it. trust me when i say i know plenty of people who breeze through, bc you often can. but like. don’t. challenge yourself bc like. talk about an investment.

if you hate your major, change it. don’t make your life something you can’t stand. on that note, do NOT agree 100% to a track until you have at least some experience in the field. i cannot tell u how many ppl i know who got their whole masters/phd program done, walked into their new profession, and were like, Oh Fuck, I Can’t Live Like This.

college literally offers so many free things and if you’re not taking advantage of them whenever possible i get it but like. try to take advantage of them. this is everything from your gym (which probably has free classes dude) to clubs to like. sober events. these sober events are so ... fuckin good dude i’ve made mason jars with little plants in em... bee aviaries... candles.... go to the free stuff

oh ps on free stuff i wanna say about 4 of 5 days there’s free food on campus just look for things like job fairs, presentations, or discussion groups. also while you’re there at the job fair like. u know, go to the job fair in earnest

i took off 2 years to work and also to just. recover from my bullshit. and it took me 6 years and 3 schools to get my bachelor’s. it wasn’t easy but bitch i lived. there’s no such thing as “too long” to graduate if that’s truly what you want to do.

if on the meal plan, eat as clean as you can the first week. then introduce each part of the cafeteria’s possibly-food-poisoning-creating foods one at a time. give @ least 2 days between each experiment so you know for sure if you get sick what caused it. i literally never eat meat at school but you can still get sick off of unwashed lettuce/salad dressing that hasn’t been refrigerated properly/weirdass things you won’t even think of. this prevents like. dying in a public bathroom.

white loaf bread can be gross & boring. discount bakery section for your slightly chewy artisianal bread needs. if overstale, either toast it or dunk it into water and microwave it (unless u got an oven. use the oven if u can)

steal as many apples from the dining hall/events/etc as physically possible just do it they keep FOREVER and @ some point you’ll be like. fUCK i need a nutrition. ps if you’re keeping them in ur backpack (i wouldn’t keep more than 2) make sure to wrap w/a few paper towels so if you drop your bag you don’t get apple mush

write it all down bitch. “i’ll remember it” no you won’t. unless you are capable of remembering every idea on this list and in order, you won’t remember it. in general, if you write something 3 times, you will recall it correctly at least 80% of the time. i also read it out loud to myself, bc, you know, auditory recall

DO NOT just put your assignment at the top of your notes, unless you’re 100% sure that will work for you. in most cases, it’s much better to have a planner/agenda/place you expect to look for assignments. +7 points if you lie to yourself about deadlines and move them all up.

like not to sound too much like a DARE ad but like. if you don’t like it/don’t want it, don’t fuckin do it. the idea that “there’s nothing to do if you don’t party” is such bullshit. like i promise if you’re like “i am a grouch and want to stay in and binge netflix” about 45 ppl will show up in pjs like “bitch fullscreen it, im a grouch too.” there’s also like. the chance to just.... not overindulge. on wednesdays i have “wine wednesdays” where we sit around and drink a glass of wine while we do our hw. it’s chill and friendly instead of like. drink until u vomit. don’t feel like you either gotta slam the breaks or the gas pedal, is what i mean.

PLEASE know the signs of alcohol poisoning/overdose. most schools have a “Safety Always Matters Most” policy, which means that you can call for help w/out getting into trouble. if you think someone is in danger, act. this also goes for making sure ppl get home safe even if they’re just incapacitated, not poisoned. step in, dudes.

also just. notice when ur starting to rely on stuff too much. i’m super easily addicted to things, so i keep a healthy distance from liquor. i don’t let myself “drink to feel better” bc that’s a scary, scary thing to link to feeling better. if you or somebody u know starts drinking all the time/gets anxious if they don’t drink/drinks in the daytime .... get help. schools have counselling services for a reason.

you’re gonna get a cold/flu of some sort in the first 2 months just brace for it. in the meantime, drink vitamin c, try not to touch too many handles, and when people say “there’s something going around” believe them.

watch kaplan nike just do it

if you can teach it, you know the material. a super good way of knowing if you studied the right way is to try and teach the material to a stuffed animal/imaginary class.

“i don’t know how to study” bitch me too the fuck. this is usually bc we’ve been taught that studying is just sitting down and staring @ ur notes. it’s not. it’s different for everyone, and you need to understand it’s 99% preventative care. if you don’t go to the class or do the homework, studying is going to fucking suck, bc you’re learning the material all at once for the first time. the place you should consider “studying” is “i’m confident in 70-90% of the material, but need to review.” do not let yourself fall behind .... just go to office hours and ask questions if ur not getting something. studying should feel like you’re remembering what you already knew but kinda forgot, not like you’ve been blindsided.

the whole “writing it down in ur own words” while u have been told this 700 times it really helps bc it means u gotta translate it through your own understanding. if you can’t, and it’s not bc the material seems too obvious to you to state in another way - ask yourself if you don’t understand the material. chances are u are missing a bit of info.

i know it’s like A Thing that Some People do but i never had the mental health points for it but i know some people just take 15 minutes after every class to review their notes. since i’m 100% early to every class ever, obnoxiously so, i try to do it before class. having the last class’s notes up in my head super helps. like. put down the phone i know you’re socially anxious me too but review those notes. chances are if u start flipping through pages other ppl will too. this is also fun bc as soon as you start this whole thing, at least one person will be like “is there a test?” no bitch there’s no test but im gonna be ready when there is!

literally so much of success is fucking posturing i could link about 800 peer-edited studies that show that when a student is expected to do well (and knows they are), they do well. like i literally didn’t change my appearance at all, never bothered to look nice (once winter hits i wear 67 layers all the time), but when i showed up after my 2 years off from school, i presented myself with the whole “i came here to win” vibe and people... really respected me? i mean in hs i remember ppl saying shit like “yeah, well, you aren’t gonna have the homework”. by the time i was in college i had an honest-to-god conversation which included someone being like “so tell me what you’re overachieving at right now” like they just expected it from me. wild.

i live by “bite off more than you can chew, and then CHEW IT” but it’s probably unhealthy. the truth is that i have a lot of energy all the time (lmao adhd!!!) and i used to get told i was “trying too hard” and for a long time (still???) i didn’t (i don’t?) know what that was, you know, bc i had a D average, clearly i wasn’t trying. it turns out i was just. putting all my energy into stuff that wasn’t making me happy like toxic friendships etc. when i decided “nope, all this energy is for me and my schoolwork”..... uhhhhh suddenly i was a golden child and everyone praised my try-hardness ... it’s a fuckt up system tbh

take at least 1 class just for fun. i try to do that every semester. it helps break up all the requirements. if you’re like an engineer and got no time or credits left to spend, try to audit your fun course.

make ur advisor love you i don’t care what it takes make them cupcakes show up to thank them i dONT CARE just do it

the library isn’t always the best place. if i start getting anxious bc i pavlovian train myself that library=work, i find a new place to go to do hw. try to go outside if you can!!! not like where i live bc like it’s snow all the time but try. a little green really really really helps depression.

if you’ve been in the same “Studying” place for 1 hour and haven’t done anything the chances are Something Isn’t Right. first, look @ ur body. are you not focusing bc of some pressing physical need? sometimes just taking a shower and coming back helps. are you uncomfy? are you too comfy and going to sleep? if body okay, look @ the material. do you not understand it? do you just need to switch to a new topic for a little bit? can you find a youtube video that will help you better understand it? make notes on what you don’t get so you can ask in the next class. if it’s not the material, it’s not ur bod, check the Actual Space. sometimes just getting up, going for a short walk to a new place, and trying it there actually? really works? if none of this is working.... try ur brain next. hardest to reset bc like, what, turn it on and off again? i use things like caffeine, a short workout, a nap, or a podcast all to just... give me a little boost.

don’t be afraid to leave. i mean this about class, friend groups, and the college ur at. just get up on outta there if ur not feelin it. i cannot recommend “drop the class” enough. even if it’s a required course see if u can switch the times if u hate the professor day 3 it’s not gonna get better just get the fuCK out

don’t nap in the same position u go to sleep in, nap upside down w/ur head away from ur pillow. don’t ask me why but it works to 1. fall asleep faster 2. make sure u sleep okay at night and 3. wake up less annoyed

on that note don’t ever do anything in ur bed in a sleeping position unless it’s genuinely sleeping in it. body will get confused. just sit up, lazybones.

when/if the library has those therapy dogs during finals week.... just go pet them make the time for it

ask before hugging people, but don’t expect a “yes”

get a backpack that fits and doesn’t hurt ur back u fuckin hippie idc how cool it is to wear ur backpack super low just don’t do it it’s not worth it

the tutoring center is a fucking goldmine.... free essay edits my dudes

bring a fan dorms are always hotter than u expect

switch dorms if u can if u realize ur in the wrong room/wrong roomate like just don’t bother with nonsense

when in doubt, follow preschool rules. tell ppl when they did something cool, just ask when u need help, and be confident even in your mistakes, because at least u tried

#anyway

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lilietsblog · 7 years ago

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LETS GO MIRAI NIKKI LIVEBLOG THIS TIME HOPEFULLY WITH SCREENSHOTS

(update: nope didnt work. guess i do have to save the pics separately and not just copy-paste them into an rtf o well)

last time on: is Gasai trying to kill them??? i have no idea last time she was onscreen they (she and Yukki) were drinking soda from the vending machine????

I LOVE AKISE AND HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS SO MUCH like theres the normal guy freaking out and then theres this beautiful white haired disaster

meanwhile I think Yuno is??? roleplaying??? like she counts on him being non-responsive to play out her fantasy of being a caring housewife? anyway yeah she's done this offscreen huh. that was a jarring transition

AND SUDDENLY OPENING its somehow SUDDEN every time and I admire that man I love this opening so much and I cant take a single screenshot reflecting how awesome it is because the entire Thing is constant movement so hey Akise whatcha thinking man I love just the CONTRAST Akise:

Other people:

what is it with me and characters who never show their emotions on their face or in their voice but act exclusively based on them??? like theres this very specific anime trope of a white haired character who is stoic as fuck but instead of making rational decisions motivated by human people logic they do 100% self-destructive things based on curiosity / love / sense of duty / whatever the fuck else and in the end they appear to be missing precisely one emotion and that's self-preservation (yes self preservation is totally an emotion look it up) Akise is that exact trope and I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH meanwhile, Yuno is having trouble feeding an unconscious prisoner... what an unexpected problem that could in no way be foreseen. let me guess: she's going to try to wake him up so he can swallow his damn katsudon ah no instead Hinata intervenes. hon SHE BEAT HIM UP AND TIED HIM TO A CHAIR HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK SHE CARES IF HE WANTS KATSUDON. what made you think speaking up was a good idea here

theres a meme of 'ask someone whos not in the fandom to interpret whats going on in this picture' but you know i think random ppl would identify this situation 100% correctly +- who Hinata is to Yukki. this anime is a cultural icon "Aren't you Yukiteru's girlfriend? Can't you tell?" I love the moon logic this anime operates on, that people inside it are forced to work within. Hinata knows how to put it in the one and only way Yuno would be willing to engage with it, ha. Aaaand looks like it's less roleplaying and more delusion. oh Yuno ah she figures out how to make him open his mouth by pressing on his jaw Yuno honey maybe the police wont come after HIM but after the shit you pulled it sure as fuck will come after YOU then again according to Akise it was coming after you anyway I guess I'm morbidly curious as to exactly how Yuno is going to organize Yukki peeing >_< huh, a sock aaaand Akise goes for the win! two skulls alas I already know One Spoiler that they are her parents, and her actions Almost Kinda Make Sense in that dream logic way so I think last time we saw the bodies they were mummies? but now that's definitely skeletons. huh

okay I'll be honest this is a reaction I did not predict this anime keeps surprising me with happenings that make perfect sense in retrospect, I really respect that about it OH IS THIS THE SCENE THAT SCREENSHOT SET WAS FROM NO I THINK THAT WAS YUKKI ASKING HER but Akise what the fuck are you counting on, that she'll come murder you in person??? I doubt all three of you could overpower her in Murder Mode tbh did you see her with an axe oh right you didnt :>

OH HEY THAT'S CLEVER I like how Yuno goes between 100% self-delusion about Yukki and painful 100% sane clarity about the horrible stuff with the other option being relatively normal interactions with Yuuki, memory suppression about murders and cheerful willingness to kill anyone for Yukki I think that second option really is better for her long-term )= you two do you realize she hears you as well maybe shut up okay no not really -I- know she's thinking because of the camera movement and stuff, -they- don't aaand she laughs. i dont think anyone (other than Akise I guess) saw this coming okay yeah looks like the gamble failed. the mind-preservation instinct of retreating into delusion overpowered the more mundane concerns so that's totally ventilation up there huh. I'm not sure if the gas plan will work for her huh so hum moment of truth WILL Akise send the email to the police or was that just a threat? (orrr the police might know already? he might have told That Nice Cop Guy about it) awww Kousaka's dying message is kinda cute

kinda superfluous - the police already know who they're looking for - but nice AHAHAHA POST LIMIT THAT'S KINDA HILARIOUS THAT'S WHY EVERYONE ELSE JUST USED THE MEMO FUNCTION ah no the rank increased fair enough wait what????? what the fuck @ Deus ah okay to clarify: what the fuck @ 8th well hey it worked out! I still quesiton a ventilation duct in a gassing room but hey I guess there was a lot of gas and Yuno didn't see a reason to conserve it and Kousaka's question is of course why the fuck is Yuno in her underwear. I mean... fair enough, I'm kinda curious too omfg

HELLO POLICE I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER oh right... bad joke anyway I like how camera doesn't play along with Kousaka, while he's saying he's the ultimate weapon he's literally blocked by Yuno's head. we know who the main character is oh hey Yukki is coming to his senses! but can't talk huh right I figured it'd be the soda

*whaps with newspaper* NO NO BAD YUNO STOP THAT (she's drawn so prettily tho damn <3)

oh my sweet summer child you don't know the rules of this game AT ALL hum and the girls can't escape the same way he did because they aren't tall enough dude she's gone up against like five diary owners already and came up on top every time you don't know who you're challenging

huh she actually agrees to play the game wonder if that's genuine or if she has a plan like, I can imagine she's just been pulled into the situation and the role of the big bad setting up traps enough to enjoy toying with people and not just getting her way at the very least she hasn't axe-murdered him... or Hinata for that matter... yet

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED it definitely wasn't just one event tho. Yuno doesn't act like someone who used to be a normal healthy kid in a supportive environment until One Bad Thing Happened and took their entire world. No, Yuno is acting like someone who'd built up the dissociation/delusion defense mechanisms over a long, long time, like, say, a victim of abuse who finally snapped and then didnt find a way to snap back I just wanna knooooow

OH MY GOD SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE HAS A PLAN IS IT NECROMANCY IS SHE GONNA DRESS UP YUKKI AND HINATA AS HER PARENTS WHAT THE FUCK hum what did Yukki realize that's not a key is it?

IT ACTUALLY WORKED I CAN'T BELIEVE aaand

yeah at least she didn't kill him... immediately hum

Hinata and Yukki are both tied up so I'm not sure what they can do together behind Yuno's back but I know a foreshadowing shot when I see one for all that this anime keeps genuinely surprising me with twists, it does take care to make the events easy to follow, and I like that this is Quality Storytelling

yeah but it would have shown a Dead End, right??? or does it not work like that because it's like a 'secondary' diary, an offshoot of the 8th??? I wonder

AHAHHA sorry Yuno you're used to being up against diary owners, but so is Yukki, and he's been growing more competent at this too

NICE and she'd given him his own diary -> ???? brilliant decision but seriously if Hinata did something to Yukki wouldn't that be predicted orrr I guess Yukki's actions were actions of a diary owner so when he made a new decision based on his diary (again, brilliant decision) it changed he prediction ooooohhh she kicked the key that wasn't doing anything to Yukki in itself, it just enabled Yukki to act, which, again, the actions of a diary owner three diary owners????? please tell me that's Akise and Mao and oh right Kousaka was the third one the math doesn't add up :x I think the three diary owners would be able to find them bc of Kousaka's Diary and that's the 8th's plan

this must look so utterly surreal from the side

Yuno? You're not going to drug me and tie me up and try to kill my friends, are you? This girl seriously needs to learn how normal relationships work and I Yearn to learn what the fuck fucked her up like that.

BAD MOVE YUNO HE ALREADY TRIED THAT THIS IS THE RESULT

congrats Yuno you Fucked That Up

sorry but... yeah. you deserve this

???? someone in the cast lives in an orphanage??? I'm calling Akise in that case

oh nm it's something else huh

ah that's what it was oh Kousaka everything about you was a bad idea ...

... what

it really, really fucking isn't Yukki acted on information he had, and made the best decisions he had available. but he can't control other people's actions

...are these... the apprentice diary owners? how does the system work, anyway? how does the 8th send them after anyone? Kousaka has no clue...

uh was the dramatic slo mo effect in-universe too??? they were kind of racing on opposite lanes that couldn't have taken more than like. two seconds

see that's not wrong but. you really need to up your girlfriend game dammit im just rooting for Yuno in all this. you go girl. you fight your inner demons and figure out a happy ending for yourself damn that felt like a really long episode. probably because of the screenshots here's a proposition of a new function for the tumblr staff: uploading .rtf files automatically, splitting into several posts if they are too big. thats the kind of convenience the social media is supposed to offer, right? oh hey Murmur's diary! third installment of the You Saved Me series

beautiful

you naive fucking child oh my god Murmur

MURMUR NO

so was this, like, a dream or something? hum interesting

#liliet watches mirai nikki #still no screenshots

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meet-me-at-kingsmeet · 8 years ago

Text

The (very troublesome) unification of Vere/Akielos

@exy-king @time-limit what is politics LOL,,, Im just going to answer this relatively paragraph by paragraph to keep it simple and I’ll also point out im not familiar with Australian history so if anything I say clashes then my bad lol

Delpha would definitely have to go under independent rule for several main reasons:

Like you said, Vere and Akielos need to compromise and hold Delpha equally so there isn’t an underlying power struggle of “well THIS country has more land” blah blah blah

Delpha is an area that has already dealt with forced intermixing (if im remembering correctly) So the people of Delpha would probably accede to the idea of independence rather than secede back and forth between the two countries.

^^This means the people of Delpha appreciate their King’s independence which leads to one less civil war having to be worried about

I see Delpha as the beginning of city-states in Akielos and Vere especially if it will still be under rule of the King’s just advised by a council

(^^Nikandros will probably be put in charge of this council. Not only would it make sense because he is definitely one of the more higher ranked men in the kingdom, has served at Kingsmeet and as a Kyroi, and showed substantial loyalty to the King of Akielos it is the only fair political move that I can see being made for Nikandros? Like, yes Nikandros loves Damen but realistically after all the bullshit he was put through to have someone else be given that power.....BIG YIKES. Because we gotta remember Nikandros is a born bred noble/politician, loyalty to a king can really only be pushed so far)

The more public intermixing of cultures would be very healthy for other areas of the two countries to see, plus the fact that Delpha is a more wealthy land would show strong trade and power. With the right address, Laurent/Damen could make it seem like Delpha is so powerful because the kingdoms/people are combined

Avoiding Mutiny 101

Laurent and Damen would both have to immediately address the insurrection of both The Regent and Kastor:

The Regent: Pretty simple honestly? He has done a lot of damage but many veretian (and akielon) soldiers/nobles and the council witnessed the evidence against The Regent’s betrayal. Laurent would just have to have it written in the books (history/veretian newsletter??) What happened and the evidence behind it. Once it is made absolutely public that The Regent is the reason King Aleron died, and his mutiny against Crown Prince Laurent, like almost anything he has said will be put to deep shame along with anyone who still agrees to it. “Did you hear prince Laurent did this-” “That’s just what The Regent wanted us to believe. He also said Akielos was the cause of our King’s Death.” So now not only is Laurent in the clear (for the most part, it will always be a gradual step-by-step) but Akielos is no longer being held responsible for the death of their king. So basically what Laurent is gonna need to do is exactly what The Regent was gonna do to Laurent: shit talk the fuck out of him. (Honestly?? Yaaaaaass)

Kastor: A lot of people are gonna be like “damen would never crap-talk his brother bc Kastor was family!!” like....thats great and true and all but politically that’s not going to work in Damen’s favor and knowing Laurent he is gonna wanna get this done asap. It will need to be made public that Kastor attempted to kill Damen (The originally plan seemed to be: Damen is framed for Laurent’s murder (if he doesn’t actually attempt to kill the surly fucker), and is then put on trial and killed for treason). That’s definitely murder/treason by proxy. More people sway to Damen side, let everyone know he killed King Theomedes (who everyone seemed to respect) and Kastor’s supporters diminish by quite a bit.

Running a country is all about keeping the lower/working class people in a desired group mindset and you usually do that by having a hero, a victim, and a villian (having the reg ppl be the victims earns brownie points)

In the beginning both countries are going to to have people who dislike their own rulers, and then have the other monarch to top it off. So while the real work is slowly getting done, the first few months would have to be complete slander towards those who opposed Laurent/Damen (think of an Ad Hominem type of politics)

Delpha flourishes and Marlas...gains a Palace??

First of all...........idk WHERE the money comes from so i’m just going to assume that both Akielos and Vere have no money issues whatsoever (im SHOOK,,Vere literally just lost a war and land like 6 years ago so???????)

YES Laurent and Damen are canonly building a palace in Marlas (see: The Summer Palace). I’m gonna shoot for the stars and say that it will be similar to what King Louis XIII did when he built Versailles (WHICH WAS VERY EXPENSIVE so that’s why I’m confused because it seemed that maybe a year at most had went by and Damen/Laurent were already building a new palace that would have to include both Veretian and Akielan style/aesthetic, I can’t imagine that being cheap and so I assume the people if Vere/Akielos could become angry at this. Seeing new Kings, one of them you probs dont trust, spend a bunch on a palace?? YIKES) BUT, it has been done before in history.

^^^I can see the palace being built being acceptable by

Already having the funds to build it

Using the building of the Marlas Palace to have artists/architects from Akielos and Vere work together

It creates jobs for the people!

^^^Slavery has already been abolished

The Palace is a good idea dont get me wrong. Mixing architecture, having a Palace in the middle of the two countries, and showing off both countries wealth is great for morale......But to do it within a year of power? *long whistle*

But hey i guess if Delpha is working out and they use most of the economic stability being granted from that city-state? Not to shabby

tbh im kinda pissy that i dnt kno more about the working class of Vere/Akielos

King’s Rising? No! Emperor's Rising!!

If you look at European geography, countries with monarchies are SMALL! The more bigger countries that had monarchies didn’t even really carry that title (Austrian-Hungary Empire)

Akielos and Vere uniting would make WAY to large a country to run, two King’s or not it would be way to overwhelming in a country where the people still didn’t totally get along.

It’s difficult bc unfortunatley iphones dont exist, and, imagine an enemy country having their troops fight a war on opposite ends of Vere and Akielos: communication is going to be so important and having a messenger travel back and forth like 500-1000 miles for news?? Lmao thats hilarious

“Calling from Arles: We need support. STOP”

“Calling From Ios: We need support. STOP”

middle man Marlas is like “well we only have enough troops right now for one place so who needs it more???”

And then three weeks goes by. THATS TERRIBLE

Fast communication is essential during war. Its a main reason why the first form a telecommunication was created (see: American Civil War Morse code telegraphs)

Vere/Akielos would def need to become an empire.

I can see this working best by removing a monarchy and switching to an empire form of ruling while then creating city-states (This is how The Roman Empire and Ancient Greece worked--lots of city states--but Laurent/Damen would have to make it work under one rule.

god that sounds like so much messy work that would take so much time BUT THEY GOTTA WORK FAST

mainly bc i think Laurent woudln’t trust anyone to continue their work after they die so he would be up in everyone’s business like “chop chop you fuckers”

This is looking to have very little free time for Damen/Laurent

Soldiers/Money/Communication

Money is definitely the first thing to address. It is what makes the world go round fam. Its why servants work. Its why Akielos had slaves: to save money

again if slavery was abolished than Akielos just lost a lot of money and therefore where did Palace money come from? Delpha? A large loan they took from banks? did they tell their people they took that loan? If the palace starts a deficit Laurent/Damen are fucked

Training soldiers together is a great way to intermix the people. I think building multiple training grounds across Akielos/Vere and forcing the soldiers to interact and work together.

What’s really good for an economy, forces soldiers to fight for each other, and also could destroy nasty internal nationalism? A WAR!!

Laurent and Damen are gonna have to pick fights with other countries outside Patras/Vask (and do this after they stabilize alliances with Patras/Vask

Let me tell you about M.A.I.N.

To unite their people and start and win a war they will need to:

Glorify the military as a way to draft more soldiers (Akielos already seems to have a glorified military so wee)

Showcase Alliances: “Vere and Akielos will protect each other!” “Our alliances with Patras/Vask are stronger bc of Vere/Akielos uniting!” Obligation to fight if allied nation does, shit like that

Imperialism: steal land for trade?? idk this one isnt that important unless you can think of how it can be useful

Nationalism!!: THIS IS A BIG DEAL!!! Nationalism is and always will be a current issue. Nationalism and Religion are the two main big reasons a war happens. Vere/Akielos both suffer from obvious nationalism. (Please keep in mind that Nationalism in M.A.I.N. is not friendly competition. Its a very unhealthy and intense devotion to a country and leads to xenophobia). By having a war, Vere/Akielos can be like “Look at this other country we are fighting. We are much better than that stupid, pathetic, country. Let’s unite and fight and take!! (there’s the imperialism!).

Language of the people!

FUCK ME

this is some shit that won’t be fixed immediately

Veretian and Akielon will both have to be taught (do they have schools?? im pissy again)

People will have to learn the languages in their own way.

If soldiers are forced to intermingle and fight together it will quicken the learning

The common people will be the reason new phrases and words will combine and a new language will be created

If the kingdom/empire tries to prioritze a language it will piss a lot of people off (cause nationalism) so common people mixing the language into creating an entire new one for the united country is the main way I could see this working out

Marriage and Heirs!

I know you said this was a whole other bag of cats but its a VERY IMPORTANT bag of cats

Uniting in marriage is a very common way of uniting/creating alliances.

It doesn’t always bring the people together BUT if the marriage works and the politics move swimmingly and the heir becomes beloved (in our world, if it was a male heir it was like FUUUUUCKK YAAAASS QUEEN) it can create a really strong bond!

If you have an heir

Smudge that idea away all you want it is the main reason for marriage alliances.

Im not kidding if the couple didn’t produce an heir the alliance could collapse

i can’t stress this enough like not just politically this was/is a HUGE deal to the common people too

So Damen and Laurent get married. Now they have united their kingdom through marriage, yay! Step one complete

Now they need an heir.

NOT JUST ANY HEIR

The point is to mix Country A and Country B

so let’s look at it this way:

Damen has an heir. It can be from Jokaste or a Vaskian woman doesn’t matter

It has to be Damen. Maybe Akielos won’t care who the mother is bc that’s their culture but we need to worry about Vere’s culture too now.

If Damen chooses an heir that’s Akielon or a Vaskian, it will probably be more of an insult to the Veretian people if anything.

There’s...no Veretian bloodline...where is Vere’s stability??

This means, going by history that if Damen doesn’t have an heir that’s half Veretian........the marriage is honestly kind of moot

Damen will have to eventually have a child with a Veretian woman (noble, most likely). That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll have to marry her. I think They could get around that by claiming the baby as “not a bastard bc the mother is a surrogate”

BUT YEAH heirs are super important so that’s honestly how I see it needing to go

YEP its long sorry about that. My main knowledge of history is Ancient Greek/Roman and French history (Which was before i read capri believe it or not) so that’s what this stuff is heavily based on along with other histories too of course.

Hope I helped and sorry if it’s confusing or somthing and totally hmu again if you have more questions/wanna keep talkin bout this <<33

#captive prince #discussion #history

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survivor-themyscira-blog · 7 years ago

Text

https://cdn.dtbrownseeds.co.uk/product-images/op/z/19780z.jpg

FUCK U

JORDAN

I WASNT YOUR LEAK

LOOK WHERE IT GOT YOU

GOD DAMMIT!!

Like literally Logan, was like "you were the honestly honest one".

And Toph's all like "we can't trust emily."

And Jaidens like "im so happy you brought me back AND took out pines." And like mad n ian are like "alliance needs to be strong."

And yeah I haven't spoken to anyone else.

But im sure they're like "damn kai was hot in that tribal."

Or something similar.

So Jordan Pines, you are so very welcome to join my hall of trophy votes. The idol I played wasn't mine but Kai's. Kai transferred it to me because Emily told us you were gunning for me with swapped antiope. QQ You join names such as Seamus, Brandan, Tyler, and Catfish Alexa on my stuffed and mounted

I’m so scared Logan is suddenly being so nice to me he messaged me like hey love and then started telling me to drink fluids and stay healthy and I’m scared he’s plotting against me. And Toph is the complete opposite. He’s being flat out rude to me sending me snapchats of him flipping me off and telling everyone that I can’t be trusted and it’s SO RUDE like wtf I know they can’t but like don’t tell them that!

ok so this puzzle is literally destroying my sanity

i shit you not i turned on GHOST MODE for this motherfucker what was i thinking??? "GEE I REALLY WONDER WHAT THE FUCK THIS PUZZLE MIGHT LOOK LIKE, AND GHOST MODE WILL SURELY HELP ME PUT IT TOGETHER"

god no wonder its called the hell puzzle, i never wanna see this spiky shit again

I feel like the past 24 hours or so have been a lot of “firsts” for me. This is the first time in a Tumblr game I’ve ever been voted out, and later returned due to a twist!! This is the first time I’ve beaten Jordan Pines in an individual challenge :~) (my favorite accomplishment). This is not, however, the first time I’ve felt like a complete outcast! Fuck!!

Basically, I join the merge tribe after vanquishing the Goliath to my David. I expected triumphant cheers of happiness that mister Pines was finally eliminated, but there was nothing more than a sigh at my entrance. Nobody even initially congratulated me.

So here we are, hours after I got back into the game. I guess it’s been almost a full day since then, actually, but I put my absolute all into this competition. I knew from the get-go there’d be no chance in flaming hell I’d win immunity today unless everyone else just decided not to bother. No matter how quick I get done with that puzzle, I had a feeling that I’m still going to get second or third at best. But I’m actually okay with it!

Another first that I accomplished was that I didn’t give up when faced with an incredibly difficult task. Look, beating Jordan Pines wasn’t as hard as it seemed. I’ve gotten him voted out of games before, how much harder could it be to just get him out of a simple ten-point challenge? In comparison to today’s immunity, it was like jumping from little league to major league in a minute. Thankfully this puzzle wasn’t last night’s challenge, lmfao. So I accomplished just getting the puzzle done. Win or lose, this is a proud moment. I literally spent over 8 hours just trying to get the pieces together, and 7 of those hours were spent just today alone. The outcome won’t take this feeling away from me. I’m proud! This gives me a really good argument for myself at a potential final tribal council – I came back, stuck to my guns, and proved that I never gave up at any moment in this game. EVEN KNOWING I could lose such a challenge, I dedicated eight whole hours of my life to getting this shit done. Whew.

I mean I guess there’s a little hope inside me that anyone who completes the puzzle gets some sort of reward out of it… I doubt that’s the case, but it was enough to really kick me into high gear during the first 20% of the puzzle or so to just keep at it. I needed that push.

Anyways, now that I’m back in the game, I need to find some allies. I started working on Rhone and they gave me some useful information about what went down in the game. None of it made ANY sense because I’ve missed so much, but Kai was another person that really tried to instill in me an idea that I could work with him, too.

Before coming back, I was super anti-Jordan Pines. I knew that he was gonna be a tough cookie to crack if I were to magically return and have him still here. So I played that up a lot to Kai in particular, at least to give myself an option if I need one. This might give him a sense that we’re on the same page, wanting to take out the remainders of Jordan’s allies. I’m just kinda waiting for him to swoop down and take me in under his wing. Really, I’m waiting for anybody to do that at this point…

Then again, I’ve got Rhone as a potential “in”. I’ve never played with Rhone before, but I know they’re really smart just by talking to them. I don’t want to even flirt with the idea of lying to Rhone or being a little bit dishonest. I need to be as straight-forward with them as I can because they’re NOT the kind of person I want to lie to for any reason. They’d see right through me and call me out on it, which I don’t need right now.

An idea I’ve had would be to just fill in the spot Jordan Pines made with his alliance. Hopefully they’ll accept me as a new number, because clearly I’m very against Ian. There’s like, no chance I’ll work with either Ian or Madeline or Toph at this point (and I’m not even going to talk to the latter two because… choke), so if I can find a way to send those three out back to back to back? Sign me right up!

Logan’s changed his profile picture to a leek because of some mysterious “leak” drama going around. Like, oh please keep sinking your ship. I promised Dan I wouldn’t target Logan for a bit because Dan wants to see him go far, but like Logan is kinda unnecessary to my game at the moment. I don’t trust him because he doesn’t trust me, and although I don’t have a lot of options, shattering Jordan’s old alliance *might* be beneficial for me in the long-run.

I don’t understand subtlety, so I don’t care if I win immunity and if I do, it’d be a freaking dream. I am going to make my presence in this game known one way or another, so these people had better prepare for that. I should, too. Thankfully, I’ve got this redemption idol so if things look grim for me tomorrow night, I know I’m getting at least tenth place. I don’t want to position myself as the easy vote since I’m a returner, so… let’s try hard to stick around this time and not get messy. Since I’m here, I may as well try to get to the end this time and not be chaotic as fuck. It doesn’t take big moves to win the game, but it does take strong relationships to get people convinced you deserve to win over everyone else. Like I’ve said, I have to right my wrongs from before I was voted out. Then again, I don’t let go of grudges so who knows what the future has in store for me. All I know is I’m glad I'm over that hell of a puzzle.

I worked on that puzzle for over ten hours. The most I got was 35%. At least I tried.

Step one of my master plan. Cry in everybody's PMs and tell them why I DO NOT want to go home.

Step two of my master plan. Become Jordan Pines. Everybody loves Jordan Pines, so why would they vote him out? It just makes no sense. Only Ian and Kai and whoever else voted for him yesterday, and there's no fucking way I'm not getting AT THE LEAST Ian's vote. I kinda need the majority here, so it seems like my best bet is to just make them think I'm not Jaiden.

Step three of my master plan. Scramble. Hard.

And finally, step four. Play the idol on myself. Hopefully I have enough votes coming my way (aka all but mine) and I can look like a good fucking player for once and take out someone I don't like (aka Toph).

HOPEFULLY everyone votes for either myself or Ian. If Ian goes home, then yay he's dead. If they all vote me, then boo you guys just fucked up and now I cancel all the votes : D

I don't know who is willing to work with my cracked ass at this point, but I'm not going down without a fight. I'm gonna pull out all the stops to make shit happen, I'm just really really scared that I won't do it correctly.

me @ everyone in pms: "hi this is your master speaking, please vote for ian"

we all know the real jordan pines uses mind control

I'm going into the second hour on a private call with Ian while we're talking in two different alliances we're in together and discussing our PMs with people. NO ONE can sneak anything past our duo.

I love Logan my only goal in this game now is to get him to not hate me

https://youtu.be/5hV-WJy_kUI

I’m waiting for someone to Jeff Varner themself to make this vote easy

Honestly it's so funny when I have to pretend I don't talk to Ian much and even say he's sorta awkward to talk to. IF ONLY PEOPLE KNEW JUST YESTERDAY WE TALKED FOR 5 HOURS.

my dad is dead

i dont know who to trust

im immune tho

and i got a super idol

neat.

I've heard my name all day long and that gets mentally draining and I tried to set in place a plan to keep myself in, if it works,great, if not oh well it's been a fun ride so far. The reason it wouldn't work is one it's very contingent on Nicholas throwing his vote and Two- Dammit Toph spilling the real name to someone we don't need knowing, the point of getting people to throw votes is them not knowing who we might be coming for. Anyways, we will see and if I go out no one can say I didn't try

I did the thing that I wanted to do the least in this game tonight well maybe not the least I don’t know I’m using voice text for this just so everybody knows in case this is a total mess I blame Siri anyways tonight was horrible I had to cast a vote for road and I love road to death and just hoping that Rome doesn’t hate me for a bit is it just God I just really I don’t even know what to do anymore in this game I’m just I’m really relying on dudes James and to do each oh my god this is such a mess and I just I recorded a video confessional earlier but I just know I won’t have time to upload it and I’m just leaving rehearsal now and I just I don’t feel like typing but everything is it’s a mess I want to cry and a half like God Charlotte JD LA I’m so upset this This is the fucking worst and I I don’t even know if the boat is going to go my way tonight I feel like I’m really betraying Nicholas because he’s going to cast a vote for Jaden thinking that everybody else is going to vote for Jayda but nobody except I haven’t so I don’t even know if I’ll trust me after this of Oracle try to get me out or something I don’t know what I’m really trusting telephone and really trusting Madeline and Ian and Kai and I’m just so so so upset I’m going to listen to Pasha to drown out my sorrows hopefully I’m home in time for life tribal but do I even want to be on live tribal tonight I really don’t think I do god this is such a mess why do I play these games all it does is make me sad and stressed I don’t know fuck

Sorry Rhone, I was the one who convinced Dudes, Dames, and a Deutch to write your name out then convince Toph to his a double vote. It was nothing personal other than you were JP's right hand and you voted me. We just had to go with a name that wasn't being thrown around in fear of an idol...Which one was played it was just Jaiden(I told you guys we couldn't go after Jaiden this round) and he played it on me. That's two idol's used on your boi right here, I am in your house stealing all your idol'd votes. The best part, neither of them have been idols I have found! Who needs to search the island when you can get people to play their advantages with you as a beneficiary. As per usual shout out to my girl Madeline, love ya girl we couldn't have pulled off the moves we made so far without being 100% honest with each other. Special shout out to Jaiden as well, thank you so much man you made my day and I think I can start to rebuild a relationship with you, eventually all alliances must end and I feel if you stay in the game for when that time comes we can pull something off.

The only idol that won't be getting played on Ian this game is going to the idol of my heart. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF THIS BOY PLAYS ME HE'S OVER.

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes

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neuropathicgypsy · 7 years ago

Text

So I said last week about my kidneys having issues...

And they're still having issues despite the 100 cranberry supplements I took over the course of a few days... Like 4M units of cranberry goodness

Right away I did feel refreshed and my kidneys stopped hurting but

As soon as I stopped taking them, because I took a whole bottle almost, I started having issues again.

I have an appointment soon with my hemotologist at the Cancer center and so I called and told them of the issues and with my e-GFR being only 57 (lowest is 60 so we're in the beginning of the game) and that I want it dealt with.

So the director of the cancer center heard and called me extremely dramatically upset and you know begged for forgiveness and what not because it's most likely due to the Antibiotic I was on Levaquan or whatever it's spelled.

He said that he was threatened by ahem ahem and ahem to get me better and it was extremely bad and I had heard about it at the time and I signed that it was kind they cared but I didn't know that it was effective and it turns out it wasn't.

And so he promised if I can't afford treatment they would make it available to me free of charge and are gonna make sure I get bwtter

Not because the director was threatened but because his job is to care and he's good at his job.

So.

Hopefully soon things will get better.

Im having issues that were really unpleasant in addition to the pain and so right now things are very bleak but I am untreated at the moment.

My dear dear dead friend visited and said he spoke to God and I'm in effect being punished because people that are advocating for me are doing it with violence and Injustice.

So essentially it is their fault.

Which I had already told them so

Like a billion times already.

And don't believe Jesse when he says he's upset, he's only upset because he isn't the one killing me.

He says he wants me alive and healthy so we can marry but that doesn't make sense because I would piss him off a billion times till he kills me or I kill myself because I can't stand being around him and then he would be all "I killed her because she was unhappy with me" as defense to the actual murder because he actually murdered me .

Anyways of course the drama always continues with Jesse

Just don't waste your time consoling him or believing him.

You'll have a Better time talking to an actual brick wall.

If you ask me, the solution to all this is just Matt taking me to the doctor himself and so he can do things right, even if he does have to yell or threaten he will do it to the correct person --- the person treating me wrong that's in the room

Not some innocent director trying to help correctly.

When I go by myself, often times, believe it or not, I'm just so exhausted and so they can tell me pretty much anything and I'll be oh okay but then I have to go home and think about it or Matt is screaming about it on the way home and I feel like I have to defend myself and the stupid doctor.

I'm really smart but I'm not a doctor.

I don't know all the treatments or anything even if I Google the doctor may know of something else

And see like now the Antibiotics I was prescribed is causing me acute kidney injury which can lead to kidney failure or death.

Luckily I know how to treat my kidneys because I do have kidney issues since I was pregnant... It's when I noticed them acting up and have paid attention since.

But ... I mean... If I can't do it right and the doctors can't either.. then it's dialysis or death so it's really fucking scary.

I'm very sad about what happened.

Not just because the director was threatened but also because I'm being punished and my kid may be as well.

Things can go very bad. It's up to god

But Jeremyuh did say that things should get better.

But again it's due to other people's actions which god has no control over

I told them director I understood why he didn't think I would need steriods for my sinus infection. Because he was threatened. He was terrified. I would done whatever I was told, too.

But I told him, no more you do what you need to do. Don't listen to thwm

Although they have been murdering animals lately.... They're mostly harmless idiots that don't know how to behave in society.

Of course it's my (unpaid) job to teach them how.

I do love them tho. They're just really bad kids trying to be good parents.

But yes was rumor mill has churned, I am not doing very well at all and right now until I see the doctor, we don't know what treatment is going to happen or what is going on or how bad things are.

I think God's cranberries will help alot to get me through, since I spoke to Jeremyuh whom said that things aren't as hopeless as they seem....

Except...

It's up to these idiots to shut up and get educated about what alternatives to what we already know can be good.

Like Matt was really mad because the Antibiotics didn't work. 7 of them. So he was all fuck this find one that does

Well after the 8th...

So I still have the sinus infection. 5 months and 8 Antibiotics later.... And the only thing that is really helping keep me alive in that regard is a steroid spray for allergies.

Sometimes I just randomly can't breathe

No reason. I don't feel chest pain or anything.

I just can't breathe.

So... Yes... It may be as horrible as to say my entire body is shutting down here and there slowly and surely.

At the same time we can also say there's treatment for each little thing that's being bad.

I have not gotten the immune suppressent for my arthritis.. I'm not sure what's about that as I've been sleeping days again and don't very remember to calk

We Knew there would be an insurance issue.

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