#it being mute and jesse being mute helped them bond closer

[enden-agolor]

my bf and i had this big brain idea to give jesse an allay in the au. lore of how he got it will be in the fic, but as for now they're just his little forest buddy who hangs out occasionally. also lukas is enthralled by its existence and the two of them really get along.

[shooter-nobunagun]

Quarantine UST

//The Second Platoon is forced to house together for approximately one month due to the COVID pandemic. Unresolved sexual tension and chaos ensue (also team bonding! Yay!)

This is a bit of an AU, as it takes place before Adam and Sio get together (and obviously COVID didn’t happen...)

“Wait...you can’t be serious...!”

“The Commander never jokes around, Jack. I assure you these are her exact orders.”

“Alright I get it, but still⁠—is this really necessary?!”

“As members of DOGOO, you are public facing figures—therefore it is more important than ever to follow the protocols and show the world we care about protecting them, from both outside and inside threats—”

“⁠—that doesn’t mean we have to be quarantined inside a house? In a civilian zone?! What’s wrong with returning to the base and staying there instead? I hardly see how staying in some random house is more isolated than returning to the Logan or even the Clayton Forrester...”

“I’m afraid that decision isn’t yours to make, Jack. Or, I should say, Adam Muirhead. Your orders have been given. We will be in touch shortly with further instructions. Saint-Germain out.”

“Hang on you bastard—bloody hell!”

Sighing, the leader of the Second Platoon angrily stowed away his comm, running a hand through dirty silver locks. He needed a shower, but it appeared that might have to wait until a good deal later.

“Ah, Jack-san? How did it go? What did the Commander want?” The team’s sniper, Nobunagun, gave their leader a worried glance as she noticed his haggard expression upon return, the rest of the platoon waiting in a tent as DOGOO personnel cleaned up the remains of their alien foes.

He eyed her with a wary glance, wondering how he should even break the news to the rest of the squad. On one hand, he agreed; if there was a virus raging across the planet then it was vital they take steps to mitigate the damage. Things were bad enough as it was with the Evolutionary Invasion Objects, now they were on the verge of a pandemic, to boot.

On the other...

“...Command wants us to stay here, in the San Francisco region. Says it’s too risk to go back t’ the base for now, what with that new virus flying about. Especially since this area’s a hot zone for infections...”

The others blinked at him, as if not believing his words. Adam grit his teeth and resisted the urge to lose his temper. He was their leader, and it was imperative he keep calm, even if all he wanted to do was to toss his comm into the air, slash it half with his sword and curse Command and their inane decisions.

Instead, he simply shook his head and motioned for the team to gather their personal effects, which mercifully had been transferred off the helicopter already. Perhaps it was sheer luck the team had been planning for a few days aboard the Forrester anyway, otherwise even getting basic necessities like toiletries and clothing would’ve been an ordeal. 

‘Not that it already isn’t; based on what the news is saying, we should probably stock up when we get the chance,’ Adam thought glumly as they piled into the awaiting Jeep, Nobunagun⁠—or Sio Ogura, now that they were off-duty⁠—the only one of them who seemed excited. The girl was a self-proclaimed military otaku and obsessed with anything and everything related, including vehicles. She craned her neck out so far Adam was afraid he’d have to pull her in before she lost her head, literally.

“Oy squirt, watch it! This ain’t a joyride, and you’re not a mutt. Get yer head back in here before yeh lose it!”

“Wah⁠—Jack-san, I was just trying to take a picture! Jeeze...meanie.” The girl muttered, but she did slink back into her spot next to their buxom teammate, Jess Beckham⁠—a.k.a. e-gene holder of Isaac Newton.

“Don’t take it so hard, Sio-chan⁠—Jack’s just worried about you, as all good senpais should, right?” Their defender, the reincarnation of one Mahatma Gandhi, gave the girl a kindly pat. “Never thought I’d say the words “Jack the Ripper” and “worried” in the same sentence, hmm Adam?”

“Piss off, Mirza; otherwise I’d be more than happy to shove you out,” the silver-haired man muttered, already on-edge from this unexpected arrangement and certainly not in the mood for jokes.

Afterwards the team collapsed into a sullen silence, even Sio somewhat muted after Adam’s outburst. After winding around the hills of San Francisco, they arrived at a more residential district, with narrow streets that could hardly fit their oversized vehicle—but, as the sniper watched with bated breath, not only did they make it but with oncoming traffic, to boot.

“Here you are, the Second Platoon’s temporary quarters for the time being. One of DOGOO’s board members owns it, and he’s arranged for you guys to stay here until the quarantine period’s over, provided you don’t go around destroying the place,” their driver gave them the rundown while offloading their duffels at the same time. “Though honestly, I don’t think they’ve got anything to worry about⁠—you’re all responsible enough.”

Adam thought he saw Mirza (Mahesh Mirza, for the record) give a side-eyed glance at Jess, but said nothing more. He was tired, cranky, needed food and more importantly a nice, hot shower. As the soldier bid them farewell⁠—”don’t hesitate to contact us if anything comes up”⁠—they unlocked the door, and DOGOO’s Second Platoon piled unceremoniously into the foyer, still in their under armor.

The house was a genuine San Francisco Victorian: as evidenced by the gothic-style roof peaks, wrap-around porch and wrought-iron window sills. There was even a real crystal chandelier above their heads, though it was clear the house had also been remodeled to accommodate modern comforts. In particular, the kitchen looked like it would be right at home in a 3-star Michelin restaurant, and a giant, 70-inch flat screen TV was mounted above the (real) fireplace. The entire place was tastefully decorated in what Jess liked to call “shabby chic”, though upon closer inspection, some parts of the house were quite old.

“Whoa...this place is huge!” The sniper’s eyes were wide as saucers, having never seen this type of architecture in Japan before. “Ooh, a real fireplace! Maybe we can use it...oh wow, this couch is super comfortable!” Amazingly, even after a hard day’s battle the sniper still had energy to go about admiring the furnishings and odds and ends; tired as they were, the rest of the squad couldn’t help but be slightly amused by their youngest member’s enthusiasm.

“Oh sweet, we can each get our own room!” Her voice echoed from upstairs as Mahesh and Jess looked around, nodding approvingly. “I call the one with the bay window!”

“Well, seems like we’ve got central heating, but no AC...I guess San Francisco’s cool enough to not need it?” Mahesh questioned their leader, but Adam only gave an aggravated sigh.

“Yeh, you say that now, I guarantee you won’t be thinking that when it starts warming up...tch, what is it with Yanks and their need to have heating but no air conditioning,” the silver-haired man muttered under his breath.

“I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” the Indian mused, not wanting to anger their leader any more than he already was. “Ah, well it seems the girls have chosen their rooms. It looks like the only two left are...one downstairs, to the left of the kitchen, or...at the very top, the attic?” 

“I don’t give a damn, honestly. Look, why don’t you take the downstairs, and I’ll take the attic?” If he’d been more alert, Adam would have remembered that heat rises, and so if and when the weather turned warm he would be screwed; but as it was all he wanted was to just unpack his clothes, shower and sleep, and so Mahesh merely raised an eyebrow, but agreed without comment.

A message chimed on his phone (they had cell service again, and internet now that they were off DOGOO premises); apparently Saint-Germain had gone ahead and ordered them take-out for dinner, and it was on its way via the city’s plethora of food delivery services. There was also a calendar event for a more formal meeting with the Commander tomorrow, where apparently they would discuss this whole quarantine business in greater detail. Eyeing it once, Adam tossed his phone onto the bed and headed straight for the shower. ----- “Moouu, jeeze I wish they didn’t handle my luggage so roughly...argh great, now it’s everywhere...crap, my clothes are ruined.” Sighing, Sio gingerly picked through the contents of her duffel to see if any clothes had been spared⁠—but no; to her misfortune, one of her shampoo bottles somehow spilled (it was probably the air pressure), and now her wardrobe was effectively soiled. 

Including the clothes she needed tonight.

Whining to no one in particular, the sniper decided instead to see if at least something could be washed in the sink, and maybe blow-dried with a hairdryer. Grumbling to herself, she headed for the nearest bathroom down the hall⁠—though it never occurred to her to check first to see if it was occupied...

“Gyaahhh!!!”

“Th’ fuck⁠—!”

Sio squealed in embarrassment, but her eyes were definitely not looking away. Oh no. For just as she’d opened the door their leader, Adam Muirhead, had just gotten out of the shower and was standing there in his buff, naked glory, save for a just-in-time towel around the waist. Steam clouded the room, but Sio still saw every single water droplet hanging off his silvery locks, which were now plastered against his neck, and the beads of sweat clinging to every single crevice of those finely chiseled muscles.

In other words, if it weren’t for the situation (and the fact he annoyed her so much) she definitely would be having a nosebleed.

He seemed to be just as mortified as her though, if that furious blush on his face was anything to go by. “Fer Christ’s sake girl, don’t you ever knock?! What the hell’s wrong with you! Surely you could tell someone was in here?!”

“I-I, I’m, s, s, sorry, Jack-san⁠—I-I just⁠—I-I’m not used to, sharing a bathroom with other people...” The girl seemed to be on the verge of tears, and immediately Adam felt bad for yelling at her⁠—but seriously, was she blind or something? 

“I, uh, I...m, my, clothes got dirty⁠—cause my shampoo, I guess it spilled and I just thought I could try and wash it out in the sink and maybe it would dry before bed⁠—”

“⁠—Could you at least shut the door, first?” He snapped irritably, not keen on anybody else walking in. “So, your clothes got dirty. And your first thought is to...wash them in the sink?”

Those teary maroons blinked at him, clearly confused. “Y, Yes...? I-I mean, how else would I...”

“...You know there’s a laundry room just downstairs, right?” Adam deadpanned. Was this girl for real? ‘Alright, I get she’s just a high schooler, but seriously, how the hell did she even make it into DOGOO in the first place? I guess e-genes can’t be choosers...’

The girl turned red, and looked away in shame. “I, uh, um...I can’t...use it...”

Adam raised a silvery brow. “Can’t use it? As in, you don’t know how to operate the machine or you don’t know how to wash your own clothes?”

“...”

“...Lemme guess, you’re one of those kids who has her mum do everything, huh?”

At this point, Sio looked so downtrodden Adam couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for her. They’d all had a long day, things were kinda crazy, and even though he wasn’t much older than her, and she irritated him at times, as the leader he still felt responsible for all his teammates. Which included the newbie.

Adam took a deep breath. “...Alright look, let me finish up here and uh, I’ll help ya out with that. Yeh?”

“H-Huh? Is that...okay? S, Sorry...”

“Forget about it; the faster we get this taken care of, the sooner we can settle in. Now, are ya gonna let me get dressed in peace or not? Unless yeh wanna be called a voyeur...” He jerked his head towards the door and the sniper scuttled out like a crab, face still pink. 

A few minutes later Adam emerged, hair still damp but now dressed in a casual outfit consisting of a pink polo shirt and baby-blue ankle pants, of all things. Despite her embarrassment Sio couldn’t help but stare a little; the dichotomy between his attitude and choice of clothing was something else, but she had enough sense to not say anything.

“You got your stuff?” The sniper nodded and handed the duffel over. “Right, let’s get these sorted out⁠—”

“⁠—W-Wait, what are you doing?! Don’t go pawing through my clothes⁠—”

She froze as he turned towards her with a dead-eye stare, that emerald glaring at her with a look of disbelief. “Look, if I’m gonna help you do laundry, then you’re going to learn how to do it the right way, so pay attention. First off, you sort them; lights in one load, darks and colours in another. This way you won’t get issues like your whites turning pink or everything turning grey. Also, different colours use different water temps. You want hotter for whites, cold for bright colours so they don’t bleed.” As he sorted her laundry into two piles, Sio watched with amazement as he did everything with a practiced hand.

“Oh, and obviously you’ll want to wash these on the delicates cycle so they don’t get ruined,” he tossed her underwear into another pile, “what, don’t give me that look, squirt. You’re dead wrong if you think I give a crap about what kind of knickers you wear.”

He rolled his eyes and Sio felt her blood pressure rise. So all right, she never learned how to do laundry, but did he have to be so condescending about it? “L-Look, I...know I’m not good at a lot of things, but you don’t have to be so mean about it... I’m sorry, okay?!”

The lid slammed down so suddenly the girl gave a startled yelp. “Look, Ogura. There’s nothing to be sorry for. You don’t know how to do this, so I’m teaching you now, so next time you can do it yourself, yeh?” The sniper nodded timidly, and Adam sighed again. 

“...An’ I’m...sorry for being so short-tempered about it. Honestly, I’m just right buggered...first we get pulled into a battle that the First Platoon was supposed to handle on their own⁠—those wankers⁠—and now we can’t even go back to base; seriously, what the hell is Command thinking...”

Sio nodded. “It’s, okay...I’m sorry for asking you to help me all the time...but, I uh, really appreciate it, Jack-san...” Despite his acerbic tongue, out of all her teammates he was also the one whom, strangely enough, she trusted the most. Sure he made quips about her lack of skills and teased her relentlessly, but now that she thought about it, when it really came down to it he was also the first one to help her out, and show her the ropes. ‘Not to mention, even though he yells a lot, he never actually...does anything weird to me. Unlike Newton or Gandhi...’ 

The girl shuddered a little at the thought of being locked in a house with her two more touchy-feely teammates for a month. Perhaps, if push came to shove, this would be when she told them how she really didn’t appreciate being apprehended all the time.

“Don’t mention it. Anyway, now you know how. It’ll probably take a while for these to wash and dry; if I were you, I’d borrow some clothes for the time being. You can probably ask Newton, I’m sure she’d be more than happy to help.”

At the mention of their French-kissing teammate though, the girl visibly stiffened. “Ah, I er, it’s...it’s okay, I’ll just deal with it until they’re done. I don’t really wanna bother her right now...b-besides, I...kinda doubt Jess’ stuff would fit me anyway...”

Oh. Right. The sniper had a point; not that Adam particularly paid attention to appearances, but it didn’t take much to notice that Sio was much smaller and more petite compared to the curvy and buxom blonde, who’d been a model before all this, to boot.

“...Right. Well, whatever, it’s your call. I suppose going commando is an option as well...just make sure you’ve got enough blankets,” he smirked, causing Sio to turn bright red again.

“H-Hey! Pervert!” She attempted to swipe him with her bag, but he was too fast. “Jerk...I’m not that young, I can figure out things for myself!”

“Riiight. Sure you can. Anywho, I am starving and bloody exhausted, and the food’s just arrived so I’m going to grab some nosh and then head to bed. You can do whatever you want, hanninmae.” And with a barely concealed grin Adam headed towards the dining room, leaving Sio blushing and fuming at his words, but also somewhat grateful he’d helped her out.

“Ugh, what an asshole...sheesh, I’m not that helpless! ...Even if I just learned how to do laundry for the first time...” Why did he have to be so attractive yet infuriating at the same time? Wait, did she just think Jack the Ripper was attractive? 

‘No no no, ooh no Sio, you cannot be thinking those thoughts! He’s a total jerk, no manners or patience whatsoever—and he keeps calling you a half-baked squirt! Do you really wanna end up with someone like that?! Quick, think about nice things instead...like, that Jeep you rode in! Or Asao-san, she’s way prettier and nicer than stupid Jack...’ 

The sniper stilled as she came to a realization. ‘Wait a minute, we’re off DOGOO property, which means...’

“Cell phone, here I come! Woo hoo!” The delightful buzzing of all her piled-up incoming messages cheered her up somewhat, Sio resolving to spend some time before bed finally catching up with Asao-san—and probably her parents as well. 

The take-out boxes were thoroughly ravaged by the time the sniper made her way to the dining area, but she was happy to see plenty of food remained. She couldn’t tell what she was eating—the cuisine was either American or European and that was about all she could figure—but she was so hungry and tired at this point even cardboard would’ve been satisfying. The rest of her teammates were nowhere to be seen, and the sniper gave a little sigh of relief. She did appreciate them, truly (even with their not-so-nice quirks) but as an introvert, she was most relaxed when alone.

“Huh, should I just...leave these here? Well, but it’s not like we’re gonna have cleaning services here...guess I’ll just do my best.” Sorting through the boxes, she threw away the empty ones and piled the dirty dishes into the sink. She was just about to try and figure out if it was worth learning how to use a dishwasher when Adam came down the stairs, both of them surprised at the other. 

“Oh! Uh, Jack-san...I just, figured I should help clean up a bit...”

“Yeh uh, I figured...the same. Might as well try and keep it clean from the start...’specially knowing what slobs those two are,” he nodded in the direction of the others’ rooms. “So, you wanna learn how to load a dishwasher?”

Sio nodded quietly. It was so strange, how he seemed to have two different moods. One minute he was serious but cordial, and the next he’d be yelling about another of her mishaps and complaining how she couldn’t do anything right. ‘Maybe, just maybe...I’ll finally have the chance to get to know him better...’

“Dishwashers rare where you’re from? I know in England, a lot of the older places don’t have it; ‘specially if they’re small.” It took a few seconds before Sio realized he was trying to make some small talk with her.

“O-Oh! Y-Yeah uh, we don’t have one at my house, either. It’s kind of a ‘rich people’ thing. I was just gonna do them by hand, but it’s probably faster to use dishwasher since we have one, huh?”

She watched intently as Adam showed her how to load the dishes in by size, where to separate the silverware, and how much detergent to put in. He let her select and activate the cycle though, and by the end Sio felt pretty proud her of herself, even though he’d done most of the work.

“Th-Thank you...Jack-san. I, I know I’m not really great at a lot of things, and I’ve definitely got a lot to learn...s, so, I swear I’ll do my best during this quarantine period.” Her eyes were shining with a rare bit of determination, Adam a bit taken aback at her sincerity, but found himself appreciating it.

“...You’ll do just fine, rookie.” It felt weird to be genuinely complementing her, and Adam couldn’t figure out why he felt so apprehensive around her, even though deep down, he did want to tell her she was doing a good job already. Even though she was inexperienced, the way she never gave up and threw herself into whatever came her way...his body flushed with an odd tingle and suddenly Adam really needed to have some time to himself. “A-Anyway, it’s late, you should sleep and get some rest. I’m heading up. ‘Night.”

“Oh right...uh, oyasumi, Jack-san...” She followed him up the stairs, and just as she was about to go into her room something soft flew through the air and landed on her head. “Wha—er, what is this...?” 

“Just make sure you don’t get these dirty as well. I don’t have that much t’ spare.” Before Sio could make heads or tails of it he disappeared into the attic room, the sniper now finally untangling the bundle.

“These are...a t-shirt and...boxers?? A guy’s, at that...” She blushed, suddenly realizing this was Adam’s subtle gesture of looking out for her, even if he didn’t say it aloud. “It feels a little weird to be wearing his clothes...but well, I guess I might as well, since he’s offering...also, I really don’t wanna go commando...” At least they were clean and relatively well-kept.

After a hot shower that soothed 90% of all her aches, Sio now sat in her new room, wrapped in a fluffy towel as she attempted to put on Adam’s clothes. The t-shirt was much too large, but it made for a nice makeshift nightgown as it reached just above her knees. She noticed the Metal Gear logo on the front—was he possibly a gamer?—then picked up the boxers. Luckily there were drawstrings so she could tighten it until it finally stopped falling off her waist, but as she dug around, she noticed an opening in the front.

“Eh? What’s this...weird, why is there a hole here? Is this a rip? Doesn’t look like it though...oh well, doesn’t matter to me.” As she finally settled into her bed, furiously texting Asao-san about all the things that happened in the span of one day, she noticed a foreign scent; it was not unpleasant, but rather cozy...

‘...Is this coming from his clothes?’ She sniffed a bit at the t-shirt. It was clean, but aside from the detergent she could also smell something else. ‘...Er, is this his...scent?! Alright Sio, don’t think about it...it’s not bad or dirty, just...’ She blushed a bit, and decided not to finish that thought, just as her phone rang.

“M-Mooouu...! Asao-san, just wait until you hear what’s been going on...”

[welcometoyournewhell]

Suck it Up, Sammy

A/N: I don't believe the content is too touchy, but for some it may be. Talks about olden beliefs of twins (and other births that involve more than one child) and albinism.

This was done on the phone and I apologize in advance.

Sam and Dean are stuck with a toddler after a failed hunt. After the youngest fights his brother on every option of removing the child from their grasp Sam finds himself a father.... and is anything but happy about it.

___

Dean grunted as he trudged down the steps of the closest thing to a childhood home he had; Well.... with the exception of Baby. He and Sam were laying low at their adopted father's house until they figured out what to do with the results of their last hunt.

A town went insane over a line woman having albino twins, and a line cult made it their mission to execute these "demonic entities". It was like something out of older times. If a woman bore more than one child, she was that of an animal!

God forbid her children didn't look an "acceptable" way, they were the children of Satan! A single mother and her toddlers had just moved to a small town in Texas before they became a target for a small group of religious cultists.

The only survivor of the night was a three year old girl who was practically mute. While Dean was trying to figure out if she had any relatives or where to send her, Sam was having a pity party for himself, blaming himself for the family's death.

He'd had the visions, he'd had the nightmares.... but he didn't know the needed details to save these people. When he freed the small girl from her bonds.... something came over him and he just.... wouldn't let her go.

She'd panic if he'd try to anyway. They ended up bringing her with them to a few hunts on their way back to Bobby's as Sam shot down every option. Finding her family, almost impossible. Adoption home, chance of abuse or the group finding her. Foster care, a bunch of possibilities and the same group. The church, that one Sam actually smacked his brother's arm.

"Who do you think was just hunting her, Dean?!" He didn't mean that town but Sam had a point. There were too many stories about abuse came with Nun hood. There was no way Bobby would raise her go through the same shit he'd gone through with John and the boys.

So it was either him or Sam being a dad and risking a child's life and putting then through the same hell they went through.... or a previous option.

Well Dean made it clear he wasn't looking to be a father, and Sam wasn't budging. Last night was the final straw. Bobby interrupted there fight and pretty much told Sam.... he was a dad now.

"Not gonna put her somewhere safe, she's your job now. I ain't raising her Sam, and your brother sure as shit ain't. She likes you, she's you responsibility." In which, Sam tried to fight back but the old man made it clear, it was a home or Sam, end of discussion.

Dean was already enjoying being an uncle. Oh the cute outfits and bibs. Sure, she was able to eat with out a bib but.... it was Batman! He spent all his cash on toys, clothes, pull ups, and anything else he thought was cute.

Honestly, it was the only reason he wasn't giving into Sammy's puppy eyes. The younger brother had been wallowing on self pity, trying to talk Dean into another plan for the kid. Dean would ignore him or simply state, "It's a stepping stone Sam. You can be the dad you always wanted dad to be. ", or " It'll get your mind of Jess, dad, and everything else." Normally it was the first one that shut the other up.

They'd spent about a month with her now, and she was slowly starting to get used to them. She was still clinging to Sam like a life line though.... but she was letting Dean and Bobby hold her now too. "Alright kiddo, pancakes, " the eldest hunter asked. Bright blue eyes blinked before looking up to the man holding her.

"I think she'll like them. Gonna have to get used to them." Bobby frowned a bit before shaking his head. "You seem excited about this, why don't you be daddy?" Sam was in bed still, trying to ignore the title. "Because, I'm uncle material. Besides, she'd um... kind of be a bit of a, that. Not like Sammy's getting any anyway."

He bounced her up a bit more before kissing the platinum curls. "Besides, she likes Sam better. Probably should get her into a child psychologist though. She's got some damage." He tapped her little head with a smile. She didn't smile back. She'd looked either sad, come fused, or scared the whole time they'd had her.

"Aint we all? How about a name first? Need something to put on those papers." They should have raided the house for her birth certificate and social security number. "Yeah... the number is still going to be an issue. But not like she's driving any time soon, are ya? "

She was holding on of Sam's forty night shirts to her face as Dean kissed her head. Bobby finished some pancakes before passing his eldest a knife and fork. "What's the knife for, " he asked. "Well look at her mouth." Oh, not for him. "But I'm serious about the name. Even if she has one... she can't write or talk."

Green eyes looked up to blue. "Maybe those magnet shapes? She could spell her name." They didn't know how old she was though. "Dean she's either two or three. She may know her name but.... probably can't spell it." Crap. "Well how about Xena, huh? Like the warrior princess?"

"We're not naming her Xena." Ah, his highness was awake. "'Bout time you joined us sleeping beauty," Bobby grumbled. "I'm twentysix Bobby, I'm too young to be a dad." The older man sighed. "Boy, you lived else where you'd have been one at thirteen. God forbid the olden days."

Blue eyes lit up before the shirt was dropped and small hands reached for the younger Winchester. "Besides, think she's claimed you, " Dean commented. Sam looked at her with sorrow before picking her up and setting her on his lap. Well... trying too. Small arms hugged around his neck, giving him a morning hug.

He sighed as he hugged back. She'd already grown on him, but he couldn't do this! "I don't know what I'm doing though." Bobby laughed as he set a plate down for him. "Well no kidding, no parent does Sam!" Dean was still cutting up pancakes before drowning them in syrup.

He moved closer to his brother before getting the girl's attention. "Just be what dad wasn't, and Bobby was." It was that simple. "You'll figure it out, " Bobby sighed as he rolled his eyes at Dean's response. "We're gonna have to go back down and get her papers, " Sam grumbled as he took a bit of his food.

The girl didn't want the pancake offered, she wanted the big one her new daddy was eating. She opened her mouth and just looked at him like.... "give". The brunette pointed back to Dean. " That's yours." But, she wanted daddy's. Once more the mouth opened.

The younger Winchester sighed before taking the fork from Dean, who happily took care of Sam's plate. "I say we just get her a new number, change her name, and keel her the he'll away from the screw hole." Bobby sighed. "Brother's right. Besides, she's still adjusting to you. Leaving her here or taking her with you isn't an option. "

She looked at Sam, but didn't open her mouth this time. Ignoring Bobby, he huffed. "You just wanted mine!" Dean laughed a bit. "You ain't eating it now. Take a bite, then see if she wants it." The younger looked at him in disgust. "You drown it in syrup Dean." Bobby was getting annoyed with this. "Enough. Sam, eat the damn pancake before is scare her more and force feed it to you."

Enough said. Sam took a bite, baby took a bite. Soon enough the plate had been filled again and emptied again before small fry yawned. She fussed when Bobby came after her face with a damp cloth though.

Sam brought her up to the shared room to change her and put her down for a nap. As he did, Dean was put on dish duty. "I gotta get more food. Another mouth too feed, and Zeus is running low on kibble." The older quirked a brow. "Could have told me last week when I was going baby crazy." The old man sighed. "Just, make sure your brother doesn't do anything stupid."

It was maybe twenty minutes before Same came back down with a small bundle pressed to his chest. She already had favorite toys, and a giraffe blanket Dean found on clearance was one of them. Setting her down in the play pen, the new dad laid back on the couch with a sigh.

"Could be worse, she could be like.... an infant." Not helping. Sam shot him a glare before covering his face with his arm again. "We're putting a kid's life in danger Dean. How can you be happy about this?" The other patted his leg as to make him move. Sitting down, he found himself a foot rest.

"Well.... it's sticking with us and we protect and teach her.... or not knowing what happens to her."" His brother uncovered his face again while sitting up slightly. "So, put her though the same hell? Schooling, social life?" Dean rolled his eyes at the last one. "We're in a new day and age. She can do school online, you have a laptop."

"Money, " Sam fought. "Sammy, we've been getting by for yesrs. For someone who didn't want to her going anywhere else, you really are trying to get rid of her. " Was he? Guilt washed over him as he sighed. "Guess I'm just stressed, and scared, and anxious." He squeaked when there was a poke to his foot.

"Maybe Sammy just needs some time with his favorite brother? " Oh no, the smirk. Sam tried to yank his feet back, but to no avail. His laughter filled the room as he yelled and squealed for his brother to stop. "Dhehhean! Whehehr're too old fhahaor this! "

The older smiled. "Too old to cheer you up?" Sam was louder than the documentary on the television. He bounced around in his seat, trying to get away. "Nahhaha! D-DhehehaHEAN!" Starting princess hair spread across a throw pillow as the older brother moved to the younger's toes.

"Aw come on Sammy, I'm just helping you relax. Maybe de stress a little?" Dean had a shit eating smirk on as he destroyed his brother. It got a bit better and worse as he moved up the moose-like legs. Gasps and shrieks were heard from the younger as fingers dug into the back of his knees.

For Dean, it was like trying to stay on a Bucking Bronko bull ride, or something similar. Sam was physically meaker, but he had some powerful strength in his body. "Shit, ghehehet ahahahway!" Taught and skilled fingers dug into smaller thighs before hands tries to pull at them.

"Sammy, language. Your going to give her a potty mouth!" They really needed a name for her. "Yhahhaour ghahahaoning thahahao whahake HER! DEAN!" Sam shrieked when his brother started to tickle his navel. He shoved, swatted at, and tries to knock off the other. "I'm not going to wake her, but you are. Lower your voice Sammy."

"Sthahahaop chahahalling mhehehehe thahahat! No, get away get awahahahhahay!" Hiccupy shrieks and giggles poured like music from the younger as his armpits were messed with. Tears started to come down Sam's red face as he shook his head and tried desperately to get Dean off him.

The torment stopped as a moose toy hit the older in the head. They both looked over to see a small being just looking at them with tear filled, cranky eyes. They disturbed nap time! "Hey, that wasn't nice," Dean fake pouted. "Neither was waking her and tickling me to death, " Sam growled before shoving Dean back towards the other end of the couch.

The dad stood up before taking his cranky little moose and trying to lull her back to sleep. As he did.... curiosity came over Dean. He stood up before putting the moose toy back in the pen and walking over to the two. Sam stepped back warily. "Don't even. I will drop her," he hissed.

Green eyes rolled before the other tries to find a little foot. "No, I'm curious about something." From when he saw her before the murders, sue was a pretty giggly kid. She talked a lot too. She was scared into silence, so to speak. Sam said it was a form of turama, but maybe he could still get a little giggle out of her. Hell, he just wanted a smile!

But daddy stepped back again. "What are you doing? Leave her alone. Dean, she's trying to nap." The other rolled his eyes. "Here's an idea, let me try this and stop nothing about being a dad and come up with a name for her." Blue eyes rolled before a little head shot around to see what was touching her.

She honestly looked like a sleepy, little puppy. "You ticklish," the uncle asked. She simply pulled at her foot and turned back to sleep on her daddy. "Dude, I told you, leave her be." The older sighed. "Name, Sammy. I just want her to smile. Didn't your extra college classes tell you laughter is the best medicine or something?"

The taller huffed. "That's not how turama works Dean." Okay, so both baby and daddy were cranky. "Well.... who's pull up am I changing first? Her's or your's?" Both were un amussed. "Aw, look Sammy; She's already acting like her daddy!" The other scoffed a bit before turning to walk back up to the bed room.

"Aw, come on Sam! You have no humor." Before the other was fully upstairs he yelled up again. "You don't name her soon, I'm calling her Xena or Ivy!" That caused the other to stop. "Really, not Barbra or Selena, " Sam scoffed. "She can be your little Batgirl." Dean smirked. "Ain't passing the buck that easily."

He thought for a moment. "So Sammy needa tickle therapy for a name, crankiness, and new dad syndrome? Coming right up! " Foot steps pounded through the house along with yelling and shrieks of surprise and laughter.

By the time Bobby got home, he was met with the sight of a cranky toddler who opened her arms to be taken away from the sleeping bafoons. "These idjits keep ya' awake, huh? " She clung to him before sighing in relief; It was nap time.

The older hunter looked over his boys before rolling his eyes, this would be there hardest job yet.

[fanficcollection]

Tumblr-Girl (Part 5)

Tumblr – Girl (series)

Part 1 Part 4 Part 6

Masterlist

Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: you made a new friend, didn’t you? Word Count: 2.080 Warnings: panic attack, angst, depression, mental illness, self doubt

Notes:

thanks soooo much to @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki​ for beta-reading so fast, so that I can throw it out for you guys even faster. 

Also I wanted to thank y’all for sticking around (it took a while writing this one) and giving me so much strenght with your comments! I really had some hard days, but your appreciation helped me a lot! Love you guys! 

Now enjoy chapter 5!

Your POV

Some time passed, a few days, maybe a week, the medication you got stood untouched on the sink in your bathroom, your arm hurt awfully, but you couldn’t get yourself to take the painkillers. You had some more talks with Dr. Richard; he was nice, he seemed like he cared about you. You found out he was just a few years older than you, he lived alone, a bit outside the city. Every time you met him you both continued your question-answer game, it never was boring, you got to know him better and your relationship turned. Dr Richards was no longer Dr Richards to you, but now Jacob, and you often met with Jacob for some coffee, lunch or even for a drink in the evening together. He became a very good friend and you found yourself telling him things that you would normally tell Dmitri. However you still didn’t feel that comfortable to tell him everything about you, so you weren’t as honest with the Doctor as you were with your your Tumblr friend. ,

You were not in the mood to look up your tumblr, most of it was sad stuff you posted when you had some of your hard days, and since you turned off the notifications you didn’t even see if someone wrote to you. No, that was not true, to be honest, you sometimes thought about checking up your social media pages, but… you couldn’t get yourself to do it, it hurt too much. You knew Dmitri had probably shot you a few messages, but Jacob told you once that if you bury yourself too deep in that online friendship you would lose contact to your environment, to the people who mattered in your real life.In one way this argument was clear to you, but on the other side there was no one in your real life, maybe beside of Jacob, that was really important to you. So you were in a conflict with yourself, but you decided for the moment to listen to Jacob and to keep social media mute, even if it was hard at first. It somehow felt like you lost a good friend, but on the other side the girls in your university were right, you would end up alone if you didn’t keep your mind focussed on the real things.

Somehow this situation reminded you of the Supernatural episode, when Dean showed Sam to press this one point on his hand to stay in reality, it hurt but it was necessary, you felt exactly as Sam did. It kept you where you really were, who you were, this unimportant girl nobody cares about. Maybe Jacob was your Dean, who kept you real? Although you understood why you did that step, your anxiety got back, not in the moments you were with Jacob, but when you were alone. It got worse, but you told nobody. You didn’t want to be that wreck again, you could not disappoint Jacob. There were only two opportunities, either you continued playing the healthy, good girl or you stopped it, did it right this time, no step back.

Mishas POV

After my talk with Jensen I waited, days went by, but my inbox stayed empty, I was sure something has happened to Y/N, she wouldn’t stop texting like that, I was sure I failed at helping her, I was a crappy friend,  why hadn’t I got her help when I thought she needed it? Every now and then I wrote a few lines and sent it, my hope left slowly, but I didn’t want to give up, I couldn’t. As long as I didn’t know exactly what was up with her I felt some kind of responsibility for her. I couldn’t just stop caring. I kind of saved her life, at least she told me this more than one time. Last time she replied that she was feeling good, yes, sure I knew depression doesn’t just leave the other day, but… yeah, but… I should have known it, I should have taken care of her more.

Day after day I checked my mails, my tumblr-Inbox, I looked her tumblr-profile up, just absence, no goodbye, no sign of life, not a comment about her sudden leaving. I now was sorry that I never asked Y/N for another way to keep up contact to her. A way other than a stupid blog-page. Any other way to make her recognize me would be great. Just some sign that she was alive. Nearly every, or every second day I shot her a message, every day a bit different, but always with quite the same content. Today I started typing again, by now it nearly was a ritual for me, just a few lines, but enough to tell Y/N that I didn’t forget her.

“Hey lovely,

I haven’t heard from you in ages, and wanted to make sure you are okay. Just give me a short text if you are fine, you know how my mind works, you know I worry.

I know this is my fourth text in about a week, but you never were silent so long, so what happened? I’m sure talking will help, getting it off your soul is always a good thing. I’m ready to listen, Y/N, I’m here.

Please write me!

Dmitri”

This night, as many nights before I thought about my failure, I hadn’t slept well in days, I saw the worried look on Jensen’s face when I was on set or when we did something together, I saw the pain in his eyes when he watched me and for him I tried to hide this feelings, the tiredness, I tried to be the ‘good old Misha’ I always was before, funny and happy, always joking. He shouldn’t get pulled into this, he didn’t earn that, he was a good friend, had nothing to do with it. I always tried to keep Jensen happy, but he didn’t buy it, he knew me, he knew I was beaten.

I often cried myself into sleep, thought about that life I probably wasn’t able to save, I read the old texts, cut myself off the others, I didn’t even want to go to conventions anymore, I realized that all these people put hopes and wishes in me and I couldn’t give them what they needed. I couldn’t be the role-model they were looking for, the angel they wanted me to be. I wasn’t any of that. I wasn’t able to help one single human being.

Once Jensen realized how bad it really was he was so sweet and caring, he often visited after work, cooked for the two of us, stayed for some movie nights, listened to my stories, he held me when I couldn’t stop crying, held me until I was asleep, sometimes stayed the night. He really had my back. Now I understood what Y/N had needed and what I couldn’t be for her, I always thought I was the thing to hold on, but now, I was in a similar situation I couldn’t imagine just having someone to talk over text-messages.

Your POV

You didn’t know Jacob long, but you developed a serious bond to him. A friendship, he was the one who held you, you decided to go along with the “play-the-happy-kid” as long as you could. After the loss of Dmitri, he was the only one who was there for you, he told you that so often that after some time you told yourself until you believed it.

After a good talk by a cup of coffee he drove you home and not for the first time you asked him if he wanted to join you for a movie or something. He normally told you he has got some work to do and wouldn’t come in, but today he smiled and nodded. You nodded as well when he parked the car in front of your house. In fact it was not your house, you rented a little flat in it, but who cares. You led him inside and showed him your flat. While you waited for the elevator you told Jacob why you lived by yourself, “You know, when I moved out from home, no, when your Mom kicked me out from home…” you swallowed hard, no, you didn’t want to talk about that. Not now. Maybe another time. “so I lived with some girls, I was 16, they were a bit older and it was horrible, so as soon I could afford it I moved into a own flat.”  You quickly shut the story.

He looked unpleased “You can tell me everything, you know that?” he said, but  in his tone wasn’t much empathy, at least you thought that. “I know. Thank you for being here for me.” You said and smiled when the elevator doors opened. “3rd floor.” You just said to Jacob, who stood closer to the buttons. In the elevator you didn’t say a word. It felt a bit awkward, you have never showed a guy your place, you hardly showed anyone your place.

*Stay calm* you told yourself and unlocked the door. “Come in.” you said and threw a shy smile. Your flat wasn’t very big, but enough for you. There was a little living room, with a cozy little couch, a TV-set, a few cupboards with books, and DVD’s, a small kitchen with a dining table and your bedroom with a king-sized bed. On the wall hung a few pictures, mostly in black, white and some dark red, highly abstract, but you felt the felt the spirit they sent out, you saw them on a street market and immediately fell in love with them.

“Wow. It’s nice here.” Jacob said. He checked out your furniture. You slightly nodded, you were unsure if he really liked it or if he just wanted to be polite. When he looked at you and smiled, you smiled back and asked “Would you like something to drink, maybe some wine or beer?” he nodded “Wine sounds nice.” You took a bottle red wine and poured a glass for him and a bottle with beer for yourself. “I’m more the beer-type.” you said to him and smiled. “So, what do you want to watch?” - “You always talk of this TV-show with those two brothers, maybe you should introduce me to those.” He answered and agreed euphorically. “Sure. I’m always up to some Supernatural”

You took the first season out of the shelf and shoved the first DVD in the DVD-Player. You didn’t know how many times you have seen this show, but every time you really enjoyed it, everything of it. How Dean broke into Sam’s and Jess’ room, how Sam defended himself and of course the famous “Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days”. You nearly shivered of joy.

With a look to Jacob you saw no emotions, he even looked a bit bored. You felt a bit disappointed, but maybe he would get more excited about it when he got a little bit into it. When in the last scenes Jess burnt at the ceiling and you nearly started to cry because of Sam’s loss, he laughed. You stared at him. What was wrong with him? “The bad special effects.” He just explained, but you still felt a bit angry. Yes, the show was trashy, but no, that was not a scene to laugh.

“I’m sorry, Y/N” he said and gently put his arm around your shoulders. “I didn’t know the show meant so much to you.” First you wanted to pull away, but then you leaned a bit into his touch. While the second episode started he softly stroke over your cheek. “Jacob,-“ you started, but before you could say anything you felt his lips on yours. First it felt strange, you wanted to stop, pull away, but he held you tight, didn’t let you go, and a few seconds later you allowed the unfamiliar touch, though you couldn’t really enjoy it. You allowed Jacob to continue the kiss, as after all, he had helped you so much, by being a friend, listening to you, not judging. You trusted Jacob, he wouldn’t hurt you, he cared for you. But then, so had Dmitri...

Part 6

Tag-List:

@jannalionheart​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @evyiione​ @destielschild

[asexualwardmeachum]

Chapter 2 is up ya’ll!!!

An Empty Vessel, But a Full Heart - an asexual Ward Meachum fan fiction

We all love a sad Ward don’t we?  I know I do.

-------------------------------

Chapter 2: Dear Old Dad

Summary:

Ward goes to see his dad a week after the break up and Harold Meachum is not the most comforting person in the world.

------------------------------

   “Ward are you listening to me?”

   “Hmm?”  Ward snapped out of his daydream turning to his dad who was sitting behind the office desk of his secret pent house.  The blonde man tilted his head in annoyance.  He pushed back the leather chair and stood up.

   “Markowitz is primed to take your position and you’re off in la la land?” His dad walked towards the other side of the desk where Ward was leaning.  A small part of Ward remembered to keep eye contact as his body tensed up the way it always did around Harold.

   “Uh, sorry, dad,” Ward said blankly.  He sighed looking at the top of his desk but keeping his peripheral on Harold.  “Just tired”.

   “No, no, that's not it,” his dad chided him leaning next to Ward on the desk, staring at the large flat screen displaying the laptop window.  Harold turned to Ward folding his arms.  “You sound terrible son.  Whats going on?”

   Ward took a sharp breath in.  “Nothing,” he said with raised brows.  

   “Son,” his dad commanded.  “Don’t lie to me.  I’m your father.  I know when you're upset.  Tell me what’s going on?  Because this Markowitz fiasco doesn’t seem to be bothering you as much as it should.”

   Ward stared at the ground his hands folded.  It had been a week. A week of not only emptying out his heart but as well as the drawer of Jesse’s things he kept at his place.  Ward had packed it all in a box which he was going to give to the lobby desk to mail for him.  When he had opened his apartment door to leave that day, ironically, there was a crumpled up box in the hallway, the lid hastily folded over so that he could see his sweater inside.  He and Jesse had had the same idea it seemed.  

   But it wasn’t just the past year Ward was emptying out of himself.  Not just all the late night study sessions, or falling asleep on top of each other on the couch.  Not just the days they ditched class with their friends to use the pool at Ward’s apartment complex, or the weekends drinking and adlibbing soap operas with the television on mute.  He was also emptying what was left of his heart.  Not just what he gave to Jesse but what he could give to anyone else, besides Joy and his dad.  Ward, as he was, was not enough.  Not enough for Jesse.  Not enough for his high school senior girlfriend.  Not enough for his boyfriend the year before.  He realized now it wasn’t his youth or inexperience that was in the way.  It was just him.  It was how he was and he couldn’t push his pathetic self past whatever it was that was stopping him from taking the plunge.  Who would put up with someone like that?  Someone who doesn’t want their dick sucked but can wank it just fine.  Someone who can’t stand the idea of his fingers in a vagina or on a clit.  Can’t stomach any part of him in anyone else or vice versa.  Who would tolerate a selfish, broken, asshole like that?  His throat ached and his temples throbbed as the thoughts occurred but they were the truth.  Day by day he was emptying out that part of him that hoped for anything, anyone.  He was unfixable and unlovable.

   Ward felt the oppressive hover of his dad’s body but he was struggling to find the words.  He took a breath, made himself empty and just said it.  “Jesse and I broke up”.

Without having to look he knew his dad was smirking and raising an eyebrow but Ward was too empty to even want to react.  He just concentrated on breathing.

   Harold sighed exasperated.  “Jesse, Jesse?  That crippled guy?”

   “Dad!” Ward mumbled annoyed.

   “Ha look, a reaction!” his dad jested knocking Ward’s arms with his knuckles and smiling.  He got up from his spot next to Ward heading back to behind his desk.  “Sorry, sorry, I meant the black kid”.

   “Dad, this isn’t funny!”  Ward turned to his dad who was pulling something out of the bottom desk drawer.  Harold held a glass bottle of dark alcohol as he put his hands up in a mock surrender.

“I know, I know!   He’s Filipino, ” Harold imitated Ward’s voice.  “Jesus you kids can’t handle a little joke.  So PC”.

   Ward threw his hands up in annoyance and turned back to face the screen.  He folded his arms and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in frustration.  There was the clinking of glass behind him and his father sighed.

   “Look, I’m sorry,” his dad said.  “I know it hurts. I know it feels like the end of the world.  But one day you’ll see,” he came around the corner and Ward opened his eyes to see Harold holding offering a glass of bourbon, “it’s all for the best”.  

   Ward took the drink without question.  He stared into the liquid while his dad sat back next to him cradling his own glass.  

   “I know you don’t want to hear this,” Harold continued, “but think of it this way.  Now you have less distractions and you can focus on school and Rand.  I’m sure the board would love to have a Meachum with more than an Associate's degree.  Makes them feel more secure about being bossed around by a twenty year old”.

   “I’m not the boss,” Ward replied after taking a gulp of the drink, shivering at the flavor he still wasn’t used to.

   Harold chuckled at Ward’s reaction.  “Not with that attitude you’re not.  And like I said this is a good thing.  You know if I were back at Rand you could go and get married to whoever you wanted.  But those weren’t the cards we were dealt”.  He put his arm around Ward whose shoulders tensed at the touch.  “I didn’t want to say this before but now that you’re getting closer to graduation you need to think of the future.  Not everyone at Rand is as open minded as you’re old man, especially the board”.  He squeezed Ward’s shoulder and Ward hated that it was the first touch he had the chance to take comfort in all week.  He knew exactly what his dad was going to say and Ward was already ahead of him.  He would never have to worry about what the board would think of his relationships.  There would never be another one.  Ward let his dad continue anyway, too tired to give a damn.

   “Besides, you still like girls.  Consider yourself lucky,” Harold downed his drink in one go.  “At least you can still fuck your wife without gagging, those poor gay souls that came before you.  You can still have a happy marriage-- son you're shaking. Ward!?”

   He thought he was empty, he thought he could listen to Harold and let it roll off his back.  But hearing the words out loud was more than Ward could take.  He was sure his dad was more mad about the spilt glass of  bourbon on the expensive rug than the fact that his son was hyperventilating.  He didn’t even bother to look at Harold as he doubled over sliding to the floor, leaning against the back of his dad’s desk.  He was trying to take a breath but all he could do was wheeze and sputter.  His heart was pounding in his ears and the tears wouldn’t stop.  He rocked back and forth and he could feel his dad grabbing his shoulders.  He could barely hear what Harold was saying but it was angry.  Ward tried to look at his dad who was shaking him but he couldn’t see through the tears.  Then suddenly he felt a snapping smack to his face that threw him on the ground. The pain only made everything worse and now he couldn’t breath.  He was gasping for air.  He heard the pounding of feet moving away from him.  He was alone and dying.  He wasn’t shocked his dad left but panic took over and against his better nature he tried to call out for him.  He needed help.  

Then the pounding of feet returned and a hand was behind his head lifting him up.  A stiff material was being shoved over his mouth and he heard his father yelling a word over and over again.  Ward’s body struggled but he finally took a gasp and it was loud and painful.  The material crinkled over his face as he took another brutal breath in.  And then another. And then another.  Each breath was easing on him and after a few more he was finally cognizant enough to realize the material was a paper bag.  He could see the bleary outline of his dad and feel Harold's hand holding the pouch over Ward's mouth.  The blood in his ears slowed and he could make out the noises around him.

“That's it son,” his dad said.  “Breath”.

Ward reached for his dad’s arm.  He was so terrified all he could think was to grab at his father, wanting his touch, wanting his loving hands around him again, like when he was a child.  It was instinct.  His dad was holding him, helping him, being a dad.  More tears streamed from his eyes as dizziness took over.

“Come on Ward,” Harold said.  “I can’t do this without you”.

Ward’s eyes rolled up in his head and as the darkness consumed him he was grateful it finally complied to his previous wishes.

-------------

Ward stared at the back cushion of the couch where he woke up. He studied the crinkles in the leather and the fibers in the stitching trying to keep his mind blank. He had moved the ice pack that was behind his neck to his chest, holding it there with his right hand. His whole body was limp and he felt like he would never want to move again.  Just rot here and starve on his dad’s couch.  Harold would love it.  Real father-son bonding.

   Harold moved behind the couch finishing up a call.  For a moment Ward thought back to when he was a kid, him and Joy playing their racing video game, little Danny waiting for his turn, and Harold on the phone with Wendell talking business strategies.  Ward wasn’t sure if it was a happy moment he was remembering but it was peaceful, static.

   Harold hung up the phone and moved over sitting in front of Ward’s legs at the edge of the couch, leaning on his own knees.

   “Well, Ward, you certainly know how to scare the shit out of me,” he said.  Ward looked down and huffed at the quip. Harold smirked.  “Listen, I can see you’ve got a lot on your mind right now.  So, uh, sleep it off here tonight.  I can handle Markowitz this time.  But Ward,” he turned putting his hand on Ward’s knee, “I am gonna need you back on your game.  Back at Rand.  So whatever this is, put it behind you.  The sooner the better”.  He patted Ward’s leg.  “Work is a great distraction from heartbreak”.

   Ward heard the words but felt nothing.  He guessed the good thing about the panic attack was that it used all his emotional energy.  Harold stood up from the couch and left.  Ward closed his eyes trying to sleep in this pent house he was starting to hate.  After a moment he felt the draping of a blanket on his body, and his dad patting his shoulder with a sigh.  As Harold walked away taking the ice pack with him, Ward mentally made a plan.  He’d do as he dad said.  Just school work, just Rand.  That's all that was left to do now.  That’s all he was enough for.

Notes:

I know a lot of people head canon Harold as homophobic and I absolutely respect those Headcanons. I just wanted to try something different.