#it also makes you wonder: if the things shadowheart remembers are already so horrific

[chaosroid]

I really don't hear enough people talk about the fact that Shadowheart was not only brainwashed as a child, but had her memories repeatedly wiped. This isn't just your run of the mill reeducation. Like we're talking about having your brain literally tampered with by magic on a metaphysical level which is so incredibly violating and just on a completely different level than the typical indoctrination you see an average cultist goes through.

Your memories and lived experience is fundamentally responsible for shaping the kind of person you are. We see how important memories are with Durge because once they lost their memories, they were no longer the same person and became someone entirely new. Shadowheart was frequently subjected to memory wipes since she was kidnapped as a child, forced to adopt Sharran dogma, and every time she started remembering things about her past or strayed from their teachings, they'd take her memories away again. Imagine the only memories you're allowed to keep are the ones your abusers let you, as they continue to alter your perception of reality in order for you to stay obedient to their control. This is gaslighting on a level we have literally never seen before irl.

It's no wonder Shadowheart says the things she says, and yet, somehow, against the strict doctrines and manipulation that's been hammered into her for decades, she always ends up reverting back to her true self. From Viconia's journal:

No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't erase the good in her. It's honestly impressive Shadowheart is able to fight the brainwashing to this extent. And when she's left alone for once with people who are patient with her and make her feel safe, when she's given enough time to find herself again without being reset back to square one every time she gained an inch? She thrives.