#it ages ago and was like. yeah i'll share it :D and i never did

[socialbunny]

FTM conversion of tfbodygothspikeneck. All four colors (well 3 + the one with the red boots). Considering going back and doing the other "version" of this mesh too, but I'm not feeling up to it right now. melodie9's teen fat male as the fat morph. only real issues (TO ME‼️) are that the chest isn't as flat as I would like it to be, and it's a bit warped in that area as well due to me attempting to flatten it. don't download if something like that would bother you.

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[hamsteroveriord]

🎀 🎸 3 ;  Eachother

"I finished the rough sketch, want to take a look at it, K?" Ena asks as Kanade works on composing the music for their upcoming song, "I would love to, Enanan." Ena then sends a image of the rough sketch to their nightcord server, and Kanade opens the file and smiles. "It looks wonderful, It fits what we're going for with the song very well." Kanade noted as Ena smiles back "I'm glad you like it so far! Although, I do have a few questions for the artwork...".

As Ena and Kanade chat away, Mafuyu is quietly working on the lyrics for their song. They look up towards Kanade's screen, and notices Mizuki quietly looking off distantly, like if they were lost in thought. Mafuyu moves their chair closer to Kanade and looks at the computer, "You've been very quiet today, Amia.". Mafuyu questioned as Mizuki snap back into reality, "Oh! Sorry.. I've been just thinking about something." Mizuki replys, now catching everyone's attention. 

"Yuki's right, you have been silent this whole meeting, is everything alright?" Asked Kanade, as Ena tries to figure out Mizuki's mood. "Yeah, usually I can't go a day without hearing some weird nonsense from you, what's going on?" Ena comments as Mizuki tries making the group worry less, waving their hands in defense. "I'm fine, I swear!" Mizuki then sighs as they start to get lost in thought again, "I've been just...thinking of someone." Everyone stays quiet as they see Mizuki drift off again, curious to know who this mystery person was. 

".. Who is it?" Mafuyu asks, finally breaking the awkward silence that had gone through the call for a few minutes. "It must be someone important." Kanade smiles as they continue to work on the instrumentals for their song. "...Yeah, I guess they are." Mizuki says absent-mindedly. "...So are you going to tell us who it is or not?" Ena finally added, continuing Mafuyu's question.

"O-Oh! well.." Mizuki laughs awkwardly, but then regains composure, "I've been..hanging out with this person for three months now, and--". Ena jumps from her seat shouting "THREE MONTHS?? AND YOU HADN'T TOLD US?!" Ena then realizes that she said that statement too loudly, and sits back down awkwardly. "Oh calm down, it's not that serious!" 

"We could've met this person ages ago and you never even shared anything about them? Are you planning to keep them for yourself or something?!"

"Well maybe I am! Maybe then they wouldn't see how much of a demon you actually are!!"

"Oh you did not, I am NOT a demon!--" 

"Be quiet." Mafuyu snaps, causing Mizuki and Ena abruptly end their silly argument and looks towards Mafuyu. "...Continue, Amia.". Ena and Mizuki finally settle down, making a guilty expression on both their faces, before Mizuki finally replies. "Well..after hanging out for three months, we finally decided to hang outside of our usual spot during lunch, and.." Mizuki stops, recalling the warm aura they felt around Ichika that day, "I guess it made me feel something .. different." Kanade then quielty joins their conversation, adding "What kind of feeling, Amia?".

Except, that was the problem, they had no idea why they felt they way they did in that specific moment, Mizuki finally tries to explain, "Well..thats the thing, I don't really know how to describe it." Ena then looks at Mizuki confusingly before asking "Could you at least try?". Mizuki tries to recall the feeling, but they get distracted by the time. "Um..Let me think about it later, our meeting is over." Everyone then looks at the time and they start to get ready to leave for the night. "I think I'll stay up a little longer for this song. If you ever want to talk about it, let me know, okay Amia?" Kanade offers as everyone puts their stuff away, "..Yeah, I will. Thanks, K." 

Mizuki then yawns and they all exchange their goodbyes, logging off for the night. Mizuki lays down in their bed, thinking about the conversation they had with the rest of the group. "What was that feeling.." They finally rest their eyes, and drift off to sleep.

Meanwhile, Ichika suddenly wakes up, unable to fall back to sleep. He lays on his bed for a few minutes, before deciding that maybe a fresh of air is what he needs and gets up to grab his phone. He tiredly rubs his eyes, trying to navigate to a certain file on his phone, finally being able to see clearly and plays the mysterious audio file. 

After a flash of colors and shapes surrounds him, he finally arrives at the School Sekai, where the usual classroom he and his friends practice completely empty. The beautiful bright stars from the night sky shine through the windows of the classroom, making everything in the room shine beautiful from the light like an artist painting a scenery. He walks out the classroom and wanders through the halls tiredly before bumping into Miku, catching both of them in suprise.

"Ichika! What are you doing here so late?" Miku inquired as Ichika rubs his eyes once again before finally looking back at her. "I.. can't sleep, I thought a change of scenery would be nice.." Ichika's answer gets interrupted by a big yawn, covering his mouth while doing so. "Well then, care to join me on the rooftop?" Miku smiles warmly at Ichika, smiling back in return, and nods as they both walk up the stairs together and push open the doors that lead to the rooftop.

The beautiful night sky shines down onto the rooftop, the stars brighter than ever. Miku and Ichika make their way towards the rooftop, near the tall fence that surrounds them as the soft breeze brushes through their hair. "So, what's keeping you up this late?" Miku asks curiosly as Ichika yawns, "I'm.. not sure." Ichika responds, sounding just as unsure. "Nah.. Something is up~ C'mon, tell me!" Miku says as she nudges Ichika's shoulder while chuckling. 

"Okay okay!" Ichika laughs as he nudges Miku's shoulder back, "It's actually...about someone." Ichika smiles to himself unknowingly, and Miku's eyes slightly widen but then turns into a smug expression. "You like them?" Miku teases, "No...No! It's not like that!" Ichika turns over to Miku, waving his hands defensively, but then stops and relaxes his hands. "At least..I don't think so." Miku looks confused as Ichika looks over the rooftop to the school campus below, "It sounds like this friendship's complicated~" Miku gives the situation some thought, "You wanna know what I think?" 

Ichika snaps back from his thoughts and looks back at Miku, "..Yeah?" Miku then stretches for a second before finally answering, "I think you should explore these feelings." Miku finishes stretching, and looks over to Ichika as she smiles. "Oh but-- I don't think it's that kind of--" Ichika stumbles over his own words awkwardly as he looks away from Miku and stares at the floor. "Hey there! I wasn't implying anything by that!" Miku reassures Ichika, taking note of his reaction and smiles to herself. 

"Just go with your gut feeling, do what you feel is right to you." Miku gently smiles as she looks beyond the rooftop fence to the stars afar, while Ichika looks back at her and smiles. "Do what feels right, huh?..". They both stand there in silence for a moment as Ichika takes a moment to think through his jumbled thoughts and emotions.

He's only known Mizuki for about 3 months, and he appreciates them for being his friend, but was his emotions more complicated than that? Ichika starts to recollect the memories of when they first met, remembering how he felt the day they bumped into eachother that faithful day. Ichika didn't think of it much back then, but now he isn't so sure.

"Why don't you think about it more tomorrow?", Miku suggests, smirking at Ichika. "You wouldn't want to start being late to school again, would you?". Ichika awkwardly smiles, "You're right, you're right.. maybe its better to think about it tomorrow morning instead.". Ichika turns away from the starlight view beyond the rooftop fence and heads towards the staircase, then looks back to wave Miku goodbye. "Hey, keep me informed on your situation~, I'd really appreciate helping you out!" Miku shouts as she waves back to Ichika. Ichika only smiles back, then turns and heads his way back and leaves the sekai.

He isn't really sure what feels different after that conversation, but it felt like a mysterious fog has been lifted.

[magicalyaku]

Greetings! It's been a while, but here I am, same as before (as in probably talking to much. :P) Work sucked the life right out me, I had a few conventions to attend, and I wrote another book. But things are slowing down again, and as I'm reading regularly again, I feel the need to share. I have four months which were hugely different in reading volume to talk about, so I'll split it up by theme this time! First up is: Ace books and Academic setting!

Dear Wendy (Ann Zhao): I was apprehensive about this one when I read the summary for the first time. Because two aroace protagonists? Awesome! But the setting and the story themselves didn't appeal to me at all. Unfortunately, that stayed true as I actually read it. Don't get me wrong, I do think it's a good book. I liked how the discussions about aro/ace and gender topics where integrated quite naturally into the story thanks to it being a college setting. And I liked what topics were chosen. It's just that I couldn't care less for that social media war they have going on. I'm the weirdo who has never used instagram, twitter, or facebook. The only thing I have is my tumblr and even here, I'm barely interacting with anyone. Stories centered around social media just aren't something that appeals to me. It also didn't help that the formatting of the e-book edition from libby that I borrowed was kinda hard to read for the posts and comments. I think I remember wondering if I am actually too old to enjoy this, but then again, the last ace/aro book I read before this was Just Lizzie which hit really hard and that was about a 12-year-old. :'D So personally for me, it was more meh, but I can see it resonating with other people. Go give it a try, please.

Upside Down (N.R. Walker): Another book with two ace protagonists, male this time and homoromantic. This one had me wary at first as well, because the author usually writes gay romance with smut? (That's what the books look like at least, haven't read anything.) But it's super cute and really funny. The discussions about asexuality were more basic in here than in Dear Wendy, the usual "we're all valid" etc., but a) they were for the most part well intergrated again as one of the protagonists leads an ace support group, and b) if the author's usual readers can broaden their horizons a bit through this, that's a good thing, right? Overall, I had a lot of fun reading this. There's two cover versions for this one. Obviously, the new one with illustration is superior.

A Darker Mischief (Derek Milman): Ugh, this … was weird? Intriguing? I'm still not quite sure what I'm supposed to take away from the ending. I'd have to reread the whole thing for the analytical part of my brain to activate and I'm not going to do that any time soon. The prologue was wtf, then for the longest time not much happened. Except, you could totally see the slow descent into the abyss. That one guy? Not real. The other one? Walking problematic person with difficult tendencies? Next guy? Alarm bells from every side. Fortunately, the main protagonist is smart enough, he's just poor and sixteen and been through rough times, what reflects in his choices. Oh, and there's probably a bunch of references in here that I didn't catch (history is not my thing at all). I did get the apple thing, at least. Yeah, so a weird experience, but all in all I liked the book.

Darker by Four (June CL Tan): This is one of the two books I read in April, so it was ages ago. :'D I remember having fun, though! It's the kind of book that was basically written for me. Badass sword-wielding heroine, suffering boy hero who kisses other boys, interesting worldbuilding, magic, evil creatures to slay, action, a sweet romance that is not the focus of the story, actual story to think about. A ton of good ingredients! What I liked best was that you get to know both protagonists, Rui and Yiran, equally as people. There's two of them but only one can have the magic! There's no choice but to have one of them suffer! And it's so mean, which makes it so good! I'm very eager to read the second volume to see where it all leads, the sacrifices and the triumph. <3

That's it for today. Next up will be another five books in Part Two: France and Other Places. :)

[shinsukesgf]

BAD IDEA.

issei gives you a punishment for being a brat— one that you weren’t so familiar with.

↳ includes : mean dom!issei to soft dom!issei, daddy kink, sorta bratty reader, heavy degradation, humiliation, face slapping, slight choking, breeding, squirting, use of the word cunny

a/n : this umm kinda bad imo bcs i havent written smut in ages so pls bare with me !!! T_T

You made the horrible mistake of being a brat, to try to get under Issei’s skin and on his nerves just for the sake of it. You knew how he was when he gets riled up, fingers twitching, teeth grinding & a cold smile pulled on his lips. Admittedly, you realised that this little plan of yours was very risky however the thought of seeing Issei in that state made all of your concerns float away.

Maybe it was the way you were just so touchy and feeling up Oikawa like that during the group’s gathering tonight. Or maybe it was the way you clearly let Hanamaki look at your body with a lust filled gaze, practically eye fucking you. Perhaps it was you complimenting Iwaizumi, going on about how muscular he’s gotten & how he’s just oh so strong. well it was one of these reasons— maybe even all of them— that led Issei reach his tipping point.

“Get up, you brat. We’re fucking leaving,” he spat out, bruising your wrist as he dragged you out and to the car. The voices of his friends go unlistened, them telling him to calm down & to stay for just a little longer. He could give two shits about what they think, after all they contributed to this little problem at hand. He’s gonna take you back home and teach you how to be a good girl like he always does, end of discussion.

“You think that was funny? Messing around with my friends right in front of my face, huh— being a fucking brat,” He spoke once you two were finally in the privacy of your home. That tone, he was using that tone of voice he only uses when you seriously fucked up and when he reached his limit, which was not often. You’d be a liar if you said you weren’t afraid of him but you couldn’t help getting aroused & pressing your legs together at the sight of Issei like this.

“I asked you a fucking quesion, whore.” The sound of his large hands hitting against your face echoed around the room. Naturally, tears filled your eyes as your face continued to sting from his slap. “No, daddy. I’m sorry for being a brat. I'll be better next time, I promise. Please forgive me,” It was purely embarrassing how quick you were to fall into submission for Issei but nonetheless, you always did.

“Ngaw come on, don’t tell me you’ve given up that easily. Where’s that confidence of yours you had back then? You were brave enough to piss me off, now you aren’t brave enough to even look me, doll” His laughter could be heard from above you, your teary eyes fixed on the ground— too afraid of looking him in the eye. “I- I’ll be good for you now, daddy. Please just forgive me.” You could hear how pathetic you sounded like in your own ears, Issei must’ve thought the same.

You felt his fingers on your chin as he lifted your face to get a good look at you— tears damping your warm cheeks and lips shaking & quivering as you looked into his dark and intimidating gaze. A smile stretched on his lips while he was enjoying the sight before him. You were always so pliant and innocent— so easy to get you on your knees for him. “I’ll only forgive you if you take your punishment well, how ‘bout that hm?” He wasn’t asking, it was more of a statement.

Your eyes followed Issei’s figure as he took a seat at the study desk in your shared room with all the composure in the world. He flipped a notebook open until he found a blank page and got ready a pen, as if he was ready to study and wasn’t calling you whore mere moments ago. “My lap. Now,” You quickly scurried to him, still afraid to disobey him. He had you face the desk while your back was flush against his strong chest, your waist held tight by his arms as well.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, You’re gonna write down for me I’ll never be a brat ever again while I fuck your cunt and you’ll only stop when I cum. If you stop writing without my permission, I’ll stop as well. Got it?” You dumbly nodded your head as a response. “Good girl,” Your heart fluttered in your chest even from the simplest praise from Issei.

Issei freed his hard and leaking cock from his pants and pulled your soaked panties off. Moans erupted from you as he sank you down on his cock, stretching that cunny of yours open. No matter how many times Issei fucked you, his cock was always a struggle to take in. Your cunny burned as Issei pushed more of his cock into you, stuffing you to the brim as he finally bottoms out. You held onto the desire to immediately start bouncing up and down on his cock, already wanting him to ruin your insides.

And in that split second, Issei let go of everything he was holding back on and let loose. He instantly started fucking you with much vigor, wanting to release all his pent up frustration from the day. Your fingers were turning white from how tightly you were holding onto the pen— trying to stay focused and write down the lines Issei told you to. Oh but the way his cock was filling you up, hitting all your sweet spots with every thrust was too addictive— you were moaning like a bitch in heat.

“Write down those fucking lines, slut,” His hand striked against your face to get your attention. You really wanted to but you couldn’t function with the way your cunny was getting abused by Issei. You barely managed to write down the first line, hardly intelligible with your messy handwriting. Grunts and soft moans could be heard coming from Issei as he humps your cunny— practically using you like a sex doll to satisfy his needs and only his. But you loved it, you loved every single second of this. That's when you feel Issei's thrust come to a halt, completely stopping.

“Stupid bitch. I told you I'd stop if you stopped writing. It looks like you’re not even trying, whore,” He grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled on it, arching your back. You mutter out apologies and began writing again, just desperate for him to start moving again— cunny clenching and fluttering around him.

“Dumb brat. You only think with this cunt of yours, don’t you? Whoring yourself out to my friends like that. You don’t even deserve my cock in you,” His cock was splitting you open once again— the tip hitting your cervix with each thrust.

“Say it, say you’re nothing but a cockhungry brat,” Issei’s hand snaked to your throat, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’m nothing but a cockhungry brat, daddy!” You used whatever energy you had left to obey his request. That familiar coil in your stomach was growing, you were close to cumming, oh so close. Issei's thighs burned as you digged your fingernails into them, leaving crescent shaped marks on them.

“Close to cumming already huh? Such an easy bitch. Beg for it,”

“Pleasepleaseplease I needa cum d-daddy. Need it so bad p-please let me,”

“Go ahead, baby. I want you to make a mess on me,”

And with that you fall over the edge and gushed all over his lap, embarrassingly soaking him with your cum. Trembling and shaking, you stayed there on Issei's lap— chest heaving up and down as you gasp for air to steady yourself. His fingers comb through your hair, lips leaving small & soft kisses on your neck & collarbones. “Always such a good girl for me,” He muses, you could hear the smile in his voice.

His kisses on your neck become more harsh and passionate— desperate for something more. “You gonna let me fill you up real nice with my cum, yeah?” Meekly nodding, you gave Issei the green light to continue.

He started humping your tight cunt again, this time with more affection and feeling. He loved hearing you squeal and tremble as he fucked you— you always made the prettiest noises.

“Daddy’s gonna fill this cunny of yours with my cum. I’m gonna breed you and stuff my cum deep inside of you,” He moaned out against your skin as he got closer and closer to his release.

“Please daddy, breed me. Want your cum in me, please,”

Issei grunts and curses as he shoots his load into you, his warm cum filling your cunt up. Shivers run down as he feels your tight cunny clenching and squeezing around him. He pulled you closer to him— chin on your shoulder and arms wrapped securely around your waist.

“I wasn't too harsh on you, was I?” He mutters out, almost breathlessly.

“Not at all, Issei. It was perfect, really,”

“Hmm I’m glad then,”

“Sorry for acting up. You know I love you only, right?”

“I love you too, princess,”

[tinisprout]

Not as a Friend

Pairing: Heeseung x gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word count: 2,485

Summary: The two of you have always been close to each other. Saying, I love you, as friends, since young. But your feelings are deeper than that of a friend. A confession pushes you to tell him how you really feel, even if it might ruin your friendship.

A/N: It's been a millennium since I've written. This is also my first time writing in First Person so this was a struggle. Still, I hope it's not too bad. *I wrote this with the thought of the Reader and Heeseung being high school seniors, already 18, but I never specified age or grade in the story, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Anyways, enjoy!

The walk home with Heeseung today feels unbearable, I know that he keeps glancing in my direction, I know he’s worried after seeing my face in class. That makes it hurt even more, he’s so kind and caring, what did I do to deserve a friend like him? We continue our walk back home in silence and I think about the past.

I like you and I love you are very straightforward words, but depending on the context of the relationship they can have a different meaning. I remember the first time I said I loved him, it was a very wholesome moment. We were only six, our mothers watched us play together in the park, “They haven’t known each other for very long but they get along so well,” my mother said gleefully.

“Yes, they must really like each other,” Heeseung’s mother replied. I lifted my head to look at Heeseung, our eyes met and we smiled at each other. Hearing their conversation, I turned to them ready to tell the world about my friend.

“I love Heeseung, he is my best friend!” I grabbed his hands, they were just as small as mine. Heeseung leaned into me, flashing a dazzling smile to our parents.

“I love y/n too.” It was so innocent. For a long time after that, we never had a problem saying, I love you, to each other. It was just a casual statement between friends. In instances when saying goodbye to each other or times when we would annoy each other, one of us would say, ‘you still love me, don’t you?’ and the other would reply ‘...I still love you.’

It changed when we were older and our peers would make fun of us for saying it so casually. I wasn’t bothered by the teasing, but Heeseung would always try to defend the innocence of our relationship, “Guys, we don’t like each other. We're just friends, this is just how we have always been with each other.” I had already started to develop feelings for him, maybe I was feeling guilty because when I would say, I love you, it wasn’t so much in a platonic way anymore. So one day I drew a line.

“Heeseung, you know I love you, right?” We sat in his living room, relaxing after we came back from school.

“What’s wrong?” I guess my tone didn’t sound too happy, he looked concerned as he looked at me in silence waiting for my answer.

“I think we should stop saying, I love you, to each other...not just in front of our classmates, but probably when we’re alone too.” He sat up straight quickly, pushing his hair back.

“What, why? Is it because of all the teasing?” I couldn’t meet his eyes and tell him the real reason.

“Not really, I’ve just been thinking. We aren’t in love with each other or anything, we’re just friends. When you do end up dating someone, I don’t want to be the problem in your relationship. If I was in their shoes, I think I would be jealous. So...yeah.” I looked back up at him, he looked at me too, seeming to be thinking and searching for something. After the long pause, he slumps back a little and leans his head back, letting out a big sigh.

“If that’s how you feel then we can do that.”

“Hey come on, it’s not like I suddenly stopped caring about you.”

“Ha, yeah.” He gave a small smirk. We continued our evening together with a somewhat awkward atmosphere.

Not long later, I regretted what I said that day. Most people were finished with class cleaning, same for me. I was packing my things, getting ready to leave school with Heeseung like we do every day. Weirdly enough Heeseung usually finishes before me and comes to me first, but he wasn’t here yet. I walk to his classroom after I'm done getting ready, and yet still, I didn’t see him. I asked some of his classmates, “Hey, do you know where Heeseung is?”

“Uh, he left with a girl a little while ago, but he didn’t take his stuff,” one of his classmates answered, pointing to his bag half-packed on his desk, he didn’t take his phone either. Many thoughts flew through my head, but the loudest one was, ‘He’s getting confessed to.’ I pursed my lips and then said my thanks to his classmates and left back to my classroom. I wanted to take his bag, pack it for him, but the thought of finding out that he said yes, I don’t think I could look at him, it would hurt too much.

I sat down on my seat in the now-empty class, laying my head down and covering my head with my arms. ‘A confession doesn’t take long, I’ll wait for 10 minutes max. If he doesn’t come to get me then I’ll just leave.’ I gripped onto my forearms, ‘I should be happy for him if he says yes to her.’ I started to anxiously bounce my leg, ‘Please, come back soon.’ It felt like an eternity left alone with my thoughts. The sounds outside the classroom slowly softened as students continued to leave. Within the muted sounds came pounding footsteps and then the sound of the door slamming open. Startled, my head shoots up from the desk and I look to the door. There he was, bag slung on one shoulder, his breathing irregular from running, a nervous smile on his face as he let out a just as nervous chuckle.

“Thank goodness you're still here, I wasn’t sure if you left without me. And sorry, I had to do something really quick.” His face fell when he saw my face go from shocked to one that was holding back tears, emotional upheaval nearby. “What’s wrong? What happened?” his eyes were filled with concern as he quickly went up to me kneeling in front of my seat. His head now lower than mine, I looked down at him.

“Heeseung,” my voice had a slight tremble. “I- can we go to your place first...I’ll be ready to tell you then.”

“Of course,” he wrapped his arms around my body, it was such a natural gesture. “It’s gonna be okay.” I hoped it was going to be okay and that he wouldn't leave me after this.

"I-I would never leave without you," even though I said only 10 minutes, I would have waited till the sunset, till there was no more hope. With those last words I pull away from him and we walk out of the classroom without another word and made the seemingly long walk home. Finally, at his home, his parents are still at work it seems so we head straight upstairs. He gets into his normal spot on his bed but instead of leaning against the wall, he sits forward, looking at me. My normal spot would be next to him but I just stood in front of his bed. I don't want to make him uncomfortable after what I'm about to tell him.

"Before I say anything else, I just want to confirm something, if you are comfortable with sharing. What did you have to do during cleaning time?" Heeseung processed for a bit and then his eyebrows shot up in realization.

"Oh uh…" he hesitates.

"It's fine if you don't want to share." ‘I'm still gonna say what I have to say regardless of the answer, I thought to myself.’

"No, no, it's just a little weird. I…got confessed to," silence.

"...Ah, I thought that was the case."

"I rejected them!” he retorted. “...sorry, I'm not mad at you, I just-” he sighed while putting his head in his hands. “I don’t want to make this about me, but I need to say something to you too,” he looks back up at me. I was startled but I knew he wasn’t angry at me, but he was obviously in distress.

“It’s okay, Heeseung. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. I just hope I don’t ruin the mood after this. Okay, okay, ...sorry, just a little bit longer,” I say, letting out nervous laughter. I start to pace around his room, nerves getting the best of me. I feel my heart pick up speed and I try to keep my breathing under control, clenching and unclenching my fists. I didn’t realize he got up from the bed till I felt his hand squeeze mine. I look at him, freezing up in his gaze. My thoughts are telling me to run away but the heat from his hand was suffocating against my burning one, and yet I didn't want to let go, the feeling told me to stay.

"Hey, you know. You know... I'll love you no matter what. It's okay." Those words that I want so dearly to be true made my heart stop and my body tremble with trepidation. More than anything I didn't want to lose Heeseung, but I care about him, so I don't want to lie and not tell him how I really feel.

"I love you so much. I- I don't know what to do with myself…" My hand squeezes his back, making his hand quiver along with mine. There was heat building up behind my eyes, vision becoming a little blurry.

"It’s okay, breathe. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“No, you don’t get it,” the tears that had been brimming around my eyes finally fell. “I love you and I always will but for a long time now it’s been more than that. I like-like you, I- I’m in love with you! I don’t want to be just your friend anymore. The thought of you being with someone else hurts...so much, but I’ve been too scared to say anything because I don’t want to lose you.” The words became more unsteady, I tried to stop myself from losing complete control of my emotions. I slowly started to sink to the floor and Heeseung followed me down till we popped to the ground in the middle of his room. While stared into each other’s eyes the entire time, I could see Heeseung’s face change, expressing multiple different emotions, none of them seem good.

“...I’m sorry, I d- I didn’t know. I’m sorry, y/n.” Heeseung pursed his lips, he looked like he was about to cry with me. He lets go of my hand and wraps his arms around my body squeezing me tight, repeating, I’m sorry. Are we both trembling now? It’s hard to tell if it’s just me but I wrap my arms around him too and let it all go, my whimpers and sniffles became full-blown sobs. I don’t know how long we cried for, but eventually, our cries came to a hush. It seems like we cried for a long time together and I feel exhausted.

“Ugh, I kinda feel like I have to throw up.” As an attempt to lighten the mood I joke about the very real condition of my stomach, while I pull away from him. Heeseung sniffles and chuckles.

“Yeah, same here,” we look each other in the eyes again. His hands came up and touched my face wiping away the dampness from my cheeks. Even after gently wiping he still kept his hands there. “I’m sorry, that I was a coward. If I just told you how I felt sooner, much sooner, you wouldn’t have to suffer like that. I’m in love with you too…” He pauses to see my reaction as I process this new information. “Pfft, I thought you would have been happy, why are you crying again?” he teases as he rubs at my face again. Even in a moment like this, we can't stop our bantering.

“Shut up, these are tears of happiness,” I hadn’t even realized more tears fell out, I thought I was all cried out. “We are both cowards though. It feels kinda silly now, we’ve cried this much just to say, I love you. When did it all become so complicated?” I sighed, tilting my head a little.

“I don’t know exactly when I fell for you, but when I realized, I knew I wanted you by my side, always, not like before, not as just friends. But I was afraid of ruining our relationship if you didn’t feel the same way.” I grab his shoulders pushing him down to the ground, straddling his body.

We’re so lame, worrying about the same thing, and in the end, we have nothing to worry about, because we both like each other!” Heeseung raises an eyebrow.

“Correction, love each other.” I purse my lips as I look down on him.

“Yeah, I like you, I love you, I’m in love with you! Happy now?

“Yup,” He gave a sly smirk.

“...Damn, I really want to kiss you.”

“What’s stopping you?” ‘Fair enough,’ I thought as I leaned down, closing my eyes, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. I could feel his lips form a smile against mine which made me smile too. I pulled away laughing, the happiness I’m feeling right now seems unreal, but looking at his smile, the reddish color that dusted his cheeks and ears told me just how real it was.

“That was nice,” I say as I remove myself from the top of his body and lay beside him.

“Much better than our first kiss. This time I didn’t have to hide how much I like kissing you.” He turns his body to face mine, propping his head with his hand. My eyes widened at this revelation.

“Wait, you liked me since then?”

“Definitely before then, but yes.”

“Ahh, why were we both so oblivious?!” I bring my hands up to cover my face.

“Hey, at least we know now. I don’t plan on letting you go.”

“Oh, dearest boyfriend of mine, who said I was going anywhere without you?” Heeseung grins from ear to ear.

“I like the sound of that.”

“I’m sure all our classmates and friends will love to tease us about this when they find out. Heeseung cringes at that statement, not exactly something to look forward to.

Sure enough, when we came to school the next day we decided we were not going to try and hide anything, and walked to school holding hands, fingers intertwined. The hollers from our friends and classmates made us embarrassed, but explanations would come later. Though what left everyone flabbergasted, myself included, is when we had to part ways, going into our classrooms, Heeseung bent down and tilted my head up towards his and kissed me. It was short and he left me in the hall dumbstruck as he scurried to class. The shouts of everyone watching were lost to my ears. I was so gonna get him later for this.

[slvtbible]

G O L D

chapter one

summary: [y/n is a young stripper who is adored by many men. harry styles is a man who loves to carry danger with him]

word count: 4222

pairing: stripper!y/n and gangleader!harry

warnings: violence, vulgar language, sexual acts, alcohol and drug

to be honest, i was a little hesitant to post it here and i don’t know if this story will blow up on tumblr or get many notes but that’s the last thing on my mind right now. i just want to share what i’ve been working on that kept you guys waiting for almost a year lol sorry about that. But yes, she’s finally here!! I posted first on wattpad before i put it here, I felt like the only way to reach out more people to read it it’s through that. And also, i decided to use a name on wattpad but I’d use the term ‘y/n’ on tumblr. Enjoy it all my loves! Give me feedbacks!💜

*

*

Harry fixes the collar of his sheer black shirt before tucking it neatly inside the black trousers he's currently wearing. He normally goes something more extravagant for going out. His closet is filled with colourful ruffles and Hawaiian shirts along with 'more than one colour' suits. However tonight, he needs to lay low for a bit. Especially when he's about to step into one of the most famous strip clubs in New York in an hour to meet up with the manager.

He's very much aware of the reputation he has put on himself out there. Though there's no use of camouflage and hiding, he still doesn't want a cause a scene,

Yet.

His hand lifts a bottle of Tom Ford from the dresser before spraying it twice on his neck. Stepping away from the full length mirror, he grabs his cross necklace from the bed before putting the accessory around his neck as he walks out of the room.

"Talk to me Reece" his heavy accent echoes the hallway as he walks downstairs, watching his few men pocketing their weapons,

Reece, the brown skinned man with tattoos nods. "He's there. Just got a word from Bianco. He appears isn't expecting you, Boss. However I do believe he knows you're coming soon. The club is far too crowded than usual but Bianco is taking care of that right now." He informs, showing him the message on the phone,

Harry can only scoff, nodding at him as a thank you. "That son of a bitch should've. Owes me more than fucking money." He mutters, inserting the .45 ACP inside his gun holster. "The car's ready?"

Nodding, Reece leads Harry down towards the basement. "As requested. Lamborghini Murcielago in blue hera. Pack with 640 PS and 471 kW, rules around 213 mph if you consider on hit and run. Still, I pack a standard Aeropack wing if you wanna go slow tonight. The windows? Bulletproof. In case anyone tries to kill you." Harry knows he's only joking about the last part. No one dares try to kill him before he does it. It's a pattern that everyone knows by now.

Harry lets out a low whistle, softly shaking his head as the machine beauty appears. Tracing lightly with his ring cladded fingers along the hood of the car. "Not planning to hit and run tonight, Reece. Not even thinking about racing down the street with my weapon outside the window. You don't have anything more. . . Less attractive?" He questions, still staring at the gorgeous car ahead of him,

"You know I don't do less, boss." Reece winks playfully, laughing to himself as he watches Harry roll his eyes. "Besides. Who knows you'll get yourself a bird tonight, eh? Take her out on a stroll before bringing her home to your place. Women love fast cars." He comments, pressing the button on the keys as the door opens,

Humming as a response, Harry walks towards the driver's seat, "I don't date anymore, thought my right hand man knew tha' " He speaks, words laced with seriousness while grabbing the keys from Reece's fingers,

He can only sigh and nod his head. "Understood. Yet, Kendra is like what? Two years ago? Gotta get yourself something better, boss. You deserve it. So do it tonight." He suggests, watching him going inside the car before shutting the door,

Harry smiles a bit, inserting the keys inside the ignition before starting the car. "Noted."

The dark haired man steps away from the car. Giving Harry a salute. "I'll be right behind you. See you there."

*

*

*

Y/N Y/L/N stands in front of the mirror as she applies another layer of red lipstick on her plump lips. Securing the tube back as she puckers her mouth to see if it fits the colour for tonight. She twirls, watching carefully how the gold lingerie clads perfectly around her breasts and down to her curvy hips and thick thighs.

She stops once her plump ass is facing the mirror, admiring how beautiful and big her bum is in the lingerie. It's a compliment really. She loves working out to give her bum a bit bigger. It's not that she hopes she'll gain attention from people, she just loves her body. She worships every piece of it despite what other people think of it. Insecurity was her biggest enemy but not anymore. After reading lots of books and poems about self love she learns that there's nothing she should be ashamed of.

Grabbing a bottle of lotion from her table, she squeezes the bottle into her hand before rubbing her bum with the cold cream, rubbing it neatly to make sure she doesn't miss a spot.

Another thing, she loves moisturizing her plump flesh before the show. It's sexy

"Joe is asking for you." She hears a voice coming from behind, craning her neck to see her closest co-worker Violet, already in her usual purple wig and attire as she stands beside Angelina. "I love working as a stripper but he really needs to learn to be patient and. . . shut up, i guess?"

Y/N releases a small laugh, moving her long dark wavy hair to rest on her chest. "I know, I know. Jesus, I've told him fifteen minutes prior that I'll take longer than usual." She slips on her gold heels and turns to face Violet, who's biting her lip as she stares at Angelina's body up and down. "Okay, how do i look?"

Violet raises her eyebrow, as if it's something her friend shouldn't be asking. "You kidding? You look like a sex goddess. Gonna get all the men on their knees for you, girl"

Scoffing, she shoots her a wink and a flirtatious smile. "Old men with beer bellies? No thanks. I'd rather make out with Gordon." She replies, seemingly disgusted about the thought of grinding on an old man's lap tonight.

"Is that a bet I hear?" Violet questions, leaning towards her a bit as she waits for her friend’s response. "Please tell me that it is so I can earn extra cash tonight."

Gordon is a perverted bartender that always keeps his eye on Y/N throughout her routine. He's 40 and is always asking Angelina on a 'date' and by date, he means her ass on his lap. Clearly something Y/N isn't too fond of. Him specifically. Violet and Y/N have always made a joke about him, something they could make a playful banter in every chance they get.

Plus, she heard he's married. Isn't he supposed to find another job rather than here? If his wife found out what kind of a sleaze bag she married, she would be crushed,

Rolling her eyes, Y/N shoves her playfully by the arm. "Ha ha, very funny" she answers, resuming to untangle her hair from knots.

Violet laughs, pinching her on the hip as she lets outa small squeal. "Just messing with you, baby. Good luck out there. Put the rest of us to shame tonight. . . Like any other night"

Y/N flips her off, yet knowing it's the truth. She's not trying to sound like a condescending bitch here but none of the girls here are actually capable to do what Y/N does. That's what makes men attracted to her. She knows what she's doing. She knows how to make a man hard.

"By the way, you heard what Joe's talking about earlier?" Violet asks, toeing off her heels as she exhales a relief sigh. "Damn those heels are killing me" She mumbles,

"No... What's about?" She turns her head to face Violet for her to explain, causing her to shrug her shoulders,

"Don't know much about it. . . But i hear Harry Styles is coming here to meet up with him. Something about transaction or shit" She waves it off, whispering it to Y/N, looking around to make sure no one is eavesdropping,

She almost chokes on her saliva after hearing Violet says the name. "Harry Styles?! The. . . mafia boss of New York..?" Her eyes widen at the possibility of the most dangerous man in the city paying a visit to the place she works at,

Nodding, Violet answers, "Yup. That Harry Styles. He's the devil. Let's hope this place doesn't turn into a war zone."

Y/N has heard about this Harry guy. The most feared man of New York. She does know a little bit of the relations between Joe and Mr. Styles. Almost every night she could hear Joe freaking out about this man. She may not know him that close, hell she had never even met him in person but people talk. One thing she learned about hearing his reputation, you don't ever want to mess with this guy.

Violet snaps her fingers to snap Y/N out of her thoughts. "Less worrying, girl. Come on, you got a show to put on yes?"

"Y-yeah. Fuck. . . now i'm scared" She breathes out, looking at her reflection in the mirror one last time. Calming down her mind.

After giving Violet a kiss on a cheek and receiving a tap on her ass, she takes a deep breath as she opens the beaded curtain and walk out to the club. Jhene Aiko is playing through the speakers, thanks to her who chose the music for tonight. She can already feel all eyes on her as she struts down confidently, putting on a smirk and winking at couple of men here and there. As much as it disgusts her, she grazes her hand along a man's arm who's biting his lip and looking at her up and down.

'What the fuck did i do to deserve this?' she thinks to herself, staring at the man in front of her who's probably the same age as her father. The thought of it makes her gag,

She gives the man a wink before getting up on the stage, hearing a few hollers from behind. reaching out to wrap her hand around the silver pole and her leg hooking up to support her body. Slowly twirling with her head thrown back and closes her eyes with money being toss at her direction before letting go and crutching down on her knees, moving close towards the same man earlier. He slips in a couple of hundred dollar bills inside her panties, causing the others to do the same.

This may be not how she pictures her success but damn, by the end of the week, her bank account can go from three to six digits.

She's definitely gonna hold on to that,

*

*

*

It takes Harry close to thirty minutes to get here. He blames it all on the traffic, cursing to himself every time he stops at red lights. He parks his car close to the entry before he exits from the vehicle. He looks over his shoulder to find a familiar black car driving towards her, noting to himself it's Reece's. Seeing him wave his hand to make sure he's coming in later.

He clears his throat, clenching his jaw as he walks into the club. Reece wasn't lying, the club is too packed for tonight. As if God knew what is about to get down tonight and isn't going to let him get away with witnesses. He really needs to play safe for a while tonight.

As he strides through the room to find a table he has reserved for, a few half naked girls walk right pass him, stroking his exposed chest and grabbing his shoulders. Most of them are gorgeous and he's tempted to touch their soft skin yet he has to hold it. Not that he isn't interested because he's definitely taking someone back to his place tonight--fucking Reece had to be right-- but he needs to get his head in the game for at least an hour before planning to do so.

Gently, he pulls back a chair for him to sit. He specifically asks for the furthest table so no one can figure out what he's about to do tonight. A glass of whiskey has been set on his table before he got here, waiting for Joe's arrival. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Reece and Bianco walking over to his table. One of them gives him a nod to acknowledge his presence.

Harry lifts the glass up to his lips and take a sip of it. Honestly, he hates doing all of this dirty work. Sure, he's the boss. But he despises complicated things. He should've known not to trust Joe about anything, yet when he begged on his knees with a gun knocked against his head as he spat out a bunch of threats to the weakened man, he thought why not? If Joe didn't get to fulfill his demands, he gets to kill him either way. It's always a pleasure for him to do so.

"Mr. Styles! Ay, i'm so happy to see you. You look a lot cleaner than i saw you the last time, eh?" Joe's voice causes Harry's green eyes averts from the scene on the crowd. His eyebrows are knitted, jaw tightened as he taps his fingers against the table, causing the rings he's wearing to knock.

He owes him money worth $50,000. And this man had the nerve to walk in and act like nothing happened.

He is definitely going to kill him.

"Stop with all that shit and sit the fuck down. You owe me something Joe." Harry warns, pointing at him as Harry's men forces the dark haired male to sit down making him gulp. "You owe me 50 grand for that package you piece of shit."

Joe couldn't feel more terrified as he catches a glimpse of Harry's gun on the table, facing towards him. "I know Harry, I know. I didn't forget, okay? It's just the money is tight right now. The girls aren't getting the amount of money they used to be getting." Joe tries to reason but Harry isn't having any of it,

"Stop being a fucking pussy and blame your girls for the money you've lost. I'm running out of patience here, Joe. If you don't give me the money by the end of the week, you're a dead man. I still have one body bag left in my car and I wouldn't mind writing your name on it." Harry grits his teeth, looking at him with a dark look in his eyes. Hand gripping tightly around the glass

"No man, I need more than that. Please, I'll do whatever you ask me to. You will have your money man I promised." Joe begs, looking at Harry with hopeful eyes.

Harry finds it quite disgusting to see someone like him beg for mercy-- for the second time--or anything at all to be honest. He find that gesture is weak and vulnerable which makes him very easy to manipulate over. "I don't give out second chances."

Joe hears a gun clicks behind, he doesn't need to know what's going on. He knows one of the two men behind him is ready to blow his brains out. "Harry man. . . One more. . . Give me one more"

Harry isn't a patient man. He doesn't want people beg. He doesn't want him to beg. But he finds it interesting to see how it goes, playing along this little game of his.

"Fine. you give me your best girl and i'll give you two months." Harry offers, cocking his eyebrow as he leans back to relax himself. "No more than that."

Joe's eyes widen at Harry's demand. It's impossible to collect a 50 grand in two months, especially when he's short on it. He needs more than that. Still, he thinks two months is better than nothing. "Okay. . . Agreed. Just tell me which girl you want or-or i could bring one or two here, man. Take your pick."

Harry can only hum in response, scanning his eyes over the scene. Dozens of girls dancing on stage, few of them even has their bras taken off. It seems to him, none of these girls on the room is his type.

Until his green eyes fall on a certain slightly curvy woman with her leg wrapped around the pole.

Her long dark hair brushing lightly against the floor as she bend her back a bit. He observes the way her body move so dirty yet gracefully around the pole,  the way she bites onto her pink glossed lips and how her brown eyes manage to flirt with the crowd and had them lure into her eyes including himself. He swears this girl just steps out of his daydreams. She looks perfect.

He admires how she circle her hips painfully slow, jealous how he isn't close enough to watch her plump flesh near his strong figure.

"Her. I want her" Harry points at the girl he can't take his eyes off. His voice sounds too possessive but he doesn't care if he does. He's too enhanced with the way she moves on that stage and he loves how she swats those dirty hands who seems desperate to cope a feel with a dirty look on her face.

'Seems like a fighter' he thinks to himself

"Y/N? You want her?" Joe asks after he realises who Harry's pointing at.

"Y/N? That's a gorgeous name. She's not taken is she? Not that i care anyway. She's a dime from what i can see here." He says, not tearing his eyes off of her while he sips on his drink. "You're gonna give me her to me aren't you?" Harry asks, his eyes are threatening enough for Joe so he nods his head as a response.

"Yes. Of course. If that's what you want."

"Fuck yes i do. Bring me to one of your rooms. I want a private from her" He demands before gulping down his drink, standing up to head over to the back. Not before glancing at the gorgeous woman one last time who stuffs a few dollar bills in her panties.

*

*

After what it feels like forever dancing on stage and have men whistling at her to go over and give them more, she finally sit herself down on a chair in her dressing room and take a deep breath. Moaning in relief as she pulls her heels off while setting her timer on because she only has thirty minutes to rest before going back out there again. She leans back against the chair, sighing in a pure bliss.

She can hear a few girls talking and laughing while preparing themselves for their performance tonight, wishing she could just join in because Violet informs her earlier there's some juicy gossip she needs to talk about but she cant take it. She's too tired.

She has only closes her eyes for 10 minutes until a familiar voice speaks out,

"Where's Y/N?"

She groans internally. Can never mistake that voice soon as she hears it. Her manager, who sounds like he's panting, voice firm as if is an emergency to call her out like that. Y/N still has her eyes shut as she raises her hand up, not having the energy to respond.

"Okay, good. Y/N. You don't need to go back out there again. There's a special guest I need you to entertain. He's already waiting in the red room."

She nods and hum, only to realize what he means as her eyes bugs out.

Wait, what?

She's quick to turn around, brows furrows and mouth hangs open, not believing what she has just heard. "Pardon?"

"There's a man. A guy who I work with, waiting in one of the rooms. He specifically asked for you. I need you to at least give him an hour." Joe notifies, running his hand over his face as if he's stressed about something,

"You want me to give a lap dance to your co-worker?" She raises her eyebrow, not believing what he just asked her

Joe sighs angrily, "it's technically not--Y/N... please. No more questions, just go over there."

"Who's the guy?" she ignores his orders as she stands, crossing her arms across her chest. "Jesus, fuck. I really need my hair to breath" she mutters, brushing down her long dark brown hair,

"Harry Styles."

Y/N freezes in an instant. Looking up to stare at Joe in the eye to see if he's joking, he can only nod his head to confirm her questioning look. " you're shitting me."

"I'm not," Joe replies, walking over to her, not wanting the other girls to hear. "Y/N, I owe him money. I haven't got them yet and--"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes and continue messing with her hair a bit more. "Not my problem."

He reaches out to grab her elbow, pulling her harshly causing her to stumble a bit. "Y/N, please... He wanted to kill me out there earlier. The guy brought a gun for God's sake. He gave me a month but until then... he wants you."

"You know i'm not a hooker" Y/N defeatedly sighs. She wants to help him, she does but it sounds like he's selling her off for a month to this notorious and dangerous guy who is named to be the deadliest man alive by the people of New York.

She loves money but no fucking way she's willing to die for it.

"I didn't say you were" He roughly says, hand gripping tightly on her arm. "Just... do it" He let her go, tired of the waiting because he doesn't want to make Harry pissed off now,

The girl sighs angrily, squeezing her eyes shut as she hesitates for a while. What the fuck did she get herself into?

"Fine. just give me a moment."

Giving her a smile, Joe thanks her by giving her a kiss on the cheek, telling her the door number Harry is in before walking out of the room. Soon after he walks out, she feels sick in her stomach. How could she ever go face to face with a man with blood in his hands? She's about to give this man a lap dance. Who knew he might've ask for more?

So now, as she finishes re-applying a layer of red lipstick, she heads out. Walking to the back of the room in a slow pace. Heart beating loud and fast as she's about to come face to face with this man. Still, she needs to play it cool. God really fucking hates her,

If he really does exists.

She takes a deep breath before opening the brown door carefully, pushing it open. Her knees almost buckle at the sight of Harry Styles, lounging on the leather couch. A cigarette squeeze between his fingers. legs spread open as if it's an invitation already made for her. His head turns towards the door, a smirk graces upon his face.

She's not going to lie. He is indeed dashingly handsome. With his arms resting on the back of the couch making his biceps look a bit bigger. He's got killer looks too. she studies. Sexy smile, and stubble which creates a sexier look on his face. She catches a glimpse of a silver cross necklace resting against his broad chest. His eyes are sharp. Looking at her up and down with his bottom lip bitten between his teeth.

"My, my" he lowly whistles, watching her every move as she enters the room. Locking the door behind her. "I wasn't wrong. You are a fucking dime."

Y/N giggles-- though feeling scared shitless-- and run her hands over her hair as she struts her way towards his figure. Purposely swaying her ass side to side a bit to tease him. "Mr.Harry Styles. . . I heard a lot about you. Word on the street is that you're a man that likes to carry a danger" she smirks seductively as she stands in between his open legs, dragging her finger slowly down her chest.

Her angelic voice is like music to his ears,

"Yeah?" he smirks, eyes falling to the curve of her breasts. "Hope that doesn't scare you, doll. All i want is a dance from you, that's all. I also heard that you are their favourite girl. After seeing you danced on that stage, I now know why."

Again, she giggles. A small blush creeping on her cheeks, hopefully he doesn't see it. "You're a flirt aren't you, Harry? You do this to every girl?"

He places his hands slowly on her plump ass, he doesn't know if he's allowed to touch but he doesn't give a shit. She seems isn't bothered by it. He wants this girl and he wants her now.

"Only to those who i find interesting, baby. Now, are you going to show me what you got?" He asks, looking up to meet her brown eyes as he squeezes her flesh.

With a devilish smirk, she slowly sets herself down on his lap which causes him to let out a soft groan. She runs her hands down to his tattooed chest and toys with his cross necklace for a bit before whispering in his ear, "sit tight and relax, Mr. Styles. I'll be your good girl for tonight"

next chapter

*

i really don’t want to write a super long chapter, because i’m afraid it’ll bore you guys so maybe--i hope-- this is enough. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this first chapter, let me know if you guys hate it or love it! I’ll appreciate it. love you guys!

[stargaze-issei]

ᴅᴀʏ 𝟼; ғᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ʙʟᴏᴄᴋᴇʀ

-> tsukishima kei.

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; same tattoo, shared dreams, soulmates!au.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; none.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 1.8k

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; fluff.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; the way i want to make a series out of everything in this challenge sigh.

↳ main masterlist

"what does it mean, tsukki?" yamaguchi asked by his side, looking with curiosity the needle leaving marks on his friend's skin. 

tsukishima wanted to get a tattoo through his complete adolescence, his parents never allowed it, not until he could pay it by himself, at least. and there he was, eighteen years old, watching in amazement how one of his few dreams became true. being honest, he wasn't sure what it meant, but he had dreamed about those numbers a lot. since he was thirteen, the same number appeared not only in his dreams, but was everywhere else too, everytime he checked the hour, the number of his locker, even his volleyball shirt. of course it took him a while to figure it out, but once he saw it, he couldn't stop. it became his luck number. 

"are you sure you just want that?" the artist wondered for the third time.

"yeah, it's important to me" the smile on tsukishima's face was completely different to all the others yamaguchi had seen since they knew each other. 

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

"please, come see me play, you're always busy!" your friend, koganegawa, could be a pain in the ass if he wanted to. he could be one withouth wanting too. your job as an assistant teacher kept you occupied half of the day, add the hours at college and how much you had to study, to say it was hard to make room in your life was an understatement. which was why you never went to kogane's games after highschool.

"i told you i can't! i have... work" 

"you don't work at nights, idiot! come see me play" he was so annoyingly persistent, that you had to accept, earning a excited hug from him.

after he left your appartment, only because you made him, you let yourself drop onto the couch, sighing. in fact, you were tired, but going to see kogane, one of your only friends, was something you could do. he was always so supportive, in his own unique way, it was the least you could do for him. you scratched your collarbone, unconciously going over your tattoo with your fingers, like checking if it was still there. somehow, that piece of inked skin gave you strengths when you felt like you were at your limit. the memory of a well known dream came to your mind, making you giggle.

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

you knew koganegawa's team was a professional team, but you never expected them to have a cheering squad, and local tv cameras and periodists focusing on them. it was your first time at the gym where they were playing, a little anxiety growing in your chest not knowing where to go. you tried calling him to help you, but all you got was a text saying he had sent somebody to your rescue. 

"hi, are you kogane-kun's friend?" said a short blonde girl, touching your shoulder. she seemed really kind, making you feel more comfortable instantly.

you mumbled a positive respond, and she quickly grabbed your hand to take you to the bleachers like she knew the place by hand. she introduced herself as yachi hitoka, and said the game was about to start. she was also a friend of one of the players, but met some others, like koga, in highschool. 

in the exact moment that you and yachi sat, the starting whistle blowed, starting with the power serve of a bleached haired guy.

yachi guide you through the game, explaining the basics to you, but you couldn't take your eyes off of the blond man with glasses, he looked so familiar, though you were sure it was the first time you saw him. he intrigued you, a lot. you were too shy to ask yachi for his name, hoping to catch it on through the speakers at some point, or trying to remember if kogane had said something about him. the game went on, points were made by everyone, and every single one the setter did, he looked at you, searching for a reassurance smile. 

when it finished, a crushing victory from the frogs, you and your new friend went to wait for them outside of the compound, yachi felt the need to warn you before you met everyone. 

"see, kyoutani can be a little... intense, some times, but he's really nice, and tsuk-"

"y/n! did you see me!? did you see my points!? we were so great!" she was interrupted by an overly excited koganegawa walking towards you, along with two ther blondes. your cheeks burned at the sight of whom you had glared so hard just minutes ago, wondering if he had noticed. his face was buried on his phone, too busy to look up, disappointing you a little.

"i saw you, dumbface, that's what i came to do" he pouted at your fake insult, proceeding to shout to kyoutani by his side how awesome you were for going to his game. you introduced yourself, one of they boys said to be kyoutani kentaro, the one of your interest didnt't even reply.

tsukishima had heard your voice many times before, but for the first time, he was awake. his eyes opened wide, a soft hum of confusion left his mout. it couldn't be you, you were just a made up person from his dreams, someone who he had never seen, less say heard talking, to recognize that fast. although it was you. those eyes, that voice, that hair, it was you. he had dreamed about you for so long, in his mind, at the beginning you were his same age, growing up as he did. you were exactly like that woman.

"...tsukki!" he came back to earth thanks to kogane, who was frenetically moving him from his shoulders trying to get his attention. 

"get off" was all tsukishima answered.

"where's yamaguchi?" asked yachi. you didn't know what they were talking about, but you had witnessed the glasses boy, whom's name appears to be tsukki, go through a complete life crisis in the last minute.

"he's joining us at the restaurant" he said, starting to walk away by his own, followed by kyoutani and yachi, later by kogane pulling you from your arm to walk. 

yachi and koga talked enough to fill the uncomfortable aire in the table once everybody ordered. a man named yamaguchi arrived a few minutes earlier, still in office clothes. he congratulated the guys on their victory and greeted you nicely, presenting himself as "tsukki's friend". 

the minutes became hours, everyone, except you and tsukki, was drunk, even kyoutani had that red color on his cheeks because of the alcohol. yachi, who had stated that she was just a little tipsy, sober up when she saw how late it was. 

"i have to work tomorrow! we all have to! oh go, i can't believe i let kogane- tsukishima, could you please take y/n home while i get these three an uber?" despite being so small, the girl seemed to be completely in charge of everything, probably because of her years as manager in highschool, you thought.

"are you sure you don't need help with them?" you asked, a bit curious about how was she going to handle two giants and a man with rabies by herself.

"don't worry, i've been doing this since highschool, i'm more worried about you arriving safe"

"i'll take her, you stay at yamaguchi's and text me when you're there" intervined tsukishima, he had been quiet most of the night, even though he couldn't look less interested in being there, he still refused to leave. sometimes, he would stare at you when you weren't paying attention, without knowing that you actually felt his look on you. the girl agreed to his proposal, kissing your cheek goodbye and giving her friend a small hug before you took your things and got out of the place, followed by the tall man. 

the walk was silence after you told him you lived near enough to walk, him just nodding to your words. you didn't feel uncomfortable, though, and you wanted to believe neither did he. both of you were at a really short distance, and he didn't seem to care, but you smell of strawberry shortcake coming out of him. you giggled, thinking how funny it was that such an intimidating guy smelled like cake. tsukishima glared at you, disconcerted by your sudden laugh at no apparent reason.

"i used to go to this coffee house in highschool, they had the best strawberry cake i have ever eaten" your random fact caught tsukishima off guard, because he went to a coffee house with a really good strawberry cake since highschool too. he stayed silence, affraid to keep finding more shared details betweent the two of you. "i mean, don't think i talk about cake when- you smell like- i'm sorry" had you just made the situation hundred times worse? yes, you had. 

the rest of the walk was as silent as the first half, now, tsukishima was uncomfortable, so much that you could tell, but still, he choose to stay close to you instead of making distance. despite being a autumn night, you felt hot, your multiples layers of clothing were now making you sweat. without giving it much thought, you took off your jacket and sweater, leaving at sight you tattoo in you collarbone. tsukki tried, he really did, to not look at you, stripping like it was nothing, so when he did, and saw his exact same tattoo in your body, he stopped walking. his jaw barely hit the floor, you could swear he saw a ghost.

"are you okay? d-do you...? what are you doing?" he got over his shocked, and in a light of boldness, he started to take off his coat and sweater, not only that, but lifting his shirt until you could see his nipple and ribs. it was then when you saw it too, your tatto, the exact same details, were on his skin, like it was printed of the same printer. you hadn't chose a design from an artist, you drew one on your own, wanting to be the only of its kind, yet, there you were.

like someone had opened a door in your mind, memories of lost dreams came back, you remembered from where tsukishima seemed so familiar. that damned dream you had for years, of him, who you thought was a creation from your subconscious, was now standing right in front of you, in flesh and bones. not you nor tsukishima knew how to react, maybe, fearing that the other would run away. a strange urge to cry invaded you, and for some reason, a intense desire to feel the blonde closer.

"i want to take you on a date, if that's okay with you" 

"yes" you said not a second late, almost begging him to be with you from that day to your last.

"and i wanna kiss you right now" he didn't even let you answered before jumping to your lips, leaning a bit. you sighed in the middle of the kiss, relieved to feel him and his warm arms around you, your lips moving at synch.

his lips tasted like strawberry too.

⌙ 𝟐𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 🥳

[birlcholtz]

Okay, I'll bite. How and why did you learn to code?

HI LIN thanks for biting this is a story that tells you quite a lot about me as a person

so some background: my parents are both in compsci. they're the late 80s, early 90s silicon valley crowd, they've both had their fair share of established companies and startup-hopping, and my brother and i grew up here

my brother is about 5 years older than me and took to coding like a fish to water (like a duck to water??) which is to say he started programming on scratch at the tender age of.... i don't even know, honestly, maybe 9? too young for me to really remember, and he's been a compsci prodigy ever since

but then. then there was me.

now i do love scratch. when i was little i always copied my brother (not in like a cute way, in a 'if he can do that i can do it too' mindset that meant my third grade teacher REALLY struggled to find book recommendations for me that i hadn't already read. since my brother was above his grade's reading level, and i would read whatever my brother read. yeah that's the kind of kid i was/am)

so naturally i did what he did. i programmed on scratch, i did advanced math courses, i was in CHESS CLUB (i am so bad at chess by the way. i am not good at it. let's establish that. i think i beat my dad once and i genuinely don't know if he let me win or not. i never beat my brother so in that respect i failed. but i'm better than my mom so there's that)

HOWEVER. around fourth or fifth grade i was like hey. maybe i want to like... forge my own identity. and not just turn my life into 'do whatever elder brother does BUT BETTER.'

and thus began my campaign to NEVER DO ANY CODING EVER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND WHILE I'M AT IT FUCK MATH

this gets long so there’s more under the cut sjflsghf

there are two problems with this. the first problem is my inherent pride and the fact that, despite my best efforts, i am actually decent at math and too proud to intentionally fuck it up. so i wound up in honors math. that made part 2 of my independence campaign a little difficult.

the second problem is that my parents were just as determined for me to learn to code as i was to avoid anything to do with coding for the rest of my life

(the third problem was actually a serious problem for this goal. and that was that in seventh grade, when i had a required compsci class where we learned basic, i found myself... enjoying it. HORROR OF HORRORS.)

so i was quite vocal about my anti-math stance and my determination to explore other avenues of life, to which my parents responded by listening with bat-ears whenever i talked about my compsci class and/or my love of spreadsheets so that they could jump on it and say 'YOU KNOW, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING IS JUST LIKE THAT, I THINK YOU WOULD REALLY ENJOY IT' whenever i said something remotely applicable

and to which i responded, of course, by plunging ever deeper into performing arts because fuck compsci, except when it's basic, because then i understand everything because of messing around w scratch when i was little and it's easy and i'm ahead of the rest of the class and can stare into space while the rest of them struggle with closing their parentheses (which is not to say i never messed up my parentheses. i totally did)

now, my brother, because he's a nerd, went to compsci summer camps where you'd spend a week or two learning some program or language. he did things like java and c++ and then would come home and use this knowledge for robotics club. like i said. nerd.

but my parents sensed a golden opportunity. namely, 'if we can get birl to go to these camps, she will actually learn programming things (not just being ahead of the class and spacing out in basic), and we'll probably get her to agree since it's only a week and she can do cost benefit analysis'

and, because i CAN do cost benefit analysis, i agreed to that deal. i'd go to a few of these camps, and then we'd agree that i was done with my parentally mandated computer science requirement. i learned some 3-d modeling, i learned to use unity (which involved some c+ as well), and i learned some java, and all was well. the camps were like 5 days long. we mostly worked on self-directed projects so i could do whatever the hell i wanted (and i made some pretty cool maze games if i do say so myself-- one of them in unity and one of them as a text-based game in java)

and.... horror of horrors....... i didn't hate it.

(of course i didn't want to go BACK any more than i had to but i also didn't hate every moment of those weeks)

so we were out of the woods right?

except no. we weren't.

because here's the thing. my high school ALSO had a computer science requirement. we had to take at least a semester. there were 3 levels offered: AP compsci, normal compsci, and then easy compsci (not its actual name) for the people who did not give a single shit

obviously i wanted to take the last one. my parents really wanted me to take AP but were willing to settle for normal. you will notice there was no overlap

i wrangled my way out of taking AP because that was a year-long course and i didn't have space in my schedule (my parents are wonderful in the sense that they didn't want to infringe on my actual interests to force me to do compsci which meant i had LEVERAGE)

but we literally wound up discussing it with the dean of students who was like 'well if you're capable of AP and just not taking it for schedule reasons then easy compsci would probably be boring for you!' which was an unhelpful take, thanks EVAN

but i did get my way by virtue of volunteering with a progressive tech organization in lieu of taking regular compsci, so i took easy compsci (in which i used scratch again, yay nostalgia, and also briefly flirted with html) and also wound up learning to use squarespace which is criminally easy but you can make it look like you're an expert

and all this while i was getting better and better with spreadsheets due to my own individual love for spreadsheets that near as i can tell, nobody in my family shares (my dad does have a lot of spreadsheets but his aren't as detailed as mine and he doesn't include data validation so HA)

all of which (plus my ap calc and stats classes) combines to mean that while i would not be able to just sit down and write you some code, if you give me access to stack overflow and tell me what language it's supposed to be in i can probably figure it out. especially now that i've become familiar with python by accident (well, more by my desire to write fic)

and because now i'm stuck in a rut, my current internship is with another civic tech company and that's probably what i'll wind up doing next summer as well. i don't actually work on software but i do comms which means i need to be able to have conversations with the engineers so i've been learning on the job. i know so much help

SO. with regards to my fic, my parents would both be thrilled because i taught myself some of a new programming language (python) and disappointed because i taught myself some of a new programming language with just stack overflow and some time and all i'm using it for is fic.

but near as i can tell we finished that battle long ago. it was a resounding victory for birl and i continue to expand my technical talents into areas like photo/video editing and CRM tools.

thank you very much *bows*

[shiro-0197]

Omigosh thank you 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Albie— Albie just has my heart, his paws are just so cute I'm sobbing.

oh that's okay love!! Hmm, yeah I guess you could call it winter break, although there's no winter :P we just call it the end-of-the-year break, and we start again on the 20th of January.

Ikr. Dodol is such an odd name. tbh, most of the food names here are slightly strange, but they taste absolutely delicious :D so that's good haha. I'd love to try them with you too. There's 14 states and each has their own special delicacies.

Oh God I agree. The paperwork is TEDIOUS. So you know I work, right? Well, my job is basically to just do the doctor's paperwork at a clinic 😭🤚 things would be so much easier if it were computerized, but alas, it isn't. Who knows? Maybe if you become one, you could hire an assistant to do it for you :P 😭😔 God you're so sweet. No I'd not get hurt around you, at least I'd try my best not to. Why waste a second being injured when I could instead use it to do exciting things with you? :D

thank you!! Have you ever thought of doing something like that too? I'm not very good with young kids (I actually don't really even get along with them so much because they're quite a nuisance) but from experience, the older ones are okay, especially if they're all quiet and polite 😝💖

😭I'm glad they're enough. For now. BUT SOMEDAY I really will hug you !! and someone will probably have to tear me away because I don't think I'll let go 😼

a... dried?? Blobfish?? 😭 Interesting. I don't even wanna know where he got it either omg.

yes. So so so gorgeous 😭💖 I saw an ash lynx one a while ago on Instagram but then it disappeared (I'll find it again I hope) and it was the most beautiful art breeder I've EVER seen.

you're not uneducated hush >:(( you're such a smart person, I really really look up to you grrr. and yeah they're actually different. People acknowledge that fairy tails are fiction, wherelse myths were believed to be true, or at least have a ring of truth to them. :(

I wish you were here too. AND NOOOO KURO WAIT NOOOOOOOO. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HUG HIM IF HE HAS NO LIMBS 😭😭😭

Cashews are delicious!! I don't like all nuts, but some are great. Like peanuts and walnuts. Though I have braces, so I haven't eaten them in a long time, since they hurt my mouth. I'll take them out by march, I hope, and then you bet I'm just gonna eat all of those xD I've tried Baklava!! A friend went to Turkey once, and she brought some back. It's delicious, I hope I'll try it again in the future. tho omg yes!! You're so lucky, the snacks must be to-die-for there😚😚💖💖💖💖 what other types can you get?

CHISHIYA IS ACTUALLY A CATBOY ‼️‼️ THOSE PICTURES JUST CONFIRMED IT.

I hope you enjoy your rewatch!! Coincidentally, I'm rewatching a favourite of mine too. It's called She-Ra and it's on netflix. And here's a few frames of the show I want to share with you 😿💖

I MEAN. First of all; (they're not even canon) BUT THEY'RE SO PRETTY TOGETHER. Secondly, one of them's a catgirl?? And her suit is so pretty?? And thirdly... THE DIP?? I'm dying sorry 😭😭💖

—☃️☃️ (us ü)

Yes yes !!! He's so extremely adorable and I'm kqkkkdkakkd

Оhh, I see !! That's a lot, we're going back to class at tenth, or earlier maybe. I'm glad you guys have a long break!!! You deserve it:D

Оhh, 14!! We also have 14 states (uh, provinces?) Though I dont think every one has a separate delicacy. That's so cool, though!! The more food there is, the better xD

Ackk, I know right. I did paperwork, like, once in my life and it was so exhausting?? I feel bad for you😭 I'd rather become a freelancer 😝

Fair enough! I'd do my best to have you up and straight, so you wouldn't get injured even if you wanted to (though I dont think you would)😋

Well, I've been thinking about helping kids my age with languages. But, well, I'm so bad at teaching. I'm that kind of person to go "how do you not understand this" after two times of explaining. So I try not to do that, because I dont want the teens to think I'm uncool XD

Hehe no one will have to tear you away because I'd love to hug you just as long😭😭😭💕

Aahhh!! I really hope you come across it again!! It sucks to see something gorgeous only to never encounter it again😭

Awhh, that's so sweet of you!!! 🥺🥺 I also look up to you!! You're so hardworking and responsible, couldn't be me😭 but yeah, I really get confused sometimes, people say they're the same and I'm like ????

BWNSJQJD dont worry he's all bark one bite😭😭 he'll hit me but that's all he can do, really

Yeah!!! I adore walnuts, they're my favorite. Peanuts get stuck in my teeth a lot, I still love them though💔 March is in... three months? Huhh that's a while😭 I wouldn't survive for so long without them

Hell yeah, another thing I need to make you in the future!!!! I've also tried turkish delight, the orange and the strawberry ones are my favorite. I dont like the peanut ones tho, they're too sweet😭 we also tried maklube (mac-looh-beh), and it's to die for. Tastes even better when we make it with teh whole class XD our school also has special "keklube" and "tavuklube" versions, which are totally made up names, but basically they're just cake and chicken versions of maklube

I'm forty seconds away from writing an article about why Chishiya is not so secretly a catboy XD

Aaaa I forgot about She-ra qkekkqkd!!! I wanted to watch it as well but then I got into my anime phase 😭😭 they look so good though omg😍😍 I really hope watch it soon~ I hope you're enjoying it!!!

[luv4fandoms]

No killing tonight-Hamish x Reader

So recently I finished watching the first season of The Order (if you haven't seen it, go watch it!) And I adore Hamish so much, so even though I usually don't take requests, there is a lack of Hamish fics and I needed to help change that. So Nonny request this. I hope you all enjoy it! 😊

Pairings: Hamish Duke x Reader

Warnings: Killing?

Word Count: 1,384

You had met Hamish on your first day of college, something you hadn't been expecting. You had gone to Belgrave to better your education, to better your future...and instead you bump into someone while looking down at a paper to find your class, drop your books, and when they are quickly picked up and handed to you...Met with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes you had ever seen.

"Are you alright?" His deep voice made your pulse quicken, and it took you a moment to find your tongue.

"Y-yes, sorry I wasn't watching where I was going, are you alright?" You asked, causing him to smile and nod.

"No harm done...I haven't seen you before" He stated, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Yeah, I just enrolled"

"You seem a little old for a student...not that there is a certain age for college" He quickly backtracked.

"No it's ok" you laughed, before adding.

"Typical stupid teen, dropped out young, recently decided to get her act together and get a GED and go to college"

"Never too late" he smiled

"I'm Hamish, Hamish Duke" he extended his hand

"(F/n) (L/n)" you replied while taking his hand in yours

"Very nice to meet you Miss (L/n)" he smiled.

You hadn't expected your relationship to blossom as it did, you were just a student, and come to find out, he was a professor. A relationship that probably shouldn't have happened,quickly did, you both were the same age and had so many things in common...except one. Out of everything, the one thing you hadn't expected was Hamish's secret. When he first told you, you simply laughed it off...But when you realized that he was serious you told him you wanted proof...so he gave you it.

That was almost two years ago. You had quickly accepted Tundra, finding him just as protective as Hamish when you insisted on going out on patrols with them. Sure you were human, but you could fight, and often used yourself as a distraction. That being said, there was something about the wolf lifestyle you didn't agree with.

"Please don't kill anyone tonight" you stated while strapping on your backpack, the pack had just heard the sign of bad magic being used and were about to head out.

"No promises" Lillith replied, already stripping out of her clothes. Your eyes went to Hamish who was already removing his shirt.

"It's murder" you told him.

"Indifference to life" he replied, before sighing.

"No promises" and with that they were all out the door. Sighing, you left as well. It didn't take long for you all to find the source of the bad magic, nor did it take long for the bloodshed to start...It was true that the order was powerful and could hurt the pack, but that didn't stop the sight of a throat being ripped out, or a heart being eaten any less upsetting, and watching it happen made thoughts you had tried to keep at bay, come to the front of your mind once more. Hamish...Tundra looked back at you, blood dripping from his snout as he took in your shaking form...why were you shaking? You had seen this before, but tonight, your wide eyes held horror, for the first time in two years you looked at him in absolute terror. He dropped the body, his claws making more slashes as the body slid along them, and he turned fully towards you. He watched your eyes dart to the body before they met his once more...and then you took a step back. He paused for only a moment before stepping towards you, and with every step, you backed further away...before turning and running off into the night. Hamish stood there in shock, his heart breaking at the memory of your face, the way you looked at him like he was...A monster.

A sorrowful howl split the night just as you reached your car back at the pack's house, and although it broke your heart, you left. That all happened a week ago and since then you had been doing everything to avoid Hamish, you still loved him, but that love only made those thoughts louder. Luckily you weren't in Hamish's class, nor did you share any with him. You could easily get away from Lillith, Jack never tried to invade your space, but Randall was a little harder, being your RA and all.

"Talk to him, please (y/n)! I've never seen Hamish like this before" those words ran through your head on repeat, but so did the thoughts and memories of that night. The bell for the end of the day finally rang and you hurried to gather your things and leave, the sooner you were away from the pack the better...But luck seemed to not be on your side today as you felt a hand roughly grab your arm and drag you into an empty classroom. You already knew who it was, but it didn't stop your heart from quickening when you came face to face with Hamish. This would be so much easier if you weren't still hopelessly in love with him.

"You've been avoiding me" he spoke, his tone a mixture of resignation and pleading.

"Have I?" You tried to play dumb, he looked like he hadn't slept much in the past week, and that thought alone was like a knife through your heart.

"Just" he stopped, taking a breath before adding

"Just tell me what I did, please"

"You didn't d-" you started but he interrupted

"Don't lie to me!" You jumped at his outburst, and his eyes met your wide ones, his face falling as he looked at you.

"That's the same way you looked at me that night...are you that afraid of me?"

"No, I'm not afraid of you" you told him, but he simply laughed and shook his head, backing away from you. You took a moment before continuing your thoughts, he deserved to know.

"I'm afraid of him" he stopped and slowly turned to you.

"Tundra? Why?"

"Everytime you go into your, your, wolf mode and kill I feel like...like one day you're going to stop being...you" you explained, tears pricking your eyes while you voiced your fears, it was something you had thought of every time you saw him kill someone, you were afraid for his humanity.

"You already act like you don't value life, murder is just indifference to human life as you put it. What if one day you see…" you stopped, shaking your head as tears run down your cheeks, the lump in your throat made you swallow.

"What if one day I see what love?" He asked, his hands gently holding your arms.

"What if...what if one day you see my life as worthless? What if one day Tundra gets tired of me and just sees me as worthless? Do you have that much control over him? What if one day we have a child and-" he cut you off by pulling you ointo his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you as you cried and gripped his shirt.

"I would never hurt you" he spoke into your hair.

"Could never hurt you, don't you see that?" He asked as he pulled you away and made you look at him.

"(Y/n)...you're my mate"

"That's an actual thing?" You slightly giggled, wiping your tears.

"I'm a werewolf and you're shocked by us having mates?"

"I guess I'm more shocked about me being yours" you shrugged.

"Why is that so shocking?"

"I don't know, you're you and I'm"

"Amazing, smart, beautiful, wonderful, fierce, strong" he named off causing you to laugh.

"I love you (y/n) and I, nor Tundra would ever hurt you, we will protect you with our life" he said while leaning down, bringing his lips gently to yours, and when he pulled away he added.

"But I'll make sure I don't kill anymore"

"Just not in front of me ok?"

"Just not in front of you" he laughed while grabbing your hand and leading you out of the classroom.

"So...you think about us having kids?" He smiled.

"Shush" you smiled back.

[atinyidea]

The Ache Of A Broken Heart | Ateez Song Mingi

⟶ requested by @un-kpop-ular! thank you for the request lovely!

⟶ highschool!au, bestfriends!au, female!reader, named!reader, hanahaki!au

⟶ angst prompt: “it hurts”

⟶ 3133 words!

edit: hi so it's been a couple years and I've realised how genuinely arophobic this kind of au is and I just want to say that while I'm not deleting it (it was a request) I'm not supporting it and will not write anything like a hanahaki au again. Please do some research if you're confused and I apologize to those who mightve felt hurt reading this oneshot.

"I don't understand why you haven't just told him?"

"Well it's not like me telling him will make anything stop. And there's the potential that I'll lose him completely if I tell him. It's not that simple."

"It can be! You tell Mingi you love him and then he can accept that love you back and you stop coughing up fucking flower petals."

"San!" She whined, lifting her head from its resting place on the toilet seat. "I can't force him to love me back! Besides he already has a girlfriend. I'll get over it sooner or later."

"Is later is when you die choking up a whole bunch of flowers?"

"I'm not going to die!"

"You threw up a whole flower just three minutes ago! You're getting worse! I know you." San paused, gently petting her head. "I know how much you let yourself fall into your feelings. You're sensitive, Jiyeon, you always have been. It's not going away."

"I'll make it go away." She whispered, biting her lip and avoiding his gaze. San simply huffed, pulling you into his chest and just held her for a while, rubbing circles into her back.

Choi Jiyeon was many different things to Choi San but the main fact was that she was his cousin. His only cousin. His father was her father's brother and the two only children became as close as siblings due to the fact they shared the same house.

Jiyeon and San were the same age, born a month apart because their mothers planned it. They grew up in a big house with a big garden. They had loving, caring parents and an extremely fortunate wealth and upbringing.

They went to a public school, making plenty of their own friends but somehow they always managed to converge groups to make one big friend group. And, in that friend group just happened to be Song Mingi.

Now, Jiyeon would have to admit, Mingi was, in fact, San's friend first. However, soon after meeting Jiyeon and Mingi were quick to become best friends. Jiyeon would be lying if she didn't say that, besides San, Mingi knew her best. Mingi was the first to tell her everything, the first to include her in events and jokes. He told her everything and in turn, she'd tell him everything too.

Well, except for one small thing.

Choi Jiyeon was completely in love with Song Mingi. And he didn't love her back.

Jiyeon never used to believe in the Hanahaki Disease until the petals started making their way down her throat. She thought it was a myth grandmother would tell to wain children off of loving recklessly. Her own grandmother would tell Jiyeon stories of the girls she used to know. Of how the would give their heart to anyone who'd take it and in return were given flowers. Only when she was a little older did her grandmother tell her that the gifted flowers were actually a curse in the body. Flowers that would come from nowhere and choke one out until one found themselves throwing the petals up. Jiyeon had never taken her grandmother seriously.

Maybe she should have.

She hadn't even noticed she had begun to love Mingi when the first petal arrived. She had been asleep when it did and woke up to a petal laying on her tongue. Having gone to a house party the night before, getting quite drunk by the amount of pain her head was in, she took no notice. She had, unfortunately, woken up with worse things in her mouth before.

The first time she actually threw up a petal, she and San were having their annual weekend movie marathon. In the middle of the fourth film — Star Wars: A New Hope — Jiyeon suddenly hunched over, grabbing both her throat and her tummy. After what felt like hours to her, which in reality was only five minutes of San freaking out behind her, she finally coughed up the petals that had bloomed in her tummy. Both Choi's sat in silence when she had finished, simply staring at the white petals that were stained red. Jiyeon only realised they were stained red with blood after San had handed her a napkin to wipe her mouth and it too came away red.

"What was that?" San asked, both of them now slumped on the floor on their knees, the television in the background now being nothing more than white noise.

"I don't really know."

"How can you not know?"

"Well, it's never happened before!"

After a beat of silence, San spoke up once again, his voice only hairs above a whisper. "It's like that old story grandma used to tell us, don't you think?"

"The story about the women who would die throwing up flowers when the person they loved never loved them back?"

"Yeah."

"That was an old wives tale San! A myth! A story to teach children to be mindful of who they give their heart to."

"Well, how else do you explain what just happened to you?"

His question had her stumped. How could she explain what just happened? The feeling of something unnatural climbing up her oesophagus, catching in her throat and choking her until she coughed it out covered in blood was not something that could be explained away or turned a blind eye too. There was blood. Bloody flower petals. That came from inside of her. And it hurt. It hurt so much.

"But that tale was about someone who loved another who couldn't love them back. I'm not in love with anyone, San." She avoided his gaze. "It's probably something I ate that didn't agree with me. That's all." She dismissed.

San sighed and she heard it. He sighed because Jiyeon had never been about to lie to him — or to anyone for that matter.

"Ji..." San trailed off. "You can tell me."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Is it one of our friends?"

"Is what one of our friends?" Jiyeon feigned ignorance, still not looking up to match her cousin's gaze.

"The person you love," San whispered, manoeuvring from kneeling to sitting, shifting slightly closer to the girl.

"Who says I love anyone?" Jiyeon whispered, finally turning her head to face San.

"Because I think we both already know who you love." San smiled sadly, gently bringing the girl into his arms. He rocked them back and forth gently, trying to create an atmosphere in which Jiyeon felt safe enough to speak her truths.

She rested her head against her cousin's collar. "Are you mad at me?"

San shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "No. Why would I be?"

"Because..." She looked up, "Mingi's your best friend."

San chuckled. "You can't even lie to yourself. Mingi's your best friend. Sure, he's my good friend but you know things about him he'd never think to tell me." His smile widened a little, lifting a hand to ruffle her hair.

Jiyeon sighed, closing her eyes. "Okay. Maybe I'm in love with Mingi."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know!"

"Jiyeon."

"It's not like it matters anyway. He won't love me back that's why I'm throwing up petals or something." Jiyeon's eyes flew back open.

"Grandma always said didn't... not wouldn't or couldn't." San reminded her gently. "There's still a chance. You just have to tell him."

Jiyeon sighed, her head thumping back into his chest. "Fine." She breathed out, her throat finally numbing. "I'll tell him next time I see him."

The conversation the two had the next time Jiyeon saw Mingi however, was not the conversation she had in mind. He had grabbed her in the middle of the hallway, minutes before the bell for the first period, his handsome face graced with the bright grin only Mingi could create. It sent a flutter of butterflies through her tummy. Before she could get a word in he had already told her his news. The smile on her face had frozen, to the point where she began to panic he's see through the fake happiness she exuded.

"Haneul said yes! She said she'd be my girlfriend!"

Panic froze Jiyeon to her spot. How could she forget about Haneul? The pretty girl Mingi had the biggest crush on. He had spent hours telling Jiyeon all about her. How kind she was. How pretty she was. The way her voice sounded when she spoke to him — "like bells... or the sound of a thousand angels humming!" — and about the way she spoke to him. He told her about how Haneul was smart, how she helped him with all the things he struggled with academically — as if the study sessions he spent with Jiyeon did nothing for him.

Jiyeon had always felt funny when he would talk about Haneul. She hadn't realised the feeling was jealousy until she stopped telling herself she didn't love him.

Haneul was perfect for him; just the right height, just the right build, just the right personality. How could Jiyeon ever be seen as more than just his best friend when someone like Haneul was interested in him?

"That's great! I'm proud of you!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. The way his grin beamed brighter tore a rip through her heart and something built up in the pit of her stomach. The bell rang a second later and the two made their separate ways for their first lessons.

Jiyeon couldn't concentrate that entire day. Not many people seemed to notice her out-of-it daze apart from San, who looked at her with silent worry as their group sat together at lunch. Haneul has joined them, sitting close to Mingi's right side, answering the questions their friends had for her with a sweet smile.

Why was there nothing wrong with her?

Jiyeon couldn't blame her though. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon had fallen in love with her best friend. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon's body had decided it would take out its heartbreak on her, breaking her down piece by piece until her insides crumbled into torn up petals.

That had been sixth months ago.

Sixth months strong were Haneul and Mingi.

Jiyeon thought that it would get better. That the ache in her chest would dissipate now that Mingi was in fact taken by one of the sweetest people Jiyeon had ever met.

“Why don’t you, you know, date someone? Get your feelings under your own control.” San has said one day during a particularly harsh day, your entire bathroom floor covered in blue petals and sickly red blood after a couple hours of coughing and spluttering. You had given him an exhausted glare.

“It wouldn’t be fair to the other person. How would I explain this? ‘Oh, sorry about the mess! My body is just displaying its heartache outwardly because I love someone, who’s not you, by the way, that doesn’t love me back.’ Yeah, that’d go down a treat.”

San rolled his eyes at her, letting go of the hair he had held out of her face. “I’m just saying. It might be a way to get over it. To get over him. To get your health back?” He pressed gently. It didn’t take much to know that San was worried. Jiyeon had lost a noticeable amount of weight, not being able to keep much of anything down — especially after being around Mingi. She had become quiet, one might say reserved, which was unlike the person she was a couple of years ago who was never without a smile or a laugh.

She felt defeated. “I don’t want anyone else to feel like this. It hurts, so much,” She swallowed. “Every time I throw up those flowers it feels like my heart is being smashed with a steel hammer. Or as if it was made out of paper and each petal was just another rip in the fragility of a water soaked piece of paper. It’s dark. It’s a disgusting feeling and I never want anyone to feel it, ever.”

San’s head cocked to the side, his eyes dropping with worry. “You’re dying, Ji,” He whispered. He took one of her hands in his. “Just try it. Please.” He begged.

Jiyeon bit her lip. It would be too arrogant to assume someone would fall in love with her so easily, wouldn’t it? She could let herself be involved with someone else, couldn’t she? She could get over the dark could that surround her heart, right? She nodded, “Alright.”

So San sent her on a date. Ironically enough, another of their friends, Jeong Yunho, had been interested in Jiyeon for a little while. When San has brought up his little conundrum — “I need someone to set Jiyeon up with but every one I can come up with are all dicks” — Yunho has jumped (literally) at the opportunity.

The date was fun. It was exciting. They had met at a restaurant, exchanging shy smiles and small hellos before ditching the restaurant — it was only San who made the reservation anyway — and spent the night just together, deciding on what to do by playing small games of rock-paper-scissors. Jiyeon found herself smiling, laughing for the first time in a long time. She had temporarily forgotten all about Mingi and the pain that would wrack her body almost every other night. They went to an arcade, playing on different games for a few hours, playing around with one another and cumulating enough tickets to get two matching teddy bears. They took a walk through a park, stopping to play on the playground apparatus and unlocking their inner children with small games like who could get the highest on the swings or who could stay upright the longest on the merry-go-round. They found themselves sitting in a booth at McDonald’s, grinning and sharing embarrassing stories about themselves and their friends — mainly San — while sharing two big boxes of chicken nuggets.

Jiyeon felt guilty when she got home, saying goodnight to Yunho and finding herself texting Mingi all about it. She felt guilty when she realised why she was so adamant for Mingi to know. She wanted him to feel jealous. And she felt horrible when he simply congratulated her and offered to go on double dates in the future, her bedroom floor covered in a smattering of red petals after she broke down in tears.

Yunho was kind. His smile was sweet and his words were sweeter. They went on multiple dates and Jiyeon could feel herself getting lighter. The petal attacks slowed down but, they still happened.

Yunho was kind but Jiyeon was scared. On their last date, he walked her home, their hands laced together as they walked under the stars in the night sky. Jiyeon had told him early on in their relationship that she was sorry they had to go slow. She hadn’t given him a solid reason for her need to go slow and he hadn’t pushed her for an answer, but she knew deep down she’d always be scared to take the next step with him, or anyone for that matter. At her door — one that was unlocked because San just knew she’d forget her keys — Yunho had taken her face in his hands and kissed her. Truth be told, she had enjoyed it. His lips were soft and he bent down enough to brush her lips before straightening up slightly, causing Jiyeon to follow him to a height her tippy toes would allow. However, when she opened her eyes the face of her unrequited lover stared back at her and her smile dropped.

Blinking away the image of Mingi’s face she was greeted with the worried eyes of Yunho. “I’m sorry if that was too fast.” He whispered, eyes dropping to the floor. A familiar feeling twanged across her body as her heart sunk, once again, in guilt.

“You have to go.” Her voice was low. She could feel the familiar sensation arise in the back of her throat and she, under no circumstances, never wanted Yunho — happy, kind, sweet, loving Yunho — too see her like that.

He stuttered and she felt worse. “I- I'm sorry. Just give me another date. I don’t want to stop seeing you.” He cupped her face again, tilting her head up so their gazes could meet.

She needed him to leave.

“You have to go.” She repeated, gently stepping out of his hold. She went to speak again but her words were caught in her throat as she coughed harshly. When she pulled her hand away from her lips, looking between Yunho and the bloody white petal in her hand, tears had already sprung to her eyes. She didn’t give him any explanation before turning on her heel, barrelling through the door to find the nearest bathroom.

She could hear him chasing after her, the sinking feeling of guilt consuming her for how much he cared for someone who was caught up with a boy who couldn’t love her back. She retched into the bowl of the toilet, multicoloured petals falling from her lips in encased in the sickening sound of blood being spat from her mouth.

Yunho was kind. He bent down next to her and held her hair from her face. He rubbed circles into her back, his soft voice falling into a quiet song. When Jiyeon had finished her attack her body wracked itself in sobs instead. She felt horrible inside and out.

“I’m so sorry.” She wailed.

He didn’t respond, stopping his soft singing.

“It hurts so much!” She sobbed, not lifting her head to face him. “I am truly sorry.”

After a while, her sobs lessened and the two sat in silence.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Yunho finally replied, tilting her head to face him again. “I’m sorry you have to go through this,” He whispered. He raised a thumb and wiped at the side of her mouth, watching as the blood there transferred from her lips to his thumb. “I’m sorry you think you’re going through it alone.”

She looked at him, concentrating. Then, her insides froze again. Her tear ducts overflowed again once she realised just what he was talking about. Her one wish had been destroyed. Someone else was feeling what it felt like to be broken. And it was her fault.

She feared she wouldn’t be able to love anyone other than Mingi. She feared that Yunho loving her would kill him inside as loving Mingi did to her.

But in the end, Choi Jiyeon loved Song Mingi, even though they were young, even though he was taken, even though he was just her best friend.

She’d die loving Song Mingi, and in the end, she did.

[fallendawn]

25's a good number. I'll flip it and give you odds, plus 52

Hoo boyyyy alright here we go :D and thanks~

1) Are looks important in an relationship?

They’re an added bonus, but no they’re not important. 

3) Are you a virgin?

Nah.

5) Are you in love?

Yah

7) Can you commit to one person?

I feel like this is a trick question since I’m poly, but yes, I can and will. I won’t be dishonest if that’s what this is asking.

9) Describe your perfect mate.

They make an effort to stay positive, tries to keep the atmosphere light and comfortable for everyone, checks in on me when I fall off the map to make sure I’m okay, laughs a lot and often, respectful.

11) Do you ever want to get married? 

If my future partner wants to, yeah. 

13) Do you get jealous easy?

No not really. 

15) Do you have any piercings?

Well, my ears were pierced, but I don’t wear any piercings nah.

17) Do you like kissing in public?

Ehhhh. A quick kiss sure.

19) …apparently doesn’t exist cool

21) Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Maybe? I don’t know, I can be pretty dense about that tbh.

23) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? 

Yes. I would never cheat.

25) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

The year is almost over lol 

I mean… it would be nice, but I’m not actively pursuing one 

27) Has someone ever written a song or a poem for you?

I’ve had people write me poems and write me stories, but no songs yet.

29) Have you ever cheated on someone?

Lord have mercy, for the third time now, no. XD

31) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Both.

33) Have you ever had sex with a man?

No, but that’s not to say that I wouldn’t. 

35) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Nope.

37) Have you ever liked someone your friends hated?

Er…I don’t think so?

39) Have you ever liked someone you couldn’t have?

Currently welp

41) Have you had sex so far this year?

yuppers

43) How long was your longest relationship?

Five years if I know how to do math.

45) How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Well gee, good thing I know the answer is one cause this is literally like five years ago I can barely remember what happened this morning let alone five years ago.

47) How old are you?

I just turned 26 yesterday. I’m no longer 25 sads D:

49) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what’s you favourite thing about them?

I am lacking in a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

51) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

There’s a few people, both genders, yeah.

52) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Do you mean trying to pursue a relationship? Yeah, because I could see they’re clearly not into it and I’m not here to force anyone. Given up loving? Nah. Once I love you, I don’t stop loving you, pretty much ever. You have to do something pretty deeply offensive for me to stop caring. and even then I still end up caring ugh

53) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Er. No? I’m not dating anyone, and even if I was, again I’m pretty dense when it comes to stuff like that.

55) Share a relationship story.

So one time I got surprised by flowers unexpectedly which is rare because I generally know when a person is going to give me something and what, but it just genuinely came out of nowhere for no other occasion but just to show love and I’m a sucker for that. 

57) Things you want to say to an ex

Er…hi? We still talk so

59) What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Ehhhh refer to my icon, except with less green hair. :p

61) What is the first thing you notice in someone?

lolol their height generally, cause I’m so short /shot

63) What is your definition of “having sex”? 

He put his thingy in my you-know-what and we did it for the first time

:D

65) What is your favourite foreplay routine?

errrrrrrr…I’m starting to think I should have asked you to do the odds so I gets the evens lolol

67) What is your idea of a perfect date?

Sitting on the porch step, holding hands staring at the sunset not getting eating alive by mosquitoes (actually fun fact I don’t normally get eaten by mosquitoes idek why they just don’t seem to like me I guess).

Up on the roof, gazing at the sky talking about everything and nothing.

Cuddled together in bed listening to the patter of rain.

Outside watching the lightning in a southern heat storm.

Walking around downtown looking at the shops, talking about all the things we can have but will one day.

Idc as long as we’re together and holding hands and comfortable and I can sneak glances at them and look at their smile and see how happy they are.

69) What is your sexual orientation?

I am very bi~

71) What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I don’t normally remember my dreams, tbh. I can’t even remember if I’ve had a wet–

orite there was this one with the guy I really like, but before it got too far in I woke up very wtf and realised I might have a problem xD

73) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Hm. I mean just little things like noticing when I’ve been quiet for a while and checking on me to see I’m fine. Or noticing that something’s bothering me and asking me what’s wrong. Or just randomly out of the blue get something for me just because you knew/remembered I like the thing.

75) What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Oh man, the list is very extensive because I honestly have the best friends a guy could ever hope for and they do sweet things for me so many times, so we’ll go with the recent one where my best friend overpayed me for a commission just to make sure I made it to the friend annual meet up.

77) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

As long as you’re not dating a minor, I really don’t have an opinion on other people’s relationships. What two (or more) consenting adults do in their private life is totally up to them.

79) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

Where’s my thinking emoji. Um…again, I don’t really get jealous so it’s hard to say/pinpoint a time. 

81) Who are five people you find attractive?

An irl friend who’s name I’m not going to say, Ricky Martin, Emma Watson, Melinda Kathleen Reese, another irl friend who’s name I’m not going to say.

83) Who was your first kiss with?

Ceri

85) Would you ever date someone off the internet?

Yeah, I mean I already have. I know how to be safe.

[shiro-0197]

Omg that sounds so cute 😭😭😭 I do that sometimes too. Mostly little faces and hearts and the beats turn out horrific 😳 I'm glad you had the time to do so, love :D

awww thank you, I feel much better about it now. You're right, taking a rest is suitable. I was just so focused on other stuff I never got around to studying, but I will definitely do so next month 😅😚

oh I see!! Good luck with those, you're gonna do so amazingly well xx 💖💖💖 hmm they're not the same. So we start our school year in January, and we have a first quarter exam in march, then another midterm in June/July, then a second quarter exam in September, and our finals somewhere in November (and then we get a break from November to December, and resume on the 2nd of January), tho we have many week-long holidays in between, like after our midterms (two weeks) and after the quarter exams (one week each). That's before quarantine. Now, due to quarantine, we didn't have our finals because school was out, so the school postponed it to January, when school reopens xD it sucks because we didn't even have lessons for most of the topics which are supposed to come out, and self studying is rubbish, honestly. But I think I'll be okay if I put in the hours <3

awww 😭😭 that's okay maybe use a pillow to muffle it. Oh how I'd love to give you a headpat rn. I love headpats, do you like them too?

RIVER PHOENIX BESTEST BOY. I love his name so much too, ahdbsksj!! I mean... LOOK AT HIM?? PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, ANGEL.

(He's not alive anymore tho... He passed away on Halloween's day 27 years ago. His story is such a sad one, actually. I have to hold back tears when u think about it)

I'm glad you liked them!! I don't share classical music recommendations with people, you're the special exception, but I'm so happy you like it. It's very soft and soothing, and river flows in you is my favourite thing to play on the piano 😣💖

KSBSKSHSKJ CUTE CUTE CUTE YOUR VIRTUAL DATE SOUNDS ADORABLE GOSH IM MELTING. 😭😭 Poor Kuro, I hope the store restocks some of that juice for him skdjsksk. It's nice that you have someone to spend time like that with. Life is so much more fun when you have someone with you to spend the boring days away. I'm so glad you have Kuro, the two of you sound so wonderful together.

ah yes!! Abigail made it. She's hoping to start a baked goods business in the future, so she practices a lot, and that's nice because whenever I go over the house smells really good. I loved seeing them all too. I nearly cried when I saw Hri (anime protagnist friend sjdjsks it's such a mouthful to type, so that's his nickname xD) because I'd missed him a lot, so I was really really happy. He sat on the floor and let me braid his hair and tie it up, since it's grown so long now!!

Really? I didn't know that but I'm so glad you think so. You make me so happy, I hope you know that.

AHHH yes I really did miss you more, bae 😭💖 didn't not think about you :) I'm glad, it's always so nice to rant with a best friend. I hope things with his family get better!! and oof 😭😭 I never knew that about phones, but it makes sense, extremes of temperature would definitely affect the battery life :( shame that it happened tho!!

I love you too, my wonderful Shiro. Thank you for existing, and always putting a smile on my face.

—miss i'll-braid-your-hair-someday-too-shiro 💖

Heheheh, yes, every time the sounds are like music composed from the cries of the sinful souls right from Hell. It's too fun to pass, though

I'm really glad, also thanks a lot!!!

Damn ... school system is so differnet everywhere. Even the school start, ours starts at first of September😭 It's usually 3 exams per term for each subject, and there are 4 terms. 2 of the exams are for the unit we had passed, and the 3rd exam is what I like to call the final exam, and its has questions of everything we had passed in the term. Or semester. idk how it's called anymore😩 I just know that they're not divided equally (one is two months, one is three, one is 3,5, the other one is 2,5 or something🤨) and it bothers me a lot. Could've done it a little more organized.... pain😞😞

Yeah, selfstudying is really hard... you just lose focus and it's difficult to understand something with all those weird words. For me, at least. With a study buddy i could at least brag that I'm ahead of them XDD I'm sure you can do it, though! Good luck<33

I like to give out headpats!! But, I guess, to have one from you would be lovely😭

Omg!!!! He looks so gorgeous??!? It's such a shame he died at such a young age:((( rest in peace, River Phoenix😖

Ohhh!! Am I, now? That's cute, I'm glad🥺 I'd love to listen to you playing it someday🥺

Hahah, I know right!! I've been thinking about how cute it sounded, tbh I wanted to draw that but really haven't been feeling up to it XD I'm also very happy to have him. It gets lonely around here :( I'm also very glad to have you! And your sweet messages. It's really a relief, knowing someone so wonderful cares about you. Makes me feel even more special, you know?

Ohh that sounds so good!! I wish her luck, I'm sure she'll succeed. That cookie looked gorgeous, bet it tasted great too😋😋 Also that's so sweet omg???? I'm glad you got to see him🥺🥺 and he let you braid his hair what a wonderful man😍🤭

You make me very happy too!!<33

You're making my heart dance rn wth😭😭💞 you're right, it's really nice to just ramble on about stuff with you♡♡ I really hope so as well, but I think it's really better to hope that they can move out. I wish I could help them fjnancially:(

Yeah phones are kinda annoying like that sometimes >:(( it sucks, but at least they do what they need to hehe

Thank you so much for everything, for everything you've told me, for everything you showed me and everything you wished me, you never fail to make my day better💕💕💞💓