#isshin: I DONT EVEN DRINK DIET COKE?????

[azumasoroshi]

oh i love the aizen lore implications of this if only for the conversation ichigo and aizen would have about it because

ichigo: you have a grandmother??

aizen: well yes i assume my mother didn't just phase into existence.

ichigo: you have a mom??????

aizen: did you assume i phased into existence?

ichigo: i mean kinda yeah. you just seem like the kind of guy to go "mwahaha i exist now this was all part of my plan and there's nothing you can do about it. time to go kill babies and kick puppies"

aizen: you overestimate my malevolence. i merely commit instrumental aggression when it serves my purposes of god killing.

ichigo: mhm and you're not committing medical malpractice right now?

aizen: kurosaki ichigo.

ichigo: aizen.

aizen: i will pay you to strike all of this footage from the security footage.

ichigo: ten million yen.

aizen: 5000 yen.

ichigo: you fucking cheapskate. ten thousand yen.

aizen: maybe if you paid me more for my labor i'd have more to offer-

the patient: wait what are you doing to that syringe

aizen: nothing. don't worry about it

ichigo: yk were better at manipulation when you had god killing powers

aizen: i still have god killing powers i'm just not USING them because you put me in a GIGAI. kurosaki ichigo.

ichigo: yeah so? i also have god killing powers and i successfully manipulated that patient into thinking i'm the sane one when i'm the one who beat them up in the first place.

the patient: oh im gonna die here

isshin: what the FUCK are you two doing. AIZEN IS THAT A DIET COKE IN MY SYRINGE

I've got this slice-of-life AiIchi AU where Aizen gets broken out of Muken by someone and ends up chilling w/ Ichigo because Ichigo is the least likely to kick Aizen's ass.

Anyways, Aizen ends up getting a job at the Kurosaki clinic and something would happen to make him say "My grandma could make better decisions than your foolishness and that crone's wasting away in Hell."