I posted 154 times in 2022
27 posts created (18%)
127 posts reblogged (82%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@hotvampireadjacent
@barrowdearest
@luxstarry
@combatbootsfemme
@just-two-blokes
I tagged 50 of my posts in 2022
#thomas barrow - 15 posts
#downton abbey - 12 posts
#vikings - 10 posts
#richard ellis - 10 posts
#ivar the boneless - 9 posts
#barris - 9 posts
#ivar - 9 posts
#vikings history channel - 9 posts
#history channel vikings - 9 posts
#ivar ragnarsson - 9 posts
Longest Tag: 92 characters
#interview link is in replies but it’s in japanese- got the translation from a discord server
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
What Are Friends For?
A/N: Here's my first post for Barris Week 2022! A little late, but it's better than never! With any luck, the next post will be up tonight and I'll be back on track XD Hope you enjoy!
Summary: Richard is woken up late in the night by a very panicked Thomas, asking for his help. Or, Thomas has lost Isis, and Richard doesn't have the heart to leave him to it.
--
The last thing Richard expected when being woken at 3:30 in the morning was to look up into the panicked eyes of Thomas Barrow, his hair flopping into his eyes and giving him a rather disheveled look. Any other time, Richard might have commented, quipped that it was a good look for him, but not as terrified as he looked in that moment. Instead, Richard sat up, and frowned as he asked him, “Thomas, what’s the matter?”
“I lost the dog,” he answered, whispering anxiously.
Richard blinked a few times. “The… dog? What dog?” he questioned.
“His Lordship’s dog.”
Richard’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean…? Thomas, you lost Isis?”
Thomas didn’t answer aside from nodding vigorously, which caused Richard to curse quietly under his breath as he got up out of bed and started trying to grab something to change into. “Alright, start at the beginning and tell me what happened?” he requested. “How did you lose her?”
He ran a hand through his hair and said, “I took her and hid her so I could find her later and bring her back, so His Lordship would keep me on, but she isn’t where I left her and I don’t know where she’s gotten off to…”
Richard nodded a little as he listened. It was… a downright terrible plan, but as distraught as Thomas was he didn’t much feel like pointing it out. “Hey, Thomas,” he said, laying a hand on the other man’s arm. “It’s alright. Just take me out to where you know you last saw her, and we’ll see what we can do. Okay?”
Thomas gave a small nod, and then went to lead Richard out of the room. They hurried down the stairs, being as silent as possible so as not to wake anyone- especially not Carson, if worse were to come to worst- until they finally made it outside. Richard followed Thomas out through the woods, well away from the house, and eventually Thomas led him up to a shed.
“The door was already open when I came,” he said. “And Isis was gone.”
Richard sighed and looked around. No prizes given to the person who realised they were in deep trouble. Or Thomas was, rather, although Richard had no intentions of leaving him to deal with it alone. In fact, he rather liked the other man’s company, and he wanted to be sure he got to stick around.
“We’ll find her, don’t worry,” he assured Thomas, who was beginning to work himself up again with worries of being sent to prison if they didn’t find her. “And don’t worry about what happens if we don’t, either. Someone would have to know that you took her in order to tell, so unless you’ve told anyone…?”
“You know,” Thomas pointed out, which earned a soft, fond chuckle from Richard who laid his hands on his shoulders, holding him there gently.
“I won’t tell,” he promised. “If I wanted you out of this house, I’d have told you good luck, and then told His Lordship first thing when I went in to dress him. Instead, I’m out here helping you look. And, if we can’t find her, I’ll make a show of being tired, and when His Lordship asks, I’ll tell him how I found you going out to look again, and decided to join you so you wouldn’t be wandering the woods alone all night. If that doesn’t make him think well of you, I’m not sure what would.”
Thomas looked at him with wide eyes, blinking a few times as he stared up at Richard in shock. “You’d do that for me?” he questioned. “Just to keep me around? Do you realise if His Lordship ever found out…?”
“I’d go down with you, yes,” Richard said. “But the truth is, Thomas… I do enjoy your company, and I like the convenience of having it here at Downton. Not that I wouldn’t try and see you elsewhere, but why bother with that if we can be in the same house, hmm?”
Thomas still looked stunned as he processed this, and Richard wished he didn’t recognise that kind of expression. He could see clearly the disbelief in Thomas’s eyes, that he didn’t expect anyone would want to help him, and he practically expressed as much when he said, “You don’t have to do this, you know. I really don’t want to drag you down with me…”
“You won’t be, and I want to do this,” Richard assured him. “This isn’t a good situation, I’ll admit it, but I think it’s salvageable. Let’s just focus on salvaging it, alright?”
Thomas nodded a little, as if trying to shake off the surprise which still clung to him. “I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for this, Richard,” he said. Richard chuckled and immediately waved the idea off.
“You haven’t got to,” he countered. “Otherwise, what are friends for?”
Thomas finally found it in him to offer a small, albeit shaky, smile. “We’re friends, then?” he asked.
Richard smiled at him with an almost conspiratorial sort of mischief in his eyes, and replied, “If that’s all you do want us to be.” Then, entirely unaware of the way Thomas’s heart stopped beating for a moment in his chest, he grinned at the wide smile that broke out across his lips, and inclined his head back toward the way they’d come from. “Better get a move on, if we want to find her.” Thomas nodded, and the two got to work, scouring the woods and roads around Downton Abbey for any sign of the Earl’s beloved Isis.
They searched well into the morning, and by the time the sun was rising in the sky, both men were more disheveled than they’d been when they left the house, hair flopping in their faces and coats thrown over their arms. It wasn’t a particularly warm morning, no, but after walking for hours on end, it was warm enough.
It was during this walk back up the drive, fruitless in their efforts, that they encountered Lord Grantham himself, walking the very dog in question. Richard thought Thomas might collapse from relief, though he himself only smiled happily, keeping his own relief tucked away. When Lord Grantham saw the pair, his eyes went wide with disbelief and he asked, “Thomas, Mr. Ellis, where on earth have you been? Carson had to come in and dress me this morning, and he said he hadn’t seen either of you at breakfast, and you weren’t in your rooms when he went to check.” He paused and looked them over, frowning slightly. “What have you been up to, anyway? You both look a mess.”
Thomas looked to Richard, who chuckled almost self-consciously. Showtime. “I’m afraid I got up to go and get some water in the night, and found Thomas going out to look a little longer for Isis, Your Lordship,” he said. “I decided to go out with him since four eyes would be better than two, and wandering about by yourself through the woods is a bad idea on the best of days.”
Lord Grantham’s eyes widened further as Richard spoke, and he looked between them before asking, “You mean to tell me you’ve been looking for her all night?”
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45 notes - Posted August 1, 2022
#4
As Long as We Both Shall Live
A/N: Day 4! This piece is a sequel to Come to Your Senses, although that piece isn't necessary to understand this one. Please be advised there are references to scars (all of Thomas's), and to his past su/cide attempt. Also, this fic does have a bit more of a mature feeling to it, and does contain light suggestive content. If that's all okay with you, then happy reading, and I hope you enjoy!
Summary: Richard reflects on the life he has now with Thomas, as Thomas reflects on how he came to have this life with Richard.
--
There was something beautiful about the way the morning sunlight reflected off of Thomas, in Richard’s opinion. The way it made his skin glow, his hair shine, lighting up the peaceful expression on his face as he slept. It was in these moments that Richard always found himself brushing his fingers through Thomas’s hair, marvelling at the sheer luck he’d had to run into Lady Mary that day in London.
Thomas usually stirred about then, clear blue eyes blinking as they opened to focus on his face. Richard’s favorite thing was the way Thomas would always smile, and lift his hand to brush his thumb over his cheek. The world was so quiet and still in those early hours. They’d finally carved out a place where they belonged.
After Thomas had agreed to stay with him, he’d told Lady Mary of his change in plans, and together they made the necessary arrangements. “It turns out,” he had told her, “there’s more than one way to have an honest life.”
It wasn’t long after that they were moving into one of the cottages near Downton. Officially, Thomas was the only one who lived in it, and had been granted the ability to do so as he’d been one of the few left living in the servants’ quarters in the house. Also officially, Richard was staying there with him, as Thomas had the room and Richard needed somewhere, and they’d kept in touch after the royal visit. Unofficially, this was still true, there was just more to the story.
Thomas and Richard did, of course, live together happily in that home. They just shared more than the roof of their heads- such as a bedroom, a hearth, a sofa at night. Richard would often walk up and join the staff at Downton for dinner, and other times, Thomas would walk down and have dinner with Richard alone. The best thing they were sharing together under that roof was their life.
Once they’d done all of that, and gotten used to their routine, Richard had chosen to surprise Thomas. He remembered hearing how Thomas had been set to travel the world, and that he’d given that up in order to stay and figure things out with him. The sacrifice hadn’t been lost on Richard, and though Thomas never said anything, he could tell it was something he’d been sad to miss.
That was precisely why they had ended up in Paris for a bit, sipping coffee in small cafés, walking along crowded streets, gazing up at the Eiffel Tower together. Richard remembered how the starlight had reflected off of Thomas those nights too, his face, and his skin that Richard kissed so gently when they were alone. Thomas never looked so beautiful as then, except when they were waking up.
Now that they were home again, Richard found he didn’t care what sun shined on Thomas’s face. He was beautiful in any light.
He turned and pressed a kiss to Thomas’s palm, taking his hand in his and kissing over the scar that marked his time in the trenches. The scar at his wrist, that marked the most painful time in his life. All the way down Thomas’s arm until the other man was grinning and blushing like a madman, until Richard offered him a reprieve, and kissed him slowly on his lips.
This… this was the most beautiful love Richard had ever known. This man in his arms, the most perfect he had ever known. For all he had been through, he was here, and nothing would change how grateful to be there with him Richard was. To feel his arms, his hands, his skin…
They passed their morning that way, until eventually Richard found himself rolled on his back, Thomas’s head against his chest as he held him close in his arms. He watched Thomas’s fingers as they drew slow, lazy, invisible patterns across his chest, a thoughtful expression across his face. But Richard knew Thomas. He’d speak when he was ready.
A few more moments passed before that time came, and Thomas asked him, “Do you ever think of how your life could have been different?”
Richard’s brows creased together, and he looked down at Thomas curiously. “I’m not sure how you mean,” he confessed. “As if… perhaps I’d not left Buckingham to come find you?” That had been the most impactful decision he’d made so far in his life, after all. So why not that?
“Suppose so,” Thomas replied. “I was just thinking how I could have been in another country right now, with another man- maybe, if it had worked out. But instead, I didn’t go, and I’m lying here with you, and I’ll never know what might have been different.”
“Well… in that case, I suppose I could have married Caroline, and I’d be waking up alone every day, with her in the room down the hall, and going about my business at the Palace,” Richard mused. Thomas chuckled a little. “Without offense to Caroline, I’m rather glad I don’t know how that would have turned out. Don’t feel like I need to, really. I’m happy here.”
Thomas turned his head a bit and rested his chin on Richard’s chest, looking up at him now as he thought. Eventually, he said, “So am I. I wanted to explore my options when I thought you weren’t one anymore, but now it’s like… it’s like I can’t imagine looking at another option. You’re the only one I really want, now.”
Nothing could have stopped the way Richard lit up hearing that, and he watched as Thomas mirrored him, felt him lean into his touch as he now brushed his thumb over Thomas’s cheek. “Hearing you talk that way makes me happier than I ever thought I could be,” Richard confessed. “My mother used to tell me when I was young, not to choose someone I could stay with the rest of my life, but someone I could barely stand to be without. I might never know what it’s like to have a wife and keep a job at Buckingham Palace for years and years to come, but I got a glimpse of a life without you. That glimpse was enough to know it’s something I never want to experience again.”
“I did have that,” he said. “Life without you. It was miserable. Bad enough it was obvious to everyone downstairs that something was wrong, even if I only told a few people what it was. Like you, I don’t want that again. Not unless you’re gone.”
Richard nodded, and when he gave Thomas a gentle tug, he quickly moved up so Richard could hold the back of his head, and bring his forehead down so it touched his own. “You won’t,” Richard promised. “On my life, you will never have to know that again until I’ve left this earth. I swear it.”
“As do I,” Thomas agreed. “I swear not to leave you until I’m passed on to whatever’s next. ‘Til death do us part, or whatever.”
Richard chuckled a bit at how Thomas had said it, but he grinned all the same. “Or whatever,” he even repeated, and then he kissed Thomas softly, somehow feeling as though he didn’t quite belong to himself anymore after such a vow. But when they broke apart, he couldn’t help himself from teasing Thomas, “I believe what you were searching for, was, ‘as long as we both shall live’.”
Thomas had always had the most beautiful smile.
“Yeah,” he replied. “I think that about sums it up.”
If you enjoyed this fic, please feel free to check out my masterlist!
Happy Barris Week!
@barris-week-2022
46 notes - Posted August 12, 2022
#3
Come to Your Senses
A/N: So Day 3 is REALLY late. But it is here! I don't believe there are any trigger warnings for this one, other than angst with a happy ending, so I hope you enjoy!
Summary: Richard Ellis receives an update on Thomas Barrow, and throws caution to the wind to do something about it.
--
The fact that Richard hadn’t heard from Thomas since his letter had him worried. He knew it wouldn’t be an easy letter to read, certainly, but he had hoped Thomas would at least respond and give him the chance to explain. He couldn’t do it in that letter, for an amalgamation of reasons, but now he was beginning to think another letter wouldn’t be appropriate. This was something best resolved in person.
He’d tried to find time to get away from Buckingham and make the trip up to Downton Abbey, but Mr. Wilson was very insistent that they couldn’t spare him just then. The King’s schedule was very full, and he was needed to be available at all times to keep his wardrobe perfect. As such, it had been a relief at first when he’d run into Lady Mary Crawley in London one day. Stopping her outside a shop, well aware she wouldn’t know him from the next person to walk out that door, he knew he needed to make his case quickly before he lost her attention.
“M’Lady,” he greeted, reaching a hand out toward her to catch her eye and hopefully stop her from walking on. He was pleased to see that it worked, as she turned to face him. “My apologies, m’Lady, I’m afraid you won’t know me. My name is Richard Ellis- I work at Buckingham Palace as one of the King’s dressers, and I was with His Majesty’s staff for the royal visit to Downton Abbey.”
Lady Mary looked at him curiously, tilting her head back just slightly as she regarded him. “I heard you all caused quite a stir downstairs,” she told him. “I decided I didn’t want to know, but I suppose you would have been involved?”
Richard cracked a grin as he remembered his trip to York with Thomas to call Mr. Wilson, and he chuckled. “In a way, m’Lady,” he confirmed. “But I like to think I wasn’t part of the problem.”
She hummed in an understanding sort of way. “Well then, I’m glad to hear it,” she said. “Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Ellis?” Thomas had mentioned she was quick to the core of things, and Richard could tell he spoke the truth about her. But that was something he appreciated, and so he didn’t beat around the bush.
“Actually, yes,” he replied. “I hoped I might ask how your butler has been doing, m’Lady. Mr. Barrow?”
Lady Mary’s eyes fell for the slightest moment, before she recovered, but he recognised the look in them- disappointment. Had Thomas let her down somehow? He knew Thomas had been disappointed himself in how he was treated during the royal visit, but surely he hadn’t done something once he’d returned?
“Mr. Barrow has turned in his notice,” she said. “Today is his last day, and he will be missed. But he’s received a rather exciting opportunity to work with a film star, and he wanted to take it.” She might have said more, but Richard had stopped listening as the blood drained from his face. Apparently, though, she noticed, as she prompted, “Mr. Ellis? Is something the matter?”
Richard’s eyes quickly snapped back to her, and he managed to put on a smile and as he shook his head, for once quite unconvincing. “Not at all, m’Lady. Thank you for your time, I should be returning to Buckingham now…” he said. She lifted a skeptical brow in response.
“Don’t let me keep you,” she said. “Have a nice day.” Richard nodded and turned to go, but he stopped when he heard her call out, “Mr. Ellis?” He looked back at her, his heart racing anxiously in his chest. “He’s still there, at the moment, and there’s a train you can catch that would get you to Thirsk tonight.”
As soon as he realised what she was saying, his eyes widened, and he nodded. “Thank you very much, m’Lady,” he replied.
“Good luck.” She offered him little more than that, a nod, and a knowing smile before she went on into the store, and freed Richard to go racing back to Buckingham Palace.
He wasn’t sure he had ever packed so little, or so quickly, in his life, and he was certainly the topic of gossip as he rushed around to put his things in order. On his way out the door, he was stopped by Mr. Wilson himself who asked, or rather demanded, “And where do you think you’re going, Mr. Ellis? I’ve told you, your presence is required here.”
Richard swallowed hard. “I’ve had a family emergency,” he lied. “There’s a train I can just catch, but only if I go now.”
“Your duty is here, Mr. Ellis,” Mr. Wilson reminded him, but Richard shook his head.
“Not my only duty,” he replied. “If you’ll excuse me.”
With that, he turned and left. The consequences might be severe, but when faced with needing a new job, and losing Thomas for good, there wasn’t any question which was worse. One was inconvenient, and the other had him filled with a sense of dread ever since Lady Mary had given him the news.
The cab he took didn’t feel like it moved nearly quick enough, nor did the line at the train station. But he was finally able to purchase a ticket for the last train to Thirsk, and he got seated shortly before it was to depart. When it finally pulled out of the station, it occurred to Richard that he had exactly no plan on what he was even going to say to Thomas, much less anything else. He had so much to explain, so much to ask Thomas’s forgiveness for, but would he offer it? Would it be enough? Only time would tell.
It was getting late by the time the train arrived in Thirsk, just as Lady Mary had said it would be, but he still managed to get a cab that would take him to Downton Abbey- even if he did have to pay an extra fee for the distance. Richard watched the rain falling as they drove along, hoping desperately that it wasn’t some form of bad omen for his meeting with Thomas. He might not have worried if it wasn’t outright pouring by the time he got to Downton, much like the night before the royal visit, but he couldn’t quite help himself.
The cab pulled around back so Richard could go straight to the servants’ entrance, and he paid the driver before climbing out with his bag, and walking through the rain to the door. The result of such a walk was that he was soaking wet and dripping by the time Mrs. Hughes opened the door, answering his insistent knocking, and her eyes went wide with shock.
“Mr. Ellis!” she gasped. “What on earth are you doing out there in this weather? Come inside before you catch your death…”
Mrs. Hughes ushered him into the house quickly, and he immediately began to survey the servants’ hall for any sign of Thomas Barrow. Unfortunately, he found there was none, so he turned to Mrs. Hughes with wide, almost panicked eyes. “Mr. Barrow,” he said. “Where is he? Please tell me he’s not left just yet.”
Something seemed to click in her, and she looked at him with an expression he couldn’t quite read. What was it with him that day, that he couldn’t quite read anyone’s expressions when it came to this?
“He’s not very pleased with you, you know,” she warned him, and he cut her off before she could say much more.
“I do know,” he said. “Please, is he still here? I need to set things right between us before he goes, and Lady Mary said-”
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57 notes - Posted August 10, 2022
#2
Ok Disney+ point made 😳😂
92 notes - Posted November 20, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Omg Shuri and Namor were exit buddies 😳
251 notes - Posted November 16, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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