#is untreated adhd symptoms lol lmao haha. also depression and maybe a heaping of autism burnout.
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literally going to fail my class this semester fml
#damien.txt#hehe that moment when you're egregiously depressed and you haven't gone to that class in a week#and it meets like 3 times a week and has daily quizzes and graded attendance so it's only the 4th week and your grade is like a 60 already#and like yeah you have time to turn it around but also you're So Exhausted and the sheer concept of showing up to that class is Too Much#....... fuck i really need to get diagnosed with adhd so i can get accommodations bc honestly my suspicion is that at least half of this#is untreated adhd symptoms lol lmao haha. also depression and maybe a heaping of autism burnout.#and maybe something fun and mystical that i don't even know about#i started going to the free therapy on my campus that is done by grad students and uhhhh#it's like. fine. nice to be able to vent. but i think my issues are like. too serious and too extensive for the program?#which is fair but also fuck i really don't have the money to pay for therapy rn#at least w/o insurance. and i dont have the balls to tell my parents 'pls let me use your insurance for therapy'#bc they basically don't believe in mental health lol and particularly would probably not believe me if i said i think i have adhd/autism/etc#but man i might have to just suck it up because i am seriously suffering here. it's really bad.#all this to say. something's gonna give. and it's gonna happen real soon#gonna go. cry and go sleep. and make decisions that continue to negatively impact my grade ig#one more thought. it's honestly crazy how mental health works bc like. i have cared for So Long about my grades#like i have been. pretty much a straight A student my whole life up until basically last semester#and i have very rapidly within like. a year's time seen that priority slip further and further. like i truly cannot summon the drive/anxiety#i used to feel abt potentially failing a course. even tho like. there would be really bad fallout if i did#idk. truly just thinking. sorry if u read this far. if you have any tips on how to actually exist as a human being i would appreciate
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