#is this very cringe kpop stan of me? yes

[hariboz]

i saw an “which idol has given you the ick” tiktok like two days ago and i still think about it because so many of the comments mentioned ricky and i’m just??? like yes people have opinions but MY POOKIE?? especially bc the comments kept mentioning how he always tries to look good and how he’s just a try hard while in actuality he’s just a very lovely silly guy…. :(

[prettyforsuguru]

JJK (jujutsu kaisen) HEAD-CANNONS !!!

| well, hello. Welcome to my world ! (pretty cringe, but whatever) Today I thought of some head-cannons about JJK characters. I thought long and hard on this, so I hope this gets to other people ! Not all of these are from my imagination. Some of these are from tiktokers i weally like (like trin and erika. I hope you guys know them T_T) but anyways, I’ll try to make more of these when I have time. Anyways, enough of me talking, let’s get started ! |

note: this is my first time making something like this. Let me know if you have any tips for me ! (^^)

TM (things mentioned) & WARNINGS: dating, smoking mentioned in suguru’s, guns mentioned in toji’s, mentions of killing in sukuna, mentions of family members dying in sukuna, mentions of irl crimes in toji & sukuna’s, drinking mentioned, getting drunk mentioned, roblox game “da hood” mentioned, one night stand/hook ups mentioned in toji, sukuna, and suguru’s, pregnancy mentioned in sukuna’s, cheating mentioned in suguru’s, satoru not being loyal head-cannon, spoilers in nanami’s and a little bit in toji’s, homeless & stank mentioned in toji’s, road rage mentioned in toji’s, disrespect mentioned in sukuna’s.

• Satoru Gojo:

• Hmm. Have you ever thought how Gojo would be if he had a phone? Yes. He’s the type to use emojis a-lot. He’s also a type to use them face icons like ( ˘ω˘ ). I feel like it’s so him. :3

• Gojo is NEVER serious. Though, He can be very serious. If you see THE Satoru Gojo mad or with a serious face, you KNOW it’s serious. (You see how Satoru was mostly in a cutesy and non-serious mode throughout the show unless it was something really serious? That’s why I thought of this head cannon.)

• Gojo is definitely not the type of person to be loyal. He can pull anybody for his unique features, and for his stunning look. Any girl be coming at him, and he knows exactly how to entertain them. If you actually dated THE Satoru Gojo, you would definitely be jealous with all of the girls coming up to him, and how he interacts with them.

• Gojo is the type to be the yapper in the friend group. He would yap about anything I feel like. I feel like while he yaps his butt off to Suguru AND Nanami, Suguru would often question, “what is he on about?” And as you know, Nanami would be tired of him yapping. I guarantee you.

• Gojo is definitely a kpop Stan. He’s a girl group listener. He’s the type to be a true Stan or iz*one. He would absolutely LOVE YENA. Her songs are written with a glitter pen with a puff ball at the top. Nemo-Nemo, Sugar, Smiley, and more are more likely to be his favorites. He loves songs that are written with a glittery pen with a nice poof ball at the top. Me too, Satoru, me too.

• His style? Hm. Idk. I think he would wear a Barbie like style. Pink, white, yeah. Or, something more cutesy. A cutesy style would fit him :3

• If Gojo drank alcohol, and if he got drunk, he’s a crazy drunk. He would yap about so many things, sometimes it don’t even make sense. If your at a karaoke, drunk or not, he’s singing. It will be literal gibberish if he’s drunk.

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• Suguru Geto:

• Ive been waiting for this one. I thought about these alot, so prepare ( ◠‿◠ )

• Suguru is the type of person to LOVE music (like me hehe) I feel like he would listen to rock n roll of whatever you call it, or just music bands. ( like weezer, or maybe mother mother. Maybe also tv girl. He would probably choose one of them bands. :3) and if he wants to listen to any k-rock bands, it would probably be xdinary heros. (A k-rock band under jyp entertainment.)

• Baggy clothes are definitely his thing. Especially with his long luxurious black hair out and down, beautiful. His style in this world would definitely be grunge, or harajuku I think how you spell it. (I said both because I searched up both of them on Pinterest and the same photos popped up. I got so confused so I just chose both.)

• He is the type of person to smoke. When he’s mad or something, “I need a smoke break” or if he needs/wants to smoke, “I need a smoke break.”. When he’s with a friend, he’ll ask if they smoke, and if they do and if they want to smoke at the moment, he will give them a lighter, and maybe a cigarette. (Only if they forgot their lighter and need one.)

• He is definitely the type to manspread. (Basically when they sit with their legs open, and sometimes they slouch.) or, he sits with his elbows on his knees.

• Hes the type to be in a “friends with benefits” trope. He can get touchy and clingy, even though you guys are just friends. Even if you have a boyfriend, does he look like he care? No. He tends to get jealous of your boyfriend too. In the end, (hopefully) you break up with your boyfriend for something like he cheated on you or something serious like that, and you vent to Suguru about it, and then BOOM. You guys are dating <3 (based on a fanfic I read. I reblogged it a while ago and I forgot the creators user.)

• He’s definitely the type to play an instrument. Either an electric guitar, or a regular guitar. He can also be the type to play the drums. Imagine how attractive he’ll look while drumming with a band, on stage, with his long black luxurious hair down, and with some sweat on his face. Automatically my dream man.

• He’s definitely the type to have TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS😍 nose piercings and ear piercings are definitely his thing. Maybe even eyebrow piercings. Imagine how he would look with tattoos and piercings + a muscular body.

• small note: he’s not the type to have a billion of piercings. (just a exaggeration.) he would think there’s no need. He’ll probably have double of triple piercings on his ears (including that big circle piercing he has. I don’t know what it’s called.)

•He’s the type to drive with one hand on the steering wheel, and his other arm on the arm rest. (If he has a girlfriend in the passenger seat, his hand will be on her thigh, or sometimes gently petting your hair.)

• This one is from my friend : Geto would call you a monkey and see that it hurt you feelings, then he would console you with a hug and kisses

• small note: this one is actually so cutesy awwwwww

• Suguru is also the guy to drink. I feel like he would handle it well. If he gets drunk, then he will definitely text some random stuff to people. You will definitely see a message like this, “hryzzz hie sre ypu dpinh” and you know Suguru is drunk. That man knows how to spell, so it will be obvious when he’s drunk. Sometimes, if he has a girlfriend he would try to text them “o muss ypu” but unfortunately, they accidentally texted their ex.

• side note: ouch.

• Suguru can really just take your girl, or just take you away from your man, even if he doesn’t try to. If your cheating on your man, and you hook up with him, yeah your definitely going to get addicted to doing the boombayah with him, and then your going to end up dating Suguru. Cheated on your ex boyfriend with him or not, he is still loyal to you, and you better be loyal to him back.

• side note: don’t even ask why I thought of this.

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• Kento Nanami :

• I wish they had the yellow color, but they don’t. 🥲

• Hm. Nanami is the sweetest man in jujutsu kaisen I feel like. Every time I watch moms look at Kento Nanami, they are always falling in love with him. I don’t blame them.

• Nanami is definitely a foodie. He’s not really the type to eat unhealthy food like fried food and fast food. He’s a type to be a more fancy foodie. Restaurants are definitely his thing. The fancy restaurants with foods that are the most hardest name to pronounce, I feel like he would somehow know how to pronounce them. When I try to pronounce them, I’m speaking a whole different language at that point. It’s too hard T.T

•He is the type to ADORE time with you. Things such as movie nights, or date nights, his favorite thing. His date ideas either be restaurant nights, walks around the city, or sometimes going to the movies.

• His style is more basic, but fancy. His colors are any shade of brown, not orangish brown though, white, sometimes gray, and black. His style is like academia. Light or dark academia, it fits him.

• He’s the type to be on that mewing streak, and hitting the gym every other day. Did y’all see his jawline and body in season 2? It’s like bro had a glow up. (He was always fine.) He’s also the type to use that one toy where it’s like a ball, but you bite it to strengthen your jawline. I hope y’all know what I’m talking about😭 (I saw an add on it on TikTok, I forgot what it was called.)

• small note: he’s definitely the type to mew everywhere, and everyday😭. He’s been mewing until he died in season two ._.

• He is the type to help old people cross the street, and help people with groceries like carrying them into their car. If he’s feeling generous enough, he’s also the type to pay for their groceries if they don’t have enough money for it. He is also the type of person to stand up for women and men, but mainly women. He definitely believes the rule, “men don’t hit women”

• He’s the type to listen to classical music, or jazz on the radio. He’s not really the type to listen to artists like nowadays. If he’s feels like it, he’ll listen to music like flowers by miley cyrus I think her name is, or that one song that goes like “someone put me on the double shot of whiskey”. Other than that, he’s the type to listen to classical and jazz music. Maybe opera too… opera is beautiful and calm. Hehe.

• small note: and, he’s the type to marry me. Heh.😋

• He’s also the type to handle alcohol well. The only time he will get drunk is if he’s in the comfort of his home. If he’s out drinking in public, he will be careful enough to drink 1 or 2 glasses of any alcohol. Even if Gojo convinced him to drink more, you are NOT catching that man drunk in public.

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• Kamo Choso :

• Hmm… I didn’t think of this one alot. Him and Suguru give off the same vibe to me kind of… so some of it might be the same from his.

• Choso has two sides. Cutesy, and kawaii, and horror and scary. Like art the clown. He gives off the cute vibes (sometimes…) and then he gets a little scary and horror. Also like Russian roulette. Cute song, but meaning is crazy.

• He’s definitely the type to have a creepy pasta phase before. He’s also the type to love scary games and horror movies. Five nights at Freddy’s, sonic exe, creepy pasta, ect is his stuff.

• small note: sonic exe used to be in my old childhood. I was scared of it because of the music, but it prepared me to not be scared of the horror movies now. I’m still scared of terrifier and art the clown though.

• His music taste is similar to Sugurus, but his is more…. Heavy metal. Xdinary heros, baby metal, mother mother, Sleeping with Sirens (especially a trophy father’s trophy son) is his stuff. If he feels like it, he’s the type to listen to enhypens songs like fatal trouble, given taken, and criminal love.

• His style? Grunge, or what people would call “emo” like scene, and goth. Mostly goth though, especially with the make up and stuff and the outfits, and the hairstyles, it would fit him.

• On his cutesy side, he’s definitely clingy. He enjoys being the little spoon. Especially while you play with his hair, 💋. He’s also the type to lay his head on your chest, or stomach. He would be so cute ;3

• small note: his theme song for his cutesy side would be “yachin ga hanbun?!” which is one of nana’s osts. :3

• Emojis are also his thing. He’s not the type to fit everybody else’s use of emoji. Instead of “😭” when they laugh, it’s “😅” and “😂” for him. He is also not the type of person to use short cuts when he types. Like for example, instead of “idk” he says “I don’t know” instead of “wayd” he says “what are you doing.” I mean, he was born in a different generation, he’s 150 years old😧

• hmmm…. I feel like choso isn’t the type to drink. If he was the type to drink, he would definitely get drunk easily.

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• Toji Fushiguro :

• I was waiting for this one, heh.😼 half of these are habits that I’ll do. We’re both broke after all, and I feel like we can bond if I was his age. (BROKIESSSSSSS)

• Toji is the type to road rage. Like literally. If you sit at a green light for 2 seconds, you hear loud beeping behind you. Like dang the light just turned green😭

side note: • but if you do that to him, he would either yell at you, or if he’s really mad, he’ll grab his gun, pull down his window, and shoot at you. And I promise you, bro does NOT miss.

• While he drives, he’s definitely the type to listen to that rap music. Some of it is sooooo bad, some of it is actually good. Lil mabu, sexy redd, ddosama and his friends who are also rappers I think (idk bro😭) is his type of music that you would hear BLASTING every time toji drove past you. (Before y’all start with the broke comments, shiu probably gave bro his check , and he used it for a car. He’s still homeless and stinky though.)

• If toji has a house, he’s the type to live in da hood. There will always be shootings where he live (he’s the reason for it) peoples money missing (he took your money) and music ALWAYS blasting (which is mostly from his house.)

• if toji finds the right lover, he’s the type to literally change. Suddenly, he’s caring, he’s clingy, and he’s alot nicer to you.

• small note: if somebody hurts you or do anything to you, your never seeing them again.

• Toji is the type to be a BIG curser. It can be around kids, or parents, or even random strangers in public, he’s cursing any chance he gets.

• He’s a different version of the spare change dude on TikTok. (Y’all remember him) begging people for money walking by.

• if you tell toji to do the “give me my money” trend, I guarantee you after the video, he’ll be like “where my money” like erm, it was a trend.

• I hear this so much times every time I read a fanfic of him. Nicknames like “doll” “sweets” or “pretty little thing” is definitely what he’s calling you. Dating or not, stranger or not, he’s calling you that. (If he feels like it.) if you make him mad, he’s definitely calling you woman.

• invite this man to a part with alcohol, he is definitely coming and drinking. Sometimes he would get drunk, sometimes he wouldn’t. Can he handle alcohol? Hmmmm… yes.

• Every party you invite this man to, he is ALWAYS leaving with a one night stand. After they hook up, he’s leaving her on the hotel bed, and he is OUT.

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last one :

• Ryomen Sukuna :

• Sukuna is a big and grumpy man. I’ve been thinking about this alot, so let’s get into it !

• Sukuna definitely has the “I do NOT give a flip” mindset. You see the last item of something in the store, you go and grab it, it’s gone. You look to your left, and you see ryomen sukuna having the exact same item in your hand. “Erm, I was ge”- “I do not care.” oh. He then walks away with the item.

• Sukuna does NOT know the word “permission.” He’s the type to make you his slave or girlfriend without even asking you. Like dang (＾ｰ^)

• You are NOT catching bro calling you cute names like “sweetheart” “doll” not even “love” no. You’re getting “woman” or “human” or, maybe just your name if he even knows your name.

• if he actually loves you, he’s really possessive. Somebody looks at you too hard? Gone. Somebody tries to hit you up? Gone. Somebody cat calls you? Gone. Somebody gets a little too close to you? You guessed it. Gone.

• He’s the type to hide what he actually wants. If he wants to cuddle with you, he is not telling you that. If he wants to kiss you, he is NOT telling you that. Even such a tough man is a little shy at some things.

• He is over 1000 years old, he is from the ancient times. So, he does NOT know how to do things in this century. He doesn’t know how to work a phone. It’s not like he gives a crap about that.

• Trust me. He does NOT have a soft heart. He’s cold hearted. Very cold hearted. You tell him your mom died? He’s bursting out in laughter. Oh no! Your boyfriend broke up with you? He’s bursting out in laughter.

• Is he loyal? Hm. If your not who he reallllyyyyyyy wants, then no. Does he care? No.

• Have you ever seen them tiktok lives where they all take turns roasting eachother? Sukuna would COOK at that. Everybody would be flabbergasted.

• small note: nobody can clock sukunas tea. (well, maybe if you bring up his true true form which is a pou.)

• He can definitely handle alcohol. 2 giant bottles, and he’s still sober. He’ll definitely make fun of you for getting drunk after a couple of glasses.

• hook ups? Yes. He’s not as crazy as toji though. He’ll probably focus on 1-3 girls. He might get you pregnant, but that man does NOT care. Sad, but true.

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hehehe guys I’m done. I spent the whole afternoon on this. My hands are sweating… but yeah. Thank you for reading !

(remember. Some of this is inspired by trin and erika on TikTok, and the rest is mostly made up in my head.)

I might make more head-cannons like the jujutsu students, and WOMEN😍 let me stop acting gay. But anyways, try to look forward to them guys ! Byeeeee

😋🎀🎻💝🦢🪞

random note: I used to play in orchestra, now I play in the band since my school doesn’t do orchestra no more. I miss orchestra so much, and my clarinet keeps screeching😒

[swords-of-a-soilder]

Remove Problematic CCs

Section 2

"The Qsmp is problematic"

So fun fact twitter hates this fandom and everything it stands for, I'm not kidding when I say the amount of people I saw calling the fandom, toxic, racist, misgontic and ableist is interesting to say the least.

So of course when the SulhasSpace issue happened some people ran with it as proof that the fandom is the problem. Now I've show you guys an racist account before in the last account of interest (burnbook Qsmp) So I'm not here to pretend it's not a problem, it absolutely is.

So yes I get where these are coming from to some degree but Twitter doesn't forgive or forget, and there's of course the fact that not ever "fan" is actually a fan.

That being said they are two sides to Qsmp twitter right now,

1)Chill fun time, drawing your faves.

2)your faves are problematic and if you don't push for them to be kick out your a terrible person.

A common discussion I see on the twitter is often, "oh you're defending your faves, you call out any creator but your faves" completely ingoring the fact that most the stuff their holding said faves accountable for are ages old.

They call us parasocial but then make post after post advocating for members to be removed from the SMP, it's making rounds, so I want to clear any misinformation on Twitter and make it clear when creators apologize.

I bring you back to this tweet (please don't even interact with this person Thank you.)

You might remember them from the bonus section, this was posted jan 5 2024 with 1.3K likes (Jesus) so allow me to clear the air on some accusations.

In the reply of this they link a thread stating all problematic behaviors of creators, however MAJORITY of the this thread is just attacking the fan base I'm not even kidding.

Here's the thing, the bad apples aren't the fandom, it was this same behavior that had people attack dsmp fans.

Say what you want about Dream but you can acknowledge the dsmp fandom got so much hate for simply existing because a few of them were bad.

Because as someone who's been in both, and left both oddly who was previously a full on dream Stan and just sorta grew out of him. People hated us just for liking the dsmp.

They attacked minors in cosplay called us fatherless and cringe (and like yeah but still) overall make fun of Nurodiverst kids for having hyperfixations, and their justification was we're all terrible people.

Here's my thing, you don't actually care, you don't care about the alleged victims or the people who's lives are at risk; You want to make the fandom look bad.

You could have easily said "A person on twitter told another they hope the us gets bomb" and yeah I understand it was in the context of the Qsmp but people are not their interset, don't water people down to the things they like, then you're just making stereotypes.

How is it any different than saying, "a kpop stan did this, a furry did that,"

Also while I'm on this compersion of both I've noticed a constant conflict in regards to the Forever situation vs Dream situation with the parties on either side the other cc is guilty but theirs isn't.

I noticed this as soon as the accusations dropped actually a lot of people even here on Tumblr, where saying "this is what we deserved" and at "least dream didn't actually do it"

Tô be honest I noticed the fandom was at odds before that even, they were sudden talk here on Tumblr which means the topic likely came from Twitter of the dsmp compered to the Qsmp.

And I'll be honest dsmp was getting dragged, I read these thinking, 'why are we comparing them, they're clearly different with their own stories.' I still wonder that.

I don't want to fight with dream SMP fans, I use to be one of you , I had a freaking fan fic plan that was just c:! ranboo getting teleported into the Qsmp.

Why don't have to fight, but I guess with dream being unlikable, that makes things very hard.

Anyways I'm getting of track, when this person does have a important Calm it's often.. wrong

Ok no, to both of these.

1) she was not the only woman on the server, Jaiden joined the server at the very beginning, so unless I miss an noticed that Jaiden actually used macs pronounces that's a fuckin lie.

You can see Jaiden right there behind Foolish, on the very first day. This isn't hard to confirm, it doesn't even take a second.

I read the tweet and immediately went, nah that's not true I remember Jaiden, And what do you know Jaiden was in fact a member at that time.

(looking at this image gives me so much Nostalgia omg..)

2) she was not the only one being harassed, in fact they literally contradict their own statement with proof bad was receiving hate at the same time

Political lore, as in election season? I mean it must be I can't think of another political Qsmp event that bad was involved it huh crazy but If thats the case then Baghera wasn't the only one receiving hate thats... that's crazy, you're crazy.

Non of the tweets that screenshot are misogynistic, it's just people who believe the dream accusations criticing her attendance to his concert.

Also let me be clear real quick, I am AFAB in fact tmi I haven't even gotten on T, it's difficult to here and I'm afraid of getting hate crimed.

So I understand misgony, I live it, this is not what this is; Criticizing a woman isn't inherently misgony.

When you guys said "Qsmp had a misgony problem," is that what you guys meant, a woman gets hate and it's automatically misgony and not a section of the fandom being toxic..? Ok

[peppertaemint]

I was wondering your thoughts about this still to this day, hate on SuperM from fans of the groups (mostly EXO-Ls), that were in SuperM. A reaction channel recently featured a few SuperM videos and the comment section was a g.d. hot mess. I cannot believe almost 5 years later and people (again mostly annoying ass EXO-Ls) are still being petty and childish asf about them. Anything from: they were created for evil (yes evil lmao) purposes by LSM to it was a horrible time for Kai and Baekhyun because they were so overworked and LSM scolded Baekhyun for his opinins so it's odd that some EXO-Ls would like that group to they were created to "take down" BTS because LSM was jealous etc etc and all that bullshit. Sometimes I can't believe I'm part of the idiot species who think like that lmao None of those excuses for hating a group with seven talented and attractive as hell adult men, make any sense. The overworked shit drives me nuts the most because it's once again babying these grown ups who are old enough to make their own decisions and knew juggling multiple groups was going to be tricky but wanted to be part of it. I am so sick of "fans" being angry, upset, defensive or hurt on behalf of these adults. LSM scolded Baekhyun. Okay??? Lmao Like that's between those two and nobody knows the level of the scolding anyway. Baek didn't say "LSM cursed me the fuck out and told me he's gonna kick my dog next time he sees him" scolding can even be done playfully. I just can't wrap my mind around all the stupid excuses to hate on this group. EXO-CBX are having a comeback this year and Baekhyun is having an Asian tour and a solo album (I forget if that's been confirmed though lol) on top of an EXO mini album. No fucking cries of being overworked there. What do you think is behind this SuperM hate because I saw six (sorry Lucas lol) ridiculously talented people who enjoyed being around each other while singing fun (arguably) catchy songs. People saying that group is over and Baek and Kai will never be part of that group again, meanwhile Taemin in November called Baekhyun SuperM's leader. Idk if that group is done for good but to still be bitter and bitchy about them is mindblowing to me.

Oh, Anon. It's a sport to hate SuperM. A passionate hobby for many. Before I had listened to the group, I was told by quite several people what a "fail" they were, how terrible they were, etc. When I encountered them, I was expecting the worst.

Now, there are legitimate reasons to criticize. A lot of the music is ridiculous, the concepts ridiculous, etc. Like, the entire "Avengers" concept was flawed from the get-go. Peak cringe. But, at the end of the day, it's still a group with 6 of the most talented people in the entire genre. That can't be denied. And for that reason, I do have reason to believe it will return at some point. When you have a diamond, you wear it.

If you're expecting EXO fans to stop making hatred a sport, it will never happen. They are the original army; they're the blueprint for BTS's fans. EXO paved the way for BTS, and so did their fans (ppl are so dumb if they can't see that, but I digress...). They love to be butt hurt and make it everyone else's problem. I'm always grateful that the problem with shawols is that their standards are sky-high, lol. And they rarely waste time on such nonsense.

And I'm with you. I give zero shits if Baekhyun gets scolded at work. Who hasn't been scolded at work? I scold and get scolded, lol. That's work. Unfortunately, a lot of the people drawn to the kpop "stan" thing are people who aren't familiar with having an ambitious and demanding career. For us that are chasing something, you do work hard and overstretch yourself and get scolded and fail and try again. Lots of things happen if you're chasing a dream. What I hate is the "overwork" thing you bring up because it's just very clear these people don't know what it's like to go after your dreams and start succeeding. And they don't understand what a lot of people's lives are like. Only slept a few hours and went to work? Yep, that happens. Working all day and hustling a side business at night or studying or something else? Yep, that happens. Traveling for work so much you forget where you are or what your hotel room number is? Yes.. LOL. I have to keep the little thing they write it on or I'll be in big trouble.

[itgirlgyu]

the tiktok coquette girlies be getting a bit too extreme these days tho like babe not you romanticizing lolita pls chill

omg yes yujin wonie unit would be so amazing but like I want to see wonyoung as a soloist so bad 🙏 i cannot stop watching her fancams her stage presence is just so captivating like there's a reason knetz call her once in a century idol Or smth like that

also is it just me Or were the aespa aesthetics seriously off this comeback like what happened to the cyber-futuristic vibe they had going on :// is it the kwangya lore 🤨

ALSO RICKY IS SO FINE?!? I WOULD HAVE CRINGED IF ANY OTHER GUY PULLED THE "YOUNG RICH HANDSOME" LINE BUT HE CAN DO IT. SO WELL.

i actually don't hate the name zerobaseone but why are boy group names so...weird. Always be pulling some bs like "PU55YSL4YER" "123ABC"

-🍎

ngl i dk what tiktok coquette girls are upto because my tiktok is DISGUSTINGLY patriotic she won't let me see any other FYP other than my dumbass country's stupid ass content creators (shoot me between the eyes instead) but ewwww not lolita GIRL THAT'S FUCKING GROOMING EW EW EW EW

omg wonie as a soloist tbh i never thought of her as one but now that you say it kinda like wonder how her concepts would be omg i feel like they should like make her do thsoe like very 2nd gen girly pop kpop concepts my GIRL WOULD EAT THAT SUGAR CANDY CRUSH KINDA VIBES SHE'S SO ADORABLE!!!,,,,my girl getting called century idol for her face wow, i mean get the bag girlie

tbh like I kinda had more expectations from aespa mv tbh like yk that logo thing they had thr teasers THAT WAS SERIOUSLY SO SO SO COOL wish the song had that kind of elements tho,,, karina ate tho

bro i don't know much about Ricky BUT ONLY THAT GUY COULD PULL THAY SHIT OFF IT'S actually so funny but I canr believe ppl simp for him like,,, like wow he's 04 liner tho wow,, no BUT BOY GROUP NAME BE SOUNDING LIKE ENGINEERING AND COMMUTER SCIENCE SCHOOL PROJECT NAMES LIKE what is, txt, WHAT IS CRAVITY?!, what the fuck is cix? next thing you know in thr new fast and furious movie, they will pull up with a car named zerobase1

also do u stan dreamcatcher anonie??

[daesungindistress]

I'm a Dae solo stan, but just had a peek at what ot5 Dae stans on twitter get up to and feel like I've lost braincells. Daesung deserves better fans, as these people seem rather dimwitted describing themselves as so soft, cuddly, adorable, uwu bc that's how Dae is and their personalities align with his. And always tying him to SR and how he just adores his maknae so much. Yikes, serious infantilization there and not how Daesung comes across to me at all.

Oh, this is refreshing. Not that I was ever under the impression that it was only me who felt this way, but it's nice to see from someone else, even if anonymously. And without prompting! I'll agree, and would like to add that this right here is pretty much the reason why I, as general rule, keep my distance from that group, even setting aside their senseless support for the ex-member turned sex offender (though I'd argue their dimwittedness has something to do with that). Even without the OT4/5 war, the fandom split, whatever you call it, those are not the types of people I would want to associate with.

In fact, for as long as I've been interested in BIGBANG, despite being steadfastly Daesung biased myself, there have been very few Dae stans who I've clicked with over the years. There's a reason why my social circle of fandom friends and follows has always been selectively small, going all the way back to this blog's beginning in January 2016. It's partly my personality, partly the pool of people that surround me. Consider that the type of fan you've observed and described above makes up a large percentage of Dae stans, or is overrepresented among Dae stans, and you'll understand why I tend to gravitate more toward fans of the other members. People who like Daesung, appreciate him for his many skills and talents, and respect him as a valued member of the BIGBANG team, but manage to sidestep this bizarre trap of infantilization and woobification that seems to ensnare so many Daesung-biased VIPs, most of all those on the OT5 side. It's not cute, it's not amusing, and it's certainly not appealing. It's embarrassing, to the extent that I can't bring myself to look anymore. Not even a peek. Three tweets in and I'm cringing.

Maybe I've just outgrown it. I feel like I've outgrown a lot of things in the last few years, jaded to the point where being a Dae stan in this fandom often feels like being the lone adult in a room full of children. Which is an uncanny feeling when you remember that this is a thirty-three-year-old man we're dealing with. Yes, he's sweet, at times silly, and all-in-all lovely, but I'd like to see more maturity in the way he's perceived and presented/portrayed by fans. The k in kpop doesn't stand for kids.

That said, the feeling is mutual, I think. "Not like other Dae stans," they say about me, derogatory. But what they don't seem to realize is it's a point of pride for me. So to that I say, "Thank you for noticing."

[lara635kookie]

Ranking the best The 39 Clues books(First season because the other ones just aren't canon in my mind).

SPOILER ALERT!

If you're a Clue Hunter and is reading this post, when you finish it reblog it and do your ranking of The First Season books(please I need to know I'm not alone on this fandom)(Please someone tell me I didn't get to this fandom too late). Also this is only my opinion. If you think different feel free to share your thoughts(respectly). So let's go:

My Personal Favorites:

10-Beyond The Grave(Book Four written by Jude Watson):

Honestly this book is overall good and I really wanted to go Egypt but that's only in this place because Ian and Natalie don't show up in person, they're only mentioned by Amy and Dan sometimes. It may seem like a stupid reason but Ian and Natalie were the biggest enemies of Amy and Dan, arch-enemies since the two understand themselves by person and their appearances have always been so iconic, the chases, the talks, the fights, the teasing so the fact they weren't in this book just didn't feel right. The Cahills and the Kabras have a lot of chemistry, both as enemies and as much something more(if you get me, lovers cough cough), and the Kabras have been sorely missed in this book(at least by me).

9-The Emperor's Code(Book Eight written by Gordon Korman):

I don't know compared to the other ones, this one just look kinda forgettable. Maybe because Amy and Dan spend a good part of this book apart. But of course the story has its good moments which are when Dan gives an autograph for a girl (D. Cahill is priceless), when Dan tells the Wizards that he is a Madrigal (as we say in Brazil: Iconic, Memorable and Timeless) (Dan was very amazing in this book, if you disagree, disagree in silence) and when Amy saves Ian(aka Love of her life) from falling off Mount Everest.

8-The Viper's Nest(Book Seven written by Peter Lerangis):

I love that one but the other ones are just better. I like the ending with Isabel(and everyone) thinking that the Clue was Diamond and It wasn't. I also like the scenes with Kurt because I wanted Ian to meet him and Kurt make Ian jealous of Amy(don't judge my dreams). Another thing that I really like is the history. I really like studying history and I learnt so much about Shaka Zulu. And was also with that book that I realized that Isabel had arrived to stay and that she would be the Main Villain in the end somehow. Maybe That's another reason why I don't like much The Emperor's Code:Isabel didn't show up and I thought she would appear in all the other books after In Too Deep. Natalie on Storm Warning said that Isabel didn't trust Ian and her to handle the Hunt without Isabel anymore since Russia so that just doesn't make sense. Maybe she didn't appearead to give Cora Wizard the spotlight but anyway let's continue.

7-The Black Circle(Book Five written by Patrick Carman):

I love this one so much. Probably because in this book we see that Ian is also in love with Amy. On Book three he seemed to like her but then he and Natalie let Amy, Dan and Alistair locked on the cave and we only see Amy Side of this story. Her sadness. But we didn't know if Ian was sorry, if he regreted his actions. And when they come back on this book we see Ian still likes Amy and the fandom goes crazy. I mean even if you are a Jamy/Carian shipper or shipps another shipp you probably shipped Amyan before because they were the only promising couple on the series(at least on series one). Back to the book I Love The Holts defeating the Kabras and Amy and Dan doing an Alliance with Hamilton(Dan envying Hamilton for driving a Kamaz will be Forever iconic). Also this book was when I realized Irina wasn't bad. I didn't like her in the other books and I didn't notice much of her but everything changed on this book and I started to love her. * sad sigh * Moving on!

6-The Maze of Bones(Book One written by Rick Riordan):

Uncle Rick(we call him like that on Brazil, in portuguese is Tio Rick) did a really great job on this one. For a series that has several authors writing, the beginning is very important and it is a great responsibility for the first author because those who will write later have to understand what you wanted to convey in the beginning to make a coherent continuation. Rick Riordan did it flawlessly. We can identify ourselves in the characters and we get really connected to the plot, the history, the riddles about Benjamin Franklin and after finishing the book we wanna know more about what happens next. So Rick Riordan absolutely slayed this introduction and no one can tell me otherwise.

5-One False Note(Book Two written by Gordon Korman):

This book is just unforgivable. I love this with all my soul. Probably because It talks about Mozart and his history and I really love arts. Also because the writing of this book is so satisfactory and so well done. I mean I really thought Fidelio Racco was a real person. What I also love about that book is the fact that every character get to shine. Amy and Dan are the Main characters but the appearences of all the other characters are really remarkable so yeah That's it. Deserves this spot on the Top 5 for sure.

4-In Too Deep(Book Six written by Jude Watson):

Going now to the four horsemen of the apocalypse from the best books of The 39 Clues. In Too Deep It's just something so perfect It's inexplicable. Something I don't like much about In Too Deep is that when Isabel was fighting to Irina and Ian and Natalie were watching Natalie was like:Irina is going to get Shoot on the head, That's gonna be so good. Like she wanted Isabel to do this, like she would be disappointed if she didn't, like she was used to seeing this type of thing. Then, In Storm Warning she was soft like:Not blood. It's so repulsive(several authors series problem but the series is good anyway). About that book I love the start, I love the middle, I love the apex and If It wasn't for Irina's death in the end this would probably be even higher than already is. Why Irina, Jude? Also:Why Pony? Why Erasmus? Why McIntyre? Why Alistair? Why Lester? Why Natalie? Why Evan? Why everyone? Why not Jake or Cara? Back to the story Jude Watson is Just a genius for transforming a dream(or a nightmare) in Isabel Kabra and adding her to the book. I don't wanna cry today so I'm just going for the next one.

3-The Sword Thief(Book Three written by Peter Lerangis):

If this book was a part The Plastics of Mean Girls, The Sword Thief would be Karen Smith of The 39 Clues, because let's face it:Amy and Dan were really dumb of accepting an alliance with Alistair and the Kabras. Principally with the Kabras. I mean they already were kinda used to temporary alliances with Alistair but not Ian and Natalie but they should have expected that It would have been bad on the end. I mean yes they needed Ian's coin to open the cave to find the clue but they look so surprised when Ian and Natalie leaves them on the cave and they shouldn't because that was obvious that they were going to betray them in the final. So they should have accepted the alliance but being more distant to the Kabras and preparing themselves in case they try something(which was obvious they would). But at the same time, I'm glad they didn't because AMYAN IS JUST MY ENTIRE LIFE(And even a little bit of Danatalie this book is Just a masterpiece). Just like In Too Deep, I love everything about that book, except the end. And I am a Kpop fan(not the cringe obssessed type) and I really like to study about North and South Korea and their history but South Korea's caves just left me depressed. I'm gonna cry so let's change the subject.

2-Storm Warning(Book Nine written by Linda Sue Park):

I love everything about this book. Literally everything. The start, the middle, the apex and the end. I love this book mainly because Natalie got the spotlight that she deserved. I don't know why I like Natalie so much since the start. Maybe because when I started Reading the books I was eleven, just like her. And Maybe because she was pretty, rich, savage and sassy wich I always wanted to be. But there is something more that I don't know how to explain that is really relatable about Natalie even with my reality being too different from hers and this book was the confirmation I needed that Natalie would be my favorite character Forever. I Also like it because it happened on Bahamas and Jamaica(two places I really want to go in the future) and It got a lot of revelations and twists in the end(wich I love more than everything on a book). If Storm Warning was a person and slapped my face I would probably say:Thanks, Could you do that again?

1-Into The Gauntlet(Book Ten written by Margaret Peterson Haddix):

I usually don't like the endings of books because I'm sad that it's over and as all the other books were good I usually demand a lot from the endings, even more than the beginnings (for me the final impression is the one that stays, not the first). I generally like the endings but I've never looked at a ending book and said: This one overcomes all the other books. I normally like more the start or the middle books. But man Into The Gauntlet caught me off guard. DoD is already a trash ending, comparing to Into The Gauntlet, DoD(fanfiction-forced-canon) seems even worse(if That's even possible). Everything about that book It's just top-notch, high quality, god tier, flawlessly perfect. Stan Haddix. We believe in Into The Gauntlet Supremacy.

It's going to have a part 2. Bye.

[bao3bei4]

kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire 

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right. 

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one. 

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked. 

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did. 

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction. 

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere. 

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015. 

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found. 

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you. 

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom. 

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people. 

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right. 

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.  

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age. 

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible. 

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses. 

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad! 

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare). 

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever. 

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about. 

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story. 

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.) 

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf. 

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes. 

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god. 

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair. 

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah. 

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010. 

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it. 

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu. 

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video. 

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories. 

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably. 

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious. 

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to. 

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended. 

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see. 

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down. 

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not. 

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place. 

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine! 

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them. 

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.) 

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad. 

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again. 

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies. 

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

[blossom-hwa]

exo for the ask game :DD

exo is the reason I'm into kpop today - fucking KINGS, though I don't listen to them as much as before

send me a kpop group and I'll let you know if I stan!

do i already stan them?

yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

my bias + bias wrecker: suho + baekhyun/lay!! my bias jumped around a lot before I settled on suho, baek was my bias at some point but lay was always a wrecker

first time i heard of them: I heard them in 2015, I think? one of my friends was super into them and she pressured me into listening to growl, I didn't like it much

when i became a fan: a little after the above incident ^^ my other kpop friend was listening to history on the bus and I'd forgotten my earbuds so I listened with her, and literally the rest was history (pun unintended but it's a good one as far as I'm concerned)

favorite (and least favorite) title track: favorite is love me right, least favorite is power or obsession idk those two just don't vibe w me

favorite (and least favorite) b-side: I'm such a sucker for ANYTHING on the XOXO album (super old ik) or exodus!!! my favorite has to be promise though (all time favorite song). I don't have a least favorite, I just have a lot of songs (esp from their recent releases) that I just don't like? idk I don't have a specific one in mind

favorite (and least favorite) mv: favorite is probably lotto!! I really REALLY liked that one. least favorite... kokobop. idk just not my thing

favorite (and least favorite) album: favorite is XOXO or exodus, least favorite are the ones with power/obsession :/

a concept i wished they’d try: that's a good question. I have no idea. kinda want to see them go back to mama era but like. modernized? I just want them to pretend to have powers again JUST so I can cringe but I'm not evil so I wouldn't completely wish that upon them

what i like most about them: honestly. I haven't closely followed them in years but what I really loved before was the versatility of their music (like compare XOXO and exodus and then ex'act like just. wow) and their camaraderie when they had twelve members! I also adore lay and I'm very happy he seems to be in this latest comeback, his dedication to his members is really heart-warming to me :)

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[luvdsc]

tag games ;

tagging :: @eggyukhei ; @jaemericano ; @aqiaquas ; @forehead-enthusiast ; @choerrypuffs ; @latetaektalk ; @winetae ; @taeyongtime ; @nochanchu 🌼

—

TAG GAME ONE

tagged by :: @njmin thank you, lovebug! ✨

— tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

omg ok it was april 2014, and I was procrastinating on homework and scrolling through youtube. shinee’s lucifer mv was recommended for some reason, and I was intrigued, so I clicked on it. From there, it just spiraled out of control. I was blown away like there’s this one dance move where they all lined up and taemin does this hand motion so fluidly and I was like “this is it.” More shinee mvs were recommended after I clicked that one, so I kept going and watching all the other ones until I watched them all. Their music is just so different and unique, like even after all this time, I can’t find another kpop group who mimics the music style of shinee. and all their solos are absolutely god tier, too!!! they really are gonna be my first and last kpop group. shinee withstood through my stan eras for other groups. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being their fan.

I also found snsd through shinee because their mvs were recommended after I clicked lucifer too. the first one I saw is the iconic gee. taeyeon stood out to me in those mvs. her voice is so distinct, and I’ve been a fan of her ever since. She didn’t have a solo then, but I searched up all her drama osts, song features, everything because I loved her voice so much even back then. so yeah, taeyeon and shinee will forever be my faves, and I love them a lot 💓

TAG GAME TWO

tagged by :: @latetaektalk thank you, linh !! 💖

rule :: answer the ten questions and write your own!

— how are you today?

I’m doing really good! I’m enjoying my summer, and my day is pretty lax. I’ve been facetiming friends, watching chopped, making banh bao with my mom, and doing my daily cardio ✨

— what book has had the biggest impact on your life?

the princess knight by cornelia funke. my elementary school did this thing where your parents can buy a book to donate to the school library under your name for your birthday. this was the book my sister chose for me when I was in kindergarten. I loved that book; I borrowed it so many times and kept rereading it. It’s a children’s picture book about a princess who secretly learns how to joust. the king tries to give her hand in marriage to the knight who wins the competition, but she defeats them all and chooses to marry the gardener’s son who she loves 💕

— what is something you think everybody should have done once in their life?

Travel. There’s just something so wonderful about going to a new place, whether that’s halfway across the world or just the town a few states over. It’s a lovely feeling embarking on an adventure to a place unknown to you where you can meet new people, try new foods even if it’s just a random dish at a restaurant you’ve never been to, and make memories with strangers that no one back home ever has to know about. There’s just something intriguing about being able to go somewhere else and be someone else for an hour or a day or a week before you return back home.

— what story are you the most proud of and why?

on my previous blog, I wrote a fic called the universe of us, and it’s 21k+ wc. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into that fic, and although I can’t read it now without cringing, I really am super proud of myself for pulling through and writing that. The concept of it was unique, in my opinion, and I would love to rewrite it someday! 💫

on this blog, I am most proud of the dumbing down of love. that fic is personal to me because it is literally comprised of my college experiences in written format and the characters embody my friends. I wrote that over the span of 3-4 nights, and that’s the fastest I’ve ever written a fic of that length. the words just flowed so easily for that fic, and the quesadilla scene was the first thing I wrote, and I’m quite proud of that scene!! 💓

— what has made you really happy recently?

I graduated uni!!!!! 💛💛

— what is the first thing you want to do after this whole pandemic is over and it’s safe to go out again?

I want to eat sushi LOL I haven’t had it in four months, and I’m craving it so badly.... I also want to go out with my friends again! I miss being able to see them everyday and our late night shenanigans ):

— if you had to make a soundtrack/playlist based on your life, how would you call it and which songs would you include?

honestly, these are just a bunch of my favorite songs throughout my entire life. some of them don’t relate to me personally, but I remember listening them on repeat, and I still know all the lyrics to them 💘

title: cue the soundtrack of my life

songs: complicated ⋆ avril lavigne ⋮ check yes, juliet ⋆ we the kings ⋮ the way i loved you ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ a daydream away ⋆ all time low ⋮ that’s what you get ⋆ paramore ⋮ i won’t give up ⋆ jason mraz ⋮ holy ground ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ lucifer ⋆ shinee ⋮ don’t go ⋆ exo m ⋮ 1000 years ⋆ shinee ⋮ breathe ⋆ taeyeon & jonghyun ⋮ coffee ⋆ bts ⋮ you are in love ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ walk you home ⋆ nct dream ⋮ i ⋆ taeyeon ⋮ tell me what to do ⋆ shinee ⋮ mad city ⋆ nct 127 ⋮ gravity ⋆ taeyeon ⋮ blueprint ⋆ stray kids

— what is your favourite breakfast food?

omg it’s this one dish that I order every time I go to the diner near my university, and it’s a smoked salmon eggs benedict with hollandaise sauce and hash browns 🤩🤩

— how did you get into writing and is it something you would like to do as your job?

I’ve always enjoyed writing, and my teachers sent me to the young authors’ faire every year from kindergarten to 8th grade. You don’t really get to write creative stories in class when you’re older though, and I stumbled upon fanfiction, and here we are. It’s not something I want to do as my job though. Writing is simply a fun pastime and hobby for me!! If I was forced to write or profit off of it, then that’d take fun out of it ):

— did you remember to drink enough water today?

yes, I did!! I make sure to drink 6-8 large cups of water a day :’) stay hydrated!!! 🤍

my questions for you:

what’s your favorite jelly bean flavor?

if you hated your child, what name would you give them?

do you pour cereal first or milk first?

do you like pineapple on your pizza?

if you could be a celebrity for the day, who would you be and why?

what are three dealbreakers for you in a relationship?

what’s your favorite word and why?

would you rather punch your ult bias in the face full force or lick the porta potty that hasn’t been cleaned after Coachella weekend?

which song(s) would you cut out from nct’s discography?

what’s the most unique/interesting food you’ve ever eaten?

TAG GAME THREE

tagged by :: @pwarkhans ty, sweetpea! 🌸

rule :: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

[kingdomtual]

Just a fun tag thing I found to do. I’ll tag a couple people if you wanna: @smiling-yuta @lovelyjihoonie @seventeens-diamond @my-woozi-happiness

How are you feeling today? Kinda gross, but I think I’m just tired! Mentally I’m doing pretty well and hoping to get some writing done.

What is the best thing that happened in 2020 to you so far? Seeing Seventeen in January. Literally the one thing I’m holding onto so this year isn’t a total wash.

Favorite song at the moment? Adore U. I can’t stop playing it, it’s the song I play to lift my spirits and I need lots of that vibe right now.

Last movie you watched in the cinema? Avengers: Endgame. I’m not much of a movie theater person, but I figured I wouldn’t care about that movie if I didn’t see it in cinemas LOL

Favorite movie?: Probably My Annoying Brother, starring Do Kyungsoo and Jo Jung Suk. Literally gets my laughing, cringing, and crying all at the same time. The acting is beautiful. Please watch it.

Favorite TV Show? Arrested Development, but only the first 3 seasons.

TV show you’re watching currently? I have been working on finishing Itaewon Class LOL I dunno why but it takes me a while to get through dramas. Probably because I have to be emotionally prepared for every damn episode. (but I love it, totally)

Dream job? I’d love to be an interpreter. It takes years to master a language, but a dream doesn’t necessarily have to make sense, I figure. It’ll be possible, and I’m working hard on it.

What languages do you speak? English and working on Korean.

What languages do you want to learn? Currently learning Korean.

Dream vacation? I really wanna visit Japan one day, and see Jeju Island when I finally move to SK.

If you could listen to one album for the rest of your life, which one would it be? I could never listen to one album forever but LOL probably An Ode.

What song got you into Kpop? Oh my god...uhhh, I’m pretty sure it was Sorry Sorry by Super Junior. It was one of the songs off that album.

Are you currently watching Kdramas?: Mostly I’m watching Running Man, but yes. I am watching Itaewon Class. I wanna finish it so I can start Extracurricular. (I think that’s the name, I saw it the other day but I forget...)

What was you last Kdrama? The last one I finished was...Kill It. That’s a super good drama, by the way. Um, but very violent and mature themes so be wary if you’re not down with that.

Your ultimate Kpop party song that brights up your mood always? Dumb Litty by KARD. I mean idk if it brightens my mood like Adore U does, but Dumb Litty is the ultimate party song. Get down with it, fam.

Last song you listened to? Not By the Moon - Got7

What’s one thing you have most in common with your bias? Which bias would that be? I’m a multi-stan LOL uhhhh I dunno, I think my bias’ are generally the savage, goofy ones so that must be a vibe for me.

[bigseuegsobtob]

1, 5, 15, 16, 17, 18

Hihi Darlin’ heheeh it’s been awhile since I’ve seen an ask from youuuuuu~ I hope you’re doing well and “surviving” the aftermath of the Parallel concert HEHEHE 💕 💕 💕 

1. Which group have you thought about stanning, but never seem to get around to it? Most probably Seventeen? This was forever ago but Idk I can’t seem to get into stanning bands with majority of the members being younger than I am. It’s really odd. LOL 

5. Have you ever disliked a group/idol? If so, why? (You don’t have to say who it is if you’re scared of getting hate). heheeh I’ve just answered this here, so I’ll just copy & paste the same answer kay? Disliked is a really strong word hahaha I would say that I’m more indifferent to them than anything else? If I am not into their music / artistry, chances are that I am just not interested.If you’re talking about their behaviours, then yes, I have resented / disliked / loathed their actions before. For example, FT Island’s ex member Choi Jong Hoon’s actions. (Y’all know what I’m talking about).If ever there was a chance I disliked these celebrities, it has very little to do with their career but more to do with their personality / actions committed. 

15. What aspects of kpop make you cringe/feel secondhand embarrassment? Most probably rabid / crazy sasaengs or fans. I mean sasaengs are just downright disgusting but there are those delusional ones who have themselves convinced they will marry their “baby Jungkook” (for example) hahahahahah Those kinds are just.....nope. 

16. Which concepts do you love? I love really soft and soothing concepts but I think I’m more on the sentimental side so I’m okay with the melancholic love story / winter time / dark and deep, profound sadness kinda concepts hahahahaha 

17. Which concepts do you hate?I’m not into those happy candy / pop / funky / cutesy concepts which is why a lot of girl groups get the axe from me hahhaha The kinds of girl groups I like are Davichi , 2ne1 , Mamamoo...More mature stylings and musical artistry. 

18. If you could trade places with an idol, who would it be?Well, Cha Hakyeon? haahha Idk For a girl, perhaps Jessica Jung or Eunji...For boys, well I really don’t know, I don’t wanna be a boy. HAHAHAA Though admittedly it would be cool to be a guy for a day. 

🎶 Get To Know Me: KPOP Edition 🎶

[kyunsies]

hi again!! i usually flip between posting my stuff whenever and letting it rot in my files bc 1) content usually comes out @ mornings and i want to sleep 2) it's hard to gauge when people are active. + i definitely relate to "no one wants to see the same gifs" but you're right!! everyone has their own styles so it cannot be the same set unless it's reposted or smt :///

ohmygod tear was literally my first and last comeback,, i hated idol (song + mv lol) and confirmed i was out almost immediately 💀💀 (by then i'd already moved to mx) it's also funny how we stopped listening for similar reasons? i was super new to kpop + stan culture and i didn't really feel animosity twd other groups but i did Not branch out much until after i distanced from them,, v much in a little bubble. i get what you mean by the "i shouldnt feel cringe if it brought joy" but that entire period for me was a huge... yikes LMAO. changkyun in that interview.. the cutest bub 😭 that video brings me so much joy + i'm shocked at the amt of people who've said it made them become a mbb. and mx... kitten interview.. the dream.. ;--;; i could only wish for that to happen but i'd probably cry lmao. anyways!! i hope the rest of your weekend is well, goodnight!! 🌙 -🌱

LOL I FEEL THAT !!!!! first semester of uni this year (last year??) my first class on tuesdays and thursdays didn't start until like noon so when stuff for fatal love was coming out i would get the notif at like 7am and i'd be like GOD I GUESS I GOTTA GIF THAT SLKDFJKSJF it's really unhealthy sometimes like its just a damn gif set but i really cannot help myself <3 and yes !! once u have this mindset i have found that it helps make myself feel a little better ;___;

but SDLKFJ yeah ly: tear was actually one of my favorite albums by them !!! i loved idol tbh (hated the mv tho) but everything after that felt very "commercial" and not that it's bad but it's not something i'm into !!! but yes i was super new to kpop i never even joined stan twt until wonho left so i could support him there HHHH but yeah i didn't know anything about kpop then !!! but idk i was just like ...... there's more out there and i don't think i'm, like u said, getting out of my bubble or expanding my horizon !!! so i decided to move to exo, then got7, then the boyz, then nct ....... etc etc and now i'm here and monsta x has been the longest group i've stayed with and i'm so happy here i don't see myself going anywhere anytime soon !!!

and yes that interview literally changed my life forever like i'm so happy, i watch it every time i feel down :( changkyun forever on loop saying "i wanna take u home!" i just LOVE everything about that video :(

anyways, goodnight angel, sleep tight <3

[ohoshi]

okay so tbh i have only revealed my kpop love to select people in my life IRL...buuuut im working on being more open about it bc these boys give me so much laughter and joy and it's good to be excited about things!! yesterday my mom discovered kpop and i came running into her room to be like omg let me show you MY FAV GROUP NCT. she didnt seem to vibe with the songs i showed her but honestly i get that cuz sometimes for me, i listen to an NCT song and im like ehhh but then i keep listening and im like wait this song is actually so good (this has happened with kick it, limitless, maw, work it...to name a few)

omg also yes i am familiar with tsundere and anime terminology!! i do watch anime - not as much as i used to, but i still enjoy a good anime :)) some of my favs are hunterxhunter, toradora, fmab, my hero academia, anohana...wow how many am i gonna name, anyway if you dont watch a lot of anime pls feel free to disregard this paragraph and we can continue talking about kpop lmao

HAHA i love that yes taeil go pursue your dreams (winwin) i support you 💕wait i also love that rj just says stuff straightforwardly!! like i think on some show (was it weekly idol?) he literally said, yea the company wants me to have an innocent image (but i'm not)...and i think one time a saseang fan called jeno during a vlive and rj literally took the phone immediately and was like can you stop calling...go renjun! but yea i feel like during their awsaz ep doyoung was kinda scared cuz hes kinda soft lmao (not a bad thing) but i loved the chaos in their eps!!

i liked awsaz!! for me, some eps were definitely funnier than others lol but i really like the concept and it's something only nct can do! the jaehyun/jisung ep was prob my second favorite even tho i cringed a lot but in the best way possible. i would LOVE to see them continue doing awsaz with wayv members!! like the ep with winwin/jisung (and henderey/haechan hosts) was so great!! also lmao jisung is just awkward with everybody, they could literally make a whole awsaz show with just jisung 😂 (also a side note: i love how he is still the maknae even after sungchan/shotaro joined haha he will always be our NCT baby 🥺)

as for what i didnt like...dont hate me but some of the missions were a little...slow for me? like in some eps when they just take the selfies and decorate it in the book i kinda skimmed those parts 😅 i think it would be cool if they had more missions that require them to actually do things with each other (i guess kinda like icebreakers lmao even tho i personally hate icebreakers) - like in the winwin/js episode, they involved the hosts and had them do some drawing thing that was funny. but actually i guess it also depends who the hosts are, i feel like some host combinations are funnier (whether bc of their chemistry with the participants or each other) so maybe that can't really be controlled

oooh wait one of my close friends is also a taurus!! love that haha (i dont rly take horoscopes super seriously (even tho i do think im kinda a virgo) but theyre interesting to look at)

i have some svt songs in my kpop playlist (i love hug (it’s so calming) and also my my)!! i think i kinda looked into them back in like 2016 but i wasnt rly a kpop fan back then, i will check them out now cuz i love me a talented and chaotic kpop group :))

p.s. for my ss gift hehe do you have any specific things you'd want me to gif? otherwise i will do something based on our conversations (which i think makes it mildly obvious who i'm gonna gif)!! also pls forgive me my giffing skills could be better but i try my best and they are 100% certified made with love 💖

ohh i understand that! my irl friends judge me for loving kpop so much (not all of them) but, frankly, i couldn’t care less because there’s nothing wrong with loving kpop so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my mom, however, puts up with me and my kpop obsession very well tbh she does pay attention when i show her their stages and songs and even some funny content~ and so far she loves jaehyun, minghao(svt) and jisoo(bp) the most (all 3 for their visuals lmaoo) dhagfdshgad as far as the music goes, she reeeeeally loves from home 🥺 (tho i really love those overproduced hype songs, so for me it’s not hard to vibe with them right from the start lmao and esp kick it and maw those were love at first sight! here’s a funny story related to kick it: as you already know i’m a dancer and bc i immediately fell in love w kick it i learned the whole choreo for that song, usually i only know chorus or the dance points, and my mother watched me and she said i was really good i could fit well in 127 ghdafgds ahhh what an ego boost thanks mom everyone should have you as their mom tbh)

no way!!! you love anime!! aaa i’m excited now!!! when i was younger i watched a lot of anime and i mean a LOT; i’ve seen everything you listed here! lmao not my proudest moment... i also really love hxh!!!! i also remember loving code geass, tengen toppa gurren lagann, neon genesis evangelion and even the gundam series (i’m a simple person i see mecha and i fall in love immediately lmao even my fav cartoon of all time is the one i watched when i was like 5-7?? it was a korean manhwa, hamos the green chariot, which is also about the big robots djahsd)  + all the shoujos lmao (nana best shoujo ever) i also really loved kuroko no basuke and fairy tail????? and all the popular ones (ie naruto, bleach, pokemon etc)

ohh i know that moment when he called the sasaeng out for bothering jeno hgafdagjdgah ICONIC we stan a legend 🤧✊

yeah i agree that some episodes were funnier than the others and some missions were just boring  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but it’s okay i guess majority of the ep is still interesing!! omg same!! i love jisung he is so precious and it would be amazing if he just stayed the maknae of nct until the end! (highly unlikely i guess but a girl can dream) they could definitely make a spin off awsaz - jisung and nct and it would be so funny lmaoooo and winwin is an awkward cutie as well so!! 🥰🥰 

>they involved the hosts and had them do some drawing thing that was funny; my thoughts exactly!!!! it would be so great if they keep involving hosts lmao it would be funnier and more interesting; and yeah some hosts combinations were definitely better than the others (lowkey disappointed that jaemin didn’t get the chance to be the host lmao wonder how would that look) i think that one of the reasons dy/rj and js/jh eps were so good is bc markhyuck and cl/jw were amazing hosts lmao

ahh me neither!!! i’m not too serious about horoscope, i used to read about astrology for the fun of it lmao and yeah taurus and virgo is a great combination so !!!!

AHHH I’M SO GLAD YOU LOVE HUG it’s one of my favorite songs 🥺 do it santa you won’t regret!! their music is soooo good!!!!! and the performances are next level 

p.s. you can gif whatever you want!! and i’m sure it’ll be great! <3 don’t be to pressured, even if you can’t make it it’s completely okay, i understand, you don’t have to! these conversations we’ve been having are the best gift already! i really cherish them! 🤗💚

p.p.s AHH I LOVE MFAL TOO (shocking) and ikr??? THEY GREW UP SO MUCH 😭 but esp jisung???? he reeeally changed omg!!! and chenle!!! now they look all grown up i’m 🤧 emotional

[vanteslens]

I mean for what it’s worth with these shitty interviews, i just keep thinking about how they never needed any of this type of publicity to begin with in order to achieve their current status they literally sold out every single show they had in the US THEN they started getting noticed by these uglies after billboards they don’t need any help in getting recognition imo it just sucks because they’re trapped doing this boring interviews instead of having FUN

Also same anon— but i’m more content with the shows they were invited to because those people are like... actually good at their jobs and know what they’re doing because they NEED to make their shows fun since they have an audience and are recognized by mainstream US media consumers (im talking about ellen and corden) I genuinely don’t think these bad interviews are being noticed by anyone other than the fans or people who know about kpop tbh 

LONG POST ALERT 📢⚠

even tho those interviews are cringe worthy and bladly planned i understand why they are doing this and why they “““can’t””” say no. they are probably the first kpop band to have so much western spotlight on them (if i’m wrong pls correct me) so this publicity isn’t just for getting more fans. all those interviews are to make connections and to make a good impression on america so more artist and companies could invest on them and kpop industry. don’t get me wrong, they want to please their fans and get new ones but we all know that there’s a lot between the lines.

besides, if they denied to be interviewed, america would definetely portray them in a bad light even if that wasn’t the case. also they can’t predict the horrible questions that they would be asked all the time. bts just want to make a good impression in a foreign country and good connections. i may not like some of the people they are doing collabs (ch*********s) or think that bts is more talented than those people but i can’t deny that /sadly/ they get more spotlight than bts just because they are in hollywood. i think ‘closer’ is very generic but they broke a record, i’ll give that to them. plus they got to collab w artist that they admire because of those interviews so at least it wasn’t a total loss of their time and yes, people are still watching them.

sadly, this is about pr (public relationships) and bts know that all eyes are on them rn this is why they are working hard to make a good impression. that was the same thing w kard here on brazil, but worse bc they were on the begining of their careers so they had to be even more passive w the s*** they had to go throught... that was a whole mess. i’m not a kard stan but it was very unfair.

i’m also happy that get to perform because their work speaks louder than anything! when america watch them perform yall gonna see it, all this western artists will beg to collab w them. on the downside, the leeches will be there so i’ll pray so bts will not be scammed by those people. it’s all gonna be over by monday anyways lol