#is this ugly enough to be a meet ugly?
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indulge me? — gojo satoru
synopsis you and gojo go on an overnight mission and it goes wrong in every way
contents so. much. pining. (2.8k words of it!?), one bed trope, whipped!gojo, ooc gojo, completely self indulgent, a lot of cardiovascular talk, they’re first years in this!
notes first time i’ve written in AGES. sorry :3 ps this is a little snippet from a satosugu x reader series im thinking about starting. thoughts?
(edit: i wrote a part ii)
Gojo Satoru was born blessed. From birth and to death he will always be honored. It wasn't his fault that the Heavens delighted in him. So when Yaga had announced that he and you would be sharing an overnight mission to Kyushu, he nearly leapt in joy (lucky him)!
You, on the other hand, were less than thrilled to find out that you were going to be traveling alone with Gojo Satoru. For two whole days. It was a death sentence.
“Make sure to text me, so I know you're not dead.” Shoko looks between you and Gojo. Either your head will implode as a result of Gojo, or he is gonna be on the receiving end of your wrath. Shoko can’t wait to see which.
“Do take pictures, I heard the onsens there are incredible.” Suguru slyly adds. Satoru perks up at his comment. The two of them share a knowing look before Gojo speaks up.
“Wanna take a dip with me once we get there, [Name]?” He looks into your eyes, his lips are quirked upwards like he’s up to no good (which he is). “I promise I won’t take a peek!” He winks.
“Keep fantasizing, Gojo.”
“Oh I will.” He hums happily. The smile on his lips is kind of cute, you decide. Just a little.
— — — — — — —
Kurokawa, you come to find out is a very small town in Kyushu. So when people start to go missing, the entire town falls into shambles. Before your trip, Yaga had made it known the enemy you’d be facing.
“A common denominator of the missing persons is that they were all young women.” He had warned you and Gojo. “It’s an unidentified curse, but I trust that the two of you will be able to handle it.”
Three missing girls. All under the age of 25. Two of which were locals, one being a tourist.
The moment you arrive on the island of Kyushu, your guard is higher than ever. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Gojo.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of some horny curse,” He looks down at you as the two of you make your way down a small street to your ryokan. Kurokawa was a traditional town, its pride resting on the old culture causing it to be untouched by modern architecture.
Unamused by his nonchalant attitude, you decide to ignore his vulgar comment, “What grade curse do you think we’re up against?”
He makes a noise to show that he’s thinking. “Does it really matter? It’ll be no match for me either way.”
You roll your eyes, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, we still have to figure out what happened to the victims.”
“I don’t see why that’s necessary, but okay.” Your snow haired peer dismisses. It makes you a bit envious that he doesn’t have to ever feel fear for his life. Must be nice.
The two of you arrived at your designated ryokan soon enough, it was a small town after all. Gojo leads the way with you following right after. You can’t discern any cursed energy in the building, but you still make a mental note to ask Gojo about it after you both are situated.
An elderly lady in an orange kimono stood behind the desk, smiling at you and you returned it back happily.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen a young couple here.” She says. That’s right, with the recent disappearance of young girls, there would be a sudden decrease of tourism around this part of town. “You certainly are a beautiful match!”
You gratefully accept her compliment, “Thank you, but we’re not–”
“Thanks granny!” Gojo wraps a strong arm around your shoulder. “I don’t know how I even managed to win her over!” There’s a wide grin on his face that makes your eye twitch. Leave it to him to tell people the two of you were together. Not only that but he totally disrespected the old lady with his informal talk!
“Unhand me, you!” You forcefully whisper at him, while trying to unwrap yourself from his hold. His arm does not budge even as you try to push it off. What the hell is this boy eating? Gojo chuckles with the old lady while you struggle.
“My, the two of you remind me so much of my husband and I in the days of our youth,” She sighs dreamily. Her age must be interfering with her memory because there was nothing inherently romantic going on between you and Gojo. “How long will you be staying here?”
“Only one night,” Gojo decides that he has tormented you enough and lets you go. He slides her his card and she pulls out something from the old wooden counter she stands behind.
A single key.
Your eyes bug out. Gojo’s eyebrows raise. You laugh nervously, face feeling warmer than it was thirty seconds ago.
“There must have been a misunderstanding. We need two rooms, ma’am.” You hold up two fingers to emphasize your point.
The smile on the old woman’s face falls, “I’m afraid I cannot do that.” Your jaw drops.
“Huh? Why not?” You press on further. Surely they could not have been booked out of all of their rooms. Tourism is at an all time low after the strange disappearances.
“I’m sure you’ve heard of the strange disappearances in the area. It’s a miracle the two of you have even decided to stay here, which I am very grateful for. That is why I must repay you back by ensuring your safety. Otherwise I must ask you to leave and stay in the next town because I will not allow you to endanger yourself so carelessly.”
You blink. Neighboring town? That was hours away. The curse was here in Kurokawa. You can’t afford to jeopardize a mission just because of your own feelings.
Gojo’s hand is halfway to the key, but he waits for your approval. You sigh.
“It’s fine, we can do one. Thank you.” You bow your head. She smiled apologetically as she handed Gojo the key. Gojo, unbothered by the revelation, whistles happily as the lady leads the way to your suite.
— — — — — — —
operation satoru x [name]!!!!
Gojosatowu added getosugu, shoko.ieiri
Gojosatowu You wont believe it!!! shoko.ieiri What the hell is this gc And what the hell is Operation satoru x [name]? getosugu how come [name] isn’t in this? Gojosatowu Ladies, ladies, one question at a time please getosugu Expect a forehead flick for that comment shoko.ieiri Stfu and just answer the questions Gojosatowu alright alright [name] and i are sharing a room in kyushu!! i may come out of this mission a changed man. shoko.ieiri someone make sure [name] is still alive and well Gojosatowu I dont appreciate your lack of faith in me >:( shoko.ieiri Keep a six feet distance from her at all times perv Gojosatowu I might have to for my own sanity. What do you think she wears to bed? shoko.ieiri You disgust me sometimes getosugu Only sometimes? shoko.ieiri Let me correct myself. You disgust me. Gojosatowu Im feeling the love :(
“What are you giggling to yourself about?” You place a hand on your hips as you watch Gojo smile at his flip phone.
“Oh don’t you worry about it,” He closes it. Weird. “What’s the living situation?”
You sigh. “Despite its traditional arrangement, there is a bed.”
Gojo perks up. “Yeesh I’m glad! If I had to sleep on the floor my back would be all sore right on a mission. Y'know how annoying that is?”
You suck your teeth. “Allow me to rephrase myself. There is only one bed.”
There is an awful silence in the room, save for your erratically beating heart. Of course the old woman decided to place you in a couple’s suite.
“Heh.” Gojo chortles happily. “Wow, this must be a divine sign from God Himself. I mean, who are we to ignore this?”
“Don’t start,” You hold out an accusatory finger at him. “I’m gonna go request an extra futon.”
He pouts, “Don’t be like that, sharing a bed with me can’t be that bad.”
“I’m willing to bet otherwise.” You walk past him. The white haired boy watches you go like a sad puppy.
— — — — — — —
You took your time getting an extra futon, using it as an excuse to get all of the nervousness out of your system of sharing the same room as Gojo Satoru. Sharing a room with a boy was already bad enough, but Gojo? Your heart skipped a beat (out of nervousness, you insist!).
By the time you make it back to the room, the lights are out. You assume that Gojo decided to go to sleep early. You don’t blame him. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day of hunting for the curse rampaging Kurokawa.
The only light source in the room is coming from the bathroom. You sigh. The idiot must’ve forgotten to turn it off. Nonetheless, you were gonna go get unready either way so you make your way to the half open door.
On the sink is a complimentary toothbrush that you help yourself to. You apply some paste and–
There is a sound of something sliding shut from behind you. You look up at the mirror. Standing behind you was Gojo. Wet. And naked.
“Oh my gosh!” You spit out your toothpaste and ran out of the room. How did you fail to see that Gojo was in the restroom? You blame it on the sliding doors separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom. Oh my gosh. Your face feels like it’s on fire. He has a six pack. And why does his stupid hair look like that when it's wet? Your heart was beating at an abnormal rate. This is so inappropriate.
Shortly after your freakout, Gojo steps out of the bathroom. There was no way you could face him now.
“Aw, don't be so shy now. It’s not like this will be the last time you’ll see me like this.” Gojo stands in the doorway. There is a towel wrapped around his waist, still leaving him indecent in your eyes.
“I don’t like what you’re insinuating Gojo! And lock the door when you’re in the restroom you creep!” You look anywhere but him.
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault, was it? You were taking so long I thought you left me here alone.” You can practically hear him pouting. “Either way, you were the one checking me out.”
Your eyes widen, “I was not checking you out! Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Don’t feel ashamed, this can all be yours,” He gestures down to his body.
“You freak.” you blanch.
He winks at you.
This was going to be a long night.
— — — — — — —
It takes you about half an hour to calm down from the bathroom catastrophe. By now, you’re situated in your futon while Gojo is tucked on the bed. If you had to guess, it’d be nearing midnight around now. You just need to close your eyes and get some sleep before your mission tomorrow.
Except you can’t sleep.
Every time you close your eyes, your mind betrays you and an image of Gojo post shower illustrates itself in your mind. And it doesn’t help that he sleeps shirtless. You seriously need your mind cleansed.
That wasn’t your only issue. The room was sub zero. Who knew traditional ryokans had such advanced air conditioning systems? All you could hear was the air conditioning machine overworking itself. You could even argue that it was colder than Shoko’s morgue. And your sleep shirt and shorts were doing little to help insulate you.
“Wanna come cuddle with me?” The last person you wanted to hear from breaks the silence. You pretend to be asleep. “I know you’re not asleep! My six eyes tell me that you’re shivering.” Busted.
“I am not cuddling with you.” You stare at the ceiling above you, arms crossed. How could he even propose such an idea? Has he no shame?
“Well I can’t face the old granny here if my girlfriend ends up dead by freezing!”
“I am not your girlfriend, Gojo. Nor will I die.”
“That’s not what she thinks. Plus we have a mission tomorrow, so I can’t have you getting sick on me now.”
“I’ll be fine, Gojo. Now go to sleep.”
“I run hot when I sleep, y’know. Let me be your personal heater.” You don’t have to see his face to know that he’s grinning.
“I refuse.”
“Well I refuse your refusal.”
You blink.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Now c'mon,” He pats the spot next to him. “I’ll even make a wall in between us.”
You hear the bedsheets shuffle and you have to sit up to see that Gojo was stacking two pillows in the middle of the bed to prove his point. You’re nearly certain that the only thing you’ll be catching soon is a headache if you keep up with his antics. It was a tempting offer, one that you would surely accept if it wasn’t Gojo Satoru.
“Gojo, I—”
“...Please?” His voice is softer than you have ever heard it. It was unfair how Gojo was making it harder and harder to reject his offer.
A silent moment passes by.
“...Fine,” You reluctantly get up from your pathetic excuse of a futon. “But no funny business!” You warn him.
You see Gojo perk up from the bed. He looks at you with expectant eyes, “You got it!” He gives you a thumbs up.
Whatever. If Gojo knew what was best for him, he wouldn’t try anything. You take in a deep breath before turning to face the opposite direction of where Gojo laid.
“Good night [Name],” You hear Gojo whisper. You sigh.
“Yeah, yeah, goodnight Gojo.”
Eyes closed, you pray a silent prayer that everything will be fine for the remainder of the mission.
— — — — — — —
Ever since Gojo was young, his body has been used to getting little amounts of sleep. Unsurprisingly, that caused him to have a natural alarm. It was always annoying whenever he woke up at the crack of dawn on a day when he didn't need to, but luckily for him, today it proved to be a blessing. There was an unfamiliar warmth radiating onto his body. Satoru opens his eyes.
He thinks he feels all of his six eyes widen when he feels himself wrapped around another body.
There you were, in all your beauty, lying fast asleep. In his embrace. Soft snores were escaping your mouth and there were stray hairs in your face. Did he mention how beautiful you looked sleeping? He might have to ask Shoko about heart disease because of how fast his heart was beating.
Unfortunately for him, you also seemed to be drifting away from dreamland and back to reality. Your eyes flutter and your eyebrows furrow. Gojo takes this to his advantage and does the worst thing he can think of; pretend to be asleep.
When you wake up, your mind is still hazy from the good night’s rest you had gotten, but not hazy enough to realize that your body was tangled with another’s. And you’re pretty sure the pillow you had been laying on last night was not this hard. You try to delude yourself into believing that this is all a dream, but the effects of your sleep were fading.
It takes all the strength in you to summon the courage to open your eyes. To your horror, you were firmly wrapped in Gojo’s arms and your legs were intertwined.
“What the hell?” You pull yourself away from him. On the floor below the bed laid the two pillows that Gojo had set up as a makeshift wall. You stare at them utter shock.
“No, don’t go, I’ll freeze to death,” Gojo whines, miraculously waking up. You glare at him.
“Explain to me what just happened or I swear Gojo, I’m going to–” You try to threaten him, but you can’t seem to formulate anything.
Unlike you, Gojo looked unbothered by the sudden turn of events. He even looked pleased. There was a lopsided smile on his face as he sighed, “What can I say, I guess you subconsciously want me after all.”
"I do not—"
“But if I had to guess, I’d say the room got too cold and we most likely cuddled for warmth unconsciously.” He shrugs it off like it was no big deal. You note that his hair is tousled from the night before.
You leave the warm bed you and Gojo had made. His theory was probably true, meaning it was neither of your faults. You purse your lips.
“I suppose that makes sense. I apologize for overreacting, I guess I was under the impression that we had done something lewd last night.” With that comment, you make your way to the bathroom to freshen up both your mind and body.
You don’t end up seeing how red Gojo’s face got. It was foreign to feel all the blood rising to his cheeks. He takes one of his hands to slap it over his eyes before chuckling to himself. Yeah, he definitely knows why he likes you.
All of a sudden Gojo feels like he’s on top of the world. For you, it was just a moment of weakness.
┊⋆。˚. ੈ ┊
Extra notes:
gojo wished he and you got to go to the onsen together.
gojo also regretted not taking a photo of you sleeping soundly in his arms. it would’ve been his new wallpaper.
for the remainder of the trip, gojo was at an all time high, successfully locating and exorcising the curse in less than an hour.
#i’d like to think they had a meet ugly that made him fall head over heels for [name]#[name] also believes her sole purpose on this earth is to humble him hehe#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#gojou satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojou satoru x y/n#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#i feel like i didnt make gojo mean enough. maybe next time#remember spring days!au
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Blue hair, blue eyes, blue lights
Jinx x fem!reader / modern AU
summary: The chances of a blue-haired girl being chased by the cops and hopping in my car, simply yelling “Drive!” are low, but never zero.
author’s note: It’s my first time publishing a Jinx one-shot of mine, I hope you enjoy! This is a relatively new blog, so if anyone wants to become mutuals I’m definitely open to the idea! :)
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Fourteen days.
A mere two weeks stand between me and move-in day for my freshman year of college. In other words, summer break is slowly coming to an end, and I’ve done fuck all to make it memorable.
I can feel life passing me by as I watch like a bystander. Usually, the clock is my enemy—a constant reminder of my youth running out, and, shit, I’m too young to feel that way. This time, it serves as a way to free me from the shackles of the evening shift as a front desk worker at our local gym.
The clock strikes midnight, and, like a modern-day Cinderella, I jump up from my seat and make a beeline for the exit, hurriedly clocking out. I simultaneously greet and say goodbye to the night shift going in, already halfway through the small yet relatively empty parking lot. The smell of sweaty ‘gym bros’ is long forgotten as the breeze engulfs me, my dirty sneakers thudding on the concrete. The rust on my beat-up jeep shines in the moonlight as I approach—so seductive, I snicker to myself. I toss my duffel bag in the trunk, hop behind the wheel, and start the engine. I take this moment to commence my connect-phone-to-car-or-die-trying mission and thank the universe for its successful outcome. I browse a bit through the plethora of playlists before settling on the usual one, the sound of Arctic Monkeys filling the space as I leave the parking lot.
I don’t want to go home—not yet, at least—so I settle for a late-night drive. The cookie-cutter, upper-class houses pass me by as I mindlessly cruise through the clean streets—a stark contrast to my neighborhood, where you either learn to stick up for yourself or go home crying to your mama. A place where there is more sewage sludge than trees. A place where I grew up and one I learned to love.
In the midst of it all, I don’t notice the particularly nasty bump on the road that makes my song abruptly cut off. I take a right, pulling over in an alley with an annoyed groan as I resort to phase two, also known as connect-phone-back-to-car-before-I-impulsively-crash, of my initial mission. As I fiddle with the settings, showing my inner cheek no mercy as my teeth dig into their feast, a hissing and spritzing sound comes through my open window.
I think I’m imagining things at first, that post-shift fatigue surely getting the best of me, but I spot the source of the sound rather quickly: a figure, hidden almost out of sight between the fancy houses, switching between various colors of spray paint as she defaces the picture-perfect facade with her graffiti. The sheer speed of her actions makes it look like she’s juggling.
How do I know it’s a girl? Well, although she is wearing a hat to shield her face from any surveillance cameras, a neck warmer up to her nose, and a black, oversized tracksuit already covered in pink paint splotches, her disguise was blown the moment she decided to leave her blue, ankle-length, twin braids out. I twist my neck and reach over the dashboard to try and get a better look at her work. I can barely make out the shape of a green monkey’s face before moving on to the next element. ‘Get ji-’
My reading is interrupted by the sound of sirens piercing the air and blue lights illuminating the area. Instinctively, I turn my headlights off and duck, watching the girl as she hastily packs the cans into her backpack. I swear I can see her eyes twinkle with excitement as she takes one last glance at her—presumably—finished artwork and takes off running through the gardens. Her faint giggle reaches my ears, and a bewildered smile graces my features. I wanted fun, and now it’s right in front of me. I definitely couldn’t get a clearer sign than this.
I observe as one of the cops chases after her as the other drives away, seemingly trying to cut her off. Lightbulb moment. I put the car into gear and waste no time following them from the comfort of the dark alleys, reaching the mysterious girl first through the shortcuts. I catch her contemplating her next move and, without hesitation, quickly flash my high beams at her twice. This seems to grab her attention, and I signal for her to get in with a simple nod, tapping the car door as confirmation.
To my surprise, she actually runs over and hops in the backseat, her back lying flat as she takes a swift peek through the window, and holy shit, I didn’t think that she actually would.
“Drive!” she yells through her panting, and I do. I feel my heart beating wildly against my ribcage as the blue lights appear once again in my rearview mirror. Don’t fuck this up, I think before taking a sharp left. I hear her elated squeals as I visualize the district’s roads and plan the perfect getaway.
Right.
Right, once again.
Left.
Straight down the street.
Sharp right.
I can hear the sirens getting closer as I speed through the familiar routes. It doesn’t matter that I know this area like the back of my hand; the cops probably do, too. There is only one thing left to try, and, albeit risky, it should work. They hadn’t spotted my car yet, and we were quickly approaching a busy intersection—the perfect distraction.
The tires squeak as I harshly pull into an empty driveway, turning the engine off in hopes of blending in.
“What the hell are you doing?!” the blue-haired girl grumbles with brooding eyes. I don’t reply. Instead, I shush her as I grab her waist and roll her off the seat, pushing her into the legroom before ducking underneath the steering wheel. We fall silent, holding our breaths in as the police car passes us by. I watch as they get lost in the dense traffic, a sigh of relief escaping me as I throw my head back. I climb into my seat again and take a peek at the tagger in the back, confusion crossing my features as I watch her stuff her face with candy. My candy. “Hefty stash you got back there.” Her mouth twists at the sour taste of a Warhead she picked. She seems completely unfazed by this whole situation.
I notice that she had discarded her hat and neck warmer and take the opportunity to get a better look at her: blue eyes matching her hair, light freckles splattered across her straight nose and rosy cheeks, pouty lips, her dark and expressive brows… She truly is breathtaking. I feel a blush creep up my face as she climbs over the console, wiggling her way into the passenger seat. She takes her hoodie off, revealing her black tank top, and fuck me, she has tattoos.
She faces me with a curious look herself, seemingly analyzing me too. Her gaze is difficult to decipher as her eyes trail over my figure, and I stiffen. She shoots me a knowing smile before throwing her hands around my neck and placing a kiss on my cheek. “You’re a lifesaver, toots,” she muses into my ear. The pleasant smell of paint and bubble gum hits my nose making me lick my lips. “Name’s Jinx, by the way. Stands for Jinx,” she cackles to herself, drawing her lower lip between her teeth awaiting my introduction.
I blink a couple of times, realizing how silent I’ve been throughout this whole ordeal. I can get awkward, sure, but I’m not timid, so I muster up the courage and consciously relax, trying to project a nonchalant attitude. “I’m Y/N.” I shoot her a smile of my own.
“Y/N. Hmm…” Jinx gives an approving hum as she repeats after me, my name rolling off her tongue like honey. “What made you help little ol’ me?” New observation: she’s a teaser.
“I need some excitement in my life,” I answer truthfully and she perks up with a spark in her eyes.
“Toots, you’ve just made friends with the perfect candidate to help you with that.” Her giddy attitude returns as she beams at me.
“We’re friends, huh?” I tease at her choice of words, my eyebrows raised in a cocky manner.
“Sure we are! I feel like running from the cops together is the perfect bonding experience, don’t ya?” She gives me a once-over before her mouth curves into a smirk. “Unless you want to be more than friends. That could work, too.” She winks. Her straightforwardness should make me turn crimson, but instead, it makes my confidence grow. I give a low chuckle as I shake my head in disbelief.
“Tell you what,” I begin, starting the engine and trying to connect my phone back to the car for the third time already, “let me get you home safely, and we’ll see what tomorrow brings to our friendship. Deal?” I extend my hand toward her, and she ponders my proposition. I can practically see the cogs turning in her head, her facial expressions jumping from sour to doubtful, as if she were battling her thoughts before settling on a satisfied grin.
Her soft hand reaches mine in a princess handshake, and I try not to look at her manicured nails for too long. “Deal.” The blue-haired girl snatches the phone out of my hands, adding her number to my contact list and sending a quick text to herself. Just when I think she’s giving it back, she picks a song, and I hear Arabella playing through the speakers. How fitting.
As I leave the stranger’s driveway, I sense her shuffling in the passenger seat, throwing her legs out the window. She puts her head on my lap freely, toying with the colorful charms on my keychain. In the spur of the moment, I gingerly brush her bangs behind her ear, revealing her side profile. Her gaze catches mine, and I see her eyes soften before I turn mine on the road again.
Jinx tells me her address, and I realize how close to me she lives—the perfect circumstances. I feel her lightly bobbing her head to the music as her left cheek strokes my thigh, her fingers tracing mine as they sit on the gear stick. Her demeanor feels different from the badass tagger who willingly hopped in a stranger’s car. She looks peaceful and content now.
My shoulders slump in disappointment as I park outside her house. She clicks her tongue and lazily lifts her head from the comfort of my lap. She looks around the empty streets of her neighborhood and hums, her curious eyes now shifting to mine. As we take each other in, I can’t help but gravitate toward her—her presence feels almost intoxicating, and I don’t want to part ways just yet. To my surprise, she copies my actions. She’s so close I can feel her minty breath mingle with mine. Instinctively, my gaze drops to her lips as she tentatively licks them. I let out a faint sigh, and she slowly closes the distance. I can hear my heartbeat as I wait for our lips to meet.
But they never do. “I don’t kiss on a first date,” she murmurs in my ear, and my face flushes. Jinx pulls away as she flashes me a toothy grin, and before I can even react, she’s already skipping to her front door, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. Wha-? When did she grab her stuff? I stare in disbelief as she turns around, her braids flailing behind her. “Let’s see what tomorrow brings,” she teases and blows me a kiss before disappearing into the dark hallway of her home.
Fourteen days.
Give me two weeks to make her mine.
╰┈➤ sequel – ‘Fourteen days’
#arcane#arcane netflix#arcane league of legends#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader#jinx#jinx arcane#jinx league of legends#jinx arcane x reader#jinx x reader#jinx x fem!reader#jinx x female reader#jinx arcane x fem!reader#jinx arcane x female reader#jinx x f!reader#jinx x y/n#jinx x you#jinx arcane x y/n#jinx arcane x you#jinx league of legends x reader#lgbtq#female reader#modern au#alternate universe#meet ugly#is this enough tags
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i love that the murder time trio all have dangerous little greetings. horror has his little hand drill thing. killer puts a knife up his sleeve and then does a little switcharoo. dust INSTINCTIVELY shoots whoever he sees with a bone. no greeting whatsoever. so just imagine how things go on a first meeting or whatever. immediately horror and killer have to dodge bones from dust and horror's like hey wtf man. mildly irritated but he just met these guys so he's willing to forgive. he's not gonna lose his cool in front of these two random ass guys even though one just tried to kill him. killer just has that dumbass smile on his face like always (but he was intrigued when dust did that. like who tries to kill someone on first sight?? he's curious now :3)
and then theyre all just standing together and staring for a moment and horror sticks out his hand. killer takes the bait but then he just points a knife to horror's stolen eye once he realizes that he got duped and his other hand is now currently being drilled into. dust didn't shake either of their hands because he could see the drill and tell that killer had something off about him in general. but he does give a tiny smile when he sees the state that the two r in rn with the drill and knife. it's an eensy bit funny in his eyes
least violent mtt interaction
#overall?? first good impression on all their parts#except horror because he doesn't like to get threatened or risk dying#but he gets over it (he never does)#i'm at that stage of mtt fan where i cant afford to ignore phantom paps anymore and leave him out from the hc#immediately once dust saw the other two paps commented on how ugly they were#dust must have the strength of fucking Hercules or something because like#phantom papyrus probably drops some of the most hilarious bangers that only he can hear and he just CANNOT laugh or else he'll look dumb#i wouldnt last a day in dusts shoes if phantom paps said shit like that. i'd die of holding back laughter#how many off hand comments does paps make he just has to let out his laughs in private#violence is sooooo funny to them they wish they could throw the other 2 into a volcano#triglycercule will you ever run out of mtt ideas??? i dunno......#as long as im alive i can find a way to make my life about the mtt#this post was written august 22 still a peak idea tho LMAO#the phantom papyrus making outrageous comments thingy is funny enough to be its own post HOLD ON LMAO#listen this didnt happen in my mtt fic LITERALLY about them meeting but it did in another universe TRUST TRUST TRUST#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#i'm so eepy....... i need to stay awake................#still have 70 soon to be 71 drafts left in my loaded gun we WILL survive through the winter if i eat one draft every day
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#okay but reading this Belloc essay on Austen really made something click in my mind#and it’s because of something he said#which is that women care more about what men think of them generally#(as a general rule. not all the time. etc.)#and men care more about the opinion of the one woman they care about#like women do care (as a first instinct at least) what every man she meets thinks of her#but men are mostly indifferent. until they’re NOT.#which makes women more vulnerable to a greater number of people#but men are MORE painfully vulnerable to the woman whose opinion they care about#and I don’t actually know that that vulnerability only extends to a woman they are attracted to/feel romantic feelings for#I think if they just think well of you as a person you (a woman) have a lot of power over them#which is sooooo interesting and makes so much sense!!!! and is something I’ve sort of been dancing around with teaching#like. a lot of the boys I teach come to care about what I think about them#which doesn’t mean they all have a crush on me. though that step can be super easy and super small#hence the need for the boundaries of steel etc. but it does mean that they care what I think about them!#and I’ve always felt that instinctively and felt that I had to be so gentle with them because the power to crush them is mine if I so choose#don’t let me overstate it. it doesn’t happen all the time or anything close to it. but the thing about me being a teacher is that#they are forced to know me not just in a surface-level way. simply because I spend so much time with them#and talk to them a lot!#ANYWAY. enough about me but yeah this hit me so hard and of course exceptions exist#and/or endless variations on this exist because people are unique and surprising and also everything is changing all the time#etc. etc. but there is something to this I think! and you know what#it’s so interesting because that base-level instinct for women (allowing it to be a thing I mean) can be grown out of#I have trained myself out of/maturity has helped me leave behind that immediate female instinct#of being hurt at the idea that this random waiter (for example) is indifferent towards me. I’ve come to accept it#the instinct is still there!!! because imo women are always scanning and searching and sizing up. and also we are so open to being won over#if that makes sense? which is why insta comments complaining about how only good looking men get away with things like. PLEASE.#there are so many medium-ugly men who get married. it’s the average because the average woman is prettier than the average man#(this is not an insult) women CAN be and usually are so open to being surprised. won over. moved by the simple fact that a guy likes them#and men are not like that. but my point is: men don’t grow out of caring if they care. when they care they care sooooooo much. anyways yeah
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Drawing challenge:
Stop to antagonise ugly people in your art.
#everytime I see a IA bro representation#it's a fact neckbeard guy#when the truth is#I HAVE MEET AND TALK TO IA BRO IRL#(has part of my job)#they are the most#normal and rancid white cis man#with 0 depth#yet#everytime people depoct an antagonist to their life#he is#fat#ugly#poorly dress#with#facial hair#glasses#in a#fedora#or#tong#crocks#like you know ugly people get#bully#enough#right ?#attack the#cis white male#rent over#thought
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'til we meet again
Junimir lore drop below
Vitimir and Juniper met -once- as kids. It was a quick encounter during IFWOT/HECK. Vit was backed into a corner getting bullied, but Juniper saw this and managed to deescalate the situation and get the other kid to leave. June decided to stick around Vit in case they came back. Being the shy kid that he is, Vitimir didn't say anything, just sitting awkwardly waiting until Terra announces the last challenge. But Juniper being a total chatterbox tries to start a conversation. They see that Vit doesn't have anything better to do, so they offer to paint his nails to break the silence. Vitimir of course too shy to say no, let's them do it. This small moment meant a lot to Vitimir as a kid. They never experienced an act of kindness like that from a stranger before. There was no love at first sight between them, it just started with a kid wanting to do something nice for someone else just because. It meant more to Vitimir than it did Juniper at the time. Vitimir still thinks of it to this day especially now that they're working alongside Juniper, but June doesn't realize Vit is the same kid from that day, so it's never brought up.
#toh#the owl house#vitimir#vitmir#toh oc#potions coven head#illusion coven head#coven heads#juniper jazz#junimir#ocs#iggy's art#cheap ugly post as an excuse to get this shit out there finally 👍#giving unnecessary lore as to why vit paints their nails uuhhhh 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡#okay but their first meeting is kinda like. when youre at the park as a kid and meet another kid and you become best friends for the day#but then you both go home and that’s it#and even though you never meet them again it's still a fond memory and you wonder where they are now#IT'S KINDA LIKE THAT EXPERIENCE A LOT OF PEOPLE HAD AS KIDS except!! theyre lucky enough to have crossed paths again as adults :)
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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Tomorrow might be my last day at this place, they fucking hate me heresjsjs
#racist as hell man#my manager mentioned that I wasnt ‘intimidating’#enough and one of the other white managers was like ‘haha let’s get [redacted] to work the pool lol’ as a joke during the ugly secret work#meeting that they had behind my back to the 8 months pregnant black concierge#going on about how ‘she’s REALLY intimidatinG LOL-‘#LIKE OH MY… god!??! and she mentioned that all of their white asses laughed in her face about that#so… even if it was a joke it was racist af and micro aggressive/antiblack and also…. you’d really see it fit to have a pregnant black woman#sitting at the pool babysitting rich white ppl at the pool for 8 hours straight in the hot sun like it’s normal bro#these people do not like black ppl here and only view us as the help/labor#they do the same to the Hispanics as well but they don’t complain or make a fuss it seems and most of them are maintenance so idk how much#contact they have with the racist managers outside of simply passing by them#not including the electricians#it’s a lot man#I wrote up a lengthy document documenting my experience here man I hate it bro#all this started over wrist bands ☠️#rambling#it’s so obvious that they want me done
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FUCK
#i wanna scream in a forest#this is gonna be a rant post. just so you know.#last month i went out with a girl i met in the summer theatre course#we stayed outside wandering the city for hours#we talked about our lifes (jesus Christ we were getting to know each other? what else should we have talked about?)#she stopped texting me after that#(she had told me she had a great time. she thanked me for sharing my story)#i texted her today and told me how bad she actually felt after our meeting and that i am too negative for her#because we didn't joke or laugh#i do remember joking and laughing btw#and i get that we can't be liked by everyone but it was the first time in YEARS that i actually opened up to someone#and boy I'm so not taking this well#i was finally feeling good enough but now? now???#I'm trying not to take this too personal because she said 'i'm too sensitive for you' so this might be a problem of hers#even because. you know. it's not like my story is that bad. i just told her about m#my father and what's going on in my family right now which is just annoying yk? not traumatizing#but also. how is it that when i show my true self to someone no one seems to really like it?#do i have to keep pretending I'm someone else? now that i finally know who i am?#i did say I'm an ugly person didn't I#i was already stressed out about uni starting tomorrow#and now this#it will never get better will it#i will always be this messed up thing no one wants to deal with right?#fuck#i was trying to go to therapy less frequently but I definitely need it this week
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I don't care what past me or the me that's writing the fanfic says, this is definitely what happened and no version of me can change my mind
Everyone, being attacked by a blot creature
Leona, refusing to get out of his chair:
Leona who was forced to wake up at 2:19 in the morning for this meeting that could have been an email:
Leona who hasn't been allowed to sleep since he woke up:
Leona who was finally going get his nap:
Blot creature, coming up to Leona: RAWR! FEAR ME!
Leona:
Leona, glaring at the blot creature: Let. Me. Sleep.
Blot creature: Lol ok but I still eat you
Leona, not caring at all: Come back when you stop looking like an ugly jello tar pit reject
Blot creature:
Blot creature, crying: I'm not a jello tar pit reject!
Blot creature, going to a corner to cry some more: And my mom said I looked handsome!
Everyone:
Everyone:
Everyone: What?
Narrator: So once again, the day was saved! Thanks to Leona and his unwillingness to deal with this BS!
Leona, still not getting out of his chair: I just want this meeting to be over so I. Can. Sleep.
#future me better let my boy sleep or this bed won't be big enough for any version of me#leona not wanting to get out his chair reminds me of Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog#a blot creature crashed the meeting#but apparently it can't handle being called ugly#twisted wonderland#twst#leona kingscholar#wrong yuu au
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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here
i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual
#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad#i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off#i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding#and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp#so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random#7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like#being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have#at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory#that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know#meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane#I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do#the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw#and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc#and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night#if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic 🤷♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that#you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy#and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou#i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and#'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy
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dust and horror angel and demon themes,,,, they could totally parallel each other...... :3
dust=angel of death described in the delta rune prophecy (self declared) (i DEFINITELY elaborated on this one waayyyy before but anyways dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME SAVE ME.... death is a blessing ass guy. life is torment and he will be the one to liberate monsters from their bodies and with the strength they provide to him be able to take down evil evil creation of pure misery that is the human ✨✨✨ dont worry his evil cackles are to HIDE HIS PAIN of saving everyone....... trust)
horror=demon that dragged everyone in horrortale into hell (as perceived by everyone else) (i think it would be a cool hc if everyone outside of snowdin viewed horror as literally a demon. maybe undyne preaches that. anyone outside of snowdin might be WAYYY worse because they starve for longer and literally take part in cannibalism so they might not have the same sort of mild sanity that snowdin residents do,,,, besides he DID kinda bring them all eternal suffering. kinda. nobody but undyne knows what happened at the core so she could totally just paint the story to blame horror fully)
ANYWAYS i like the possible dynamics this could have :333
dust to horror (please let me kill you PLEASE let me kill you i can end it all so peacefully wouldn't it be nice??? i promise ill make it quick just for you),,, horror to dust (i want you to live and suffer with what youve done i want you to watch all of your choices hit you one day and i'll be there and laugh at you. i'll keep you alive just to keep you suffering ok?)
OR dust to horror (you dont deserve to die you dont deserve to even be hurt by me. not because youre the exception but youre the Exception i absolutely loathe you so youll never get the sweet release of death :3) and horror to dust (just let me die already i dont wanna be here. youre supposed to be a savior right??? an angel?? then why don't you save me already when i need it more than anyone else)
#SHITS THIS OUT BECAUSE I NEED TO GET RID OF IT. my evil doppelganger will adore this post i've already shown them#this is definitely a bit of an exaggeration of their characters in my eyes but i love it :333#i dont think that dust is THIS deluded in my eyes and i dont think horror is this cynical. even tho theyre both still these traits#i came up with this idea while writing my mtt meets eachother fic :3#you can probably totally guess where i made the connection. thank you horrortale undyne for this one single thing#anyways i dont know how to shove killer into this LMAO. i was thinking like.... angel and demon on your shoulder to swap choices#but but triglycercule doesnt killer already have that with his stages??? well YES but both can be true at the same time :333#idk i dont have enough brain juices for this rn. so you get this half assed explanation 😭😭‼️‼️‼️#dust: we should kill this person. totally because they need to be freed and not because they piss me off#horror: no we should keep them alive but torment them so they never get the sweet release of death and suffer#and thanks to killer THEY CAN DO BOTH!!! YAAAAY!!!!! the powers of determination are awesome man (smug tiktok emoji)#dust is sounding awfully similar to a certain killer au of mine i made..... swapinverse rearing its ugly head once again smh#idk if this is more of a symbolic thing or LITERALLY angel dust and demon horror#because i like both ideas........ imagine an actual angel dust and demon horror going around with killer doing the little dialogue i said#what would killer be in this??? he's not a mortal or a human as would be per usual when describing whats between an angel or demon#killer as a god lmao..... noooo noooooo..... maybe just something akin to one. i meaaan technically-#someone who's more into religious theming would probably eat this idea but i cant be bothered uaghhhh#if i say anything about killer i will get shot. but i can tank a couple bullets. killer does have the ability to let both dust and horror#fufill their own ideologies. and also i am a big fat SUCKER for killer keeping horror and dust 'in line' IDC if its a bad sanses concept#i love it and therefore it's now mine to use in an only mtt context. otherworldly beings trio ‼️‼️ aghhhhh#i have like 89 drafts if the drafts reach 100 by the end of the year i think i'd DIE. so this is getting posted idc#you wont see me using literal angel and demon dust and horror. but if you look in my mind you'll see the themes regularly in what i talk ab#anyways back to writing this stupid fic i go. dust is currently battling several inner demons rn. good luck loser :3#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#tricule hc
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nsfw, mdni.
simon becomes an absolute dog when he sees you in his shirt.
cw: possessive simon, sex on carpet (ouch), unprotected p in v, creampie, size kink (?).
simon is a good roommate. he’s organized, clean, pays rent on time, and minds his own space. the only thing is—roommate is hot. stupidly hot. you know he doesn’t have a girlfriend and he’s never once brought back a girl let alone mentioned one. you figured your little crush on him would pass like all the other (it does not). you start dropping hints that you find him attractive. like wearing your tightest tops, brushing your ass against him while reaching for a cup, even leaving one of your lacy thongs to mix in with his laundry. he never bites the bait. you start to think that maybe he just doesn’t find you attractive or even worse he finds you creepy. so you tuck your schoolgirl crush away into the cavity of your chest.
you close the washer with your hip, cradling your laundry basket back to your room. you hear the familiar turn of your front door lock letting you know simon is home from his morning gym session.
you pad into the living room to ask simon if he needed any clothes washed. simons back is turned from you when he begins to slip off his trainers, dropping his gym at the foot of the door.
“need any clothes washed? i’m starting a load up right now.” you ask eyeing the movement of back muscle underneath his compression shirt.
he finally turns to you and starts to respond “nah don’t think-“ before he snaps his mouth shut when he sees what you’re wearing. “that mine?” his voice gruff, it’s his army issued shirt that is long enough to cover your shorts. a deep green color that frays at the hem and has his last name in bold at the back of it. you notice he’s staring at the worn fabric waiting for an answer.
you look down, “oh yeah. sorry was doing laundry found this in hamper. my clothes are in the wash. hope that’s okay?” you sound apologetic like you just did something unforgivable. jesus christ what were you thinking wearing his shirt without asking. you shift trying to ease your embarrassment.
he’s on you in three short strides. making a noise between a growl and snarl. you don’t know how or when you both ended up on the living room floor. frankly, it’s the last thing on your fucking mind now that you’re on your knees cheek pressing into the shag carpet. you can feel the heat of his stare between your legs. you get a glimpse of your shorts and panties strewn across the floor leaving you in his shirt. you wait with bated breath for him to touch you. you wiggle your hips in a silent plead to get him to do something, anything…everything.
he gives the flesh of your ass a heavy smack that has you clenching around nothing. “be good now.” is all you hear before the sting leaves an angry red mark that you know is gonna leave you wincing for the next week. simon smooths a hand over the back of your (his) shirt making a noise in the back of his throat.
you hear shuffling behind you before you feel the head of him catch on to your opening making your mouth gape like a fish out of water. he groans at the contact, kneading the fat of your hips, before he presses in painfully slow with a hiss. you whimper into the carpet, fists balling, feeling hot all over. your cunt pulses trying to make room for him inside your womb.
“i know. i know, pretty girl. almost there.” simon bites back a hiss when you clench at his words. you think you might die like this. laid out on ugly apartment carpet trying to take simon’s cock. you could cry with relief when you feel simon’s balls meet your clit letting you know he’s all the way in. simon lets out a guttural sound bordering on animalistic at the sight of you speared open on his cock, last name across your back, absolutely crying for it.
he fists the bottom of the shirt to keep you still and eases his hips back just to sink back in slowly. the pressure in your navel hurts so good it’s starting to make you dizzy. simon sets a pace that has you trying to cant your hips back to meet his thrusts. he lays a heavy palm in the middle of your back, just under the boldened ‘RILEY’, keeping you pinned giving you no choice but to take what he gives you.
“prettiest fuckin girl i ever seen. gonna give this cunt the proper treatment she deserves, yeah?” he bends his left leg, somehow sliding in deeper. there’s no doubt that you can feel him in your lungs. “s’deep simon.” you slur, reaching a hand back to weakly press against his stomach. he chuckles at the act taking both wrists into one of his hands pressing them at the small of your back, forcing you into a deeper arch. you sob at the change in angle. your nipples being rubbed raw by the friction of his thrusts.
“needed this real bad, huh? don’t worry baby. i’ll make sure you don’t go without it again. wearing those tiny tops think i didn’t notice.” his voice rough and deep behind you. “uh huh.” you reply without a second thought, you don’t even care that you’ve been drooling into the carpet or that you’ve been caught. simon gives a deep chuckle at how pliant you’ve become just from some good dick.
he knows your close by the increasing volume of your sounds. he never lets up his pace determined to give you his all. “where?” he asks in a quick breathe. you take a few seconds to register his words. “huh?” you manage to squeak out. “where do you want me, pretty thing?” he says in an almost pained voice. the gears turn in your head before you speak up “inside. want it inside. m’clean. pill.” resorting to short clipped words. you beg, as if you have to, simon thinks.
your orgasm comes hard and fast leaving you sobbing out garbled version of please and simon. simon is not far behind burying himself as deep as your bodies will allow and comes inside with a pinched “oh fuck.” he pulls out with a pop and watches his spend leak down your slit leaving a small puddle on the floor that he knows he’ll have to scrub out later.
simon pats your backside affectionately. “don’t think we’ll be doing any laundry today” he says with a grin that makes you giggle. “yeah, don’t think so.”
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#cod x reader#ghost x reader#call of duty x reader#simon riley x reader smut#simon ghost riley x reader smut#ghost smut#cod smut#call of duty smut
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TW: discussions of body image/eating disorders/fat shaming/etc. Rant under the cut. This is about drag and body image as it pertains to Drag Race in the United States.
Thinking about Drag Race in the US. 16 seasons of Drag Race, 7 seasons of All Stars (excluding winners’ seasons), however many Vs The World seasons, and there has *never* been a winner that isn’t skinny.
Oh, some competitors get close. Supposedly, drag is open to all body shapes and sizes (with the right padding and shape wear and makeup). Supposedly, no matter your body, you can shapeshift into something beautiful. Over and over and over again, Drag Race has competitors who pride themselves on being “big girls”; people who grew up fatshamed, but turned it into their brand. Many of these queens are incredibly skilled performers, artists, and entertainers. And yet.
And yet.
Somehow, when the judging gets close, the fat queen usually gets cut.
I think about RuPaul’s background before Drag Race, as a runway model. How the Tic Tac Chit Chat is a running joke; “oh, RuPaul can’t finish a tic tac”. How many queens on the show are *frighteningly* skinny, and this is seen as a compliment. Producers will stitch together storylines of queens recovering from eating disorders, and in the same breath, cut to RuPaul and Michelle Visage complimenting a queen on how small her waist is in that corset.
I think about how many of these queens have had plastic surgery. At least one a season, usually more. How queens will come back for All Stars and I can no longer recognize them, not because they’re painting differently, but because their faces have entirely changed shape in the past few years. Hollower cheeks. Larger lips. Shaved jaws. Cutting and slicing for some proportion that makes them look slimmer and more feminine. How Morphine won the finale Lalaparuza Smackdown, with a $50,000 prize, and excitedly told the camera how she was going to “invest in her body”. “You get a BBL, you get a BBL, everybody gets a BBL!”.
Some of that is gender-affirming surgery, or other medically necessary surgeries. Detox got reconstructive surgery after a car crash, for example. A lot of it… isn’t. A lot of it is an “investment”. Part of the job.
I think about how a queen walked a runway with a look critiquing plastic surgery, all nude illusion and dashed lines, carving away at her waist and hips and butt. How Michelle Visage called it “overdone”. So many queens have talked about that already. It’s not new. It’s old news. Step up your game and talk about something more compelling.
16 years and not a single fat queen has won.
My friend and I aren’t watching seasons in order, but rather by how much they like a particular season. We’re working through season 7 right now. Violet Chotchki wins that one (sorry for spoilers). Violet also spends the entire season focused on emphasizing her body. How young she is. How skinny she is. Look, her “Death Becomes Her” runway is just her in the tightest corset possible, with an IV drip stuck into her arm. Cinched to death. The judges coo at how her waist is *so* small-
How many queens have come onto this show and bragged about losing 50 pounds? How many queens come back for All Stars, gleeful that they’re not a “big queen” anymore? Just “thick and juicy”, just “don’t need any padding”. You can have fat… as long as it’s in the butt or breasts and looks sexy enough. Otherwise it’s a hurdle to cry about in the cutaways. You can be as fat as you want on this show, sure, but if you lose weight you’ll get a camera in your face talking about how much “healthier” you are.
I think about how fashion runways are infinitely, horrifically worse. How most of these winners would, should they walk the runway, be put into a boring pencil skirt in the “plus size” category. They should be so lucky.
I think about Latrice. I think about Ginger Minj. I think about Eureka. I think about Mistress. I think about Megami in the Lalaparuza Smackdown. All these queens that get *so fucking close*. But some little thing-
Some intangible, unnameable thing-
Some unspoken qualia just barely makes their slim competitor stand out enough to take the crown.
I love drag. I really enjoy watching Drag Race. It’s a pocket of explicitly queer media I don’t get to see much of anywhere else. Disabled queens have won multiple seasons. People of color have won multiple seasons. Trans people have won multiple seasons. Just this year, the first East Asian queen won Drag Race in the US. Drag Race is incredibly inclusive to people from all backgrounds who are talented artists showing off their skills-
RuPaul makes another joke about skipping meals and getting surgery to maintain a queen’s “girl body”.
I turn the TV off.
#blue chatter#this makes me want to chuck rocks a little bit!!!!!!#this is not the only issue with the show by far; part of this is that it’s reality TV and they play up cultural biases and such for drama#I know that#there’s also plenty of examples of pervasive racism and classism on this show#even forms of queerphobia#and I understand that this is a show about a very particular subculture of queerness and that expecting it to be unproblematic isn’t fair#the reason I’m talking about drag race specifically is bc my roommate loves it and I’ve been watching a lot of it bc of that#so I’m more familiar with it and better able to call out what I see#please do not start discourse in my notes. I am aware that having a show like Drag Race continue to air is incredible#but please for once can there be a queen who looks like me who doesn’t have to talk about her weight constantly#I don’t think fat queens get judged fairly. I think there is still an association between fat and ugly that shows up in judging decisions#And I think there is a very real danger of encouraging behaviors that are harmful to the queens on the show and the viewers#yes I know part of this art form is being able to alter your shape. I don’t take umbrage with corsets and padding and such.#I do take issue with larger queens getting told they need to do more than their skinny competitors to attain a ‘flattering shape’#violet chotchki walked that nude illusion runway with literally no clothing and won that challenge#despite putting no effort into her look. that gets under my skin. that speaks to me that skinniness gets rewarded over talent#yes it absolutely takes confidence to walk the runway naked that’s not the point. the challenge was focused on altering your body shape#so that even with only your shape you were still giving an appearance of femininity and fashion and *drag* on stage#the most Violet did drag-wise on that runway was tucking. but because she was skinny and attractive it was feminine enough to win.#that makes me upset.#anyway. bat; meet wasp nest.
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The new Wylde Flowers update drops in like 2-3 days so you are about to more or less lose me for a few weeks as I do a complete new play through to get all the interactions with the new character
#i wonder if I’ll love them enough to want to romance anybody but Westley#i tried to romance Kim in my most recent play through because I do think Kim is pretty cool#but Kim is simply not a werewolf who owns an independent bookstore. like there is no competition#also I love Westley’s ugly lil outfit so much#and his RUMBLY VOICE ITS SO GOOD#the point of marrying a character and having them move into your house is being able to hear their voice at any hour you want#and not just during daylight hours#which is why it’s pointless to marry anyone from the coven you can go talk to them in the woods whenever you want#also if you marry Damon he calls you ‘kitten’ a lot which I’ve learned that pretty much everyone who’s married Damon VISCERALLY HATES#i don’t want to date Damon or Amira bc they both come on wayyyyyy too strong the first time you meet them and I don’t like it#and I don’t want to romance Cameron bc he fucking sucks#which leaves me with uhhhh#man there are currently 7 romanceable characters but I’m just blanking rn#Westley Kim Damon Amira Cameron. oh there’s Kai too. who else#i don’t want to date Kai because he’s dumb as a sack of rocks#ok I gotta go look it up I’m gonna feel so dumb#IT WAS GIVA. WHO I LITERALLY MARRIED IN MY FIRST PLAYTHROUGH. SORRY GIVA#(I kept bringing her gifts in the week leading up to her witch trial bc I felt so bad for her)#(and then I felt too bad to NOT date her when the option came up and then I felt like I had to marry her too)#(but I started a new save to date Westley shortly after that)#(you can divorce people but Giva is such a sweet woman that I didn’t want to do that)
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Simon doesn’t like how your boyfriend treats you and makes you feel. He feels he could do better.
“Simon, please tell me this honestly.” You look to the ground nervously.
He chuckles a bit at how intense you look then hesitates. “Alright...”
“Am I ugly?”
Immediately, he laughs you off and simply shakes his head.
“Please, tell me honestly. I just feel like I need to know. My boyfriend, he- he doesn’t touch me, he doesn’t look at me, he doesn’t want me. I feel horrible about myself all the time, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Simon, so please. Just tell me.”
“No.” Simon’s voice booms.
Your teary eyes shoot up from the floor to meet his.
“No, what a stupid question. No, what a ridiculous thought. But yea, what an arsehole he is to make you feel this way about yerself, love.”
He strides over to you, taking your face into your big hands and looking into your watering eyes with so much love.
“No man should ever make you feel like that.” Simon says as gently as he can while trying to control his anger towards your boyfriend.
“I know I wouldn’t.” He whispers just low enough for you to hear and you’re taken aback.
“Simon…”
“Leave ‘im. If not for a man who could treat you bett’r, than for yourself.”
His thumbs rub over your cheeks, soothing you. He’s so warm, so big, so caring. Never did you think you had a shot with him so you never tried. But here he is before you, gushing and he wants you.
“I didn’t think you were interested…” You look down trying to conceal your deep blush.
He lets out a huff of air as he smirks.
“Well now you know.” Simon takes a finger up to your chin to make you look into his eyes once more.
“Leave ‘im and I’ll show you how a beautiful lady should be treated properly.” God, he loves seeing the affect he has on you, you quivering below him, practically begging for him to touch you and never let go.
“Promise.”
Guess you have some breaking up to do.
#joonieskinks#simon riley x reader#cod mw2#ghost simon riley#mw2 x reader#ghost x reader#cod imagine#ghost cod#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley imagine#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley
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