#is this me opening another can of worms about Jily’s sex life? yes

[clare-with-no-i]

After reading that ask you just posted, I also have a question! Do you headcanon that James and Lily were each other's first time? I've read fics with different takes on it so was wondering where you stand. I recently discovered your ao3 account and I ADORE it btw <3 hope you have a lovely day!!

hiya! thank you for the question!

so, with stuff like this, I usually tend to fall back on my knowledge of the social conditions of the 70s in England to give some context. The way that different societies portray sex in media and education will definitely affect a character’s perception of it!

I know that at this time (as it is now, not much has changed tbh) it was much more socially acceptable, even encouraged, for teenage boys to explore sexually, independent of their relationship status. I figure that with James’s wealth and looks and general “I have to experience everything because youth is fleeting and I want to live all of it” lifestyle, it’s pretty probably he had a fling with a girl while summering in Spain or whatever it is loaded English people do. I tend to think that he just thought having sex was something he should do, so he did it, end of story. not saying this is a good position to take, but it’s one that I know is extremely common with people in that age group.

I do think that James would be Lily’s first time, pretty much for similar reasons (AKA the social context of the 70s). The Women’s Lib movement was in full-force, so we get characters like (my version of) Marlene, who take that stance really staunchly and believe proudly in sexual liberation. But we also get pushback and discussion and discord within the women that had access to this movement, especially when traversing different socioeconomic strata. My version of Lily doesn’t date anyone seriously enough before James to venture forward with them sexually, especially given that she’s a teenager.

I tend to think that even despite James having had more experience, it wasn’t something he was hugely proud of because the his first time wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. I don’t think there was really any imbalance of power in Jily’s emerging sexual relationship because being intimate with someone you really love is a very different experience to just doing something to do it - yknow? So, yeah. I usually tend to think he had a subpar pre-Lily fling, but I’m also not opposed to the idea that they were each other’s first times. It’s not really something I’ve thought about that much LOL the length of this answer notwithstanding

and thank you so much for the note about my AO3! That’s so sweet, I’m glad you’re enjoying my stories sweet anon💕