#is there somethjmg about the form or technique that i need to improve?
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#vent ahead#I wanna die of shame everytime I'm in one of my martial arts classes and I find myself seeking emotional support from my instructors#like holy fuck#I'm not a child I'm a fully grown adult#they're not there to coach me like that. Like woman#stop letting the shitty parental relationships bleed into other parts of your life#i especially have to fucking force myself to stop looking at my jiu-jitsu coach every time j do something right like a fucking child#like see? i got it right#did i get it fully right?#is there somethjmg about the form or technique that i need to improve?#am i doing good? please tell me im doing good#GOD I HATE IT#SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME#YOU ARE IN YOUR 20S WOMAN#WHAT ARE YOU DOING ACTING LIKE A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL#EW#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP#im fine i just wanna throw up every time my brain craves something i cant offer to myself#just cptsd things#actually cptsd#cptsd problems#c ptsd
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