#is there a lifehack i dont know about am i doing it wrong or is this what its SUPPOSED to feel like

[wetslug]

.

[shittyrpmemes]

* ∘ ∙ — text post starters. archetype: the villain.

‘lifehack: dont like people? murder’

‘*says ‘idk’ at the end of something sappy and romantic so i still seem cool and detached*’

‘back by unpopular demand: me’

‘why is blood so hard to wash off of your hands?’

‘*sits down next to you and sympathetically looks into your eyes* i don’t care’

‘sometimes people will disagree with u but that’s ok bc u can just kill them’

‘i’m going to jail for excessive cuteness and manslaughter’

‘*enters with a bad powerpoint animation effect* hello’

‘cute first date ideas: hand-to-hand combat’

‘i love looking mean & unapproachable & pretending like i have no idea why ppl are intimidated by my aura’

‘what do i do for a living? i’m an asshole’

‘boys like it when youre playfully mean to them. call them names. punch them on the shoulder. murder their families’

‘live. <3 laugh <3 murder’

‘i’m a terrible person but i accepted that a long time ago so that makes me better than most people’

‘when i die i want my heart donated to nasa so they can finally see what a black hole looks like up close’

‘*stabs u* why??? *whispers* idk im just so random’

‘drugs? no thanks, the only “high” i need is the natural rush you get from committing a murder’

‘how do i know that you’re dating me for my heart and not for my international criminal empire’

‘*at job interview* oh yes, my criminal record? the only thing illegal i’ve done is absolutely killin it on the dancefloor. haha, just kidding! i have killed a man’

‘let’s see you try to unfollow me without any arms’

‘aesthetic: cute as heck but will break ur neck’

‘that is so sweet i might just stab someone’

‘the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself’

‘it’s not you’re* or your*. it’s all Mine. everything is Mine’

‘my kink is people underestimating me and ending up wrong and embarrassed’

‘it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful’

‘is ruining people’s lives a hobby’

‘pretty cool how if you run out of money you can just stab someone and take theirs’

‘studies show i want to kill you’

‘feel sorry for me but also fear me in the depths of your heart’

‘sometimes i fantasise about people shutting the fuck up’