#is there a correlation between these characters struggling with their sexuality and me force myself to not think about

[crownspeaksblog]

The only fictional couples i obsess/fixate and think alot about are mlm and sometimes i feel bad about it because i don't wanna be someone who likes these couples for the wrong reasons.

Even though those couples are one of the biggest things that lead me to break away from homophobia (I'm middle eastern and being homophobic is the norm) because i just watched these men have so much struggle within themselves while they're falling in love with other men. So in my mind when they got together it felt more earned.

Honestly i don't know why i care more about mlm couples then i do about straight couples or even wlw (Honestly I've barely seen any wlw couples) but when i think about it i feel bad because i don't wanna be a woman (who's mostly attracted to men) who likes mlm couples because it's two men making out even though i don't think that's why i fixate on them..

[uncurlinglikeflowers]

Queer Trauma, Coming Out, & the Long Road to Self-Love and Healing

As I’ve reflected on my past, I’ve discovered that my adolescence may be one of, if not THE most traumatic time of my life thus far as a queer person. The last few months with my incredible therapist have made me realize that the years of anxiety, panic, fear, self-loathing, confusion, and depression have scarred me deeper than I had previously thought. She also made me realize that this is at least partially because I have never really talked about it openly and in depth in a healthy and productive way before, which is what inspired me to start this blog to share my experiences with others that are currently struggling with their identity, or to allow those that are also currently healing from the trauma of their previously closeted life feel a little more seen.

I knew from a VERY young age that I was different, but didn’t know how or what it meant. I was a lonely kid for a lot of my childhood without many friends. I didn’t want to play football with the boys during recess. I sought companionship at lunch with a table full of girls more often than not, which in itself also made me feel incredibly self conscious at the time as well. 

I asked, (with incredible shame) for the “girl’s toy” from the backseat in the McDonald’s drive-thru because I loved to play with the mini-Barbies and craft entire storylines for them. They were easier to hide in my room than regular sized Barbies. I spent most summers off school alone playing video games and reading book and book after book. I didn’t really click with the boys down the street. I was obsessed with Britney Spears and the color purple. I was lonely without really knowing what it meant.

I feel as though that fear I felt in my childhood and adolescence held me back from SO much. Middle school in particular was absolute hell. I hated it. I always felt constantly insecure and uncomfortable. I had absolutely zero confidence or self love. I hated my body and how I looked. 

While other kids experienced their first relationships and first feelings of romantic love, I was convinced that it was just not a possibility for me. On top of being deeply closeted, scared, confused, lonely, and in deep denial, girls didn’t go for me anyway. I was the awkward chunky guy struggling with his identity feeling like he had to make up for it by working extra hard to get perfect grades and give himself 100% to other people. I tried not to think about it too much, but hearing about relationships, seeing people kiss in the hallways between classes, and girls talking about what they liked in boys which was the complete opposite of me... it was hell.

To make my self consciousness worse, I felt supremely uncomfortable in gym class and the boys’ locker room in particular. I was ashamed of my body and also self conscious for wanting to look at the other boys; terrified that they would catch on and beat me senseless. Hearing them consistently call each other f*g in a very VERY negative context drove me deep into the closet as the identity I already felt shame for was directly correlated with being a ridiculed outcast, and something that was inherently, disgustingly wrong and unacceptable. The worst insult teenage boys could deliver to each other in the safety of an unchaperoned locker room in a hick town often not kind to queer people or those that were different. I SO desperately wanted to fit in with the other boys instead of being any version of who I actually was.

Part of that façade of blending in with my hetero peers involved having a girlfriend for two months in 8th grade. We didn’t even kiss, let alone approach any sexual situations. I’m sure she had her suspicions. I was utterly obsessed with the concept of blending in by having a girlfriend like the other boys and just having someone special in my life, even if we really didn’t even do any couple things. 

Upon reflection, I don’t think the concept of ever being sexual with her ever crossed my mind in the slightest. Even the idea of kissing her scared the hell out of me, and not just from first kiss nerves. Deep down I knew it wasn’t right for me. Don’t EVER tell a kid they’re too young to know. Fast forward to modern times, my first kiss with a girl was with a close friend YEARS after I came out. Go figure. 

The idea of caring about and loving myself was non-existent at that time. It’s a very VERY new and ongoing journey for me. I didn’t really care about myself at all. I hadn’t learned how to. Mom was in and out of cancer treatments, and would later pass during my senior year of college and kick off my coming out process, but that’s a whole other post for another day. Spending pretty much my entire childhood watching mom deal with being sick, I didn’t want to cause my family any more discomfort. I was full of self loathing, fear, and confusion, but it seemed irrelevant and unimportant because I didn’t want to be a hindrance. 

Instead, I tried so desperately to be the perfect kid and son by befriending my teachers, being a model student, and joining band and a bunch of organizations to stay as busy as possible to stay distracted and impress everyone else.I didn’t love myself because I didn’t think I was allowed to or deserved to in my own head. While I did finally make more meaningful friends in high school, I continued to go through the motions to make my family proud to make up for the scared closeted kid who thought he had to make up for his queerness as though it were a shameful weakness, and it seemed to be the only thing that could possibly matter at the time.

Non-surprisingly, I never really knew any openly queer boys in grade school. It probably legitimately wasn’t all that safe to come out in that environment. I’ll never forget the two boys I saw holding hands in a Wal-Mart that absolutely shook up my entirely reality, because I had never seen romantic same-sex affection in person before. 

There was a lesbian couple at my school, but people said awful, degrading things about them behind their backs constantly and acted like they were the biggest freaks. Another boy in my grade in high school hadn’t come out yet officially but was very flamboyant, and thus was treated just as awful as the lesbian couple, if not worse. Other kids just regularly said despicable things about him without even knowing him at all. I even heard parents make blatantly homophobic jokes about him. 

His life had to have been hell, and as a fully out queer adult, I still regret not being able to stand up for him more. That definitely forced me deeper into the closet. He wasn’t even out but got talked about like he was some disgusting abomination. How could I ever assume that I could ever come out, let alone kiss, date, and love another boy? I HATED the idea of any attention being placed on me, so I just wanted to survive school at that point.

I had multiple people throughout high school ask me if I were gay just as though it were the most casual question rather than a triggering inquiry that sent me into a mental frenzy every damn time it was presented. Having one of the jock boys ask me such a deeply personal question in passing on the way to my seat in Algebra class was traumatizing. I of course always said no, as at the time I was still convinced it was a passing phase and that I couldn’t actually be gay. 

At home, in the days of Myspace, I got anonymous messages telling me they were pretty sure I was gay. The anonymity was arguably worse in some ways. 

At a young age, I became hyper aware of how I carried myself, talked, and acted. I loathed hearing my voice or seeing myself in pictures, for fear of sounding too feminine or standing or emoting too gay. I obsessed over the concept that boys and girls carried their books a certain way, or the boys would be labelled as queer. I was paranoid about where I shopped for clothes, the colors I wore, and the length and fit of my shorts. 

In middle school, I got a lilac colored trapper keeper for school that I ultimately had my parents take back to the store for a different one because I felt so self conscious about it all day. At home I played with my little Barbies, but didn’t dare tell the kids at school for fear of rejection and isolation. Overall, I felt grossly incompetent, irrelevant, and unimportant in my own mind. Unworthy of love and of course, deeply ashamed for my attraction to the other boys.

I never had anyone whatsoever to help guide me through the coming out process, because I didn’t know a single queer person who could. I’ve now dedicated a good amount of my energy trying to be that person I desperately could have used then for anyone else that needs that role to be filled, and for someone to tell them that someone is incredibly proud of them. An obscene amount of queer people don’t ever hear “I’m so proud of you!” when they really need it the most. 

I also didn’t have any good queer representation on TV or in movies, so I really did feel completely alone at times. Most queer characters in media existedly solely to be made fun of and mocked, ratcher than celebrated, properly represented, or God forbid, given a legitimate love story, and the public’s reaction was so frequently one of such repugnance and disapproval. 

This was also probably about the time that a close family member told me that he had punched a gay guy for hitting on him when he was younger, a story he again felt the need to share with a now ex-boyfriend and I when we were dating, as though that’s not a horrifying thing for an already scared and closeted queer to hear from their own family. 

I think during middle school in particular is when my anxiety and depression issues started, but I assumed either that I was being a baby and that my feelings were invalid, or that it was just teenage angst. The idea that boys and men should mask their emotions and feelings and feel shame rather than expressing them was, (and seemingly appears to continue to be) a very real thing in small towns and society in general. 

It didn’t occur to me at the time that I was experiencing varying levels of almost daily trauma that would fuck me up well into adulthood. If you take anything at all from this post, let it be that the conversation around mental health, (and men in particular in this instance) NEEDS to change.

Another particularly noteworthy event in my queer adolescence was when two of my friends, (both girls, shocker) discovered gay porn on my computer. While they pestered me about if it were mine while they laughed, I of course lied. I felt a deep shame and utter humiliation. On reflection, fucking IMAGINE if they had been able to be gentle and understanding with me and told me they loved me and still would even if I were gay. From then on I was terrified that they would bring that day up to our other friends as a joke. Perhaps they did a time or two, I don’t recall. These same friends made jokes about the queer kid I mentioned earlier, and both parents of one of the girls regularly gossiped and made homophobic jokes about him when I was at their house 

By the time school dances rolled around, I knew I would never be able to go with anyone but friends. Even if I weren’t still deeply closeted, I’m pretty sure my school still had pretty strict rules against bringing same-sex dates to Prom. While I definitely had fun with my friends at the dances we went to, I so desperately longed for a world where I could dance with a boy who loved me like everyone else was able to.

The loneliness and isolation I felt at the end of those nights could be unbearable because it didn’t seem possible for me, even as I looked into the future. I was fully convinced I would live a very lonely life without anyone to love me the way I craved. I didn’t belong in that world, and wouldn’t ever be set up for that kind of happiness, joy, and feeling of content. I would live for everyone else but myself because that’s just the way the world worked for us queers.

I wish I had had just one single person then who gave me full permission to be my authentic queer self on any level. Someone who could hug me and tell me life after high school and college could and would be vastly different. Someone to tell me I wasn’t an unlovable disgusting freak, but rather a kind-hearted boy who deserved a deep love someday because I was a valid and gentle soul who deserved the world. I certainly deserved more than the shame and pain that constantly haunted me. 

Maybe then I wouldn’t have thought about death before 30 so much and obsessed over it well into my college career. I might have realized that I needed to learn to be gentle with myself and take care of and prioritize me and my own happiness. So many people let me down and convinced me that I was a filthy sinner and an over-emotional kid with invalid perspectives and feelings. As most of my closest friends, (that I cannot stress enough have been the ones to save my life and encourage the authenticity that I present so proudly today) came into my life after I had already come out fully, they weren’t around during those dark early struggles. 

Sometimes as an adult I still wonder what it would have felt like and how profoundly different my life could be if someone had held me close and sincerely told me they’re proud of me for what I survived and overcame, and told me that they can’t wait to see my eyes light up with the love I’ve always dreamed of in a boy, and that I still continue to seek. 

Young, baby gay Travis would be in absolute awe if he knew what life had in store for him back then. To see a future version of himself painting his nails, wearing whatever he wanted, dancing with strangers at pride festivals, having the time of his life at drag shows with his queer family and falling in love with boys? Proudly holding a boyfriend’s hand walking downtown in a busy city? Openly telling his dad about the cute boy he’s going on a date with? Going Facebook official with a boy? Being a super vocal advocate and inspiration and mentor to not only queer family, but to people he hardly talks to but manages to influence and inspire just by unashamedly being himself? Genuinely looking forward to kissing his new husband in front of family and friends on his wedding day, knowing it’ll be one of the happiest days of his entire life? 

Holy. Actual. Fuck.

Travis of six or seven years ago wouldn’t have even dared to dream this big, let alone baby gay Travis. He probably would have been utterly mortified but SO comforted to see that future life when he didn’t believe it to be any level of possible.

I’m so fucking proud of myself for this journey, and no one will ever take that away from me or water down my trauma or the grueling work I’ve put in. Genuinely, this is the one thing in my life that makes me absolutely burst with pride. 

I think I want to learn how to keep baby Travis in mind with this pride without having to revisit the trauma in the process. Look back at him with open arms, excited to see him learn and blossom into his actual self someday. Even if he could have desperately used someone like the me I am today, he survived then, and continues to persevere today. 

He’s queer as fuck, and proud to shout it from the rooftops. He’s a voice and an advocate for the voiceless. A shining light and beacon of hope for those still navigating their terrifying escape from their closeted life. He’s going to meet a man someday and love him so deeply in the way baby Travis always dreamed of. Above all, he’s going to continue to make that little guy so incredibly proud because he knows now the importance of loving himself in the process. 

I’m so proud of that scared little boy. I just wish he could have known then how proud he would make himself one day.   

As you talk with the queer people in your life, please keep in mind that just about all of us have incredible trauma directly tied to our identities. Talk to them with love, compassion, and understanding. Tell them how proud of them you are for pursuing their own happiness in the face of oppression and rejection. 

Demand better from elected officials. Advocate for us. Shut down homophobic ideals, even if you think it’ll make your family and friends uncomfortable to hear. Support queer content, artists and creators. Be a proud ally, but don’t ever allow yourself to take the spotlight away from actual queer people or our queer spaces. Mourn, love, and celebrate with us. 

Understand why pride is SO fucking important to us, and why you never have to worry about needing your own pride events. Listen to us and love us for exactly who we are, and were always meant to be. Love is the most incredible, beautiful, and often rare human experience we’re able to experience during our short time on this planet, and it should always be celebrated.

Happy Pride!

[oh-no-toshinori]

#3 Pride Month Story

Hey all! Sorry for not posting one in a week or something like that. I wanted to post one every day, but apparently graduating and working is a lot more work than it should be. This story is based on polyamory. I'm not saying that this story is how poly-amorous relationships go, neither is it how they don't work out for those who are poly. This is merely what I've experienced from the peers around me. I'm not poly, so I won't be able to make this one too personal like I was able to accomplish with the Bisexual Story.

I struggled a lot to figure out which anime I wanted to showcase for this one. In the end, it came down to My Hero Academia. These stories are merely fan-based and none of them are accurate to the shows correlated with the story. I know that the sexualities in MHA are pretty clearly stated, so please do not take offense to any ships I have going for this one.

I will not be using an OC (original character) for this one. I will be using the characters that are within the anime. This will be written in the POV of Jirou Kyoka.

- - -

My name's Jirou Kyoka. It's no secret that I like males and females, but what people don't really know about me is that I'm polyamorous. I've kept it a secret from my current U.A classmates for about a year now, but it's not exactly working out for me anymore. I'm dating one of my classmates, Kaminari Denki. If you're wondering, I didn't tell him that I'm interested in open relationships. It's a huge oops on my end, but I'm almost 100% certain that Denki is no stranger to polyamory. I know I have to tell him soon about myself. Things just might get out of hand if I don't tell him because. . .

I think I'm in love with Yao-Momo. It's a huge struggle to stop myself because I know there are people out there that aren't like me. Heck, Yao-Momo might even shut me down because of my sexualities for all I know, not just Kaminari.

Shit man, this is kind of terrifying. Then again, Yao-Momo hasn't pushed me away ever since I came out as bisexual, so who knows? Maybe she won't shut me out if I tell her another part of me?

But then again, how will Kaminari feel? Will he push me away? I know I still want to be with him, but I also want to be with Yao-Momo. If they don't want to be together, they don't have to be. This kind of relationship doesn't always have to be a throuple. Why is this confusing?

I take a deep breath in and look ahead of me. Walking to lunch with the swirling thoughts of concern and confusion has made me lose my appetite, but the show must go on. Can't work in Aizawa Sensei's class on an empty stomach.

I reach the cafeteria and gather my meal. I go to sit with Ashido, Kirishima, Bakugou, Sero, and my boyfriend Kaminari. I must've been visibly distraught because as soon as I made my appearance at the table, the entire crew forced their gazes onto me. I set my plate down next to Kaminari's before wiping the sticky cold sweat from my forehead. Well, that's disgusting.

"Jirou, you look like you've seen a ghost. Are you okay?" Ashido speaks up against the silence. Her face grew into a look of concern.

"Yeah, I'm just nervous today is all. I think I forgot my Anti-Depressants or something." Well, that's at least half of the story. I don't need them to know more. Wait, did I really forget mt Anti-Depressants? What the fuck I'm so fucked. Calm Down, Kyoka. It's just one day. ONE DAY! Why am I scared again? Oh, right. I have to confess something to my boyfriend as well as Yao-Momo. Cool.

"Girl, you look like you're buggin' over there."

"Kyoka, what's wrong?" Kaminari asks me as he gently presses his hand upon the middle of my back.

I've gotta admit. This is eating me ALIIIVE I tell you. "Hey, um, Denki, Do you think you could get Yao-Momo and meet me out in the hallway? I need to talk to the both of you." THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE HE'S CHEATING OH GOD.

"Uhm, okay?" He takes his confused self over to Yao-Momo's table to take her out into the hallway. While he's grabbing her, I tell the gang that everything is okay; Kaminari did nothing bad and I just needed to have a small talk with them about class half of that explanation being a lie to save my own ass.

Sero, Kiri and Ashido look at me in question, but shrug it off while Bakugou doesn't pay an ounce of attention to the conversation. . . which I'm thankful for. He would have told me to get the fuck out if I wanted to be a pussy, and that's the last thing I need right now.

I meet Denki and Yao-Momo in the hallway I've told them to meet me. I take in a deep breath, shake my hands, and wiggle my feet.

"What's going on here, Jirou?" Yao-Momo asks me, her motherly concern expressing itself like a warm summer day.

I take in a huge gulp of air and. . . .

"I'mpolyamorousandI'minlovewiththebothofyouandIcan'thelpitandIwasn'tgoingtosayanythingbecauseIfeellikeIwillbejudgedandlosemyrelationshipsthatIhavewiththebothofyou."

Denki's face goes completely blank while Momo's reaction is one of shock.

"Wait a minute, are you asking for a relationship between the three of us?" Momo asks. How the hell did she manage to understand me?!

"I- I don't really know what I'm asking! I love tthe both of you and I want to be with the both of you, but you two don't need to date if you don't want to!" The cold sweats come back harder this time. I wipe my face all over, as well as my neck, with the handkerchief from my breast pocket.

"Jirou, I'm glad you're coming clean to us, but-"

"A relationship with the both of you?! Maaaaan that sounds like a dream." Interrupts Denki as he goes off daydreaming about scenarios.

"I'm not on the same page as Kaminari." Announces the obsidian-eyed female. "For one; I don't want to be in an awkward situation in such a relationship, two; it's not for me, and three; I'm with Shoto now."

I look at her dead in the eye. I really panicked over nothing. How could I not know that she was dating Shoto? She's been oddly close to him for six months, there was no way for me to miss that. Yet. . . somehow I missed it.

"Jirou, I don't like girls either. So in any situation I wouldn't have told you yes. I'm as straight as they come. I don't agree with your lifestyle or your sexualities, but just know that I still like you as a person aside from that. I will be on my way to eating now. Thank you and goodbye." Momo storms back into the lunchroom she had just left.

That hurt like a bitch. Wow.

Denki walks up to me and hugs me tight for a long few moments. As he pulls away from me, he wipes my tears away. "Kyoka, I need you to know that I support you. If you want an open relationship, I'm on board, okay?"

I nod slowly before bursting into tears. Tell me why this hurt? I knew she wasn't going to go for it. . . then again I still fantasized about something that could have been. Maybe that's why this hurt.

Thank god for Kaminari Denki. If he weren't by my side, I don't know what I would have done.

"Thank you for being supportive." I sniffle. I take his hand into mine before we both walk into the cafeteria. My eyes were bloodshot and tear-stained while Denki had a solemn smile on his face. It was almost as if he was hurt by Momo as well.

I just hope this kind of pain doesn't happen too often because this actually kind of hurt, not gonna lie. . .

I'm not sure if i would ever trade Denki for the world. For him to be supportive and loving still means so much to me, and it only makes me love him all the more so.

[asifindmypath]

Pop Culture Paganism: A Mental Exploration

My own personal thought experiment regarding a mental exploration of Pop Culture Paganism and Witchcraft. Don’t like it, you don’t need to read it. Flamers will be ignored. Constructive discussion and rebuttal is encouraged.

It’s worth noting that I’m a fairly recent “convert” to a pagan setting. I consider myself an eclectic polytheistic pagan witch. I worship a number of gods from different pantheons, and have a generally mixed Eclectic spirituality. I’m still learning and experimenting and discovering my craft and my path. I am not an expert by any means, and the following are my personal opinions. The only reason this post is not Private like most of my entries on this blog is because I feel this discussion may be validating for some who are put down for their faith. 

Now without further ado, if you’re interested, check under the Cut. ;)

I’ve been doing a lot of research recently. It started by my looking up if it’s offensive to the gods to watch/enjoy/associate them with pop culture. Is Hades offended by my love of the Disney version of him? Would Bast or Serket be offended by my using images of them as they appear in video games like Smite? 

I’ve come to answer myself with; it depends. It’s going to require experimentation, meditation and asking each specific god their preference, but in general, I think the answer is mostly no. If you have the proper intent, I think the gods appreciate it all the same.

I found an interesting Reddit Thread in which their was a discussion about Pop Culture Paganism. I didn’t realize that was even a thing, but reading the discussion was fascinating, and validating. While some are offended by the mere thought of not strictly following the old ways as closely as we can, others argue that myths of the old gods began as stories. 

It’s doubtful that if these gods existed as real people or divine beings before humans, that these stories we know of them are one hundred percent accurate. Humans are fallible, we embellish, we exaggerate, and even when trying to be as accurate as possible, we still insert personal bias into everything. We can’t help it, it’s in our nature. So any story, true or not, is going to, at it’s core, be subject to the bias both of the original first-hand account, by every subsequent retelling, and by the person hearing it. 

Therefore, why is it offensive to the gods to follow a new retelling of them? a modern version of a god, like, Loki and Thor, for instance, should be just as valid. It’s doubtful that the comic writers and film producers over at Marvel have consciously been contacted by Loki and Thor to tell them how to depict them, but does that mean that the gods weren’t influencing their own stories? Could Loki not have inserted the ideas, placed sources of inspiration into the lives of the writers? Of course he could have.

Another point that was brought up was that new gods spring up all the time. There is a new goddess being worshiped in India by the Dalit community. There are authors who have unwittingly created new gods or religions with their writings. There are sects of people who worship the Valar from Tolkien’s universe, the Jedi Way is a recognized religion now, Lovecraftian monsters are widely accepted as actual ancient beings and have permeated so many areas of culture. Some Celtic deities are traced back to seeming works of fiction.

Some people use pop culture figures as associations for their gods; more tangible, relate-able and realistic than their ancient stories. I recently made a strong association between Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock and Thoth. I’ve also used a Tolkien Mantra of sorts to honor Anubis; Patience being a struggle for me, and one of His attributes, I will occasionally find myself thinking of Treebeard’s signature philosophy, “do not be hasty.”

Some do actually worship fictional characters, even those not intended to be deified. Some use archetypal characters for worship and find pop culture associations for them, but some literally worship Batman or Sailor Moon. Some use fictional characters in spirit work, or create spells around them. The concept of the energy, the love and adoration, the living and breathing history and collective thought poured into and about these characters, this whole process makes absolute sense to me. I’m not sure if I’ll go quite so deep into it, though perhaps. Vi has already mentioned potentially worshiping Clavicus Vile. I’d be okay with that. 

Given that many works of fiction draw from real life mythology, legends or properties, a lot of fictional deities and characters have some real-life counterpart. One can find strong correlations to the Gems in Stephen Universe having similar properties to their real-life crystal and stone counterparts. Many fictional deities are amalgamations of real gods. Hell, many “primary” sources of old gods are works of fiction in and of themselves, such as the works of Homer. While there may be truth the stories, they are embellished and theatrical to make it interesting to read, and are at best an artist’s interpretation of events.

I saw another post today that was so validating. Can’t find it right now, or I would link it. Basically it said that a god becomes a god when someone believes they are one. It could be a single person. They are a god. The older the god, the more energy put towards it, the more followers they have, the stronger they become. So in my mind, old gods like the Egyptian, Roman, Norse, Celtic, ect. gods, those of ancient civilizations, most of these will be far more powerful than a new god with a small following. Millions of people did and still do worship Anubis. There are probably only a select few who worship Dipper Pines (though given GF’s cult following, I’m sure I’d be surprised at that number-). Therefore Anubis has more influence and power as an established god, able to reach out even to those unaware of him at the time, and sometimes bring people to the fold this way. Versus Dipper, if deified, would have a harder time calling to a random new child to join the cult of the Mystery Twins. 

My concept, which I originally considered a sort of excuse or explanation of my odd and unusual spiritual beliefs, is that energy is a force, it’s neither created, nor is it destroyed. If magic is just channeling one’s will into existence, expending your energy and maybe using other energy aids (a burning candle, a charged crystal, stored energy in plant matter, ect) to yield a desired effect, then why can’t the same concept be put towards anything? If we can will the spirits to read our futures, if we can will two people to fall in love, or will the universe to cause someone bad luck or harm, why can we not will a new being into existence? 

In the same way that offerings, prayers and even uttering the name can strengthen older, established gods; in the same way, why can I not make offerings, prayers and epitaphs to Smaug, or Winnie the Pooh, or any fictional character? 

Personally, the concept of pop culture magic is also fascinating to me, and that makes even more logical sense to me. If we take a character like Ash Ketchum. A character of indomitable spirit, fierce determination, immortality, and innocence; a character beloved by millions, who’s journeys have inspired generations of children, even shaped the lives of some - there is magic there. There is so much collective thought, energy, love, adoration there. So many know his name, his image, his stories. There are myths and legends about him, theories about other adventures, other possibilities. Artwork is made, statues created, there are buildings dedicated to his world, his friends and family, the animals and creatures of his world. 

Even if you don’t see the correlations to a god from an outside perspective, that amount of power centered around some pixels on a television screen is real. It’s there, it exists. No witch or magic user should be able to deny that. Using that stored energy in a spell would be simple when looking at it from this perspective. In the way we can take an animal, look over all its aspects, and channel it into our spells. In the same way we can invoke Mother Bear for strength, maternal protection and love, we could invoke a character like The Doctor for wisdom, compassion and a drive to do what’s right. 

The other angle here, is that anyone who subscribes to the Many Worlds Theory can’t really deny the possibility of most of this. This theory proposes there are an infinite number of universes full of infinite possibilities. There is a world where the Roman Empire never collapsed and we’re all living under the new Caesar. There is a world where modern day man is still living alongside dinosaurs. There is a world where ours does not exist. There is a world exactly the same as this one, except that you ate cereal for breakfast today instead of scrambled eggs. There’s a world where dogs are the dominant species and keep humans as pets. There is a world where the Avengers are fighting against Thanos. One where Luke Skywalker is teaching younglings in the Jedi Temple. One where Ash and Pikachu are traveling to another new region in the Pokemon world. One where we live in a giant computer simulation. Infinite. Possibilities.

I’m not here to convince anyone, I may or may not even practice any of this, it’s just some interesting thought exercise. I like thinking about things like this sometimes. I also think that in a world where we are beginning to pave our own Paths; we’re inventing identities for ourselves, discovering new genders, sexualities, magics, gods, everything; that we should be kind to each other as we discover these new avenues. To each their own, and live and let live <3

Blessed be, everyone, and may you all find whatever Path you wind up on fulfilling and full of joy.