#is that even that funny. i was mostly residually mad about the guy i followed complaining aboht misandry

[yelloworangesoda]

would bluesky understand and respect down with men bus

i want to be a bluesky poster SO BAD but i am. not funny rn

[nonuggetshere]

I loved reading all of that. It's so funny how PK's sibs, and at points his dame, tease him. I love it so much 😆

It also got me thinking.

Would it be possible, in another AU (maybe like wayward royals or somewhere waaaaayyy down in FAaF), for Flower them to run into WLs Father. Or, maybe Flower gets separated and meets him by accident. Would he realize their kin or just see him as a territorial threat?

THANK YOU it's one of my favourites, writing family dynamics is so entertaining

AND FUNNY YOU MENTION THAT because I actually have an AU where they meet both of their grandparents! But first, some info about Quercus, then more info about the AU itself

This is gonna get super rambly bc I'm copy-pasting mine and Integrity's messages from discord

His name is Quercus and he is old as balls

He had Amanita when he was very very old too and these two were particularly close because she was the only surviving seedling. She's never seen his persona face to face but they talked a lot and he took great care of her (I think I already mentioned how roots grow up and how he's like with his children)

The kingdom he resides in is quite literally built around, on and into his giant ancient root body. He hasn't fully abandoned his former form like his daughter had and resides in a sort of in-between, which roots can do. His smaller form is connected to his body and is more residual from ages long past when he used to properly rule the kingdom. Now he's retreated from this role and many of the kingdom's peoples don't even realise that the higher being whose body they live in is still alive

He keeps his body beneath the ground, in a chamber he dug amongst his roots, where he mostly resides in and feeds on any poor schmuck that decides to venture into (and get lost in) the twisting, long tunnels amongst his roots

It's been a long time since he's communicated with anyone face to face, which he doesn't mind, roots aren't particularly social and are quite literally built to remain stationary with very little outside stimuli for a very long time

A mortal would have probably go insane if they spent their human lifespan's equivalent in isolation like he did but he's quite literally built different

And when I say ancient I mean ANCIENT

When he had Amanita he probably would be like the human equivalent of a 110 year old

But roots don't die of old age and he's strong and healthy so he's still kicking

The few AUs where he and Adamas meet they do NOT get along its actually so funny

Worsties in law

SO THE AU

I've mentioned that higher beings in my AU have the ability to sense who is their kin and it's especially strong in rootfolk, it's needed considering how they reproduce to avoid inbreeding

LONG story short, Flower needed a fucking break from Everything, ended up getting lost, ended up chancing upon their grandma and almost got their ass beaten by her before she realised they're her kin, after they left she had a bad feeling and decided to follow to keep an eye on them, they arrived at their grandfather's former kingdom and decided hey checking out these tunnels that supposedly nobody came out of alive would be a good idea, Adamas obviously sensed this ancient god in there and followed to keep Flower's dumb ass safe, bullshit ensues when she interrupts him excitedly introducing himself to the first grandkid he's ever met and asking about his daughter

And the two get into a massive argument. Because it just didn't occur to them that their children could EVER end up together

And Flower can't get a word in to explain

Adamas might not be a god but she's so willing to square up against one about this, Flower is HER kin so you can go fuck yourself you overgrown carrot

Flower: Fucking hell, now I get why my parents are Like That

Quercus: they’re clearly a root!

Adamas: they’re clearly a wyrm!

Flower: I—

Adamas: where’s their vines and roots and flowers than Hm? You’ve gone mad in old age

Flower: hey guys—

Quercus: Bold words from a mortal

Adamas: I might not be a god but I still don't mind kicking the ass of one!

Flower: OKAY! Alright! Enough fighting! Here's a wild idea; I am both of yours grandchild

Quercus: ...No

Adamas: Impossible

Quercus: Why would any of my children lower their standards so much as to take something as beastly as a wyrm for a partner?

Adamas, bristling: What could a root even provide for any of my clutches, besides sustenance after ripping into one? You're all soft, lazy pushovers

Flower: Fucking hell–

Flower: what if I ditched you both and left. What then. What if just leave

They just. Ditch their grandparents but of course Adamas goes to hunt them down

Adamas: Didn't your sire and dame teach you it's rude to sneak away like that?

Flower: I didn't sneak away, I even said goodbye, you were just too preoccupied with tour squabbles. Why do you keep following me anyways?

Adamas: It's not often I get to meet my grandchildren, let alone one's so careless or stupid enough to not only wander into another wyrm's densite but to also march into an ancient, hungry God's open maw. Somebody has to teach you self preservation because clearly whichever of my children had you failed at that

Flower: Oh, joy...

Adamas: …which one was it anyways?

Flower, who doesn’t even know PK or WL’s name: ….. the pale short one?

Adamas, also pale and kind of short: .......Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?

Adamas, starting to list names:

Flower: I don’t know his name

Adamas: ??????????

Adamas: Are you serious?

Flower: ...Does the Pale King of Hallownest ring a bell?

Adamas: You only know him by his title?

Flower: It's a long story, don't dodge the question

Adamas: I suppose I've heard of him, wyrm kingdoms aren't that common nowadays- isn't he a god? One of my children is an actual god?

Flower: Wh- how did you hear of him but never realised he was your son? You have no right to judge me holy shit

Adamas: So it's decided, I'm going back to Hallownest with you and beating your parent's ass

Flower: HUH WHAT

Adamas: Fucker can't teach you how to take care of yourself and makes you use their title, I'm setting their ass straight if that's the last thing I do

Flower: WHO'S DECIDING THIS WE DIDN'T DECIDE SHIT I DO NOT AGREE TO THIS

SORRY GOT OFF TOPIC

Point is, Quercus would recognise Flower (and any other grandkid) and would ADORE them, especially if he knew they came from his little princess. But PK and his part of the family? Yeah uh. The old man does Not like nor approve of them

I think the only thing Adamas and Quercus would agree on is that Flower's parents kind of suck

Especially if they find out about the whole vessel thing

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Starhunter.”

Hope you guys have a great friday. 

The camera Hadn’t been in a good position, it was far too low on the jet and the creature was too big. Multiple cameras from the four jets allowed them to see just enough to send up a murmuring through the bridge crew and the officers.

Commander VIr sat in the captain’s chair calm and collected where earlier he had been in a near state of panic.

“I think it’s related to the starborn.”

The entire room turned to look at him, where he sat rubbing his chin and staring at the limited video feed.

“What makes you say that?”

“Because the sucker is telepathic.”

More muttering gone up around the room, “It talked to you?”

He nodded his head.

“What did it say.”

“Deus.”

The room went still, they recognized that word. The infected starborn had talked like that once upon a time when they were being used and tortured by the mad Gibb scientist.’

“Deus….. Isn’t that latin?”

“Like Deus ex machina?”

“Remind me what that means again?”

“God of the machine, right?”

Behind him the group continued to debate about the meaning for the word while he saw in his chair tapping his fingers against the seat.

“Well why would it look at the Commander and call him a god. I can understand the big lizard looking in a mirror and calling itself that, but this has happened to him like five or six times, and.’ the man turned to look at him, “No offence sir, but you aren't any kind of god.” 

“Clearly he sees something in me that you don’t.” 

That raised a bit of a laugh from the rest of the room as he stood, “Someone get Conn in here.”

Just as he said that, the door at the far end of the room opened, and the starborn came floating in his ribbons undulating and churning in the sudden pressure change from out in the hallway.

The group went silent.

“Kill it.”

Commander Vir frowned.

“I said kill it.”

“Do you know what this thing is?” He asked pointing towards the video feed.

“Yes.”

“So you knew about space dragons the entire time, and you failed to mention this to us?”

Conn’s ribbons flicked as he glowered icily towerds the commander, “It was not relevant at the time. It eats starborn, specifically starborn queens , but it is not a starborn. That thing hanging around its neck would have been it’s mate, who does eat regular starborn.”

Another murmuring around the room.

“And you’re sure you have no idea what deus means?”

He shook his head, “it is a human word, not a word of the starborn, so I have no idea why the creature would use it. Probably saw it in your head is all and wanted to freak you out before eating you.”

“It didn’t try to eat us.”

The starborn shrugged, “Doesn’t matter, kill it.”

“Conn, You know I’m not authorized to go around the galaxy slaying dragons.” He turned to everyone else on dec. I’m setting a course back to where I saw it, who knows, maybe it is still there, either way we are going to be safe and keep our distance. Everyone back to your stations.”

The crew turned and did as ordered, as the commander went back to the ship controls. Conn floated behind him looking a little more than Td off, but commander Vir ignored him. Conn was safe on the ship,so the creature would not be feasting on starborn today.

Slowly, he engaged the engines and turned them in a slow arc to drift back towards the overly thick dust cloud.

Looking at it, the cloud was still billowing a bit, sort of spreading outward, but he assumed that was leftover residual movement from the stardragon earlier.

Stardragon? Voidhunter? Lord of the cosmos.

He would have to think up something cool to call it later.

He had seen it first after all and that gave him the right to name it something awesome .

He locked their drift and then stood from his seat eyeing the viewing window. There appeared to be nothing there, and no evidence of the glowing white light that had cut through the mist before.

“Any radar readout?”

There was a pause followed by a shake of the head, “Sorry, Commander,  nothing, but that cloud is thick and it looks like there's some sort of debris inside as well, which is probably not helping. It might be there and it might not.

He leaned back against his seat with a sigh.

Get me a feed through to the UNSC and the GA.

He didn’t have to wait long before the two feeds were up.

One of them was of the Rundi chairwoman and a small council of other alien species, while the second was the UNSC control room. An admiral he didn’t recognize was heading the operation, but he kept it professional.

“Commander, how are opperatons going on at the black hole. We received some of your images. Truly remarkable; the scientific community is thrilled.”

“Yes commander, you are the first to dare venture this close to a singularity. I worry but it is remarkable.” The Chairwoman agreed.

He held up a hand, “I…. well yes, of course, but I am afraid our focus has been momentarily diverted for the moment.”

“What could be so interesting as to temporarily divert you from a black hole.”

He turned his head towards the admiral, “Space dragons, sir.”

There was a pause 

“What is a dragon?” The chairwoman ased.

The Admiral opened and closed his mouth like a suffocating fish.

The commander rested his hands in his lap, “Approximately two hours ago, while piloting one of our jets, I noticed an inconsistency with the way the dust was being settled in this particular system. There was movement where there should have been none. I called in for backup, and we went to investigate. When we got there the dust parted momentarily enough for us to see a creature. This thing could easily have wrapped itself around a GA imperial Cruiser. It has a very long, thin body, no legs or arms. It’s head is the head of a predator, a snout, lots of teeth and some horns.

On its back there are two ridges that, when opened look like flowing white tarps. Somehow the creature can harden these tarps to create solar sales which it uses to move, sort of like a starborn.

“Is this some kind of joke, Commander.”

“No sir, I wouldn’t be so dumb as to joke about something so unbelievable. I am sending you the video feed now so you can see for yourself. The quality is not good but we have moved further into the system with the main ship to see if we can get a better look as I assume sentient life trump's phenomena we have known about for more than two thousand years.

The admiral sighed, “yes, I suppose it does.” 

The GA chairwoman only nodded her head, “Do what you must commander, and be careful. Try not to make the creature angry.”

“Yes, Chairwoman.” He cut the feed and leaned back in his seat.

“No duch.” He stood from his seat, “Like I was planning on pissing off the massive ass space dragon.” His sarcasm went mostly unheard and he finally turned to look towards his second lieutenant, “Lt. Take command, and call me down if you see anything.”

The Lt Stood and commander Vir stepped aside for her to take his seat as he turned and walked for the room.

The halls were mostly empty as the ship was technically past working hours. 

He rubbed his temples again dragging his hands down his face.

Today had been an eventful day, more than he had wanted it to be, and he hadn’t forgotten the reason he had been driven into  space to see the creature in the first place. He was going to have to confront that at some point and decide what it meant.

He walked onto the observation deck leaning his back against one of the tables as he stared out at the vast dust cloud backlit by some unseen stars.

He had to think about what to do, though at this moment he was completely blanking on the subject. He had been running from situations like this for as long as he could remember. 

The first time he had ever had any sort of feelings for someone, though granted they were the underdeveloped misunderstood feelings of a teenage boy. He had been burned. He knew it was stupid to hold onto those old issues, but that was a part of him that had just never grown up, it was still a cowering child hiding in the back corner afraid of rejection again.

He leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling.

Just when he thought he was starting to grow as a person, as a man something came back to remind him just how much of a lost child he was.

This time was even different than the last time. That other person initiated the contact, and it was more than clear that she was interested in him, she had admitted that much, so what was wrong with him?

What was the problem?

Well, perhaps a part of him was afraid to prove everyone right. He had been teased for so long about having a weird thing for aliens, and he knew that wasn’t a view that a lot of people were likely to hold on to, but still proving right the people you didn’t like always hurt.

Maybe that was his problem? Maybe he cared too much about how other people saw him?

Another reason why he was still just a child playing at a man’s work.

Was this just him having problems, or did all of humanity feel this way. He felt like that wasn’t the case, every admiral he had ever met seemed like the kind of person who had been born old.

Footsteps behind him on the deck.

He turned his head slightly recognizing the pattern of footsteps as they walked quietly across the observation deck to stand next to him.

Distant white light filtered in through the opening  bathing both of them in a soft halo glow.

Sunny’s blue carapace glittered delicately in the dark as she leaned back against the table to stare out at the darkness with him.

“You ok?” she finally asked 

She shrugged, “Am I ever/”

“Most of the time, actually, yes.” 

He went quiet, reaching down to rub nervously at his prosthetic leg, “Look, I…. Uh…. I’m sorry I bailed on you. That was stupid.”

She shrugged, “I expected as much.”

“Ouch…. Not sure if I should be offended or not.”

She huffed, “if I was trying to offend you I would probably say something about your face. I have a lot more ammunition to work with.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth,”very funny, especially coming from someone who looks like you”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Of what, you two toed four finger monstrocity.”

“Cute, are we picking pet names now. I can call you fleshy, or cyclops or peg leg.”

“That’s Captain Peg leg to you. Captain Peg leg the blond beard space pirate.”

“Captain Jackass the one eyed lunatic.” She said elbowing him in the ribs.  He grunted and elbowed her back, an action which quickly devolved into a slap fight, that Sunny inevitably won because she had more hands.

The play fighting died down leaving him staring out into space and eyeing the dust cloud. She watched hi with some curiosity, “What is a dragon?”

“A legendary monster in human lore. It goes back thousands of years and has origins in hundreds of human cultures. A dragon sort of takes the shape of a lizard, but with wings, and a hundred to a thousand times larger. Sometimes they have massive wings, and generally they can breathe fire.”

“Like a flamethrower.”

He smiled, “Exactly, they are usually connected to power and wisdom.”

“Did these dragons ever exist?” she wondered.

“Not as far as anyone knew.” he motioned to the window, “but I guess we were kind of right.”

A pulse of light lit up the interior of the cloud.

Sunny and Adam stepped forward staring intently at the window.

The light happened again growing brighter and brighter. Dust puffed outward from the cloud.

Sunny pressed her hands against the viewing window in awe as the cosmic creature looped from within the clouds, its long body rotating in great spirals loops and acrs as it twisted through space.

Light rolled up and down it’s blue scaled body seeping through the cracks in it’s scales. The smaller silver dragon curled and uncurled about it’s neck as it rolled through space, like a ribbon at the end of a ribbon dancer’s wand.

It’s beauty, and the silence cast them into  a dull glow.

As silhouettes in the darkness. 

[letterboxd]

How I Letterboxd #12: Joe Lynch.

Self-described cinedork and Mayhem filmmaker Joe Lynch tells Horrorville’s Brett Petersel about cinematic sausage, getting to direct Creepshow episodes and being a three-star starter on Letterboxd.

“Even when I watch what I would think is a real stinker, I also consider that there were many people involved in that film who didn’t walk on set going ‘okay people, let’s screw this up today!’” —Joe Lynch

It is always a pleasure to find film directors lurking on Letterboxd. Joe Lynch is a bona fide, OG member, having racked up more than 1,500 diary entries, giving half-star reviews to his own work, and creating lists of the movies that have influenced the making of his films.

There are the films that were in Lynch’s subconscious when he made Mayhem, a workplace splatter led by Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving. There are the movies he watched while researching the Salma Hayek-starring Everly. And this just in: films that influenced The Right Snuff, one of Lynch’s two episodes for the new Creepshow series—based on the 1982 horror-comedy classic and its sequels—which premieres on Shudder April 15.

Like so many of us, Lynch took time during the pandemic to catch up on films he had neglected to watch in spite of a previous career as a video-store clerk (a Criterion Channel subscription helped him get on top of the backlog). In this edition of ‘How I Letterboxd’, Lynch discusses how those classics have informed his craft, who his Letterboxd faves are, and why the horror genre is the future of the industry.

Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving in Joe Lynch’s ‘Mayhem’ (2017).

How long have you been on Letterboxd? Joe Lynch: I remember when Letterboxd was in its beta phase way back in good ol’ 2012 and I couldn’t wait to sign up, breathlessly waiting for an invite to the party. At the time, I had a digital database where I would log movies I’ve seen, but it was always subject to whatever laptop or device I had handy and would just be a mess of titles with no rhyme or reason.

When a member follows you, what should they expect? I put it right up top in my description: “I am not a critic”, just a lover of cinema. At first I didn’t want to write “reviews” in the description, especially since I first started using the service whilst in the throes of a horrible experience making a film that I thought would bury me and I’d never work again. I was like, and I still feel this way, “who am I to rip on a movie when someone can throw it right back at me? Like ‘dude, you directed Knights of Badassdom, sit down’.”

I’ve always had the highest regard for filmmakers who can get anything made. So even when I watch what I would think is a real stinker, I also consider that there were many people involved in that film who didn’t walk on set going “okay people, let’s screw this up today!” but instead were trying their best and circumstances just got in the way, which always happens. Having made a few films and TV now, I’m fully aware of the trials and tribulations that go into making a movie and have all the respect in the world for anyone who can steer that ship to completion. It’s hard making movies and even harder making one that is your original vision [and] that is widely embraced by an audience.

I have very weird tastes so don’t be shocked if you glance at my recent activity and you see Casablanca, The Silence of the Lambs or Bigger Than Life right next to The Legend of Billie Jean, Con Air or Candyman 3. I’m usually bouncing all over the place in terms of what kinds of movies I’m screening. From films recommended to me, to films that I may be watching for research, or even just how I’m feeling that day and maybe need a good laugh or a good cry or to be scared stiff. I like that kind of variety. There’s something out there for everyone and every emotion. If anything, I’d say expect the unexpected when it comes to my viewing habits.

What’s your favorite feature to use and why? One of the residual effects of working at video stores as a kid was my desire to siphon people’s tastes in movies and possibly recommend films to others as well, so my favorite feature is the ease of use in logging films and being able to quickly recall those films as well in the event someone asks me “what’s something I should watch?”. Getting older, the “employee’s picks” in my head is getting a little harder to cross-reference than usual so to have the ability to whip out my phone and say “oh man, I just watched Possession and it was awesome!” is exponentially helpful to a cinedork like myself.

‘Big Trouble in Little China’ (1986)—a five-star film says Joe Lynch.

How do you rate the films you watch? For example, what type of film is worthy of a five-star review? Funny, I always start out on three-stars mainly because I’m so proud of the filmmakers actually getting it completed! I’ve been there! I’m somewhat biased in my reflections because I’m always rooting for the artists and from there, it’s usually gauged on both an emotional level and a technical level. I always get made fun of while watching movies because I can point out hidden cuts or when a shot is reversed but [I’m] not trying to point out flaws, it's just how my brain is wired at this point. When you pull the curtain back enough to see how the cinematic sausage is made, it's harder and harder to objectively watch a movie without trying to dissect how it was done. I try so hard to shut that part of my brain off to just passively enjoy a movie but it’s tough. I usually skew towards the positive.

The films I’ve given five-stars are movies that have continually affected me over the years and have inspired me as a person and a filmmaker, which is everything from The Empire Strikes Back, Dawn of the Dead and When Harry Met Sally... to Big Trouble in Little China, The Blob, The Last of the Mohicans. I looked back at my five-stars and it’s mostly movies that made a significant impression on me from an early age and continue to do so, maybe even more so as I get older and I view these movies in a different light.

The anthology show Creepshow returns to Shudder this month. Tell us about the two episodes you directed for the series, ‘Pipe Screams’ and ‘The Right Snuff’. Both Creepshow and Creepshow 2 were important films in my youth and even today, they were some of the first movies I remember where I wasn’t quite sure if I was supposed to be scared or laugh. These films proclaimed we could do both! As a disciple of George A. Romero, Stephen King and Tom Savini, Creepshow really shaped how I watched movies and how I made them—consider the anthology I did a few years back, Chillerama, as a prime example. So when Shudder announced the show, I had to do everything on my part to convince them I could take the baton from these masters of the macabre and do them and the many fans proud.

To come to the table and say “I want ‘The Right Snuff’ to feel like 2001: A Space Odyssey crashed into The Andromeda Strain, and ‘Pipe Screams’ is my homage to The Blob and Delicatessen”—and then everyone just immediately getting it—was a dream. Between the casts I was lucky enough to work with and the amazing crew, especially the FX geniuses at KNB, it really was one of those dream jobs I’ll never forget. I hope audiences dig the madness we conjured up on those!

Season 2 of the Shudder series ‘Creepshow�� returns to the horror streamer this month. A third season has been ordered.

If you were to expand the Mayhem universe, what would it look like? We tried! I pitched the producers the idea of the ID-7 virus in other locations and situations because in essence the idea of being uninhibited by mental and emotional constraints is so ripe. My favorite was the idea that it would get loose in a Wal-Mart or a mall on Black Friday when consumers swarm to these department stores for the best deals. You’ve seen the videos, it’s just mass hysteria. The footage already out there would have been perfect to use already and those people aren’t even infected!

Sadly it didn’t come to pass, mainly because they asked “how do we get Steven and Samara back?” and I didn’t want to force those characters into that scenario, Die Hard 2 style. Plus they’re both huge stars now and likely unavailable for the next twelve years. But the ideas people have thrown out to me show that it was impactful enough to warrant variant scenarios in a “what if?” way that’s really exciting. Who knows, maybe the ID-7 virus could find its way onto the set of a movie production…

What excites you about the future of filmmaking, especially in horror films? The world is embracing new faces and voices more than ever and it means we’re getting stories that may not have ever had the chance to flourish and be seen and heard before. For the longest time the system was much more rigid because executives and producers thought that the audience was much less accepting of a wider world view in cinema and I think the last ten years has proven them wrong. There shouldn’t be any more “token” character or “strong [insert non-white-male] character” descriptions in development meetings. I hear it less and less, which is great because that’s not our world and since cinema—especially horror—is and always should be a reflection of our culture and times, it should reflect these evolutions as well.

When I made Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, the discussions over how one of the characters—a Black character played by Texas Battle—survived at the end was not in the original script but I pushed for it mainly because it was rare for the Black character to do so in a horror film. That shouldn’t be an anomaly! Why can’t there be a ‘final guy’ or have the survivors be LGBT+ or a POC and not the usual stereotypes?

I think now it’s more commonplace to see this and it excites me for the future of the genre that artists are being more welcome to express themselves without it feeling like it’s a gimmick or a twist on the norm.

I think generations of kids growing up with horror now are gonna see these strides in the storytelling—and who’s telling the stories—and push it even further. Places like Netflix and Shudder are willing to take chances with new voices more than the studio system, now more than ever, and that’s only going to produce some great stories now and in the future.

Erica Leehrsen and Texas Battle in a scene from ‘Wrong Turn 2: Dead End’ (2007).

How has the pandemic affected your creativity and influenced your work moving forward? Aside from losing a bunch of gigs due to the shutdown and being delayed on shooting Creepshow—which was a blessing in disguise considering the time we took to further develop the scripts and design of each episode—one of the main effects of the pandemic was how it gave many of us the time to catch up on a lot of films, mainly older ones. As you’d see from my diary entries on this very site, my viewing habits changed from a lot of modern films in that rat-race of catching up with the latest release, to mainly watching films I loved in the past and a lot of ’40s to ’70s films that I never got around to.

We have the tendency as film lovers to keep a mental list of films we’ll eventually get around to as if we have all the time in the world, but with the threat of the apocalypse and no real new content coming our way at the usual rapid clip, it was so gratifying to buy an annual subscription to Criterion Channel and start watching films like The Old Dark House, The Crimson Kimono, Contempt and many others.

All of these films impacted how I view film now and have bled into future projects I’m working on—especially on the technical side, when the world wasn’t influenced vicariously through MTV coverage and letting scenes play out in masters or longer takes, relishing in the performance or the mise-en-scéne. So, silver linings!

Before we go, who are some of your favorite follows on Letterboxd? I’m a big fan of Sean Baker, who I’ve known for almost 20 years now! We worked together in NYC and I was already a big Greg the Bunny fan but our mutual appreciation for fringe and exploitation films, especially international horror and genre films, seems to have bonded us for life. I love when he posts what he’s watching. Even if he’s just saying he screened something on Blu or streaming, his thoughts on cinema are always enjoyable and engaging.

In the same breath, filmmaker Jim Cummings has the best perspective on modern filmmaking and he’s clearly a big fan of using Letterboxd, so whenever I see peers like them using the app it makes me feel less like an obsessive movie dork myself, who should be getting back to work.

Some of the other follows I really enjoy are cineastes like Elric Kane and Brian Saur, who are the hosts of the New Beverly podcast Pure Cinema. Writers Anya Stanley, David Chen, Walter Chaw and Lindsay Blair Goeldner, musician and filmmaker Brendon Small, writer and critic Brian Tallerico, author Glenn Kenny, filmmaker Rodman Flender—just to name a few people who clearly love film and love sharing their thoughts on films in a very thoughtful way.

More times than not, I’m getting some great advice for what to watch next in my “new from friends” section! Because, like being at the video store, it’s casual conversations like the ones on Letterboxd that I love and always steering me to new films or revisiting old ones with a new perspective.

Related content

Joe’s film influences for ‘The Right Snuff’ Creepshow episode

The Video Store: Hollie Horror’s list of horror films with memorable scenes in video stores

Office Workplace Horror: J Cara’s list of office horror and workplace thrillers

Follow Brett on Letterboxd

Follow Horrorville—the home for horror on Letterboxd

[torixus]

The Real Truth behind Yahoo Boys Using The Panties Of Ladies For Rituals

The panties of a popular American video vixen and model, Symba and that of her friend were reportedly stolen at a hotel in Lekki, Lagos State by one of the hotel cleaners. File Photo In the month of October, 2018, a young man with dreadlocks who claimed to be abroad raised an alarm about internet fraudsters doing rituals with the panties of ladies to spiritually empower them to enjoy easy windfalls from scams.' According to him, the panties were sold at the black market from the price range of N200,000 to N350,000 depending on how much residues/body fluids they contained. Only a few people took him serious. Netizens laughed about it in the comment section of the Instagram page. A few days later, the man's revelation started gaining traction in the media. Reports of people stealing panties from washing lines started emerging with confessions made by culprits mostly in the face of jungle justice. In December, the panties of a popular American video vixen and model, Symba and that of her friend were reportedly stolen at the Villa Thirty Three Hotel in Lekki, Lagos State by one of the hotel cleaners. She raised the alarm on social media and immediately, the ladies got the message that the desperate hunt for their panties was real. The internet fraudsters who are majorly young men were fingered in the diabolic act of wicked ritualism. According to reports, the implication of this is that the victim whose panties were used for rituals might fall sick, die mysteriously, run mad or be bewitched with ill-luck till her last day on earth. The situation seems worse in Delta State with gunmen allegedly robbing women of their underwear. But how true are these stories? Hope they are not one of these periodic social media hoaxes that are click baits set by bloggers and online journalists hungry for traffic? Nigeria’s social media space and its penchant for fake news Nigerians have an unimpressive record of wilfully spreading fake and odd news. A section of the country once spread rumours that there was a sinister plan by the ruling All Progressives Congress to islamize Nigeria and turn it into a country like Turkey. You can also remember how rumours emanated from the South-East geo-political zone in 2017 that the Nigerian Army was using a medical exercise to inject poison/monkeypox virus into the people to depopulate the South-East against the 2019 general election. We have also heard unfounded claims of people picking monies on the ground and turning into yam tubers or other objects which are easily stashed away but the culprits who planted it. What about the issue of 'killer phone number or phone call'? A strange number calls your line and immediately you respond to the call, you start to vomit blood and die. Another close one that was popular in Ibadan where this reporter grew up is 'manhood theft'. A stranger will accost you in public space to ask for direction and the next minute after your response, your manhood shrinks. Just of late, people believe there are piggy banks (kolo) that are laced with juju. The money saved in them will gradually disappear without your knowledge. All these and many more are spread from mouth to mouth and on social media with people taking it hook line and sinker without any empirical evidence. But the moment you try to verify the report, the proponents feel uneasy due to lack of substance and begin to retrace their steps. As the story of a lady who vomited naira notes at the Effurun market area of Uvwie local government area of Warri, Delta State after her pant was allegedly stolen at her residence few weeks ago pervaded the internet space, fear gripped female folks especially the ones who discreetly sell their bodies on the internet. Wearing panties to the house of a man you don’t trust has become a high risk. People became vigilant about the young men with unsubstantiated sources of wealth in their neighbourhoods also called the ‘Benz or Nothing Boys’ on social media due to their affinity with exotic Mercedes Benz automobiles. Using the panties of ladies isn’t part of our line of trade – Yahoo Boys As this reporter enjoyed the ambience of the Lagos-Ibadan expressway on his way back to his home-city for the Yuletide, he thought about the panties rituals and was determined to get to the root of the issue due to the fact that most of the journalists who have worked on the stories lack optimism in their reportage. Yahoo Boys are not ghosts, they live around us. We grew up with some of them. They share their scam escapades and proceeds at beer parlours, club houses and social gatherings in the midst of like-minds. They are very approachable as long as you are not a security operative and the principle of confidentiality is assured. I got a couple of phone numbers and started to set up interviews with them on the craze of panties being used for black magic. It was a very herculean task but funny enough the Yahoo Boys I spoke with were willing to talk. I even got referrals to other fraudsters for necessary information. To my greatest shock, the several seemingly established ‘hustlers’ as they call themselves claimed to have heard the rumours on social media. Most of them admitted that internet fraud had taken a spiritual dimension a long time ago but the issue of panties being used at the detriment of the owner was out of place. “Your questions are very funny; I haven’t heard such news of the pant ritual on the street (among friends). just like you, I read it online. I know boys do juju so that their magas (victims) could pay big cash on time but the reported fate of the victims is synonymous to pure blood money” a suspected scammer of South-east descent who spoke under the condition of anonymity told this reporter. Not satisfied, the reporter was able to set up a meeting with another young man in his early thirties who is in the illicit business. He paraded one of the latest iPhones, Apple laptop, jewelleries. He spoke to this reporter with a wrap of weed on one hand, a mixture of unknown alcoholic substance on the other with mostly ladies constantly interrupting the brief interview with phone calls. After being assured of his safety a second time, he slowly started singing like a bird. “I can boldly tell you that most of the guys out there are pure ritualists and not Yahoo Boys. They know nothing about this work. My old friend who has no email address bought a Maserati car worth N60 million. I don’t know if you know the car....he is based in South Africa. I have asked him to give me tips for work but his brain is empty. People close to him have told me that he only uses his laptop for Facebook. I suspect pure blood money as he isn’t doing drugs. He comes to Nigeria periodically maybe to renew his jazz (hoodoo). People will think such a guy is doing Yahoo but I doubt bro. That’s the problem we are dealing with” he said. When probed further about the infusion of black magic with internet scam, he admitted that voodoo plays a huge role in the criminal industry. “I nor fit lie you, juju dey and people dey use am wella. Most of these herbalists have a book of spells and they can make such charms to jinx white people. The problem is that most of them are fake. I have done some in the past but they never worked for me. I still believe in pure hard work and I know very successful guys in Lagos who own properties here and there doing fraud without juju” he added. He further explained that some herbalists use human skulls recovered from burial grounds, tongues of human beings, breasts and other parts to make potions. According to his account, these materials are grinded into power to make soaps, drinks or food for the scammer and a procedure is followed to bring good luck. He accused the “Benz Boy” of indulging in that level of fraud to cater for their flamboyant lifestyles. This reporter also spoke with another very wealthy young man, an Osun State native in his mid thirties who shuttles between Nigeria and Malaysia. He is happily married with two kids. He owns several cars, landed properties and businesses used as fronts for fraud. He abruptly denied having any knowledge of the panties ritual. “Internet scam has been around in Nigeria for almost two decades now and the issue of panties of women being used for money never came up until recently. What is so special about the panties of ladies? I’m in touch with guys and I have never met or heard of one using the panties of ladies to attract goodwill. That’s pure blood money and my mind tells me the politicians might be involved. This is an election season and desperate politicians need spiritual powers to play dirty politics” he alleged. This reporter came close to making a breakthrough in meeting two victims of the panties wizardry when he spoke with one partly uncooperative hustler around the Ologuneru area of Ibadan who initially insulted the reporter. On being quizzed on the issue, he mocked the journalist during the telephone interview. “Guy you dey mad oh!, which kain question be this one na? Who tell you say I dey press?” he asked amid laughter. When the journalist explained the objective of the investigation to him and how he had spoken with his colleagues with much progress made, he toned down his utterances. “I have never seen any guy using the pants of ladies. Apart from what we read on Instablog (Nigeria’s popular microblog on Instagram), no one has ever informed me that it’s the new method of making cash or that someone he knows is involved. The reports are very strange to us. Most of the guys doing such are into blood money and not Yahoo Yahoo. I can assure you. Thats all I know” he said. He later called this reporter to tell him about two ladies whose panties were reportedly used for rituals. According to the rumours he heard, the young ladies slept with the big boys for money and ended up in the hands of the ritualists. He was told the ladies started falling sick later on with their bodies shrinking and oozing a foul smell. All efforts to speak with the purported victims failed as people contacted had uneasily feelings about the reportage. Youths now follow Ifa (West African religion and system of divination) for financial benefits The reporter also met a 25-year old alumnus of the Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomoso. The school is famed for housing some of the most notorious fraudsters in the South-western part of the country. Segun Quadri (not real name) drives a Lexus 350 jeep; he has built his own house and has invested in fish farming. He has a start-up that sells fish feed on a large-scale. He looks so innocent and no one would ever suspect he is into to internet fraud. He also claimed ignorance about the panties voodoo. “I don’t believe any Yahoo Boy is using the panties of any woman. It’s all fake news. Most of the stories are hard to prove. The major problem is that most people are now into money-making rituals. That is not internet fraud. There are some rituals that you will do to prosper whatever you lay your hands on. On the conclusion of the spiritual exercise, the native doctor asks you to go start any business. Even if it means selling ordinary slippers, you will become rich and famous from that cheap venture” Segun narrated as he swung his car keys in the air as if he was coordinating a group of choristers in a church. “People in Lagos are now ‘doing Ifa’, the process is very deep and hard to explain. It’s like joining a secret cult. When you do, worshipping Ifa becomes your second religion. It doesn’t disturb the first one. It’s like joining the illuminati. You just have to admit that you now have a second god in your life” he added. His narration reminded the reporter of one popular and super rich suspected internet fraudster named Femi at the Jericho area of Ibadan of Ibadan who was purportedly caught performing a ritual in the middle of the night at a three-way junction. According to reports, he was dressed in all-white clothes. The suspect later admitted openly that he is an Ifa worshipper who has refused to align with Christianity or Islam. The reporter asked him if these Ifa faithful he described are engaged in rituals in the class of what Femi did and he affirmatively said no. “You don’t have to perform such rituals except you need certain powers. These Ifa faithful are given some fetish structures they simply worship in their houses. Mostly, they are given a calabash containing other spiritual materials. You will pray on it and pour a quantity of palm oil inside of it as part of the rites involved. The palm oil is expected to dry up before the day ends. This in turn brings good luck to the worshiper” he said. When asked about clues to identifying members of the Ifa confraternity, he spoke further; “Some of these Ifa members only wear white dresses. Their cars are white, houses have the same colour and most of their belongings. They will tell you they have some sort of obsession with that colour but it’s not true. Most of them have forbidden food materials like fish, snail, pig, cow meat and others. Eating these has become a taboo for them. Their wealth could cease if they break the rules” he emphatically stated. After enjoying Segun’s utmost cooperation, the reporter felt indebted and couldn’t summon courage to ask him about his personal involvement in black magic. Rumours have it that his early success might have come directly from the devil’s altar. People are truly using the panties of women for juju – native doctor A native doctor who also spoke on the issue under the condition of anonymity due to its sensitive nature claims the panties of female folks are actually being utilized by unscrupulous elements for rituals. According to him, it’s a very potent source of the Midas touch in life. “The panties of women are actually being used by Yahoo Boys. The panties work for different things depending on the wish of the person in question. It’s capable of unlocking the destiny of the ritualist. He stands a good chance of being prosperous in whatever he lays his hands on be it business or internet scam. I will not lie to you, people are indeed using the underwear of women for rituals” he said. Written exclusively for Tori News by Osayimwen Osahon George via Blogger http://bit.ly/2rZvLO5

[torixus]

The Real Truth behind Yahoo Boys Using The Panties Of Ladies For Rituals

The panties of a popular American video vixen and model, Symba and that of her friend were reportedly stolen at a hotel in Lekki, Lagos State by one of the hotel cleaners. File Photo In the month of October, 2018, a young man with dreadlocks who claimed to be abroad raised an alarm about internet fraudsters doing rituals with the panties of ladies to spiritually empower them to enjoy easy windfalls from scams.' According to him, the panties were sold at the black market from the price range of N200,000 to N350,000 depending on how much residues/body fluids they contained. Only a few people took him serious. Netizens laughed about it in the comment section of the Instagram page. A few days later, the man's revelation started gaining traction in the media. Reports of people stealing panties from washing lines started emerging with confessions made by culprits mostly in the face of jungle justice. In December, the panties of a popular American video vixen and model, Symba and that of her friend were reportedly stolen at the Villa Thirty Three Hotel in Lekki, Lagos State by one of the hotel cleaners. She raised the alarm on social media and immediately, the ladies got the message that the desperate hunt for their panties was real. The internet fraudsters who are majorly young men were fingered in the diabolic act of wicked ritualism. According to reports, the implication of this is that the victim whose panties were used for rituals might fall sick, die mysteriously, run mad or be bewitched with ill-luck till her last day on earth. The situation seems worse in Delta State with gunmen allegedly robbing women of their underwear. But how true are these stories? Hope they are not one of these periodic social media hoaxes that are click baits set by bloggers and online journalists hungry for traffic? Nigeria’s social media space and its penchant for fake news Nigerians have an unimpressive record of wilfully spreading fake and odd news. A section of the country once spread rumours that there was a sinister plan by the ruling All Progressives Congress to islamize Nigeria and turn it into a country like Turkey. You can also remember how rumours emanated from the South-East geo-political zone in 2017 that the Nigerian Army was using a medical exercise to inject poison/monkeypox virus into the people to depopulate the South-East against the 2019 general election. We have also heard unfounded claims of people picking monies on the ground and turning into yam tubers or other objects which are easily stashed away but the culprits who planted it. What about the issue of 'killer phone number or phone call'? A strange number calls your line and immediately you respond to the call, you start to vomit blood and die. Another close one that was popular in Ibadan where this reporter grew up is 'manhood theft'. A stranger will accost you in public space to ask for direction and the next minute after your response, your manhood shrinks. Just of late, people believe there are piggy banks (kolo) that are laced with juju. The money saved in them will gradually disappear without your knowledge. All these and many more are spread from mouth to mouth and on social media with people taking it hook line and sinker without any empirical evidence. But the moment you try to verify the report, the proponents feel uneasy due to lack of substance and begin to retrace their steps. As the story of a lady who vomited naira notes at the Effurun market area of Uvwie local government area of Warri, Delta State after her pant was allegedly stolen at her residence few weeks ago pervaded the internet space, fear gripped female folks especially the ones who discreetly sell their bodies on the internet. Wearing panties to the house of a man you don’t trust has become a high risk. People became vigilant about the young men with unsubstantiated sources of wealth in their neighbourhoods also called the ‘Benz or Nothing Boys’ on social media due to their affinity with exotic Mercedes Benz automobiles. Using the panties of ladies isn’t part of our line of trade – Yahoo Boys As this reporter enjoyed the ambience of the Lagos-Ibadan expressway on his way back to his home-city for the Yuletide, he thought about the panties rituals and was determined to get to the root of the issue due to the fact that most of the journalists who have worked on the stories lack optimism in their reportage. Yahoo Boys are not ghosts, they live around us. We grew up with some of them. They share their scam escapades and proceeds at beer parlours, club houses and social gatherings in the midst of like-minds. They are very approachable as long as you are not a security operative and the principle of confidentiality is assured. I got a couple of phone numbers and started to set up interviews with them on the craze of panties being used for black magic. It was a very herculean task but funny enough the Yahoo Boys I spoke with were willing to talk. I even got referrals to other fraudsters for necessary information. To my greatest shock, the several seemingly established ‘hustlers’ as they call themselves claimed to have heard the rumours on social media. Most of them admitted that internet fraud had taken a spiritual dimension a long time ago but the issue of panties being used at the detriment of the owner was out of place. “Your questions are very funny; I haven’t heard such news of the pant ritual on the street (among friends). just like you, I read it online. I know boys do juju so that their magas (victims) could pay big cash on time but the reported fate of the victims is synonymous to pure blood money” a suspected scammer of South-east descent who spoke under the condition of anonymity told this reporter. Not satisfied, the reporter was able to set up a meeting with another young man in his early thirties who is in the illicit business. He paraded one of the latest iPhones, Apple laptop, jewelleries. He spoke to this reporter with a wrap of weed on one hand, a mixture of unknown alcoholic substance on the other with mostly ladies constantly interrupting the brief interview with phone calls. After being assured of his safety a second time, he slowly started singing like a bird. “I can boldly tell you that most of the guys out there are pure ritualists and not Yahoo Boys. They know nothing about this work. My old friend who has no email address bought a Maserati car worth N60 million. I don’t know if you know the car....he is based in South Africa. I have asked him to give me tips for work but his brain is empty. People close to him have told me that he only uses his laptop for Facebook. I suspect pure blood money as he isn’t doing drugs. He comes to Nigeria periodically maybe to renew his jazz (hoodoo). People will think such a guy is doing Yahoo but I doubt bro. That’s the problem we are dealing with” he said. When probed further about the infusion of black magic with internet scam, he admitted that voodoo plays a huge role in the criminal industry. “I nor fit lie you, juju dey and people dey use am wella. Most of these herbalists have a book of spells and they can make such charms to jinx white people. The problem is that most of them are fake. I have done some in the past but they never worked for me. I still believe in pure hard work and I know very successful guys in Lagos who own properties here and there doing fraud without juju” he added. He further explained that some herbalists use human skulls recovered from burial grounds, tongues of human beings, breasts and other parts to make potions. According to his account, these materials are grinded into power to make soaps, drinks or food for the scammer and a procedure is followed to bring good luck. He accused the “Benz Boy” of indulging in that level of fraud to cater for their flamboyant lifestyles. This reporter also spoke with another very wealthy young man, an Osun State native in his mid thirties who shuttles between Nigeria and Malaysia. He is happily married with two kids. He owns several cars, landed properties and businesses used as fronts for fraud. He abruptly denied having any knowledge of the panties ritual. “Internet scam has been around in Nigeria for almost two decades now and the issue of panties of women being used for money never came up until recently. What is so special about the panties of ladies? I’m in touch with guys and I have never met or heard of one using the panties of ladies to attract goodwill. That’s pure blood money and my mind tells me the politicians might be involved. This is an election season and desperate politicians need spiritual powers to play dirty politics” he alleged. This reporter came close to making a breakthrough in meeting two victims of the panties wizardry when he spoke with one partly uncooperative hustler around the Ologuneru area of Ibadan who initially insulted the reporter. On being quizzed on the issue, he mocked the journalist during the telephone interview. “Guy you dey mad oh!, which kain question be this one na? Who tell you say I dey press?” he asked amid laughter. When the journalist explained the objective of the investigation to him and how he had spoken with his colleagues with much progress made, he toned down his utterances. “I have never seen any guy using the pants of ladies. Apart from what we read on Instablog (Nigeria’s popular microblog on Instagram), no one has ever informed me that it’s the new method of making cash or that someone he knows is involved. The reports are very strange to us. Most of the guys doing such are into blood money and not Yahoo Yahoo. I can assure you. Thats all I know” he said. He later called this reporter to tell him about two ladies whose panties were reportedly used for rituals. According to the rumours he heard, the young ladies slept with the big boys for money and ended up in the hands of the ritualists. He was told the ladies started falling sick later on with their bodies shrinking and oozing a foul smell. All efforts to speak with the purported victims failed as people contacted had uneasily feelings about the reportage. Youths now follow Ifa (West African religion and system of divination) for financial benefits The reporter also met a 25-year old alumnus of the Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomoso. The school is famed for housing some of the most notorious fraudsters in the South-western part of the country. Segun Quadri (not real name) drives a Lexus 350 jeep; he has built his own house and has invested in fish farming. He has a start-up that sells fish feed on a large-scale. He looks so innocent and no one would ever suspect he is into to internet fraud. He also claimed ignorance about the panties voodoo. “I don’t believe any Yahoo Boy is using the panties of any woman. It’s all fake news. Most of the stories are hard to prove. The major problem is that most people are now into money-making rituals. That is not internet fraud. There are some rituals that you will do to prosper whatever you lay your hands on. On the conclusion of the spiritual exercise, the native doctor asks you to go start any business. Even if it means selling ordinary slippers, you will become rich and famous from that cheap venture” Segun narrated as he swung his car keys in the air as if he was coordinating a group of choristers in a church. “People in Lagos are now ‘doing Ifa’, the process is very deep and hard to explain. It’s like joining a secret cult. When you do, worshipping Ifa becomes your second religion. It doesn’t disturb the first one. It’s like joining the illuminati. You just have to admit that you now have a second god in your life” he added. His narration reminded the reporter of one popular and super rich suspected internet fraudster named Femi at the Jericho area of Ibadan of Ibadan who was purportedly caught performing a ritual in the middle of the night at a three-way junction. According to reports, he was dressed in all-white clothes. The suspect later admitted openly that he is an Ifa worshipper who has refused to align with Christianity or Islam. The reporter asked him if these Ifa faithful he described are engaged in rituals in the class of what Femi did and he affirmatively said no. “You don’t have to perform such rituals except you need certain powers. These Ifa faithful are given some fetish structures they simply worship in their houses. Mostly, they are given a calabash containing other spiritual materials. You will pray on it and pour a quantity of palm oil inside of it as part of the rites involved. The palm oil is expected to dry up before the day ends. This in turn brings good luck to the worshiper” he said. When asked about clues to identifying members of the Ifa confraternity, he spoke further; “Some of these Ifa members only wear white dresses. Their cars are white, houses have the same colour and most of their belongings. They will tell you they have some sort of obsession with that colour but it’s not true. Most of them have forbidden food materials like fish, snail, pig, cow meat and others. Eating these has become a taboo for them. Their wealth could cease if they break the rules” he emphatically stated. After enjoying Segun’s utmost cooperation, the reporter felt indebted and couldn’t summon courage to ask him about his personal involvement in black magic. Rumours have it that his early success might have come directly from the devil’s altar. People are truly using the panties of women for juju – native doctor A native doctor who also spoke on the issue under the condition of anonymity due to its sensitive nature claims the panties of female folks are actually being utilized by unscrupulous elements for rituals. According to him, it’s a very potent source of the Midas touch in life. “The panties of women are actually being used by Yahoo Boys. The panties work for different things depending on the wish of the person in question. It’s capable of unlocking the destiny of the ritualist. He stands a good chance of being prosperous in whatever he lays his hands on be it business or internet scam. I will not lie to you, people are indeed using the underwear of women for rituals” he said. Written exclusively for Tori News by Osayimwen Osahon George via Blogger http://bit.ly/2rZvLO5