#is something that will never hit as hard in a modern romance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xxsycamore · 1 month ago

Text

⊰∙ LUDUS ∙⊱

╰┈➤ Napoleon is your highschool sweetheart, and despite how close the two of you are, you're yet to have your first kiss. Now that you're both out of highschool and even the stress of your college entrance exam is behind you, you can't help focusing on your boyfriend and the things you want to experience with him...

Napoleon Bonaparte x f!Reader • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: Horny Teenagers (they're 18-19 btw!); Modern Era; Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Aged-Down Character(s); First Kiss; French Kissing; Making Out; Awkward Boners; No Sex • wordcount: 3,243 • masterlist

a/n: Here we are. After a whole damn day of thinking about this dream I had, I turned it into a fic. This was also a great chance to explore this dynamic that I really like! Intimacy where nothing feels rushed, even when they are both needy and curious about where it could lead. I really liked the overall nonchalant vibe this whole thing had in my dream and I tried to convey it here as well. Enjoy!

Sitting at the desk in your room, you can't help this subtle feeling of academic responsibility that eats at you. Even if your final year at high school is over now, with your college entrance exam coming up, you can hardly catch your breath. You wish you could be more like Napoleon… He never loses his cool, seemingly breezing through it all just as you always remember him to be. Not that you can be mad at him, especially not when he's been helping you so much with your studies in the past four years. Even before you two started dating.

You've come a long way now, it seems. Your teenage romance started at the very beginning of highschool, back when he caught your eye pretty much from the get-go. He was hard not to notice, anyway, being practically everywhere. The student council, the sports team, the literature club, never not stopping to talk to someone in the corridors, he was not only extremely popular but also good at academics. His only flaw was being extremely late for first class, every single morning, but that never truly affected his grades. You figured it's only to be expected, a busy student like him must be finding it hard to catch up on sleep. Except, when you accidentally found his secret napping spot in the school's attic, he revealed to you that he actually never sleeps less than 8 hours a night. Huh. You'd apologized many times for your intrusion - you figured even social butterflies like him need some alone time - but he still didn't mind you staying with him. This is how you unexpectedly came to know him better, once it became a regular meeting spot for the two of you. There was also this guy, Leonardo, something right between a delinquent and a genius - he'd join you from time to time, going as far as inventing a makeshift detector that would wake you all up in the event of a janitor or someone else approaching your hiding spot. Once you joked about the three of you forming a "napping club", and Napoleon laughed so much he nearly hit his head on the low ceiling. You were surprised, to say the least. Not unpleasantly so, but… it was quite the twist to his otherwise spotless prince charming reputation. From there on, once you discovered how easy is to make Napoleon laugh, it became one of your favorite things to do. Even in inappropriate situations. Especially in inappropriate situations. The dynamic of your friendship slowly changed as his polite side cracked to reveal the devil incarnated underneath, one that ruffles the top of your head and makes a mess out of it every single day. Of course, you didn't back down to him one bit, like a never-ending game of cat and mouse. Until at one point everyone around you knew what was going on, everyone but the two of you.

You'd never seen him as nervous as when he asked you out, but from there on, things between you have been going as smoothly as ever - that's it, if you count getting used to his romantic side first. Napoleon is nothing short of the perfect boyfriend, one that you're still not quite sure you deserve. He's spontaneous, but could very well plan ahead if he wishes to, when it comes to dates. He quickly fills your bedroom with various plushies he gifts you, and never shies away from physical affection either - holding hands, hugging, or just holding you close every chance he gets. And once he caught up on your sweet cravings during your periods, he made it a habit to bring your favorite chocolate when he comes over during those days...

The only thing that keeps you from being constantly head-over-heels for him to the point of not functioning normally is how much of a menace he can be sometimes. An absolute bully. Once again, in the current moment, he's done with his own studies far quicker than you are, and he's messing up with you instead.

"Look up, this time for real. C'mon."

He's standing behind your desk chair, "helping" you with your entrance exam material, but giving you the answers right away seems to be too easy for him. You don't know why you rest your back in your chair and do look up towards him - you don't know why he's in your room, to begin with - and he leans down and kisses your forehead. Just like that.

The soft sensation of his lips against your skin gives you butterflies, and you feel giddy against your own will. You can't help it.

"Don't get distracted now, Nunuche, you almost got it."

His large hands are resting on your shoulders, cupping them, caressing them slowly in something like an encouraging massage. It's like he can't decide if he wants your attention or if he wants to be of genuine help here. You don't remember him being this…needy. But perhaps you shouldn't be so surprised. With the hectic way everything has been the past month or so, forcing the both of you to be serious and responsible, he must be dying to become more lax for a change.

The next time he puts a sneaky kiss on your cheeks, of course, you're again chuckling at him, letting him tear down your concentration bit by bit - maybe it is indeed time for a break - until you feel your heartbeat speeding up with a dangerous thought crawling to your head. It's very bold, and you're not sure how he'd react but…

"Hey, lean over again? Just a little bit more. A liiitle bit—"

Even if it ends up being sort of upside-down, you easily manage to align your faces, and your lips touch Napoleon's. The sensation is somewhere between feather-light and bold enough for both of you to fully register the other's presence lingering there for a second. It's you and Napoleon's first kiss. In the short time you've been dating, the playful friendship between you did come to include those romantic gestures, the dates, the hugs, but somehow it never came to this. Neither felt the need to rush things. It's always been so natural, so you figured he wouldn't mind if your first kiss happened without unnecessary grandeur to it.

Even though he leans right into it without moving for the short duration of it, once the brief touch of his lips is gone you see him hiding his face in the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Utter defeat. You laugh at him, letting the bubbly feeling in your stomach overtake the anxiety. Gods, now only if this prep work would take care of itself...

Time goes by, and at long last, you find yourself sharing the joy of passing your entrance exam, together with Napoleon. As a part of the celebration, you go to the movies that same night. For the first time in a long while, you allow yourself to relax.

But now that your mind is free of one brand of thoughts, it just wants to fill itself with another. It's a cloudy afternoon, the sky darkened in what seems to be an upcoming storm, and you call Napoleon over. This weather simply calls for a nap! Without your favorite attic slash club room, you have to make do with your…what, super comfy bed covered with many pillows and the plushies he bought you? Seems like a bargain. Not that this is the first time Napoleon has been in your bed, the cuddle monster he is, but you haven't taken many naps there yet.

You want to suggest something to him today… It's strange, how anxious you're feeling, looking in the mirror for the tenth time in the past couple of minutes now. You were nervous about picking up your clothes for your nap date too, and ended up with a cutesy spaghetti-strap tank top and a pair of orange booty shorts. Just as you adjust the clothing some more on your hips, the doorbell rings. You rush to it with your bare feet on the cool floor tiles (heck, you really need to warm those up against Napoleon's own feet later!) and practically throw yourself at Napoleon before he even has the chance to take a step inside.

He's so soft to cuddle once he's in your bed, with his cotton black t-shirt and black sweatpants. Like one big teddy bear. The only thing missing is your sleepiness and that is, well, fundamental for the nature of your date. But you know the reason for that fairy well, and you decide to speak up before your boyfriend can fall asleep without you.

"Napoleon, say…"

"Mmm…?"

"How about we… kiss for a little bit? I feel like kissing."

A pair of turquoise eyes stare at you. While he doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve, he doesn't mask his feelings well either. So it's weird that you can't tell what he's thinking right now, as he looks at you. Then he lets out a laugh.

"What's gotten into you?"

So, does he want to do it or does he not…? You breathe in noisily and start to fiddle with the hem of the blanket you're both under.

"Nothing, I just liked it, you know. Kissing you that one time at the desk. I wonder if we could do that again. We don't have to stop at that, even. No, I mean—…!!"

This time fully going into a hearty laughing fit, Napoleon turns on his back and covers his eyes with the back of his arm. He keeps that position even after his laughter dies down.

"By going all the way, you mean like, kissing with tongue?"

"W-Why do you feel the need to say it out loud?!"

You see him peeking at you, head turned to the side. His mouth is still blocked by his hand but you can swear he's smirking. You're starting to regret your suggestion, but not because you don't want to french kiss him, but rather… because you're not sure you can be as nonchalant about this as you planned to be.

"Sure, let's do it. C'mere."

He spreads his arms in invitation, like it's winter again and he's going to give you a nice warm cuddle. You're so used to his touch, his smell, his loud presence, yet you feel shivers when you nestle your head on his bicep. Napoleon tips your chin up, and your noses almost bump with how close you are. After simply staring into each other's eyes for a little bit, Napoleon wheezes and turns his head towards the ceiling again. You furrow your brows.

"Stop messing with me!"

"I'm sorry, Nunuche, it's just— snrk— you're serious about this, aren't you?"

Your legs start feeling restless under the blanket as your blood boils. He's the worst.

"You can just say you don't feel like it! Jeez!"

Before you can completely change your position, Napoleon captures your chin between his thumb and index fingers - firmer than what he did last time - and leans in for a kiss. It's another chaste one. But it's welcomed. It's exactly what you remember sharing with him, what you craved a taste of.

When you withdraw from each other, neither of you keeps their previous expression - no sign of mischief on his or of frustration on your face. You're back to staring at each other, with something akin to need. Something unexplored.

Napoleon's lips come near to yours again, but he waits for you to be ready to close the distance on your own. And you do so, without hesitation. You still want this as much as in the beginning, no, you want it even more now that he provoked you. Napoleon's lips part slightly. The drumming of your heart echoes into your ears as your tongue meets his, and- what are you supposed to do now?

Napoleon chuckles and the sound is so close to you, as if resonating inside your own head. He takes the lead, like he's always done for you - his tongue moving between your lips, prodding them open, caressing. His tongue feels… weird, but it's something you quickly get used to. You don't want to be passive, so you try imitating what he does. Why is he so good at this? Actually, you can't quite judge what's good or bad with your lack of experience. He pulls out, breathing softly while looking at you, checking for reactions from you. You use the chance to ask.

"Have you done this a lot before?"

"What, do you think I've fooled around like this with others? You're my first love, Nunuche, I think I've told you that."

You can only guess it's due to your heart already being put on racing mode that you don't die over his words, but then the realization makes your eyes widen.

"So how do you know what you're doing?"

"I don't. I just do what feels good. Here, let's try again."

You manage to nod before he dives into it again, a little excited almost. You're quicker to open up for him this time, and his warm tongue dances around yours again. While eagerly returning the gesture, your teeth accidentally clank into his. But neither pays too much mind to it, simply continuing. You try to breathe through your nose as much as you can, but you still end up letting out a small noise, a grunt, like you're out of breath. Napoleon always finds it hard not to touch a part of you while you're close - you're almost surprised he kept his hands to himself all the way until now, or maybe that means he's been extra concentrated on what he's doing. Either way, his right hand finds your shoulder, gently caressing it. It's only when he starts nudging you to rise up that you understand his intentions, and you oblige. It's indeed better when you're sitting up in bed instead of lying down. Finding the right position is a bit awkward as you thought you'd be alright sitting on your folded knees, but you need to be even closer, so you end up sitting in his lap. As if pulled by a magnet, you never withdraw from the kiss the whole time until you settle nicely into the new arrangement and it stops mattering altogether.

Napoleon tries something new, sucking on your bottom lip before tugging slightly on it using his teeth. It's playful, and he gives you a second of eye contact and that look in his eyes already makes you want to return the gesture - you've been copying him tit for that all this time, frankly. Exploring each other like that feels good, even if it's strange. Like skipping ten steps ahead, but also like you want to keep making progress. As if there's a secret new technique you're about to discover next, so you have to try it all. Your restless fingers run through the dark hair at the back of his head. You've always found this part of him attractive, and it seems very appropriate to caress him that way right now. He, in turn, grabs your waist with both hands, moving them slowly up and down. It feels nice. You're a bit sensitive, more so than when he normally pets you there and there. Something like a mewl comes out of your lips, and Napoleon sucks on your tongue. It's like he purposedly goes into it harder when it's about time to let go and catch a breath. Doesn't he know you'll just end up making more troubled noises that way…?

You initiate another kiss, all too soon, and his soft pants are hot little huffs of air against your lips when you capture them. He too, makes some noises, you've never heard those, not even when he's short of breath after a practice. Not when he takes you to the local manège on the weekends, riding on the back of his favorite mare there that he takes care of. Your fingers travel further up, where the strands of hair are longer, and you tug a little. Napoleon makes another noise, and your stomach sinks for some reason.

"Is that enough kissing for you, Nunuche?"

You blink your eyes into focus - realizing you had them closed for a few whole minutes now, and the room has gotten quite dark on top of that because of those clouds outside. There's a pout on your lips, even if you never planned to get so into it… But you gotta agree, it's getting a bit too much for your heart already. So you sigh, carefully backing out of his lap.

"Can't believe that got you feeling sleepy! No, don't tell me, I know… It's a five-star rarity type of weather for a nap, right? Can't miss on that."

"You're funny, Nunuche."

The comfort of your bed is welcomed after how stiff your muscles got during your little session. Okay, maybe you are a little sleepy. Or maybe that's because of how long you were out of breath, you must have gotten a little dizzy. Facing away from Napoleon is not too bad, especially now that you're a little shy to look at him, and you're craving for some more familiar kind of touch, one that doesn't make your heart explode. So you nuzzle back into him, nudging him into a spooning position. He seems somewhat hesitant, so you try again… and you feel something hard poking you in the rear. Your face heats up.

"Oh my god, Napoleon, you're—"

"I'm so sorry, I didn’t mean to—"

You feel bad about him apologizing, and worry about him getting the wrong idea because you instantly put some distance between yourself and him in the heat of the moment.

"Please, it's me who should apologize! I suggested this and didn't realize you'd get— um—…Y-You can leave if you want to, you'd probably want to—"

"It's fine, don't think about it, okay? As long as it doesn't bother you, I mean. Or if you want me to leave—"

"I don't! I mean, unless you want to! I'd understand if you need to— take care of it… you know…"

In a rare moment where both you and Napoleon are feeling awkward, not even looking each other in the eye, you don't expect him to laugh, yet here he is.

"W-What's so funny now! Honestly, Napoleon…!"

"Nothing, it's just… You can be so brave with your actions yet you feel shy saying some things out loud. I'm sorry, I just find it cute. Come on, Nunuche, just go to sleep already."

The pout is back on your lips, and in response, you just let out a small "hmph" noise before pulling the blanket up to your nose. Despite having a head full of racing thoughts, you soon find yourself dozing off. In the last moment before you drift to the land of dreams, you sense movement on the bed, and it seems like Napoleon is leaving it. He's out of the room, seemingly going in the direction of the bathroom…? You're not quite sure, because the sound of his footsteps gets lost together with your consciousness. When you wake up later, you wonder if he'd let you kiss him again. Do you have to worry about giving him boners every time you two kiss now? That would be such a shame, you really liked doing that with him...

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @kimi00twin @g-kleran @thesirenwashere @devonares @galaxyprison @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @natimiles @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @groovylita @nightvers @my-day6 Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikevamp napoleon #ikemen napoleon #ikemen vampire fanfic #ikevamp fanfic #ikemen series #ikeseries #otome

33 notes · View notes

invaderzia1 · 2 years ago

Note

scara agrees to a bet to ask out reader but ends up catching feelings 🫢

modern au, slightly ooc kuni

this whole argument would start with someone calling him bitchless, you can’t deny it. like, he has all these girls fawning over his beauty but are absolutely repulsed by his awful personality and steer clear of him. he pretends it doesn’t bother him until his friends start calling him a hopeless virgin, that’s when his pride gets into the way and he agrees to this stupid bet. luckily for him his friends let him pick the person he’ll try to seduce, which happens to be you. he’s seen you on campus a few times and thinks you’ll be an easy target for him. that is until he tries to approach you and you brush him off completely.

okay, ouch. you barely even give him a reason why. but it’s too late, he has to win YOU over for this bet. so he tries again the next day, and the next day, and so on. until you finally crack and let him at least sit with you. almost as if you are doing him a favor, which makes him scowl at the idea.

slowly he finds your walls are being let down and you seem to look forward to eating dinner with him in the campus hall or texting him when you are free. it’s actually quiet nice for him too, having someone who sees his flaws and still lets him close. what’s even better, is that you let him stay in your dorm with you, staying up watching shitty movies and eat take out together.

and then you call him one night, he can tell you’ve been crying by the way you’re voice wavers. usually he finds any kind of emotional connection like this tiring and would just ignore you. but instead he rushes from his dorm to yours and he stays with you. he doesn’t care that you make him watch some stupid cartoon or that you lay your head on his chest and wet his t shirt with your tears, all that matters is that he helps you in some way feel better.

and then you kiss him. and it’s magical, everything he’s ever wanted. he doesn’t realize he’s fallen yet, too wrapped up in the spell you have on him. the way your arms feel wrapped around him as he deepens the kiss makes him feel like all those dumb romcom movies say it should feel like. the way you let him hover over you as his hands wander up your shirt. everything goes faster than he would have liked, the rush of emotion and hormones.

as he drifts to sleep next to you, he hears you whisper sweet nothing. and he sleeps more comfortably then he ever has.

it isn’t until he’s hanging with his friends and he realizes he is gonna be late to eat with you, does he realize he’s sunk too far down. he tries to say good bye and they stop him asking, why does he care about spending time with you if this is a bet. it’s not real. and something inside stirs, it’s a painful and disgusting feeling he never wishes to feel again.

he does the only thing he can think of, and stays in with his friends. he lets you wait for him in the dining hall, even goes as far as to ignore your texts. he even goes as far as to avoid you on campus. he knows it shitty, to hit and quit like that. but the burning realization that he had fallen so hard for you seers into his heart. for him a romance like this was never an option, he was far too broken to experience a love that was anything as kind as you have given him, but yet here he was.

he’s tried as best he can to avoid you until one night, he wakes up from a terrible nightmare, which for the most part hadn’t been as bad since meeting you, come back in full force. he wakes up in a near panic, his mind is on autopilot and he calls you. he doesn’t register it’s you until your clearly sleep deprived voice answer, a little more cold than he had become accustomed to. his voice is almost devoid of emotion, as his eyes glazed over, his body operating on auto-pilot as he asked for you.

he knows he’s selfish. that you deserve better and that you should just hang up, ignore him the same way he ignores you. but you don’t. instead you walk from your room to his, in your pajamas at 2 am. he’s even more ashamed when he opens the door for you, seeing an unreadable expression on your face as you enter.

but then you open your arms wide and let him crash into you, holding him close as you stroke his hair and tell him it’ll all be alright. you guide him back to his bed and let him cuddle up to you as he silently cuddles closer. there’s so much he wants to say to you, but either the walls he spent years on are built too high to allow him or if his panic is preventing him from speaking. he feels trapped, so he just lets you hold him close.

he’s always been a quiet man, but in this state it hurts to see. she knew she should just leave him after all he did, but her heart refused to let him be alone in this state. so she let herself get comfortable cuddling him and allowed for him to fall safely asleep in her arms, hoping that in the morning she could get some explanation to his behavior, maybe patch things up.

the next morning, he admits it all. he isn’t sure why he opens up as openly, but he does. he tells you about the bet and how much of selfish person he was. honestly, it hurts to hear, that you ran all this way last night only to learn he used you to get back at his friends and when that goal was reached he dropped you. but you hold your emotions back and continue to listen to him.

it hurts when he sees the way you look at him, feeling like a selfish monster but not being able to live with the guilt of it anymore. because he knows how this will change ur relationship between the two of you, but he’s fallen so hard that he can’t hide this anymore. it’s scary to come to terms with his feelings towards you and how much of a shitty person he has been, the most vulnerable he’s ever been to another person. but he lays it out, he lets himself spill his guts to you and exposes all his emotions, all the inner turmoil that was going on.

then it gets quiet. you don’t know what to say or do, you just kind of stare at him as you process everything. the gears are turning in your head and you can’t sort your emotions out in his room like this any longer. so you tell him you need space and that you’ll give him a call in a few days. and fuck as you start to leave his room, he wants to reach out and beg for you to stay, but he knows better than to do that.

it’s a week until he hears from you again. its late at night and he’s honestly just sulking in his dorm while his friends are out having fun. then you text him. that wave of anxiety hits him again as he unlocks his phone and opens messenger.

“I’m coming over”

that’s all it says, but it makes him even more nervous. he looks around his room and notices the mess it is, and then he looks down at him in his pajamas still and messy hair. he begins to shove shit under his bed and tries to fix his hair as best he can, but he knows he doesn’t have long until you arrive. he braces for the worst, but continues to keep himself emotionless as he usually does.

the knock on his door startled him, but he recovers and opens the door for you. and he sees you with a bag of stuff and in your sweats. honestly, he’s confused at first as you push past him and make you’re self comfortable on his bed, but hey, he’s happy you still want to hang out with him. and then you start talking. telling him that you’ve almost completely forgiven him, but if he can make tonight unforgettable than he’ll be completely forgiven. maybe with the added incentive that you would be willing to give him another chance in a relationship.

#wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #kunizukushi x reader #wanderer #scaramouche #kunizukushi #genshin impact x reader #maddy writes #maddy answers #genshin imapct

573 notes · View notes

distractedducky · 5 months ago

Text

So I was thinking about it… why sterek

I’ve shipped a lot in my time. From the classics like spirk and destiel, to the straight vampire diaries nonsense, from murder husbands to buddy to name a very small few. They all hold weird little places in my heart and mind but they fade and as I flow in and out of fandoms I move on to the next hyperfixation. But sterek just keeps sticking around.

It’s an old ship for me. If you go on my ao3 all the way back to 2013 you’ll see my first ever book mark was a sterek fic. That fic is still a comfort fic for me today and is something I read when my anxiety is uncontrollable.

It was something I read late in 2022 when the reality of the pandemic and the last few years hit me hard and got me back into Teen Wolf so hard it actually pushed me out of the supernatural hole the start of the pandemic put me in.

I’ve always been a shipper and I have my ride or dies, my OTPs and Ot3s, and so on and so forth, but fandom has always been weird for me. I started young and witnessed the birth in Tumblr and ao3, as a tween my taste can only be described as pure trash* Affectionate * but as I got older, like most things in life, my taste changed. And though I still love me some hot garbage, I engage with it differently than that little 12-year-old who thought werewolves and vampires were cool no further explanation necessary.

Now I’m an academic, a librarian, who actually studied critical lit analysis, book studies, and religion. Who spent years learning how to dissect prose and poetry to look beyond text in an professional setting. And though I don’t regret it and it has led to some fun changes in the way I engage with fiction it also kinda ruined the fun engagement I had with things back in the day when baby me bookmarked that first fic.

I need more from my characters now, more from my fandoms and it has led me away from and into the arms of content that I never saw coming. (Looking at you Danny phantom phandom) I needed depth or the potential for depth that some shows just didn’t lend themselves to cleanly enough to satisfy me and yet… sterek persisted.

One of my problems is I didn’t really engage with the fandom when the show was airing and only watched a few season sporadically until recently, so I wasn’t there when things were forming organically. It has left me out of step with the primary directions fan content creators have taken with the ship and the directions they took, though fun and interesting, aren’t really my usual thing.

I hate the infantilization of stiles and other teen wolf characters like Isaac. I generally hate infantilization of adults, hyper feminization of certain types of characters and so on and so forth and it has to do with my own gender stuff, but I usually avoid it in fanfiction. I am also not a huge fan of modern werewolf romance erotica. I have a lot of opinions on real supernatural mythology and legends and I don’t like the anthropomorphism that shows up a lot in werewolf stories. Not that I haven’t read some amazing takes on werewolf lore, especially in the Teen Wolf fandom but I’m speaking generally. I’m also not a fan of pack mom stiles (again my own gender stuff) and though I think Scott’s inconsistent character and writing throughout the show lens him to be whatever your fic needs to be (best friend, hype man, wingman, idiot, genius, villain, so on and so forth) I don’t like a lot of the 'Scott sucks just because' fics. I don’t like the hate in the fandom around that. I also don’t like the hypermasculine depictions of Derek in a lot of fics and on and on. I have read a lot of TW and sterek and by all accounts, it should be a fandom I wouldn't personally engage with this much. Yet for all that, I have found there is an exception to every trope I hate, every hard line i draw for myself, because the fic was just so good. For every dozen or so fics that seem to tell me that this isn’t the fandom for me, there is that one amazing thing that says “No! This is exactly where you wanna be”.

Like I said, I need more from my fandoms now a days and most of what that boils down to is plausible deniability. I need enough gaps in the narrative to fill them in myself, but with enough connective pieces that everything can make sense when put together. The fatal flaw of telling without showing, which allows people to extrapolate out what they want from certain things -all the subtext with none of the text - is exactly where my degree comes in handy.

And sterek well… I think what it is for me as a shipper is the inconsistencies. That is kind of why I still ship it so far and for so long. It's the fact of why was Stiles in Derek's dream at the end of 3b? We can talk about all the things with him being his anchor and the grasping at straws that we as shippers all love to do but the narrative fact is they did not spend that much time on screen together or even saying they were doing things off-screen together. That leads us to a lot of whys. Why were they together at the beginning of season two talking about the alpha pack? Why were they in certain situations in season four that ld them to work so well? What happens in all of this dead time? What happens in season six? We see stiles in episode one be like "Oh my God Derek is a mass murderer wanted by the FBI" and at the end of the season, they've apparently driven and or flown back to California together, apparently spent some time together. They're not on the run from the FBI so that got cleared somehow, stiles isn't limping so his foot healed. There's so much dead time like that throughout the show so when scenes happen like the hand on Derek's shoulder after the death of Boyd you're left thinking that's kind of off, we haven't seen any interactions with them that would show that they have that kind of deep solemn relationship where comforting him would make sense.

The show notoriously has a terrible timeline, but all that does is fuel the fact that we don't know how much time any of these characters are really spending off-screen together. We can only assume that it happened in this weird dead time. This is why somehow Derek's view of Stiles in his head is like a calm stable dependable figure who can help him talk through an issue. This is why they always gravitate towards each other in fights. This is why they work so well together in a crisis. Like we have to assume that happened before which is stupid and I know it's so much reaching, but in my little brain, it's the only way that makes all of this random shit fit together- so I gotta ship it. Obviously, the real-world explanation is inconsistent writing plus putting space between them once the writer stopped wanting people to ship it, but because you get all of these disjointed scenes where they're too intense for what we've been previously seeing there is some type of disconnect here -what is that? and if you're looking at the show, not as a work of fiction, but as a narrative, what else are we gonna do then assume that they have spent way more time emotionally connecting than we have seen on the screen.

And for me that’s everything I want in a ship, that ability to play and extrapolate random events and ask, okay now how would these all fit! And that’s what spawns great ideas and stories and art and why I ship it, dispute the fact that it really shouldn't work for me personally.

I think it’s why a lot of people still stop sterek despite the fact that the attitude towards it and the show has shifted a lot and in many different ways in the last decade.

Sorry for the rant, I’ve been thinking about this for days and had to get it out there. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I truly love the Teen Wolf fandom and everything it’s done and everything it created and I’m so happy to be able to engage with it.

#I have a feeling I’ll be shipping this one till I die #sterek #teen wolf #TW #stiles x derek #derek hale #stiles stilinski #teen wolf stiles #teen wolf derek hale #shipping thoughts #life of a shipper

38 notes · View notes

m-jelly · 1 year ago

Note

Hi Jelly! I hope you have a great day! I was wondering if you can make a modern au wherein Levi is a law student while me as his roommate is an civil engineering student. For the context we’re best friend but slowly fall in love with each other. From best friend to lovers trope. I hope you’ll acknowledge this.

ps: English is not my first language sorry for the the grammatical error.

@kenkopanda-art <3

Next room

Pairing: Levi x Fem! Reader

Tags and warnings: University AU, friends to lovers, modern AU, fluff, romance.

When you live with someone as wonderful as you, Levi can't help but fall in love.

Note - The courses you're doing are not mentioned as I know the courses you have chosen are different in different countries and I don't know enough about civil engineering but I know a lot about law. Sorry!

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @notgoodforlife @demonsimp6 @nbinairyn

Levi knew the exact moment when he fell in love with you and he would remember that for the rest of his life. You'd been friends for a few months and decided to live together to make it easy on your bank accounts. You got on well so it made sense.

You didn't invite any guys around and had no boyfriends and Levi didn't invite any women around and had no girlfriends. So, it was a peaceful apartment. You'd talk most nights, had food together and even watched the same shows. It didn't take long before you both noticed you had a lot in common.

Levi wasn't too phased when he watched you walk around the apartment with little shorts on for your PJs. He did look a bit because you were very attractive, but that was it. He always thought you looked pretty in anything you wore.

Everything about you was wonderful, but the moment he fell for you was so simple. He was having a shit day and he was on ther verge of losing it. He wanted to cry hard and hit someone, but you came along and made his day better. You gave him a cup of tea, put a blanket around him, sat close and rubbed his back. You didn't say anything for a long time, you just let him ride through his emotions. Your presence was so comforting and he knew then and there. It was like something clicked inside him.

He was in love.

He panicked at first with what to do. Levi had never been in love before but it was so moving and compelling. He wanted to act on his feelings so badly but he wasn't sure how. He asked his mother for help and his friends, all gave wonderful advice but he lacked the confidence in himself.

Levi had written so many letters that confessed everything he felt inside, but none of them were good enough. He kept working hard to make the perfect letter for you. He would stay up late planning how he would confess, but none of it was perfect like he wanted it to be.

You were the one who made him act and it was because you confessed. You came to him with tears in your eyes you kept saying sorry as if you'd done something wrong. You told him you had to move out, that you had to leave, that you needed to get away.

Levi gripped your arm tightly and stopped you from leaving him. "Why?" He clenched tighter as his heart begged you to admit you felt the same. "Why do you need to leave?"

You whimpered and gazed at him. "Because I have fallen in love with you. I fell in love the night I gave you tea, wrapped you in a blanket and sat with you. I have tried to get rid of my feelings, but it's impossible. You're so wonderful." You sobbed. "I love you, Levi Ackerman. I love you."

Levi yanked you against him, pushed his fingers into your hair and crashed his lips against yours. He tugged your lip between his teeth before pushing his tongue into your mouth. He moaned as you kissed him back with just as much passion. He held you tightly as you moaned back at him.

Levi pulled back from your lips and panted a little. "I love you." He smiled as he said your name. "I fell in love with you in that moment as well. I can be myself with you. You make me feel safe."

You smiled sweetly. "All this time?"

"Yes." He chuckled. "I've asked people for help cause I wanted to confess and I even wrote you love letters, but none of them were good."

"Really? I'd love to read them."

"They're bad."

You hummed a laugh. "They're your thoughts and feelings. Every thought and feeling you have is precious."

Levi blushed hard at your words. "Tch, damn cute brat." He sighed. "So, are you staying?"

You nodded. "I am now."

"Good."

#levi ackerman #levi #aot levi #snk levi #aot fanfiction #levi x you #fanfic #levi fanfiction #levi x y/n #levi x reader #jelly.asks #levi x reader fluff #levi x yn #levi ackerman attack on titan #levi ackerman aot #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader

70 notes · View notes

unicorncornflakes · 2 years ago

Text

Wedding Dress - Modern AU! | Chapter 8

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Paring: Jacaerys Velaryon x Reader x Aemond Targaryen.

Summary: You have always seemed happy. A perfect life: a good job, a good family… and a good boyfriend. Finally, you are going to marry Jace after three years of dating. Everything seems perfect, but you know it's not.

Everything falters the same night you meet Aemond Targaryen. You are no longer sure of your decisions… let alone about the wedding…

Tags: Alternate Universe – Modern/ Setting Enemies to Friends to Lovers/ Emotional Hurt/ComfortDrama & Romance/ Eventual Smut.

Author´s note: Hi everyone! English is not my first language, sorry for any mistake! All of them are my fault! Pls, enjoy! Feedback, shares and comments are always welcome!

Next chapter is going to be the last one. So Brace yourself, the end is coming :P

Warnings: 18+ smut below the cut.

Word Count: 3.6K

Tag-List (If you wanna be tagged, let me know): @tssf-imagines @nika-sophie05 @hkmultifandom @thetrueblackheart @chainsawsangel @darkenchantress @itsabby15 @afro-hispwriter @ipostwhatifeel @kezibear @thedamewithabook

Aemond opened the hood of the car and got ready to check the engine. Everything seemed to be in order. Well, who was he kidding? That Lamborghini was just perfect. It hadn't suffered one bit because he'd hit the gas hard to get there as soon as possible, nor because he'd hit 200 kilometers per hour to make you happy… No, he just needed a moment to himself before coming back to you. He breathed hard in front of the engine. Everything was in order in that mechanism. He raised his head to see you sitting on the sand on the beach, calm and looking at the horizon. Everything was in order inside the engine, was everything fine also in his head? No, It wasn't. He would have kissed you, as he parked the car. He would have kissed you and never let you go, but would you have let yourself? She sighed again as he shut down the engine. Something had awakened in him when he stepped on the accelerator on that distant highway, shifting into sixth gear, with you laughing at him beside him. He needed you. It was no longer a question of taking what Jace had, it was a question… of being happy.

You were still sitting, with your gaze lost on the horizon, lost among the sound of the waves of the sea. What had happened between you and Jace kept revolving in your mind. He had never been angry like this. Never. You closed your eyes. If only you were one of those waves that crashed against the shore that afternoon. If only you could sway the same... you breathed in and opening your eyes. You saw Aemond now sitting next to you. He played with the sand next to you, picking it up and then letting it go slowly, watching how the wind carried it away. He looked at you. His violet eye sparkled every time he looked at you.

"How about the car?" You sighed, looking straight ahead. "Was the water okay?" you wanted to talk about inconsequential things. You needed it.

"Yes, it was okay" he smiled "We're going to fill the car with sand" but he didn't stop playing with its. You noticed that he wasn't looking at the water, or the waves, or the horizon. His gaze was only fixed on you. You looked at him and smiled, cocking your head.

"Maybe then your brother will clean the car" you laughed and Aemond laughed with you. He laughed showing his teeth, getting carried away by such a bad joke. Just as he finished, he brought his face closer to you. Slowly. Closing his eye. Still with that perfect smile on his lips. He moved his hand quickly to cup your face.He didn't want to scare you, but he knew what he wanted. He wanted the same thing as you, and yet you turned your face away from him despite his grip, when you felt his lips brushing against yours. You felt something hit your stomach when you saw the disappointment painted on his face for having denied him what he wanted. And he did look ahead at last, releasing his grip on your face. The waves roaring in the background.

“I'll clean your car when we get back. I'd rather not hear him complain later,” he sighed, lighting a cigarette in one swift motion. He needed to smoke to escape the frustration he felt because you had denied his kiss. You were alone on that beach. Just the sound of the swell and then the click of his Zippo being turned on.

“When did you start smoking?” you asked, wanting to change the subject, as if that would help ease the tension of the moment. But he just looked at you smugly and blew out his cigarette again slowly. He gave a small, superior laugh.

“At seventeen” he answered tersely “After… stopping taking the shit that the psychiatrist sent me” he confessed to you. He saw how your face crumpled and Aemond just laughed. He looked ahead with a smile, as if he had said too much. He didn't regret it. He didn't think he had ever opened up like that to anyone since he stopped going to the psychologist and psychiatrist. "I'd rather smoke to appease anxiety than take another one of those pills again" he spoke again. Yes, he had been in therapy ever since he lost his eye. His parents thought that it would help him. That only made him hate the others even more. He couldn't stand his compassionate looks, nor that they looked at him like he was still crazy for taking medication, pills to bear being able to look at himself in the mirror... You didn't answer, you just bit your lip looking forward again. Your serious face

"Aemond..." you just sighed, wanting to speak again, but he only caressed your face again with more conviction. That time without a smile, just staring at you in every part of your face trying to memorize it. The cigarette in his other hand.

"I'll tell our children that it was here where we kissed for the first time" he told you and you just laughed sweetly, as if what he just said was crazy.

"Really, if you want to tell them when our first kiss was, you would have to tell them about the bathroom in that terrible bar" you commented, still with your eyes fixed on him, not believing that you were saying that.

He chuckled softly to himself. The sound of the waves in the background. Even, if you close your eyes you can remember it as one of the best moments of your life. "I'd rather decorate it a bit" he laughed and that time he did close his eyes again, just like you. Your lips just met. It was a brief contact, more typical of a love that begins than what you both felt, but it had to be like that. The moment dictated it. You opened your eyes to find him still stroking your cheek, but this time his thumb slid across your lower lip and caressed it slowly. You still felt your lips tingle at his touch.

"Aemond..." you sighed, coming back to reality and ready to wake him from his fantasy... when he spoke.

"Don't tell me you're going to marry him. It's not what you want, nor what you need” he sighed, turning his gaze to the front. Another drag on his cigarette. He realized in that moment of pleading that he had fallen in love with you. He finished his cigarette and stubbed it out on the sand.

"It's a shame we didn't bring a bathing suit" you sighed, trying again to change the conversation and then you saw how Aemond took off his shirt. He unbuttoned it slowly and with conviction after getting up next to you. You raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

“Let's go into the water. There is no one. We're alone. And... we are not going to see anything that we have not seen before ” he smiled at you, raising one of the corners of his lips. He got completely naked while you still sat. You, not daring to look at him, were completely blushing "Are you scared to see my cock now? There was a night that you begged for its” he laughed cheekily. You got up taking off your dress and starting to undo the spade, with your back to him

“I was drunk,” you mumbled, frustrated that you couldn't get the bra hook off.

"Liar" he commented approaching you and unhooking the bra without problems. He kissed you on your shoulder slowly at the end and you felt tremendous pleasure from just one kiss on your bare shoulder. You let him circle you from behind. His hands gripping your hips, holding them, coveting them. You two kissed again... and this time it was not a chaste kiss. Your hands were lost in his hair while one of his hands grabbed one of your breasts and the other traveled under the fabric of your panties. You felt a surge of pleasure as Aemond's fingers reached for the prize. You felt his cock against your buttocks, now hard. The drops of precum against your lower back. His lips conquered you hungry, seductive, selfish. When he finished kissing you, a smile appeared on his lips. "Are you drunk now too?" he teased yourself.

"Idiot," you chided him with a smile, poking him gently in the ribs, breaking his grip. You laughed when you felt him trying to catch you again and you ran towards the water. He ran after you, although he knew that he could catch you, but he preferred to continue playing with you. Upon reaching the shore, he caught you from behind and kissed you again. That time he bit your lower lip at the end of the kiss and he caught you dragging you into the water while you laughed. "Aemond" you yelled as you felt how you two entered the water. You shouted it happily, feeling a happiness you hadn't experienced in your entire life. A wave crashed against your bodies and you laughed at the same time that you heard him laugh too. You both fell into the water, and he kissed you again. You hugged him just like you had hugged in the bathroom of that bar. You needed it. You needed to be with him.

He caressed your face with the back of his hand. "Don't marry him" he asked you again. If he had ever fallen in love, it was this one. If he had ever lost his mind it was because of you. You smiled and kissed him again. Your tongues met without rest. You didn't need to answer. He already knew that you had made your decision. His hands grabbed your buttocks, pulling you closer to him, rubbing against you. It felt like heaven, your whole crotch drenching his cock, preparing it for the big prize… Your giggles gave way to moans… until you lifted your ass up, denying him what he wanted, beneath you. He smirked, that damn smirk, and you sat on his stomach. He head back grunting and smiling, as if he didn't expect that.

"Today am I going to be the one who has to beg?" He smirked, his hands still gripping your hips. You laughed rolling your eyes in an amused grimace. Still laughing.

"You're not being fair, you know?" You smiled at him, taking one of his hands and intertwining your fingers with it. His smile faltered for a moment, as if you were going to back down. Instead you brought your lips to his ear. He thought he died when he felt your breath against his ear. He had to regain control, and yet he couldn't. "I'm here all naked, and you... still with clothes on" you laughed sensually, returning to your position on his stomach.

"Hmm?" He looked at you confused and you pointed to your eye with a smile, referring to his eye patch. A soft laugh escaped from his lips. No, he wasn't going to remove the patch. That would require a level of intimacy that he didn't know if he was ready for or if you were ready for it. “And there it goes to be. I like to cheat ”he confessed with a shrug, and you laughed at his occurrence. He wasn't going to let you get away. Not now. You would reach that point of complicity, I was sure, but not at that moment. He turned his body with yours on the sand, now you were under him, and he felt more confident. He was going to regain control of the situation. Your legs wraped on to his hips in the process. In a movement of your hips, you brought your slippery center closer to his cock in search of relief "What a so anxious princess..."

"You do not like?" You responded, continiunig your movements. You saw how a slight grunt of satisfaction left his lips.

"Quite" he replied, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, down your collarbones "But, I'm the one in control here" he whispered in a leering tone, his violet eye fixed on you "And I have the right to do what I want." he groarned "I take… ”He began by saying“ What I want ”he chuckled, as you felt how his hand now caressed your clitoris without rest. "What I need" he put two fingers inside you and pumped hard. You saw the fascination on his face as you melted under his touch, had you ever felt anything like this? The answer was obvious. You grabbed his wrist like you couldn't take it anymore. You thought you were going to explode, a sensation never experienced before ran through your entire body.

"Aemond, I'm going to die" you moaned, desperate to stop the pumping of his fingers inside you, the touch of his thumb on your clit... your nails digging into the skin of his wrist, but he didn't give in, if anything he was finding it fascinating in that moment.

"No, you're going to cum, you're going to cum for me," he replied forcefully. Her fingers found that fluffy spot inside you and gently caressed it to continue with a frantic pace. He looked at you undone under him, and he felt powerful, proud, arrogant, that's how it had to be, and he loved it… What the hell had Jace done to you in all those years if you were like this for something so simple? “Cum for me,” he whispered with authority and desire…and you did, exploding hard into his fingers, drenching his entire hand, breathing hard. You looked at him as he laughed with that sneer that actually drove you crazy. “Have you really been cummed over something so simple? No wonder you begged for my dick the first time."

You didn't answer, you just kissed him hungrily as he pounced on you again. He entered inside you without any problem, with ease, your cunt embraced him. Warm and tight. The sensation overwhelmed him and he could only close his eye and breathe hard, jaw slack...he had waited so long to achieve this, now he began to doubt if it was real...but it was. He knew it when you grabbed onto his shoulders from under him. she looked at you again. He didn't want to miss any detail. He wanted to say something arrogant, but he couldn't. His hair fell against his breasts in a silver curtain as he continued to ram into you hard. He realized that he couldn't think straight. He just wanted this. He needed it. He coveted it. His buttocks contracted rapidly as he entered and he left you without rest. He was not in control. He was losing it, and he didn't care. He watched as one of your hands traveled to the now swollen with pleasure bud between your legs. Aemond stopped you violently, grabbing your hand. "Mine," he moaned through his teeth, returning his hand to your clit. It was his. It was no longer yours. Only his. "Mine" he growled again, daring you to try again. You smiled to see him so whimsical with your body. But you didn't care, because he knew you adored it. Then you came, you felt your pussy walls squeezing his cock anxiously, you screamed and nailed his back, you bit his shoulder... feeling how your body claimed him with an indescribable warm and wet sensation. Aemond gave one more strong, final thrust... and he cummed... inside you, he felt his cock contract with force... filling you with his seed... for a moment the thought of getting you pregnant excited him... you hadn't used protection... he felt powerful over you and let himself roll on the sand next to you , you hugged him with a smile while the waves covered you... he had returned to reality... but this time it was different. He was sure you weren't going to marry Jace.

Your head was still resting on his shoulder. You were already dressed, though Aemond thought he did not know why you had done it. Total your clothes were full of sand. He took another drag on his cigarette. How many did he smoke a day? He thought about it in silence. One always thinks stupid things after fucking. He felt how your nails caressed his arm gently. He wondered what you were thinking. You two hadn't talked since you finished. You both just remained in comfortable silence, watching the sunset.

"Promise me that you won't leave, that after this you won't leave, that this has meant... something to you" you asked without looking at him. You needed me to confirm it to you, to hear it from his lips. He looked at you with an amused grimace, you hadn't seen him smile so much since you met.

"I guess I'm the one who has to ask that of you, right?" he teased him, remembering all the indecision you'd had up to that point. You tapped his shoulder gently and you shook your head in amusement. He faked a painful grimace and caressed his face. "I promise." No, he wasn't going to let you go. He couldn't, nor did he want to. At that moment he felt that he could be a better man thanks to you. You kissed sweetly again. The sound of the waves in the background. That hypnotic sound.

You returned with Aemond to the house and saw that no one had returned yet, despite the fact that it was late. Getting out of the car, you intertwined your fingers with his. You had made a decision. You were going to drop everything for him. You didn't care about anyone. You didn't care about anyone after what had happened, not your grandmother, not Jace, not his family…nobody. He smiled at you again and leaned you against the front door. You both kissed passionately, a clash of tongues and lips worthy of an adult movie. You couldn't keep your hands off him, and he couldn't keep them off you. At the end of that kiss He began to kiss your neck, until you felt how he lightly pressed his teeth against the sensitive skin and you laughed hard, like you had never laughed before. Aemond was like a drug to you, and from what you could see, so were you to him. You entered the house and in the darkness of the hall was Aegon. Seeing you, he smiled wickedly. He was clearly drunk.

"Damn, Aemond, you're a bastard" he laughed cheekily approaching the two of you "Have you really fucked her? As you said in the meeting…” he laughed again.

"Aegon, shut the fuck up," Aemond replied as his hold loosened around you.

"What meeting?" you asked confused. Aemond did not look at you. He didn't dare. He just released you and went after Aegon. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"Shut the fuck up," he hissed at him and Aegon laughed maniacally.

“(Y / N), at the last meeting he talked about how needy you are for affection and he offered to fuck you, in front of your boyfriend” he laughed. And Aemond punched him giving him a black eye, and… your world fell apart in that moment…

“Princess…” Aemond tried to hug you again, but you pushed him away. Had he…had he done all this to annoy Jace? Were you a fucking toy to him? Nothing had meant shit to him, that's why he'd taken you to the beach, to the museum… that's why he'd tried to be your friend. Just to annoy Jace. Aegon had confirmed it, that's why everyone was so tense there... because everyone knew something you didn't...

“Don't touch me, Aemond. Don't even dare” you told him with cold eyes, going to Jace's room, running. Aemond watched as you left. And he walked over to Aegon lying on the ground. He was writhing in pain, but only one thing crossed Aemond's mind. He kicked his older brother in the ribs. Anger coursed through him. What had he done with you? It is true, that at first that had been his intention, but not now. And then, as he watched Aegon writhe on the ground, he ran a nervous hand through his hair in despair, ready to explode. He looked in all directions trying to process what had happened. Alys's words reappeared in his head: 'You are not capable of any kind of love'.

Jace finally returned to his brothers, carrying Joff with Luke, on their shoulders. He was drunk again. They put him on the couch and Jace went up to his room. He needed to talk to you…he needed to apologize…he needed to think. That was it, that's why he was gone. However, now he had come back to you, and he needed your forgiveness... he entered the room in silence and saw you against the bed, crying. He blamed it on what had happened between you, what else could it be?

"Hey" he whispered to you sitting on the bed and caressing your back while you broke down in sobs. Then you looked at him and your gaze seemed to light up, in his opinion. That was love for him. That Look was all Jace needed. You hugged him tightly and kept crying “I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. He was stressed and…”

"No. you were right. You were right about everything ”you cried again in his embrace, and you remained silent for a long time until you fell asleep in his arms. For Jace, things were back to normal. For you everything had changed again, but now you knew that Jace was right. Aemond was an asshole.

#aemond x y/n #aemond modern au #aemond x fem!reade #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen modern au #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen x you

129 notes · View notes

bluelancess · 9 months ago

Text

Midnight Blooms | Elriel AU chapter 2/?

Sports romance, college AU.

Summary: When Elain is told by her father, a ruthless politician, that she is to marry the son of one of his closest friends, Lucien Vanserra, to assure her father’s win on the next election, she has no other choice but to agree. What she never expected was her convictions being tested by a tall, devastatingly beautiful black-haired hockey player who moved in right next door. And if there was one thing Elain was certain of, was that Azriel posed a dangerous threat to the previously dormant desires roaming inside her. And she needed to stay far, far away from him.

Tags: forbidden love, arranged marriage, forced proximity, modern setting, slow burn

——————————

Read on AO3.

——————————

Chapter 2

I notice everything you do or don't do

AZRIEL

Cassian hits my shoulder hard with one of his huge hands as soon as the main door to the girl’s house closes, and none of them are looking at us anymore. He has probably been waiting to punch me since the invite for the party escaped my lips.

Good thing he didn’t aim for the jaw or cheekbone, although we do have a no-face-punching rule, but Cassian tends to forget it pretty often. Or at least that’s how he excuses himself every fucking time.

“What the fuck was that, Az?” He grunts my way. “You want to kill our party before it even starts?”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” I tell him, taking a couple steps back, I’m holding my third bottle of beer in my right hand, it’s almost over, the liquid pretty much room temperature.

Last semester, when we lived in that awful one bedroom apartment near campus, parties were one hundred percent off limits. We didn’t even have a living room, for fuck’s sake. The kitchen consisted of the tiniest little oven ever, and a sink that barely fit two plates and a mug. Granted, the rent was cheap. So cheap, we could spend the rest of our money on take-out, liquor and WiFi, which is pretty much all you need to survive college.

But a couple weeks before finals, the whole building was infested with the fattest, and ugliest rats I’ve ever seen, Cassian even made a sport out of getting the little fuckers out of the apartment, and I guess it was a silent agreement that we couldn’t stay there for another year. No fucking way.

So I saved every penny I got from all the jobs my boss assigned me during the summer. Yes, maybe not all of them were entirely legal, but they payed generously and in cash, how was I supposed to pass the opportunity when it got us this amazing house? It is only a bonus that we have three, hot as fuck neighbors. Almost like the universe is rewarding us for all the shit it made us go through when we were children.

About fucking time.

“Dramatic? I’ve been planning this thing for weeks,” Cassian says, rubbing his face with the palm of his hand. “It’s the last time I can get properly drunk before practice starts. Coach is a pain in the ass with his no-drinking-during-the-season-or-get-the-fuck-out rule, and you know it.”

“Let’s go inside,” Rhys says, leaving the end of the sentence hanging unsaid in the air, but I imagine it would go as something like: you uncivilized brutes.

“You’re just proving my point, Cass,” I say, hiding a smile, looking over my shoulder one last time at the house on the other side of the street, I stop on my tracks when I see the curtain of the kitchen window rustle. Are they still watching us?

Is she still watching us?

The pretty, quiet one. Fuck, I couldn’t look away from those big, sweet eyes and those full, pink lips. I’d die to just give them a little taste, a tiny bite until she’s melting and moaning against me. I remember her from last year. We took a class together, I’m pretty sure she never really noticed me. She sat at the front, I sat on the back. She was quiet, so shy, did all the group assignments on her own, and always got the highest grade. The professor used to be a jerk and tease her because she was so smart, but so damn quiet she never showed how fucking intelligent she was to the rest of the class. I had to fight the urge to kick his ugly ass whenever he started his shit with her.

It made the whole class laugh at her expense, the fucking asshole.

I admit my reasons for inviting them to the party were completely selfish. I saw an opportunity and took it. Now, the real surprise would be if she actually shows up tomorrow night.

“I also think it is a good idea to have them over for the party,” Rhysand says, putting one hand on my left shoulder, and the other on Cassian’s, guiding us inside the house. “They won’t call the cops if they’re having a good time. Right, Az?”

I shrug. “Sure.”

“Oh, come on, you two,” Cassian shakes his head like his disappointed. “Always thinking with your dicks.”

“Not my problem that girl is giving you blue balls.” I say, walking a bit faster to get away from him before he decides to punch something other than my shoulder.

Cassian grunts.

“Is that why you’ve been so moody all summer?” Rhys asks lifting a brow, and Cass shoots him a death glare. “Wait, don’t tell me you fell in love with this girl after just one night, Cassian. We’re not fifteen anymore”

“Shut up, asshole.”

“I’m just saying.” Rhys lifts both hands in the air, innocently.

I smile, watching them. We’ve been together, the three of us, since we were little kids. Pretty much fending for ourselves in a world that doesn’t like people like us. Alone, but never really lonely. From foster home to foster home. By some miracle, we were always placed together in different families. Five to be exact. Most kicked us out after a couple months, claimed we were too much to handle, or whatever the fuck that means.

We were children, noisy, curious, maybe a little too energetic, but they wanted us to behave like robots, follow orders to a tee, never complain, and of course, they wanted the government’s money. Turns out, dealing with us wasn’t worth the little compensation they were receiving, so ultimately all of them ended up throwing us back into the black whole we came from.

Everything changed when we got to Gramps and Nana’s house. Recently retired, house empty after their biological kids were all grown up and left, they decided to take us in. Treated us like their own. It was so unlike every single other house we’d been at, the we contemplated running away the first two weeks. It felt too good to be true. Almost like a trap.

Nana won us over with her killer brownies and Gramps taught us everything he knew about hockey.

We wouldn’t be here without them.

“Well, don’t ask,” Cassian starts walking up the stairs, like the subject actually bothers him, which is completely unusual for him. “I’m telling you guys, those girls are going to be nothing but trouble.”

Rhys eyes gleam like he’s visualizing exactly what Cassian is referring to, and he’s up for the challenge.

“Isn’t that the fun of it, Cass?” Rhys teases him.

“When you’re the one walking around with blue balls over that girl, Rhys, we’ll talk.”

“Oh, but I won’t.” Rhys’ voice is laced in arrogant confidence.

“She has a boyfriend,” I remind him, nearing our brand new couch in the living room. It’s dark blue, almost black, and it’s huge. It had to be, if it wants to fit the three of us at the same time. Gramps gifted it to us before we moved here, said he couldn’t bare the thought of us sitting on the floor on such a big house. Is pretty much the only piece of decent furniture we own.

“Not for long.” Rhys shrugs, opening the fridge we have in the living room and grabbing another beer. It seemed like a better place than the kitchen, considering that if we’re watching sports we don’t have to walk all the way there to grab something to drink.

Cassian barks a laugh. “You’re too cocky, is going to bite you in the ass.”

“I happen to enjoy ass bites.” Rhys laughs again, and I’m silently glad we’re not fighting.

We hardly ever do.

We’ve been through so much already, always sticking together, and having each other’s back, that there doesn’t seem to be anything that would be important enough for us to fight over.

Cassian shakes his head, and climbs the stairs like he has so much pent up energy he’d like to release. A couple seconds later, he’s blasting music in his bedroom and to probably hide the annoying noise his rusty-ass treadmill makes. It’s so old the damn thing is practically falling apart by just looking at it.

“If I’d known those three lived here, I would’ve moved out from that rat hell a lot sooner,” Rhys says, sitting next to me, and turning on the television, none of us really pay attention to it. I don’t have to look at my brother to know his eyes are also glued to the window right beside the screen, the one that gives us a front row seat to the house in front.

“They moved in last year,” I tell him, taking the beer from his grip to steal a sip.

“You know them?” He asks me, a curious look in his eyes. I know almost everyone. I like to watch people. Listen when they think I’m not paying attention. I happened to learn at a very young age, that information is the real currency of the world. It can get you pretty much anywhere you want to go if you know how to use it correctly.

“Just two of them.” I tell him, giving his beer back. “The third one is probably a freshman. I’d never seen her around here before.”

“I hadn’t seen any of them around here before.”

“Nesta’s pre-law,” I begin to explain. “Has every loser in campus either shitting their pants on her presence or trying to get into her pants.”

“That’s Cassian’s?” Rhys asks, as if it needs confirmation.

“Yup,” I nod. “And Elain… No idea what her major is. She’s pretty reserved, keeps to herself, doesn’t go out much.” I shrug, pretending she doesn’t pique my interest in the slightest, which couldn’t be further from the truth. “I took a class with her last year, I’m guessing she’s maybe an art major.”

Rhys takes a big gulp from his beer. “That leaves us the third sister.”

“Right, the one with the boyfriend.”

“Love it that you keep reminding me,” Rhys shoots me a not so friendly glare.

“There’s a thousand girls on campus that would pretty much give up their first born to sleep with you, Rhys,” I remind him. “No need to want one that’s unavailable.”

“I happen to like challenges.” His shoulders go tense when the door of the house in front of ours opens, and the girl whose name we don’t know yet walks out, some cash on her hand. There’s a bike in the street, some skinny guy pulling handing her two boxes of pizza.

She thanks him with a wide smile, and Rhys takes a long gulp from his beer.

“Yeah, but you’re a sore loser.”

He smiles wickedly at me. “Which only means I have to make sure I don’t lose.”

I roll my eyes, and he simply lets out a dark chuckle. I’m not joking when I say any of us could get literally any girl on campus we wanted. They’re practically drooling at our feet, mostly after games, and the quota of girls drastically increases if we win it. But, after a couple years playing for the Night Beasts, and getting used to the attention, it has only made it… boring. Predictable.

Too easy.

Rhysand grabs the keys of his pick-up truck that were laying on top of the fridge and hands me his half empty beer bottle.

“Where are you going?”

“To buy the best fucking wine I can get my hands on.”

He leaves before I can stop him, and I’m left on my own in the big, dark first floor of the house, surrounded by nothing but shadows, peeking trough the window like a complete stalker, at the way they’re sitting in the kitchen table, eating pizza and laughing. My eyes glued to one of the sisters in particular, her soft smiles, the curve of her neck, her lips wrapping around the straw of her drink, putting such filthy images in my head I force myself to look away, adjust the bulge on my pants and go take a cold shower.

Fuck.

It’s going to be a long year.

————————————

in honor of time magazine softlaunching elriel i decided to post another chapter! I actually never thought people would read it so i'm glad you guys are liking it<333

#elriel #pro elriel #elain x azriel #pro elain #azriel x elain #acotar #azriel #elain archeron #elriel AU #elriel fanfiction

28 notes · View notes

chaotic-on-main · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’ You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you.

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

“You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma

If you'd like to be a part of my taglist to be notified for not only the rest of this fic but for my other writings, please go here!

☾ Previous Chapter: June Part 3

☾ Next Chapter: June Part 5 [Final]

101 notes · View notes

metalandmagi · 5 months ago

Text

The differences in Aspec representation

(and why variety is important) I didn't know what to title this, but since it's pride month, I wanted to talk about two books that I just read and the different approaches they take to aspec representation....mainly because no one I know would read these and I just wanted to talk about them lol

Book 1: Attached at the Hip by Christine Riccio.

This is a New Adult romcom where our main character, an extremely co-dependent 23 year old woman named Orie competes in a Survivor type reality TV show to prove to her family that she is totally not co-dependent (and you know, to win the prize money and stuff).

This book is what I like to call "accidental" or "sneaky" aspec rep. What the fuck does that mean, you ask? I call it that because the author includes a scene in the book where Orie is talking to another character about her view of romance, and the other character makes the comment that it seems like Orie is demisexual or demiromantic or aspec. And since Orie is not the kind of person who thought to ever google her sexuality, we're kind of just left to sit with that. So even though the main character never calls herself demi, the readers know that she is. And more importantly, the themes in this book are so attuned to the aspec experience it's not even funny.

Remember how I said Orie is co-dependent? Well, the main conflict of this book is Orie coming to terms with being able to do things by herself and struggling with the fear that her family and friends will all abandon her one day because she feels like a perpetual burden or third wheel. She wants to find her perfect fairytale romance, but she has a hard time connecting with people that way, so for a while she thinks it's best to stay with her boyfriend that she clearly feels nothing for, just because she feels like she's supposed to. By the end of the book, Orie feels like she must pivot into being able to do EVERYTHING by herself because she might be forced to eventually. Sound familiar? I can't speak for everyone, but this is something most aspec people struggle with their entire lives. Yes allo people can have this fear too, but I feel like it hits us differently. Because the world doesn't treat platonic friendships as importantly as it should, and because we don't view romance or sex the same way as most people, we are left with that fear of exclusion all the time!

This book is the aspec experience, whether the author intended it to be or not, and it actually hit me much harder than I thought it would because I was completely blindsided by it. It's a super funny, heartwarming romcom, especially for fans of Survivor. I loved it because it made me feel even more seen than a coming-of-age grapple with sexuality like Loveless did. And I don't even know if it was on purpose. I've followed Christine Riccio for a very long time, and idk if she is some form of demi, but her characters and themes (even in her other books) make it seem that way.

Book 2: Aces Wild by Amanda Dewitt.

As you can probably guess, this book is completely, unapologetically ace in its representation. The plot revolves around a group of aspec teenagers who rob a casino in Vegas. Which means that yes, it's basically a modern AU Six of Crows fanfic where the author wondered, "What if Kaz Brekker grew up as the rich heir to a casino empire?"

I promise I don't mean that like an insult, because I actually liked the book a fair bit, especially the writing style. It's hilarious and fast paced, and as someone who is extremely familiar with casinos, this is the kind of book that makes me angry because I should have written it first.

The thing about this book compared to Attached At The Hip is the fact that the characters are aspec is completely irrelevant to the story. AND THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY! AUTHORS DO NOT OWE IT TO PEOPLE TO MAKE EVERY QUEER STORY A COMING-OF-AGE STRUGGLE WITH SEXUALITY! This book is a fun romp, and the fact that the characters are aspec doesn't really make a difference to anything at all. The main character still has a crush, and there is still romance just like any typical YA romcom. HOWEVER, my only real problem with this book stems from the side characters feeling like cardboard cutouts with no reason to feel like they're all friends. Their interactions aren't bad, but the book relies on the fact that our main group is all aspec to convince the audience why they're friends. We get a little bit of backstory about how they're all nerds who met in a chat room, but not much depth to them. There are too many side characters and too few pages for anyone (except the main character) to feel fleshed out. It's because of this that it feels like the aspec rep is sort of...an afterthought. I don't know if the author is aspec (and it shouldn't matter either way) but I don't like it when characters (especially ace characters) feel like afterthoughts. We get enough of that in real life.

But that doesn't change the fact that this is the only book I've read (or media I've encountered in general) where the majority of the characters are aspec. It's a hilarious good time, and this type of low stakes representation is just as important! It's important to show that aspec people exist without needing to fit a "coming to terms with your sexuality" kind of narrative.

So yeah, this was just my excuse to get my thoughts in order, and to try and convince people to read these 😅

#asexuality #aromantic #lgbt #books #reading #attached at the hip #aces wild #if you go into either of these expecting something like Loveless...you're going to be disappointed #but if you want a different kind of representation that still feels authentic...these worked for me!

12 notes · View notes

femslashedtires · 9 months ago

Text

I posted my thoughts on Playboyy on MDL, but I also wanted to get in on the discussion here :)

Playboyy, I think, is something quite special. Before I get into a review though, I want to clarify what Playboyy isn't because I feel this show is getting a bad rap from viewers who came in with false expectations and were disappointed by the reality:

This show isn't really "BL" in the traditional sense. While there is romance, it is not the focus of the show. The romantic relationships frequently take a backseat to the the personal development of characters and the relationships between friends. It is also nowhere near "an idealistic world free of homophobia" (or, as in more modern BL, a world where gay love triumphs over societal homophobia)--it is a very real and harsh world where the characters are hitting rock bottom. Finally, a lot of the NC scenes aren't trying to be sexy or titillating. They function as pieces of the plot and often depicting negative experiences.

I think going into the show with these expectations in mind makes it a better experience. But on with the review:

STORY: I, personally, really loved the story of Playboyy. As someone who has experienced losing friends badly to drug addition, I found Nont's story particularly raw and effective (and, honestly, quite triggering). I thought the decision to use an ensemble cast and a weaving narrative was especially effective in creating a real sense of this disadvantaged and isolated community caused by societal prejudices. It was very satisfying to watch these narratives bump into each other, often in completely accidentally and tragic ways. While I agree some of the story was over the top or hard to follow, I didn't find it particularly detracted from the quality of the show. I like getting a little exaggerated in my narratives and I think it fit with the highly stylized production. While it wasn't a water-tight plot, I think it was probably the strongest script in the past year in terms of really exploring the depths of the characters and their conflicts. None of the characters felt like extras or like they were leaning on tropes. Each individual had their own story to tell and had their moment to shine.

ACTING: The acting in Playboyy is a bit hit and miss. As a stand-out star, Dech is absolutely untouchable. Nant/Nont are a monster of a roll that swings between camp, performative highs and truly raw, exposed lows, and he brought me along with him every step of the way. Really, really impressive work. Shell was a wonderful partner for him, matching him in almost every scene and developing a unique and intriguing chemistry. I also greatly enjoyed any scene with Parm and/or Aun, which always felt very grounded and warm, and was continually impressed by Korn, who managed to maintain a necessary friction between Zouey and the rest of the cast. Beyond these actors, the performance were a little bit shakier. Some of the actors struggled with stilted line deliveries (and I don't mean the English, which I've never had a problem with) or unnatural body language. I was never quite sold on Jack/Chat or Jeffy/Fay as couples, though each actor shined in other areas (such as Chat and Korn's wonderful friendship). In particular, and unfortunately, I found Hymn took a stylized drama and crashed it into melodrama more often than he stuck the landing. That said, I still found this ensemble created a style that played to their strengths well and rarely rendered a scene ridiculous.

PRODUCTION: Production is where this show really, really shines. The lighting is absolutely gorgeous, full of intentional color, harsh shapes, and neon texts. Each arc and couple has their own world and visual language that helps sort out the massive cast and is, quite frankly, beautiful. The highly stylized, theatrical sensibilities also help highlight the moments when humanity comes crashing in and we left very broken characters in plain framing. It's really, really beautiful to watch. I know I'm in the minority here, but I love the costuming of this show. I think the underwear was a phenomenal way to juggle the desire for nakedness with the reality of film-making and the comfort of the actors. If you allow it to, the underwear becomes part of the style and lets the characters exist, naked and vulnerable, without becoming exploitative. I also loved the way fashion (especially Nont's) brought it's own sense of drama and feeling to the characters. Realism clearly wasn't the goal here, and this department delivered.

NC SCENES: Finally, because it has to be talked about, I think the way the NC scenes were stylized were nothing less than brilliant. Playboyy telling a story about the human condition through sex, it is not making porn. When the characters are feeling good and feeling pleasure, the audience is allowed to find the sex scenes hot. But more frequently, the scenes depict a vast variety of other emotions. When Zouey is feeling awkward, nervous, and uncomfortable, the scenes are made awkward with clumsy blocking and…eccentric soundtracks. When characters are being hurt, the scenes are painful and brutal and shocking--escalating quickly and making you wish it would slow down or resolve to something different. It's incredibly effective. I've been very disappointed at the way BL fans discuss sex in this show, as if the only purpose of an NC scene is to provide spicy fanservice for the viewer to get off on. The old Oscar Wilde "Everything in the world is about sex. Except sex, which is about power." definitely holds true here. For these characters, sex that is about their own pleasure is rare and the show mirrors that reality. But that doesn't make the scenes bad or "accidentally" ridiculous. It is an intentional part of the story and, in most cases, very effectively done.

In all, this isn't a show that I would widely recommend to everyone, largely on account of the seriousness of the subject matter. But I am infinitely grateful that this show exists and is pushing the boundaries of what stories are acceptable to tell in BL. I've genuinely enjoyed my time in this world, and I very much look forward to the to be continued. :)

#playboyy the series #tldr loved it loved dech got badly triggered like three times and would do it again immediately #production for the gods and i will fight to the death for the stylization of the nc scenes... one day this will be an essay...

21 notes · View notes

jojikawa · 2 years ago

Text

𝘿𝙞𝙤 𝘽𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤 𝙈𝙤𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙮𝙘𝙡𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

Dividers

Warnings: light NSFW Themes

Art by Grandia Lee

Takes place in modern times/present day. Dio and his (fem-bodied) significant other are vampires. This is follows the same interpretation of Dio and the reader from The Bride of Dio.

Dio is mostly content with the level your relationship is at. You dote on him like any wife should for a man of his stature.

But he wanted more. What more can Dio do to make you more in love with him than you already are?

A…motorcycle?

Yes. Definitely.

Without your knowledge, Dio disappeared. He bought to motorcycle with your shared funds and reappeared in the night, trying to romance you with his new ride.

He tries really hard to fish for validation, not at all caring about your seething attitude from him spending so much money on anything that isn’t a proper vehicle. Has a big “aren’t I cool now?” type of energy.

Teaches you how to ride it. You make him blush whenever you ask for help.

Is always eager to aid you. Sits behind you when you ride with his torso pressed against your back.

Talks surprisingly calmly whenever you’re afraid of accelerating.

You never fall. Dio doesn’t let you. You’re always caught before you can hit the ground, no matter how fast you guys are going. He’d rather have the motorcycle destroyed before you get hurt during his antics.

The two of you kiss at red lights.

Also likes when you wrap your arms around his waist and tighten them when you think you’ll fall or when he picks up speed. It’s the small things, really.

Probably imagines you polishing the motorcycle in something sexy like lingerie or a bikini while he watches. Or just naked in general bc he’s just dirty like that.

I love writing these :3c

#jojo x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo imagines #jjba headcanons #The Bride of Dio #dio brando x reader #dio brando x black reader #dio x black reader #dio x you #dio x y/n #dio x reader #dio brando headcanons #dio brando imagines #dio brando #Modern Dio

140 notes · View notes

spicerackofblorbos · 9 months ago

Text

Chapter 8: June - Part Four [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

‘Can we talk?’ You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

So much for trying.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

‘What about you?’

‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren��t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

“I love you too.”

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 3 ☾ Next Chapter: June - Part 5 [Final]

20 notes · View notes