#is quiet and calculated bc drawing attention to myself in my childhood home was not safe. but i need to access
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#personal#so. im talking to angry people now. how do i be angry. dont get me wrong i am angry. so much of the time. but im also cptsd and my anger#is quiet and calculated bc drawing attention to myself in my childhood home was not safe. but i need to access#both an immediate anger of volume for a situation im confronting today and also a release. a real release not a compartmentalization#of anger that is old and deep and blocked from me. i need it released ideally before new moon on halloween#i need to know where it sits so deepseated so i can redirect it into magic with the new season#i dont know how to feel it. i dont know if my limitations as an alter will let me but the body needs to. the brain needs to#angry people how do i tap this boiling roiling magma without burning myself alive too#angry#so much rage and ive done so much work to keep it hidden but the time inches ever closer that it must come out somehow#screamy music isnt enough thats my standard music so its lost its rage edge. what works to encourage anger?#google is useless i ask for which crystals help activate anger but they only give me shit to calm and reframe not to actually feel#what needs to be felt.
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