#is just an excuse to talk shit about women who share an f/o the person doesn’t like sharing

[myherowritings]

All That Ass

— One night at the gym, you see a handsome guy with so much ass, you take a picture on the sly and send it to your number neighbor, Bakugou, to freak out over. But what you don’t expect is for him to reply with a picture of you from the same gym.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x f!reader word count: 1,876 genre: number neighbor au!!, fluff

a/n: this is a bonus “what if” scenario based on these asks i received about baku and y/n meeting at the gym while he’s doing leg/butt day LOLOL,, just to be clear, this isn’t a canon part of the nn-verse! it’s just a hypothetical oneshot answering the question “what if they had met this way” AND I THINK IT’S SUPER CUTE!! i hope you enjoy and pls lmk what you think !! xx

“So… Does anyone want to go to the gym with me?” you asked cheerfully, sending a pointed look Shinsou’s way.

You knew Midoriya had already gone this morning (though, if you asked, there was no doubt in your mind he would go again), and Todoroki had just come back from swimming laps at the pool, so your roommate, Shinsou, was your best bet.

Too bad said roommate would rather stay home and play outdated games than workout with you. 

When he didn’t reply for a solid five minutes, you poked him on the bicep-- How he actually had muscles considering how lazy he was would undoubtedly remain the world’s biggest mystery. 

“Hello? Earth to Shinsou?”

He slowly tore his gaze away from the television, looking up at you from his seat on the couch. “Did you say something?”

Giving him your best smile while fluttering your lashes, you sang, “Does the best roomie in the world want to go to the gym with me?”

“No.” Shinsou hardly blinked. 

Your mouth formed a small ‘o’. “Wha--? That’s it? You’re not even going to give an excuse?”

“Nope. Just go by yourself,” he dismissed. “You always talk about how you’re a ‘strong, independent woman’, correct?” 

You scratched the back of your neck-- A habit you picked up from him over the years. “Well, yes…”

“And strong, independent women should be able to go to the gym by themselves, right? 

The only way you could respond was with an incredulous nod. 

“Glad we could agree,” said Shinsou with a wry smile. “Have fun at the gym, then!”

“I… Thank you…?”

And with a slightly confused expression you grabbed your keys and duffle bag and walked out of the door to the recreation center near your apartment, vaguely hearing Shinsou chuckling in the background.

It wasn't until you felt the chilling breeze of the outdoors that you snapped out of your trance. 

“Dammit,” you muttered under your breath. How was he always so persuasive? Sure, at times you could be the slightest bit gullible, but regardless, his skills were almost inhuman.

You huffed, shaking your head as you entered the reception area of the gym. After showing the workers your membership and brushing your hair out of your face, you headed upstairs to do some cardio. 

“Excuse me, are you done with the StairMaster?” you asked the blond-haired guy wiping down the only open machine. 

A bead of sweat trailed down the side of his face to his neck and you had to avert your gaze before he could catch you gawking. 

“Just finished,” he said, his voice a gruff timbre that was surprisingly pleasant to the ear. He finished wiping down the handles and nodded your way. “Go for it.” 

You beamed, setting your water bottle and phone on the machine to get situated. “Thank you so much!” 

He huffed. “Yeah, whatever.” 

That wasn’t exactly a warm ‘you’re welcome’, but you shrugged it off with a small smile, stepping on the stairs and starting a light warmup. 

You placed your earphones in and played some music to set the mood, ready to work up a sweat. Cardio was a pain, but it was worth it if it meant having a nice butt. (As well as making your heart stronger and increasing your lung capacity, you supposed, but those were mere seconds to the booty gains.) 

As you upped the speed and got into the swing of things, you felt your eyes wandering around the room to your favorite part of the gym-- The squat and deadlift area. You noticed a handful of people were littered among the equipment and after your short inspection, you hummed to yourself.

Yup, things were definitely looking good there.

Absentmindedly, you saw your screen light up out of the corner of your eye and you unlocked your phone, briefly checking your messages. Or rather, checking for a certain message from a certain someone.

Still no reply? you sighed, placing your phone back on the StairMaster and trying to distract yourself by looking back at the students doing some leg exercises.

Almost instantaneously, your eyes were drawn to the blond who was using the cardio stairs just before you came. 

StairMaster plus squatting what was easily 75 kilograms within ten minutes? You had to stop yourself from practically swooning on the spot. That was some serious gluteal strength he must’ve had.

He was finishing up his current rep of back squats, cheeks flushed pink and hair sticking to the sides of his face with sweat. Not only did he look unfairly handsome, but he had a hot body as well. 

His arms were toned with a nice amount of muscles on his biceps and triceps--oh, goodness, his triceps were really something else--and he had impeccable posture as he squatted. (Not that his posture was the first thing you noticed about his squat, of course.)

You were staring so intently at this beautiful specimen of a man that he himself noticed, pausing briefly to try to find the source of the laser beams he felt on his behind. Before he could catch you gawking, however, you tore your gaze away and grabbed your phone, trying to pretend you were on it this whole time. 

When he looked away, you sighed in relief, opening your camera app and peering at him through the screen.

You weren’t sure why, but you had a gut feeling your number neighbor, Bakugou, would’ve loved to share this beautiful sight with you. He seemed to be having a bad day and you figured a nice booty would be just the thing to cheer him up. So, really, you only wanted to take a picture of the hot gym guy out of the kindness of your own heart. 

After snapping the photo, you sent a quick series of texts freaking out to your ‘bakubestie’ along with an attachment of the image of the blond guy’s backside.

Y/N: *Attachment: 1 Image*

Y/N: HDJSJDJD IK I’M LIKE QUADRUPLE TEXTING RN AND I’M SORRY (but rly what’s new)

Y/N: BUT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD APPRECIATE THIS PIC IDK WHY DON’T QUESTION MY IMPULSES OK

Y/N: i’m at the gym and this hot (albeit a lil bit of a grumpy grump :/) guy is here and woW

Y/N: like i’m just trying to work out in peace but his ass is all “hi there (       )(       ) how are you (       )(       )” AND I FEEL SO ATTACKED,, how is one person allowed to have all that ass? save some for the rest of us pls bro

After getting a good percentage of your thoughts and thirst out, you let out a sigh of liberation, upping the intensity of the StairMaster to further get your jitters out.

As you continued scrolling through your phone to check for texts from your roommates, you heard a bark of incredulous laughter from the other side of the room. You distractedly looked up, but after seeing nothing out of the ordinary other than the hot guy grinning at his phone, you shrugged and placed your cell down to get back to your workout.

The intense climbing only lasted for about three minutes before you got a text message from Bakugou (which you knew only because his text tone was ‘It’s so fluffy!’ from Despicable Me while everyone else’s was the default chime). A bright smile made its way to your face as you lowered the speed once again, taking a drink from your water bottle to cool down before eagerly glancing at your screen. 

bakubestie: *Attachment: 1 Image*

Curiously, you took a look at the picture Bakugou sent. It was one of someone in the gym that looked quite similar to the one you were in, wearing the same workout clothes you were currently wearing… In fact, it looked like the photo was taken just now from inside the room, right next to the squatting area… 

bakubestie: Too much ass, huh? I could say the same about you

You blinked, taking a few moments to process just what exactly was happening before you yelped in surprise. “What the--?!” 

Your face fumed, head snapping up from your phone so fast you lost your balance and tripped on the incoming stair of the machine. Losing footing, you barely had time to let out a brief, “Oh, shit!” before falling down the StairMaster and onto your butt on the hard floor. 

“Ouchie…” 

There was a moment of silence before a booming laughter was heard from the opposite side of the room, and a mixture of dread and excitement filled your stomach.

Dread because if your suspicions were correct, the guy from the gym you were thirsting over to your number neighbor was your number neighbor. And excitement because--hello--you were finally going to meet your number neighbor! (That was, of course, if he didn’t run out of the gym at the very moment.) You were so excited that you couldn’t even dwell on the utter embarrassment any normal person would probably be feeling.

The scuffling of footsteps moved closer as you rubbed the side of your hip that landed on the ground. 

“Tch,” you heard from above you. You looked up to see an amused expression on the blond gym guy’s face as he extended a hand out to you and checked for any injuries. “You really are a dumbass.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at his all too familiar tone, and you winked cheekily at him while accepting his hand and standing upright. “And you really have a nice ass.” 

Bakugou rolled his eyes as he fought off the blush on his face, your compliment catching him off guard. “Okay, well-- Now I know for sure it is you.”

With an excited grin, you jumped up and down on the balls of your feet. You were filled with nerves and butterflies and you wanted nothing more than to tackle your number neighbor into the biggest hug you could muster.

“You are okay though, right?” he asked, the smallest hint of worry in his features. 

The little crinkle between his brows was so adorable that you just couldn’t help yourself. Your grin widened even more and your face began to hurt from smiling so much. You were certain you looked like a fool, but you didn’t care. 

Before you could second guess yourself, you stood on your tiptoes and threw your arms around his neck to tackle him into a proper bear hug. Bakugou was still a bit sweaty and warm from working out--and you most definitely you weren’t looking any better yourself--but that didn’t change the fact that he felt cozy and safe and smelled faintly like your favorite caramel treat at the candy store. 

“Yes. I’m better than okay,” you murmured into his shoulder. “It’s nice to meet you, bestie.” 

Bakugou froze in shock before letting out a breathy chuckle, slowly wrapping his arms around your waist as you shifted so your head rested against his chest. His hand lingered on the small of your back as he peer down at you with what looked like a smile of his own and you wished you could capture that moment in a frame and relive it forever.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N.” 

[spacehologramcollection]

NSFW Alphabet with Erron Black.

Going to warn you guys, this isn’t going to be the best! I’ve tried to capture Erron and hope I have done! Hope you enjoy. This is probably mid-tier trash.  Warnings; Smut, NSFW, mentions of potential blood. 18+ 18+ under the cut.  GIF does not belong to me. 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) This will depend on what stage you’ve unlocked with him. If you’re just fuck buddies, then chances are he can come across pretty cold and distant. He’ll still make sure you’re okay and do basic aftercare, his mama raised him to be a gentlemen, so he’s not going to be a major dick afterwards. But don’t expect him to hang around and/or be cuddly. That ain’t his jam, he has places to be and coin to earn. If you’re dating, he’ll be a lot softer, slightly cuddlier and a bit more of a gentlemen. He will try not to race off and leave, but it will all depend on his schedule. Busy man with a busy schedule at times. But, he will make excuses and turn down jobs to spend more time with you. B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) He’s deffo a chest kind of guy. Doesn’t matter about the size or anything like that. He’s a sucker for your chest, loves to leave marks and bites on them. Leading on from liking your chest, he’ll be a sucker for your collarbones too. He loves marking them up and has no shame in others knowing you’ve fucked.   His favourite body part on himself would be his hands and fingers. What that trigger finger do? Lots of use makes them a bit rough, but no complaints, because he 110% knows what he’s doing with them. Kind of brags about how good he is with them. Both in a Kombat sense and a sexual one. C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) Loves to make a mess. The messier the better. Gentlemen in the streets, animal in the sheets. I can’t believe I typed that. He has a thing for cumming on your chest and face though. Your chest is for the above reason, because he’s a sucker for it. But as for your face, he loves to watch it drip down your chin and onto your chest. He is pure filth, but you love it. D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He has two. First one; He kind of likes being dominated by you. He’s a sucker for a woman who isn’t afraid of taking charge. Like tie him to the bed, ride him and pretend to use him. He’s totally down for that. He won’t admit it because it’s not a very masculine thing to want. That, and if Kano or Kabal found out, he would not hear the end of it. You know that Throne that Kotal sits on? Would not mind having you suck him off whilst he’s sat in it. He doesn’t want to rule fuck all, he just wants to have you give him head whilst he’s sprawled on it. It’s potential as an insane fuck location is being squandered, by being used to house the royal arse and used for professional business only.   E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Yeah, he’s experienced. I mean, he’s been in outworld for like over 150 years, not to be gross. But he’s probably had more than his fair share of experience during those years and beforehand. Plus, he was in the Black Dragon for a period of that time. So, it’s pretty self-explanatory. He knows what he’s doing however. He could have you a screaming, moaning and begging mess within minutes.  Always with a smug smile on his face. F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual) Depends on if he’s in more of a sub or dom mood. If he’s in a Sub he’ll love you on top, fucking him hard and fast, your hands clawing at his chest whilst you’re trying to hold on. If he’s in a dom mood, he’d be a sucker for your, laid on your back with your legs spread wide for him. It’d give him good access to you, as well as being able to look at your face, looking at how much pleasure you’re experiencing. G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) He has his serious moments and his less-serious moments. If you’re casually hooking up, he’ll more likely be goofier, more laid back and less intimate. He won’t make proper jokes and go out of his way to make you laugh however. He’ll just say some stuff, or maybe laugh a little with some the teasing talk you say. More of a breathless laugh than a taking the piss laugh. H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) Surprisingly is groomed. He thinks himself a bit of a lady’s man, so he knows what most women like/care about. He knows no-one is going to give him head, if its just a mess down there. It ain’t cute or pretty. So, he takes your opinion into account. Don’t get me wrong, its not like manscaped, because he doesn’t do that, but fairly groomed. I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)  He's not intimate if you’re just fuck buddies. It’s strictly buissness almost. You guys are just getting rid of some sexual tension. It’s nothing intimate and romantic, purely just some sinful fucking and nothing more. If you’re dating he can be more romantic, he can sweet talk you if you want and be all gentle and soft if it’s what you want. He’ll reserve being extremely romantic for maybe something like Valentines Day (He is a bit of a softy for that sort of shit) anniversaries etc. No matter the situation, he’ll make you feel fucking divine and perfect. J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) No shame in him admitting he does it. Sometimes there’s just a need for it. Even if you’re having regular sex, you can’t be with him all the time, for example when he’s on jobs away. He’ll always admit that you’re the thing he thinks about the most. K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) I have two Headcanons for this. The first is he is a big ol’ switch. Doesn’t mind domming and doesn’t mind subbing. He’s easy going and will go with your preferences. When he’s more dominates, he’d be a sucker for collaring you. When he’s a sub, he wouldn’t mind being tied up, gagged and potentially degraded. Squick warning for this one, it stems from the reveal that he had a thing with both Nitara and Skarlet. He’d maybe have a small blood kink. Mainly you biting him so hard it draws blood kind of thing. This is just my opinion stemming from his intros in 11. If you aren’t into it, you aren’t into it. He isn’t going to pressure you into any of his kinks. L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) Is not fussy where you fuck. He’s not just limited to the bedroom and gets off on the adrenaline of being caught. Type of person to fuck you in the Palace Gardens, in the dining hall when nobody is around. Hell, he’d even fuck you on Kotal’s throne. He has a thing for outdoor sex, like fucking the dust and sand. Reminds him of home a little, very sentimental. M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) You being powerful gets him going. Just being strong-willed and not afraid to talk back and stand up for yourself. He sees it as a challenge almost. He also would get off on teasing, maybe you flashing a smile, running a hand up his thigh, all during meetings/talks. Dirty talk as well. He’ll love it if you have a filthy mouth. He has a way with words too, and he has the skill to back it up. Would get slightly turned on if you called him ‘Daddy’ He’s such a fucking sucker for it. If you ever decided to strip for him too, that would be something that would turn him on something fierce. He’s a sucker for someone who doesn’t mind being a bit filthy and open. Once got turned on seeing you in his hat and nothing but his hat. He once got hard and had to fuck you on the spot, when he taught you to shoot. Something about you handling his gun so carefully and listening to him. N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Please don’t try and speak like him. It really does not do anything for him. Makes him cringe a little on the inside. Also, doesn’t like bratiness or anything of that sort. Do not compare him to others to make him jealous. Or don’t make him feel jealous in anyway. He’d be down for a threesome if you were fuck buddies, but if you’re dating, he wouldn’t want to share. Even if you were fuck buddies, he’d still feel a little jealous. But no. Don’t be degrading him and comparing him to some other man. He isn’t into being cucked. O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) The man is experienced and skilled in both giving and receiving. He does prefer to give though, which all stems back to him being a switch. Nothing better than having you clawing at the sheets, head thrown back and moaning his name loudly. He’ll fucking tease as well. You want him to finish you off? You’re going to have to be good and do as he says. When he’s in a more submissive mood, he’d love it if you just sat on his face, he’s such a sucker for it. Feeling your legs around his face, watching as you moan and writhe. God it gets him off. So, him preferring to give rather than receive works for him. However, he does love receiving don’t get me wrong. ‘You gonna suck daddy’s cock sugar?’ Is a phrase he uses often when he’s receiving. P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Whilst he’s not against slow and sensual when you’re dating. He does prefer fast and rough. It just works out for him. Doesn’t matter if he’s rough with you or if you’re rough with him. It’s just his preference. His life is always fast lived and pretty fast, so it’s just how he prefers sex. Who knows when he’ll have to leave? Best to make the most of it. He can be soft and sensual; however, this is a side you’d see if you’re dating him and its serious. He’ll sometimes love to take his time with working you up, having you beg for him and leaving you a panting mess. It’s rare he’ll get to spend a lot of time with you, so this is a rare occurrence. However, he does love it and wishes he could do it more often. Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) Leading on from the above, he’s more into quickies than proper sex, because it’s all he can manage most of the time. If you’re fuck buddies, then quick and dirty sex is always on the cards. Is nothing serious, so its just you two venting emotions and just getting a release. So, there’s no need for proper, intimate sex. If you’re dating, the quickies are still happening, because it’s all he can manage at times because schedule. He’ll make it more intimate and try and take it slower, trying to savour every moment of your body against his. Does like proper sex but he’s so used to quickies now they have become his preference. R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) He’s always game to experiment and take risks. The thought of getting caught fucking you would get him going. He’s down to try new positions, new locations and even new kinks. If you’re down to explore he’ll be right there with you. He’s lived a long life full of exploration, he knows what works for him and wants to explore yours with you. What a gentlemen. S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) He can last a fair bit. If he had his way he’d spend a whole day fucking you in bed, trying to see how many rounds you could get in. This has yet to happen, because he’s kept busy these days. So, he manages one quick round, not because of his stamina but more his schedule. T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) He doesn’t own any, but he would be down for them to be used. Both on you and himself. All you gotta do is ask and he’ll oblige. Anything for you. Sees them as pleasure enhancing rather than a replacement. U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Ultimate tease. He loves to tease you, whether it be him flirting constantly with you, or him pinning you against a surface, whispering filth in your ear and then leaving you hanging. Legs like jelly and your mind dwelling on his words. He fucking lives for it. You have a job to do? He’s going to wrap his arms around you, whisper about how amazing you look and how hard he is for you; before getting up and leaving you hanging all day. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and you grow hornier. V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He’s got more of a hushed tone rather than a loud one. It’s more sinful, breathless words, rather than just one loud resounding groan. He’ll be breathlessly panting his pet-name for you, hands tangled in your hair, or roaming down your back. He moans a little and has the occasional grunt. But it’s all well-controlled. W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) SFW; He has so many pet-names for you. Sugar, Sweetheart, Doll, Darlin, Babe. You are amazed at the names he has for you. He does prefer sugar though, and its his go to one. His voice can be so soothing and soft when he wants. At night he’ll stroke your hair, call you your pet-name and kiss your forehead. He’ll like to talk about settling down with you, this is obviously after you’ve been dating a while. He can see a future with you, which is something he never thought was on the table for him. NSFW; Has had threesomes before and would be down for having one (Male or female partner, doesn’t matter) if you were fuckbuddies only. If you’re dating, he can and will get Jealous and isn’t the type of guy to share what he loves. Whether it be his guns, money or you. Hell no he ain’t doing that. You’re his, he knows he’s better than the other person, but he ain’t a fan of sharing. He trusts you, he just doesn’t want to give the other poor sap hope that their worthy of you. Because they aren’t. X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) On the larger side of things, probably pushing 6’3. Knows exactly what he’s doing with it and can have you a moaning mess with ease. Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Its higher than he’d like to admit. He would love to fuck at least once every day, but his schedule permitting means that need is not meant. Leading to some sinful solo masturbation. Wishing it was you instead. Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He falls asleep very easily, he’s knackered and loves his shut eye. He’ll make sure everything is fine and dandy. You’re comfortable, clean up is done and everything is right before falling asleep. He loves to spoon you though. Prepare to have an arm either draped over you or him full on spooning you. Just don’t go blabbing about it, he’s got a reputation to maintain.  

[calif0rnia-lovers]

miguel galindo: nsfw alphabet

a/n: I have nothing important to say, except that I’m shameless. The newest addition to the Mayans NSFW alphabet goes to daddy galindo.

words: 2358

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Cuddles for freaking days! Miguel is tangled up with you, lips against your ear telling you how much he loves you. His hands are often roaming your skin, too often drifting between your thighs. He loves to watch the effect he can have on you when your body is still oversensitized, trying to recover for your orgasm. You tell him how much you hate the boyish grin that breaks across his face when he’s able to pull another from you with just his fingers. His favorite way to recuperate is in the tub. Hot water and bubbles. He loves to have you resting against him, his lips against your neck and shoulders as he drags the washcloth across your skin. He loves how your giggles echo off the walls of the room, and how the water threatens to spill over once the idea of cleaning up drifts from both of your minds.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Miguel loves your ass. He loves squeezing it whenever he kisses you, the feel of it against his palms when he’s entering you from behind. He’s slapping it when you pass, telling you who it belongs to when you’re hanging up the phone.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

It can often depend on the mood. There are moments when Miguel wants nothing more than to feel the warmth of your mouth around him. These are the moments when he has no desire to rush things and is willing to let you take your time coaxing him to a release. In these moments, Miguel loves to watch you take every single drop of him in your mouth. But any other time, inside of you is the only way to go. Miguel loves to watch the satisfaction on your face as he fills you. Although he loves to see the contrast of his cum against the color of your skin, he prefers watching it trickle down your thighs as opposed to seeing it go to waste sprawled across your chest.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

That time Miguel couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel room, and he had his way with you in the elevator. The kid on duty that night can never look you in the eye whenever he sees you, probably because he did more than just simply sit there and watch. Miguel had Nestor pay for retrieval of the tape, obviously. Or that time you stayed at your parent’s house for their wedding anniversary. And, Miguel nearly split you in half with an orgasm so strong you left bite marks on his shoulder for weeks from where you tried to silence your screams out of fear your older brother would hear you through the wall.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Miguel has never been one to sleep around, so his experience with you does not stem from being with a string of women. He’s a man who is quick on his feet and uses his experiences to build. So he takes the time to learn what you love and has no trouble helping you discover new things to top the list.  

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

It depends on the type of day he’s having. When he’s stressed, he’ll have you down on your knees or bent over the surface of his desk, fingers knotted in your hair and pressing bruises against your hips. But don’t think this only comes when he’s bogged with work. This is usually how you find yourself pretty much anytime you’re supposed to be on your way out and you’ve dressed up, whether it be for an evening with Miguel or just to meet your girlfriends. If Miguel doesn’t want to wait until your return home, to get you undressed, you’ll find your palms heated against the glass of the living room windows, or gripping the armrest of the sofa.

When he wants to focus more on hearing you unravel in an entirely different way, Miguel has no trouble going back to the basics of missionary. He loves the way your thighs tremble against his hips, how your breath hitches when you feel the warmth of his mouth and tongue against your chest. The burn of your nails digging into the skin of his shoulders and back as you attempt to suppress the need to scream out. The heat and thump of your pulse against his lips, the unsteadiness of your barely controlled breathing against his ear, fingers gripping his locks as you tell him how to move, only to drift down to guide his lips to yours for a kiss of appreciation when he does as you ask. Shit, that drives him fucking insane.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Miguel is more serious than goofy when in the moment.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

There’s not a single element of this man that is messy.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Miguel believes in romance. He watched his father adorn his mother his entire life, so he believes there is no other way to treat the woman you love. Miguel loves to give you the best of everything. He goes over the top, sometimes in your eyes, but you know there’s no other way. It’s either zero or a thousand percent, and with Miguel, it’s always a thousand percent. You’ve lost track of times you’ve arrived home from work with a new dress laid out for you, and the promise of a wonderful night. He loves taking you out where he can focus solely on you, and not his job. He loves the buildup, the stolen kisses and touches throughout the night that prelude to what’s to come when he gets you home.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

There are moments when Miguel can’t get the sound of your moans on a loop out of his head, and he knows he could quickly release any sexual frustration he has with his hand but that’s not his style. Miguel rather picks up the phone and calls you. He isn’t one to send a text. He wants to hear the change in your breathing when he tells you what he wants to do you the second he gets hold of you. And he’ll wait for you, trust me. But if there’s one way Miguel will get caught pleasuring himself it will be in front of you. And you only. He’ll never forget the first time he’d royally pissed you off and you hadn’t let him touch you for nearly a week. When you’d finally decided the better punishment was to let him merely watch as you used his favorite toy on yourself, Miguel caved and jerked off as he watched it all unfold. He figured, “she said I can’t touch her.” The look in your eyes as he did, let's just say he found a new favorite way to tease you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Everyone knows Miguel has a daddy kink, but tie this man up and he’ll let you do pretty much anything you want with him. He loves when you tell him how things are going down

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Location, location, location. Is it a sin to not have a favorite? Please don’t think the bed is the only place this man can perform. Anywhere he can get your legs over his shoulders, Miguel is game. Nestor has lost track the number of times he’s walked into the kitchen, with the simple desire of making a quick snack, only to find you seated on the island, his boss’s face buried between your thighs. Or out to the backyard only to find the pool isn’t being just used for swimming. Or how many times he’s learned the inviting sound of a Sunday night football game can be pretty deceiving because neither of you was actually watching the game on the sofa. In his years working for the Galindo’s Nestor has learned it’s best to just announce his entrance into the room by calling out yours or Miguel’s name. It’s better than being blindsided by Miguel’s ass when he has you bent over.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Miguel loves you in every form that you come, but he loves to see you getting dressed up for him. Miguel is the type of man who loves the attention to detail, so he lives for the form-fitting dress, to the evening’s lipstick, the spritz of his favorite perform against the crook of your neck or the heels that let him reach your lips faster.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

If there is one thing Miguel has never flirted with, its the idea of sharing you with anyone. At all. No other man or another woman will ever be allowed. That’s off limits.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Receiving: Miguel is the king of dirty talk, but he shuts rights up when you’re down on your knees. He’ll start out, trying his best, to keep the talk up but he’ll shamelessly concede once he’s in your mouth. Then the flip switches, and he’s nothing but praise. He’ll tell you how perfect you’re doing. He’s not one to force your movements, because he knows you love when he’s at your mercy. He’ll let his fingers brush through your hair, against the nape of your neck and along your cheeks. His favorite is when you do it without asking. Come into his office while he’s working, or join him in the shower and he’s all yours.

Giving: Miguel never passes up on the opportunity to find himself between your thighs. He loves to wake you up this way. He loves the weight of you on his shoulders, how your grip on his hair will tell him how to go. He loves the way his mouth can unlock you in a way no other part of him can. This is pretty much the only time, Miguel won’t heed what you say. He’ll go slower if you try and apply more pressure, he’ll pull you closer if you try and move away.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes a healthy mixture of both. He loves the side of you that comes out when you’re both feeling primal. But there’s something about the switch to the sensuality that changes the entire dynamic.  

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Miguel has a lot on his plate, so quickies are a must. Miguel has no trouble “excusing” himself from a conversation, or the dinner table, to sneak you away from a few minutes alone. So please don’t think you’re safe if you have friends over, or he’s got a meeting scheduled in a few.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

It’s hard to not run the risk of getting caught with the number of people who are in your house. And Miguel lives for that shit. His favorite game, how good are you really at keeping your voice down?

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Miguel likes a good quickie, but he likes to make up for it if it ends quicker than you’d like. His main goal is to make sure you’re satisfied, and he won’t call it quits until he does.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Miguel loves to use toys on you. There’s something about you surrendering yourself to the will he can impose on you with them. There’s no denying that he loves it, but he rather see you use them on yourself. He’ll commit each response to his memory so that he knows how to use the toy on you later.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Miguel is teasing. It would actually be frustrating if you didn’t know that it’ll all be worth it in the end. Like I said before, he’s all about the build up. His hands have no trouble drifting beneath your dress or gripping your ass when you least expect it. He’ll whisper future promises in your ears, what that dress is making him want to do with the tie he’s wearing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Miguel has no trouble being heard. He’s not one to keep his appreciation of pleasure inside. His staff has come to learn the unspoken rule that any sounds that come from either of you when you’re alone together are simply to be ignored. He is dripping in dirty talk. He wants to know exactly how you want it, and how far you’re willing to let him take it. He wants you to tell him how he’s doing. He’ll tell you how beautiful you are, how perfect he fits inside of you and what you taking all of him does to him. He believes communication is key to all aspects of your relationship.

W= Wildcard

Miguel loves when you’re on top, controlling the pace. He loves when you take control of him. When you don’t care about the loving connection or the loving words whispered. When you’re only concerned about reaching your peak, and he’s there merely to give it to you exactly how you want it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Where do you think the confidence stems from?

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It's quite a surprise that Miguel hasn’t had to upgrade to a minivan yet.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Miguel isn’t the type to fall out cold afterward. You’re often tangled up with him beneath the sheets, his lips still unable to leave you. His lips are against your cheeks, pressing against your neck. His hands trace over your skin as he speaks to you. This is where his smile is nearly uncontrollable when his body is relaxed against yours. He’ll allow the both of you to come own from your highs slowly.

[thatfriendlyecho]

List of Male OCs: D&D Styled OCs

What, something of substance? On this blog?? Excuse me what????

To give context, these are my D&D Babies™️, at least all of the male ones. I have definitely have not played as all of them, but I would love to incorporate them into a campaign or a story one day.

Quick Warning, I have a lot of monks,,,and I mean a lot.

aNYways, let's get it

Charoseth "Pip" Filburn. Kalashtar monk, lawful neutral.

Doesn't know his first name, so he calls himself Pip bc it's easy for him to remember.

Red hair

Heterochromia (one red eye and one green eye)

His appearance is loosely based on my little brother, who has dreadlocks, similar brown eyes and caramel colored skin

One of my many cinnamon rolls

Kinda gay,,,just a little

A whole baby

Charo, the name of the spirit that shares his body, can't stand Pip because he's kinda dumb, so it always saves his ass from danger by scaring him

Felix. Albino tiefling bard, neutral good.

Has white skin and red, pupilless eyes

Kind of blind

Okay very blind, he can't aim to save his life

Wears a cloak constantly bc the sun is a deadly laser

Was a dancer in a travelling circus

Flirts with everyone, no one is safe

Painfully sarcastic

Insecure about his appearance

Plays the flute and viol

His human mother gave birth to him in a circus tent, but then died after freezing to death three hours later. She was a prostitute living in secrecy so that his father, a tiefling war general, didn't find and kill her.

He gets his albinism from his mother

Silas Ellescar. Elf (Eladrin) monk, chaotic good.

I think most of my male OCs are gay oops-

Loves the stars and sky

In the game he's in currently, he stole a motorcycle and named it Sheva.

In game he has almost died three times bc elves are kinda hated all over the continent he lives in

His character appearance was loosely based on Prince Zuko, minus the scar and excessive angst

He's actually really young, and maturity wise is the youngest character I have (in human years he is 16)

Scarily independent, and he's the most reckless in his party

Loves rocks, his sister, and the sound of "mean people" in pain

Might be a sadist,,,maybe

Teekl Heiresi. Changeling rogue, neutral good.

Another cinnamon roll

It's actually unsure of the actual gender of Teekl, but he uses a more masculine appearance.

Selective mute

Has an "emo fringe", but he just doesn't want to creep people out with the fact that he has one eye so he covers it

He can be the squishiest party wise, but he's really, really good at being sneaky so he hasn't died yet

My first ace character

Questions everything about everything

When he does speak he has the thickest Australian accent

Turns into a mouse when he's scared, it's an instinct that he developed after living in slums

Adonis Lolth. High elf warlock, true neutral.

This is my gayest character

Has no reason to buy, sell, or give a fuck

He made a pact with a demon for revenge, and it has since then fucked with his moral compass

The irresponsible wine mom friend

Talks to himself very often

"Curiouser and curiouser..."

Wears big round glasses

When he smiles it either means "end-my-suffering" or "they'll-never-find-your-body". There's no in between.

His husband was executed after accidentally killing a woman, so Adonis has a personal grudge against women

Phynwen Astreas. Aasimar barbarian, chaotic good.

Brain the size of a walnut

Actually stupid

Stronk but s o f t

Loves butterflies and collects their wings

Chaotic. Very chaotic.

Undyingly loyal

Often called the party's "danger doggo"

Has a personal vendetta against chickens and religion

Speaks Giant for backstory reasons

Is 7'1" but still tries to hide behind people like a little kid

Aroace

Amnesiac

Confused constantly

Never, I repeat NEVER get him drunk.

Lived in a forest after being kicked out of his village

Unnecessarily violent and loud

Zenrir Redfable. Tiefling warlock, neutral good.

No one: H- Zenrir: "Peasant."

Thinks being noble is a personality trait

He absolutely despises it when Teekl speaks because he has no idea what he's saying

He kinda reminds me of Monoma from MHA-

He's literally just an asshole, there's nothing else

Fascinated by poor people

Always angry at literally everyone

Loves children but should never be left alone with one. Ever.

Agni. Fire genasi wizard, lawful neutral.

Curses, like, a lot.

Sparky sparky boom boi

Reads like no one's business

Has a laugh that can cure diseases

Scares kids because he's way too excitable

So,,,squishy

"That's kinda gay."

Hisses before he speaks

Afraid of water because, well, obvious reasons. He was also a pirate once, and almost drowned after walking the plank.

Kai. Water genasi monk, lawful good.

Why do I have so many monks

No, he doesn't know what you just said.

Spacey as hell

"Yes...?"

Gay Disaster™️. Don't flirt with him, his response will be either fainting or screaming. Or both, but that hasn't happened yet.

Smart enough and caring enough to be the mom friend, but he's too spacey

Hugs people for fun

Agni is his brother from another mother, literally. He stayed in their village while Agni rebelled and almost got himself killed with a group of pirates. They reunited twenty years later.

Syrlok Godelyth. A drow rogue/bard, true neutral.

Tried to kill Pip for money, but he got his ass kicked. Pip spared him bc he felt bad.

Pip fell asleep on his shoulder once and it still fucks him up to this day.

The only reason that he has that dumb name is so I can make him say dumb shit and the response will be "No shit Syrlok"

Also angsty

So much emotional baggage

Someone give him a hug

But like...

Metaphorically

I have a backstory for him but it's just very, very angsty. Like grotesquely angsty.

Anjel Nailo. Drow cleric (knowledge domain), lawful neutral.

Forgets that he's a cleric almost all the time

Has a serious staring problem

Has only been seen blinking five times in his entire being with his party

Hates armor with a passion

For some reason he has a charisma of 14 and all he does is stare at people and smile awkwardly

Head over heels for Kai

Related to Melancholia Nailo (one of my female OCs)

That's all of them (for now). If for some reason you read them all then, thank you for reading. I apologize if I started giving less details as I continued, I started at 7:30 and ended four hours later.

Anyway, I'mma go now, bye~

[heartofsnark]

NSFW Alphabet: Mamoru

Note: Here’s my favorite grumpy old man, also, other than Ota’s the dirty secret section on all of these kinda turned into Sex Sent Me To The ER: Bidders Edition. I don’t know why I became so preoccupied with them getting hurt during sex. But, here’s this thing. I hope you all like and it actually shows up in the tags. 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He just wants to cuddle up to his partner and pass out. If MC says they need something, or if they clearly need some tending to afterwards, he will, especially if they did something a bit rougher. But, he’s not the type to worry about doing a whole hell of lot after sex, or ever if we’re being honest. He’s happy to just pass out sweaty with cum on him and just deal with cleanup in the morning. Besides, sometimes he wakes up during the night and wants to go again, so not much point in cleaning up, right?

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He isn’t the kind of guy to spend much time thinking about his body or giving any sort of fucks about his appearance. Honestly, if he could he’d spend his life in his old sweatpants and t-shirt. The only time he genuinely gives a shit is if starts thinking MC cares, than he can be a bit insecure. But, if you really forced him to pick something, it’s going to be his dick. He’s pretty happy with what he’s packing.

He’s a boob man, through and through. They’re soft and just feel really nice in his hands. If MC let him, he’d probably be constantly squeezing and playing with their tits. His mouth tends to gravitate towards them, sucking and teasing them. Doesn’t matter the size or anything, he’s content playing with whatever they have to offer there.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes creampies the most, he knows it’s not always a great idea, but he honestly loves knowing MC is full of his cum. He can be kind of jealous at times and creampies tend to quell some of that, making it feel like his partner is really his. He cums a lot too, so by the end he’ll have made a complete mess of his partner, which he also loves. MC is more put together than him, who isn’t, so seeing them so wrecked and leaking his cum drives him crazy.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He and his MC have fallen off the bed during sex, he got a bit carried away. For a solid moment, he thought he broke his dick and was terrified. Lucky him, he just kind of bruised it and was out of commission for a while. He spent the entire time in bed with ice on his groin having MC pack and carry to him. It honestly would have been nice if not for the whole hurt dick situation. The next time they had sex they were extra careful.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Moderate, he’s probably had around two girlfriends in the past. As much as he talks about liking provocative women and acting like a perv, he’s honestly not that into casual hookups. He’s had one or two, but that’s about it. He just prefers being physical with someone he cares about, that trust makes it better, not that he’d ever admit that. But, he has a high sex drive, so within those two relationships he did get a decent amount of experience. He has a good grasp on what he likes, what he’s good at, and what pleases his partner. Out of the bidders, he definitely has the most normal sexual history.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Cowgirl type positions tend to be his preference, despite what people might think this isn’t because he’s lazy, honestly it seems like sex is  what he’s been conserving energy for. Even if his MC is on top, he’s thrusting and is honestly probably still setting the pace, he has a hard time keeping still during sex. He mostly likes the view and seeing his partner desire him enough to take any sort of charge. He prefers being able to see and touch their chest, or having full body contact with kisses. These type of positions would be his pick:

Watering Can: http://sexpositions.club/positions/101.htm

Cowgirl (duh): http://sexpositions.club/positions/113.html

Crab:  http://sexpositions.club/positions/77.html

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He might make a few teasing jokes in the build-up, but he veers more towards serious during sex. Mamoru gets very into it and he wants his partner to be the same way, he’d rather his partner moan than laugh. That being said, he isn’t above laughing if something stupid happens. Sex isn’t always some picture perfect experience, things happen and he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t a time or two when he and his partner ended up cracking up laughing during sex over something stupid. He leans more towards serious and won’t try to make his partner laugh, but whatever happens, happens.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Please, he barely gives a fuck about the hair people see. His pubic hair is dark gray, bushy, and thick. I also think he probably has a bit of a happy trail or hair on his stomach. He just lets it grow however it pleases. The only time he really would do anything is when he gets with his MC. He’ll trim a bit more often in general because now someone will, hopefully, be interacting with his junk. But, he’ll only put genuine effort in and try to make it neat is if either MC complains or he starts to feel insecure. He does have those moments when he realizes he’s kind of a disaster of a human being and worries MC might truly regret being with him. Kind of like when he suddenly starts cleaning or slicks his hair back for something. Like a sort of, “See, you didn’t make a horrific mistake, please don’t leave me,” sentiment.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Day to day, Mamoru tends to struggle with being honest about his feelings. Even during sex, unless something traumatic (like MC nearly dying)  has happened, he focuses more on dirty talk than romantic talk. He’s more likely to gush about how he loves MC after they’ve fallen asleep and can’t hear him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He jerked off fairly often when he was single. With his MC, he only really jacks off when they have to be apart because of work or whatever. Not if they’re fighting though. If his partner isn’t with him because they’re angry, masturbating just makes him feel really pathetic. He uses porn magazines for his material, yes, old man Mamoru doesn’t even use the internet for his porn needs. MC definitely found a sizable collection of them when they cleaned his apartment.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Spanking Kink, he talks a lot about his partner being bratty and needing punishment, so what better way than watching their ass turn red under his hand. 

Domesticity Kink, if that’s a thing, having his partner take care of him and their home makes him feel loved. Also, he seems to like the idea of his partner in a frilly white apron and if they didn’t want to wear anything under it. He wouldn’t be opposed to it. 

Roleplay/Costumes is one he denies, he has an entire bag of costumes Baba has given him since he got with MC. He’s never thrown them away and while he’d never say anything, if his partner wanted to try a few on he wouldn’t be against it. There’s this playboy bunny one that he’d like to see on them. Just admit your kinks, Mamoru!

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

For the most part, he just likes staying in bed and rolling around together all day long. It might be a bit tame, but it’s nice to just be together in the comfort of home. I can also see him being into sex in his car. Pulling over off the side of secluded road and climbing into the backseat together. It’s a little risky, but not too much, and it just feels very Mamoru to me. I don’t have a great justification. He definitely has to clean his car out first, though.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Domesticity, his partner taking care of him means a lot to him and makes him want to take care of them in another kind of way. 

Semi Bratty Behavior/Demandingness, he complains, but he honestly loves when his partner makes little demands and wants to be a bit spoiled. Like when they want so many kisses a day and then get pouty when he pretends to be annoyed. He thinks it’s cute and he likes making excuses to “punish” them. 

Seeing his partner in his clothes, he’s not quite sure why, but it turns him on. It feels like a very normal cozy couple thing and show him just how comfortable they are with him. He prefers it to lingerie, honestly.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Super dangerous stuff is out, obviously he doesn’t want to hurt his partner. He’s not into heavy BDSM; choking, gunplay, shit or piss stuff, sounding, needles, electric play, knife play, CBT, caging, chastity, or anything with rubber or latex. Threesomes, cuckcolding, or anything involving sharing his partner is not his thing, he’s the jealous type and just the thought makes him feel like shit.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He definitely likes and is skilled at giving oral, but he’d rather receive. It feels a little selfish, but he can’t help it. He tends to think of his MC as innocent and seeing them do something so dirty just excites him. If MC is comfortable with it, he’d like to fuck their face, the feel and look of their mouth around his cock is just incredible.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He usually tries to start off a bit slow, but he can pretty much never keep a slow pace. He gets caught up in it, becoming fast and rough before too long. His usual pace can be kind of brutal.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He likes quickies quite a bit. Proper sex is better, but he gets turned on throughout the day. So, if he can get MC to take a break from work and screw around, he’s going for it. If they ever want to come down to the station and take him away for a quickie, he won’t say no. He prefer it to working, that’s for damn sure.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s not that risky, sex in his car and a little teasing in public is about as risky as he is in regards to getting caught. He’s willing to try things out, though he’s not prone to being the one to introduce things, if he does he’ll try to act like he’s just joking. If his partner asks to try something out he’ll act annoyed, but he’s more than willing. Just admit your kinks, Mamoru!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Ever wonder what he’s always conserving his energy for? Spoiler alert; its sex. He lasts about an average amount of time, but he can cum about three to four times before he needs a break. And after an hour or two of sleep, he’s okay to do it all over again.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t personally own any toys, when it comes to masturbating, he’s fine with his hand. He’s open to getting toys involved though, mostly for his partner. Toys aren’t a huge turn on for him, but if MC wants to use one in front of him or depending on the toy use one on him, he’s willing to try it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Mamo is a tease, he likes seeing his MC all riled up. Seeing them get flustered is fun and turns him on. Though, he’s a ‘can dish it out but can’t take it type’ he gets just as, if not more, flustered if his partner turns the tables on him.. Getting his partner worked up is fun for him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Talker and grunter. He’s not particularly loud and doesn’t want to be loud. He focuses more on dirty talk, finding things to say that excites his partner. When he’s really feeling good and when he cums he’s has a throaty sort of grunt he makes.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He kind of likes/is turned on by seeing his partner jealous over him. He wants his partner to trust him, obviously, but seeing them get upset over other people hitting on him makes him feel good. It’s really rare, he doesn’t get hit on a whole lot and usually he’s the one getting jealous. Apparently his cute partner is more attractive than him, an unkempt man who looks older than he really is and smells like cigarette smoke, go figure. So, seeing they feel the same way and don’t want to lose him either, means a lot to him. He also might milk it a bit, because sometimes he’s an asshole.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I’m still not sure how to describe dicks! He’s longer than average, about 8 inches. More notable is how thick it is, I generally think of him as a thicker guy if that makes sense, his MC can’t fully wrap their fingers around it. No major curve to it but a slight upward tilt, a few prominent veins run along the shaft. Still not sure if I’m giving good dick descriptions.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty high. When he reluctantly wakes up in the morning, he wants to tease and try to have sex. When he catches MC during work cleaning his suite in the middle of the afternoon, he wants to cop a feel and see if they can have sex. When they get home and get done having dinner, he wants to have sex. When he wakes up during the night and they’re still curled up together, he gets handsy and wants to have sex. He honestly didn’t realize just how high his sex drive was until he was in a relationship, anytime they’re close his hands just start to wander.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Unless there’s some reason not to, he falls asleep pretty quickly after sex. He’s always looking for excuses to sleep for a while. The issue is that with all of his napping during the day, he’s kind of fucked up any semblance of a sleep schedule he might have had. He usually wakes up during the night and might try to go again, or he’ll just hold them close and say all the lovey dovey crap he’s too embarrassed to say when they’re awake.

[crabsticksforbreakfast]

A-Z messages

Think of a person for every letter of the alphabet (if you can) and type a message to them without mentioning their name.

A - I find it strange, the way things turned out with us. You were my best friend and I thought you knew me well enough to realise that I would never do what you accused me of doing. It hurts that you didn’t accept my explanation. In a way it feels like, deep down, you were tired of keeping this friendship going and it was a good excuse to end it. The silence will continue for as long as you let it, because I will not apologise for something I didn’t do.

B - Thank you for being the quirky, nerdy, Scandinavian looking weirdo my best friend always wanted. You’ve given her the confidence to do what she wants to do in life and you’ve healed all the wounds caused by those who didn’t deserve her.

C - When I first met you, I admit I was slightly intimidated by you. You are one of life’s beautiful creatures, and I naturally felt inferior. But now we’ve spent more time together, I see that you’re a great person on the inside too. Our Tuesdays always put me in a good mood and I could easily write a book about all the funny things that happen in that room!

D - We have always said it was fate that we met. You understand my weirdness and I understand yours. We’ve changed so much and been through so much, and we’ve always found a comforting voice in each other. I love our random adventures and our misheard lyrics, but most of all, I love you, you rancid old slag.

E - I find it utterly ridiculous how jealous I am of you. You pose me no real threat and I know that even more now than ever, but in my moments of deep insecurity, I will still find myself comparing myself to you, even when you’re long out of the picture.

F - Being around you used to be enjoyable, but you are becoming increasingly bitter and negative and it makes me so desperately uncomfortable. I wish that just once you would try to see the positive in someone and say something nice. It is unsettling to hear you bitch so much about everyone. I can’t help but wonder what you say about me when my back is turned.

G - As soon as I met you, you were there for me. My second mother. And now it seems you have inadvertently given me the greatest gift by bringing your son into my life. Second mother... mother-in-law... it’s all the same really! If only you knew that your secret dream was actually slowly coming true.

H - You are my rock, my sister, my favourite human. I struggle to think of a time when I didn’t have you, although I’ve only had you for around half of my life. I can tell you anything and will always support you in your hard times. You are worth so much more than you allow yourself to have and I hope that you continue to be strong with all you are battling. I love you.

I - You could have just been honest. I had so much admiration for you, but you watched me make a fool out of myself in front of everyone. There was no need to be mysterious about things. You could have just told me instead of fucking with my head.

J - You were my first love, and now you’re back in my life in a completely different way. Thank you for sparking the first flame of romance in my heart when I was a fat little eight year old. You showed me that truly good men did exist in the world. Now, you give me the motivation to break out of my shell and share my passion with others. I could never have done this without you.

K - When you came into my life, I never expected that I’d come to need you so much. For a while, I’ll admit, I thought I’d taken on more than I could handle, but you were going through things I could never have guessed at. Now I have peeled back the layers more, I’ve discovered who you really are and I am so thankful to call you my friend. Thanks for listening to my nonsense.

L - Sometimes you are my most valued confidant, and sometimes it feels as though we barely know each other. You see the world so completely differently to me, and often this can be infuriating, but I know, at heart you are a good person who loves me, and I appreciate that so much. I do wish that I could tell you everything like I used to, but when it feels like you don’t care about what’s on my mind, it makes me retreat from you. I wish things were different.

M - I loved you so much, and even now, I think about you many times during each day. Re-reading my memories of you doesn’t hurt any more, and a part of me wishes we could spend some time together as friends, but I’m scared you’ll let me down, as frankly, you always did. If only you had been as dedicated to me as I was to you. Things would have been very different. But I know that things turned out the way they did for the right reasons as everything is beginning to fall into place for me. I genuinely hope your life gets better and that you are happy with your choices. I hope your health improves and that they can cure you. You deserve every good thing, and that includes my forgiveness.

N - You’re grumpy, you’re foul-mouthed, you’re immature, but you’re the coolest relative I could have wished for. I had to grow up without you but in a way, I feel we bonded better as adults than we would have if I’d been a child. I’m so glad our mutual friend pushed us together on that boozy night. Fucking wanker.

O - When I knew you at school, I didn’t really know you at all. You were just another face in the crowd. Now I know you in adulthood, I have discovered that you are basically me. We like the same things, laugh at the same jokes, we even have the same weird insecurities. You are a good person through and through and I’m so glad you’re my friend. I’m sorry I glared at you the other day. You did not deserve that!

P - You are so wise and so influential in my life. We’re such different people, of different ages, from different backgrounds, but we just gel. Your straight talking advice is always spot on and I love how you remember all the stories I tell you. You genuinely care what happens to me and that is so refreshing. Thank you for letting me stay at your house. Those three weeks saved my life.

Q - You were my stop gap. My stepping stone. I never even met you, but you gave me something to obsess about when I needed to fill a hole in my heart. I still think you’re adorable, but I’m living in reality now. You showed me it was possible to move on from the saddest moment of my life, even if it was all in my head.

R - You were a rollercoaster ride. You spun me round and shook me up and made me feel something at a time when I felt like nothing. Sure, what you did was super shitty, and a part of me still kinda wants to punch you in the face, but you were the best kiss I ever had. I just hope, for her sake, that your wife never finds out what you did.

S - Good god. You are... beyond words. I still can’t believe that when I first saw you, I was so underwhelmed. Now, you set my soul on fire with each move you make, each half-smile, each lingering stare. You are two different people in one, and the one you rarely show is starting to come out and shock me more and more. I really hope you don’t leave before I am ready to leave with you. I can’t wait to spend 48 hours in your bed, wrapped in your arms. I wish I knew how to show you how much I love you. Shower head, bath tub, man and woman symbol, toilet, pink bikini xxx

T - Please, please, please let me stay in my job. Thank you.

U - ......

V - You are such a nice person, but you need to sort yourself out. I do not want to be the one who has to call the ambulance because you ate yourself into a diabetic coma.

W - I miss seeing your happy little face. I miss our occasional nights out. You turned from sweet innocent lady into knicker-flashing wild child. You are so funny and lovely.

X - ...

Y - ...

Z - You are my icon. You are the kindest, most down to earth human being on Earth. You have been through more shit than anyone I know, yet you still keep a smile on your gorgeous little face every day, ready with open arms to give hugs to those having a bad day. Your advice has been the most thoughtful, honest and kind I have ever received and I hope you get the love you deserve. Any man would be lucky to have you, and if we both end up alone in the long run, I’d happily marry you so we can be mad, short, ginger women together.