#is it still daddy issues if you want to kill and maim the guy who reminds you of your dad?

[it-is-i-zim]

sigh I'll bite what about tit out boomerang

Bit of a doozy here. So first of, he's only showed up in like... 5 or 6 panels of issue #3 of Multiversity: Harley Screws Up The DCU so far. Problem is, he's under Starro's control so he's not like... Actually doing anything Starro is making his body do things with the Starro Spore on his face. I looked into Starro's weakness and therefore I could fix him by ripping the Starro Spore off his face. I might have to lock up in a freezer or something but yeah. Also supposedly in comics the hosts are still alive and the based on what happened to Harley... I'd say he's probably still alive under there. Since I want the Starro Spore off his face and I want him to just... Live his life, that's what makes it so far from the original cuz so far he's only showed as a host for Starro. He should be allowed to kill and bite and maim Starro for what they? It? (Wtf are Starro's pronouns. Does Starro even have pronouns???) did to him. Sadly this is like... The most he's showed up in ANYTHING since he died in the movie and since the game has been delayed until February of next year it could still be quite some time before he finally shows up more. So like... 6 panels where he's infected with a starfish shaped facehugger is the best I got rn. So I'm using what I got to craft my own little thing where he's got a sick ass looking Starro shaped scar like how Harley had (she always gets the attention anymore). Normally he's just a silly little guy. A fucking court jester even. But with him being part of a hive mind at the moment we just don't get to see it. Yeah, he's still able to bite and kill and maim, but not in a way he really wants to because of the whole hive mind parasite bs. The og has 2 kinds of daddy issues and I like characters with daddy issues. The original is also an asshole and I love them for it so I'm saying he's also an asshole. I don't think there's a version of him out there who isn't an asshole tbh. I fucking love his design. Except you know... The fact you can't see his fucking face. Can't wait to peel that parasite of his face to look that asshole in the eyes. I hope his eyes are green. It's been a minute since he's been drawn in canon with green eyes. But here's another picture of his design. It's so fucking good. I wish I looked that hot and sexy. I want to look exactly like that. Minus the mind controlling starfish shaped alien facehugger.

AND THE SCARS ON HIS ARMS PLEASE THAT'S SO FUN!!!!!! Then uh... there's his tit.

It's just hanging out of his shirt. There's a big ass hole and you can see his tit through the hole. I need more of this with Boomer he deserves it with his probably around 20 deaths now because Jesus Christ he keeps fucking dying. I MADE A POST ABOUT HIM ACTUALLY AND I KEEP SENDING ONE OF MY FRIENDS THIS SAME IMAGE OF HIS TIT. LET ME QUOTE THEM ACTUALLY BECAUSE I FOUND OUT ABOUT HIM LITERALLY FUCKING YESTERDAY AND I HAVEN'T SHUT UP ABOUT HIS TIT I'M SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS

Anyway... heres the quote:

"STOP SENDING THE TITTY PIC I BEG YOU"

-@rallazarthemagnificent

Sadly I fully expect him to die at least once in this series cuz that's... That's just what he do. He dies. A lot. He means everything to me though and I wish he stopped dying for once.

[metalchick19-blog]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #10 - Patrick Hockstetter

Request: Hi! I’d like to request a ship post for Patrick( mostly cause I’m a guy and he doesn’t care) I’m 5’6, short blond hair, blue eyes. I wear aviator glasses and I dress mostly in pastels. I’m very friendly and charismatic goody two shoes at first and then when you get to know me I’m a massive trash mouth that never fucking shuts up. I’m super impulsive, and just a stubborn dumbass all round. I make no bones telling people how I feel or getting In fights. I fear nothing physical, only ghosts.

You started off as just another one of the many guys that Patrick fucks around with

Hockstetter legitimately has the longest list of male booty calls ever compiled (i.e. he’s a playboy, regardless of gender), and you were just floating around in that vast sea of meaningless sex for the first few months of knowing him

... Which changed the second he keyed in to your double-sided nature 

Patrick had already planned on taking things farther with you than with most other guys (because he was insanely turned on by your straight-laced, “good boy” image)...

... but officially decided he needed to own you the second he saw you drop that charismatic shit and get angry with someone 

* Partly because your impulsive hot-headedness reminded him of Henry, but we’ll sweep that little tibit under the rug *

Essentially just loved the fact that you were ready to throw down at the drop of a hat (meaning you’re crazy as shit on the inside) even though you come off as someone who’s easy to dominate initially 

Basically became Hockstetter’s new goal in life to see how long it would take him to “break” that strong-willed side of you, and make you just as obedient as the “good little girls” he dates 

In other words, he wants to annihilate your strength of spirit and alpha/omega the shit out of you 

Have fun with that fucked up relationship dynamic 

Makes fun of how you dress 24/7

Could not be avoided 

You’ve literally heard every prep joke in the book within the first 2 months of your relationship, and I can assure you they’ll never stop (”What’s the matter, guy - daddy take the keys to your favorite Lincoln last night?” *Highly judgmental Hockstetter cackle*)

Tries to introduce weird pet names for you on a regular basis (he’s called you “cum dumpster,” “right hand,” and “lady killer” completely out of the blue), but you veto most of them after the first time you hear them

Which is good, because it would be kind of horrifying to hear him call a person “cum dumpster” more than once, and he only thought up “lady killer” to get on your nerves 

Calls you “handsome” sometimes when he’s trying to be manipulative, but, for the most part, just sticks with your name now because you’re not about the Hockstetter brand of creativity (though “right hand” keeps reappearing no matter how many times you say stop)

Sits next to you whenever you have a class together and gives you hand-jobs under the desk (during movies, lectures, etc.)

Sometimes makes sure you get called on right as you’re about to cum so he can watch you suffer as you try to answer a question mid-orgasm (*cue ultra-satisfied Hockstetter grin*)

Always the top in bed

Always. 

Patrick has never bottomed, and never will, regardless of the guy he’s with - just be aware.

Not even willing to do it once, because, in his mind, it’s your job to moan and writhe around on a dick - not his

I.e. Hockstetter will always be in the power position. Asking him to do anything other than that is pointless, and will earn you nothing but a particularly mean-spirited laugh designed to make you feel stupid for asking 

... And while we’re discussing the power position...

... the day you start a relationship with Patrick is the day you stop being able to sit down comfortably.

Yeah. It’s that good.

Never takes you around the guys, because even though all of them have an unspoken understanding that Patrick is “sexually fluid,” the understanding is unspoken for a reason

Meaning that Henry can only ignore the fact that Patrick is into guys as long as he doesn’t make it obvious

If he does (i.e. by actually bringing you/any of the dudes he’s fucking with around the guys), he’ll be ejected from the gang immediately (because homophobia + tough guy image + general dick behavior) 

This doesn’t come up a lot as a problem though, because you’ve seen the way Henry loses it on gay guys (aka: guys Henry thinks are gay, who are probably not actually gay)

It’s just common sense that, when it comes to the gang, you’re safer at a distance

Patrick accentuates your height difference often by setting his drinks on your head, putting his elbow on your head and leaning on you, etc.

Mostly just because he knows it bugs you, and legit gets a hard-on whenever you start to get mad (hence why you always fuck after fights) 

* Warning - some descriptions of violence ahead *

Because you don’t have a problem confronting people when it suits you (and because Hockstetter is a level-10 dick), you and Patrick get into physical fights often - some of which escalate into pretty extreme territory 

Patrick either actively enjoys himself the entire time you guys go at it (i.e. laughing and provoking you with extra asshole comments), or goes dead serious the moment the first punch gets thrown - no middle ground 

Totally depends on the context of the situation 

Typically starts out fairly even either way (Hockstetter has a height advantage, but he’s a twig, so you have weight on your side) until Patrick does something so batshit crazy there’s no way you could’ve defended yourself against it

To put it bluntly, these are the moments when it feels like Patrick might actually kill you (aka: “maximum peaks of insanity”)

Example: Once, after you’d just forced Patrick off of you (effectively sending him hard into your bedroom wall), he recovered slowly and stood in silence for a few seconds (his back to you)... 

...before reaching for a framed picture off the wall in front of him

He then tossed it once in his hand to get a better grip (so casual, one might’ve thought it was a baseball), swung around with demonic speed, and smashed the picture (glass forward) into the side of your face

* Homeboy used his full strength, and it would take several stitches to fix that bad boy up *

But this, of course, sent you reeling in a burst of blood and glass shards

As you lay squirming on the ground (caught between trying to talk, putting your hands up to your shredded face, and trying to process what had just happened) Patrick just watched you for a bit - almost enamored by the image of you dazed and bloody 

Then, the fight ended the way you and Patrick’s fights always do

Patrick suddenly broke out of his fucked up killer trance, righted himself a little (you’d fucked him up pretty good, and usually do even though he always comes out on top), laughed in his usual Hockstetter way, and offered his hand to help you up

You took it slowly (and a little unsurely - he’d tricked you with this move in the past) and stood up in front of him as best you could - mostly straight, but still letting your body loll a bit to the side 

Patrick watched you trying to focus your gaze on him (literally living for how torn apart you were) before coming out with a single sentence:

”You gotta’ little somethin’ on your face there, hot stuff.”

He then plucked a small shard of glass out of your cheek, flicked it across the room, and sauntered into the bathroom laughing his bony ass off 

Your fights literally always end in some version of this same manner 

i.e. With Patrick taking control for a few seconds, becoming satisfied when he feels he’s successfully alpha-maled you, and laughing it off afterwards as if you guys didn’t just have a full-on brawl

But it’s kind of a two-way street 

Meaning, after you fix yourself up, you typically go back to normal too

The fight gets fought, and then you guys are good - it settles whatever you were originally arguing about 

You have had fights about the same issues multiple times because of this though, so ya’ll could probably benefit from real communication rather than acting on your impulses 

... Especially since you basically get maimed every damn time 

Just sayin’. 

Cue 10/10 sex, and repeat in approximately a month

Definitely a very intense relationship overall - however probably not something a sane person would want for the long-term

That being said though, Patrick would probably keep you around forever if he could, because you’re the first person he’s ever been with who can handle his “tier 2″ level violence (most people can barely stand tier 1)

So, if you’re into the pain/intensity of fighting, the connection might actually work out

... Provided you don’t get murdered during an argument

Which might very well happen, so... have fun living that life 

[obsessing-stressing]

Fun House: Chapter 9

I paced the room trying to figure out how to get passed Jay and Maria. They stared at me, knowing that I was thinking about escaping. I stopped and turned to them, hands on hips.

"Why does he like me? How can I use this to get what I want?"

They looked at each other and Maria cleared her throat.

"He does not know this because he does not remember her. Bliss, you are very similar to his deceased wife. Did you ever hear the story as to why he and the Bat have beef?"

I shook my head.

"Mr. J was once called Jack Napier and he was a humble comedian. His wife got really sick and he could not find any legal means to pay for her medical bills. So he started working for Urin. You see Urin is the leader of Red Dragon and they used to run the streets before Jack became Joker."

My blood ran cold. I knew who Urin was. His name sent me back, years into the past when I was just a little girl. My father worked for Gotham Police. I remember sitting at the door waiting for him to come home, I was six years old. The old lady next door would watch me until he got home and she was passed out on the couch when a knock came at the door. I ran to it hoping to see daddy, but it wasn't him. A man in police uniform stood at the door. I knew who he was. I've seen him at our neighborhood barbeques. He was staring down at me, face ragged with age and despair.

"Can I come in sweetie?"

His voice was deep and even though it was soft it appeared to reverberate around the room. I nodded and stepped out of his way so he could come in. He woke up the old lady, Mrs. Mayberry and spoke to her quietly. When she began to cry, I knew something bad had happened.

"What will happen to her? She can't go back to that woman!"

She cried, grabbing his arm.

I held my police bear tightly when the man kneeled before me. He told me that my dad was gone, but I was too shocked to respond. I did not cry, I just stared at him. He and the old lady paused when I began to laugh. I did not know how to deal with what he was saying. I was a child and trying to process that my dad was gone was impossible. So I began to laugh and laugh. After a few days had passed I could only lie there on my bed. I understood that my dad was not coming back. My mother, as she was the only living relative, came to get me. She seemed sober from all the drugs and alcohol and I began to think that things would be better with her now. I was wrong. A few months later she sold me for drugs. I was in a whore house for several months, until the man who told me my father was killed discovered my location. It was years later that I found out in my mother's final breathes she told him she had sold me and how sorry she was. I never forgave her and despite the police man's effort the system would not allow him to raise me as he was not family and was single. So, in order to get more money from the government they put me in foster care. Things were better here, safer. I went from place to place until I was 16 and they kicked me out. I was a troubled teen, but who wouldn't be. My life was shit and I was going to do whatever I could to get out of here. Over the years the name Urin kept popping up and after I heard he killed the police man who helped me in a shootout I looked him up. That's how I found out this was the man who took my father away from me and left me to rot in hell.

"Bliss, Bliss?"

I snapped out of my daze when Jay began to shake me.

"What?"

"I asked if you were okay, you kind of zoned out there."

I shook myself and stared at Maria. She could see that something was wrong, but chose not to push the issue.

"I'm fine, continue."

"Okay. So, Jack was doing a heist at one of the biggest banks in the city. Urin wanted this rare Japanese Diamond studded dragon pendant, called wait for it Red Dragon. It was an old piece he claimed belonged to his family. So Mr. J and some goons set out to get it. Urin promised that if Jack could get that pendant, he would save his wife. So that's what Jack did. He was able to get the pendant, but Batman got in the way of them getting back to Red Dragon. One thing led to another and due to Batman's stupidity, Jack fell into the acid bath and became the Joker. It was only a little later after her death that Batman found out that Jack was no ordinary criminal. He was just a man trying to save his wife."

I stared at her. This, Urin destroys lives for dumb things like a fucking pendant. I wish him a painful death.

"How do you know this, Maria?"

"I used to be one of Urin's women, until Mr. J kicked his ass and took everything."

"So I remind him of his, wife?"

She nodded.

"I only saw a picture of her once and from what Jack used to say about her personality, you remind me of her. It only makes sense that Mr. J would see it too. Even if he says all his memories are gone, I think Jack is still in there. Yearning for the woman he loved."

I could understand Jokers pain and if the man I saw when his eyes softened was a remnant of Jack, it made sense. I felt terrible for thinking it, but if I could use this to my advantage I could save Antwan and get us all out of here.

Maria stared at me, seeming to read my mind.

"It could work, but are really going to risk everything for this guy? You do not toy with the Joker and if he finds out what you're doing… I cannot say what he will do and I won't be able to protect you."

Jay stayed silent. I guess hearing Joker's story got to him. I know they've all known each other for years, but I guess that never came up.

"I have to try. Antwan should not suffer from these old men's vendetta."

"We will help you."

Jay finally spoke.

Maria snapped her head at him in shock.

"Should we really be putting ourselves in anymore danger, I mean I like you and shit, but If I'm going to die I'd rather it be for a good reason."

Jay pushed her away from the door and began to open it.

"Maria, if saving an innocent guy's life from the fuckery of this world is not a good reason then I don't know what is. From what you said and how Mr. J acted I think we can all get out of this alive. Bliss, if you beg Mr. J not to harm us because we are your friends and show him that you are willing to submit to him-"

"Wait, excuse me?"

I asked, shaking my head.

"Hear me out. Now he wants you. Whether it's the dead guy in his head or the crazy guy inhabiting it, he wants you. If you can sweet talk him into letting us live and leaving with Antwan then we would be in the clear."

"What are you asking me to do here?"

"Well, I mean you know."

"I'm not going to sleep with him, Jay!"

"He has a point, here. If you want to get to get us out, you're going to have to give Mr. J what he wants. Sweetie, that's you."

I smacked myself in frustration. It hurt, but I needed to make sure this was real.

"NO! I will figure something out, but I will not give my body to anyone unless I want to! Do you fucking hear me?"

I screamed.

A man on the other side of the door yelled back.

"Yes mam!"

"That guy gets it! Now, let's fucking go and we will figure this shit out later."

I rushed past them and shoved the door open all the way before they could continue to speak in stupid. They followed suit and when any of the goons tried to get close they closed ranks around me professing that I was going to be getting my mark very soon. The goons were suspicious, but chose to stay clear of pissing off Joker. Maria and Jay led me through a room and I screamed at the sight before me.

"Antwan!"

I ran to him and covered my mouth. He was strapped to a chair and stared at me, eyes wide. His mouth was sewn shut, but the worst part was he was naked and his skin was gone. He was skinned alive and somehow survived it. I began to cry and tried to reach the bindings, but Jay pulled me away. He shook me to clear my racing mind.

"That's not him, Bliss. It's one of Urin's, men. He tried to kill Mr. J and well the guy would not tell us where Urin was after all the torture. So, Mr. J decided to see if taking his skin would soften him up or at least to see what it would be like to use one of his new toys."

"What the fuck! What the fuck! Oh, hell no. You want me to fuck that monster? Who the hell does that shit?"

"Urin taught him everything he knows, Bliss."

Maria said opening a door in front of us. When Jay pulled me through, she continued.

"Jack was gone the moment Mr. J stepped out of the acid. Bat's had him taken to Arkham and he stayed there for years. Shit was a nightmare from what I could get out of him. The things they do to you there. After spending so much time there being "counseled" he learned how to turn people's words and thoughts against them and used it for his purposes. Soon he was able to escape and Urin found him wandering the streets doing some crazy shit to anyone he could get his hands on. He looked like a clown and felt that everyone should look like him so he maimed them. He found it hard to carve their face while they were still alive, but Urin found his work art and began to teach him how to keep his victims alive."

I gagged at the thought. I heard about the clown faced killer. I should have known it was him.

"Overtime, the man we know as the Joker was created. Bliss, he was not always the one on top and I mean that in more ways than one."

I stared at her, wide-eyed. He and Urin were lovers? I shivered in disgust. She nodded at my reaction. Jay remained silent and continued to hold my arm.

"One day, Urin got a little too excited and slashed Jokers face. He wanted to carve a permanent smile on him. So when he fucked him ragged, Mr. J always looked like he enjoyed it. We both know that Mr. J hates his appearance. Can you imagine how he felt when Urin cut his face?"

"I never saw any scars?"

I said, heart sinking at what Joker went through.

"You wouldn't. It was almost twenty years ago. They healed with the proper medicine, but I'm sure you noticed how big his smile is and how he always seems to be grinning? Almost cat like."

I covered my mouth, trying not to cry. Urin was a monster, who created and even worse monster. Jay squeezed my arm and when I looked at him I could see he was enraged by what we were hearing. I could see that he too loved Joker. I could not understand why, though. I get that his past is shit, but how can they love that monster, I thought.

"So in order to get his revenge of having his face marred he bided his time and when Urin was at his weakest, Mr. J took everything. He killed anyone who got in his way and Urin went into hiding. Until recently, we started hearing rumors about the Red Dragon's return. Mr. J thinks, Urin is behind the mayors new found riches and the reason why Mr. J can't touch him."

"So he took Antwan trying to weed him out?"

I asked, pulling away from Jay because his grip on my arm was starting to hurt.

"You go it sister."

Maria stopped at a red door and glance back at me.

"Please tell me you have a plan? Once I open this door, there is no turning back."

Before I could answer I heard blood curdling screams from the other side. I rushed past her and slammed open the door. Antwan was tied to a giant wheel and being spent around while Mr. J was throwing knives at him. I could see that some of them had hit Antwan in various places. Strangely enough not anywhere that would be fatal.

"Joker, stop!"

I screamed and ran until I was in front of Antwan. I heard him whimper my name, but I ignored him and stared at Joker. His eyes were glazed and his head tilted slightly, he seemed to not recognize me. His hair was disheveled and his red shirt was unbuttoned showing a muscular torso. His breath was heavy and he was sweating. If I did not know any better I would say he was turned on by torturing Antwan. From what I just learned about him, I could only conclude that it was so.

"Joker?"

I flinched when he lifted the knife, aiming it at me, but Maria quietly spoke to him.

"Don't do it Mr. J. That's Bliss. You don't want to hurt, Bliss."

He cocked his head in her direction, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His voice was deep and full of wanton.

"I-I… I told you to keep her in the room. She was safe in the room. Did I not make myself clear?"

He yelled turning and throwing the knife at Maria. Mr. Pearson had moved extremely close to Maria and Jay so he was able to deflect it. She gasped and fell back a step.

"Joker, please don't hurt-"

"Shut up! You don't get to speak. Shut up!"

He started for me, but stopped and grabbed his head. He began to mumble to himself. Instead of moving away I stepped towards him. I did not stop till I was merely inches from him. I knew I was playing a dangerous game, but I needed to get my friends away from him. He flinched when I touched his face, I heard Mr. Pearson clear his throat. When I looked at him he mouthed 'Do not touch his face'. I was being real stupid and ignored him. Joker's face was soft and I could feel some stubble. He groaned when I caressed his face.

"Joker-"

He stopped me again from speaking, but this time it was with his lips. He smashed them against mine. He used his hand to keep me there and used his other to pry my mouth open. The kiss was hot and his tongue tangled with mine. Fear engulfed me, but I also felt a wave of pleasure. It hit me so hard I stumbled, but he grabbed my ass and pulled me against him. His body was so hot and hard and I could feel his dick against my stomach. I tried to pull away because the feeling of kissing and being against him was too intense. My stomach tightened from the lust that consumed my body. He pulled me tighter and lifted me up by one leg, pressing my vagina into his dick. Then he began to walk me forward until I slammed against the wall. The pain of hitting the wall caused me to cry out. He growled and thrust against me. Even through my jeans he was able to hit the right spot and I moaned in pleasure and pain. He rode against me so hard it hurt. His moans were deep and full of blatant desire. It was not until I felt him trying to unbutton my jeans that I crashed back to reality. I opened my eyes to see that Mara and Jay were removing Antwan from the wheel and heading towards the door. My eyes landed on Mr. Pearson, he stared back at me. His eyes were cold and unfeeling.

He tilted his head, some of his hair under his black hat fell to cover one of his eyes, and whispered.

"Do you want me to stop him? You won't like what he'll do to you if this continues."

When I nodded, he immediately ripped Joker from me. Joker roared in rage and turned on Mr. Pearson. When Joker tried to punch him, Mr. Pearson hit him so hard in the stomach that he doubled over. Mr. Pearson though thin in frame lifted Joker up with ease and carried him to a nearby chair. He turned to me, adjusting his hair.

"Leave and do not come back, unless you are ready to take all of him. He won't chase you, but if you return I will not help you again."

I looked at Joker, who lay slumped in the chair. I looked at how beautiful he looked, his face serene. I thought about how it felt to have him against me and how much my body ached for him. It scared me; I should not be feeling this way. He was a monster and abused Antwan for his desire for revenge. No matter the reasons I could list to hate him, I wanted him so much it hurt to breath. I turned for the door and ran towards it, but before I left I looked back at him. When I saw him twitch I slipped through the red door. Running from him and what he made me feel.

[tessatechaitea]

Midnighter and Apollo #4

I like small cocks and I cannot lie!

The Mawzir is wearing a cowboy hat to complete his gunslinger look. Also it hides the swastika on his forehead because kids today are way too fucking sensitive to see something like that.

The Mawzir is one of my all-time favorite villains for a number of reasons that I will explain in this essay. This essay will explain the reasons I like The Mawzir. I like The Mawzir because he is a gunslinger. Gunslingers are cool even though they are inherently violent. That is because guns are weapons used for violence. I know that people say that people kill people but often times they use guns which were made to kill things and not made to butter toast. That is not a criticism of guns like gun nuts are thinking it is and fuming at the face simply because I said it. It is just a fact. The next reason I like The Mawzir is because he looks cool. John McCrea kicked the shit out of his work when he created The Mawzir. He went to work that day and he said, "Work? I hope you like getting your shit kicked because I am in a shit-kicking mood, for sure!" Then he created The Mawzir to look cool. The third and final reason (because essays need three reasons before concluding) I like The Mawzir is his cool attitude. It is cool to have an attitude like The Mawzir's which is why I find him cool. In summary, The Mawzir, for these three reasons, is one of my all-time favorite villains. While Midnighter battles The Mawzir, Apollo faces off against Neron. Neron is busy gay-shaming Apollo although he's pretending Apollo is in Hell for reasons like pride and murder and more murder. I guess Neron doesn't mind being an evil demon from Hell who tortures, kills, and maims for pleasure but he doesn't want people thinking he's homophobic. Midnighter manages to headbutt the bullet through The Mawzir's head, killing it. Probably just killing it until it's next appearance, really. Because who at DC Comics can allow The Mawzir to be dead for good?! He's too great a character. Plus he's a demon from Hell who technically wasn't shot by the Ace of Winchesters so he can't actually be dead. It's in the rules! But for now, it's good enough to get the story moving. Midnighter did manage to get shot while battling The Mawzir and his healing factor probably doesn't work too well in Hell. But he'll still probably rescue Apollo because I don't think this story was written to just leave Midnighter and Apollo trapped in Hell, especially when Warren Ellis is on the verge of rebooting the Wildstorm Universe.

This year for Halloween, I should go as The Mawzir. It's either that or Stephanie from Lazytown.

While Midnighter continues to earn my love and respect for being a cool bad-ass motherfucker, Apollo finally begins worming his way into my heart.

Self-confidence is such a huge turn on. Probably because we most love in others that which we love about ourselves. And I am one confident motherfucker. Some might say arrogant or pretentious or cunt. And maybe they're right! But what the fuck do I care?! I'm loaded with love for myself and nobody can bring me down! Except maybe my mother.

Oh shit. I just remembered I haven't called my mom back when she left a message wishing me a Happy Merry Christmas! Apollo decides to play his own game with Neron. If Neron can answer the question of why Apollo really calls himself Apollo, Neron can have Apollo's soul. Otherwise, Neron must give Apollo back his powers and free him. Neron is the kind of guy who loves to give up all the power he has for a chance to show he has all the power. Overconfidence is such a turn off! It's a fine line from Bonerville to Flaccidtown! But usually overconfidence is confidence stemming from ignorance and bravado and the need to prove something to others. Self-confidence is not giving a fuck about the assholes around you and just living your own life no matter how shitty they are to you. Neron, being a weird idiot, somehow thinks the answer to Apollo's question is that Apollo thinks he's earned the right to call himself a God. Fucking dum-dum! You've been saying that this whole time! Why would Apollo ask you why he calls himself that if the answer is the thing you've been spouting non-stop since Apollo entered Castle Epicurious?! Think before speaking, you vile Twitter Egg! Midnighter follows the path to the Mansion of Happiness to discover Apollo in a large glass flask next to Neron on his throne. Whether Neron's answer to Apollo's question was correct or not has yet to be revealed. Obviously it wasn't correct! But Midnighter doesn't know what's going on yet. He doesn't realize yet that his lover has already saved himself. But Neron sees another possible way to keep Apollo. With Apollo sealed away and unable to tell Midnighter that he's free, Neron offers Midnighter yet another deal for Apollo's soul. A fight between him and Midnighter with Apollo's soul as the prize. Can Midnighter even make that deal? I suppose Hell doesn't care too much about ownership laws. Midnighter is pumped up with Extraño's dark and super gay magic which he's ready to switch on so he can beat Neron to death. But that won't happen until the next issue which is too bad because I really want to see Neron be beaten to death. Constantine let him off too easy. The Ranking! +1 Ranking! The Mawzir may have died but that's a small price to pay for such a romantic book.