#is it really ugly and I just can't see it?
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WAS IT 'CASUAL' WHEN...? — TWST 1ST YEARS
Headcanons on the 'casual' things you do with him that made him wish that there was something more between you.
CW 𓂃 sfw, gn!reader, reader is implied to fit in Deuce's clothes in his part, pining
CHARAS 𓂃 Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier, and Sebek Zigvolt
AN 𓂃 mostly* edited now 😎👍
ACE TRAPPOLA — you slept in the same bed?
Ramshackle isn't exactly known for having the best facilities or furniture, and that is a fact Ace has to make peace with whenever he gets kicked out by Riddle. It's always a little too chilly at night and the floors still creak beneath his feet. Even with a makeover, half of the beds are broken and that stiff couch downstairs is your next best bet at getting some semblance of sleep.
You insisted you really didn't mind sharing a bed at all and Ace took you up on your offer. In his words, "if you say so then!" Just create an invisible partition down the middle and the two of you should be fine. Sure, yeah, that'll be infinitely more comfortable than the couch, and Ace absolutely agrees. He repeats the thought to himself over and over again— this is supposedly the better alternative, isn't it?
Yeah, totally. He tries to convince himself that it's really not a big deal for him to be inches away from you at night and feel your warmth spreading through the sheets. God, you'd think he's a weirdo if you woke up and caught him staring right now, but he could always twist it into a dumb joke about your sleeping face looking like an ogre. Consequently, he would have to watch your face twist in annoyance and pretend he wasn't watching every rise and fall of your chest. He would rather lose his magic entirely than admit the ugly truth and make himself vulnerable to you.
Ace does realize he's being embarrassingly sappy and romantic, and he's disgusted at himself for these thoughts, but he can't help it. He can't change the fact your lips look so soft and your eyelashes are so pretty. This is freaking him out so much more than it should. Does this really mean nothing to you? Do really only see him as a friend? Fine, then the two of you are just friends sharing a bed then!
It's really nothing! Ace was the one who joked about it months ago, after all. But things (and his feelings) have changed and he cannot ignore that. Back then it wouldn't have been such a big deal, but now it is and he cannot calm his heart down no matter how hard he tries.
You're right there. It's not the first time he had to share a bed with someone but it's different now because it's you. He did the math and the two of you are only 10 inches apart. Ace almost reaches for you in his weakest moment until he remembers that the two of you are supposedly just two friends sharing a bed. You're doing him a favor by sheltering him for the night, that's all.
Ace retracts his hand right away at the last minute. He might have as well taken the goddamn couch (lest either of you wake up in each other's arms).
DEUCE SPADE — he lent his clothes?
You came here with next to nothing. You had exactly one change of clothes and pocket lint for change, so Deuce, being the righteous and honorable student that he is, decided to lend you some of his clothes for the meantime. It's what a good friend would do! It's a temporary arrangement that would last only until Crowley spares enough change for you to buy another set of uniforms.
But this arrangement drags on for so long even when you have a functional closet and multiple sets of better-fitting clothes. Deuce never really noticed until recently that a third of your (albeit very limited) wardrobe actually belongs to him. But whenever you tug on his sleeves for his latest sweater, he doesn't have the heart to tell you no.
When he went home during break, his mom even noticed that certain sweaters and shirts had gone missing. "I left them at the college," he tells her as to not worry her. It's technically the truth— it's back with you in the college (and you're probably wearing them right now; the mental image is enough to fluster him all of the sudden when it never did before). He has to get them back eventually since those clothes are his. He's sure you wouldn't mind? Right?
Simply asking for them back is the difficult part for Deuce. You're there in front of him wearing one of his older shirts that fit snugly around your figure and he's at a loss for words. It's worn down and outright hideous as hell but the very first thought that comes to mind is that you look good in it.
Ah, yeah. You walk around campus on non-school days wearing his clothes 1/3rd of the time and nobody else knows that those jackets and shirts and sweaters and button-ups are all his. You make even the ugliest ones look good, or maybe it's because you're the wearer and you always looked good to him? Do his eyes need to be checked...? Deuce is tortured by these thoughts while merrily go about your day. You're laughing at something stupid that Grim said and he can't hear anything else. There's a fight in the courtyard but he can't see anything else. There's a midterm tomorrow but he can't think of anything else. You're too distracting.
When you finally do remember to return a shirt or two, Deuce tells you there's really no need to return them. He insists that they're better off with you, but you laugh and remind him that you're no longer the same pathetic charity case you were at the start of the year.
The truth is, your scent still lingers on recently returned shirts. It's the closest he'll get to being skin-to-skin with you, and Deuce is supposed to ignore that but he cannot. Or maybe he's the only one making this weird for the two of you because it doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest (and he's bothered by that).
But when Deuce looks at the recently returned shirts in his hands, he hopes he has a chance. He hopes you think of him as much as he thinks of you. He hopes the odds of him not actually liking you after all make your guts churn and set butterflies in your chest at the same time. He hopes he isn't the only one yearning for used shirts, lingering scents, and ghost touches. But at the same time, you've only ever asked these kinds of favors from him... Deuce doesn't want to assume anything, but a blush creeps upon his cheeks all the same and he continues to hope for more.
JACK HOWL — you played with his ears and tail?
Beastmen weren't a thing back in your world, so seeing them regularly made you morbidly curious about their animalistic features. Jack was easily the best candidate to satisfy your intrusive thoughts because just who else could you ask about this? Leona wasn't exactly an option and Ruggie might rope you into some scheme of his. And Jack owed you a favor, after all, so this is what you decided to ask of him.
Jack's ears twitched— did he hear you correctly? His face scrunches up in confusion because you barely knew each other for you to be asking something like this. How could you ask something so personal from him? It's in your innocently eager expression that he realizes what's going on... you just didn't know. Fine, it should mean nothing to you and thus he agrees to let you pet his tail and ears for five seconds. Maximum.
It's supposed to be a one time thing but he finds him involuntarily offering up his tail whenever you look him like that. He's not even sure how it got to this point. After all, there are romantic connotations of having your tail petted by someone else and... nevermind. Ruggie and Leona have started simultaneously teasing him over it the very moment they caught wind of this peculiar arrangement. It doesn't help that Jack's tail is particularly sensitive and reactive, but he keeps a straight face no matter how much it embarrasses him.
Jack doesn't understand why you're so fascinated by his tail and ears because there are so many others just like him. However, he supposes it's not an entirely terrible feeling, though, to have your fingers absentmindedly rake across his tail and hair as the two of you study. It's relaxing, even, but he won't tell you that. Jack will never tell you that it gives him goosebumps all over and makes him shiver whenever you play with his tail. Or that he's begun wondering what it would be like to have your hands elsewhere, or for him to touch you in similar ways in return.
He doesn't understand why he craves your company but doesn't question it either. All he knows is that your hands are so soft and gentle and that he likes the way the corner of your eyes crinkle when you smile in satisfaction. And when you hum a soft tune as the gap between the two of you closes, he wonders if he's the only one feeling this tension.
"Again?" Jack huffs. The pretext of this being a silly favor has been long forgotten. He should probably tell you soon that you shouldn't be doing this soon, but you just look so pleased with yourself when the two of settle down in a lesser-known corner of the library. The routine persists, the cycle continues. Hours later, the both of you have gone through multiple bags of chips, two movies on his laptop, and his tail is now comfortably curled around your abdomen as you read a book and he tends to his beloved cactus.
Again? Jack silently asks himself whenever he sees your face in a crowd. Could the two of you spend hours in a comfortable silence while the unsaid implications haunt him? He's started to ask himself— were you just playing dumb at this point or just plain stupid? Or what if you had known all along and the two of you were just dancing around it?
EPEL FELMIER — you kissed him?
Epel eventually learns to use the way others perceive him to his advantage; there's strength in appearing to be weak and striking when the iron is hot. Still, he couldn't help but wish to be seen for his talents and strength instead of his beauty at the first glance. The first assumption everyone makes of him, for god's sake, is that he's a fragile little thing from a rich family, and, quite frankly, he's sick of it.
So he's secretly delighted when none of his charms worked on you and you yank him by the ear for even attempting. A few curse words and rough shoves later, both of you are on the floor, grappling and wrestling against each other. The two of you are laughing so hard and swearing so loudly that you'll probably wake up the rest of Pomefiore at this rate, but neither of you care. It's just the two of you right now grasping at each other like your life depended on it.
It's a nice change of pace to be openly exchanging insults instead of restraining himself. He enjoys the comfortable rhythm the two of you share— from all the brawls and the bantering and the hugs and to the kisses on the cheek. Yes, kisses. They started as simple thank you's after a few favors here and there, and just one of them is enough to make a mess out of Epel for weeks. Better yet, you only seem to be showering him with more and more of your attention and he relishes in it.
Ah, things are finally working out for him! He found someone he could confide in and he's sure that there's a spark between the two of you. By the end of the year, he might have someone to bring home and brag about to his relatives—
All the momentum halts when he sees you across the hall granting the rest of your friends the same levels of affection. From all the brawls to the bantering to the hugs and the kisses, none of those were ever solely his to take delight upon. It doesn't matter that he opened up to you about all his fears and insecurities because he was never special. You were just the kind of person who got along and felt comfortable with everyone around you, but Epel hates that he has no one to blame but himself. He willingly walked your warmth but it was never his to take.
It finally dawns upon him that you have never seen him in a romantic light and that was why you were so comfortable around him. In retrospect, the bond you two shared was more sibling-like than anything— and believe him when he says he's incredibly grateful that the two of you were that close —but it doesn't make it hurt any less to know that your affections never carried any romantic intentions after he had pinned for you for so long.
Even when he takes a step back, you're cruel in a roundabout way by continuing to be so kind and loving towards him. How was Epel supposed to make sense of your relationship after realizing he misunderstood you...?
And he also hates to admit this, but his self-confidence takes a huge blow from this. Epel genuinely thought he could be loved for who he was based on the time you spent together. It gnaws at him and eats him alive to finally know the truth, and sometimes he wishes he never found out at all.
SEBEK ZIGVOLT — you wrote him love letters?
So, Sebek asked (demanded) to be penpals...
It's all because Lilia told him it would be a good exercise of diplomacy, he insisted. As the young master's bodyguard, he will have to be as courteous as possible even in unpleasant company. He also rationalized, admittedly partly because of you, that forging bonds with magicless humans may be a worthwhile endeavor after all! It's all rather suspicious (and you suspect his real intentions have something to do with your friendship with Malleus), but Sebek has never been one to lie about his intentions. If anything, the popular opinion was that he's a little too honest and should learn a thing or two about holding back.
There's something very unconventional in sending handwritten letters in this day and age of modern technology, but also something very romantic and fantastical— much like the many fictional knights he had read about. It helps a lot that he's not directly confronted by the fact you are very much a magicless human who shouldn't be in NRC whenever he spills out his heart's contents unto multiple pages. It was a way for him to release his frustrations, celebrate his achievements, and talk about the dull, little things thats happened in his day-to-day life to someone who listened.
And listen you did. Turns out, when you're not subjected to his 1000 decibel shouting, Sebek is a rather earnest guy who worked hard and acknowledged others who also worked equally as hard no matter their disposition. To say the least, you understand why Lilia found it so entertaining to tease him.
It completely flies over his head that you had been flirting with him for months through these letters. Your everyday interactions with each other had been completely normal, so how was he supposed to notice?! It takes multiple rereads and many late-night discussions with the other Diasomnia dormers to decode and understand all the double entendres and hidden 'i love you's' in each and every letter. It was so needlessly difficult, but Lilia laughs in his face and pats him at the back for a job well-done.
"There's no way," he thinks to himself late at night and finds himself doubting Lilia's claims for once. But when Sebek steals a glance in your direction and you smile back in return, he's never felt weaker in his knees. You're absolutely and undeniably magic-less... but somehow you had casted a spell that made his chest tighten and shut him up. He hadn't even realized how much time he was spending with you and thinking about you when he wasn't.
Except nothing has changed in-person. You're acting like you hadn't meticulously hidden your affections for him in those letters, and he was starting to seriously doubt all of it. Yeah, were you event smart enough to pull off all that? As some magic-less human?
Actually... Sebek realizes that you are capable of outsmarting him after getting to know you much better through those letters. He's never been one to deny where credit it was due. Now, Sebek's just deeply ashamed that he failed to accurately assess your character before making judgements based on superficial traits. He knows better than anyone that you're witty, charming, brave, kind, beautiful, ambitious—
Oh no.
Oh no.
Sebek simply explodes on the spot once he realizes that he had been oblivious to his own feelings for you too. He had thoroughly examined every aspect of this conundrum except from within. Quite embarrassing from an esteemed knight of the prince of nocturnal fae to be this slow, really.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#ace trappola x reader#deuce spade x reader#jack howl x reader#epel felmier x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#ace trapola#deuce spade#jack howl#epel felmier#sebek zigvolt#i hope my favorite isn't too obvious el oh el
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snow angel // ghost of you
pairing: jj maybank x routledge!reader
summary: the zoning hearing was already in the kooks favor, but they make sure to really dig deep in the wound. jj's faced with the ugly realization that luke maybank will always be a piece of shit, and sarah's there to talk you off a ledge when john b can't.
warnings: oh no not the ultima!, crash out rage, reader pushes john b, cursing, shoupe..... being nice?
navigation -- series masterlist
ask me anything or support me via a ko-fi
--
City Hall was more packed than you had anticipated. Apparently John B’s plan had worked, which led to the group of you being surrounded by somewhat familiar faces in the small room.
“I want to remind everyone to maintain civility and decorum throughout the rest of these proceedings,” The mayor reminded as the session resumed after a small break. You sat next to Sarah with JJ on your other side, the latter squeezing your hand in his. “We’re one island. Why don’t we all try to act like it? Any disruption will warrant expulsion and potential charges.”
You glanced at JJ, trying to communicate silently that he needed to take that seriously. You guys needed all the help you could get right now and if he acted out, it would be another nail in the coffin.
“Without further ado, we’ll start with our council members, beginning with Council Member Lawrence.”
“Thank you, Mr. Mayor. Agenda 8A, ordinance 31, zoning for the property located at the end of Roger’s Point Road. Uh, Mr. Mayor, we have a resolution from the town of Pelican expressing support for the rezoning of multi-use land on the east side of the island, including the aforementioned Roger’s Point Road property.”
Confused glances were shared amongst your group, realizing you might not even get a chance to defend your home.
Pope leaned in, “Did he just say they already had a resolution?”
The question went unanswered as the council member continued, “The council is voting to recommend allocating the amount of $60,000 to begin to transition that said property…”
The sound faded from your ears as you stared ahead blankly. As much as you wished you could say you didn’t see this coming, the whole town was practically against you since day one.
“....beginning with a representative from the occupants of the Roger’s Point property, which used to be the Maybank property.”
Your hand clamped on JJ’s flannel collar instantly, holding him down in his seat before he had a chance to go up there and rage on everyone. He tried to move out of your hold before your other hand moved down on his thigh to keep him in one spot.
Looking past Sarah, you made eye contact with John B. “Go.”
Your brother pointed at himself in confusion, likely anxious to go speak before the rest of the group voiced their agreements. Cheering followed as John B stood up, making his way over you and JJ to walk up to the podium that was in the center of the room.
“Yeah, John B!”
“Alright! Let’s go!”
You let a rushed breath escape between your lips and loosened your grip on JJ’s hoodie but kept your hand on his thigh. He clapped loudly as your brother tapped on the microphone before the room quieted per the mayor’s request.
“Please state your name for the record.”
John B anxiously tapped his fingers against the wooden stand in front of him. “I am John Booker Routledge.”
More applause followed his statement before it was hushed again, the room open for your brother to speak.
“Look, I’m… I’m not a lawyer, by any standard… but honestly, this doesn’t make any sense. I mean, we bought the property at auction, and we have a fully functioning business and have had for some time. And-and now you have a motion for rezoning on our property? And if it passes, we lose our business. And we lose our home.”
“Because of some bullshit!” “The fix is in!”
“This isn’t fair!”
“They’ve got a right!”
You glanced around at the crowd who was starting to get to their feet in frustration. JJ grabbed your hand from his thigh and tightened his grip, the first sign his emotions were heating up. The mayor banged his gavel in attempts to calm the courtroom.
“Sit down, let him speak, and shut the hell up!”
Once the room quieted down, the mayor motioned for John B to continue. “Mr. Routledge you can continue.”
John B looked down at the podium and you could see him taking calculated breaths to keep his nerves calm. Your brother was never the best at public speaking, but he’d been a leader his whole life, and you had full confidence in him to represent you in any instance.
“As most of you know, myself, my sister, and Sarah, we lost our fathers last year. All we are trying to do is rebuild a home. That’s it. Sir, with all due respect, we’re not looking for a handout. We just want to keep our home, alright?”
The rowdiness erupted as frustration seeped into John B’s words. It was obvious the Kooks were on the opposing side of the room with the way they were all glowering and sitting. One man got to his feet, asking to interrupt whatever John B was getting at.
“Excuse me, excuse me. May I speak?” When the mayor gave his approval, the man continued, “There seems to be a misunderstanding. Okay? And I think I can clarify.”
JJ groaned loudly as Mr. Zeasy, the realtor who approved this whole shitshow, tried to walk up to the stand.
“Mr. Routledge, you have the floor. Are you willing to let Mr. Zeasy speak?”
Your brother leaned closer to the microphone, annoyance clear on his face. “If you can explain it a little better, Dale.” John B took a step back to let him move forward, giving him the opportunity.
“So, what the, uh, current occupants of the land don’t seem to understand is that there is an injunction to invalidate the most recent sale.”
Your attention flipped to Pope immediately. “What does that mean? Invalidate it how?”
“There was a pre-existing promissory note from the original owner that was in the process of being finalized when the land auction took place.”
You whispered toward JJ as the crowd booed in response, “Your dad?”
“The bank wasn’t legally allowed to go to auction. We have a promissory note right here from the original owner, signed before the auction, and finalized by Judge Holden.”
“That’s impossible,” You continued to argue quietly. “Your dad was gone way before we got on that ship, there’s no way he signed it.”
“That means our sale was invalid,” Pope explained as he grabbed your elbow to get your attention. “They faked the date. How can they even do that?”
You shook your head, the lump in your throat growing with each second.
“Where is the original owner? And can he validate the authenticity of this document?”
Dale spoke up again. “Yes he can. He’s right here.”
The world spun beneath you as you turned around to see Luke Maybank stand from his spot in the back of the room. He still looked like the same piece of shit when you’d last looked at him
“What the hell?” You were on your feet instantly, glaring daggers at the man who’d taken so much from someone who you adored. “He’s a wanted criminal! He should be in jail!” Your arguement fell upon deaf ears as the crowd yelled equal protests.
“Isn’t it obvious? He signs the promissory note, and in exchange he gets amnesty,” Pope huffed and fell back into the bench, his hands pulling at his hair.
“Now, hang on. Unless I’m very mistaken, when this all shakes out, you nice young people will be compensated of course. And, and… hold on! The land will be a club for all!”
Your hands pressed against your ears tightly, hoping all the noise would fade away into nothing. This was so unfair, so fundamentally wrong of this town in so many ways. The Kooks would win, every time, because everything came down to politics and money. Everything.
“After they do it to us, they’re gonna do it to all of you!” Kiara shouted as she moved from her seat up to where John B was standing. “This is theft!”
You didn’t realize JJ was missing from next to you until Sarah was grabbing your elbow and pulling you back to reality. The crowd was becoming unruly and glass shattered somewhere in the room before you caught sight of JJ’s blond hair.
Your jaw dropped as he body slammed a police officer to the ground, a broken window close by telling you your boyfriend was crashing out harder than you anticipated.
Shifting out of Sarah’s grip, you glared at Luke with a look that could kill and reached to grab JJ from the ground. “Hey, hey!” You grabbed his neck and leaned forward to kiss him quickly as people started shoving from behind. “Go! Be careful!”
A cop burst past you just as JJ took off, the two of them tumbling down the stairs of City Hall. More cop cars pulled into view with officers rushing from every angle. Sarah finally got her hold back on you to move out of the way.
“What the fuck!” You screamed as they slammed JJ on the hood of the sheriff cruiser. You’d lost sight of Cleo and Pope, and there was no way in hell you were letting Sarah continue to get pushed around with her possible pregnancy. Grabbing her hand, you tugged her arm to get outside of the room and into the sunshine as people stormed around you. Other teens took the attacking the new police vehicles, someone jumping on the cruiser JJ had just been shoved in.
“John B!” Your voice cracked with the force of your yell. Your brother was lost in the crowd, likely keeping hands off Kiara in the mass of people.
“He’s over here!” Sarah pulled your hand to where you could see John B crowding the tail end of the car as Cleo kicked out the back windshield. You didn’t have time to be shocked and reached forward to grab the hood of JJ’s jacket while your friends helped pull him out of the glass covered surface.
“Go!” Your brother shoved JJ’s chest and moved him away from you as Pope yelled to run. “Get out of here!”
You caught JJ’s gaze long enough to see how scared he was before he took off without another word.
“Shit!” There wasn’t time to follow him before John B’s arms were wrapping around your waist and tugging you out of the way of an oncoming brawl. “Come on,” John B let go of you with one arm to grab Sarah’s hand. “Let’s go, let’s go!”
Pushing your brother’s arm off, you started running in the general direction that JJ had taken off, figuring he was heading into town since it would be empty from the crowd here. Your muscles burned as you continued to push yourself further. Your name echoed behind you as you gained a lead on your friends, your mind only set on finding your boyfriend and getting the hell out of here.
—
JJ was always an athletic person, but shit, he was running for sure. Your pace slowed eventually as you approached town, chest burning for a break.
Turning the corner, you slowed at the sight of broken car windows, store doors shattered, and flames building from the electrical poles. You couldn’t see any sign of JJ, and the growing crowd wasn’t helping you narrow down where he could’ve been. Glancing around, you realized the power was out, and you prayed he at least managed to accomplish that first to take out any cameras nearby.
Shoupe was yelling into his walkie for all units, claiming the whole town would get looted any minute and he would need backup.
A dirt bike nearly clipped you in the side before you realized you were in over your head and needed to move. You cursed under your breath, moving along with the crowd to blend in before you were ahead of them all. Without anyone to stop him, JJ wouldn’t hesitate to wipe the whole town out if he could. It was a perfect misplaced aggression, and the fact that other Pogues were joining in would only fuel him.
You tried to rack your brain for where he would go next: the house was off limits, it was too obvious. Kie’s dad wouldn’t hide him at the Wreck and there was no doubt anywhere on Figure Eight had cameras.
“He went that way!” You turned at the sound of a voice, a girl you’d recognized from the bonfires pointing in the general direction of the rental estates down the street. You nodded, barely giving her a thank you before you were running again in hopes of catching up to JJ.
Evidently, he was making enough of a scene that the cop cars were rounding the corner and following your path to catch up to him. You ducked into the trees along the road, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible as you ran alongside them until you landed on the vacation real estate side of the island.
All of the Kooks with vacation homes ran their offices on the same road, and you had a good feeling you knew which one JJ would be hidden in. Before you had a chance to get ahead of the situation though, a handful of cop cars had surrounded the office, effectively cutting off your opportunity to get to JJ first.
You took a deep breath, praying he could level his head out enough to make the right decision and keep himself out of harm enough until you could get to him. You pulled your hood up on your head and started in the direction of the building.
“Stop, stop!” John B knocked you off course a second later, his hand wrapping itself around your sleeve to yank you to a stop. You panicked, knowing your brother would do anything it took to keep you safe, including letting JJ run wild.
Heaving for air, you shoved him away a little harsher than you’d intended. “Get off of me! They’re going to kill him!”
“Hey!” John B stumbled back with the force of your action, eyes widening in surprise before he steadied himself. “You’ve gotta calm down.”
You shook your head, body practically bouncing with adrenaline and glanced at the series of lights behind you. “I need to talk to him, okay? You don’t understand, he’s gonna-”
“I know!” John B took the chance to reach forward and hold your shoulders. “We’re going to get him, but you cannot lose it on us. Not right now, okay?”
Your brother read your expression like a neon sign. You were terrified, and you were right behind JJ’s crashout if he didn’t reel you in this second. John B knew you and JJ felt everything so strongly, and it was getting even deeper when you were together. The two of you were weirdly connected, like a radiating ball of chaos, as John B would call it. Whatever JJ was feeling would seep into you instantly, so it was no surprised you were as out of it as the blond boy was when he took off.
“Hey,” Sarah’s voice was much softer than your brother’s as she moved in front of you to stand next to John B. “I need you to stay with me, yeah? You said you’d help me figure it out.”
You knew what she was trying to do. Trying to lock you in one spot to protect her the way she knew you would with the knowledge you had. Sirens echoed around and you glanced away to see flickers of red and blue lights, a sinking feeling taking over your stomach.
Sarah whispered your name, her hand gentle on your cheek as she pulled you back. Your heart was racing, and she could practically feel it under her touch. Her lips mouthed please, and it was enough to break your hesitation, forcing you to nod. She took your hand in hers and looked up at John B who was staring at the two of you with confusion.
“Let’s go,” Pope pulled you all out of your moment and you started moving again at a slower pace.
The chaos from City Hall was starting to catch up again as your group jogged up to the office where Shoupe was climbing out of a cruiser. The front door was kicked in, but thankfully it seemed like JJ hadn’t done much damage compared to downtown.
“If you’re not in uniform, stay back!” Shoupe called out as Pope walked up in attempt to talk to him before he was pushed back into line by another cop. “Aright, JJ. You’ve gone too far, and we’ve got a serious situation!”
The crack of a firework had you jumping in your spot, head tucking like it would stop anything from happening. Hands trembling, you reached in your pocket to grab your phone, praying by everything JJ had his on him.
go out the back, you typed quickly, please be safe. don’t do anything stupid.
The read receipt popped up a moment after and you let out a deep breath, knowing the message would be enough to get into his head and shift his mindset.
Looking up, Shoupe was still trying to talk to you boyfriend, but you knew damn well he would be long gone by the time they put together the pieces. You shifted away from your friends, John B’s fingers just missing your shoulder as you walked forward.
“Shoupe!” You called out his name and raised your hands slightly to show that you meant no harm as deputies swarmed instantly to prevent any interruption. “Shoupe, please!”
There were a lot of things that were difficult in the law force after Peterkin had died. Trusting people? Shoupe had always struggled with that, especially when the price was right. But now? With you standing feet away from him and the knowledge that he had about your past, he hoped he could trust you. The least he could do is hear you out.
Shoupe stared at you for a moment before waving you in, both deputies standing aside to let you do so. “Can you talk to him?” He asked you, holding the megaphone to his side as you stopped next to him. Deep down he cared for JJ, even if it was hard love.
“He’s not here,” You answered honestly and crossed your arms over your chest to hold yourself. “I told him to go somewhere safe. He might’ve been here before, but he’s not here now.”
Shoupe watched you closely for any telltale sign that you were lying. “He destroyed the town, so he’s in a ton of trouble. I know you’re smart enough to know that, so in order to keep this short, do you know where he is?”
It was obvious he was trying to intimidate you, but he wouldn’t win. You shook your head. “No, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. Shoupe, you know what his dad did to him. And you know it isn’t fair what they’re doing to us. The power’s out downtown, which means cameras are out, and you have no proof JJ did anything. I think you owe us a little wiggle room on this one. Please.”
The man hesitated. Last time you tried to interfere with an arrest, you ended up with a dislocated shoulder and he willinging took you back to an abusive household. Shoupe heard rumors, saw the bruises and injuries himself when John B was arrested that day. He should’ve never taken you back. Life had been cruel to you, and he didn’t want to keep that going.
“Get out of here,” He whispered, but the tone of his voice was understanding. “You kids need to lay low, do you hear me? Or I will be finding a reason to press charges.”
You nodded, trying not to look too excited at his reaction. “Thanks, Shoupe. Really.”
He nudged his head back toward your group. “Tell your boy he’s on thin ice, yeah?”
“Yeah,” You called over your shoulder as you made your way back to your friends. “I’ll ground him and everything.”
Shoupe started dismissing the scene behind you while the group stared at you with wide eyes.
“Do I even want to know what you did?” John B asked once you stopped in front of them. Sarah was smirking at you, knowing you likely sweet talked your way out of it.
“Sold my soul,” You replied rhetorically before actually explaining, “What else would I do? I told him JJ isn’t here, because he isn’t.”
Pope tilted his head and waited for the elaboration. “But he is…?”
Your phone twisted between your fingertips as an answer. “Told him to run. Didn’t say where, just to stay safe.”
“He’ll be so safe,” Pope joked with a laugh as relief fell over the group. John B bent over and placed his hands on his knees with a huff, Kiara running her hands through her hair in disbelief.
“Rude boy,” Cleo clicked her tongue and shook her head, “Always gotta cause trouble somewhere.”
A smile started to form on your face as lightning lit up the sky, a crack of thunder shaking your form just before rain started to pour down.
John B watched you carefully, knowing you were coming down from your adrenaline rush and would crash any moment now. He turned toward Sarah, who had been looking at you too. “You okay?” He asked quietly.
She nodded, breaking out of her daze to smile at him. “Yeah, just a long night. Wanna sleep.”
He nodded in understanding and pulled the girl closer under his arm. “Then let’s go home.”
--
The group scattered relatively quickly once you arrived back at Poguelandia. JJ had sent a rushed I love you text and the charter boat was gone, which meant he made it somewhere relatively safe for the night. Kie dismissed herself to shower, Pope and Cleo quietly shutting their door without much conversation. Sarah walked in, promising to make some sort of dinner, which left you on the porch swing with John B.
Your brother didn’t say a word but lifted his arm invitingly for you to snuggle into his side. JJ had sent a rushed I love you text and the charter boat was gone, which meant he made it somewhere relatively safe for the night.
“Thanks for snapping me out of it,” You spoke quietly and tucked your feet up on the bench, pushing more of your weight against him. Rain pattered against the roof, lightning flashing across the sky every so often.
John B kissed your forehead wordlessly, his hand warm as it moved back and forth slowly against your arm. His mind was moving in so many directions. How was he supposed to take care of you and Sarah with no money and soon to be nowhere to go?
You flicked his forehead to bring him back to reality. “Earth to JB. Hello?”
“Sorry,” He mumbled, eyes blinking to refocus. “Just don’t know what we’re gonna do.”
You frowned and sat up, letting his arm fall back to his side. “John B, you don’t have to figure this out on your own. We’re going to do it together.”
“I know, I know. But we shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t even have to deal with this.” He turned to face you. “Do you ever regret going after the gold?”
The question caught you off guard. Did you?
“Do you realize the amount of things that would be different if we didn’t find that Scooter’s boat that day? You would’ve never dealt with Rafe. We would’ve never lost our home, and Dad would maybe still be alive. Pope would be in medical school by now, Kie probably running a turtle habitat rescue and living as an influencer or something. Shit, JJ and I would be pro-surfers and probably competing. Life would be so different.”
“Do you realize how different it would be too? You would’ve never been with Sarah, she would probably still be with Topper. Cleo wouldn’t be here. We have answers about Dad, now. We wouldn’t have had Poguelandia, I would’ve never gotten with JJ. Sarah wouldn’t be-” You clammed up quickly, teeth sinking into your lip at almost spilling the beans to John B.
“Sarah wouldn’t be what?” He repeated.
You shook your head. “Sarah wouldn’t be here, with you. You’d still be a lonely and miserable fuck who bothered the shit out of me.”
John B opened his mouth in feigned shock, which made you laugh loudly, the two of you falling into a fit of giggles.
“Seriously, though,” You continued once the two of you had stopped laughing. “In a way, I got you back, John B. The version of us that existed when Agatha hit is not the version of us here, today.”
He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, hands twisting between each other as he listened to you.
“I don’t realize it, because I don’t question what we’ve done,” You said softly and set your hand on his shoulder. “I don’t want to change any of it because I have you, and we have this family that we’ve never had before on this level. I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, you know that?”
John B’s laugh was teary. “That’s the nicest shit you’ve ever said to me.”
A small smile form on your lips and you quickly brushed away tears of your own. “C’mon, Bird. I know I give you a really hard time. But you’re my favorite brother.”
“I’m your only brother.”
You shoved his shoulder with a smile before curling back into his side with his arm around you. John B leaned his head against yours as the two of you watched the water move slowly against the dock. Cicadas buzzed around and the rain continued to pour overhead. The sounds so familiar, so comforting you almost forgot how insane the night had been.
“I love you, you know?” You whispered, eyes growing heavy with the events of the day.
“Yeah. I know.”
--
a/n: SIBLING! BONDING!!!!! see no pope arrest, and jj technically didn't catch major charges (i have no sense of criminal history, just nod in agreement and move on)
listen to snow angel by renee rapp!!!!
navigation -- series masterlist
ask me anything or support me via a ko-fi
#outer banks x reader#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#outer banks#goy series#outer banks imagine#jj maybank imagine
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Hi! Just looking for your opinion on something:
I recently got a chair with a velvety texture and one of my cats is OBSESSED with it. He sits on it and digs and digs at it, and already has scratched furrows into the velvet of the seat cushion. I've never had an issue with either of my cats scratching at furniture before, not to this degree anyway, and I'm thinking of getting him claw caps for a bit until he (hopefully) chills out about the chair, what do you think? Any hot tips?
ooof, i feel your pain! A little, anyway. I've inherited a similar velvety chair from my grandparents, so I had to spend some time teaching my cats not to scratch at it. Thankfully, both Yardstick and Saia have ignored it, but my previous cats really liked it.
ok, so it's really hard to teach a cat NOT to do something. Like, Doing the Thing is a rewarding action and, frankly, if you try to stop them, they just learn to do it when you're NOT watching. What you do is provide them with something else that's MORE rewarding. In my case, that was as simple as providing scratching posts and scratchpads that were better feeling than the velvet chair.
Until they figured that out, I covered up my nice chair with fabric that I didn't much care about. Since they couldn't access the NICE fabric anymore, they just kind of lost interest in it. In a few weeks when I removed the ugly fabric, they just... never really seemed to understand the velvet was back again. I can't really explain that one, tbh.
If you do want to go the claw cap route, make sure the claw caps are properly sized. They don't cover the WHOLE claw. They only cover the very tips. When they cover the whole claw, the end irritates the flesh in the nail bed and can cause minor infections and irritation. Properly sized nail caps should not inhibit a cat's ability to sheath their claws at all.
You can see that the end of the claw cap doesn't even make contact with the nail bed. (picture taken from the National Cat Groomers Institute here)
before putting the cap on, you also have to trim the cat's nails anyway. So you might find that just trimming their nails is sufficient.
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It’s been like. Five whole minutes since I’ve turned fun sex things into hurt/comfort. So. :)
human au, when Dream and Hob get together Hob thinks Dream has a run-of-the-mill oral fixation. He always seems to want to suck Hob’s cock, warm his cock In his mouth for ages, when they have sex he insists he wears some kind of gag.
The truth is though… it’s not that Dream doesn’t like those things, but that’s not why he does it. He’s just very insecure about any noise that could come out of his mouth.
People always tell him how awkward he is and that he can barely hold a normal conversation (he has no idea how he landed people-person, charismatic Hob) so he’s certain he’d fail at dirty talk. And his laugh is so ugly, surely any moans or noises he makes during sex would be equally awful. And of course, his worst nightmare is getting caught up in the moment and letting an “I love you” slip FAR too early in the relationship than is acceptable. There is simply no way anything good could come from his mouth (ever, but especially during sex) so he deals with it by keeping his mouth occupied.
I can’t decide how Hob figures it out- if he puts all the pieces together during sex or foreplay, or if it somehow comes out during a more domestic moment. Either way, he insists on ravishing Dream with his mouth free and uncovered so he can hear every lovely sound he makes (and prove that he loves his silly boyfriend no matter what).
-🦇
We love the hurt/comfort smut here!!!! Hell yeah!!!!
I have a certain idea about how Hob finds out about Dream’s whole complicated relationship with his own vocality. It all comes out when Dream, quite suddenly loses his voice altogether. He gets a little bout of laryngitis during flu season, and while he's not super sick, he also can't speak. He's reduced to texting and writing little notes while Hob fusses over him and makes him plenty of nice cups of tea.
During his illness, Dream is visited by his sibling Desire. Hob has never met them before, but honestly he's more focused on Dream than anything else. He has a vague notion that the two siblings don't exactly get on, however, and this becomes apparent when Desire makes a series of quips about what a relief it is to have Dream silenced. If only he would be quiet all the time! He's so much more bearable when he's not making any noise.
Hob clocks Dream’s face during this series of bad jokes and all he sees is... resignation. He realises that Dream believes Desire's cruel words. Everything starts to make sense.
After the laryngitis passes and bedroom activities are back on the menu, Hob cautiously broaches the fact that he really doesn't want Dream to be gagged this time. He doesn't want him to muffle his face in the pillow, either. He'd quite like to have some very boring and tender missionary sex, and he'd like to hear Dream’s voice and his noises the whole time.
Unfortunately for Dream he's in love, and he can't deny Hob anything, let alone something so sweet and pure. He's sure that Hob will be disgusted by his noises, but he agrees anyway. Maybe Hob will forgive him for being so loud, if he behaves himself well in other ways...
In reality Hob is the one making the most noise because he absolutely sobs his way through the sex. Hearing his sweet Dream's pleasure for the first time is so overwhelming and almost spiritual, he can't help but cry. There's a long way to go, but Hob is determined: he's going to make sure that Dream is never silenced again. Hob wants to hear everything that comes from his beloved's mouth - especially if its an "I love you!"
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sorry to bother you about the "male lesbian" post that said people assume they're always cis... I just want to raise you how many even subconsciously see trans mascs as "escaping" being a woman. how they now have power and privilege, and being a woman was so terrible
they hear "i'm a trans man but consider my attraction to women sapphic" and say "but your entire thing was to not be a woman! you can't do this!"
i've never liked the sentiment that all trans men are "escaping" womanhood. it's so vile. of course some trans men never want anything to do with womanhood and they are absolutely allowed to. but most trans men aren't necessarily transitioning to "escape' womanhood, they're doing it to become a man. those are independent situations from one another. some trans men do feel tortured as women and desperately need to shed that label. some do not
and it does really suck when people just assume trans men instantly gain power and privilege in society just because they came out. most trans men never receive any kinds of social benefits from being men- they are not treated better by medical professionals, they do not receive better wages, they do not receive more hours or benefits at work, they often are fired before they're able to hold any kind of position of power in a company... not to mention how people treat pregnant trans men. even if trans men pass as cis theres always something waiting around the corner to screw them over. a medical professional or cop seeing an F marker on a license could be life or death in a lot of cases. a lot of doctors just don't fucking care about trans men with F markers and will become actively hostile when they see that, or a "feminine" name.
very, very few trans men benefit from patriarchy. it's not an instant thing you magically gain the second you come out or realize you're a man.
and yes it's so ugly to have people respond to a sapphic or lesbian trans man with "i thought you didn't want to be a woman!" or like you said, "escaping" womanhood. people just sort of instantly pull that card instead of taking the time to ask that person what they meant. instead they just make a bunch of assumptions. that's the problem here in general is that people literally make an assumption about what male lesbian means and then refuse to ask the person what they meant by it. it's rude dumbass behavior
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Hello. In front of you is the new dragon breed. You are ready to write a post about how you feel the breed is to inelegant, to be the Light ancient. You must word this post in a way that does not equate fatness to inelegance, or one billion explosions upon you. Your time starts now.
Already starting to see people claim that the new ancient can't be elegant or calling them ugly due to being fat and my god I hope they delete every single skinny slender dragon off the website
Crazy seeing everyone assigning beauty standards to dragons. You guys are trying to give my dragons body dysmorphia !!!!!!
It's so meta that the Knowledge is Power Flight ancient is shining a light on all the fatphobes. Everlux really getting these people to say with their outside voice what they think about fat and specifically non-proportional people.
people calling the new breed ugly bc they "look gross" and "like a blob" certainly is... a take. what fun implications those are!
not checking the forums abt the new breed anymore cuz if i see one more motherfucker go "i wanted a pretty elegant beautiful gorgeous nice dragon but instead we got a FAT one :(" im gonna start biting people.
the number of people saying the everlux look DISEASED is so sad and hurtful. we get like the third "fat" dragon out of over 2 dozen breeds and you have so much repulsion and hatred toward fat bodies that you think it looks sick.... i guess i should learn to stay out of the forums but this is so depressing to me
The obsession for every breed to look exactly like their flight theme is very weird. And the fact people are upset the everluxes aren't "elegant" smells like fatphobia. I already blocked three people calling them diseased and non-elegant or whining they aren't what they expected out of a light ancient.
ah yes, the fatphobia has begun
"why aren't they thin pretty angels straight out of my idea of christianity :(" because they're awesome fat bugs. sucks to suck
it's not fatfobia it's just very sincere health concerns for fictional pixel dragons
hate on the new light ancient without being a fatphobic bastard challenge level: impossible
"Anyone else disappointed in the Everlux?" Control F the word "fat" for a bad time
all these people like "waaah everluxes cant be elegant waaah" like. man youre just saying that because theyre fat right. people want to say they don't like that the breed is fat but they don't want to SAY it, its so cowardly
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It's also such an uncharitable reading of El. Can you really imagine that girl calling anyone, let alone WILL, an "ugly loser"? Can you really imagine her intentionally leaving someone to die in the Upside Down?
I can't. As flawed as she is capable of being (considering she's human and also an incredibly traumatised CHILD), her arc in every season has almost always led her back to love and kindness.
Why the fuck would the person in the screenshot want to undo all of that? Just because they want to see Will suffer??? Suddenly it doesn't seem like it's about El standing up for herself at all.
El would call the person in the screenshot a mouth breather for talking all that shit about her brother, I reckon.
this is so funny to me like there are so many wrong takes in a single post first of all y'all act like you've never been 13 and called someone stupid you hold this against will so bad it's ridiculous. second of all will knows mike since they were FIVE YEARS OLD. THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS. what do you mean "he fell in love with her boyfriend" will probably fell in love with mike way before eleven was even in the picture ��😭😭😭 and finally why would will include el in his d&d painting? it's HIS gift for mike. HIS group of friends. if el's so bothered then she should've made mike a gift herself. but even then mike wouldn't love it as much as he loved the painting, right? 😅
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#sometimes i wish i could see my own art from someone else's eye#like I can't never be objective about it#its either#work so long on it and when i finally finish it i hate it and see only flaws and then i never post it#or when i finally finish it i still can see the flaws but I'm like it's not that bad!!#like of course the are more skilled artist out there but i did the best that i could with my abilities and I don't hate it!!#then i post it and it doesn't even get enough notes to enter the double digits#and then i wrack my brain trying to understand why#thinking was it bad? i know I'm not at the artistic level that I'd like to be but i didn't think it was THAT bad#just . the feeling of being somewhat satisfied with my drawing but posting it and not even reaching the low bar you set out for your self#is it really ugly and I just can't see it?#i thought i was slowly improving so what's wrong with it??#those kind of thought#idk..#the frustration of creating#ig#art#vent
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HELLO PETRIGROF NATION 🤩🤩 Fionna and Cake finale destroyed me and made me very sad so I couldn't draw anything except silly doodles to cope pls enjoy
#adventure time#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#fionna and cake#fionna and cake fanart#adventure time fanart#the quote from the second doodle is from a Steven universe fanart I saw back when they revealed rose quartz was actually pink diamond shsjd#Most of these are from ms paint :)#Skipsart#Will never get over this ending actually#Like three of my classmates who have never even heard of adventure time love these two now just because I can't shut up about them#ME WHEN TRAGIC LOVERS 😢😢😢 UAUAUA <- (sounds of despair)#Really wanted to see a human Golbetty design :(#Also low-key wished they pulled a La La Land and showed us the life they could've had/an alternate dimension where they're happy together#I get that they wanted us to feel like the characters and stuff but still HHHHH#Anywayz it took me two months to get over this#I couldn't listen to Everything in You without ugly crying LMBOOO#I'm a sensitive guy okay 😔 I'm fine now so we're good‼️💪
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new enstars characters (nice + 4piece) as tbh/autism creatures ◕_◕ also i color picked them and recolored some pride flags because i can
fuyume -> bigender
ibuki -> nonbinary
esu -> transmasc
raika -> aroace
kanna -> agender
#enstars#i spent way too much time and energy on this#nice arneb thunder#loser name for a loser man#classic rant in the tags let's go#i really hope one of 4piece is genderqueer#favorite character is kanna so far#mr nice guy really went to a middle school chess tournament saw kanna and asked if he wanted to be an idol#esu is just like me fr#gives me so much transmasc energy yk#the big ugly jacket#kind of looks like the sports survivors card#...i'm gonna make the esu tbh and the esu transmasc flag into a pinback button#im ngl i thought 4piece was going to be like a 4chan unit#ensemble stars#long post#enstars fanart#hand crafted sillies#wait no i had another tag#hand-crafted funnies#i think?#hanamura fuyume#taki ibuki#sagiri esu#hojo raika#natsu kanna#4piece#4piece enstars#ensemble stars fanart#i can't see if i tagged that already or not oh well
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it's so funny seeing the negative fan reactions to Jax being even more of an asshole than he was in episode 1. like first of all, how can you not enjoy his dickhead antics and growing frustrations at the things that aren't allowing him to be a dickhead 100% of the time. i think it's really entertaining to watch him be a complete jackass to everything and everyone! and second of all, i feel like this is an effect of twitter fandom kiddies always praising a character who's a perfect angel or a "bad boy but he's bad in a good way..." character and deeming characters "immoral" as soon as they do something bad. as soon as that character they attached themselves to isn't what they thought they were, they get super mad about it, even though Jax hasn't really changed at all since episode 1. it's like seeing Jax have more opportunities to be an utterly selfish and destructive asshole put them off from the character entirely because "ohh he's mean now". it's so weird. like god forbid a character has flaws or does objectively horrible things that makes them more entertaining /sarc.
it's kinda like the whole discourse surrounding Pomni "abandoning" Ragatha in the pilot. a lot of people were deeming Pomni to be a terrible character because she did something that could be perceived as "morally incorrect" when 1. she was scared and confused out of her mind and practically in survival mode the entire time she was there, 2. she literally just met Ragatha a while ago and wasn't in the right place to properly prioritise anything but her own survival, and 3. characters are allowed to do """immoral""" things because it's interesting, it makes them more complex and it drives the plot. oh yeah, and they're not real!!! they can't hurt anyone!!! it's so confusing how people will see a character with flaws and then get so enraged about how immoral they are, while completely missing the point as to why a character has flaws in the first place.
i just find it funny how people saw Jax in the first episode, visualised a bad boy version of him in their heads and then got super mad when he was even meaner deliberately in the second one and isn't exactly what they wanted him to be. like you guys just pulled a full 180 and went from loving him to despising him in and instant. characters will have something deserving of a character arc and twitter fandom kiddies will become livid about it.
by the way, i thought Jax being even more of an asshole shined a brighter light on his troubled nature. like,,, to me it seems Jax's asshole-ish attitude is kind of a mask for deeper insecurities, especially when you see his face soften during Kaufmo's funeral, before quickly replacing it with anger and walking away. i think he's grappling with some heavy shit and trying to hide it behind a troublemaker attitude and constantly causing chaos and destruction to distract himself. i think that's why he got so angry and frustrated during the second episode, because he couldn't always have his way. he's definitely hiding something. whether it has something to do with Kaufmo, his situation or both, i wanna see what happens and what's going on with him.
personally, i want Jax to get worse, because it would be a very interesting look at how he deals with the circus compared to everyone else. i want him to get so aggressive and asshole-ish that he does something he deeply regrets (in reference to what a tweet from Gooseworx teases). to me, the biggest allure of TADC is the way the characters react to what's going on around them. each character has such a different way of coping with everything and i think Jax's way of coping, desiring chaos and death and destruction, would be an interesting look into who he is as a character. i want his harmful coping skills to drive him to a breaking point because hell yeah, character development!!! i want to see what makes the asshole into something closer to not really being as much of an asshole as he started out as.
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc ep 2#tadc jax#honestly you guys will see a character having ugly flaws you can't romanticise and then throw a big tantrum about it /nbh#i hope jax becoming popular will make more room for more asshole characters in media because they're usually the most-#-complex ones to think about#jax kinda reminds me of scout from tf2 surprisingly. both are major dickheads and do objectively bad stuff to people but-#-it's clear they do have a soft side and a reason for why they're like that. and they're also generally just really entertaining :)#anyway yeah i think people hating on jax is stupid and silly and ridiculous. like boohoo how dare the purple bnuuy be mean waaah#fandom discourse#(also ps. i wasn't a jax simp before but watching him be a huge dickhead might change that pretty soon lmaooo)
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the worst crime of the twenty-first century is that betty suarez and daniel meade did not kiss on screen
#ugly betty#ughhhh i can't believe i'm done#they're so!!!!!#if anything deserves just a teeny tiny mini reboot it's this show#also wow i really thought we would see alexis again but she was just mentioned#yet another thing i misremembered i guess
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My Neekeys over the last two-odd years. I was curious to see the changes 🤔
#forgive the low quality dfghfds it was just an experiment#now to do the DRAW ANYONE ELSE challenge#siggy draws#he is my blorbo. my muse. i guess#don't get me wrong. i am CRINGING and SWEATING at just the thought of uploading this.#have i been drawing almost every day my entire life? yes. does my style still change all the time? yes!#and i'm mostly self-taught so i struuuuggle a lot. i'll finally admit that reference pictures help immensely. no shit lol.#i learned a lot in the last 2 years!!! there are some really ugly ones i didn't show but i kept the cringe old ones sdfghfds help.#i mean they're still here on tumblr so i can't exactly hide them#you can kind of see when i actually started to use reference pictures. and when i got more used to using a tablet#idk digital art is so hard. it's a whole other world. but i'm in it now and haven't drawn traditionally in forever#i can also literally see how i used to CRUSH my nibs while drawing. all those really thin lines?? i pressed too hard lol#i've actually kept all my nibs since i started drawing digitally and....... it's too many fghfds#that one slightly more realistic nicky in the bottom right of the first collage lmaooo. i should finish him... maybe... it's haaard.#the top right on the first collage and bottom right on the second one are good comparisons ;_; they're both pirate!nico gifts for lily!!#i'm feeling sentimental now omg
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it's the way i just want people to love and be invested in peter after all the hard work i've put in him tbh.
#⋆ ⋮ 𝘁𝗵���� 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲. ❜ ( out. )#[ i really hope this doesn't come across ugly because i definitely don't mean it in the sense that#'my mutuals owe me more!!!!' or anything like that. i just.#i feel so. second-rate#and like literally everybody just sees peter as like. this thing they'll answer when they have nothing else to do#and it just makes me feel like i've failed as a writer#it's got nothing to do with popularity or 'expecting more' from my mutuals i just.#it feels like my writing is shit? or my ideas or. something.#i literally just want him to be loved like everybody else's muses seem to be#i'm so Tired of being the one who always cares the most.#just once i wanna have the muse that is fawned over.#but like. i just can't seem to.#like i. is it the faceclaim? is it my magic system? is it the quality of my prose?#i just. i feel like fucking tearing everything down and just going away#because it feels as if it wouldn't. impact anybody at all lmao.#[ edit: i'm just. i'm gonna throw this in the save tag so that i can look back at this stuff when i have similar episodes#bc man. such kindness. <3 ]#save *
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#my art#dbz#fanart#goku#hes crying because vegeta didnt give him a kissy#to be real though I feel like in my head he doesn't cry very often and when he does he doesn't really even know he's doing it until#he can't see through the tears#like getting so frustrated or angry or upset that it just happens#thinking of him catching himself doing it and then kind of breaking down and ugly sobbing#hes not ugly but you know what i mean#just letting it out#either that or laughing it off and being like 'oops! Hahaha'
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Thinking about that time when a popular artist was a prick to me personally (claimed that I "baited" them for a conflict when all I did was pointing out something in lore contradicting their claim, without any rudeness or condescension, and basically told me to go hang out with other autists instead of bothering them) but the reason I blocked them was not that, it was the fact that they've admitted on not even caring about the source material and just using scraps from it to do their own thing. Priorities hfngkfngj
#fandomry rambles#I can excuse asserting ego at my expense and acting as though my knowledge of lore is an offence but-#-I draw the line at taking advantage of an IP to get attention easier instead of 'just making an OC'#there is a line between creative liberties and not caring about source material!!! they are not the same thing!#and FANdoms are places for FANs of something! not for some pricks to advertise themselves!#again I just pointed out something that seemed like honestly forgetting or not knowing#and I instantly commented on how alternative they suggested wasn't bad and how it could still work!#but because they have super frail ego they perceived it as a personal attack apparently#and since Anna unblocked me right after to stalk me it just feels like they mocked me within their group later#again I wonder why popular artists with high skill but very little care for canon are SO insecure?#everyone admires them everyone wants to be their friend everyone draws fanart of their designs and ships#and yet slight event out of the line makes them turn into that one Wojack with a crying face behind smug mask#like how do you shovel notes and have more attention than what you can give back and STILL are this-#-insecure? really popularity can't heal you#if you fellow nobody artists feel as though your art being noticed would heal you: no it would not#honestly as for care for canon they already gave signal by boasting about prettyfying micolash because-#-they preferred 'aesthetic'#it is just something I've neglected because I was looking at redesigning characters differently#but seeing awful bimbo marikas for two years taught me better ngl#really I am dying to see them try to pull this one out with a female character#no really. try to pull the 'she looks ugly but I want me aesthetic so I polished her'.#hate double standards regarding drawing the character depending on their gender#but yeah in case you could not tell touching Bloodborne with ten yards stick just triggered a bad memory#I just.... I still love that game story and characters. I can feel it looking at these posts.#I really am the 'just make an OC' person#they should become friends with Eugene (champion of not caring for the source material) if not already
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