#is it just me. does anyone else feel this pull.

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Cold Jealousy

I am back once again with more Silco brain rot. Feeding all of you who need the content as well as myself.

Summary: Who knew jealousy was all it took for to have your first kiss with Silco?

He hates the coiling in his stomach that arises whenever you laugh at something a patron says. It sickens him, seeing you lean in so close to another man, your lips moving as you say something and then smile, causing the table to burst into laughter. He knows you're simply close friends with them, after all they are your childhood friends, people who grew up with you, so of course you'd act overly familiar with them but he can't stop his chest from tightening, his fingers twitching.

The nib of his pen pierces through the page he was writing on and he scowls angrily at the mess, trying to drown out your voice but it's intoxicating, a melody that snatches his attention away from the numbers in his notebook. Your laughter is like a drug, leaving him wanting more every time he hears it, and the thought that it's someone else eliciting it drives him insane.

"You alright there?" Vander slides him a glass of scotch, worry clear gentle grey eyes.

"I'm fine," Silco spits back, a little harsher than intended. Of course Vander would notice something was off, Vander knew him way too well. He turns back to his notebook, trying to suppress the whispers that begin to cloud his mind and stares at the numbers, willing them into his brain.

"You know they only have eyes for you right? They don't look at anyone the same way they look at you." Vander glances over at the table where you're currently playing a game of cards, and from the looks of it, losing.

"I know," Silco scowls, stabbing the page with his pen. Vander simply huffs and turns to attend to the customer who just pulled up at the counter. Silco rolls his eyes and closes the notebook, he's done for the night. There's no way he can continue concentrating when you laugh like that, when butterflies flutter in his chest and turn to stone as he remembers you're not laughing at something he said or did.

"I'm going to get some air," he grunts, slipping out the back door.

Out of habit, he makes his way to the rooftop, sitting at his usual spot and looks out at the sprawling underground city beneath. Neon lights flash from various stores like stars, illuminating figures as people walk past but the silhouettes disappear just as quickly, fading back into obscurity. It's the same pattern every night, he's memorised some of the figures already, knows the habits of certain individuals, and has noted the important ones. He spots the lady with twin brown hair buns who frequents the brothel opposite, the two enforcers who always sneak into the nearby drug store during their nightly patrol and nearly misses the sound of your footsteps.

"Hey." You take your seat next to him.

"Y/N." He barely spares you a glance before looking back at the city below. The night wind whistles through the air, sending shivers through his body and he curls up, hugging his knees to his chest. Dammit, he forgot his coat. The air here is chillier at this time of the year, being so far away from the hustle and bustle of the city's nightlife, but it brings a sense of peace that he treasures, especially when it's with you. Tonight, it just feels cold, probably from his lack of a coat, but there's a numbness he can't explain.

The clink of glass snaps him out of his thoughts and he glances up to see you produce a bottle of wine as well as two glasses.

"Sorry, I couldn't swipe a bottle of scotch so I grabbed the next best thing before anyone could catch me," you smile at him and pop the bottle open. The red liquid sloshes in the glass as you fill it up and hand it to him, "peace offering?"

He wrinkles his nose but takes the glass anyways, mumbling a thank you before letting the liquid slide down his throat. It doesn't have the same burn as scotch does, but there's still a pool of warmth that sits in his belly, although it does little to alleviate the chill he feels.

You smile and pour a glass for yourself, taking a sip, following the direction of his eyes. Silco swirls the red liquid around in his glass, biting his lip. The silence is awkward, but he won't be the first to break it, his pride won't let him. Fortunately, you shift closer to him and shrug your jacket off, wrapping it around his shoulders.

"Don't catch a cold on me."

He snorts in response, tugging your jacket tighter around himself. It smells nice, smells like you with a hint of his cigar's smoke. He can pick out the scent of wine, the smell of the soap you use to wash the jacket, the remnants of Piltover's smell from your afternoon stint and a small smile makes its way onto his face as he remembers the way you threw yourself at him, clutching a bag of freshly baked bread, laughing as you yelled at him to run for his life. The pool of warmth resting in his belly spreads to the rest of his body, sending tingles up his spine as he buries his face into the jacket's fabric. The fabric is worn but still maintains a certain level of softness, and it feels as nice as it smells.

He watches as you finish your glass and exchange it for the bottle, remembering his own unfinished glass and takes another sip. Scotch was still the best drink, a shame you didn't manage to filch a bottle of it. You down half the bottle in one go, sighing in satisfaction and gesture at his glass.

"You don't have to force yourself to finish it, you know?"

He scowls, and finishes the rest of his wine, all the while staring right at you. "As if I'll let you have any of mine."

You laugh, and he finds that your laughter sounds better when it's because of something he said than when it's because of something someone else said, besides, there's the added bonus of giddiness that fills him. He smiles, for the first time tonight and sets the glass down next to yours. The awkwardness has been broken, much to his relief and he feels as though he can breathe easier.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" You gesture towards the myriad of lights. "Piltover's lights can't compare to this."

"That's because most of their lights are the same colour," he snorts, "but yes…it is beautiful."

You beam, taking another swig from the bottle and set the bottle down, leaning back on your hands. The night breeze ruffles through your hair, playing with its strands and Silco watches as a couple of strands fall between your eyes, causing you to huff and puff at it until it falls off your face. The next gust of wind is stronger and you shiver, shifting closer to him. He shakes his head and throws the left half of your jacket over your shoulders so it covers the both of you.

"Don't you catch a cold on me either."

"Thank you for sharing my jacket." You roll your eyes, nudging his shoulder with your own. He nudges you back, the back and forth going on for a while until the jacket slips off your shoulder and he leans over to pull it back on. Electricity crackles from where his skin brushes against yours and he feels his heart leap into his throat when he looks up at you, realising how close the two of you are.

Sure, the both of you know how the other feels, knows the unspoken truth but continue to dance around each other, fearful of what acknowledging the feeling would bring, but tonight just feels right. He feels your hand intertwine with his and he leans in, throat bobbing as he swallows hard. You lean in as well and your lips meet for the first time.

The feeling is addicting, Silco quickly learns. The way your lips lock with his perfectly, the way you lean in as his fingers run through your hair, the way your free arm wraps around his waist, pulling him closer, all of this makes him wish this moment will never end. Unfortunately, the both of you need to breathe and so he reluctantly parts from you, pressing his forehead against yours. It feels natural, to feel your warmth, to hold you underneath your jacket, and from the way you're looking at him with such adoration in your eyes, you feel the same way.

It doesn't need to be said, nothing needs to be said, the only thing he needs to do is close the gap once more and taste the wine on your lips, savouring the sweetness of it all. This is the one time he will admit that wine tastes good, but he still prefers scotch.

Your hand gently cups his cheek and he finds himself leaning into the touch. Your thumb runs over his skin, brushing along his cheekbone and he sighs, surrendering to your warmth. A small smile graces your lips and he can't help but smile back, although his smile is rather lazy.

"We should head back before Vander has to come and haul us away," you murmur and Silco reluctantly extracts himself from your touch.

"And before he closes the bar up so that we don't have to wash the glasses." He picks said glasses up, nudging the empty bottle towards you. "You are still going to throw the bottle away, I'm not touching that."

"Why? You were so eager to touch my saliva just moments ago," you tease, mirth decorating your features.

"I'm not about to deny you your responsibilities." He ducks out of the way as you try to shove the empty bottle into his arms, quickly making his way back into the bar before you can succeed in making your problem his. He hears your annoyed shouts behind him and laughs, sliding into the bar's counter.

Vander raises an eyebrow as Silco places the glasses in the sink and darts off, then shakes his head as you come barreling in, demanding that Silco help you as payment for the wine he drank. He grabs the both of you by your collars and drops you both at the sink. "I believe washing everything in the sink will suffice as payment for the bottle of wine."

You groan when you see the amount of empty cups in the sink and Silco laughs, turning on the water tap. At least you're trapped in this with him, the washing should go by faster.

As the both of you hunch over the sink, you give him a little nudge with your elbow. "Next time, if you're jealous, just step in. I'll leave with you, I promise."

"Jealous?" He splutters. "I wasn't jealous!"

"Sure you weren't, Mr 'angrily stabs an innocent piece of paper with his pen'. Keep trying."

He huffs, turning his attention back to the glass he's currently wiping dry. "I wasn't jealous."

"Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that. I doubt that changes facts though."

"Nobody said that was a fact."

You lightly punch him in the shoulder with your damp fist and he mock glares at you, smacking your arm with the drying cloth but can't stop the smile that's forming on his face.

"Don't ever doubt yourself," you say softly. "You mean everything to me."

And you mean everything to me too.

[youraverageaemondsimp]

Metanoia ;

Aemond targaryen x Transmigrated!Strong!Reader

>> Chapter V : The Epiphany.

Summary: Aemond's been taking care of you since you fainted, at last you finally wake up.

WARNINGS: mdni, smut, unprotected p in v sex, canon typical incest, nothing too crazy, mentions of purity culture and customs, hymen breaking (reader's transmigrated body, this isn't specified for the body outside of the world), blood mentions, Aemond becomes a softie ig (cherish him y'all), + not proofread, please let me know if I forget anything else!

A/N: it's back!!! divider credits @cafekitsune

<- prev // masterlist // next ->

You blink open your eyes staring at the openview outside of the window, the sky beginning to darken.

It seems you've passed out once again. It's probably been a few hours. This body is extremely weak, you needed to do something about it.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't hear the door open so you jump slightly when it slammed shut. Looking up, you see Aemond whose eye widened as he rushed over to you, dropping a rag of cloth and the bucket in his hand, causing the water in it to pour out. “How are you feeling?” He questions, grabbing your hand, checking your temperature and pulse.

“I am alright, how long have I been asleep?” You ask him.

“A week.”

That reply made your heart stop.

A week?

That long?

“Are you serious?” You ask and he nods, “Yes, we were all concerned and I thought—” He cups your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I thought you went into a long slumber again, but I thank the heavens you did not.”

Perhaps the last encounter with Aemond really pushed the limits.

“Did.. anything happen while I was asleep?” You ask once again, wanting to know what happened during your absence of consciousness. Aemond sighs. “Your mother and siblings have all returned to Dragonstone as there was an urgent matter at hand, they were unable to take you with them.”

“I see.” You furrow your brows, wondering why Viserys hasn't died yet. It has been a week, was his death gonna occur at any moment now? There was a deep feeling in your gut that something would happen soon.

Aemond sits on the bed, before pulling you into his embrace. “I apologise.” He mutters into your ear. “What for?” You ask confused, hugging him back. “It was because of me that you had fainted.” You could feel his breath hitting against the back of your neck as he spoke.

You pull away from the embrace, giving him a smile. “I am just weak.” You reply, in an attempt to tell him that it was not his fault. He smiles at you. Your eyes fall to the bucket on the ground before you look at him. “Have you been taking care of me?” You question and he nods, which makes you feel embarrassed.

“Why bother? The maids could've done it.” You shrug but he shakes his head. “I do not want anyone I do not trust near you when you are vulnerable.” He replies.

You just simply nod at his reply, feeling the silence fall between you two. The air turns cold causing shivers to travel up your spine. Aemond continues to stare at you, taking in your features.

Since your apology, it seems the environment and the atmosphere around you and Aemond has changed, you could feel it. The way his face blanketed on a worried expression, the longing in his eyes, you could see it. Something has definitely changed in him. And you did not know if it was for the better or worse.

He leans closer and you look into his eye, your heart accelerating as you anticipate him to lean. He does exactly that, he leans in, capturing your lips with his moving them in a slow manner, contrary to the first time you both shared a kiss.

Aemond seemed to have significantly warmed up to you now, it was one thing that you had fixed after coming into this world.

His hand travels to the back of your head as he pushes you further into the kiss, wanting to get closer to you; to seek your warmth. You couldn't help but melt into his hold, reciprocating the kiss as your hand reaches up to rest on the bend of his elbow.

He pulls away, panting heavily as he takes you in, the sight of his saliva glistening on your lips, the light of the candles around you bouncing off of the shine. He couldn't help but crave you more.

But he knew, he had to stop himself before he lost control, he shouldn't be taking your maidenhead without getting married, cause it is a part of your dignity. He respected you enough to consider this fact.

Yet, you were so irresistible, he felt like a feral animal, trying to lock his own desires in a cage. You do not know the effect you have on him. You couldn't help but notice that the environment had indeed turned a little tense and you knew exactly what he was thinking, his eye failing to hide his desire and craving for you.

And so, you took the initiative, not liking the way he was restraining himself from you. Had this been the Aemond from a week ago, he would've taken your maidenhood without mercy as a way to teach you a lesson, because he was a cruel man. But now that man is no more, replaced or rather, reformed into his younger self who loved you a lot.

You pushed him onto the bed, straddling him. His hair was sprawled out behind him like a halo, making him look like an angel that has descended from the heavens above.

He was taken aback by your bold move. His hands grabbed onto your hips for leverage as he felt you straddle him, your thighs on both sides of his legs as you sat on top of his crotch.

He felt embarrassed, feeling you shift on top of his crotch, his breeches meekly trying to conceal his hardening shaft like a lone leaf holding onto its branch against the strong wind.

It was futile, because you feel the outline of his cock quite clearly.

Your hands moved on their own accord, your body taking the lead like it always did. Perhaps the owner of this body is still inside somewhere, yet you could feel no one else's consciousness in your brain except yours. Maybe you are the—

The sound of clothes ripping cut you off from your thoughts and you realised that Aemond has ripped your nightgown by pulling it off your shoulder before he grabbed it with both his hands and tore it down the middle, exposing your breasts.

He grabbed onto them, his movements becoming bolder each second, as if he's slowly releasing the beast yet still trying to keep it tamed. His thumbs caressed your nipples, pressing against the hard nubs before he sat up, taking one of your breasts into his mouth.

He breathed out in satisfaction, suckling onto your areolas, his tongue swirling around the nub and flicking against it continuously before he'd suck on it, repeating this in a loop.

You felt yourself getting wet down there, so you rub yourself against him, trying to ease the ache in between your legs, but he holds you down, grunting before he lets go of your breasts with a pop.

He shakes his head lightly, “Are you sure about this?” He asks, and you nod desperately, your mind filled with the thoughts of just wanting his cock inside you, pushing out any rationality left in you.

“Please— Aemond.. I want you..” Those words leave your mouth voluntarily as you grab his shoulders tightly, indicating that you really mean it. You cup his cheek before catching his lips in a searing hot kiss.

Those words that left your mouth set the forest inside his heart ablaze, the fire of desire engulfing him in its warmth. The feral beast broke free and took control immediately.

He flipped you over, pushing you onto the bed, getting on top of you. He begins kissing your neck, sucking your sweet spot, leaving his marks, his teeth biting on your flesh as a way to claim you as his own.

He pulls away, panting heavily, immediately scrambling to undo his breeches, freeing his cock from the confines of the material. He pulled off his leather suit as well, the tunic following along with his tunic, hating the way the sweat was sticking to him.

You wouldn't help but admire the view in front of you. You spread your legs before he could say anything, hiking up your nightgown to reveal your cunt. Aemond's eye widened in surprise at your bold move, driving him crazy even more.

Aemond grabbed you by your thighs, pulling you forward as he lined himself against your entrance as he slowly pushed in. You winced when you felt a sudden heat of pain down there. His length penetrates you slowly.

He wanted to pull out the minute he saw blood, yet the darker side of him only felt motivated, knowing that he's taking your maidenhead. It drove him further off the edge.

You on the other hand only felt slight discomfort but your eyes widened when you saw blood.

Ah right, the hymen of women in this era is still intact as they're not that active for it to break off due to physical movement. So even the slightest penetration would lead you to bleed.

Basic biology, you shrugged it off, if only they knew. You felt annoyed, not agreeing with the custom this era practices.

Aemond settled fully inside you, his cock throbbing inside, the way your walls felt warm around him. Without a warning he began moving, which cut you off your thoughts when you felt yourself being jolted up and down, his thrusts starting off rough from the beginning.

‘That's right, focus on him for now.’ You tell yourself internally, gripping onto his shoulders, staring into his eye. Your hand reached upwards towards his eyepatch and he flinched away a little before he realised what you were doing.

You took the eyepatch off, revealing the sapphire that rested in his eye. You sat on your elbows, cupping his cheek as he leans in. You kiss him on the eye before kissing his cheek and finally kissing him on the lips.

He pushes you back onto the bed, not breaking the kiss and neither stopping his thrusts as he supports himself on his elbows kissing you with thirst desperately wanting to be quenched while simultaneously ramming into you.

You gasped when you felt him hit your sweet spot, making way for his tongue to slip past your lips, his tongue challenging yours in a battle of dominance.

You were losing it, of course, because his tip kept ramming and grazing against your gspot, pushing you to the edge. You gripped his back in desperation, your fingers leaving bites on his flesh.

And then, you felt it, the sudden shot of immense pleasure up your spine to the point it made you push your head back into the mattress as you gasped loudly into the kiss, whining directly into it. The pleasure blinded you temporarily as you convulsed around him.

He felt you clench and grip him tightly, which pushed him off the edge as well, he grunted, finishing inside you with a soft call of your name, it felt erotic, it felt comforting all at once.

Aemond wouldn't stop with just this one time, after all, he finally got the taste of what he craved the most. He continued all night, taking you all positions known to mankind, leaving you a moaning mess beneath him.

The night was wonderful, it was only when the sky began to turn into a lighter shade than darkness that he'd stop, collapsing next you and allowing you to rest in his arms.

You fell asleep soundly in his embrace. It was peaceful.

But, the peace wouldn't last for long.

The knocks on your chamber door were hurried and loud. Aemond grunted in his sleep, annoyed at the disturbance before waking up, you had woken up as well. He wrapped a cloth around his lower body before he went and opened the door, to find a panicked Alicent.

“Y/N— Aemond?” She's surprised to see Aemond, so many questions arise in her mind as she's processing the sight before her. She wanted to reprimand, but she could not because a lot was on her mind already.

“What is it, mother?” Aemond asks cooly, not bothered by her reaction. You hold the blanket to your chest, leaning sideways to try and catch a glimpse of Alicent, yet you only catch a sight of her dress and her dishevelled hair.

“Aemond your father— is dead.”

The words that left her mouth made your blood run cold. Aemond seemed just as shocked, remaining silent as he processed the information before he blinked. “And Aegon, he's gone.” She finishes.

Aemond immediately returns back into the room, putting on his breeches with haste before throwing on the tunic and rushing out of the room. Leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Viserys is dead.

Aegon is gone.

Fuck.

TAGLIST !!

@gabriella-aesthetic @delaynew @idonotknowenglish @dixie-elocin @intheheartoftheking @dracaryxzs @ladyoffandoms @zoleea-exultant @saturnssrings @uniquecutie-puffs @aleemendoza2425-blog @marvelita85 @feelingfaye @sylvievil @cypherpt5fttaehyung @ttysmfwna @void21 @technicallystrangereview @feyresqueen @evergreen9083 @mirandasidefics @org12 @blorbo-brainrot @thisishwrworld @shadowqueen09 @watermel0nsugarhigh @cottoncandyclouds-stuff @madislayyy @the-hufflebird-girl @hiatuswhore

[inkyarcturus]

I think there’s two ways that Harry could react to this continued mistreatment, implosion or explosion. While I love a good implosion, I think that’s a lil too much angst for the night, so explosion it is >:D (I gave u some fluff at the end)

Harry’s jealousy starts getting the better of him. He starts screaming a lil louder, mouthing off more often, disobeying Severus more.

It starts slow with Harry muttering more insults under his breath, it becomes automatic whenever he sees Severus treating one of the other kiddos.

Then, he starts rolling his eyes, sighing, huffing, nearly stomping like a child whenever Severus does something. He recognizes how infantile it all is but he just can’t seem to stop himself.

Then he starts insulting him in his face, purposefully putting the wrong ingredient in while brewing, turning in poor work, coming in late to class more often than not.

At some point he stops thinking of this as retribution for the pain hes caused/missing Harry’s abuse, or as a way of protecting his friends, and instead starts seeing it as more a desperate cry for help.

A desperate “HEY LOOK AT ME!!! IM BEING A PROBLEM, WILL YOU HELP ME NOW?”

Throughout the entire time, Hermione is watching this unfold with keen eyes. She tries warning Snape, he does not listen.

It gets so bad he starts trying to get Ron and Nev to stop going to the lil check up meetings the Snape has for them throughout the year. He notices how much he’s changed and all it does is make the feelings feel bigger and worse. He is tearing everyone else apart and himself in the process.

Everything comes to a head when Snape catches one of his comments while helping Nev. Snape asked Nev to stay after class to check up on him. They had just got done with a potions class where the two of them partnered up together and their potion exploded, causing them to get harsh burns on their arms. Harry quickly hides that he was affected by the explosion.

Snape only asks Nev to stay after, not Harry. Harry stays anyways, stalling to watch as Snape grabs some burn ointment to help Nev.

“It doesn’t hurt THAT bad, it’s just some burns you don’t have to heal him.”

Fuck.

Snapes head snaps up at him and he glares.

Double fuck.

Harry winces at his own words, still pulling down his sleeves so the burns don’t show. He regrets it as soon as the words come out of his mouth. Cuz he has the same burns as Nev and he knows they hurt like hell, he knows his jealousy is what’s speaking.

Snape looks back at Nev, done applying the burn ointment and sends him off, voice soft. He forces Harry to stay back.

The argument is catastrophic. It includes Harry’s accidental magic going haywire, it includes screaming, crying, attempts at running and too many realizations to count on Snapes side.

While Harry tries to run out of the classroom, Snape grasps at his injured arm, causing him to yelp in pain. It’s the catalyst for Severus’s noticing. He pulls Harry back and pulls his sleeve back, revealing the burn. It’s quiet, it’s still as Severus is forced to confront his own negligence.

Then he moves, quickly as he can accioing a bottle of the burn ointment (a stronger dosage, of course potter was injured worse than Longbottom) he tries his best to calm the wriggling Harry in his grasp, softly shushing him as he puts on the ointment.

Harrys sobbing trying to deny it, screaming his frustrations over why Snape just couldn’t fucking see it dammit, it’s written in his mind, in his body, in his soul.

All the while Severus just continues to softly apologize for it all in hushed tones, continuing to apply the potions, not letting him run and hide from him this time. Because while Harry is right, in a way it was obvious the entire time, his body kept the score, but his brain just couldn’t seem to let anyone see the score board.

And in the end, It is not the best, but it is better. It is a start.

(Something something, Harry ending up on snapes lap sobbing his eyes out and Snape just letting him until he falls asleep, tension gone from his body as he finally feels safe and seen)

Tw: Child abuse

While I don’t envision Harry to be a particularly jealous person in the books, I can’t help but think about certain situations with Severitus where that emotion might come out.

I especially think about it when fanfics depict Severus as a protector for abused children in slytherin or Hogwarts as a whole. I think Harry seeing how Snape treats other children compared to him would enrage him.

Just seeing everything that he could have if things were just a little bit different, if he was sorted into slytherin, or if he just had a different father, or some other insignificant thing, he could have had the love, care and protection he always wanted. He could have had someone on his side who actually fought for him, was willing to do the hard stuff for him.

But he doesn’t just get jealous of how Snape treats other children, he gets jealous of the fact that Snape FINDS OUT about the other children’s abuse. He sees how easily Severus seems to pick up on other kids flinching, hiding injuries, or peculiar behavior, taking them aside after class within the first year, first month of school. Yet, after years of knowing him, Snape seems to have no clue. He sees that and can’t help but think why not him as well, he gets so so angry.

The anger and jealousy doesn’t stick however as he just ends up thinking maybe the way the dursleys treat him isn’t so bad, after all, if the number one person in the school for detecting abuse can’t see it, maybe it’s not actually abuse. And anyways, he should be grateful the other kids have someone to go to.

And somewhere deep down he thinks it’s his fault, because he has gotten rather good at covering up their tracks over the years. How can he blame the Professor when he purposefully hides the evidence?

Anyways hope yall enjoyed this rant :D

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

“even i’m not into that shit”

❤︎ synopsis — the sleep token members being fucking morons and fucking around

pairing: sleep token members x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦

a/n: I’M BACK !!!! hopefully i don’t disappear for like a good fifty years after this. this is my third set of stupid ass headcanons. i pulled my shitty humor out of my ass for this one, enjoy !!! (the original ask got swallowed by my dumbass because i accidentally posted the unfinished fic 💀 this is dedicated to my bestie @dead-end-fanfiction)

cw: i think the title speaks for itself

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➵ vessel

i just know this man is the most unhygienic motherfucker to ever exist

more specifically with his teeth. he cannot brush his teeth to save his life

like ??? this all powerful, dark deity, has the most stinky ass breath that if anyone dares to even breath it in, they’d disintegrate on the spot

like what the fuck vessel, you’re better than this

i love vessel but he just does weird shit sometimes

he sleeps butt ass naked

and one time you accidentally walked in on him while he was literally stripping to get ready for bed

he stood there like an npc while you were freaking out

“…. what’s wrong—“ “what’s wrong is that YOU’RE BUTT ASS NAKED IN FRONT OF ME—“

vessel is easily fascinated by human things. i mean - he was once human, so he likes to keep in touch every now and then.

however, out of all of the human things he had to have an obsession with.

… it was rubber ducks

this isn’t even explainable— how do you explain this all-powerful sleep entity to be obsessed with rubber ducks

he literally has a whole room dedicated to his collection of anything rubber duck related. give him a gift that has something to do with ducks and he’s making out with you on the spot

that’s not a joke, he did that with you before

➵ ii

this motherfucker is on his last limb and he’s being held together by paper clips

ii’s not even the leader but he cannot catch a break to save his life

he’s the only one that knows how to cook

one time he left ivy and the vesselettes in the kitchen by themselves. came back to house fires and high pitched screaming that definitely was not from the ladies

ii makes bomb ass banana cream pie though

ik for a fact this man does NOT keep his room clean

you once walked into his room to ask him a favor and there were like - a million drumsticks everywhere on the floor while he sat in the center of it

how does one possess that many drumsticks???

“dude what the f— clean your room!” “it gives me inner peace, y/n. go away.”

ii’s scared of the jollibee mascot

he once went out with his buddies to get some of that fast food. that giant red and yellow fuckass bee then came out of nowhere and spooked the shit out of ii

he then socked the guy in the face so hard the dude wearing the costume had a bloody nose

ii quickly fled the scene to not get arrested

after that he’s had a fear of fast food mascots in general, it’s kinda funny.

don’t bring ii near the jack in the box mascot though, he’s got some trauma from what he’s seen on twitter

➵ iii

zesty ahh mf

plays his bass like he’s fingering someone’s asshole like 🤨 whatcha doin’ iii ??

the type of man to set like fifty million alarms but never wakes up to any of them

however he wakes up everyone else in the process

it gets annoying hearing the “by the seaside” ringtone every morning at 6am. so one day you came into his room and poured ice cold water on him to wake him up

iii didn’t wake up from that btw, you thought it was dead

“…. bro wtf wake up—“

thankfully he wasn’t

biggest kpop stan

he’s a boy group stan and his favorite group is ateez

constantly blasting guerilla too

also i feel like iii owns a tumblr blog too

he’d be out here posting some shih like “pov you’re locked in a room w him for twenty four hours and you have to tickle his balls wyd” 💀

he probably posts also moodboards or some shi and tags them like an actual tumblr blogger

#it took my ahh fifty hours to make this plz repost it

stalks his fans on twitter

gets scared by said fans on twitter

“wdym they wanna get me pregnant”

breaks his bass every four hours during practice and vessel chews his ahh out every time

but it’s funny because you’re always there to help him

➵ ivy

he likes to act like he’s tough shit but ivy is a huge nerd

literally the definition of “magical in bed” except the magic is him explaining the gaming system of magic the gathering

hot asf but has no bitches frfr

also the definition of loser trapped in a hottie’s body

i’d like to believe that ivy has a crunchy ipad kid cough

and i mean CRUNCHY. bro will start choking on his saliva and start coughing like a dying seal

it’s quite hilarious, but also concerning at the same time

the first time you heard him cough like that, you were like 😟

“AEUGH- HEUGH— BEUHSHAK-“ “ivy—“

that pretty sums up the entire interaction

this bitch looks like he ate glue as a kid

more specifically glitter glue. the pink kind.

idk that sounds like ivy

he gets literal death coffee in the morning too btw

no ice. no sugar. straight shots of espresso.

eight shots, btw.

the coffee looks blacker than the black hole.

iii tried some of his coffee one time and spat it all in your face. ivy watched with his hell coffee in hand as you beat the shit out of iii

yeah, safe to say ivy was banned from having that kind of coffee for a while

so yeah. that pretty much sums up the kind of person ivy is

[puuuders]

Marigold - Terzomega - Part One of Tranquility

Ghost fanfiction

Fluff

~

A/N - As I mentioned before, I lost interest in angst. Now I wanna write fluff. And smut. Haha. Thanks @ofthemorningstars /pos

BUT this isn't really a whole fanfiction, it's just a collection of short stories basically. Little to no angst.

~

It is a beautiful summer day in Linköping, Sweden, one that Omega does not want to waste at mass. Luckily, after Sister's death and the Emeritus brother's resurrections, his time with his beloved Terzo is infinite.

2.5k words

Read on AO3

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Omega held his breath as he turned in bed, stretching out his arms. His tongue curled as he yawned like a cat, sitting up and looking down at the still sleeping figure beside him, his chest immediately rumbling into a purr. He would never get used to the sight. Some years ago, he would have felt indifferent to Terzo’s form beside him, having grown familiar with his presence in their shared bed. Perhaps he became ungrateful for his human partner back when Terzo first became Papa. The threat of his absence hadn’t crossed his mind, at least not the possibility of his absence any time soon. Until, it happened one day. Omega regretted not giving Terzo a kiss on his cheek every morning, whether he was awake or not, because there was nothing the ghoul wanted to do more now that he was able to again.

Omega leaned down, planting a soft kiss on Terzo’s cheek, taking a moment to gaze down at him lovingly. Now, that threat of his absence was almost entirely eradicated. As a side effect of the human’s resurrection, he lost the ability to age. He was forever 54 with an immune system of a demon like Omega himself. Sure, Terzo could develop typically deadly illnesses or simple common colds, but the ailments would be removed from his body within the week. This was proven when Terzo developed a nasty case of pneumonia a few days ago, leaving him bed ridden and Omega in anxious shambles. Until, suddenly, the very next morning, his lungs were thriving. No one was entirely sure if he or his brothers could possibly be killed anymore. A common theory around the ministry is that they were actually ghouls now, who were immortal, but remained in their human bodies due to the nature of the resurrection. They were simply souls possessing the bodies. But nothing could be proven.

“Time to get up, I see you smiling.” Omega spoke gently next to Terzo’s ear, who rolled over with a groan in an attempt to hide his smile after feeling Omega’s kiss. Omega chuckled, rubbing Terzo’s shoulder.

”Come on. You can go back to sleep after mass.”

”I don’t want to go to mass.” Terzo pouted like a child. Omega scoffed playfully, gliding his claws up and down Terzo’s arm in a soothing manner.

”Who will feed me his body and his blood if you are not at mass?” Omega asked, smiling as Terzo rolled around and finally opened his mismatched eyes. They gazed at each other momentarily before Terzo sighed, sitting up.

”Only because I do not want anyone else’s thumb in your mouth,” Terzo swung his legs off of the side of the bed, standing up to stretch. “Only my thumb goes in your mouth.”

”But you can put your thumb in many people’s mouths, hm?” Omega stood up, moving to the closet to fetch each of their clothes. He pulled out his own typical uniform, slinging it over his shoulder and picking out Terzo’s. Terzo had a bit more leeway with his attire, having multiple suits and dress shirts that he wore to mass. Omega picked out his personal favorite to see on his beloved Terzo: his pink button up and white vest with matching pants.

”It is my duty, ghoul,” Terzo took his clothes as they were handed to them, “I do not take any pleasure in any other than you.”

”I know, I know.” Omega pulled the back t-shirt over his head, quickly stuffing his arms into his jacket before Terzo could get distracted with lustful thoughts and comments about his ghoul’s body. Terzo removed his own shirt, accidentally nicking the scab forming around his neck.

”Ouch.” Terzo winced, moving his hand up to touch the thick scar. Omega whipped his head around to look at him, his heart dropping.

”What’s wrong? Terzo?” Omega quickly stepped over, fully dressed now, gently placing his larger hands overtop Terzo’s.

”I am okay, I just scratched it a bit.” Terzo pulled his hand away. The scar was still red, stitches still in his skin just in case Terzo was not actually immortal. It was Omega’s call to take such precautions, him having the authority as the head of the infirmary department to make such decisions. Even so, if he was not in a powerful position, Terzo would have had it done anyway just to soothe the ghoul’s unending paranoia.

Omega leaned in, closing his eyes as he pressed a warm kiss to the scar.

“Be careful, amore.” Omega stood by, watching as Terzo dressed himself to ensure his safety. Terzo found it silly that Omega was so worried about Terzo dressing himself, but he knew the concern came from a deep, genuine fear, so he would never point it out.

Mass went as boring and uninteresting as Terzo had expected it to be. Omega would smile behind his metal mask as Terzo would frequently shift positions up there sitting near the altar. He would cross his legs with his arms crossed, head tilted to the side to listen to Copia’s stuttering Satanic prayers. Then, he would shift, manspreading and hanging his head, eyes wide and nodding at nothing in particular. Finally, by the time it was Terzo’s turn to give the body and blood, Terzo had his head leaned back against the wall, asleep. Copia had to snap his fingers in front of his face to wake him, a quiet wave of giggles rumbling across the mass attendees.

As Terzo made his way across the room, Omega noticed how Terzo would pinch the crackers, placing them with a flick of his fingers on each person’s tongue. Terzo was not grossed out or upset about having to feed them, in fact he enjoyed the feeling of providing for the siblings and ghouls. Almost nurturing them, like a mother would her baby. But there was a clear difference in the way Terzo would feed the other siblings and ghouls and the way he would Omega. When Terzo approached Omega, Omega lifted his mask and held it delicately in his hands. Terzo placed the cracker on his thumb instead of pinched between his fingers. Omega opened his mouth, letting his tongue poke out, and Terzo would gently press the cracker on to his tongue. When Omega finished, instead of handing the shot glass to him, Terzo would gently lean Omega’s head back and slowly pour the wine into his mouth. The whole process made the large ghoul fidgety and flustered, but the shyness he felt was entirely worth that look of adoration written all over Terzo’s face. Similarly, the boredom and annoyance Terzo would feel having to sit so far away from Omega during mass was worth seeing the blush spread across his face when he finally got to feed him.

“You need to stop falling asleep in mass, tesoro.” Omega scolded, wrapping his fingers around Terzo’s smaller hand as they shuffled out of the room in the midst of the crowd. The people dispersed throughout the halls, most of which heading for the dining hall since it was now lunchtime. Terzo and Omega decided neither of them were hungry, so they opted to head outside in the ministry gardens to enjoy the heat of the thriving summer. Besides, with the major amount of changes Copia had installed on the ministry and their morals, they could always go somewhere else to eat if they grew hungry later on in the day.

“I do not actually sleep,” Terzo claimed as they walked across the path, the sweet scent of roses filling their noses, “I only do it to annoy Copia. And make people laugh. Mass is boring, someone has to make it worthwhile.”

”What would we do without you and your comedy?” Omega sighed, kissing Terzo on the top of his head. Terzo smiled.

”Whatever you did while I was gone.” Terzo looked up at Omega, feeling the grip on his hand tightened. The smile faded.

“I’m sorry, that was not funny.” Terzo murmured.

”No, amore, don’t be sorry.” Omega sat down on a stone bench, facing a rose bush. He placed his hands on Terzo’s waist, having him sit on his lap. Terzo gladly did so, wrapping his arms around Omega’s shoulders.

”There was no replacement for you and your… Your artful smartass-ary.” Omega chuckled dryly, rubbing Terzo’s back as he looked up at him.

“I don’t think I smiled once in those 6 years.”

”Isn’t it funny how much nicer it is without those decrepit old bastards around?” Terzo said lightheartedly, trying to help Omega’s clearly anxious mood. “Ah, and we all blamed my brother. I do not forgive him for that humiliating stunt with Metal Hammer, though. And Metal Hammer! Of all magazines! Metal Hammer. Sounds like Square Hammer. Embarrassing.”

Terzo sighed, playing with the back of Omega's hair as he continued.

“I know what you say, that if it were not for those old bastards, none of this would have happened. I believe you.”

”Copia was so scared of you especially when we were preparing your resurrection,” Omega chuckled, swallowing the lump in his throat that he did not want Terzo to notice, “he knew you’d have something to say about Metal Hammer.”

“It is humiliating!” Terzo exclaimed. “I should do the same to him.”

”I think you embarrassed him enough when you pantsed him at Sister’s ashes ritual,” Omega grinned. Terzo tossed his head back in a cackle.

“Hello Kitty underwear, he had!”

“He deserved it.” Omega chuckled. Terzo nodded, sliding off of Omega’s lap to sit on the bench. He leaned his head on the ghoul’s broad shoulder, closing his eyes contentedly as he felt Omega’s arm wrapped around him.

“I do not care what Copia did while I was gone,” Terzo spoke more solemnly this time, “I am just glad to have you back, mio amore.”

They sat silently for a moment, basking in the sweet air of each other's presence. With Omega's arm wrapped around him, Terzo reached over to the side of the bench, plucking out a plump marigold from its plant. He brought it over to them both, smelling it and humming.

“I love marigolds,” Terzo began, holding it up for Omega to smell it as well. “They always remind me of this festival, the lantern festival. They are quite popular in China. And Japan. Not here in Linköping, though, I have checked. Many times.”

Terzo twirled the flower around in his fingers.

“Marigolds? Or the lantern festival?” Omega asked.

“Both if they have any taste.” Terzo smiled. “No, I mean the festivals. They light hundreds of thousands- Omega ghoul, have you ever watched Tangled?” Terzo looked up at him questioningly. Omega pursed his lips with a smile, looking away, knowing he was about to offend his movie obsessed partner.

“No, I haven't.”

“We will watch it tonight!” Terzo exclaimed, tucking the marigold behind Omega's ear. Omega chuckled, allowing Terzo to adorn him with the brightly colored flower. “You will see how pretty it is. It is a good movie. I wish I could get married at the lantern festival.”

Omega began to stare off into space upon hearing Terzo's confession.

”What?” Alpha called in response to the urgent knock on his door. He was in the middle of fixing his hair, squeezing a handful of mousse into it. He would never admit it, but he had an intricate hair care routine. He stuffed his products in the cupboard under the bathroom sink as he ventured into the main part of his room, opening the door.

”I need your help with something.” Omega breathed out, fidgeting with his fingers.

Alpha raised a brow. He opened the door wider and allowed Omega in, shutting the door behind him.

“What is it? Oh, don’t even tell me. You want me to make you 500 candles again for a date with Terzo, don’t you?” Alpha rolled his eyes, but he was not seriously annoyed. Omega parted his lips to speak, blush spreading across his face, but nothing came out. Alpha’s expression softened.

”What?”

“Well… Kind of.” Omega shrugged. “Lanterns. Lots… Lots of lanterns. Terzo’s been telling me about this lantern festival he wanted to go to, but it’s not in Linköping. So I want to make it for him.”

”Never heard of it,” Alpha crossed his arms, noting Omega’s fast pace. “Why?”

“He’s been- Well, he’s just-“ Omega stuttered, his chest puffed out, “he just likes it and I wanna do it. Can you help?”

Alpha paused, studying Omega’s body language with the worst RBF Alpha had ever produced. His silence prompted Omega to continue his rambling.

“And I already know, it’s a fire hazard, but I talked to Copia and he said yes as long as the water ghouls are around. Plus, you can also let the lanterns float in the lake. And I will ask Dew and Ifirit to help but I know they are busy with the rituals, so-“

“What’s going on?” Alpha interrupted with a smirk, idly shifting his weight back and forth on each foot. “What’s this for, big guy?”

Omega held his breath for a moment, debating on whether he was going to lie or not. Finally, he decided there was no point and he exhaled, reaching in his pocket as he looked down. He pulled out a small jewelry box and opened it delicately. Alpha’s jaw dropped as his eyes landed on a beautiful ruby ring, glistening with pink and white moissanite that lined the metal band of the ring.

“Holy shit.” Alpha spat out. He raised his hands, looking up at Omega for permission to hold it. Omega nodded.

”Just… Careful.” Omega choked, his nerves apparent. Alpha carefully picked it out of the box, looking all around it.

“How fucking much did you pay for this?” Alpha laughed as he looked at it.

”Uh… Well, I bought it from Earth a week ago. He made it.” Omega watched sheepishly as Alpha examined it in awe before putting it back in the box.

“How much?” Alpha repeated. Omega bit his lip.

”Uh… 22 thousand krona.” Omega blushed deeply at the price. Alpha’s hair burst into flames at the tag.

”Jesus fuck!” Alpha exclaimed.

“I make a lot more now that I’m in the infirmary!” Omega defended. Alpha patted out the flame on his head, eyes still locked on Omega.

”He does not need a 22 thousand krona ring!” Alpha laughed. Omega blushed even more.

“He deserves it, though.” Omega murmured.

“He’s gonna fucking love it.” Alpha reassured. “Yes, I’ll help you with the lanterns. When?”

”Sunday. I still need some time to plan it. I'm gonna, uh… Propose that night. After the lanterns are lit.” Omega fidgeted with the ring on his finger anxiously.

“Okay,” Alpha. Followed as Omega moved to leave the room. “Knowing him, you'll be married the next day.”

Omega smiled, his temples beginning to hurt from grinning so much.

“Thank you.” Omega waved and shut the door, drawing in a deep breath as he began to walk down the hallway to join his future husband in their suite for the night.

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

is cal jealous of milena? if so, i need hcs on andre reassuring cal that he loves cal more than his gun.

cal hating milena headcanons (but andre reassures him he loves him more)

yes, i meant her. my sick brain was getting to me yesterday so i couldnt think of how to spell her name LOL also these suck a little bit cuz im tired but i tried my best

andre will whip milena out every time he gets the chance. it doesnt matter what its for - he just really loves that fucking gun.

cal on the other hand absolutely hates it. andre gives her a LOT of attention when in comparison to him - it makes him very jealous.

in reference to the post we are talking about, andre will pull her out during sex and will be stroking the barrel and running his finger over the trigger while cal watches in extreme distaste.

i feel like andre will also make cal suck on the end of it which he heavily protests against, but will end up doing it anyway, only for it not to be enjoyable.

andre will be REALLY enjoying it though and he wont even realize that cals not into it at least until hes looking anywhere but at andre and the gun and barely even trying to suck on it anymore.

at that point andre will ask whats wrong and calvin will tell him - letting him know exactly how he feels about his gunwife and how he hates that he brings her into everything.

it makes andre feel bad so he sort of sets milena off to the side somewhere else and will do his best to reassure him that he does love him more then his gun.

andre will tell cal that the gun is just a gun and that cal will always mean more to him and he could never love anything or anyone more then him because of how special he is to him and just some really sweet stuff like that, ya know?

cal would probably feel a lot better afterwards and i think andre would then go out of his way to give him a lot of attention and care - i just need to see him give him a lot of kisses and affection even though he isnt really that type of guy.

even afterwards he would refrain himself from bringing milena up too much and would only talk about her when necessary - he would also hold himself back from rambling about all her details and how pretty he thinks she is and would instead correct himself and say how pretty he thinks cal is.

[typicalopposite]

👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶

👀

ohhhh! you're interested interested! lol well since you wanted so many I'm gonna also double this as...

WIP Wednesday

(since I was tagged by these lovlies - @bidisasterevankinard @lavenderleahy @bangpop91 & @quintessenceofdust88 <3)

Evan is so close to him; his eyes searching and sad, his lips parted as he takes long deep breaths. He lifts a hand to Tommy’s cheek and caresses it as gently as he did the first time he initiated a kiss between them. It was after the coffee date, and Tommy walked Evan back to his jeep. Evan turned and grabbed Tommy’s face in the same way, and pulled him into a kiss. Which is exactly what he does now— slower this time… giving Tommy the chance to pull back or speak up— he doesn’t; Evan kisses him, and he just sighs into it, desperate for it. “Then… is— is this really what you want?” Evan asks, pulling back to look into Tommy’s eyes just as a tear falls. Tommy is a coward. He is not brave enough to say no… he’s too scared to say yes (not again). 

“I’m sorry…” he says. Forgive me… he means.

“Okay.” Evan says softly, leaning his forehead against Tommys; he sighs. “Okay…” he repeats and moves his lips back to Tommy’s, and Tommy should pull away… he should stop them from crossing that line, even just one last time.

He doesn’t.

He thought it would be… intense, like it is in the movies. Heated, rough… maybe it would even hurt– hurt in the way he feels he deserves for the hurt he has caused. It should leave him sore for days, limping into work so his team can poke fun and come up with a dozen or more theories… But it wasn’t. Tommy wonders if it’s even possible for sex with Evan to be anything less than amazing. Whether he takes, or he gives, he does it with so much passion and care, it’s breathtaking. Tommy opens his eyes to look at Evan and realizes… that actually makes it hurt so much worse. 

Maybe this is exactly the goodbye he deserves. A reminder he will never find something, someone, like this again. 

It’s over too soon, and he’s left breathless lying on Evan’s chest, trying to soak in every second he can before he needs to pull away for their own good. Evan’s hands hold him tightly, and only tighten when he starts to move, but not tight enough to keep him from pulling free. 

This is for the best. He tells himself this again and again and again as he slowly gets dressed, and Evan lies motionless staring up at the ceiling— Tommy only glances at him a couple times… each one has him wanting to crawl back into the bed and cling to Evan for dear life. He doesn’t. 

He runs his fingers through his tousled hair, tries to find some words so he isn’t just walking out with nothing more said… but none come to him. 

“I guess… I’ll see you around?” Evan says first, sighing out a halfhearted laugh at the broken record of a line— it’s like he knows it’s not true. He turns his head and finally locks eyes with Tommy, and the hold is so powerful Tommy isn’t sure if he’ll be able to break it. 

He could say something… he could take it back… he could come clean about his reasons for running… He simply nods. 

Evan swallows, and turns away from him— thankfully (thought is Tommy actually thankful for it?) breaking the connection himself, and looking back at the ceiling. “Goodbye Tommy…” 

“Goodbye…” Buck— no… “—Evan.”  He watches as Evan screws his eyes shut and turns away from him.  

Tommy stumbles his way down the stairs, determined to get out of the loft— out of earshot— before succumbing to his emotions. He looks back one more time at the ruins that remain of their relationship, strikes a match and tosses it with the closing of the door.

<3<3<3<3<3

Make Me Write!

and throwing out some NP tags forrrrr @30somethingautisticteacher @onthewaytosomewhere @sunnywithachanceofbi @nine-one-wanton @judymarch15 @herrmannhalsteadproduction

@unhingedangstaddict @leashybebes @beanarie @hyperfocusthusly @kinardsevanaaand @weewookinard anyone else who wants to participate <3

[inuxi]

that ask was rude of me, i should've just blocked you instead of telling you about it, i'm sorry. i'm aroace and sex+romance repulsed, and i guess i thought alastor was gonna be something i could enjoy for once like everyone else gets to without feeling like i'm intruding on a conversation i have no right to be part of. i'm on ios so i can't use browser extensions to actually get rid of all the alastor ship posts like i want, and i'm not sure my problem even has a solution short of just giving up trying, because so far i have found exactly zero blogs that are 1.) still active at all, 2.) still post about Hazbin, 3.) aren't actually 12 years old, and 4.) don't post about fucking Alastor ships. i got so excited seeing such good, recent art i haven't nuked yet considering how old every other post i can still see is, and i'm not kidding when i say i sent that ask through tears. it was rude and unacceptable either way, and i'm sorry.

i've blocked over 200 different people and i'm not exaggerating that number even a little bit. i would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger myself than see them so much as breathe next to each other ever again. i am so. so so so so so sick of searching and searching and searching and finding nothing.

the thing i've learned from alastor's aroace representation is that not only is the world as a whole not made to accommodate me, fandom space isn't either. i am an alien on a planet i was never made to fit into, and i don't even get to escape that through fiction like everyone else does. no amount of filtering and blocking and searching will bring into existence a community for me that simply does not exist, and it is futile for me to try. that's what this fandom has taught me.

i think the chances of me sticking around in this fandom are slim, so at least it won't be an issue for anyone else anymore. i think being excluded from conversations about an aroace character sting a lot more than just not being represented at all to be honest.

Okay, listen.

First of all, Alastor is officially an Ace, NOT an aroace. That means he can still be interested in any romantic things or finding a couple. No one is stopping you from seeing him exclusively as an aroace. But shaming people who don't share your point of view is a bad idea.

Secondly, I am an aroace artist myself. Romantic and sexual themes are virtually non-existent in my art. I can joke about it, but almost all of my drawings explore completely different things. And you come to me and try to talk about how hard it is to feel socially comfortable being an aroace? I understand your worries, but, again, trying to shame other people because they don't share your point of view is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.

Third, I have done THREE drawings in all my time that include a romanticized Alastor. Two of them were collabs, and the third was asked to be drawn by people. And these three drawings made you give up on my art, which you said you really liked?

The community is too heavily oriented towards romantic and sexual themes, it's true. People like us are often uncomfortable in that environment, that's also true. But aroace people can't just come in and ban others from having fun just because we don't find that fun or interesting.

Man, I'm not even Alastor's artist! What the kind of Alastor shipper am I? And you picked me out of a thousand people to block? Oh my God, that's as funny as it is sad.

In case you haven't looked at my art, I am a Lucifer artist. I very rarely draw Alastor, simply because I don't find him interesting enough. And because of that, I find it so funny to be labeled an “Alastor shipper”

[dudeshusband]

Title: A Very Mikedude Thanksgiving

Words: 1.1k

Description: Mike and Dude host Thanksgiving.

Warnings: Mentions of religion (really they just say grace but cya and all that), the briefest mention of 1880s politics, period typical shenanigans

Dude took off his hat and ruffled his hair before walking up to the steps of his and Mike’s little house. The stairs hadn't quite become familiar to him yet. He still wasn’t used to having a house, or a ranch of his own. He twisted the doorknob and breathed in the smell of fresh baked pumpkin pie. Chance nodded at him from the dining table. Stumpy grinned at him. Feathers smiled politely. Was he late to his own Thanksgiving party? He hung his hat on a rack by the door and took off his ascot.

Mike was in the kitchen, checking on the turkey. Dude stepped in as soon as they closed the oven door and rose up to their full height.

“Hi, honey. Smells good,” he whispered close to their neck. He pressed a kiss behind their ear. Mike turned around and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Dude flushed bright red. “We have guests! I just gave you a quick peck. We’re not puttin’ on a show here.”

Mike rolled their eyes and shook their head fondly. “We’re married, silly.”

“We wouldn’t want to get in the way of your husbandly duties,” Colorado called teasingly as he walked through the door. “Sorry I’m late.”

Mike waved their hand. “You aren’t late. Thanks for coming.”

“I’m gonna kill that kid,” Dude joked.

“Kid? He’s only a few years younger than me. You remember that.”

“Hey, I ain’t no cradle robber.”

“I didn’t say that,” Mike retorted. “Anyway, move so I can finish these mashed potatoes.”

“Can’t even get a ‘please’ anymore.”

Mike grinned. “Okay, please move your ass so I don’t burn Thanksgiving dinner.”

Dude lifted his hands. “Alright, I’m going.”

He took a seat at the table and waited for Mike to bring everything out. He wished they would’ve let him help in there. It was a big ask for one person.

Mike brought out the vegetables first, and the dinner rolls. Next came wine (for everyone but Mike and Dude), and apple cider for Mike and Dude. The stuffing next, and the turkey last.

“Want me to carve it, honey?” Dude asked. He gave them his biggest pleading eyes. They had to let him do something.

Mike handed him the knife, and Dude divied up the turkey to everyone, except Mike.

“Does everyone want to say grace, or no?” Mike asked the table.

Everyone looked amongst each other. Mike was the only atheist at the table (don’t tell anyone). The rest were Southern Baptists, and the lone Catholic, Dude. He suddenly regretted not asking if Carlos and Consuelo would like to come here instead of hosting at the hotel.

“I’ll do it,” Dude offered. He bowed his head, and the others followed suit. “Here goes. Holy Father, thank you for this meal we’re about to have, and for bringing us all here together. Here’s to another good year. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

“Amen,” replied everyone else.

The group began to eat. Various conversations about how Mike and Dude’s horses and crops were holding up, town gossip, local events, and price changes ensued.

As far as politics:

“How do we feel ‘bout that man in office?” asked Colorado.

“Arthur?” asked Mike. “He isn’t too good for immigration.”

“What’s he got against Chinamen?” asked Chance.

That conversation quickly concluded.

“When are you gettin’ married, Chance?” asked Dude.

“When I find a woman I wanna get married to,” Chance almost grumbled.

“When he figures out how to be open with his feelings, he means,” Feathers interjected.

“Feelings? I’m a man of the law.”

“So’s Dude but he has feelings,” Mike pointed out.

“Don’t go gettin’ soft on me, Dude.”

“What? Need me or somethin’?” Dude teased. He waved his hand.“Ah, I’m only soft on Mike.”

Mike smiled, then kissed Dude’s hand.

“Chance’ll never change,” said Dude. “Some girl’s gotta get used to his hardass act.”

“I pity that girl!” chimed in Colorado.

“I sure couldn’t,” said Feathers.

“Don’t go bringing that up!” Chance complained.

“What about you, Colorado?” Dude asked to change the subject.

Colorado swallowed the half a roll in his mouth. “What about me?”

“Got a girl?”

He smirked. “A few.”

Mike rolled their eyes. Dude shook his head.

“Always the smartass,” said Chance.

“Hey, I mean I got a line of girls looking my way,” said Colorado defensively.

“Oh do you?” Mike teased.

Colorado counted on his fingers, “Molly, Suzie, Maryann, Ester-”

“Ester?!” Dude interjected. “What pretty girl is named Ester?”

“You’re married to a Mike.”

Everyone laughed.

“Hey, now, Mike’s a- well, it’s a- it’s a boy’s name. That don’t matter. I love Mike.”

Mike squeezed his hand.

“You walked right into that, Dude,” said Stumpy with a chuckle.

“Who’s ready for some pie?” Mike asked.

Everyone chimed in with a “yes, please” and the pumpkin pie was served.

“This is some good pie, Mike,” said Colorado.

Everyone muttered something in agreement.

Mike beamed. “Thank you, I’m glad.”

After the pie, Feathers glanced out the window.

“Well, I better be getting back on the stage.”

“Hey, stay in town awhile,” suggested Dude. “You can stay here or I’m sure Carlos has a room for you. You don't gotta fly like a bat outta hell.”

Feathers gave a skeptical glance at Chance. “I don't know, John T. here doesn't seem to like me as a reminder.”

Chance retorted, in his grumpy way, “Ah, if I gave a damn, I wouldn't be here.”

“Alright,” Feathers conceded. “I’ll go talk to Carlos and see about leaving at the end of the weekend instead.”

Feathers thanked Mike and Dude, then headed off to the hotel.

Colorado stood. “Guess that's my cue, too. I didn't know being deputy got you up with the roosters. Goodnight Mike, Dude.”

“That sure was a good meal,” announced Stumpy eventually. He stood up with a hand on his leg. “I gotta get myself back to the jail. That new feller ain’t no Joe Burdette but he don't wanna be in jail either!”

“Bye Stumpy!” Mike called to him as he limped out of the house.

The last to go was Chance. “I’ll take a turn around the town. You coming Dude?”

Dude leaned on Mike’s shoulder. “Nah, I wanna be with Mike.”

Chance shrugged. “Alright. See ya tomorrow.”

Once he left, Mike and Dude started packing up the food and clearing the table.

“Maybe we should have had everyone take some home,” Mike said as they looked at the state of their icebox.

“We could give some to the church tomorrow, you know, for the needy?”

Mike nodded. “We should. It’s liable to go bad sitting on table tops and what little can survive being in the ice.”

Dude pulled Mike to his side and kissed their neck. “Mmm but that can wait ‘til tomorrow. We should go to bed.”

“You're so full of turkey it’s a wonder you're standing on your own two legs.”

Dude laughed and kissed Mike affectionately. “C’mon, honey.”

Mike took Dude's hand and the pair fell into bed, only removing some of their clothes when they got under the blankets.

“Love you,” Dude mumbled sleepily.

Mike kissed his forehead. “Love you too.”

[blu3-ja3]

Chapter 2: We Let It Go

Chapter 1

The nightclub bouncer job is going well and the regulars have already given Simon a nickname that being Ghost. Because he's got very quiet footsteps for such a large man and he's constantly wearing black. If you aren't paying attention and just see Simon from the of your eye it's like seeing a ghost. He's learned Gary and Kyle's nicknames are Roach and Gaz. And no one questions Simon about his mask or the constant covering of his face. The only problem...

Simon Riley cannot handle his hot as sin roommate... At all. If he didn't know he was gay before John MacTavish would very quickly change that. Simon has been living with Johnny for 3 months, they've been a good three months.

But Johnny is one hell of a tease and Simon Riley is as dense as a brick when it comes to being flirted with. He's also not good with his own emotions so he's having one hell a time figuring out if he likes Johnny or if he just really wants to fuck him and be done. But Simon's starting to think it's more the former than the latter.

The first big tip to that thought is Johnny refusing to let anyone else call him Johnny. Simon has heard patrons trying to call MacTavish; Johnny, only for him to cut them off. At first Simon was worried that Johnny was going to tell him to stop but one night he heard MacTavish talking to Price about he nickname.

"Only Simon can pull it off, he's the only one I let call me Johnny..." Simon hearing those words from MacTavish made some deeply possessive, feral part of him purr with satisfaction. A small voice keeps telling him to make Johnny his, forever and always.

There's so much about John MacTavish that Simon finds irresistible, that makes his heart jump and his soul beg to make Johnny his.

MacTavish's eyes are the first one that comes to Simon's mind. The heat Simon feels every time Johnny stares at him makes his heart speed up. There's such a critical curiosity to them, like Simon holds the answers to every question MacTavish has. And when his dark brown eyes meet Johnny's endless blue eyes, Simon feels like he's been set adrift in the endless ocean.

Those eyes paired with Johnny's smile makes Simon's heart stop beating. It's like Simon is staring into the sun and he's all too happy to go blind if it means he can see Johnny smile just one more time. And when Simon gets that wolfish smile from Johnny it does something to Simon that makes him go mad with an ache that Simon has no idea is called lust. He's experienced wanting someone but this was a million wants wrapped together and set a flame.

Another part of Johnny that makes Simon ache like that is the man's voice. He's very talkative which Simon miraculously finds endearing, no what sets that ache aflame is when Johnny stretches out. When the man raises his arms above his and reaches up, the moans and groans that fall from Johnny's lips are heavenly. Then he does it in public around his friends and Kyle laughs at Simon, the shock that must have been visible in his eyes and on his brows. Only for Kyle to inform Simon that those are very common and normal noises for MacTavish. That small possessive voice in Simon's head isn't happy about that little fact.

But it's quieted by the fact that no one else comes home to Johnny after a long day. The satisfaction Simon feels knowing he's the only one who gets to see Johnny sprawled out over the couch is immense. Seeing him laid out, legs spread, one arm slung over the back of the couch and the other covering his eyes is like Simon staring at fine art. Simon is more than happy to give up the couch for a bit if it means seeing such fine artistry.

And Johnny truly is the perfect muse, Simon has seen the man shirtless a great many times due to Johnny working out shirtless in his room. The first time will forever be engraved into Simon's mind, he walks into the kitchen to do something he's immediately forgotten about as he watched Johnny's back as he does pull ups in the frame of his door. Watching the construction and release of MacTavish's muscle as he moves felt almost pornographic to Simon. It took everything he had not to do filthy things to Johnny against the door frame.

But the memory that still haunts Simon, the one that reappears into his mind at some of the worst possible times, is when Simon first touched himself to the thought of Johnny. It had been a very long day for both of them, Johnny and Gary had to work hard at the nightclub bar. There was a huge bachelorette party that took a particular liking towards Simon and Johnny that night and they milked that for all its worth. But that took a toll on them so they were exhausted.

Simon was sat on the couch watching something he doesn't remember when the bathroom door opened. Steam clouds billowed out and perfectly framed the sight before Simon.

Johnny, still toweling off his hair, almost completely naked aside from a small towel hugging his hips. Simon's eyes immediately catch on the two silver nipple piercings and matching belly button piercing. Simon figured Johnny had more piercings beyond his ears and nose but seeing them is very different than thinking about them.

And then Simon's eyes caught the single water droplet that started to slip down Johnny's body. It started at his collarbone going down his chest, down his stomach and hip only to slip into the V of the man's navel before disappearing into the towel. Simon slowly raked his vision back up towards Johnny's face only to see a deep shade of pink across his cheeks and ears. Simon met Johnny's eyes for the briefs of moments before they darted down to his lips.

"Sorry... I, uh, completely forgot you lived here too..."

"Bloody Hell" was the only thing Simon's brain supplied him before he got up and left for his room. He waited until he heard Johnny's door closed before slipping out and into the shower. He took longer than usual that night to shower.

It took a few days before Simon could look at Johnny in the face without his mind supplying him with images of Johnny in a towel.

But Simon Riley was never very good at listening to his emotions and he's even worse at picking up on hints and subtle flirting.

[hotvintagepoll]

Donald O'Connor (Singin' in the Rain, Francis, Call Me Madam)— LOOK AT HIM. Those giant blue peepers. Those tappy tappy little feet that don't quit. The ears that stick out like little wings, ready to lift him up to goofy heaven. The way his face contorts into the strangest yet most endearing expressions. His ability to sing and dance alongside the hunk that is Gene Kelly and yet pull all attention away with his big-eyed buffoonery. The way his energy is unmatched in songs like "Make 'em laugh" - bouncing off the walls and tumbling through the air straight into my cold cold heart. Who else but a true scrungly lil guy would sit upon the witness stand and defend a talking mule with all the love and affection in the world - staring out into the court room with his bright wide eyes and eternally mouse-like expression, openly admitting that the mule is his best friend?!??! I see him and I want to pull him from the screen into my hand and just squiiiiiiiiiiiiish with all my might. I want to pinch his cheeks and have him bat those eyes at me. He just makes me go "eeehehehehehe" every time I see him and his silly little self. He is pure chaotic, ridiculous, scrungly perfection!

Rene Auberjonois (Brewster McCloud)—I feel like anyone who was in a Robert Altman movie should count as scrungly, and this guy was in many a Robert Altman movie.

This is round 2 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here. Reminder this is a poll about old films, not TV, and no TV based propaganda will be accepted.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Donald O'Connor:

My silliest little guy. My funnyman. My horsie. I have watched many a bad movie for this man. The scrungliest fact I know about him is that he was supposed to star as Danny Kaye's role in the iconic White Christmas (1954), as he had known Bing Crosby since he was a child, but couldn't because he caught a mule disease while working on those Francis the Talking Mule films Universal endlessly made him do. I wouldn't exactly recommend those movies, but Don's character getting psychologically tormented by a sardonic mule does make for quite a good movie night, if you know what you're getting into. Are You With It? is another one I don't exactly recommend, but it does open with Donald as a math genius actuary who is about to kill himself over a displaced decimal point before getting taken in by a traveling carny instead. His more well-known and beloved roles have plenty of scrungliness too, in my opinion. This man slapsticked so hard he wound up bedridden for his physical exertion! Rather than submitting Make 'Em Laugh, which the electorate has likely already seen (I hope), I'm submitting an underrated dance number of his, where he explains maths through tap dance. That movie is Not good, but god do I love him in that role.

I think it's arguably very scrungly to seemingly be a real life cartoon character made out of rubber, as proven by how slapsticky the list of scrunglies is so far. In which case, Donald O'Connor? He scrungles supremely. He even played Buster Keaton in a movie (that apparently can't be recommended, but still).

Rene Auberjonois:

[immeasurablesaladagere]

Team "In-Over-his-Head"

Series: A Wildcard is Active

-----

Word Count: 5275

Summery: Mumbo is saddled with wrangling two tiny teammates: a mischievous Grian and a bloodthirsty Skizz. When Skizz runs off by himself to get a kill, Grian is tasked with leading Mumbo on a wild goose chase to keep him distracted. It turns out to be more frustrating for Mumbo than Grian planned.

-----

“C’mon, Grian! My pal, my buddy, my amigo. Just one hint, just ooone little hint!”

Grian snickered as he ducked around Skizz. “Nope, not telling. You’ll find out soon enough.”

Skizz pouted. “I’m a red name, Grian, I need all the help you can give me.”

That was true, he did. Grian’s choice of ally ship, though he wouldn’t trade them for anyone else, were perhaps not the most invested in self preservation; but the integrity of the game would not be sacrificed just because Skizz and Mumbo gave him puppy eyes.

“And that’s why we ought to plan! Up to the meeting tower, come on.”

Grian grinned with bubbling anticipation as they scaled the bridges up to the precariously placed meeting tower and took their seats.

Mumbo chuckled at him. “You see? You’ve got that grin on your face that I don’t like. It makes me a bit nervous, I’ll be honest.”

He smiled wider. “What? I’m not grinning! I’m perfectly serious and focused on getting your lives back this session.” They would be doing nothing of the sort, he was absolutely certain. 

“Right, right. Game faces.” Skizz said, “I was thinking we get a hit on Gem or Joel, or maybe even…” He glanced over his shoulder for anyone who might’ve been listening. “Lizzie’s on the table, too. They’re all on six, it’ll be no skin off their nose, y’know?”

Mumbo scrunched up his nose. “I’m not so sure I want to tangle with Gem. That’s not how I’d like to go down to red, thanks.”

The two of them kept talking, mulling over various methods and targets, but Grian could only focus on the time. Five minutes till. Four. Three. Two.

Skizz poked him in the side of the head. “G? Are you even paying attention, dude? We need all hands on deck here!” 

He held up his communicator with a smile. “Just watching the time. Whatever happens, stay in your seat, grab onto something and don’t let go in five… four…”

“Woah, what— okay! Whatever you say!” Skizz grabbed onto the sides of his chair and Mumbo hastily followed.

“Three, two…” The colourful ellipses appeared in his minds eye, “One…”

A Wildcard is Active.

He fastened his communicator back on his hip and leaned back in his chair, watching as Mumbo and Skizz sat frozen, waiting for the other shoe to drop. After a long moment of silence, Skizz hesitantly relaxed and looked around.

“…You messin’ with us, G? ‘Cause nothing’s happening on my end.”

“You’ll see. Just give it a minute.” He pulled two blocks out of his inventory and placed them on either side of his chair for stability and rested his arms on them.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna go back down. Suddenly I don’t feel safe up here.” Skizz turned to walk back across the bridge to the mountain when Grian felt the buzzing in his chest. The first thought in his mind was oh dear, here we go, and the second was that he knew what was about to happen, and if they didn’t act now Skizz was about to be out of the series right then. 

He shot upright in his chair but stayed firmly put. “Mumbo! Mumbo grab him, grab him now!”

Mumbo scrambled to snag Skizz by the arm and yank him back to the platform just as the smoke appeared and he crumpled to the ground.

“Woah, G, what’s goin’ on, man!?” Skizz stared wide-eyed at his hands, which were giving off growing streams of purple smoke.

Mumbo wasn’t smoking, and Grian couldn’t help but start laughing even as his own body started to feel like jelly. “Oh Mumbo Jumbulio, you’re about to have a very fun session.”

“Wha— Grian you can’t just—!” Mumbo stammered, trying to hold Skizz upright, “What does that mean!? What’s going on?”

The purple smoke enveloped the platform, and he was out like a light. 

-

He was roused again from his brief nap by the sound of Mumbo’s panicked blubbering. He couldn’t quite bring himself to open his eyes right away, breathing deeply through the heavy drowsiness and fading buzzing under his skin. The sleepy feeling in his arms and legs was slowly starting to go away just like it had during the tests, and his body felt much lighter. So far so good, everything’s in order. His wings twitched experimentally, squished slightly by the back of the chair, and soft fledgling feathers tickled the back of his neck. Yep, definitely working.

“Grian, what on earth is this!?” Mumbo borderline squealed, and he finally blinked open his eyes. Mumbo’s face was white with shock and he was doing his best to cradle an equally bleary-looking and tiny Skizz in his arms. He was maybe five? Possibly four.

“You’re so loud…” He complained, “Jus’ gimme a minute to be sleepy.”

Mumbo spluttered. “No! I absolutely will not do that. Explain yourself right now!”

“You didn’t go through that transformation, I don’ wanna hear it.” He said calmly, pushing himself up from where he was slumped in the chair and stretching out his new body.

Skizz was more awake now, looking down at himself, then Mumbo, then Grian and back again, eyes growing as wide as dinner plates the longer he looked. “G, this is…”

“Terrible!” Mumbo exclaimed.

“Dope!” Skizz cheered, “D’you know how many kills I can get like this? I can fit into all sorts of little nooks and crannies, it’s like Sub-One Club all over again! Well, not you, Mumbo.”

“See? That’s the spirit.” Grian said, much to Mumbo’s befuddlement.

“I— You two— So, w-wait, how does this one work exactly?” Mumbo had the funniest look on his face as he tried to wrap his head around it all, and Grian giggled at him. Apparently Mumbo didn’t see the same humour in it as he did.

“Well, have a see!” He chirped, handing him a spyglass. Mumbo carefully let Skizz out of his arms, making an I’m watching you, stay right there gesture like he was a puppy before looking out over the server.

“Oh dear, oh my…” He turned back to them. “Does every team only have one adult? Is that it?”

“Eh, close enough. It’s random, so you’ve got a 50/50 chance of staying the same,” He pointed at Mumbo, “or being kiddy-fied. Skizz got real unlucky.”

Skizz scrunched up his face. “An’ why’s that now?”

“‘Cause you got real small. You can be a bigger kid or super tiny, and you got one of the tiniest.” He said matter-of-factly. Or, as much as he could. Even after doing a bunch of tests he could never get used to how silly his voice sounded in the kid form.

“Well, if I’m one of the tiniest, you gotta be, too!” Skizz pointed out, “You’re like the same as me!”

He was hoping to get away without anyone pointing that out, but alas. He knew from the moment he got his bearings that he had landed somewhere on the smaller end of the scale. He was hoping for bigger, but he could still cause plenty of mischief like this. “Yeah, but I’m just a smidge older, so I’m still better than you.”

“What!? You are not!”

“Am too, I tested it, remember? I’m seven, an’ you’re like five! I’m way bigger.”

“No you’re not.” Mumbo said, having finally at least slightly pulled himself together, and Grian pouted at him. Betrayal. “Mate, you’re six at most, maybe even five. Oh gods, you’re six, at most...” He muttered.

Grian patted him consolingly on the knee. “There there, Mumbo. An’ I’m not five! Avians are jus’ smaller bioj— bio— agh! Bi-o-lo-gi-cally.”

Mumbo dragged his hands down his face. “This is so strange… Right, so does that mean I’m like… Your parent or something? I don’t have to watch after you guys now, do I?”

Grian shrugged and hopped off his chair. “Not if you don’t want to. You’ll just be leaving two kids defenceless and all alone in the world, but I can’t force you to do anything.”

“Hey, I ain’t defenceless!” Skizz said, but Mumbo just shook his head.

“No, Grian’s right. I can’t- You two probably shouldn’t be left alone. Especially not Skizz, I mean— what if you die? I can’t have that on my shoulders.” He looked at them seriously, and Grian had to try his hardest not to snicker. “You know what? I’m gonna be the best darn parent on this server, just you watch. Come along now, it’s not safe up here.” He ushered them back over the bridge, pushing them as far into the safety of the middle as possible.

Skizz groaned. “Nice goin’ G.” He grumbled.

Grian just laughed.

-

“How am I s‘posed to get a kill with you hoverin’ over me?” Skizz complained, “No offence, but I gotta go this one alone.”

Mumbo waved him off, putting plates of toast and bacon down onto a makeshift table. “We can talk about that right after a bit of breakfast, how about that? We’ve got a lot more to think about than I thought this session.”

Grian grimaced at the bacon on his plate. Right. It had been an unfortunate few hours the day he had discovered during testing that indeed all of his biology returned to his child self after the transformation. Which meant regaining the digestive system of a young avian, which meant being unable to properly digest meat. He cringed at the memory of that tummy ache.

“What’s wrong, Grian?” Mumbo asked.

“I can’t eat the bacon ‘cause I’m a small bird now...” He said sadly, “Oh, that’s the worst thing about this whole wildcard.”

“More like the best! Yoink.” Skizz reached over and snatched the bacon off his plate and onto his own.

Mumbo frowned. “Oh. Do you want me to find you something else? Do you like… uh… seeds..?” 

The question was asked so hesitantly yet so genuinely that Grian had to pause for a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles. 

“L-Look, I don’t know, okay!?” 

“Ha ha ha— seeds! Seeds, Skizz! Hee-hee-hee!” It took him a solid minute to calm down, with the mental image of shoving a handful of straight wheat seeds into his mouth causing him to break down again every time he managed to get a grip.

Mumbo’s face was as red as an apple. “Yes, yes, I get it, no seeds. It’s really not that funny, is it?”

He wiped a tear from his eye and finally took a bite of his toast when he was sure he wouldn’t choke. “It really is… I’m just a veg-e-tar-ian, Mumbo, I’m not eating straight seeds.”

“Alright then, I’ll see if we have something else you can eat. You’re not going to be full on just toast.” He got up and began rooting around through their chests. Grian watched, thoroughly enjoying himself.

“He became a mum so fast, didn’t he?”

Skizz rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Listen, G,” He dropped to a whisper and Grian’s ears perked up. Whispers were the universal language of scheming. “I gotta get a kill and Mumbo’s never gonna let me go on my own. I need you to do something for me.”

“I’m listening…”

“I need you to keep ‘im distracted for me. Lead ‘im on a wild goose chase when he comes lookin’ for me, and don’t tell him where I’m goin’, got it?”

And oh boy did he like the sound of that idea. He looked over at Mumbo, who was still buried inside their chest monster, and nodded. “Now’s your chance to escape! Go, I won’t say a word.”

“You’re the best, G. I’ll be back with a green name.” Skizz hopped down from his chair and slunk away, making a shh gesture just before ducking out of sight and breaking into a sprint. Grian smirked to himself.

Mumbo returned to the table and Grian jolted back into a ‘I wasn’t doing anything suspicious’ pose. “So we didn’t have much. I’ve got you some carrots and glow berries, but— wait, where’s Skizz?”

Grian plucked the bundle of glowberries from Mumbo’s hand and popped one into his mouth.

“Grian? Where did Skizz go?”

He shrugged. It was technically the truth, he didn’t know where Skizz was planning to go.

Mumbo made an exasperated noise and ran his hand through his hair. “Already? I’ve lost one already! Grian, you must’ve seen which way he went. It’s not safe for him out there!”

“Mm, he went tha’ way, towards the Tuff Guys.” He lied through a mouthful of berries. He forgot how good these tasted. 

“Alright, well, you can eat these on the way. We’ve got to find him quickly, before he does something too rash. Oh who am I kidding? I’m sure he already has! Come on, up, up.”

“Can’t I just finish my breakfast?”

“Nope. Let’s go, show me exactly where he’s gone.”

-

Mumbo frowned. “And you’re absolutely certain he went this way?” 

“Mhm, definitely!”

Now, call him crazy, but Mumbo got the distinct feeling that Grian was perhaps lying to him. For being so certain that Skizz had run off to the Tuff Guys not long ago, their base was very obviously deserted. He knew this because Grian had insisted on searching the entire place from top to bottom, snooping behind every chest and scouring every nook and cranny that a five year old could possibly be hiding in. Now they were at Ren and Martyn’s base after Grian swore up and down that he saw a “very Skizz-shaped blob” running through the forest nearby.

“Ren, Martyn! Are you home?” Grian called. 

He had to admit, it was rather endearing to see Grian hopping about on his toes to get some height on the wall Mumbo was able to peer over with ease. Inside the walls he watched Ren haul Martyn up by the scruff of his shirt and away from where he had presumably been trying wrestling with their wolves just seconds before. As quickly as things had gone sideways with his adventure into parenthood, Mumbo supposed there were some small graces to be thankful for. Like not being forced to babysit Martyn.

“Ah, is that a little Grian I hear?” Ren said, “Hey, stop wiggling you— Come on in, dude!”

“Mumbo’s here, too!” Grian spun around and reached his arms up, making grabby hands at the air. “Gimme a boost.” 

Mumbo raised an eyebrow at him. He was most definitely capable of climbing up himself, but what could it hurt to humour him? “Uh huh. Is that we ask now?”

“Please.”

“Fine.” 

Grian’s little wings flapped as he hoisted him up and onto the wall, and Mumbo climbed over after him.

Ren flipped Martyn around so he was holding him like a bundle of planks under one arm and greeted them with a smile and a wave. “Good morning, Mumbo! What brings you two to our humble abode? I see you’re missing one, where did ol’ Skizzleman run off to?”

Mumbo watched as Martyn wriggled around uselessly in Ren’s grip. “Well, you see, that’s actually why we’re here. Skizz has run off by himself and we’re desperately trying to find him before he gets himself killed. Grian said he may have come by here, have you seen him?”

“Oh, I see. You’ve got a runaway, have you? Hey-!” Martyn started kicking, trying to clip Ren’s back with his shoes. “Fine, fine! You can go down. Go play with Grian or something, just no more wolf-wrestling!” 

Martyn turned to stick his tongue out at them as he and Grian ran off to their towers.

Ren sighed. “He really is a handful.”

Mumbo couldn’t agree more. “Don’t I know it. It’s not even been half a day!”

“So, like I was saying, I don’t think we’ve seen Skizzly around here. I could’ve missed him though, I’ve been trying to wrangle Martyn for the past hour. He’s just got so much energy.”

He chuckled. “I did see that. Was that what the wolf-wrestling was about?”

“I told him to find something to burn off some stink and apparently that translated into ‘go fight the dogs, Martyn!’. I swear, I don’t know if it’s a kid thing or just a Martyn thing.”

“Could be both, to be fair.”

Their chit chat was interrupted by a high-pitched whoop! from above their heads, and Mumbo watched in horror as Grian, lead tied around his waist, jumped from the balcony of Martyn’s sky base and dangled mid-air. Martyn sat crouched over the ledge, tying the other end of the rope to a fencepost in as many knots as possible with the most devious grin he had ever seen on a child.

Ren yelped. “Martyn!”

Mumbo felt faint. “Grian!”

Grian cheered as he swung himself back and forth, flapping his wings. “Look Mumbo, I’m flying! Wheeee!”

“Oh my gods, Grian, get down from there!” He almost couldn’t watch. At any moment the lead could slip off his tiny body or the rope would snap and Grian would plummet to his death.

“I can’t hear youuuu!”

“Martyn Littlewood you let Grian down from there this instant!” Ren shouted. Martyn looked conflicted for a moment, but Grian put a stop to that quickly.

“Never surr-en-der, Martyn! He’s not the boss of us!”

“Oh, we’ll see about that. I’m coming up there!” Ren marched over and began climbing the ladder, and then everyone was panicking.

“Uh, Grian? He might be the boss of us, what do I do!?” Martyn fretted. Where could Mumbo get some of those intimidation skills?

Grian flailed precariously and Mumbo flinched. “Uh— uh— I dunno! Wait, yes I do! Lemme down! Cut the lead!”

“What!?” Martyn and Mumbo yelled in unison.

“Martyn, don’t you dare!” Mumbo pointed as threateningly as he could from the ground. He couldn’t go up after them in case, admins forbid, Grian took a fall, so he could only watch.

Ren was closing in on them, and right as he got his head up the top of the ladder, Martyn made his decision and cut the rope. Mumbo’s stomach dropped.

“Mumbo, catch me!” 

And thank goodness, all of the reflexes Mumbo possessed in his entire body went into throwing down a bucket of water and diving into it to catch Grian just before he hit the ground. His suit was soaked through, his heart was beating like like a hummingbird, and he felt slightly dizzy, but Grian sat safely in his arms, barely a drop of water on him and cheering like he’d just had the time of his life.

“Yeah! Again, Mumbo, again!”

He let out a deep, shaky breath. “No. Never again. We’re leaving.” 

Grian flopped in his arms like a bag of sand. “Awwww…”

He looked up the tower, where Ren had a pouting Martyn by the shirt yet again. “Thank you for the information, Ren, but we’ll be on our way now.”

“Alright. Good luck, dude!”

He was certainly going to need it. 

From there, every single location Grian led them was turned out to be more chaos than the last. With each tizzy Grian got himself into, each hour of daylight wasted, the more frustrated Mumbo became. He was certain now that Grian was messing with him, leading him on some wild goose chase with no real end in mind. First it was dangling from Martyn’s tower; then it was letting out Gem and Joel’s farm animals where Mumbo not only had to deal with the squabbling of three children, but also put all of the animals back because he was the only one big enough to do so; then it was running off and playing hide-and-seek in a cave and forcing him to come find him; and then he tried to play chicken with the Four G’s explosive-trapped wheat fields. Now it was nearing evening, they had nearly toured half the server, and Skizz was nowhere to be seen. He had been kicked by a horse, shot by a skeleton twice in the caves, listened to tantrums, and nearly had at least three heart attacks. To say he was getting fed up would be an understatement.

And Grian appeared to be none the wiser to Mumbo’s irritation. In fact, he seemed hell-bent on making everything worse. It was obvious the wildcard was affecting Grian’s mind to an extent, but at this point he had to have known better. That was the most infuriating part of it all. He knew. 

Grian abruptly stopped walking in front of him and he bumped into him. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, I’m very fragile, y’know.” 

Mumbo clenched his jaw.

“Now that I think about it, I uh… I’m pretty sure I saw Skizz coming this way instead. Maybe BigB’s seen him.“

“And you’re sure? Because Grian, I’m going to be very upset if you’ve been lying to me this whole time and I’ve walked around the server for nothing.” 

Grian’s eyes flickered down to his communicator and back, then he flashed a big grin. “Yep!”

So into the dark oak forest they went. Even though it was pointless, Mumbo called out Skizz’s name as they walked to no response.

“Alright, Grian. I don’t know what-“ He turned around and Grian was nowhere to be seen. Again. “Oh for Pete’s sake! Grian, get back here!”

A familiar squeaky voice called back to him.

“Oh no! Zombies! Whatever shall I do!?”

He took a deep breath through his nose and stormed in the direction of Grian’s voice, sword drawn. Only when he found the clearing, there was just Grian, two zombie spawn eggs in his hands.

“Grian, don’t you dare—“

Two zombies were suddenly lunging at him, and while he was able to take them both down without much trouble, one did manage to get a hit on him. 

Grian giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world. “I got you!”

He was so distracted that he didn’t see the creeper crawling out of the brush towards him. Mumbo lurched forward and was just barely able to put his shield up in time to protect them from the blast. Grian stared at the creeper hole for a moment, eyes wide, and chuckled nervously.

“Heh, thanks for the save...”

Mumbo’s grip clenched around his shield. “Right, that’s enough of this forest.” He took Grian by the arm and half-dragged him back out into the open. Now, on top of everything, he was covered in dirt from head to toe.

Grian ruffled his feathers and brushed off the few specks of dirt he managed to get on him. “W-Well, Skizz clearly wasn’t in there. I think next—“

“No! No more, enough!”

Grian froze.

“What you don’t seem to understand is that I actually care about the wellbeing of this team! I’ve been trying to find Skizz to keep him safe, and instead I’ve been trying to save you from trying to kill yourself on purpose all day! Wasn’t it your idea in the first place for me to look after you!? What is it you want from me here, exactly?” 

And he got nothing. Grian didn’t have a single thing to say for himself.

“Forget it. We’re going home. Hopefully Skizz has found his way back, because I’m done for today. Let’s go.”

-

Grian’s eyes were glued to his shoes as they walked silently through the field.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to be causing harmless trouble and Mumbo was meant to be pulling his hair out like they always did, but now Mumbo was angry at him. Genuinely angry. The thought hurt more than it should have, and tears were burning in his eyes against his will. He tried to remind himself that it was just the wildcard talking. He wasn’t actually meant to be so upset about all this, but he was. He didn’t want Mumbo to be angry with him, he was just trying to have fun. He was just trying to help Skizz, but now he’d made Mumbo hate him.

He glanced up hesitantly. Mumbo’s back was to him, but he could still tell how angry he was. He could hear the slow, forced breaths he was taking, he could see the way his hands were clenched around his sword and shield, he could feel it. 

Mumbo’s angry with you. He’s so angry with you. Why didn’t you stop? Would Skizz have been mad at you if you stopped? Was someone going to be mad at you no matter what you did?

The more he thought, the harder it became to keep the tears in. His throat ached, his eyes hurt, and his nose was getting plugged. He didn’t want to sniffle in case Mumbo heard him, but it was getting hard to breathe.

Finally, without him really noticing when, they made it home. 

“I’m going to bed early tonight.” Mumbo said, not turning around, “Keep out of trouble, alright? If Skizz comes back… I don’t know, at this point. Tell him to go to bed.”

And he was about to leave. He was about to go to bed and spare Grian from the humiliation of crying in front of him, but then the pressure grew too much, and his throat hurt too badly, and he really couldn’t breathe. He sniffled, and Mumbo turned around.

“Grian? Are you… crying?”

No, go to bed please, please go away. “N-No. It’s jus’ the wildcard acting up, I’m not-“ His voice broke. “I-I’m not—“

Mumbo frowned, concerned because of course he was. “Why are you crying?”

There wasn’t a reason, not really. He’d gotten yelled at, rightfully so, and now his stupid brain was making him cry. But when he tried to say that, nothing came out. Everything he was feeling felt like it had been multiplied by a hundred, suffocating reasonable Adult Grian who would have just apologized and moved along.

He hiccuped and scrubbed at his eyes as hard as he could with his sleeves like he might be able to make Mumbo un-see. Go away tears, go away. “Thi-is is so st—stupid, m’sorry.”

Mumbo knelt down in front of him. He looked guilty, like he was the onewho had to be sorry for today. “Is it… because I snapped at you?” 

He couldn’t bring himself to nod, but his silence gave it away. Tears finally began to slip down his cheeks and shame joined the cloud of emotions swirling around in his head.He knew needed to calm down, apologize properly, his breath was too hiccup-y and his body felt like he was going to explode.

“Would, maybe…” Mumbo opened his arms, “Would a hug help?”

He swallowed. It would. It would help so much, but he didn’t move. Mumbo shouldn’t be comforting him when he was the one who was bad all day. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“Alright, well, my arms are getting tired now, so I’m just going to hug you, and you push me off if that’s not cool. How about that?” Mumbo wrapped his arms around him, and like a switch flipped Grian flung his arms around his neck, squeezing tight.

“M’sorry, m’really s-so—rry, I’m being dumb.”

“I don’t think you’re being dumb. You’re a kid— well, sort of, and being yelled at would freak everyone out. Even me, and I’m not in the body of a child.” He chuckled lightly, and why did Mumbo have to be so good at making him feel better? That wasn’t fair! He didn’t deserve it at all, he didn’t—

“What was that, Grian?”

“I-I said I don’ d-deserve this!” He cried, “I was bei-ng bad a-all day and now you’re tryin’ to make me feel better! T-That’s not how it’s s’posed to work! You’re s’posed to be mad at me!”

Was this a tantrum? Oh gods. He was trying to apologize and he was only making it worse.

Mumbo was quiet for a long moment, thinking probably. About what? How silly Grian was being? Or worse, about how he was pretending not to be angry for his sake?

“How about this,” He finally said, “You let me worry about what I should and shouldn’t be mad about, hm? And I’ve worried on it, and I say that I’m not angry anymore.”

No. That wasn’t what he wanted. Sure, a small part of him was cheering with joy that Mumbo wasn’t angry with him anymore, but the other part only got more upset. “O-Only ‘cause I’m crying…” He mumbled bitterly.

“Hey now, you’re not listening to me. I said I’m not angry anymore, I didn’t say why, did I?”

And no, Grian supposed he didn’t. He drew in his first proper breath in a while. “Then why aren’t you? ‘Cause you should be.”

Mumbo slowly eased them out of the hug and childishly, Grian wanted it back. “Well, because I’ve had time to calm down and think about it, just like you have.” Mumbo took a big deep breath, and motioned for him to do one too. “See? I also figured there was probably a reason you were acting that way. Am I right?”

Grian nodded. He supposed now was a good a time as any to give up the ghost. “Uhm… This morning, S-Skizz asked me to keep you busy s-so he could go get a kill in secret.” He admitted, “It wasn’t s’posed to go all day, but he never got a kill so I just kept going. I’m really sowwy, Mumbo.”

Wait.

Mumbo snorted, and Grian’s cheeks just about burst into flames. “Sorry! I meant sorry!” He hid his face in his hands, “Oh my gosh I hate this. Whose idea was this!?”

“Yours, mate.” Mumbo chuckled, standing and ruffling his hair. “Now come on, I wasn’t kidding about being knackered. It’s bedtime, for both of us.”

On cue, the ten minutes of crying finally settled over him, and he yawned. “Fine by me.” 

Instinctively he started following Mumbo up to the stair landing where he kept his bed, and the fact that he had his own across the chasm completely skipped his mind.

…Until Mumbo pointed it out. 

“Oh, coming to bed with me, are we?” 

Goodness gracious what was wrong with him? “R-Right! Sorry, heh, I’ll—“

“You can sleep here if you want. I’d say there’s enough room for two on this bed, with how tiny you are.”

“Well now, that’s just disre— dis- oh forget it. Mean.”

“Oh I know, I’m so cruel to you, Grian. Come on, hop up.” He held up the covers for Grian to climb underneath.

It was incredibly undignified, just how much he had to kick his feet and flap his wings to haul himself up onto the mattress, but he made it. He yawned again. Definitely time for bed.

Mumbo tucked them in soundly, and after one last quick check for mobs, laid down for the night.

“Goodnight, Grian.”

“G’night, Mumbo.”

-

Grian woke up what felt like only minutes later to the bed dipping. It was pitch black out, but the soft glow of Skizz’s halo lit up his face as he crawled up beside them. His eyes were still red.

“Mm... Skizz?”

“Hey G-man. Thanks for keepin’ Mumbo off my tail today. How’d it go?”

“All that, and you didn’t even get a kill?” He mumbled blearily, mostly to himself.

“Hey, rude. But listen, I have a plan, I just need some more time. D’ya think you can cover for me tomorr—“

Grian blinked at him once, twice, then rolled over and buried himself back under the blankets. “No way. Never again, Skizz. Never again.”

[curlygrant44]

The mention of later warms him, sends his brain buzzing with possibility and hope-

Which is yanked away just as quickly by the next thing Sunshine says.

Of course, it was stupid to think anyone would want something like that, especially when this is himself. He really is wrong for feeling like this, isn't he? Even if Jim and Mistake share something similar, no one else does with their own doubles. Shouldn't that be proof enough for him that this isn't right?

He pulls away, pasting on a polite smile. "I don't think I need to worry about something like the buddy system. It's not like we can be together every second of every day. Sooner or later Jim would...need to express his feelings about the matter. Keeping me away from him will only provoke him more. I can handle this."

Hopefully he doesn't need to say any more about that.

"If you're really worried about the matter, we could swap cockpit assignments. Put both Jimmys in one, and Sunshine and I in the other. The two of them could be kept under guard if need be. That way, we're not down any pilots. If we ever do manage to leave the anomaly, we'll all need to have safe ships, and preferably not be docked so much pay for delinquency that we end up bankrupt."

It's meant to sound lighthearted, but he can't quite manage it with the way his chest feels so cold and aches so much -- he should never have been so arrogant. Sunshine was just being kind.

So he'll return that kindness the right way.

As a friend, and nothing more.

@number-one-constellation-guide

Perri stares miserably at their can of soup. They fish through it with a spoon, but every time they think to try eating it, a wave of nausea hits her. After a while of just sitting there sadly he drops the spoon and looks up at Wolfrum. "Want mine? I can't eat." He mutters.

He can't stop thinking of Jimmy, of watching the life and air leave him so quickly. Silently, he's glad for this moment of respite. They haven't meaningfully spoken to each other since sitting down, aside from occasional questioning about the food. They'll need to talk soon, though.

After all, there's a corpse on the ship, and captains to question.

She sighs and pushes the can over to Wolfrum. "We'll need to find them soon, figure out what they knew, and we'll need to..." Dispose of the body. He can't finish the sentence; the words linger unsaid and he buries his face in his hands. "We'll need to finish here soon."

In such a centralised area of the ship, it's probably more likely that the captains find them rather than the other way around, but it doesn't matter. It's not like they know what happened, yet.

( @surprise-its-safety-violations @curlygrant44 @the-captain-of-the-tulpar )

[cryss-heart]

every time i start drawing aventurine with his sunglasses i feel the inexplicable pull to draw Dave Fucking Strider instead.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

All he knows is flirt with men and lie.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[triglycercule]

mtt playing poker but why would they bet with money thats soooo boring boo boo boo no they bet with increasingly worse and concerning things and its fun for some reason

oh theyd LOVE that shit istg. luck and bluff and tells and lies??? god who knows your own lies and deceit better than another version of yourself??? and yet picking up the other two's tells is oh so very hard because theyre not the same anymore than when they were all sans and sometimes they dont even know themselves so how could they pick up on a mirrored version's? it works out a lot more than they think

killer would have no disregard for what he bets. he plays unpredictably and sneakily. probably faking some emotion here and there to get the hasty (horror) confused and concerned about what he could do and then it turns out killer had a fucking ass hand yet he won??? BULLSHIT horror cries out!!!! but dust just picks up the cards on the ground and deals them again and they play another round. sometimes killer purposely loses. why? he dont know its just to throw a wild card into dust and horror's predictions and mayhaps for the reactions

dust is a dirty player he is a fucking CHEATER‼️‼️‼️ phantom paps are his eyes that he uses to spy on killer and horror's hands. would he need to even try anymore at that point when he could easily win every round? well yes because that wouldn't be a fun game and dust wants to have as much fun as he can in this game of lies. he pretends he doesn't know what horror and killer's hands are. they both know. theyre both more than aware of dust's cheating. and that's why their betting starts going against him specifically and then dust has to figure out how to bet them higher while also trying not to fuck himself over

horror's main thing is just to not get fucked over. goddamnit why did he agree to this he's not as open to getting hurt than dust or killer are!!! (but you still agreed anyways?) so he thinks he's the only one to have a real reason to win (because horror no wanna get hurty hurty owww owww painpainpain ouch!!!) maybe he gets too cocky and ends up betting too high because dust or killer had been losing and he wanted to take a chance. maybe that high bet was actually what got him to win?? it's all a game of chance of course and horror'll only show what he thinks after the round's done. when the cards are dealt and the stakes are up he'll just analyze the hell out of the two (don't YOU hate being analyzed??) and tap his fingers on the table over and over

their way of betting would be like: the winner gets to do whatever the other two said as their bets to the betters. like if dust loses and horror wins and he said he could get sucker punched horror is sucker punching the FUCK out of him. but these three argue they fight and bicker and throw gibes and taunts!!! how would they ever agree on what bets are higher and which are lower ⁉️⁉️⁉️ to horror a bet of saying that he'd have to eat something could be like straight hell to him but killer and dust could just put the argument that it doesn't REALLY mean that much (they know it does to horror) and then force him to bet higher because cmon coward you can do better than that!!! dont you want to get some sort of revenge on us if you lose a previous round and win this one??? and other forms of logic like that 4 dust and killer

killer starts off with an absurdly high bet (because he would) like getting to mess with his soul or something. is he sure that dust and horror have losing hands? he doesn't know. and because killer has no form of limit for himself and that's already a high bar to set for dust and horror to reach (if they don't have good hands i think they'd probably want killer to bet lower. but would they tell him??) so damn it horror has to pull out some bullshit fucking bet like he'll allow himself to get hunted down by the two with every trap he's ever set on a human in horrortale (sooo much more psychological thinking and trickery going on without betting money and instead scenarios its SO FUN). and then could dust fold? does phantom paps say he should? it depends on the cards dust has (and what if he doesn't believe paps based on his own assumptions? (paranoid bitch)) and if he can't fold he has to match the bet or go higher and then he comes up with some bogus situation like ok i'll let you guys dress me up in my human's clothes and throw me in an au and have to do what they did (and OH GOD what about if they make a bet that the other 2 wouldn't actually want to do if they win??? if killer won that round with that as dust's bet would he want someone to reenact something similar to what his own human did and have to watch??????)

oops they just got another new set of scars from last week's poker night and another layer of trauma but why the hell are they sitting down at the table again??? idk man i'm just the dealer here trying not to get killed