#is it a source of comfort?? teasing/edging? a tender loving moment? all answers are correct

[sambrosiac]

once again thinking about samdean cockwarming

[667-darkavenue]

alley cat - chapter eight.

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Alya/Ladybug

on ao3

Alya’s phone buzzed on her night stand.

cookies and video games?

I’ve got stuff to do tonight, next time!, Alya replied.

She set the phone down and clenched her eyes, fighting off waves of guilt. She needed Marinette right now, if she was being honest. But she wasn’t being honest, and wasn’t ready to look her best friend in the eye and keep lying to her about what was going on in Alya’s life.

The phone buzzed again.

ok! what about tomorrow?

Marinette had been persistent and aggressively caring while Alya avoided her the past couple of days. She could sense that something was wrong. It made Alya feel so much worse for hiding everything. She would feel betrayed if she were in Marinette’s place. She would be shattered by it. Alya sighed, chose to ignore the notification, and burrowed back under her bedcovers instead of replying. Marinette would understand. Or, at least, she wouldn’t judge. She had plenty of days where she fell off the grid with no explanation for Alya.

Alya pulled the sheets over her head. She couldn’t talk to her own best friend about why she was hurting. She couldn’t talk to Ladybug. She couldn’t talk to Plagg. She didn’t have anyone to reach out to about this.

Is this what it had been like for Adrien when she took his ring? Another pang of guilt rattled through her chest at the thought. No, it must have been far worse for him. She had only been Alley Cat for a short time. She had always known it wasn’t meant for her. She didn’t have it taken away.

Tap, tap, tap.

Something at her window stirred Alya out of the four-layer blanket burrito she’d been languishing at the center of all day. She rolled over to look at the source of the noise—And fell right out of bed. At least the burrito cushioned the fall.

She really should be used to seeing Ladybug by now. But no. Her presence electrified Alya every time.

Ladybug took their eye contact through the glass as an invitation to come in. She didn’t wait for Alya to throw the blankets off before opening the balcony door herself and taking a seat right there at the edge of Alya’s bed.

“Hey,” she said, and Alya didn’t know how to answer.

Ladybug was in her bedroom. On her bed. Just waltzed right in there like it was hers. Jesus Christ, she could see Alya’s expensive Ladybug figurine on the desk. It was right out there in the open.

If she saw it, she didn’t react. “How are your sisters?”

“They’re, uh, they’re watching a movie in the living room.” She sat up, clutching her blanket close and forcing her face to look unphased by this. “They’re good.”

Ladybug patted the empty space next to her on the mattress. “Are you good?”

Alya pulled herself back up to the bed. She crossed her arms, suddenly conscious of them and unsure where to put them. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Dunno. Things went pretty bad with the last akuma. Just wanted to check if you were shaken.”

Alya swallowed. She wanted to brush this off, but it was hard to lie to Ladybug too. “I’ve been shaken by akumas before.”

“Brave girl.” Ladybug stared at her for a moment with a strange little smile on her face.

Alya wished there was a way to reach up and brush out her bedhead without calling attention to it.

“You wanna patrol with me tonight?”

“Patrol what, exactly?”

“I’ll show you.”

Spending a night out with Ladybug, not fighting for their lives or chasing after attackers, just being with her for once like friends would, or like…

Alya’s pulse skipped at the thought. “Ladybug, I... can’t.”

A red gloved hand reached out to cup Alya’s cheek in her palm. “You don’t have to if it’s too soon. I get it.”

“You don’t...” Hazel eyes fell downward, unable to look Ladybug in the eye even as she leaned into her touch. “It’s that... I can’t do this with you anymore.”

“Alya.” Ladybug’s palm shifted to hold her chin and she leaned in slowly. She pressed a lingering, tender kiss on Alya’s cheek that stole her breath. “I don’t know where I’d be without you, y’know?”

Alya shook her head, so frustrated that she wanted to cry. “I’m just messing you up.”

Here was the love of her life, comforting her, holding her, speaking gently and kissing her face, and it hurt. Ladybug was giving Alya everything she’d ever wanted, right here, right now, but only after Alya had given away the only thing Ladybug wanted from her in return. She had let this go, given it back to Chat Noir.

“It isn’t you. How many times did you see me mess up on my own?”

“That was ages ago.”

“You’re my source, Alya,” she insisted. “Whenever I felt like I wasn’t strong enough, you were there—Cheering me and pushing me to do better. And I did it for you.”

“Me?” Alya arched a doubtful eyebrow over the frame of her glasses. “Not for Paris?”

“Nope. You.”

Wide hazel eyes searched Ladybug’s face for a teasing smile or a wink, but it was unbelievably earnest. She still held Alya’s face in her hand.

“I didn’t want the miraculous and Paris did not convince me I was worthy of defending it,” Ladybug added.

Alya wanted to kiss her so much it hurt. But it was too late. All evidence suggested Ladybug would never have told her this if she didn’t think Alya had a miraculous. Despite saying Alya had been important to her all along, she’d kept her distance before Alya took the ring.

“Would you ever tell me who you are when you’re not Ladybug?”

“You know I can’t.” Ladybug gave Alya’s bedhead a fond caress before standing up. “But I also can’t do this on my own. I need you.”

“You need a partner,” she corrected. “I wasn’t chosen for it. I just wanted it so badly, I—”

“If it were my choice, you would have these earrings. If I had to choose someone to give a miraculous to now, it would be you again,” Ladybug’s tone abruptly took on a desperate, pleading undertone. “Please… don’t give up now. You’re the only one I have. I trust you with everything.”

“You don’t trust me with just your first name.”

Ladybug pulled away. She had something on the tip of her tongue, Alya could see it. Whatever it was, she left without saying it.

An akuma struck the next day, and Alya couldn’t do anything about it. She could only hope Ladybug wouldn’t be on her own.

She went to the park and climbed up the neon green ladder to the playhouse she’d hidden in with Plagg the day she found him. She refreshed her news feed every few seconds, waiting for an update on the situation. Updates didn’t come frequently enough. It didn’t stop the compulsion to check for them nonstop.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and lit up with a call. The ID read 77-77-77-77-77. Her heart wouldn’t let her ignore it.

“Alya! I need you at Tour Montparnasse, there’s a guy who turned into a—”

She clenched her eyes shut and took in a sharp breath. “Ladybug, I told you that I can’t do that anymore.”

“Alya,” Ladybug said her name like she’d been hurt.

Shit, maybe she had.

Green eyes glared out the bedroom window. When Plagg was gone, he felt miserable not having anyone to speak to at home. Now that Plagg was here, Adrien didn’t know how to talk about the things he wanted to say. How all alone he was without him. How he’d felt so useless. So easily tossed aside by both his kwami and his partner.

Plagg would not even pretend he was glad to be back. He was quiet all day, he barely came out to eat.

“Is Alya really so much better?” Adrien couldn’t help grumbling. “I doubt you moped like this over being taken from me.”

“I’m not moping.” Plagg’s head poked out of his book bag. “I’m—I’m scared.”

The sincerity in his voice alone, not even bothering to wrap that up in a dry jab at Adrien, was enough to snap the boy out of his mood. Plagg really wasn’t being himself.

Adrien kneeled in front of his bag, deeply concerned. “Scared of what?”

“That you will return me to Master Fu.”

“Why would I give you back?”

“You can’t let Papillon see you as Chat Noir again. He will know where to come for you. I’m scared of that, too.”

“I can’t—?” If Adrien wasn’t already on his knees, he would have fallen to them now in devastation. “Then why did she give it back?”

“No idea. I’m as surprised as you.”

He stared down at his hands folded over his lap. At the ring finally around his finger again. Here he was with it finally back in his hands, and yet Adrien was still powerless.

“I did miss you,” Plagg confessed. “I tried to push her to involve you. I would have said something if you caught her alone.”

Adrien raised his eyes to meet the kwami’s gaze. “Claws out.”

Alya dragged her feet home from the playground when it got dark. No update on Ladybug for the past hour. She hit the bed face down, but didn’t get to lie there for a second. A frantic tap tap tap on glass jerked her attention to the balcony window.

Bright green eyes glowed in the night outside. Alya jumped out of bed and slammed her window open.

“What are you doing here?” She shouted to Chat Noir at the same time that he demanded, “Where have you been?”

“You need to be with Ladybug!” they snapped at each other in unison.

They blinked a few times, taken aback.

Then, Chat took off his ring. Alya had to bring a hand up to her face to shield her eyes from a burst of green light. So that’s what it looks like from the outside.

“There’s no time,” he said. “Someone has to have her back.”

She didn’t understand why he took her hand and slipped the ring on it. “Adrien, you could give it to anyone.”

“Yeah, and you’re the only one I know who cares about Ladybug as much as I do,” he insisted, rushed and impatient. He squeezed her hand. “Please, use it.”

Plagg hovered over his shoulder and echoed, “Paw-lease!”

A loud, unnatural sound cracked in the distance and all three of their heads turned in its direction. Neon blue lightning crackled across the clouds over Tour Montparnasse. Alya looked at Plagg and Adrien.

She let his hand go and mumbled, “Claws out,” in the most uncertain voice she’d ever used for those two words. Even so, it worked.

She leapt from her balcony, leaving Adrien behind.

She found Ladybug in a cyberpunk nightmare. An office floor with every computer screen lit up and strobing white. The akuma had the form of a giant, flat desktop monitor with dozens of cords whipping around it. Several were wrapped tight around Ladybug, constricting her arms and legs. Her face desperately thrashed from side to side, lit up blue by the screen’s glow, as the computer tried to grab at her earrings.

Fortunately, micro cables don’t make very good fingers. Trying to maneuver them into unclasping earrings from a struggling target took all of BlueScreen’s focus. Neither of them saw Alley Cat coming.

“Cataclysm!”

One swipe disintegrated half of the akuma’s cybertentacles. Ladybug fell to the floor and, when Alley Cat helped her up, her face couldn’t settle on being furious or relieved. Either way, it was an intense look that Alya burned beneath.

“I’m sorry. I’m here.”

“We need to break the connection somehow.” Ladybug only addressed the business at hand.

Alley Cat couldn’t tell if that was out of irritation or out of urgency. “The servers?”

They double-dutched their way out of the swirl of cables swinging at them as they ran down the halls, searching for the server room. Ladybug cast Lucky Charm to hopefully buy them some time before they both got grabbed and constricted. Alley Cat ran ahead and consequently missed seeing Ladybug do her thing, which was Alya’s favorite thing to see.

There’s something cathartic about smashing your staff into a server rack. Sparks of electricity and a little black butterfly burst out of the cracked casing. Alya’s transformation broke before Ladybug was done purifying it, but it didn’t matter. Nothing Ladybug hadn’t seen.

“Bye bye, petit papillon.”

Alya looked down at herself, a little self-conscious without the costume. Then, an embrace wrapped around her shoulders. Ladybug pulled away just enough to cup Alya’s face in both hands. Her eyes were so blue, and rimmed with a thin glimmer of tears. It was all Alya could focus on when they were this close.

“I meant it, Alya.”

For one heartstopping moment, Ladybug’s eyes fell closed and her lips parted and she—Alya would never know if she planned to lean in. Her earring chimed its alarm, startling both of them. Ladybug’s eyes burst open, wide and panicked now. Alya’s hand came up to cover hers, holding it against her cheek in a silent plead.

Ladybug’s eyebrows sank low—actually considering it? Alya could see her weighing it in her mind. The earring rang again and Ladybug dropped her hands from Alya’s face.

She stepped backwards, toward the exit. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

Alya had to take the train home.

She crept into her house, slow and quiet, in hopes that her sisters would already be asleep. It paid off. They were collapsed on the couch in a pile while Moana’s main menu music played on indefinite repeat. Alya left them there for the moment.

“Sh!” she reminded Plagg as he zipped out of her shirt pocket.

“Shhh,” he mimicked her just before he phased straight through the fridge door, rattling it gently.

She snuck to her room, hoping to get a quick Ladyblog update posted before the news was too stale. She had a reputation to uphold now more than ever.

She didn’t get around to that because she spotted Adrien still on her balcony. He sat on the floor with his knees against his chest and his back against the railings. He must have seen Alya moving in his periphery, because his head turned toward her as she opened the balcony door.

“You’re still here?”

“Um, I wanted to talk.” Sheepish, he rose to his feet.

“Did you want this back?” Alya took the ring off her finger.

“No, I don’t,” Adrien said, incredulous. He shoved his hands in his pockets to prove how much he didn’t want to take it back. Then his gaze flicked skyward in a little eyeroll and he licked his bottom lip in something like exasperation. “I mean, I do. I obviously wish I could. I’m pretty upset about this whole thing. But, well. It’s yours now.”

He sounded grudging, but earnest. Alya put the ring back on. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “C’est la vie. At least it was you.”

“Why’d you give it back?” “Why did you?”

Alya folded her arms across the railing, absently staring at the street below her room. “I told you why... I’d felt like an imposter from the beginning. I’m supposed to just record and report, I know that. Seeing you get hurt made it snap.”

Adrien laughed beneath his breath and hooked his elbows on the railing as his back leaned against it. “That must mean you’re doing it right. We both felt like pretenders at the start. Even Ladybug.”

Alya heard Ladybug’s voice in her mind saying, You’re my source.

She swallowed thickly. “Does the feeling go away?”

He pondered for a silent moment.

“I thought it must have been some mistake. Because I’ve never had a choice in anything. I didn’t even realize the moment I got the miraculous that I could take it or leave it, I was so used to just saying yes. Always yes. Having freedom—and anonymity—felt like something I’d stolen. Like I was never supposed to have either.”

A familiar guilt tugged at Alya’s heartstrings. If he didn’t have those things before being Chat Noir, he didn’t have them now.

“I didn’t have control over anything when I lost the ring,” Adrien confirmed. “Everything just moved on without any regard to me.”

“She misses you,” Alya offered. “So much.”

That made him smile. “Well, now I finally have a choice in the matter. And it’s you.”

Alya chewed her bottom lip. “Can you help me?”

“What? Of course. Anything.”

She let out a long sigh. Maybe with the real holder’s guidance she could be alright. They leaned into each other’s shoulder and Alya watched cars pass beneath them for a few minutes while Adrien gazed up at the crescent moon.

Eventually, he confessed, “So, part of the reason I waited here…”

Alya’s attention turned to him.

“My ankle’s still messed up. And there’s this huge gate around my house, you’ve seen it. And my window’s on the second floor…”

She laughed, light and vibrant into the night. “You need a ride?”

He smiled, too. “I needed Plagg to sneak out. Can’t sneak back without him.”

“Alright, yeah. He should be full by now.”

Alya went inside and Alley Cat came out. She wrapped an arm around Adrien’s waist and he looped both of his around her shoulders.

“Sooo, Ladybug misses me? What does she say about me?” he asked, in the tone of practiced small talk.

Alley Cat winked one golden eye. “I’ll only tell you if you tell me what she used to say about me.”

[667-darkavenue]

Alley Cat - Chapter 7.5 (mini-update)

I feel pretty bad about not having updated this fic in so long! Combination of focusing on my original writing and not being caught up with ML S2 and being consumed by Voltron, sorry. Take this mini-update. Here are the previous chapters on ao3, including beautiful cover art by @larvesta

Alya’s phone buzzed on her night stand.

cookies and video games?

I’ve got stuff to do tonight, next time!, Alya replied.

She set the phone down and clenched her eyes, fighting off waves of guilt. She needed Marinette right now, if she was being honest. But she wasn’t being honest, and that was the reason why she wasn’t ready to look her best friend in the eye and keep lying to her about what was going on in Alya’s life.

The phone buzzed again.

ok! what about tomorrow?

Marinette had been persistent and aggressively caring while Alya avoided her the past couple of days. She could sense that something was wrong. It made Alya feel so much worse for hiding everything. She would feel betrayed if she were in Marinette’s place. She would be shattered by it. Alya sighed, chose to ignore the notification, and burrowed back under her bedcovers instead of replying. Marinette would understand. Or, at least, she wouldn’t judge. She had plenty of days where she fell off the grid with no explanation for Alya.

Nothing had ever felt so lonely. She couldn’t talk to her own best friend about why she was hurting. She couldn’t talk to Ladybug. She couldn’t talk to Plagg. She didn’t have anyone to reach out to about this.

Is this what it had been like for Adrien when she took his ring? Another pang of guilt rattled through her chest at the thought. No, it must have been far worse for Adrien. She had only been Alley Cat for a short time. She had always known it wasn’t meant for her. She didn’t have it taken away.

Tap, tap, tap.

The sound of something at her window stirred Alya out of the four-layer blanket burrito she’d been languishing at the center of all day. She rolled over in bed to look at the source of the noise—And fell right out of bed. At least the burrito cushioned the fall.

She really should be used to seeing Ladybug by now. But no. Alya’s heartstrings still twisted at each sight of her.

Ladybug took their eye contact through the glass as an invitation to come in. She didn’t wait for Alya to throw the blankets off before opening the balcony door herself and taking a seat right there at the edge of Alya’s bed.

“Hey,” she said, and Alya didn’t know how to answer.

Ladybug was in her bedroom. On her bed. Just waltzed right in there like it was hers. Jesus Christ, she could see Alya’s expensive Ladybug figurine on the desk. It was right out there in the open.

If she saw it, she didn’t react. “How are your sisters?”

“They’re, uh, they’re watching a movie in the living room.” She sat up, clutching her blanket close and forcing her face to look unphased by this. “They’re good.”

Ladybug patted the empty space next to her on the mattress. “Are you good?”

Alya pulled herself back up to the bed. She crossed her arms, suddenly conscious of them and unsure where to put them. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Don’t know. Things went pretty bad with the last akuma. Just wanted to check if you were shaken.”

Alya swallowed. She wanted to brush this off, but it was hard to lie to Ladybug too. “I’ve been shaken by akumas before.”

“Brave girl.” Ladybug stared at Alya for a moment with a strange little smile on her face.

Alya burned beneath the gaze, wishing there was a way to reach up and brush out her bedhead without calling attention to it.

“You wanna patrol with me tonight?”

“Patrol what, exactly?”

“I’ll show you.”

Spending a night out with Ladybug, not fighting for their lives or chasing after attackers, just being with her for once like friends would, or like…

Alya’s pulse skipped at the thought. “Ladybug, I... can’t.”

A red gloved hand reached out to cup Alya’s cheek in her palm. “You don’t have to if you’re still shaken. I get it.”

That was all it took. One touch from Ladybug and Alya was ready to go to battle with her. But the things Alya wanted weren’t meant for her.

“No, you don’t.” Hazel eyes fell downward, unable to look Ladybug in the eye even as she leaned into her touch. “It’s that I can’t do this with you anymore.”

“Alya…” Ladybug’s palm shifted to hold her chin and she leaned in slowly. She pressed a lingering, tender kiss on Alya’s cheek. “I don’t know where I’d be without you, y’know?”

“I’m just messing you up.” Alya shook her head, so frustrated she wanted to cry.

Here was the love of her life, comforting her, holding her, speaking gently and kissing her face, and it hurt. Ladybug was giving Alya everything she’d ever wanted, right here, right now, but only after Alya had given away the only thing Ladybug wanted from her in return.

“It isn’t you. How many times did you see me mess up on my own?”

“That was ages ago.”

“You’re my source, Alya,” Ladybug insisted. “Whenever I felt like I wasn’t strong enough, you were there—Cheering me and pushing me to do better. And I did it for you.”

“Me?” Alya rolled her eyes. “Not for Paris?”

“Nope. You.”

Wide hazel eyes searched Ladybug’s face for a teasing smile or a wink, but it was unbelievably earnest.

“I didn’t want the miraculous and Paris did not convince me I was worthy of defending it,” she added.

This was miserable. Alya wanted to kiss her so much it hurt. But it was too late. Ladybug would never have told her this if she didn’t think Alya had a miraculous. Despite saying Alya had been important to her all along, she’d kept her distance before Alya took the ring.

“Would you ever tell me who you are when you’re not Ladybug?”

“You know I can’t.” Ladybug gave Alya’s bedhead a fond caress before standing up. “But I also can’t do this on my own. I need you.”

“You need a partner,” she corrected. “I wasn’t chosen for it. I just wanted it so badly, I—”

“If it were my choice, you would have these earrings. If I had to choose someone to give a miraculous to now, it would be you again,” Ladybug’s tone abruptly took on a desperate, pleading undertone. “Please… don’t give up now. You’re the only one I have. I trust you with everything.”

“You don’t trust me to know your first name,” Alya snapped.

Ladybug pulled away. She had something on the tip of her tongue, Alya could see it. But whatever it was, she left without saying it.

An akuma struck the next day, and Alya couldn’t do anything about it. She could only hope Ladybug wouldn’t be on her own.

She went to the park and climbed up the neon green ladder to the playhouse she’d hidden in with Plagg the day she found him. She refreshed her news feed every few seconds, waiting for an update on the situation. Updates didn’t come fast enough. Maybe one every fifteen minutes. It didn’t stop the compulsion to check for them nonstop.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and lit up with a call. The ID read 77-77-77-77-77. Her heart wouldn’t let her ignore it.

“Alya! I need you at Tour Montparnasse, there’s a kid who turned into a—”

She clenched her eyes shut and took in a sharp breath. “Ladybug, I told you that I can’t do that anymore.”

“Alya,” Ladybug said her name like she’d been hurt.

Shit, maybe she had.

Green eyes glared out the bedroom window. When Plagg was gone, he felt miserable not having anyone to speak to at home. Now that Plagg was here, Adrien didn’t know how to talk about the things he wanted to say. How all alone he was without him. How he’d felt so useless. So easily tossed aside by both his kwami and his partner.

Plagg would not even pretend he was happy to be back. He was quiet all day, he barely came out to eat.

“Is Alya really so much better?” Adrien couldn’t help grumbling. “I doubt you moped like this over being taken from me.”

“I’m not moping.” Plagg’s head poked out of his book bag. “I’m—I’m scared.”

The sincerity in Plagg’s voice alone, not even bothering to wrap that up in a dry jab at Adrien, was enough to snap the boy out of his mood. The kwami really wasn’t being himself.

Adrien kneeled in front of his bag, deeply concerned. “Scared of what?”

“That you will return me to Master Fu.”

“Why would I give you back?”

“You can’t let Papillon see you as Chat Noir again. He will know where to come for you. I’m scared of that, too.”

“I can’t—?” If Adrien wasn’t already on his knees, he would have fallen to them now in devastation. “Then why did she give it back?”

“No idea. I’m as surprised as you.”

He stared down at his hands folded over his lap. At the ring finally around his finger again. He thought he was powerless without it. Now, here he was with it back in his hands, and didn’t feel any less futile.

“I did miss you,” Plagg confessed. “I tried to push her to involve you. I would have said something if you caught her alone.”

“Plagg…” Adrien raised his eyes to meet the kwami’s gaze. “Claws out.”