#is held together by bubble gum and delusion

[babyspacebatclone]

I blame human joints.

I actually have a point.

The human body’s ability to heal is, as previously noted in the development of the “Space Orc” designation, very terrifying. Injuries that would leave other Terran species waiting for death we just persevere through. Coupled with the human instinct to care for and support injured clan-mates during recovery?

Humans can, and do, spend a lot of our time getting on with our lives at sub-optimal functioning but with minimal efficiency loss.

For me, a lot of it is my ankles and other joints. A small twist? Opps, gotta limp for a bit, don’t worry it’s not swollen I’ll be fine trust me I know when I’ve actually reached “sprained.” Got my soft brace in my bag!

We’re trained from literally learning to walk that sometimes, things don’t work, try again! ok good news this is good enough!

Our existence is ambiguity; it’s no wonder we’re willing to set a relatively low bar for “functioning” for our technology

Humans tolerate a much greater amount of ambiguity in their technology than the other sapients. Take their computers for example. They are a class above everyone else's. They're smaller, faster, less expensive and can do more.

But, they crash. A lot. Leave it to the Humans to just accept a machine that will stop working "every once in a while."

Human: "Oh shoot"

Alien: "What?"

Human: "My phone crashed. Gotta reboot it, one sec"

Alien: "Your computer...crashed?"

Human: "Yeah, stopped working. Something went wrong with the computer inside and it just doesn't work. Once I turn it off and turn it back on it'll be fine"

Alien: "But, the computers in your other stuff are more robust right? They don't...do that?"

Human: "Hell yes they do. Let me tell you about the time I had to reboot my coffee maker so it would work again!"

Alien: "..."

Human: "Oh yeah, once the computer in my car crashed. Wouldn't display anything at all. That was a hairy ride!"

Alien: *unconsciously takes a step back*

Human: "Also! So when the first humans went to our moon, the onboard computer kept crashing. They had to land manually because the computer - when it worked - was trying to land them on jagged rocks! They all nearly died!"

Alien: "You do realize the other races' computers don't do that, right?"

Human: "But ours are faster"

[minah-delacroix]

Cherries and confessions

Minah Delacroix - Paris, France 

Summer of 2015

The world of Minah Delacroix had been nothing but glamour and fancy soirées for as long as her memory allowed her to remember. For the young girl, watching men in tailored suits and women in couture dresses flock her family’s residence to swoon over her grandmother’s latest fashion event or to discuss politics with her grandfather, was a daily life occurrence.  Aged fifteen, Minah was regarded  -not without a certain degree of envy- as the perfect heiress for the Delacroix family. Among the exclusive circle of French ruling class, many wished their children had grown up to become such perfect prospects. And just as many couldn’t wait to be spectators of yet another high-society tragedy, when -and if- Minah happened to fall from grace after becoming one of those horrible teenagers who stumbled drunk at parties or liked to get experimental with forbidden potions.

That’s why la crème de la crème of French wizarding society had gathered that evening so willingly at the Delacroix Manor for ‘Le Bal Rosé’, an old-fashioned tradition the Delacroix family had kept for centuries to introduce the young women of the household to society. Minah had described the event, to her friends, as a celebration as equal parts wedding feast, prom, and cotillon where she would officially be presented to the French haut societé, just so her family could reaffirm their social superiority and prove that despite it all, the Delacroix attracted substantial public attention and its rituals continued to command near-universal respect. However, not everybody was there to show their respect to the family, some only wanted to criticize the lavishness of the event, the choice of flowers decorating the ballroom, or the dress pick of the young heiress.

It was not a shocker that the only grandchild of Duc Louis Pierre Philippe Delacroix, one of the richest men in Europe, excited as much admiration as it provoked resentment. Everything about Minah was graceful and delicate. Her every movement was elegant, her words rolled off her tongue with effortless eloquence and her beauty was unique and -as her aunts’ friends put it- ‘exotique’. Elizabeth Delacroix’s delicate fairness and Junho Kwon’s striking facial features had combined to create a peculiar beauty in Minah. She was slender, with long legs and beautiful eyes; her face was finely chiseled, her skin pale and her hair a unique shade of chestnut.  Minah was by any means, the perfect heiress for a household as honorable and prestigious as the Delacroix and so, everybody expected to see her reputation tarnished with one of those shameful scandals that made it to the headlines of heinous tabloids. People like the Oliviers, a wizarding family with delusions of grandeur and an openly recognized dislike for the Delacroix were sure it was only a matter of time before Minah’s image (along with her family’s prestige) crumbled, bringing shame and dishonor to her household.

However, in the modern world that most “mythological mummies” (like Johannes Casablancas called anyone older than thirty) didn’t understand just yet, falling victim of a real scandal took more than just a casual hook-up or a crazy party night. Kids those days were far ahead of their clumsy parents and above those ridiculous life-shattering scandals that seemed to have been pretty common in the past.

“Teen pregnancies are for dummies and uneducated Americans” Jane Durand scoffed as she put away the latest issue of “Witch Cosmo” with a disgusted face. The girl had been lying on the carpeted floor of Minah’s study room for solid twenty minutes, kicking her legs up in the air as she chewed a strawberry flavored bubble gum whose scent now lingered in the air mixed with the fragrance of the freshly cropped lilies Julien had gifted Minah and the seawater smell of his perfume. “What can’t adults understand about protection and contraceptives?” She inquired, glaring at the magazine open to an article titled ‘Why abstinence is the right choice for young witches?’

Her comment made Antoine de Lapin, her best “guy friend” blush like the inexperienced teenager he could’ve been if it wasn’t for Jane’s willingness to teach him one or two -or dozens- things about women. Sitting on the desk, he fidgeted nervously with the silver wristband Minah had gotten him for his birthday a few weeks ago and avoided looking at Jane or Julien, who was clicking his tongue at the blonde’s rambling.

“Don’t tell Minah her aunt gave us that magazine or she’ll avoid us for the rest of the summer out of pure embarrassment” Julien warned, although he didn’t really believe his friend could keep her mouth shut about Minah’s grandaunt, Adelaine, trying to give them ‘the talk’.

“You aren’t worried she might feel strongly inclined to follow that advice, right?” Jane retorted, eyeing the open magazine once again, this time with a huge smirk crossing her lips.

Before Julien managed to scold Jane for even suggesting his words held anything other than sincere preoccupation for their friend, there was a loud thud. The three friends immediately turned their heads to find Johannes Casablancas lying on the floor, eyes narrowing in pain after failing to properly climb the last step into the room, through the open window, and landing on his bum.

“Ugh. I did not need that mental image” The guy skipped any greeting and frowned, turning to give Jane a severe-looking glare. Johannes Casablancas was the eldest of the bunch and by far the most judgmental, although Jane liked to point out, whenever the opportunity arose, that he was also the most experienced and a hypocrite.

“Why? Does the image of Julien wanting to-” Jane made a popping sound with the gum in her mouth “-Minah’s cherry disgusts you?”

In unison, the three boys turned to look at Jane. A mixture of reproach and disgust replacing their usually undisturbed demeanors. Johannes scrunched up his nose and Antoine looked frankly scandalized, but Julien’s face twisted into a grimace that made him look as though he had just been forced to swallow a lemon whole.  If anything, Jane had always believed Julien’s problem was how much of a prude he was. Otherwise, he would’ve probably been dating Minah for months and her best friend wouldn’t have to make all those questions she had been asking lately about her virginity-loss experience.

“Ugh. How charming, Jane!” Johannes snorted “Where did you pick those euphemisms fr-?”

“How can you even say that, Jane? It’s our best friend you’re talking about, not some fictional character from those books you read!” Jane chuckled at that, frankly unbothered by the way Julien’s voice went up “Don’t ever repeat that again, especially not in front of Minah.”  As complacent and forgiving he usually was with the blonde’s slips of the tongue, Julien looked truly offended this time. The way his jaw locked and his eyebrows furrowed only proved Jane she had really crossed the limit of what he could bear.

An odd feeling of pride filled up Jane’s chest as she rolled eyes at the boy. Then, a brief, but uncomfortable silence settled over the room.

It was brief because a few seconds later the door flung open and Minah Delacroix materialized into the room, cheeks flushed pink and panting as though she had just crossed the finish line of a marathon.

“What happened?” She inquired, looking perturbed by the obviously charged atmosphere. Julien made an attempt to smile at her, but he was interrupted by Jane.

“Nothing, just Julien being a pru-“

“What’s that?” Thankfully for everybody, Antoine de Lapin was tactful enough to stop Jane from splurging her nonsensical comments. Instead, he pointed at the package Minah was holding with force against her chest.

“Oh, this…” There was a moment’s worth of hesitation from her part. “Uhh… This… Nothing!” Minah stuttered, hiding the package behind her back. “Just one of those gifts from my grandparent’s business partners”, she said once she managed to pull herself together.

“Wrapped in a paper from the Owl Post Office?” Johannes asked from behind her, forcing the young heiress to turn on her heel, slightly startled at his unannounced presence and even more unwanted question.

“No-“ Minah shook her head. She didn’t look very amused about Johannes almost causing her a cardiac arrest. “When did you even get here? In fact, why did you come this late, the party is almost over.“ She complained, anger progressively replacing her shock.

“I think that’s exactly why he came” Antoine enlightened, a soft laugh accompanying his words as Johannes gave a confirmation in the form of an energetic nod.

Minah turned to look at the oldest of her friends and her gaze traveled meticulously up and down as if to take in the full scale of Johannes’ appearance. Bulky leather jacket, dark jeans and scuffed leather boots, everything about his outfit seemed out of place in that room and the whole Delacroix Manor. Minah was almost relieved he hadn’t shown up earlier, otherwise, Aunt Adelaine would’ve gone through a second near-death experience in less than a day. The first one being Minah’s choice of dress. A long, but almost transparent Dior gown with a daring low cut that revealed the creamy milk of her skin nearly down to her navel and allowed her to show off her long and toned legs.

“Well, at least you didn’t ditch us for the next girl in your list” Minah let her guard down and sighed resigned, plopping onto the sofa Louis XV, a family relic.

“So while you were gone, we were planning our next night adventure-“ before Minah could react, Jane snatched the mail package resting on her lap “Aha!” She looked triumphant as she read the name written on the box. “Lee Sungjae!” She said out loud, ecstatic as if catching one of Minah’s lies merited her a Medal of Honor.

“Who’s that?” Julien wished his words had not come out as reproachful as they did, but he had already jumped to his feet and strode toward Jane to see the name with his own eyes.

“He’s just a friend,” Minah said wearily.

“I had no idea you had friends outside us four” Johannes also joined Jane and Julien on the task of inspecting Minah’s mail. “Oh… nice handwriting, it seems like he put a lot of effort-“

“Oh, come on, give it back!” Minah protested, jumping to her feet.

“How come we’ve never heard of this Sungjae?” Julien asked trying to sound as casual as ever. It made Jane chuckle, but Minah was too flustered to notice.

“He’s a friend from England. Goes to Hogwarts.” She explained, snatching the package from Johannes’ hands.

“Oh… a Brit…” Julien wrinkled his nose in disapproval.

“So why is this Sungjae owling you? Good news? Is he probably coming to visit this summer?” Jane asked question after question, earning herself a glare. “Oh, mon Dieu! Minah, is that why you’ve been asking me about how I lost-“

“Jane!” Minah gasped scandalized, raising her voice a bit too high for what it was considered appropriate and ladylike in the Delacroix Manor. Everybody flinched, half out of surprise and half out of the sheer volume at which she had screamed. It was almost a miracle Aunt Adelaine had not appeared in the room to scold Minah for her inobservance of social protocols.

“But-“

“No.” Minah cut her off “Sungjae is just a good friend, I asked him to send me a book I couldn’t find here and he was kind enough to do it. That’s it. That’s the story!” She picked the package and shoved into the first drawer of her desk. “Now, let’s get going before I regret it”

There was an evident contrast between the old-world elegance and luxury of the Delacroix Manor, its museum-worthy objects and the impassible facade of its residents, and the rawness, avant-garde atmosphere of Piscine Molitor, its concrete walls and the group of loud teenagers breaking In at night. Minah decided that after a long day of forced smiles and rehearsed greetings, she liked the latter best. Especially when Julien was included in the whole package; especially when times like those seemed to be about to slip through her fingers.

Despite the stress, the heartbreak and the uncertainty of the past days, Minah suddenly felt submerged in a perfect state of peace and relaxation. The soft nocturnal breeze had stilled and the moon hung bright over her head as the latest track Antoine had composed for the guys’ band played in the background. Minah had slipped into a modest jumpsuit that didn’t show as nearly much skin as her ball dress and was lounging on the chairs with a plastic cup of something that tasted like ten percent spirited water and ninety percent ethanol. At her right, Julien dressed in a pair of shorts and a simple sleeveless tee smoked a cigarette as though it was a heavenly experience, his lips sexily parted in a silent gasp as he released the smoke from his mouth. At her left, Johannes —still sporting his leather jacket—, chanted the lyrics of their unreleased song, high on his drug choice of the week. Jane was off somewhere, probably corrupting the morals of the only decent teenage boy she knew and Antoine… well, everybody knew Antoine was that boy.

“Were you talking to him the other day?” Julien’s voice suddenly interrupted Minah’s silent musings. There was evident confusion in her face, so he quickly clarified “The Brit… At my house, when you were whispering on the phone… were you talking to him?”

The young girl didn’t understand whatever Julien meant by that, but once she processed his words, her heart seemed to stop violently for a second.

“No, I was talking to someone else” The memory was still fresh in Minah’s head. It was her mother, but Julien didn’t need to know that because her mother worrying about her was a rare happenstance and it only led to more questions. Questions Minah didn’t want to answer at that moment. “No, it was someone else,” she said.

“I thought you said it was a friend”

Minah took a sip of whatever Johannes had brewed in the plastic cup. “Do we really need to talk about that?” She said dismissively, “You’ve never really been interested in my social life outside you four”

“That’s because we had no idea you had a social life outside us four” Johannes chimed in, before jumping to his feet and claiming he would look for Antoine, who had confiscated whatever muggle substance he had been getting high on.

Minah rolled eyes at her friend’s blatant lie.

“A someone, no gender, just someone?” Julien wasn’t usually so insistent, so Minah let out a frustrated sigh involuntarily.

“Yes, just someone I don’t see often and was delivering some news. Nothing important”

“A friend who lives abroad? Someone from our childhood? Do I know them?”

Minah had never thought a conversation with Julien Toubeau could ever become so unnerving, so she took yet another sip of Johannes’ cheap alcohol and rolled eyes. “Merlin, you’re not going to stop, are you? Seriously Julien, you four know everything you need to know.” ‘At least for now’ a voice spoke inside Minah’s mind. “So stop stressing and let’s better plan our trip to Montenegro. I’m seriously dying to see the Venetian Forts and-“

“I feel you’re hiding something from us” Julien almost sounded angry. “And you’ve never hidden anything from me” He added solemnly. Then he stood up, stripped his shirt off, tossed it on the chair and jumped into the water as if to avoid dwelling on the same topic (which he would have done, had not been for his dignified sense of pride).

Standing by the pool, Minah gulped down the content of the plastic cup as she concluded that Julien Toubeau wasn’t angry. He was disappointed. And somehow that was even worse.

It was past midnight when Jane and Antoine reappeared trying a bit too hard to look casual. Minah and Johannes, who had been sitting by the edge of the pool, drinking the remaining of the unlabeled bottle he had stolen from his father’s bar, only exchanged knowing glances and quietly went back to munch from the platter of red fruits and macarons that Minah had summoned from the Delacroix Manor —leftovers from ‘Le Bal Rosé’, probably—.

“What’s with this mood?” Jane complained with a frown. The set of French muggle music playing in the background could barely be heard over the water splashing sound of Julien swimming his nth lap of the night. “And why is Julien acting as though he’s training for the Olympics?” She inquired with a darting accusatory glance at Minah’s direction.

“He’s just working out” Johannes shrugged nonchalantly. “You know Julien and his quirks”

No one bought that lame explanation, but Jane was particularly convinced that Julien didn’t really enjoy the nocturnal workout. The girl had the strong feeling that her friend was just avoiding Minah for some reason she was yet to know. And she wasn’t mistaken.

In fact, Julien Toubeau didn’t have any intention to talk to Minah for the rest of the night, so he thought it was more convenient to stay in the pool and save himself some pain and humiliation. However, the second he spotted Jane, Julien climbed out of the pool and joined his friends on the uncomfortable task of sitting in silence, which somehow resulted ironic if you considered the animated music playing from Minah’s phone. Antoine knew that Julien was just worried about Jane having another slip of the tongue, so he was closely keeping an eye on her, but he still laughed at the way Julien’s eyes widened when Jane opened her mouth to say something.  

“I’m getting bored here, let’s play truth or dare!” Jane proposed, ignoring the way Johannes’ nose crinkled in disgust.

“Hell no!” Minah jumped on her place, almost surprised her eardrum had not exploited at Johannes’ strident refusal. “Oh, no, no, no” He yelled again right into her ear. “I’m not gonna sit here for an hour while you make out with Antoine and Jules and Minah play coy. I’m out of it” The guy stood up and sat at the nearest chair. Jane pointed out the hypocrisy of his actions because he didn’t want to play, but he refused to leave and apparently he wasn’t against the idea of watching his friends make out.

“Voyeurism” Jane concluded, shaking her head reprovingly.

If she hadn’t been so high in alcohol, Minah would’ve probably recognized Jane’s proposal as the horrible idea it was, but she stayed on the same spot and picked one of the cherries from the platter of fruit, popping it into her mouth in a way that made Julien blush when he recalled his conversation with Jane earlier that day.

“I guess I’m in,” Julien said with pretended nonchalance, which seemed unnecessary since Jane had already caught him gulping nervously.

Ten minutes into the game and Antoine had already ended up confessing he sneaked out with Jane every night of full moon to stargaze, but everybody understood that was a euphemism for fucking under the stars; Julien admitted to using a little bit too much of his perfume when he wanted to make an impression which, Johannes pointed out, had definitely been the case earlier at ‘Le Bal Rosé’; and Minah was challenged to feed Antoine strawberries mouth-to-mouth. Naturally that last part had been an idea from Jane to get on Julien’s nerves and to continue working on Antoine’s confidence, but Minah had shrugged nonchalantly, lifting a strawberry from the bowl and putting it on the tip of her lips before leaning in so Antoine would bite down on it. The juice of the fruit dribbled over their mouths and before Antoine could realize the magnitude of the act, they had delved into a hungry kiss. The kiss could’ve as well lasted a minute or an hour, but when Antoine pulled away Minah noticed with fainting sensation that Julien was on his feet and before she could register he was moving, he had already turned on his heel and left fuming.

Minah found Julien hiding in the dimly illuminated comfort of the locker rooms. He already had a half-hearted insult cresting on the tip of his tongue by the time the young heiress slid on the spot beside him. Of course, he had been expecting to see Antoine or Jane, so his mouth went dry at the sight of Minah.

“Jules” The girl called softly, pronouncing that endearment name she had given him when they were nothing but kids. “What happened out there?” Minah inquired, watching him intently as Julien apparently collected his thoughts. He had known Minah for as long as he could remember and he had never succeeded at staying mad at her for too long, especially when she pronounced THE question he knew she was about to ask. “Are you mad at me?”

Julien felt an icy chill run down his spine as Minah’s gaze fixed on his face. She was looking at him expectantly with those beautiful eyes of her, blinking at his every slight move until he mutedly said “no” and buried his face in his hands.

“Jules…” Minah softly pulled at the sleeve of his t-shirt, forcing the boy to look at her “Why did you run away? You still believe I’m lying to you?”

Julien shook his head

“Then…” If Minah had been better at picking signs, she would’ve stopped asking questions right then, but growing up with Jane Durand had not been a particularly good lesson on subtlety. Minah tilted her head and placed her hands on each side of Julien’s face.

“I am jealous, Minah. That’s it!” Julien pulled her hands away from his face and before she could muster a complaint, he blurted “It was me who you should have been kissing. Not Antoine” Minah evidently wanted to chime in, but Julien took a finger to her lips, asking her to stay quiet. “I know we grew up together as family and I know you don’t see me as a boy, but I do like you Minah and today when you received that owl from whoever this guy is, I just felt like I’ve been wasting time and I was angry-“ He immediately caught the way Minah’s eyes widened and he hurried to add “but not at you, I can never be mad at you, I was angry with myself because I never seem to gather enough courage to tell you the truth, to tell you that I like you and-“

Minah gave Julien no time to complete his confession. She fitted her lips to his and kissed him with a soft sound of satisfaction that resembled a lot to a moan. The kiss started off gently, but thoroughly and Minah didn’t dare to move until she felt her whole body tingling. Julien kissed her back, simultaneously feeling a sense of floating and falling. He had waited for it for so long that now he could barely restrain himself.

“I- I- also- I - like- you- too,” Minah said, panting for air, once they finally pulled away. “I like you too, Jules. I thought you knew. I like you too”

Out of pure instinct, Julien got his arms around Minah, pulling her closer to him. His mind had gone blank and he could barely hide a blissful smile making its way onto his face, but Minah’s next words took him out of that trance.

“I know I will sound crazy, but that’s exactly why I want you to be the first one” Minah grabbed one of his hands and looked up to him with her round eyes, and long lashes batting. “I want to have sex, Jules-“ She shook her head “I mean, I want to lose my virginity with you”.

Minah was already overwhelmed with emotions and shivering beneath Julien’s touch when he pulled her up on top of him and kissed her forehead. He tightly clung to her naked body, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist and watching her with adoration. “Be my girlfriend?” His words came out in the form of a low whisper, causing Minah to tense up almost automatically. An older Julien would’ve never dared to ask a similar question, especially not after ‘deflowering’ the girl of his dreams in a soggy pool locker room. But the fifteen-year-old Julien was still too young and too whipped to understand why his question was so inconvenient. He was also too hopeful to anticipate what happened next.

Minah broke down in tears.

For a second, panic whirled through Julien’s mind. He felt disgusting and guilty at the mere thought of having caused Minah physical or emotional pain. He thought that he should’ve known better than to give in so easily to Minah’s suggestion. He should have told her to think through, he should’ve probably waited and planned a special night for her.

Was she probably regretting what they had just done? Was she revolted after loosening her strict moral values? Maybe it was normal for a girl to bewail the loss of her virginity…

“I can’t, Jules” She said in between sobs. It wounded his ego.

“But-“ The boy let his arms fall to the sides, disappointed and humiliated. It was becoming a recurrent feeling whenever Minah was involved.

“It’s not you…” She interrupted, looking up to him with her rounded eyes glistening.

“No, of course not. It’s probably you, non? He couldn't stop the sarcasm dripping from his words, but Minah didn’t take the offense. Instead, she forced herself to smile at him as she reached to caress his hair.

“I’m moving, Jules” She looked into his eyes, so he would know she wasn’t bluffing or making up an excuse. “To London, at the end of the summer. They are transferring me to Hogwarts”

“Your parents?” There was a turmoil inside Julien’s head. He didn’t know what to say or how to begin, but words seemed unnecessary once he noted Minah’s eyes filling up with tears. “I don’t care. I will wait for you to come back”

“Jules, please” Minah let out a derisive scoff “You’re going on a tour with the guys. Chances are you meet someone and you want to date.”

“I won’t,” Julien said firmly, he ran his hands up and down her back and planted a sloppy kiss on Minah’s neck. “Not after this,” he said, pulling her closer to him, so he could feel the way her whole body responded to him.                 

“Jules, don’t be ridiculous. You know-“ Minah’s words died in her throat when Julien captured her lips in a heated kiss that made her groan.

“Why? Do you plan to meet someone else there?

“In Hogwarts?” Minah rolled eyes in pretended offense.

“Then, there’s no reason to worry” Julien skimmed his hand along her shoulder and up to cradle her head in the crook of his neck. “Whatever spell you’ve put on me will surely keep working until next summer, at least…”  He chuckled lightly, making Minah hide her face in embarrassment.

“Jules…” Minah called his name and hesitated for few seconds before daring to ask a question that Julien had also been meaning to ask —not as openly, of course— for some minutes now. “Can we make it again?”

Julien wasn't sure how they'd ended up there, but he was feeling like the luckiest bastard on the planet.

“Is that even a question?” Minah’s body softened into his while the fingers of his right hand slid into her hair and his free hand pulled her hips toward him.

They say that first times are always painful and messy. There is awkwardness and regrets and even disappointment afterward, but Minah Delacroix was actually glad and satisfied with every step along the way. For one thing, she was glad she wore that lacy set from La Perla that aunt Aurelie had bought her as a birthday gift; she was also glad she bathed in floral essences before sneaking with her friends that night; but first and foremost, she was glad she had picked Julien to be the first man in her life, as cliched as it sounded. Although it had happened in the abandoned headquarters of what once upon a time had been the most stylish Art Deco building of Paris; although Julien improvised a bed on a sports mat. Although there were no candles or lilies or champagne for that matter.