#is he stupid ❓️
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𖤐 ִֶָ 𓂃 STRAY KIDS : SMILING WEIRD AT THEM UNTIL THEY NOTICE
genre: fluff, crack, pranks
pairing: skz x reader
bringing the tiktok pranks back bcs i need funny headcanon ideas to write 😁🙏🏻
some member's parts might be a bit shorter than the rest bcs i wrote some while being sugar high at 2:50 in the morning so pls excuse that
leave comments, reblog, and feedbacks pls <3
𖤐 CHAN : —
is 70% concerned 30% holding his laugh
you approached him and started a normal conversation on a very normal thursday afternoon so he thought everything was nice and ok in the house and with you???
he guesses not, a minute or two into the talk 😟
bcs why are you smiling at him in a way that would summon his sleep paralysis demon at night???
he already sleeps so less now he fears he will have to sleep even less.
is too worried to say anything about it because what if this is actually your true smile and you’re just getting comfortable around him and he hurts your feelings by making a comment about it?
right????
but he’s also starting to get scared because wHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BABY YOU’VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE 😭😭😭 WHAT WENT WRONG ⁉️
PLS BRING THEM BACK 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
doesn’t say anything but gets so tensed during the convo and gives you this look that has you breaking character shortly after, bcs you burst out laughing and going back to that cute big smile he was used to and the one he adored.
(sorry, writer-break-in: now if anyone comments abt how they ugly laugh, i’m gonna smash my guitar on your head. chris says that’s cute, so it’s cute. you don’t get a say.)
then he’s like “oh ☺️ that’s it. here they are <3”
thinks about it when he lays in his bed at night tho
might make him rethink everything and consider your health (mental & physical) for a couple days 😕👎🏻
𖤐 MINHO : —
right, ok. so, he notices it so quick
this man is VERYYY very very observant and he knows you like the back of his hand
so the moment you flash your worst smile as he’s in the midst of talking, taking just the chance when he looked to the side for a sec—
he catches it from his peripheral vision, snaps his head at you and he goes 🤨⁉️ (15% concerned 85% judging)
stares at you silently for a while after that, trying to figure you out
🧍🏻😾❓️ (yes.)
when you act completely normal and ask him why he stopped, telling him to continue and all that, he cautiously goes back to saying what he had been talking about
but then you pull your shit again and he catches it this time too right away
(bcs he’s always looking at you when he’s talking. he looks at you when you’re talking too. he looks at you. he just loves looking at you, that’s honestly it. bro is just an eye-contact and make their knees weak type of person)
and he knows he isn’t high
looks straight at you and goes — “what’s wrong with this one... 😐”
and you’re all like “what??? 😠🦿🦿 what’s wrong w me???” bcs how dare he say that in that tone
“why are u making yourself look like that plushie whose face doongie scratched up last week”
LMAOOOO 😭😭😭 SAVE YOURSELF
so you’re throwing hands now (& terribly failing) and this is the only part of your stupid prank that minho is finding fun
𖤐 CHANGBIN : —
HELP.
doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry someone pls take him away from you 🙁🙏🏻
he’s just casually telling you about this sick rap that he came up with yesterday night in the studio
and you’re nodding and laughing, and he turns to focus on you more and finds you like: 😁 i mean 👹???
and the lOOK THAT PASSES THROUGH HIS EYES AND THE WAY HIS SMILE DROPS SO SLOWLY
WITH AN EYE TWITCH TOO
LORD HELP ME
no HELP SEO CHANGBIN ACTUALLY
bro freezes but then he tries to play it chill, chuckling and being like “right... 😄☝🏻 hahah hahahahah so i was saying... ”
but you keep doing it and he can’t ignore it anymore 😔
“...baby what’s wrong? do you feel sick?” and that too in such a scared voice yOU CAN'T KEEP UP THE ACT ANYMORE
once you tell him it’s a prank, relief washes over him like cold water on a scorching hot summer day and he laughs along with you
might haunt him when he’s alone in his studio at midnight tho
𖤐 HYUNJIN : —
judges you.
no i’m not even gonna try to be funny first
HE JUDGES 👨⚖️
you do it and he instantly goes “😦😣 what the fuck”
and you’re like “what? what happened?”
and he doesn’t even know what to say
then he switches up just as quickly and starts yapping again
but you do it again too
and he’s so fed up he goes “dude tf wrong w u 🙄”
and when you keep doing it, he starts iMITATING YOU TO MOCK YOU😭😭
now you’re both just flaring your teeth and gums at each other while cackling in between too, and anyone watching would’ve started praying honestly
later that day, after finding out it was a prank he’s just thinking... why is my partner like this... 😟
he loves u tho <3
𖤐 JISUNG : —
honestly bro...
he finds you adorable :(
like, you guys are casually talking one evening
and he’s telling you about this new anime he watched recently, that almost made him cry
and he’s telling you the amazing sad plot and all, and out of nowhere you just 😁
first he’s really caught off guard bcs... girl (gn!) what 😟 i said??? i almost???? CRIED??? HEARTBREAK?????
but then he just looks at you as you keep up w the goofiness when he speaks again, and he thinks to himself
:(“i love this idiot so much even tho i do feel half irritated and offended right now”
bcs even if you’re pulling your ugliest smile rn, he loves that sparkle in your eyes as you stifle a laugh back and the way almost break character everytime you make eye contact with him
sorry guys this is getting soft but
jisung just loves you very much ☹️☹️☹️
prank is all forgotten, you are just two young people in love <3
𖤐 FELIX : —
i would say he already knows what the trend is, but that’s really boring so let’s pretend that he’s actually getting fooled here.
the moment he sees u doing it, that epic felix thing happens again— where his smile gradually just drops and he has that :0 face in the funniest way
he isn’t sure if he should speak bcs what if that unleashes more of that demon in u 😓
he’s torn between two things actually: should he hug you and try to squish the demonic smile out of you, or should be just stay away and give u your space until ur okay again
bcs he isn’t sure about how fine you are with the way you’re smiling at him right now
he might just be like:
“haha hahahahah hahahah ok we laughed now can we pls have my partner and their sweet smile back 🙁”
genuinely doesn’t know what to do
half of him is scared, half finds you very cute, some other bits are thinking of ways to get back on a a prank of his lololololz
he decides to continue speaking bcs maybe you’ll get distracted by the talk and come back to him normally again
doesn’t happen. so now he’s just there and thinking abt how to fix u 😞🙏🏻
𖤐 SEUNGMIN : —
you hate him
you hate him so bad
he doesn’t give you any reaction AT ALL 😐👎🏻
you start off gentle at first, right, like doing it when he wasn’t looking and then gradually more intensely and so he could clearly see
but nothing. no weird looks. no comments. no judgement.
NOTHING AT ALL?!^#^*@#,
at some point you get all up in his face and you’re like 😁😁😁👹😁😁😁👹😁😁❓️❓️❓️
and mf just keeps talking like nothing is wrong or off
it gets you more and more frustrated with each passing second but man, if you’d put that irritation aside and looked more closely into his facial expressions,
you would’ve seen the way the corner of his mouth lifted in the slightest and that glint of mischief in his eye
but you don’t 🙄
when you finally give up and go “babe why aren’t you asking me why i’m smiling weird??? 😕”
he... he says... he’s like—
“huh? but don’t you always smile like that?”
damn y/n 😥💔 that’s how it was huh
you’re abt to poke his eyeballs out and then shit tears yourself
jk dw tho he’s just teasing you
he stays with felix enough to know about these ideas
and from how you’ve done multiple pranks on him before, everytime you do something weird or out of place now, he just assumes you’re onto some prank
𖤐 JEONGIN : —
HE GETS SCARED PLS DONT😭
NO LIKE he actually starts taking it in all the wrong ways
when he sees you smiling like that.. there’s this STORM of emotions that starts cooking up inside him 😭
“are they ok” “are they mad at me and trying to play it off” “is this a trick move” “is this a prank and if so how should i react that it would make me seem cool and—”
but then... SUDDENLY
he suddenly remembers this piece of information he read on the internet LONG time back, like, AGES ago !! that said like
if someone is having a stroke or about to, their smile will be crooked / really weird and off/abnormal
....
no way... right ?
HIS BABY 😟😕🥺🥺😭😭😭 (emojis are satire im not—)
“...baby 😨😰 i think... i think you’re about to have a stroke 😣 or ARE YOU HAVING IT ALREADY 😰😢😢 HAS IT STARTED😭⁉️”
now ur not sure if u should stop or continue and whether u should laugh, cry or bonk him in the head
but he’s just a jeongin 🙁🎀
#stray kids reactions#stray kids headcanons#stray kids imagines#stray kids reaction#stray kids headcanon#stray kids imagine#skz reactions#skz headcanons#skz imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#bang chan x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#stray kids fluff#stray kids crack#skz fluff#skz crack#📂 — stray kids . . !
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"Autistic Chu Wanning" this "high functioning autism chu wanning" that... what about mo ran??? Cuz like that man had Something going on in his brain.
"How was I supposed to know Shi Mei doesn't like me if he never said it outright? How was I supposed to know Chu Wanning does like me if he never said it outright?" Dude.. 🤨♾️❓️
How many times do you think Mo Ran was mad at Chu Wanning going "he whipped me because I didn't follow this totally stupid social norm that doesn't even make any sense!!! He's mad at me because he's uptight, I didnt do anything weird! I hate him!!"
Like this is the man who's going "I feel fucked up and miserable and sad but I have no idea why because I don't understand my own feelings at all" every other page. Come on
Anyway. This is mo ran to me:
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Winner of the "🚢❓️" poll: "🦭", which is another new WIP which we will be calling "selkie Kon" for the moment.
Kon misses Hawaii. Misses the easy access to the ocean, and the beach, and the sun and sky. But especially just misses the water.
Kansas doesn’t have water. Metropolis at least has a harbor and a river, and Cadmus wasn’t that far from Metropolis, but Kansas . . .
Super-speed or not, Kansas has nothing. Smallville’s got, like, ponds. A river that barely counts as one. A few creeks that everyone calls “cricks” and looks at you funny if you don’t.
But no real water. No sea. No ocean. Just . . . land. Miles and miles of flat, empty land with nothing to break it up and nowhere to go in it and nothing else whatsoever.
He fucking hates it.
Kon hates a lot of things about Smallville, though. He even hates being a Titan, sometimes.
It’s nothing like Young Justice was. Young Justice was theirs.
And Smallville is Clark’s, and just so damn small. The sky and the land go on forever, but there’s no water, no energy, no life, no depth to it. Clark loves it here, but Kon can’t understand why.
And he doesn’t love it enough to ever be here except to tell him he’s fucked up again, apparently, so what’s the point?
Kon guesses he’s just never understood Clark, though. Even when he thought he did, or at least thought he almost did.
He definitely never has, though.
He definitely doesn’t now, if nothing else.
There’s just–there’s no water here. It seems like such a stupid little thing to complain and obsess about, but it makes Kon feel held-in, crushed-down, flattened-out, trapped. It makes him feel . . .
Small, somehow. Like he’s just this tiny, isolated little thing that doesn’t belong to anything, that isn’t a part of anything, that’ll never go home again. Which–he doesn’t even have a home, so it’s not like that feeling’s wrong. Not like other people do.
The Titans don’t fix that. The open sky doesn’t fix that. Everything Clark tells him there is to love here doesn’t fix that.
Even the new name with “Kent” in it doesn’t fix that.
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💌 = ao3 | 💞 = mild nsfw | 💗 = explicit smut |❓ = requested
18+ only ! minors DNI.
please heed the tags on my ao3 fics !
❀ longfics ❀
A Toxic Strain | E | Trevor/Female OC | 220k words, complete 💌💗
After a territory dispute with dispensary owner Franklin Clinton, 23-year-old Kacie Ocampo is coerced into abandoning her simple life of slinging dime bags of homegrown weed on Vespucci Beach and relocating to Sandy Shores to work for a violent, unpredictable criminal: Trevor Philips. A storm of conflicting emotions brews within Kacie as she falls victim to Trevor's manipulation while also harboring intense feelings of attraction to him - a storm that threatens her senses of morality and rationality with obliteration. She finds herself dragged into increasingly dangerous situations as Trevor tangles with a vengeful gang of bikers, his own mental instability, and a past that he refuses to let go of.
-----
Growing Pains | E | Trevor/Female OC | 230k words, complete 💌💗
Kacie and Trevor's first few months as a couple have passed by in a hedonistic haze of sex, drugs, and petty crime. A toxic codependency has taken root, and neither of them have even tried to mitigate its growth. Trevor is more than happy to have an unlimited source of affection and attention, and so long as she's having fun with him, Kacie cares about little else. But a series of bad choices - some made by her, some made by him - may be enough to make things decidedly unfun.
-----
Burning in Heaven | E | Trevor/Female OC | 34k words, WIP 💌💗
After starting a new life together in their totally–legally–obtained home in Rockford Hills, Kacie and Trevor are hard at work finding their footing in Los Santos. Getting Trevor’s new lifestyle coaching career off the ground has turned out to be no small feat, and the couple have turned to more familiar ways of squeezing profit from the city’s scores of drug–addicted citizens in the meantime. Though their work is challenging, more strenuous problems arise. Their relationship has finally levelled out into their own twisted (yet mostly happy) version of domestic bliss, but as an old flame is reignited and a new one is set, their peace is threatened by more than just the dangers of Los Santos’ criminal underbelly.
-----
Handsome in an Ugly Way | E | Trevor/Fem!Reader | 27k words, WIP 💌💗
You're a clerk at a liquor store in Sandy Shores. The job is mind-numbingly boring and most of the customers are assholes. But one customer, the biggest asshole of them all, has caught your eye. And on one particular night, he notices you looking at him.
❀ headcanon lists ❀
my stupid-long list of general trevor headcanons 💞
trevor w/ pregnant fem!reader & their baby 💞❓
north yankton trevor w/ photographer fem!reader 💞❓
general north yankton era headcanons about trevor, michael, and brad ❓
trevor as a husband and father ❓
hate to love w/ fem!reader & north yankton era trevor 💞❓
north yankton trevor w/ a goth fem!reader 💗❓
❀ oneshots/short fics ❀
fem!reader meeting & hooking up w/ trevor 💗
north yankton trevor meeting & falling for fem!reader who is into boxing 💞❓
post ending-b trevor/fem!reader who reminds him of michael 💌❓
sandy shores exhile era trevor/michael 💌
fem!reader surprises trevor in lingerie 💌💗
chubby and shy fem!reader/trevor 💗❓️(+ separate ao3 link)
#will update w/ new additions as i post them <3#myfic#gta v fanfiction#gtav fanfiction#trevor philips/reader#trevor philipsxreader#trevor philips/you#trevor philips#trevor philips fanfiction#gta v#gtav#gta5#gta 5#masterlist#ao3#trevor philips/oc#gta oc#gta v headcanons#trevor philips headcanons
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@killchosen // ❓️ + what about raph made you fall in love?
Send ❓️ + a question, and my muse has to tell the truth.
THE AIR WAS silent around her for a moment, brain trying to gather the endless amounts of racing thoughts and answers that ran through her head, all battling to the surface at once. Raphael, and her feelings for him, were such an enigma to her -- she'd spent five years being afraid of her own feelings, afraid of the exact scenario she'd found herself in with him...and yet, now, it just seemed stupid. She'd spent so long afraid of falling in love again, after Carlton, after Jane, and yet, when the time came for it to happen again, it just...happened. And she was fine.He was fine. They both made it out, despite everything.
IT WAS HARD for her to pinpoint just one thing in particular -- she had always been detail-oriented, always centered in on all the tiny little things that her hands couldn't catch a single thing, her mind couldn't possibly lock onto one thought in particular, it was a cacophony of various details, notes, observations, everything she needed to know to work, to protect, to fight, and most relevant, to love. So many things blurred together that it almost felt like nothing at all, everything swirling together to create the image of him in her head.
AFTER A WHILE of contemplation, the rebel leader responded, pulling a cigarette out of the box with her teeth and lighting it up with a crimson lighter all the while.
" AH'LL LET'CHA KNOW when ah' figure it out m'self -- all ah' really know is it's that he's himself. Unapologetically, passionately, loudly. He ain't gonna hide who he is or reduce himself fer no one. He's...god, this sounds about corny as squirrel shit. He's just himself. He cares about people, he don't let people hurtin' him so many times stop him from wantin' ta' help 'em, willin' ta' throw his life away so he can do good fer others...HE'S THE GOOD THAT EXISTS IN THIS WORLD. "
#killchosen#🍏 // in character / you got your finger on the trigger but your trigger finger's mine#🍏 // v ; 2007 / violence does call me ; i’ve answered before ; i'd made many enemies and settled my scores#🍏 // answered / i tear apart the pages of the story of my life#i was. not expecting her to pop off like this tbh like ok cleo NSKDKSJ
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😋 and ❓️ for jay :]
😋 - funny/stupid headcanon for jay: you know his ass would be 'rescuing' all sorts of animals all the time if someone brought it to his attention that he could do that. he has the money. he has the space. it's only a matter of time before his lawn is mowed by goats and there's a disabled tiger in his bed. someone get in there and give him some self control before it's too late
❓️- oh shit. uh. well. it should be said that almost all of my fics/presentations (like @ask-jay-gatsby) are Alan Ladd of the 1949 film, though all of More Than Tender Curiosity and Sounds Like Fireworks are both Leo DiCaprio Gatsby (DiGatsbio, if you will) because that was all I knew when I wrote it. I know better now. So yes if you're reading Gatsby or Right on Time or the Seasons series or Ghosting you are legally obligated to picture this twink who's trying his best to convince he's not 5'6 and 130 pounds. Look at him in his bigass suit. Bask in his light. He's beautiful. He's pathetic. He's scrappy. He's scary. He's refined. He's EVERYTHING.
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MOMOCHI
ask game !!
must i . . . ? 😔😔 /silly utc <33
14 – i dont rlly know fashion aesthetics butttt uhh i think hed be gurokawa . . . i thunk thats the right term ??? i dont know i am fashion stupids i apologize 💔💔
24 – UHHM this is kinda hard i feel like hes kinda unique in a fucked up way. but hmhmm. maybe yang piofiore hes pretty messed up too w his love ❓️ there is a distincr difference to me in how mmc treats his gf and yang treats lili tho as like. yang is kinda fine w/o her but mmc has an Attachment to his gf ???? i guess i dont know bro i dont know mmc That welll im ngl sorry mmc fans .
25 – wellll i thought his design was pretty cute !! im fond of his first few season outfits i think . . . i thought hed be a cute character and well. ermmm i think i was a bit wrong but thats ok !!! now i just wanna study him under a microscope. one day
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im in ur ask box again (and im on my periods) so beware of my stupidity
1) i've never received a request, so i'm going to assume that this is a req! here i go ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و U DO NOT REALISE HOW PRECIOUS, TALENTED, CUTE, BEAUTIFUL, MAGNIFICENT U ARE OML😭💞💌
2) It was deadly silent, except for the soft breaths that your boyfriend exhaled while he slept beside you. wake up bitch its my bday
3) "Are you cold, baby?" Joshua asked in a low murmur idk u tell me,,, is the AC on? turn it off tf 💀🗣
4) "Can I keep my socks on?" you asked just when he moved to take your top off. while having sex? YES tf⁉️
5) "You have the prettiest tits, baby," he hummed against your skin. understandable, have a great day 👍
6) "Mm, don't get bratty, baby". its my bday,,, tf❓️🤨 "It might be your birthday, but I could still cuff you to the bed." oh hell nah man 😧
7) "Do you think it's a joke that I want to propose to you?" he asked teasingly, but his tone was everything but. yes
8) "Faster?" you pleaded and then added innocently: "Please, Josh. It's my birthday." birthday wishes should come true josh 🗣‼️
9) "Oh, bunny. You think you're so slick," cus I am
10) You ran your fingers through his hair. "You do know I want to marry you, right?" he doesnt know shit cus that pussy got him to outer space 👹😏
11) "Breathe," you heard your boyfriend remind you. make me
12) "You have the prettiest pussy," thanks ✌️
13) He nodded in agreement. "Baby steps, Ms. Hong." THAT BABY LEAPS FR 💪🔛🔝💀🗣‼️
14) "I love you, bunny," he whispered. u better 🔫😃
15) "Do you need anything, bunny?" he asked. "I can bring you water, or food if you're hungry." world domination and or money
i love to receive your asks (i hope you're okay) haha
OMG THANK YOU SO SO MUCH 🥺😭💟
wake up boyfriend joshua 🗣️🗣️🗣️
i'm always cold so i can relate to reader on this haha
right??? i don't want my feet to get cold tf
😼😼
IT'S FUN OK hahaha
WHYYYY
right??! josh make my wishes come true 🗣️��
yes 💁🏻♀️😼
HAHAHAH the coochie gripped him hard
😼👀
💅🏻
IT FLIES
he does i promise 😭
money i think it's easier
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omg u finished the secret history❓️❗️❓️❗️ did u like it how was it who is ur favorite character i want to hear everything like a girl kicking her feet and twirling her hair at a sleepover exchanging gossip <3333333
Yes I did! I have been waiting for someone to answer me because no one (you know who you are ) is answering my texts anyways as an avid Donna tartt lover I really did enjoy the book I think at the start it was a little slow mainly because it had to establish the story etc etc but I really did enjoy it I think something I really enjoyed was the fact that it kept me constantly wondering what was going to happen next (I found this especially prominent when Richard starts going off about how he “should have known what they were doing “ regarding the whole bachanal ritual (gang bang) and how he was questioning what happened with the bedsheets and why they were all so concerned about the weather ) also that ending fucked me up good ANYWAYS Moreover I found it deeply distressing at times mainly because I just wanted to know what was going on but alas I really fun read I also loved how there was certain parts of the book that you kind of had to remember in order to understand it also I found it kind of funny like I’m not even going to lie the book was fucking hilarious the amount of times I would say something was gonna happen as a joke AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE truly so funny also all of them are SO dumb and I love that the only way they all dealt with their guilt was to just hook up with each other and become avid alcoholics like that’s just kinda #real and so #girl of them im not going to talk about the whole Charles and Camilla thing cuz that was um not very slay but ALAS in terms of characters I fucking loved Richard so much he’s so stupid and silly the way he just hooked up with that one girl AND kissed francais all in one night literally productive bisexual king I found it really funny how he got mad fomo bc he wasn’t invited to their orgy ritual whatever the fuck that was like sir they killed someone 😭😭😭 I think looking back on the book as a whole francais was probably my favourite at times I related to him and his struggles in terms of the twins I didn’t really care for them much until the end idk I have mixed feelings about both esp Charles but I’ll probably comment on that when I’m sober anyways Henry (sigh) I hate to say it but I kind of sort of didn’t mind him at the start he had this swag about him that kind of made me like him also the fact he spoke multiple languages made me jealous bc I’ve always wanted to do that but towards the end.................. hmm also I’m SORRY but him and Richard should’ve fucked I think that would’ve solved so many problems bunny pissed me off at times but I think his character was really interesting i was intrigued with the idea that he was able to control certain aspects of what his friends did even after his death (in a metaphorical sense ) and lastly Julian reminds me of pretty much every single teacher I’ve ever had piled into one I kind of found it amusing that he was literally like “okey “ when they told him what they did anyways I think I’m taking up half the dash w this sorry everyone 💞💞💞💞💞
#I think something that’s always gonna stick with me about Julian as a character#is when Henry said *I loved him more than my father I loved him more than anything in the world#literally me with my year 12 English teacher#ANYWAYS I coukd go on and on about this silly little book#I really need to talk about the ending I still have like a billion questions#I’m surprised I didn’t see it coming bc I’d read the goldfinch and I mean there’s parallels#asks
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Winner of the "🎧❓️" poll: "meow", which therefore means another round of "stray cat strut". (( chrono || non-chrono ))
Tim really doesn’t like pets, though, so even the likelihood of Damian being on his best behavior today isn’t making him feel any better about being stuck at this event right now. Or rather, he doesn’t like how a lot of people treat their pets, and at an event like this, there’s a whole lot of people around with both their own pets and other people’s, not to mention all the ones the rescue brought.
Seriously, there’s just . . . so many pets here today. It’s bad enough when especially entitled socialites insist on bringing their pets everywhere, but for a pet-focused event, no one ever seems to leave them at home. Tim’s already seen half a dozen rabbits, at least twice as many birds, a matching pair of fennec foxes, one or two reptiles, and more dogs and cats than he could shake a bo staff at, all of which are rare and ridiculously expensive purebreds.
The pets the actual rescue brought aren’t anywhere near that fancy, of course; they’re just here for the photo ops and sympathy points. Or just the appearance of “sympathy” points, maybe, given how many of the upper-class attendees and potential donors in attendance are people that Tim knows for a fact have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair created with slave labor cacao, butter with uncertified palm oil, high-fructose corn syrup, and GMO wheat deliberately bred to be sterile all put together by a bunch of underpaid workers on unpaid overtime for a celebrity chef who hasn’t even seen the five-alarm health code violation of an industrial kitchen/production line they’re all working in.
Not that Bernard has ever gone on any incredibly-detailed rants about the food industry around him or anything.
Fuck, he misses Bernard. Why couldn’t he bring Bernard to this stupid event? What’s the point in having the world’s best fiancé when said best fiancé isn’t allowed to come to the stupid events with him just because of one incredibly brief two-hour explanation of why the mayor should be ritually sacrificed to Dionysus for breaking literally every single campaign promise he'd made to everyone below the one percent made to the mayor’s wife? She’d agreed with him, for crying out loud!
. . . alright, so her filing for divorce the next day had probably looked bad, publicly speaking. Like, in theory.
Tim still thinks it’s bullshit he can’t bring Bernard to another event or gala for another two months. As ever, this situation would be much less annoying with Bernard in it.
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