#is he imagining it is strahm really haunting him who's to say

[redactedcrowart]

regret (maybe you shouldn't have fucking panini pressed your mancrush, dipshit)

[horrorknife]

hi ! sorry if this sounds weird but like

i stumbled upon one of your hoffheight posts and I'm so. genuinely fascinated ?? like, i THINK i understand it (I've certainly put them in a microwave and stared at them for the past few days) but i want to "get it right", if that makes ANY amount of sense. I want to interpret them correctly, I think is a better way to phrase it (it's 2am nothing I say will make more sense and I apologize for that.)

I think in a post you mentioned them being like, reflections of each other or something, which, I didn't realize but shit yeah?? they are aren't they. something about being on hair triggers or whatever. GOD they fascinate me so much I need you to understand how much this dynamic intrigues me. having them both be unstable in their own rights (esp with anger issues and all) it just. I love that ?? it's so fun!! I keep spinning them in my mind !!!

I think you also mentioned them being some flavor of qpr and as someone who's aromantic I. god qpr's my beloved. I really need them to be an evil qpr. that means a lot 2 me. ESPECIALLY if it's not even mentioned, but it definitely is a qpr. in my head Adam would have the potential (still not likely) to know what a qpr is, but he would never label it as that. at least not verbally. I love when there's a silent agreement that two people are definitely not romantic but labelling something as platonic is insincere. they're a secret third option don't worry about it !!!

sorry for dumping this into your inbox, I have a lot of thoughts and assumed it'd be mildly funny if I just left them with you. do with that what you will. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for the food for thought

[bonus ask that's ACTUALLY an ask and not just the ramblings of a mad man, do you have any fic recommendations of the two? for research, of course]

HI!!!! oh my fucking god anon you have no idea how excited and happy this makes me . *little cat running around in circles moment* 

so like. i imagine there’s this cord between them and neither of them understand it. they can both just Smell the sameness on each other, the familiarity of deepset rage and suffering and loneliness. adam’s young and impressionable and hoffman would be able to use him to his advantage. hoffman would love this guy. my characterization of adam post bathroom is lonely, detached, and even angrier than before so he gets into fights for the self destructive nature of the thing and hoffman would LOVE how unhinged he is (we all saw how much hoffman seemed to admire/get obsessed w strahm and that guy is Nuts). they’re the same kind of prey animal! they have the same fear of abandonment!!

something something the way they both die in the same spot, attached to the same pipe, forced to watch as LAWRENCE (OF ALL PEOPLE!!!!) abandons them for dead. adam is desperate for life adam is in a game rigged against him. hoffman fights and fights and gnashes and thrashes against this the entire series and yet he ultimately has no choice but to succumb to it, he dies the same horrific way adam did, alone and abandoned and feeling that same primal prey animal fear. there's something to both of them being lawrence's only (CANONICAL) victims (brad, ryan, and dina are lawrence's vics to me. but that's a different post) there's something to the way that adam dies in the first film and haunts the narrative forever and the person who reprises that role is HOFFMAN of all people. the way that this comes full circle is really really delicious to me

adam's camera is his buffer from the real world, it's how he processes things, he's at his best when he's unnoticed and free to Watch. guys we're not doing enough with the voyeur thing. guys. adam catalogs information adam loves holding secret knowledge. in a similar way, hoffman is holding a knife between himself and the real world, he's processing everything through a layer of violence before all else because he can't risk human connection anymore. all of his relationships are made through violence and this is of course present here as well because you adam's deepest connections are also facilitated through violence. you can argue that this is true of all saw characters and you'd be right but there's something so specially flavored about it when you look at hoffman and adam next to each other.

hoffman needs Direction From Someone Else in order to be an effective cog in the jigsaw machine–after john dies he just falls apart immediately and gets clumsy and makes stupid mistakes bc at the end of it all hoffman has been robbed of a Normal existence and the thing he really wants most is companionship (again, seen in the way he interacts w rigg and strahm–he communicates his ‘affection’ in adversarial ways to keep them hooked + offers them genuine chances at survival but they’re both too clouded and Against Him for it to work. king of misjudging situations) and direction. i think if he even had a LITTLE help he’d be a lot better at being jigsaw

conversely, adam is this poor, broke 25 year old clinking pennies together in his shithole apartment. and he has the same stripping of purpose hoffman does. he doesn’t communicate with his family anymore (for undisclosed reasons but this is one of my personal pinpoints for bi/transmasc adam), effectively abandoned by them, and we know that his one namedropped friend (his “BEST” friend btw) is a piece of shit TO him and ABOUT him. adam gets walked all over and he lives at the universe’s disposal to kick the shit out of. he’s been abandoned or mistreated by everyone significant in his life. hoffman is a well off and well respected cop with a whole department of people who highly respect him but he’s empty inside bc he’s incapable of having any meaningful relationships the moment he gets involved with john. he has to fully wall himself off again because it’s too risky to get close to other people. imagine your only worldly thread of understanding from another person ends up being the serial killer you’re chasing/impersonating. and he hates you.

adam’s a genuinely understanding and kind person under his defensiveness, we all know this, we’ve all seen saw 2004. he’d be kind to hoffman and hoffman would see stars. he forgot people were capable of treating him like a normal person. having hoffman warm up to you is the equivalent of having a crochety old man who hates everyone share apple slices with you. you’re a little nervous about it, you’re a little on edge, but he’s just cutting out his apple slices and handing you one every so often. a test of trust. maybe you’re uncomfortable but you’ll take his offering to be polite. you’ll enjoy his company, you’ll share that apple with him, you’ll forge a new bond with that person. this is the type of companionship im kind of getting at. 

um but yeah . rambling aside. back on track. unspoken/unaware qpr hoffheight is THE THING to me. yes we love each other yes we’d kill for each other no we’re not in love. we have a secret third thing and it’s called I Have To Keep This Guy Safe Right Fucking Now Because He Matters To Me More Than I Can Understand. OH mid paragraph im remembering something important. this absolutely all takes place within a sphere of hoffman and adam’s relationship starting with hoffman making adam his apprentice. i feel like that might have been obvious up there ^ but i want to be very clear w my intentions and my vision. KJDFSJKDF. ALSO oh my god . fuckkkkk fuck  fuck fml i think hoffman thinks 2 himself that angelina would probably have liked adam and that definitely endears him to the guy. 

like you said yeah i think adam has the Potential to know what a qpr is (but i dont think he does know)!! if anything he would ultimately just recognize it as an inherently special and inherently queer relationship…auuuu………i know i didnt get too into the evil parts of them too much here but thats cuz it would make me end up writing a 6k essay on them or something. just know that they do butt heads a lot because at the end of the day theyre from completely different universes and adam is an ODD/BPD king.

god . i could really just go on and on and on and on about them. i have so much more to say LOL but this is already a bit of a wordy response >__< i just have such a clear vision of their vibe and dynamic in my mind. it comes to me like sherlock visions. i’m being pelted with big times new roman font things that say shit like “HOFFHEIGHT GAY SEX” “They Are Everything To Each Other In A Codependent Ass Way” 

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK BY THE WAY I UM. GOT SO FUCKING EXCITEDD WHEN I READ IT AKJDNJAKLDNVSJKFNFDKGNVDFK. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THESE TWO ARE TO ME . YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SICK AND FUCKED UP I AM OVER THEM LOLLLLL. asks that made me get up out of bed at 6:30 in the morning because i was too excited and woke up fully 

if u have more questions or u wanna rap abt this more PLEAAAAASE feel free 2 send more asks or reach out via messages i love discussing my evil plots with them. i am literally ALWAYS locked and loaded and ready to talk about hoffheight. anon i unfortunately do not have fic recs because i do not like reading fanfiction. im incredibly particular about characterization and i’m a little bit of a writing snob. i don’t trust them in anyone else’s hands for fic if i’m being honest. i don’t think anyone else’s vision will fully align with mine and i’m too autistic to risk seeing that be done wrong. i’ll get too emotional KJDNKJSNFJ