#is Kyle not the mundane spacecop-aficionado Jason always assumed him to be? who knows! certainly not me

[themandylion]

[fic] Stat Roll

Please enjoy this little story about a certain smol dragon’s boyfriend in honor of the first Saturday in May.

—

"You can help out in the shop Saturday, right?" is the first thing out of Jason's mouth when Tim sticks his head in at the end of the day. Normally he'd be a bit less snappy, but he's trying to get everything in order and he's already feeling frazzled even though he's still got a few days.

"Uh, but peewee game?" "Postponed until next week. I don't need one more thing to deal with along with everything else." Jason tugs the vacuum closer and does another pass by the used and discount racks. Honestly, he has no idea how the carpet gets so much dirtier over here than the rest of the store. "Wait, is something going on? I know Bart wanted to get together and do something for May the Fourth, but I told him I couldn't because of the peewee game." Jason stares at him. "Seriously? And here I thought you were the comic nerd in this relationship. Tim, it's the first Saturday of May." "Okay...?" "Free Comic Book Day." Tim blinks, then straightens. "Right! Any heavy lifting you need me to do?"

——— "Thanks again for doing this, Kyle." He honestly wasn't sure the guy would show up, especially since Jason hadn't offered him compensation aside from lunch and free publicity, but apparently his pleas hadn't fallen on deaf ears as he'd originally feared. "You pulled the guilt-tripping ex card and offered me free food, of course I wasn't going say no," Kyle says, dropping his bag under the table and plopping himself down. "Do I need to stay the whole day, or just a couple hours? Only I told Jade I was doing this and she wanted to swing by, finally meet you." "Er, as long as you can stick it out, really? I'm not sure how much of a draw you'll be, most of the customers skew on the younger side." Jason had asked Tim to put out word that the author/artist of the City Dwellers series is going to be at Knight & Page, but he has no idea if it did any good—the mysteries of social media are beyond his ken. "Sounds good. Say, speaking of meeting people, do I finally get to meet the mysterious 'Tim'?" Kyle waggles his eyebrows, because he is ridiculous. "Yeah, he's agreed to help out. He'll be back any moment now, just ran out to get bagels or something for all of us." Jason nods over at where Sin is getting herself situated at the free comic table, Charlie helping her straighten stacks. "He better hurry up if you want a chance to eat them before the masses descend. They're already starting to look restless out there." Kyle gestures to the window, where a small crowd has already gathered out front, waiting for the doors to open. "I don't know why they do this every year. They know I'm not opening those doors until 10 o'clock." "Ah, but what if one year you decide to open at 9:30 and that's the year they wait until 10? They'll never forgive themselves." Jason makes a face. "And now I'm once again reminded why I broke up with you. Ugh. I'm going to go check on Tim—don't you dare open those doors." ——— If the bagels are ever a thing, Jason never sees them. Heck, he doesn't even see Tim until quarter-past noon, when a pair of arms snake around his middle and a sharp chin digs into his back. "D'you know you've got a dryad hanging out at the signing table?" Jason glances over, sees the pretty woman sitting next to Kyle, and shakes his head. "That's just Jade." Who he'd finally had a chance to meet earlier, albeit very briefly before being called away to check the basement for extra stock. "Pretty sure she's not a dryad—she's dating Kyle, and he's completely mundane." "Yeah, no. Definitely a dryad. Her aura's all green, very pretty," Tim says. "Also, met your ex. Nice guy, cute butt." "How can you even see his butt, he's sitting down? Never mind, don't answer that." It's probably some weird magical thing that Jason has yet to learn. "Shit, I can't believe she's a dryad. Don't magical types generally stick to dating other magical people?" He hopes this isn't going to come back to bite Kyle in his apparently cute rear end. Kyle likes Jade—quite a lot, from what Jason's gathered—and he deserves to catch a break with his love life after the shit show it's been (and yes, Jason's including himself in that). "Love doesn't always follow rules. I started dating you when you were still mundane. And, actually, there's might be some latent potential in him—two potentials hooking up, one of them later going on to date a dragon, the other a dryad? Magical people tend to gravitate towards one another, sometimes without even realizing it." Tim pulls away slightly, allowing Jason to turn and slip an arm around his waist. "Well, in the case of me and Kyle, it was more we had a really good time in bed nearly bit off each other's heads the rest of the time. I don't know if gravity even really factored into it, just two dudes being kinda horny for each other." "I really want to make a bad pun in response to that, but it wouldn't work on account my not actually having horns," Tim grumbles. "Oh, hey. Reason I'm over here aside from wanting to appreciate your very cute butt—it's nearly 12:30 and Kyle mentioned something about you promising him food?" "Shit, I totally forgot. Do you think you can handle things here if I slip out for fifteen, twenty minutes to get it? I'd ask you to do it, but I already know what kind of things he likes." "Go, take a break. Regain some of your last sanity," Tim says, giving him a swat. "Bring me food too?" "Of course." ——— He ends up getting enough food to cover the girls too because it's always best to stay on Babs's good side, and, after a moment of hesitation, enough for Jade as well. It's probably weird to want to make friends with his ex's girlfriend, but Kyle's still his friend and he wants to make a good impression. Laden with bags, he reaches gets back to the shop and finds he doesn't have a free hand for the door. Luckily, an older man quickly steps forward, opening it for him. "That's quite a haul there, young man. Are you planning to feed a small army?" "Feels like it, but no. I've got friends helping me out with something today and I figure the least I can do is make sure they get fed. Thanks for getting the door." "Not at all, I was on my way in anyway." Jason can't help the, "Really?" that slips out in response. He know he shouldn't be surprised that old people are interested in comics as well as young, but even his older customers are rarely as long in the tooth as this guy. "Well, I haven't been by since Hiram passed, so I figured it was about time." The man smiles, his blue eyes positively twinkling in the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the windows as he straightens so he's no longer leaning on his cane. For one brief moment there's silence, all the crowds vanishing and leaving the store completely empty except for just the two of them. Except it's not one moment—or, if it is, it's a moment that's stretching on for forever.

"Oh," Jason says a little dumbly, staring at the man.

"Hello, Jason, I'm Alan. On behalf of the local wizard circle, I'd like to welcome you to our little community."

"Who in the what now?"

"When my daughter said you'd eaten the egg, I figured it was past time for me to come see you myself."

"But, wizard…?" Tim made it pretty clear to him that wizards are not the type to be having kids.

"Yes, well. That's the curious thing about dryads, you know—they're plants, and not all plants strictly ascribe to one sex. Jade's other parent was a real character, lemme tell you!" The wizard laughs, clapping Jason on the back. "Come on, let's pull your friends into the time bubble. From what recall back when Hiram used to run this place, I'm sure they're all in need of a bit of a break before heading back into the fray."