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An investigation: if supermodels are so dumb and vapid, how do they pull artistic geniuses?

This is a picture of Nick Cave and his wife leaving the inquest into their son’s death. Their 15 year old boy fell from a cliff after taking acid and becoming disoriented. 

I cannot even conceive of how terrible it must be to lose a child. The drugs and the cliff make it an episode of Skins (or Euphoria for the zoomers) but that’s your little boy. It was a stupid accident and now you never get to see him again. A teenaged tragedy. Unendingly unfair. 

Ghosteen, the 2019 album from Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, is a complex, existential album in conversation with the death of Nick’s son and his feelings of loss and grief. Nick Cave is an artist - his life’s work is to share how he feels and what he thinks. What he’s expressing with Ghosteen is sorrow and longing - and some larger angst about the purpose of existence.

Through all this tragedy, I’m sure you couldn’t help but notice... who’s the babe with the shiny hair and the fabulous gazongas? That’s Nick’s wife, man! Susie Bick - or sometimes Susie Cave. She was a major model in the 80s and 90s. A model and an artist - it’s actually fitting. 

And what’s more, Susie is the founder of The Vampire’s Wife - a label which has become super popular in the last couple of years. (Fashion people eyeroll The Vampire’s Wife because every dress has the same silhouette, but that’s out of the scope of this blog.)

There is a perception that models are are vapid and unserious. Their job is to look good, keep their mouth shut, and move merchandise. They cannot offer anything profound because their value is surface level. Men and women both push this way of thinking. 

For example, when Brad Pitt was recently revealed to be dating 27 year old model Nicole Poturalski, people were disappointed. Brad Pitt has been a cultural fixture for decades - after all this time, people still find him fascinating. And they expect him to date someone who is equally compelling. Clooney married a human rights lawyer - why is Brad dating someone who makes posts like this on Instagram...

This was Lainey Gossip’s take on the new girlfriend: 

A model, younger, it’s so predictable it’s almost boring.

Nice! I guess we’re all feminists until the woman in question is young and hot. 

It's easy to assume the worst of a person who is unknown to us, but is beautiful and hooking up with someone famous. A million mean thoughts spring to mind. “A model, younger”. That’s scorn. You know exactly what she’s saying: hot but dumb. An uninteresting person. We know what Brad really wants her for... 

If Brad Pitt is compelling to you, how compelling must Nicole Poturalski be to have won and held his attention? Brad Pitt has not been celibate in the four years since he separated from Angelina Jolie, but not until Nicole did we have confirmation of someone who he was definitely seeing. He allowed himself to be photographed with her en route to his French chateau. And what ensued was a weird story - she’s in an open relationship with some old German restaurateur and she has a son? She’s a sugar baby? Why would Brad fucking Pitt get publicly involved with someone who has a messy personal life: why hook up with a married 27 year old and weather months of stories about her open marriage if he didn’t actually like her? Why even be seen with her? The relationship is a little weird - but the reporting on it has been nasty. The new sugar baby angle which has emerged in the last week (late October 2020) is basically calling her a whore. This is the level of suspicion and derision directed at a model dating a public fixture like Brad Pitt. The notion that Brad Pitt would pay for female company or sex is patently absurd. 

If our assumptions about models are correct, why do so many models end up with artistic geniuses? I don’t care about the Victoria’s Secret models who hooked up with the bassist from Kings of Leon. I’m talking about beautiful women who made it with icons, the premier humans of the past century:

MUSICIANS

Nick Cave and Susie Bick

David Bowie and Iman

Kanye West and Amber Rose

Bob Dylan and Sara Lownds

Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall

Mick Jagger and Carla Bruni

Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin

Eric Clapton and Pattie Boyd

George Harrison and Pattie Boyd

Madonna and Jesus Luz

MISC. POWERFUL PEOPLE

Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi

Donald Trump and Melania (lol)

Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni

Evan Spiegel and Miranda Kerr 

Hitler and Eva Braun (What?! She had a brief career an artist’s model...)

Michael Jordan and Yvette Prieto

Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall 

ACTORS (perhaps not artistic icons... but still creative and interesting)

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves

Johnny Depp and Kate Moss

Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk

Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse

Robert Pattinson and Suki Waterhouse

Vincent Cassel and Tina Kunakey

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey

Leonardo DiCaprio and half the VS roster

Huge congrats to all the models with more than one entry on the list. You’ll note that there is a dearth of female icon/male model pairings - this is kind of interesting but not something I feel like getting into.

To some extent, the prevalence of the artist and model pairing makes sense. Men like good looking women. Rich, powerful men are high status and have access to good looking women. Plus, an artist needs a muse.

Many of the models in the list above are actually iconic in their own right. Like, when someone is having a great day on RuPaul’s Drag Race and looking sleek and skinny and flawless RuPaul might compare them to Iman. People pay $10,000 USD for handbags named after Jane Birkin. 

Conversely, in the case of Amber Rose, she became the most desired woman in the hip hop industry c. 2010 because she was with Kanye. And most especially because she broke Kanye’s heart. Everyone wanted the girl from “Hell of a Life”. People point to that song as being about Kim - it was prophetic, yes, but not written about her.

Anyway. Could an icon, a legend, a genius, make it work with someone who had nothing to offer but a fast metabolism and a beautiful face? Do poreless skin and puffy lips make up for never finishing high school? 

Wouldn’t being with someone superficial or unserious mean the artist was fundamentally boring in some way too? This is increasingly the assumption about Leonardo DiCaprio - seen above photographing his 23 year old model gf for her Instagram. Even Reddit mocks him for his age gap relationships with models.

And here’s where I try to make my point: 

Kate Moss’ daughter, Lila, recently had her modelling debut during Paris Fashion Week. It was big news because she’s celebrity spawn - and of course her mother is one of the most iconic models ever. She was eviscerated. 

On The Daily Mail, the comparisons to her mother flowed. What’s interesting is that Daily Mail readers do not like Kate Moss but they will defend her 90s modelling career with their life. They laud her bone structure, her waifish figure. An irresistible, undeniable face. 

It seems silly to praise someone for the shape of their head and the way their skin fits over it... it’s not a talent, is it? Maybe it is! There is no shortage of hot girls in the world - but there may be a shortage of girls with preternatural charismatic beauty. Lila Moss (left above) is attractive - she even looks quite a bit like her mum. Perhaps in the pic above she even looks hotter than her mum (right above). But Kate Moss is more interesting: less perfect - half her eyebrow is missing, she’s less manicured. She exudes some kind of darkness, newness. Lottie Moss, Kate’s younger half-sister, is a similar story. Obviously attractive, obviously interested in modelling - but she’s lacking something. 

Bella Hadid came from a similar-ish background to Lila Moss (Bravoleb parents, frequent appearances on Real Housewives of Beverley Hills in her teen years, groomed by her ex-model mother) but Bella Hadid has it. She may have risen through the ranks due to nepotism and cosmetic surgery but she is someone people want to look at. She is sought after - not foisted upon us. Again, it’s not because she’s the hottest woman on the planet. She is gorgeous, but on top of that, there’s something beguiling about the angles of her face.

What’s this thing that clicks in your head telling you that Kate Moss’s face is more interesting than her daughter’s? It’s an intrusive thought: her skull shape is pleasing, let your eyes linger. A command: you will not forget that face. 

Iman has it. Look at her. On meeting Iman, Bowie said: "I was naming the children the night we met... it was absolutely immediate." How many beautiful women had Bowie met in his life? How many had this effect?

Can you imagine trying to keep David Bowie or Bob Dylan interested in what you’re saying? Or Madonna? Or Michael Jordan? Most of us do not have a single thought in our head which would be of interest to these people. The models I listed earlier transfixed them. Mick Jagger could have romanced every woman on the planet - but he only wanted Jerry Hall (pls disregard affairs so I can make my point). 

When a model hooks up with an artistic genius, it’s illogical to assume she’s vapid or that the icon is with her for shallow reasons. What we should assume is that she is the most interesting woman that icon has crossed paths with in a long time - which would make her very interesting indeed.

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Glamming our Top Fashion Tuesday is top model Irina Shayk.⁠ Just in case you don't remember she is one of the VS Angels, we started with when we opened our IG account. On th eVS runway.⁠ ⁠⁠ This photo is a crazy green vision brought to life by Creative Director @harrynuriev for Vogue Russia (@voguerussia) March cover.⁠ ⁠ ⁠ Model: @irinashayk⁠ Photo 📸 @arsenyjabiev⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ 👇 Which fashion icon or up-and-comer do you think deserves to be featured next? Tag them here👇⁠ ⁠⁠ For more high fashion looks, trends, and talent, follow us now and become a #PontikFan.⁠ ⁠ Entertainment, Music, Fashion, Concerts, Trends & Lifestyle News - Pontik.com⁠ ⁠ #pontik #photoshoot #modeling #fashioncover #glam⁠ ⁠ #entertainment #fashion #trend #trends #lifestyle ⁠ ⁠ #models #style #fashionista #model #fashionable #fashionaddict #fashiongram #fashionstyle #fashionlover #modelo #moda #modafeminina #fashionmagazine #topmodel⁠ #fashionmodel #fashionshoot #fashionphotographer #highfashion #diva⁠ (at Moscow, Russia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL7utO2HmfD/?igshid=1ued7qkhrxqr8

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Irina Shayk Rocks Burberry Jumpsuit In Nyc Following Rendezvous With Kanye West

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The name of the buckle bag is because of the bright ring buckle of the bag, so as to extol the brand’s traditional trench coat. This British type commuter handbag, its stylish style and exquisite craftsmanship displays the worth a brand deserves. A selection of high-quality Mahler leather, a smooth curved bag with equestrian-style shoulder straps, steel buckles and studs embellished to create a trendy basic. Whether you are shopping for a favorite fragrance, wanting to check out a new signature scent or in search of a present for someone special, CVS may help you simply shop for fragrances for him and her online. The selection of fragrances contains floral, citrus, fruity, woodsy, spicy and contemporary perfumes for ladies and colognes for males from top manufacturers. Shop On Carroll is an online and bodily charity retailer primarily based in Dunedin, specialising in preloved retro and classic clothing, antiques, homewares and accessories. Find out extra about our charity Presbyterian Support Otago here. Not to be confused with the shoulder-slung tote, this smaller grocery store accessory is handheld, often packable, and often is out there in nylon or PVC type — which implies they work properly within the rain, too. On the other hand, luxurious bags for women embrace backpacks, bucket baggage, clutches, crossbody luggage, hobos, messenger luggage, satchels, shoulder baggage, totes, wallets, and wristlets. With such all kinds of branded luggage available at Darveys, you can choose the ones that fit your wants and event. depurses There can also be a Replica Burberry Bags the belt bag made of calfskin, which can be the most offered type. The Burberry Belt bag assortment is crafted in pliable leather-based with a colourful palette and signature banding inspired by the brand’s signature Trench trench coat. As one of the fashionable and super-loving brands, Burberry’s windbreaker could be stated to be a man’s hand, especially the Trench series can be said to be the main merchandise within the spring and summer.

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Us, October 26

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The truth about Carrie Underwood’s darkest days 

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Izabel Goulart vs. Alyssa Diaz, Bridget Moynahan vs. Hilary Duff 

Page 6: Loose Talk -- North West on how she’d make the world a better place, Eva Mendes’ response to a social media troll who suggested that Ryan Gosling should take her out more, Stevie Nicks on whether Harry Styles would be her type if he were older, Adam Sandler on his pandemic beard, Dolly Parton on posing for Playboy in honor of her 75th birthday in January 

Page 8: Contents 

Page 10: Hot Pics -- Prince William and Duchess Kate stepped in for Queen Elizabeth to meet with the president of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky and his wife at Buckingham Palace, Joe Manganiello does his best impression of Rafiki holding up Simba with his own pup Bubbles at an Archenemy screening in Montclair, Macaulay Culkin sent the internet wild when he shared this photo of himself in a mask featuring his iconic wide-mouthed expression from Home Alone 

Page 12: Venus Williams turns heads in a bold Louis Vuitton ensemble at the brand’s spring-summer 2021 runway show in Paris, Lily-Rose Depp and her mom Vanessa Paradis at the Chanel show in Paris, Tom Cruise films a scene in a car for Mission: Impossible 7 in Rome 

Page 13: Sarah Jessica Parker working at her SJP collection store in NYC, Jordan Fisher steps out for fresh air in L.A., Jeannie Mai 

Page 14: Kaley Cuoco and costar Michelle Gomez on the streets of the Big Apple filming scenes for their new series The Flight Attendant, Machine Gun Kelly with girlfriend Megan Fox 

Page 15: Christina Aguilera and daughter Summer kick off spooky season at the 2020 Nights of the Jack Friends & Family Night in Calabasas, director Steve McQueen and Letitia Wright greet each other at the London Film Festival premiere of Mangrove 

Page 16: Rise and Grind -- caffeine-lovers need their morning fix -- Tan France, Ireland Baldwin in L.A., Jenna Fischer, Nick Viall, Peyton List running errands in L.A. 

Page 18: Khaki Craze -- celebs sport fall’s hottest trend -- John Krasinski filming Jack Ryan in Rome, Maisie Williams and Reuben Selby are color-coordinated in Dior during Paris Fashion Week, Irina Shayk works it for Boss in Milan, Olivia Palermo in Milan, Suki Waterhouse in Milan, Little Mix Jesy Nelson and Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Perrie Edwards and Jade Thirlwall in London 

Page 20: Petal Pushers -- these stars and flowers are a bunch of beauties -- David Beckham, Simone Biles and sunflowers, Madelaine Petsch and poppies, Hilarie Burton on Mischief Farm in Rhinebeck, NY 

Page 21: Jessica Chastain in the sunflower field, Yolanda Hadid and lavender, Travis Scott and daughter Stormi wander in the flower fields 

Page 22: Stars They’re Just Like Us -- Jessica Simpson works out, Garrett Hedlund plays tennis, Tyler the Creator dines out

Page 24: Love Lives -- For Artem Chigvintsev watching fiancee Nikki Bella’s postpartum depression was difficult 

Page 25: Camila Cabello is Shawn Mendes’ biggest fan, Kelly Rowland is expecting her second child with husband Tim Weatherspoon, Alec Baldwin and wife Hilaria Baldwin never bicker when it comes to parenting 

Page 26: Hot Hollywood -- Just weeks after calling off their short-lived engagement Max Ehrich’s team picked up his belongings from Demi Lovato’s house including the engagement ring he proposed with in July -- Max who is currently filming a movie in Atlanta is heartbroken about the split while Demi isn’t looking back and she’s acting as if she was never engaged to Max and that their relationship never happened

Page 27: It’s been nearly 10 years since Jessica Simpson last released an album but a comeback is on the horizon and she’s been working on new music and she realizes her past hits are too old for audiences to relate to so she’s focused on making more current tunes, Kim Kardashian West flaunted her hourglass figure for the first issue of Grazia USA and inside got candid about her challenging year, Katie Holmes and Emilio Vitolo Jr. are showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon and the pair are like young teens in love when they’re together and it shows -- Emilio lights up around Katie and whenever he’s asked about her he blushes and smiles -- the chef’s loved ones have also given Katie their stamps of approval 

Page 28: A Day in the Life -- Ruby Rose 

Page 29: When longtime Dancing With the Stars hosts Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews were replaced with Tyra Banks many were skeptical about the choice but ABC producers had high hopes but now nearly halfway through the season Tyra’s job may be under fire especially after she announced the wrong bottom two couples during Week 4 -- it’s not going well because Tyra thinks she has so much experience hosting she doesn’t have to prepare and she’s also terrible at taking any feedback or constructive criticism

Page 30: Cover Story -- Carrie Underwood stronger than ever -- the country music superstar is opening up about her trials and tribulations and how she made it back from the brink 

Page 34: How legendary supermodel Cindy Crawford stays in tip-top shape 

Page 35: Like mother, like daughter -- Kaia Gerber’s a chip off the old block in the health and wellness department 

Page 36: Marion Cotillard takes us behind the scenes of her first campaign as the face of Chanel No. 5 

Page 38: Kristin Chenoweth shares scary good secrets for hosting the holiday 

Page 42: Us Musts -- Shea and Syd McGee bring their unique aesthetic to hopeful clients in a new Netflix series Dream Home Makeover 

Page 46: Fashion Police -- Mayim Bialik edition -- the Blossom alum looks back at her style choices from the ‘80s and ‘90s 

Page 48: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Ben Feldman 

[tabloidtoc]

Us, August 17

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Ellen DeGeneres is finished -- who will steal her show? 

Page 1: First Look -- Sarah Jessica Parker at the reopening of her SJP Collection store in midtown Manhattan 

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Madeline Brewer vs. Maya Jama, Irina Shayk vs. Olivia Culpo 

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Tyler Perry joking during an interview with Gayle King who asked about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle staying at his L.A. home, Kelly Clarkson on kids River and Remington’s plan to stop the recent earthquake in California, John Owen Lowe reacting to Gwyneth Paltrow’s admission on dad Rob Lowe’s podcast that his mom Sheryl Berkoff taught her how to perform oral sex, Rihanna on her iconic yellow 2015 Met Gala dress, Prince William on the worst gift he’s even given to his better half 

Page 8: Contents 

Page 10: Hot Pics -- Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian on a coffee date 

Page 11: Adele loves Beyonce’s new visual album Black Is King so much she even coordinated her outfit to watch it, Tracee Ellis Ross, Alessandra Ambrosio takes a dip in Malibu 

Page 12: Katy Perry enjoys a day at the beach weeks before her due date, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend and kids Luna and Miles, Christina Aguilera and son Max on an Airstream adventure 

Page 13: Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich PDA, President Barack Obama during his eulogy for Rep. John Lewis, Jessie James Decker and husband Eric Decker in Nashville 

Page 14: Trendy Tykes -- these famous kiddos dress to impress -- Ciara’s daughter Sienna, DJ Khaled’s son Aalam, Kourtney Kardashian’s daughter Penelope, Victoria Beckham’s daughter Harper 

Page 15: Blue Ivy Carter the daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z, Kylie Jenner’s daughter Stormi, Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka and twins Harper and Gideon, Cardi B and Offset’s daughter Kulture 

Page 16: Animal Planet -- pets steal the show from their celeb parents -- Ireland Baldwin and her dog Chikin, Salma Hayek and bunny Lullaby, Kat Dennings and her rescue cat Millie, Chris Evans and his dog Dodger, PLEASE ADOPT, DON’T SHOP 

Page 18: Stars They’re Just Like Us -- Dylan Sprouse and Barbara Palvin go out to eat, Elizabeth Banks goes hiking, Jesse Tyler Ferguson shops for food 

Page 19: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson bonds with his kids, Brooke Shields exercises, Lucy Hale grabs a drink to go, Ayesha Curry and husband Stephen Curry try paddleboarding 

Page 22: Hollywood Moms -- Lindsay Arnold on her first pregnancy 

Page 23: Jinger Duggar and Jeremy Vuolo’s daughter Felicity is ready to be a big sister, the stars of My Pregnant Husband welcomed baby Zayn in December, Katherine Schwarzenegger will share the values of forgiveness with her new baby 

Page 24: Love Lives -- Christina Milian and Matt Pokora vacay baes 

Page 25: Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas going strong, Thom Evans and Nicole Scherzinger only have eyes for each other, David Foster and wife Katharine McPhee are definitely trying for a baby 

Page 26: Hot Hollywood -- Days after her husband Kanye West publicly apologized for lashing out at her on Twitter Kim Kardashian went to Wyoming where Kanye’s been living to salvage their six-year marriage 

Page 27: Nikki Bella welcomed her first child with fiance Artem Chigvintsev less than 24 hours before her twin Brie Bella gave birth to a son with husband Daniel Bryan, Leah Remini is continuing her crusade against the Church of Scientology and targeting the religion’s poster child Tom Cruise, Ex-cellent Pairings -- former lovers make good pals; just ask these stars -- Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa, Christina Anstead and Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae Young, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin and Brad Falchuk and Dakota Johnson 

Page 28: A Day in the Life -- Jerry O’Connell 

Page 29: Angelina Jolie wants her children to have a better relationship with their dad Brad Pitt and has been advocating for a reconciliation between Brad and their oldest kids Maddox and Pax and to a lesser degree Zahara, Britney Spears’ siblings Bryan and Jamie Lynn and mother Lynne are joining the #FreeBritney movement which advocates for the end of her dad Jamie’s conservatorship over Britney 

Page 30: No Stress Zone -- stars share their tips on how to relax and rewind -- Paula Abdul, Garcelle Beauvais, Kristin Cavallari, Christina Anstead, Dax Shepard has been having vegan ice cream picnics with his girls 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Ellen DeGeneres: From Bad to Worse -- after multiple allegations of workplace toxicity Ellen’s time at the top of the talk-show game may be over and there’s a long list of stars who could take her job 

Page 36: Prince Harry -- always the spare part -- the real reason Harry defected was to get away from Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton 

Page 38: Living -- what’s hot right now 

Page 40: Beauty -- Mist Opportunity 

Page 42: Us Musts -- Stephenie Meyer on Midnight Sun 

Page 43: Meet the roomies of Five Bedrooms

Page 46: Fashion Police -- polka dot edition -- Emma Kenney, Lake Bell, Erika Christensen 

Page 47: Alison Brie, Monica, Keltie Knight 

Page 48: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Olivia Culpo