#ireallyhatestuartlittle

[forgottenlittlejun3bu6]

I HATE STUART LITTLE

Alrighty, let’s me break down why Stuart Little is a menace to society, a lil bitch, and worst of all, a RAT. 1. This rat's got privilege. This tiny rat really pulled up to an adoption center and got picked over literal human children. Like, dude.. The family took one look at the lineup of actual kids and went, “Nah, let’s roll with the small rat in a turtleneck.” Peak nepotism, he's literally a trust fund baby in rodent form. 2. He’s a walking menace to society. Stuart is out here driving cars, flying planes, and breaking every law in the Geneva Convention while I can barely afford gas money. Who gave this RAT a license?? He’s out here committing vehicular manslaughter, and nobody’s saying a thing ‘cause he’s “cute.” If you or I did that, it’s jail time. 3. Not even a cool mouse. If Stuart ever had to square up with Remy from Ratatouille, it wouldn’t even be close to fair. Remy's a street rat, Remy would absolutely clobber Stuart. Remy’s from the streets—he knows hard work and built himself up from nothing to run a successful restaurant. Meanwhile, Stuart’s just been handed everything on a silver platter, never working for anything in his life. Stuart’s not only soft, he’s a fake lil’ bitch who wouldn’t last a second in the real world.

4. The poor human kid. Imagine being the kid in Stuart Little and your parents sit you down, all excited, saying they’re getting you a new sibling. You’re thinking, “Cool, maybe a little brother or sister to hang out with.” But then they come home with a rat who can drive a freaking convertible. Like, excuse me? How do you explain that to your friends? “Yeah, this is my brother, Stuart. He’s a mouse.” How the fuck are you supposed to compete with a talking rat?? 5. Useless in general. Why the hell did they let a 2-inch rat join a soccer team? Realistically, What’s Stuart gonna do, sneak in and steal the ball??? The only thing he’d be good for is providing a really entertaining halftime show while he gets absolutely clobbered on the field by a bunch of kids chasing after a ball. One wrong move and this little fucker is getting trampled 6. I wish he drowned. Honestly, Stuart should’ve just drowned in the washing machine. That's all I gotta say about this part. 7. How does he have a more interesting life than literally anyone to ever exist?? Seriously, how the fuck does this rat have a more interesting life than me? I’m over here just trying to make it through the day, and meanwhile, Stuart is out here cruising around in a convertible, going on wild adventures, and making friends with birds and other woodland creatures, AND HE'S RICH. Like, what kind of fairy tale bullshit is this?

I rest my case.