#ioan was such a perfect young horatio

[aragarna]

Ioan Gruffudd as Horatio Hornblower (Hornblower 1x02)

[hms-lurking-latinist]

Oh man. Let me see if I can explain my awful baby son.

This is Horatio Hornblower, a name which he confesses with a desperate stammer when forced to introduce himself at his new job (being in the Royal Navy). He lives during the Napoleonic Wars.

As you can see, he takes "soaking wet and pathetic" very literally. This is how he is introduced in the show.

He is seventeen. You were supposed to start learning to be a sailor at twelve. He was at school being good at math instead. Within, like, weeks after joining his new ship, he is trying to duel the senior officer who's bullying him on the theory that one of them will die, and either way he'll be out of it. He does not get any better adjusted from there.

He originates from a series of books written in the mid-20th century, but my favorite version of him is the 1990s-2000s adaptation (8 made-for-TV films starring Ioan Gruffudd). Most of his character traits hold true across versions, though.

He desperately wants to be the Perfect Naval Officer. Everyone around him agrees that he is pretty darn good. This is not good enough for him, and whenever he commits unforgiveable offenses like "having an emotion" or "existing in physical space" or "being tone-deaf" (he's tone-deaf, his first lieutenant has to tell him when the national anthem is being played) or "maybe being slightly concerned when there is about to be a battle" he berates himself violently in his internal monologue.

He is considerably less distressed by it when he commits war crimes--which he does, even by his own standards--mainly attacking under false colors, which you are not supposed to do. He also is heart and soul in the service of the British Empire, although the narrative is less self-aware about the implications there. He is occasionally accused of having revolutionary sympathies (he was born on July 4, 1776; and the French Revolution is ongoing in his youth) and he actually would make a very good revolutionary leader, personality-wise, except as mentioned, he is wholly dedicated to being the Perfect Naval Officer.

The Perfect Naval Officer slowly eats him alive.

He marries his first wife because she was nice to him and it got awkward. He does not love her, and in fact comes to resent her, but is resolved never to let her know this. They have three children together.

He may have pushed his abusive captain down a flight of steps. He certainly joined a mutinous conspiracy against that captain. This in no way affects his desire to become the Perfect Naval Officer.

He has the worst case of rejection-sensitive dysphoria I have ever seen in fiction.

He once was a prisoner of war and accidentally escaped. He then went back to the prison, because he had given his parole and therefore his honor was at stake.

A recurring pattern in the books (also in the show but the books cover more of his life) is that he wants something but feels guilty about what he would have to do to get it, and then reality bends over backward to give him the thing without the guilty action on his part, and he just stands there not knowing how to feel. This is how he marries his second wife.

As a young man he is invited to a fancy dinner and has to borrow a pair of stockings which are too big for his skinny stick legs. He stuffs them like a bra.

I have been meaning to make a textpost meme which will probably explain his unique brand of wretchedness better than this, so be on the lookout for that.

Oh, Paul McGann plays his best friend and lifelong companion, Lt. Bush. They meet in that mutinous conspiracy I mentioned.

Here he is drying off in the same episode :3

Despite the big sad eyes he is far more wet cat than kicked puppy.

What he really is though is a wet moth.

#im not immune to boys with big wet kitten eyes#the worst evil schemes ever concocted#and bottomless pits in place of a self#looking at my track record they might actually be the only kinda boy im not immune to

it's killing me what a good description this is of my latest blorbo. let me know if you ever want to get into boat movies

ive seen you talk about boats but i havent yet tried to figure out what you were talking about. if you felt like doing a little sales pitch, im all ears :)