#introvert kind of goes well if it wasn't for the shy part because i see them in a confident light or maybe i should give the

[oneroomjestershow]

now if i can't decide in who to draw im just going to let the miis decide

[enha-hype]

maeumi & me - ch 4 : first impression

a/n : don't forget to read the written chapter below!!

» synopsis : maeumi, your maltese pup, has been a huge part of your life ever since you first adopted him a few years ago. but little did you imagine that getting accepted into your dream university would mean having to leave him behind. heartbroken, you whine and lament to your friends about how unfair the situation is. whilst half-heartedly looking up foster homes maeumi could temporarily stay in, you're surprised when yang jungwon - a former schoolmate you'd hardly ever spoken to before - offers to take him in.

» pairing : yang jungwon x gn! reader

» genre : college au, social media au, pet parents au, fluff, strangers (kind of?) to friends to lovers, humour, a lil bit of angst

» warnings : swearing, jokes about death/suicide (kms/kys etc), mentions of pet injury/death

disclaimer : this is purely a work of fiction made for entertainment purposes only!

tag list : open [comment or send an ask to be added <3] @hiqhkey @i-yeseo @harperwasstaken1

When you get to the park, Jungwon is already there waiting for you. He waves when he sees you and you smile and wave back as you walk towards the bench where he's seated. It's been years since you properly met him but it would be hard not to recognise that dimpled grin of his, even from a distance.

“Have you been waiting long?” you ask Jungwon as Maeumi sniffs around his legs.

“No no not at all y/n,” he reassures you and bends down to scratch Maeumi's ears. “Hello there little guy! My oh my, you are really adorable aren't you!” the baby voice he uses to address him makes you smile. A dog person indeed.

Maeumi licks Jungwon's hands in response, clearly loving the attention.

“Looks like you two need no introduction,” you laugh, taking a seat beside him. You unhook Maeumi's leash so he can run around and play with the other dogs. He stays for a minute longer, sprawled on his back as Jungwon rubs his belly, and then he runs off leaving the two of you in an awkward silence. You aren't an introvert - more of an ambivert, to be exact - but first meetings are always tricky. You see Jungwon fidgeting with his hands and decide the silence will only get worse if you let it continue any longer.

“Hey um I know I said already this but thank you so much for doing this, it really means a lot, Jungwon,”

“Oh no it's my pleasure, really. I mean it sucks that you two have to live apart and everything but I sure am gonna have fun with Maeumi,” he replies, a fake-smug smile playing on his lips.

“Or you'll get tired of his shenanigans in a few days and beg me to take him back,” you quip and he laughs.

You steal a quick look at Maeumi to make sure he's staying out of trouble, because well, you had only been half-joking about the shenanigans – Maeumi was bound to get quite mischievous at times. He's doing fine so far – someone has just thrown a frisbee and he's running to catch it along with a few other dogs. You turn your attention back to Jungwon. You notice that he's not big on eye-contact but don't think much of it, assuming he's a little on the shy side. But what you don't know is that every time his eyes meet yours, his heart goes into a frenzy. He is not used to seeing you this close, much less actually having a conversation with you, and he's trying hard not to do or say anything embarrassing.

“So Jungwon, how come you don't have a pet?”

The question seems like something he wasn't expecting. His eyebrows scrunch together in an adorable way as he tries to think of how to answer. Wait what, adorable? No. You mean– not that it wasn't adorable, just that– Anyway, that didn't matter.

“Huh wow, I haven't really thought about it. But you know, now that I do, I guess I kinda know why...” he looks a bit sheepish as he says it.

“Can I know why? I mean, if you don't mind telling me that is,”

“Of course not y/n,” he looks almost surprised that you'd think he wouldn't want to tell you and it makes you smile. “You see, I grew up with my grandparents,” he begins, and it seems that all shyness has been momentarily forgotten, for he now sat facing you – his body slightly turned and elbow resting on the backrest, “because my parents were pretty busy with work most of the time. And my grandparents, they had a Pomeranian called Haru and I used to spend 24/7 with her. And since I was so little and basically grew up alongside her, I got super attached and uh, it kind of really affected me a lot when she passed away,”

“Ah. I'm so sorry, that must've been really hard,”

“It was, back then. But it's alright now, it's all in the past,” he smiles, albeit a little sadly, and then as if suddenly realising how close he's sitting to you with his knees touching yours, he turns away flustered and sits up straight facing the park again.

You try not to smile at how cute it was.

Clearing his throat, he continues, “Anyway yeah I think that's probably the reason. The idea of having a dog does seem appealing but I don't think I'm ready to lose another just yet. I know I know, it's a part of life and I have to get used to it and all that,”

“It's okay, you can take your time,” you place a hand on his knee and reassure him with a smile. Then you glance over at Maeumi again and your smile vanishes. “Oh gosh, Maeumi!” you rush over to him.

The owner of the frisbee is trying to pry it away from in between Maeumi's tightly clenched teeth.

“Maeumi, drop it,” you order, and he looks at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes with no intention of letting go. “Maeumi, let go!!” you say again, louder this time as you tug at the frisbee – but it's no use. Then from the corner of your eye, you notice Jungwon walking away and briefly wonder if he's leaving because he's decided he doesn't wish to take care of such a disobedient dog, but then he stops in front of an old couple seated two benches away. He says something to them and they hand him something, and he returns with a couple of bone-shaped treat biscuits and you breathe a sigh of relief.

“Hey Maeumi, you want this?” he dangles one in front of Maeumi's nose and the latter immediately drops the frisbee and goes after Jungwon, who runs in the opposite direction. You make a mental note to make it up to him.

Turning back, you return the frisbee to the kind young man it belongs to while apologising profusely. Fortunately, he does not appear mad.

As you make your way back to Jungwon and your misbehaving son, you fret about how he most certainly does not seem to be making a good impression on his to-be parent. You're halfway to them when to your absolute horror and mortification, Maeumi mounts Jungwon's leg to hump him. “Maeumi, NO!!!”

Jungwon just steps back with an amused and a much calmer “no, Maeumi.”

But your pet, who has apparently decided to do everything in his power to embarrass you today, steps forward to mount him again. Thankfully, you've reached them by now and you hurry to attach the leash to Maeumi's collar and lightly tug at it with a stern no. He finally gives up and turns away.

Covering your flushed face with your free hand, you turn to Jungwon. “I am so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into him today,”

But he's too busy laughing to respond, and he laughs all the way back to the entrance, and while saying goodbye.

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[forcebewitht]

Force's Disney Geek Master Theory: Why Twisted Wonderland Is Called Twisted Wonderland

We have all grown to know and love various Disney characters over the years, correct? Yet, I believe a lot of us can argue that not many characters have the same effect on us even as adults today as the Villains do within their respective movies. In the game Disney: Twisted Wonderland as we all know and love, the select boys to Overblot are supposed to have the "souls" of their Villain counterparts, right? But...why is it called "Twisted" Wonderland, then? The truth may lie within something that has been right in front of us all along, my friends: the meaning of a mirror. Ready to buckle in for this one? If so, then here we go!

We have seen all of these guys share character traits, looks, etc with their Disney counterparts, correct? Well, what if I were to tell you that things in terms of the "main" guys that we are supposed to pay attention to aren't exactly what they seem? This could be analyzed in a few different ways, honestly, yet the most prominent way is this: the differences in their personalities- they are reversed. Let us take this bit by bit, shall we?

Ah, yes. The Queen Of Hearts. The ranting, raging, bundle of red, black, and gold we all know and love. (or else heads would roll, I'm sure) One of the things that everybody knows about her is that she's extremely hellbent on the crazy rules that she makes up and is prone to anger honestly very easily. Yeah, you can connect that to Riddle- but think about it for a second. While that rage and the rule thing is still there, it isn't as prominent with him as it was with her, is it? With the Queen of Hearts, her whole "issue" was that she wished to make everybody listen to her and follow her every command- but Riddle was essentially always following the rules of another- not his own. This seemed to make Riddle a little more calm most of the time in terms of how he handled and oversaw things. It wasn't until he actually Overblotted that the "listen to me and only me" thing came out- buuuuuuttttttt I'll get to that part in a bit.

Next: Leona and Scar. While we honestly didn't get to see a lot of what went on behind the scenes in the Outlands in terms of how Scar even met the hyenas to begin with at all, one thing can honestly be said- Scar worked very hard to get where he was. I mean, it's not like you can get an entire pack of rabid, hungry hyenas onto your side in the course of a single day, or maybe even a week (especially as a lion, no less). No, something to that extreme takes careful planning, wording, and stringing along to ensure that nothing goes wrong along the way. The way Scar spoke to Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed made it seem as though he had known them for a looooonngggg time before this- that's where that behind the scenes planning comes in. And then...you have Leona. Leona, from what we can tell in Chapter 2, planned the idea for the "endgame" alright- but he didn't actually act upon any of the plan for himself. Ruggie did. Even in the Lion King, we see that Scar had no problems whatsoever getting his paws dirty a little within his own scheme to take his "rightful place" at the head of Pride Rock- but Leona quite honestly did not a thing once Ruggie was in motion. See where this is starting to head?

Azul and Ursula. Ursula, the Disney baddie queen of my heart Ursula, the Sea Witch. She was known all around the ocean floor for helping out poor little merfolk in secret, wasn't she? Yet, nobody ever really seemed to catch wind of the whole "her turning those who didn't quite fit the bill into polyps" thing, did they? That was one of the things that made her such a honest threat to Ariel herself- because Ursula was cunning. She did things behind the scenes, and sure- we could catch onto it out in the audience (annnddd maybe Sebastian and Flounder as well), but nobody else really seemed to, right? Azul is the complete opposite in this standpoint. He instills direct fear into his "workers" and those even beyond and within his dorm. Like- basically most knew that this dude was bad news to begin with. Azul, mostly, seemed to hide his cunning facade behind a fake yet still seemingly "soft and genuine" smile and act. But all in all, he didn't really attempt to "hide" anything- hell, he even proclaimed his entire plan of what everyone with those things on their heads were gonna do for him in the open! At least when Ursula sang as Vanessa, she was in an almost perfectly enclosed room with nobody else around.

Jamil and Jafar. This comparison here, given what occurs in the movie Aladdin, is honestly one of the biggest possible indicators of this reoccuring theme I shall clarify in a bit. Jafar, while being sneaky, was known for being a more "out there" Disney Villain in terms of his personality alongside that of his partner Iago in the film. He would smile in a sinister way, he would crack jokes out in the open, and let us not forget his crazed yet oddly interesting laughter. Jamil? He's the exact opposite. Given his past and what he has had to dealt with growing up with Kalim, he is much more reserved and barely releases a chuckle or cracks a smile at all. His personality is a lot more repressed than that of Jafar himself throughout the film. Jamil has been so used to having to hold himself back thanks to his parents in favor of Kalim's family, he doesn't seem to know how to "let go" whatsoever. Yet Jafar, while still maintaining that sneaky side of him as well, has no problems whatsoever letting a little hang loose whenever he so chooses to.

Vil and the Evil Queen. This one honestly may be a bit more self explanatory than the others- but the difference between these two is their expressions of themselves. The Evil Queen was the very first animated counted Disney Villain within Disney's history- yet, she barely had any lines throughout the film at all. Her ranges of expression were almost little to none thanks to the era in which the movie was released in- but she always looked like she was pissed, huh? Vil is the exact opposite of her in this sense. He is able to fully express himself through his various facial expressions, theatrical abilities, musical experiences, fashion style, and even how he behaves. Vil is able to do so much more than the Evil Queen did or could do within that time period, that it's almost a little staggering if you fully picture it.

Idia and Hades. Now, now. We haven't honestly seen too much of the flaming blue boy yet in TWST, but one thing is apparent here right off the bat- in terms of his personality? He is the exact opposite of Hades. Idia is much like Jamil but to a more "geek" degree- he's extremely introverted, shy, a bit snippy, yet mainly keeps to himself and his gaming tech. Hades is most often renowned as the Disney Villain with the most personality- and the best humor. Hades has no problem whatsoever being "out there" with his crazy puns, sassy remarks, anger, and even mocking behavior. I mean, please, guys- I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat!

Finally, Malleus and Maleficent. Ooooohoooooooo boy. We have to count out the live action movie Maleficent for this one (sorry horned queen fans). One thing that basically everybody even with their toe in the water in that of Disney movies kind of knows this fact- Maleficent is c r u el. She's got a bizarre set of dark powers and an even blacker heart than that. Hell, we basically had to "soften her up" a little bit in Maleficent thanks to just how seemingly irredeemable her character is in that of Sleeping Beauty. I mean, c'mon now- cursing an infant? And we get no explanation for that in the original? C'mon, now. Anyways, Malleus? As we all can tell by now, this dude is the compleeettteeeeeee opposite. Sure, he has those repressed bits here and there too, but it is evident that this dude has a heart crying out for the MC and it is big, bold, and golden to the core once you look past how he looks. He sent the MC a card for winter break, for crying out loud. Yeah, let me know the next time you see Maleficent do that smh.

Now, I have avoided using a certain word up until this point to see if anybody could catch on to what exactly is happening here. Did you figure it out? Reverse. The boys that either have Overblotted already or intend to Overblot soon stop holding out on us, Chapter 6 have had the exact opposite personalities compared to that of their Villain counterpart- until one prime point in their "character arcs". Their Overblot.

Riddle wished to have all bow before him and obey his rules.

Leona led his entire dorm into ruin and nearly sanded away the entire school in the process.

Azul let himself finally free of his personal shackles entirely and "took what was his".

Jamil finally let himself go and opened up more in his personality, almost seeming to be driven insane in the process.

Vil wanted to become the most beautiful one of all and would kill anyone within the way of that goal without any hesitation whatsoever.

The moment that the boys' Overblotted, that was the exact moment when the "soul" of their Disney Villain counterpart took control. Keeping that idea in mind, that should mean that this will happen in the upcoming chapters and their Overblots:

Idia will show off all of the personality, powers, and intelligence that he has been keeping down within this introverted self of his.

Malleus will become so broken by being left out and alone in the cold for the final time that he will turn into a completely cruel Fae and possibly nearly kill either the MC or the representation of Prince Philip within that Chapter in the process.

(Hello, my dear Readers! Guess who is trying to get back into her bigger pieces of writing? This gal right here~ feel free to drop a comment and tell me what you think of this theory- I'd love to hear your thoughts! 💕)

[mannatea]

Hi. I used to follow your old blog on a different account. Hope you're doing well. Do you have any tips on thinking up stories that are *not* dark and depressing due to subject material? The last story I was working on I had to quit because the backstory I was developing for my passive male character was super depressing. At times I enjoyed researching it, though what won out was the thought I was wasting my time looking into angsty things for something I wasn't even planning to publish. Now I want to write something a little happier. But I have the most experience in writing angst and cringe comedy 😅 thanks for any help you can give. Stay safe out there!

By the way, good on you for dropping that manga you used to follow. I was happy most of the characters lived, but other than that, it felt "meh" to me (granted, I didn't read all the way from the beginning). The author was probably going for a "people will always be fighting each other" theme, but some of the imagery of what happened after a time skip could definitely be taken as pro-fascist. And I was disappointed the protagonist basically said he wanted to bring about destruction! I'm glad I didn't spend any money to read it.

Wow, hi! I’m doing all right, thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing all right, too. :)

As far as “that manga” goes, I’ve kept tabs on it. I’ve been on the fringes for the last two-ish years; I dedicated something like four real life years to that fandom and mostly had a good time while I was there (made some friends I hope to keep for life), so it was one of those situations where I just had to find out how it ended. I realized at some point that I was in a very negative space in the fandom, and felt it was better to publicly drop the series and the blog associated with all of my meta/discussion than to play in what had become a toxic pool for me. I didn’t really want to drop the account after my time there, but I couldn’t have dealt with the nonstop questions/messages/etc that would have piled in over the years, and eh, when you’re done you’re done. I criticize Hallmark television for fun, now, instead. It’s a lot less stressful! And literally nothing is That Deep so there’s very few delusions, at least on the Tumblr side of things. (Reddit, however, is insane, but I don’t post in the fandom there.)

As far as writing advice goes, I am going to apologize in advance for muddled thoughts. I just got out of work and have been staring at numbers all day, so it’s hard for me to think lmaoo.

In my opinion, any sort of character or personality type/flaw/whatever could have developed via a negative OR positive influence/catalyst, so that’s something to consider. I also think people tend to reach for “sad” or “traumatic” pasts either as a way to cope with their own issues/pasts/whatevers, or because it’s the “easy explanation” for why a character is the way they are.

If you WANT to write things a certain way, it’s sometimes a matter of changing the lens through which you’re viewing life, the story, the characters, or character writing in general. This is never easy, especially when you find a genre you feel comfortable in, but it’s always possible. When I was in college and submitted an autobiographical piece (Rot Tooth) for a creative writing final, I received multiple comments from classmates and even the professor that my talent/skill was in writing comedy. COMEDY!!!! I don’t think anyone who has read my writing from the last decade would say that I was a comedy writer. I stopped labeling ‘fics as humor/romance so long ago I can’t even remember when it was. But boom. I had written a comedy piece.

I don’t think I can ignore that most of the comedic elements in Rot Tooth were brought about because humor is one of the ways in which I cope with things, but it was also a very conscious choice I made. I wanted people to be able to engage with the story without being grossed out, without getting bored, without feeling that it was a poor-pathetic-me story, and humor was the classiest way to do it. Here, read this long story that includes journal entries from Ye Olde Livejournal days, but it will make you laugh often enough that the depressing aspects of the story don’t weigh it down too much! It was probably the only way to make the subject matter widely palatable. 

As often as I joke about characters or scenes or moments that “just write themselves” the author does have control. I mostly write fanfiction, so let’s go with examples from that.

I’m (very slowly) working on a ‘fic called Three Years which features a character who, when last seen, was headed off to serve a prison sentence. They haven’t been on the show for three years and thus I assume they have been serving that sentence for the last three years. The story starts when this character is released from prison. They are a woman. This is a historical piece of fiction. Prisons were vile to women and yet...this is fiction. I have a choice. I get to choose. Does she get to start her life off carrying 25 bags of trauma or just 2? It would be unreasonable to expect that someone, especially a woman, who was imprisoned for 3 years in the early 1900s wouldn’t have some issues (at the very least, the isolation would have been awful), but it doesn’t really have to be much worse than that. It doesn’t.

I have the power to choose.

A character has anger issues. Sure, he could have had a traumatic past with an abusive parent who took his anger out on him or his mom or whatever...or maybe it is an inherited personality trait and the parent figure with the problem was never really That Bad about it, but seeing it normalized makes it harder for the character in question to realize it’s a huge problem and part of their character arc is realizing they need to get help, not because they don’t want to be like their dad, and not because they hate their dad, but because they just want to be a better person/they don’t want to let that struggle consume them.

Someone’s sweetheart goes off to war. Guess what? They don’t have to die there to force a traumatic past. They don’t have to come back a raging alcoholic either. Maybe the time apart, and the time fighting a war just puts a natural sort of crack in the relationship by making it clearer to each character what they want in life/what matters to them in their life.

A character is super passionate about their work/hobby. Maybe they have ADHD and it’s a hyperfixation. Maybe they’re autistic and it’s a Special Interest. It doesn’t have to be “their parents ignored them and forced them to be alone all the time and they used this thing to cope so it means everything to them because it’s always been there.”

Maybe you have a character whose greatest fear is losing the people they love. It doesn’t have to be because a pet died in their arms when they were four and it traumatized them. It doesn’t have to be because they only have one person they love in the whole world. It can just be a thing because that’s a valid fear literally anyone can reasonably have, and maybe it’s a bigger deal because they don’t have siblings or aren’t close to many people! (And the “aren’t close to many people” thing doesn’t have to stem from trauma, either. Most busy adults for example who get to choose their friends, are just like that.)

A perfectionist might just have the personality type; it doesn’t mean their parents criticized everything they ever did. A person with three failed marriages might hesitate to fall in love and try again but it doesn’t have to be because those three failed marriages were abusive. A quiet character may just be shy or introverted by nature. 

I think everyone carries some kind of trauma with them, so it’s never unreasonable to have some in a person’s past (you can’t write an ugly character without having to think about the fact that they carry some trauma from what it’s like to grow up ugly), but it doesn’t have to define them. It doesn’t have to overshadow everything else in their past.

You can always ask yourself, “Why am I reaching for angst every time I create a backstory?” Literally everyone has some kind of angst. Most kids were hurt by things said to them in school, for example, or made fun of for some reason. Most people did something extremely embarrassing as a kid and never got over it. There are a thousand little moments in our adult lives that go back to these little points—you might call them the tiny traumas. But they’re not defining. They’re not so heavy they also live in the present. Not all of them.

Why do you reach for the darkest corner? Why not for the light? Or a middle ground?

I encourage people to write basically whatever floats their boat, but it sounds like you’re at a point where you just feel weighed down by that sort of stuff, and that’s not a great way to feel, especially when it discourages you from working on a project entirely.

My final suggestion: look at some of your favorite characters from various types of media. Are they all traumatized? What are their defining characteristics? Black Beauty has some depressing stuff in it, but is ultimately a story with a happy ending. Pride and Prejudice has drama, but nobody’s past is filled with the darkest stuff imaginable. North and South has awful things to consider in it (cotton mills were sooo awful) but the characters are not wildly traumatized people.

What kind of story are you trying to tell? Do the characters need to be traumatized to tell it? Does the story have to be dark to get across the message you want to send? 

Way back in the day, when I was into “that manga” I made an RP blog for a one-off character that nobody gave a damn about. Like, he was so one-off that even back in those days nobody even remembered him having existed. It was sort of a joke RP blog that wasn’t supposed to be serious. The only canon information we had about this character was that he enjoyed drinking. I decided to make him a lighthearted character because the series was pretty dark and I wanted to send people hilarious starters instead of wading through the muck of depression with everyone else’s sad, abused characters. I decided his family was old money and he had a brother. Nothing super traumatizing in his past. Some family issues but not the sort of thing that would haunt anyone. He was not traumatized in his recent past any more than other characters were. Mostly just “a regular guy.” I really loved RPing him. He was fun! The story could get heavy but he didn’t have to be.

Anyway, dive head-first into the dark angst if you want, but if it’s not necessary to tell the story you want to tell, just remember you don’t have to go there. You have the choice.

[thelearningcat]

This speaks to me on such a deep level.

I'm probably OPs other person (not in real life, but as in, I'm that kind of person).

I have trouble talking about myself in real ways and talking in intimate ways. To the point one of my oldest friends, we are talking I've known her since before 5th grade, has straight up called me out on it. She would send me something really sweet, and I wouldn't think to respond exactly to what she said, because I didn't think what I could respond was adequate in response. Yet I absolutely love this woman. I will never not make an effort to see her, even if it's only once a year, because I just have such pure enjoyment from being around her.

Once she told me what she was looking for, I was better able to communicate in a way that she could understand our relationship. However, part of that is from the fact I've known her for so long. I'm able to be more emotionally open to her, because we've weathered so much.

I like to think I'd do my best for anyone, but I also know I'm a prime example of an introvert in many ways. I am socially awkward, get exhausted from social interactions, and hate confrontation. I have very few close friends, because it is an emotional and mental investment anytime I spend time with people.

I also wouldn't be surprised if I also don't always communicate well enough when I do care for someone (in fact I know from the situation I mentioned above that I do not). However, I also know that I would be uncomfortable doing that with someone I wasn't sure reciprocated my level of caring.

Long story short, remember establishing relationships is a two way street. Remember that not everyone shares your communication style. People like myself, our time spent in social situations is precious. If you have a different communication style and feel that I (for example) am being unclear with my feelings, if you just ask me or tell me how you're feeling (in a kind way, no one likes a accusatory jerk), then I'm going to be more open with mine. If you clarify you're communication style, I can emulate when possible.

Some guides to understanding your emotionally unavailable introverts:

Socializing is awful. If this person seeks you out in a crowd and starts chatting with you and doesn't run away at the first sign the conversation is dying (or better yet, the conversation doesn't die naturally), they probably find you to be an interesting individual. They might be too shy to ask you to do something, but they will enthusiastically accept if you invite them to do something. Likewise, if this person actively goes to where you are even if it's out of their way (say they are your coworker) and talk about something other then work, then they probably think you're cool and maybe want to be more then coworker friends.

Socializing is emotionally and mentally exhausting. So I have to be strategic about how, where, and when I do socialization that is not required by the networking aspect of my career. I am not going to invest my time past a certain point, but I also keep a scheduled routine to assure I keep my sanity. So try to give people advance warning for hanging out. I need to assure I have the energy to put into socialization. Also, the less people the better. If you are constantly inviting me as part of a group, I'm not going to put much effort, because that's way too taxing. If I am consistently taking you up on invites no matter what, then I am extremely invested in our relationship

Just because I keep saying I'm busy, doesn't mean the opposite. It might just be the highly likely possibility that I'm busy. The trick more lies in whether I reciprocate and still touch base with you on occasion. If I invite you to do things and occasionally contact you to see how you're doing, then I probably want to be more then acquaintances. That said, me not putting in effort doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means I either haven't realized you are trying to be more then acquaintances or life is really hard at the moment and my brain is dead. Probably the former though.

Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.

Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?

And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run

But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually

Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.

Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!

[ofcloudyskies]

hiya, i hope you slept well! going through old messages and posts always brings back so many fond memories, but the bittersweet feeling of nostalgia that comes with all those memories can be overwhelming. i keep thinking of my old fandoms, too. even though i wasn't the most active user so to speak (what can i say, i'm an introvert, always have been hahaha), it was nice to come in here and ramble in the tags and post fics and share my excitement with the rest of the fandom. (1/3)

i've been in a bit of a reading slump lately. i may try reading "if we were villains", which has been on my tbr shelf for ages, and see if i can get back on track with that one. i'm super excited about ve schwab's new book, i have a feeling it's going to be one of my favorite reads of the year. actually, most of the books i want to read this year are coming out in october or september, oop. i'm looking at you "a deadly education", "piranesi" and "plain bad heroines". I CAN'T WAIT. (2/3)

oh, and i'm so excited about the grishaverse tv show as well!! jesper is my favorite boy in the books, but the casting for inej and kaz is AMAZING. to this day i still haven't got around to reading the shadow and bone trilogy, so i definitely need to do that before the show airs. (also, i do use goodreads, but just to keep track of my books - i literally have zero friends in there hahaha.) ahh, this got wordy. sorry! hope you had a nice day ♡ (3/3)

i’ll reply under the tab cause it’s gotten so long c:

hello, dear! i slept very well tonight, thank you! hope you did too x

ah, i guess i’m just going through a really difficult period of my life and my mind still considers this place a safe haven. indeed it is a bit bittersweet to be back because what i miss the most are the people i bonded with back then and it hurts to see some of them deactivated or inactive for a few years but life goes on and memories stay, right? and i understand, i enjoyed the fandom much more at the beginning when it was smaller and felt like a tight-knit community. then it grew enormously and i felt super shy too >< what other fandoms were you a part of before?

i also didn’t read much this year (and last year), my mind really can’t focus on too many things at a time. i have these periods when i only read books or only watch tv shows?? but we could read something together to get out of this slump if you’d be up for it! according to my goodreads “if we were villains” is also on my tbr since 2017 :d and deadly education has me super excited too! i love naomi novik, even though i only read uprooted before, i always wanted to read more from her

haha i just noticed that addie la rue, deadly education and piranesi have kind of the same black&gold style of covers and i'm all for it! 

oooh you have to read the shadow and bone!! it's definitely not as good as six of crows but i have a soft spot for this series nonetheless! that's where the grisha world started and i'm so happy that leigh bardugo continued with the universe. the darkling is a great villain and that's where you meet one of the fictional loves of my life, nikolai lantsov <3 but i definitely need a reread too, i read king of scars this year and i couldn't remember a thing that happened before >< 

if you want one friend on goodreads, feel welcome to add me (here) but no pressure ofc! i have some random people added there just to know what books are trendy these days haha

i hope you don't mind me rambling so much ajhdfhgd, this feels like writing a letter and i love letters :D 

[rubberduckyrye]

Edit: for the record I rbed this mostly because I liked the idea of chapter summaries being used to summarize what's going on but I feel the need to address something

It is true that a lack of feedback kills the creative process and fanfictions die because of it. People can cry about how you should write for yourself and audience feedback shouldn't matter, but the truth is that human beings are social creatures. Introverted, extroverted, whatever--by nature, human beings as the social creatures we are want to feel like we belong in our respective communities. If we are neglected, abused, or ignored by a community, of course it's discouraging.

Fanfic writers write fanfic not to just tell a story--that is what novels are for. Fanfiction being published is a sense of trying to contribute to a specific fannish community, to reach out and find peers who enjoyed the content like them, who enjoy their thoughts and opinions expressed in the fanfic. But when you reach out with a creative endeavor and you get ignored, it makes you feel like you're being outcasted. What that fannish community is saying to you, is no one thinks you belong here. Maybe some fanfic authors see writing fanfiction more like writing novels, which is excellent for them--but fanfic and fan work wasn't ever just about creation, it's about community as well.

With that said.

Of course, no one owes anyone feedback. You don't have to comment on a fanfic or even read it unless you're 100% comfortable with it. Just because someone is reaching out through their work doesn't mean you have to take the responsibility of answering it. Maybe you have a mental disorder, or you're just shy, or you're not in the mood: there are many valid reasons not to comment or read a fanfic.

No one should be forced to give feedback.

Instead, we should be reframing the way we've been treating this entire issue: Writers who want feedback aren't sensitive whiners just looking for validation and/or are using emotional blackmail to get it, and readers aren't mindlessly consuming fanfic or being too lazy to give feedback. Writers and readers are part of the same communities.

Writers, you need to realize that validation isn't everything; not everyone is going to like your work, not everyone is going to want to answer your attempt to belong in the fan community, and that's perfectly fine. You still belong in your fan community, even if you aren't connecting with people. There ARE people affected positively by your work, talking about how great it was with close friends. There are people waiting for it to be completed before they give you their final thoughts. There are people unable to comment who still enjoy your story thoroughly and would be upset if you quit halfway through. Hold yourself high, and finish your work. You never know who will need to read the kind of story you've created, even if they dont comment.

Readers, try to also remember that when an author wants validation, they most likely mean more do in a "am I doing good? Am I accepted in this community?" Over "please praise my writing skills or I won't write the next chapter." Try to understand that while you don't have to answer that call, your comment could make or break someone's entire day. The authors work hard on their work, they want someone to see or acknowledge that. If you're able, try following a "how to leave a comment" guide and leave a comment or two for creators. Again, you don't owe them it, it is not required, but do also keep in mind even a little bit of kindness goes a long way. I do stress not to comment out of guilt though. Comment out of love and joy, and nothing else. Be genuine and positive. It means so much more when a comment comes from the heart, so let it.

But most of all, to everyone: try to understand both sides to the story, and understand that most people aren't malicious. There are just desires and limitations that make it difficult for both sides of the story.

Try to understand that.

Does there exist an “notify when completed” button for AO3 fics? I strictly read completed works because my memory is bad enough that I forget everything about a fic between updates. There are some nice promising fics that I wish I could subscribe to get an email when they’re completed because checking all the time if anything on my reading list has been completed is annoying. If that makes sense, hahah. thanks in advance!

There’s no way to be notified only when a story is complete, but you can subscribe to a story and get email updates as each chapter is posted. That email will let you know whether the story is completed or not. The subject line will tell you which chapter number it is, and when you click in you’ll be notified of how many total chapters there are. If the numbers are the same, the work is complete.