#introspections on jacqui's mind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wily-one24 · 10 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @rowark (If "anyone who wants to" counts as tagging, and I am going to, so there. If that makes you angry, perhaps you need a nap?).

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 56.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,248,713.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The main ones I have written for include Profiler, Buffy, Firefly, Veronica Mars, Once Upon A Time.

And most recently Law and Order: SVU.

I have delved into other fandoms such as The Inside, Rizzoi and Isles, Supergirl, and Heroes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Memory Cloud - 1,413

Paint It Black - 1,320

The Blue Moon - 811 (it's the smut, isn't it? I know it, you pervs).

The Waning Moon - 783

Elmo's ABCs - 744

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. I respond to as many as possible. Especially if the fic is fresh. But I have responded to comments on fics that are months/years old. I do miss some comments, sometimes I'm busy and my brain says "I'll get to that later", but then my brain is... not perfect... and it forgets.

However, I love responding to comments. I have made friends in the comments. I have the best discussions in my comments.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, geez. Like, you're asking me, the Queen of Angst? There were LJ icons with "Jacqui + Angst = OTP". Maybe if I go by fandoms? Firefly's angstiest ending was "DIdn't Mean Nothin'", but also "Pieces" had a super angsty epilogue.

Veronica Mars' angstiest ending? I mean, they were mostly angst middles, weren't they? Super dark middles with hopeful endings. Veronica did bring out the optimist in me. She was so young, she deserves her life to improve after all the shit canon put her through. I guess if I had ever finished "Bitter Revenge" it would have been a tad angsty? But there would have been hope, becauses he would have had the baby!

Swan Queen, whoo. Um, OH YEAH, "You and Me (We Wanted It All)". HA, that was angst a'plenty. Even PIB and Memory Cloud had hopeful (if not happy) endings. But that one was... just some light angst for angst sake.

I mean I only have three fics with SVU, (two of which form part of a series), and only one of which is finished. BUT, I can with confidence say that "Wicked Game" ends pretty fucking bleakly and angstily.

(okay, so I went back to my VM fic masterlist on LJ, and whew, okay, so there's a whole bunch of "exploration" fics that don't necessarily change canon, just delve into it like "Neptune CA Mother's Club" deals with the shit poor mothers in Neptune, "Courting Disaster" devles into Logan's abuse, "The Tender Bruise" and "Bruises In the Mirror" were both angst fests that didn't end happily per se. Also, "The Ghost and Mrs Mars" was... not hopeful at all. Man, I *forgot* a LOT of them).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

🤣🤣🤣

Ok, let me think. I'm assuming we're not talking smut fics? LIke, happy endings? 'Cause I have a bunch of PWPs which could be considered 'happy'. But... let's say what a reasonable person might be called happy...

I think "Sleep Perchance" was pretty optimistic and its sequel "... To Dream" was set to end in a much more positive place than it began. "Whisky Bears" was just a fun fic, drunken fun on a spaceship. What more do you want? And "Boobs" was just silly.

"The Best Deceptions"!! That was such a good fluffy sweet fic. It's a WIP, so no ending, but still. OMG, I forgot this one. It's my only real non-angst fluff fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I used the laughing so hard I cried emoji too early, didn't I?

I mean, I would say usually not. I have spent decades in fandom and Once Upon A Time was the only fandom I got hate in.

A small amount for "The Blue Moon", because apparently there was a second 'Emma as a stripper' fic and I was accused of plagiarising, but this was later rescinded because the fics were totally different.

And also when someone decided to get really spiteful and tell me they lost all respect for me because I dared to find Emma sexy instead of fetishisizing Regina for all eternity.

OBVIOUSLY, the most intense hatred I got was for Paint It Black. The vilest, most bitter things were thrown at me. In the comments, in private messages. I got death threats. I had rape wished on me. I was told my kids should be taken away. I was accused of trying to lure in lesbians only to give them 'straight cock filled depravity".

Because there was a man in one sex scene. Meanwhile, it was never listed as a purely lesbian fic, and the two ladies have canonically HAD male romantic and sexual partners in the past. So... not sure what the huge vitriol was about.

I sure did learn to TAG PROPERLY after that, though. My god.

Get a grip, fandom, get a grip.

No other fandom has been that unhealthy. At least, not for me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. I have written both F/M and F/F. I have also written F/M/F, M/F/M, and F/F/F.

There's usually at least ONE woman involved. I have not, nor am I interested in writing M/M fics (boy parts iz icky).

Most readers find the scenes pretty hot. I tend to be descriptive and emotional when writing smut. Unless it's a PWP, there's usually a whole bunch of motivation and emotion involved. Even when it's a PWP there's usually a whole lot of characterisation in there.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I tend not to?

That said, I have written one.

It was a Heroes/Veronica Mars crossover, in which Sylar mistakes Veronica for his recently murdered (by his own hand, natch) girlfriend Elle and perhaps loses his very unstable mind over it a little. Leading to a slight case of kidnapping, Keith and Noah coupling up Buddy Cop style for some cross country chasing, super powered hijinx, and UBER ANGST. The tag line reads "What Happens when a Serial Killer and a Serial Victim Meet".

To be honest, it was kind of amazing and I loved it. It was working up to be Super Dubcon, but hadn't quite gotten there yet. I am sad that this remains a WIP. I would have loved to have finished this.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had some fics put on GoodReads, but they took them down when I asked them to.

I did have one of my fic scenes pretty much plagiarised in Firefly. What makes it worse is that they used it for a couple I hate. I let it go, though. That fic never quite got the same steam mine did. There was no point giving it attention.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of. I think it has been asked before, but I am a little wary of that sort of thing. I lose control of it if other people change it.

That said, I have had comments on my fics in a completely different language and I used Google Translate to both understand and reply. I will make the effort.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

I am jaded. I am very particular about my fics and, as said above, I do not like to lose control over them (what, control issues? Who? Me?)

I am also heavily jaded for things like fic swaps. It's my own fault, I realise this, because I would put so much effort and write thousands upon thousands of words of fic and get a 500 word piece back and it really put me off. Again, I know it's my fault, I chose to put that much effort in, but still.

Wait...I am having vague recollections of something like a fic round-robin? I could not tell you what fandom (I assume Firefly, but not sure), and certainly could never link back to it or even know how to google for it. I guess that counts? BUt I doubt it, because I can't even tell you what the fic was about or what my contribution to it was. So... no.

Hmmm, I was also involved in a Season Rewrite for Profiler back int he day, but all those fics are lost to the internet heyday and you'll never find them. Huh, I htink my episode was called "Lady In Red". (omg, THE MEMORIES).

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Geez. Asking the hard questions. I don't know. All my ships hold a place in my heart, that's why I write them. So, the answer is... I guess... if you've seen me write for that couple, then THAT couple is my favourite in that moment.

(I like, I have had a few fic requests that I've filled that haven't really been my cup of tea, Veronica/Lamb for instance, or Jayne/River, or Simon/River. I don't like them, but I have written them).

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them. ALL OF THEM. I mean, "Adam's Rib" had so many stories to tell and I could have gotten lost in "The Best Deceptions" world. Omg, that was such a happy, schmoopy fic. Let me go back up to happy fics for a sec...

"... To Dream", "Bitter Revenge", and "Girl int he Mirror" will be my sadness from VM.

and ALL my SQ WIPs. "The New Moon", "A Swan Is A Beautiful Creature", "The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares)", "Subject 3662", "Blooding the Water". *sob*. I'm sorry!!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Angst.

Detail.

Lots of people comment on my phrasing and pacing. The way I string words together and have breaks and just bring forth the imagery. It's never just "and then this happened and then this happened and he put his hand here and she put her mouth there".

No matter where I am planning to go with a fic, i always start from a canon point and keep that canon history. I try to keep characerisations believable. They may get into plots and situations that they would never in canon, but I like to hope I keep their reactions believable and true.

I like to delve into the emotion of it. You know the tumblr meme "Put that guy into situations". THAT'S what I do. And then I examine the ever living fuck out of it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't have a beta reader.

Which is troublesome, because my hands don't work properly anymore. At least, not as well as they used to. I have what's called dupuytren's contracture. It's a thickening fibrous band around the tendons of the hand. My hands aren't restricted, so much at the moment, but it does slow down my pinkie fingers. Which means when I touch type, there are so many mistakes. And I can't NOT touch type.

These come out mainly in things like double capitals (ever wonder why so many times in SVU fics I have the name "LIv" and not "Liv", it's because that capital 'i' is harder to spot. If I type "THe" I see it and fix it. But my eye seems to skip over the "LIv" and "HIs" words.

It also comes out in the spaces in the wrong place. I will type t he instead of 'the', or 'ith appened' instead of 'it happened'.

I spend A LOT OF TIME, going back and editing sentences I have just written. The amount of times I have had to go back and delete/edit words just in this post alone is staggering. It makes things take twice as long.

I have had to work really hard to get back into writing. I stopped for a great deal of time, many years, because I was so bothered by this.

Add to that, the kidney failure gives me brain fog, so I have to spend a lot of time trying to remember the specific words I want to use. For someone who uses words INSTRINSICALLY, knowing there is a specific word I want and not being able to access it in my memory? FUCKING FRUSTRATING, I Can tell you.

Another great weakness is starting a dozen fics at once and being unable to keep up and then being overwhelmed and losing momentum.

This is how I have so many WIPs.

I keep that in mind now, which is why I am limiting myself to two ongoing SVU fics and THAT IS IT. No more until they're finished.

THough I have actually been writing SO MUCH lately. At least once chapter a week. So this is good. Makes me happy.

I get the feeling that I tend to homogenise my characterisations a little. But this doesn't seem to be a complaint of any commenters, so I try not to let my imagination run wild with me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done it.

Firefly fic, by necessity, uses a lot of Chinese. I used to know the html to do the hover type and would have Chinese dialogue with hover type translations. It was fun, because as is the Firefly traditions, you could have the filthiest things in Chinese and the censors wouldn't pick it up. (My favourite thing I wrote translated to... something like "Your mother sucks rotten beef sticks in hell" if I am remembering correctly).

Alas, I have forgotten the html for that. I am sure it's just a google away, but... I don't really need translations for English fics.

I also did a bunch of research for Trigidasleng. I never really wrote The 100 fics, though I did write some drabbles. I probably did more research that necessary for the mount of fic I actually wrote.

But, yeah, I think if the source material calls for it, you should definitely put the effort in.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Who wants a laugh? When I was in primary school, 3rd grade I think, we wrote books. We got to type them on a computer, the teacher printed them out, then bound them and we drew the pictures and coloured them in.

I still have mine.

It's called "Bugs Bunny, Brooke, and the Giant Banana", which was a combination of Bugs Bunny (natch), mary sue insert of my friend Brooke, and James and the GIant Peach.

BUAH HAH HAH.

But truly? My first fandom was Profiler. This is the show that got me ONTO the net, introduced me to fandoms and message boards and fics. If it weren't for those people, I wouldn't be here now.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Don't ask me to choose a favourite child!

Are you kidding me?

I cannot. I can't even do it per fandom. I love them all, which is why I wrote them.

How could you be so cruel?

Tagging: YOU, if you want to.

#fic meme #jacqui writes fic #interesting thoughts #introspections on jacqui's mind

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ladystylestores · 4 years

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Artist Toyin Ojih Odutola on drawing intricate portraits of black life

Written by Jacqui Palumbo, CNN

Nigerian-American artist Toyin Ojih Odutola is known for her rich, textural portraits of black life, layered through intricate ballpoint pen, charcoal and pastel.

Born in 1985, Ojih Odutola is fundamentally a storyteller, influenced by the narrative traditions of her childhood. Her 2017 show at the Whitney Museum, her first solo exhibition in New York, unfolded a dual, interconnected narrative about two fictional aristocratic families in Nigeria.

More recently, when the Barbican Centre in London closed due to Covid-19 restrictions in March, it was just days before her first UK exhibition, “A Countervailing Theory,” was set to open. Now, with the show postponed, Ojih Odutola has put together a virtual exhibition for New York’s Jack Shainman Gallery, “Tell Me a Story, I Don’t Care If It’s True,” made primarily of works created while the artist was at home over the past few months.

Ojih Odutola is exhibiting new work, made during lockdown, at a virtual show for New York’s Jack Shainman Gallery. Credit: Toyin Ojih Odutola

Her yet-to-be-seen Barbican show centers around myth-making and features 40 drawings based on an ancient legend, set in Nigeria, that the artist imagined herself. Her more intimate virtual show for Jack Shainman, meanwhile, focuses on solitary, free-flowing stories told through images and text.

Here, Ojih Odutola discusses both exhibitions, her rich exploration of black identity and how art can be a balm and a space for agency in a time of crisis.

Ojih Odutola’s 2017 show at the Whitney in New York helped raise her international profile. Credit: Beth Wilkinson/Toyin Ojih Odutola

CNN: Can you walk us through what your Barbican show will look like when it’s unveiled?

Toyin Ojih Odutola: Some pieces are seven feet tall and some are really, really small. It’s all based on a myth I wrote last year involving an ancient civilization and set in Plateau State in central Nigeria. For me, it was a need to delve into visual storytelling in a way that was engaging and different, and felt very present.

There are these striations throughout each drawing, and they may look like a decorative motif, but in fact, it’s the system at work. When you see a drawing fully populated with these lines, you’re seeing the system that is not spoken, not seen, but is everywhere in the world of these characters. It influences and affects them but they don’t acknowledge it. It’s just there. So of course it affects everything.

(The exhibition) deals with gender, power, hierarchies, oppression and imperialism in a way that I hope, once it’s unveiled, is very subtle and nuanced and talks about the insidious nature of systemic oppression.

The Barbican show gave Ojih Odutola the opportunity to work on an ambitious scale, mixing large-scale and intimate monochrome works based on an imagined ancient myth. Credit: Toyin Ojih Odutola/Barbican

How did your new virtual exhibition, “Tell Me a Story, I Don’t Care If It’s True,” come about?

The title of the show came to me in February before lockdown. It was something that felt right and applicable to the time. It’s a series of diptychs, standalone drawings and standalone text works. They’re stories that came to mind, which was quite new for me because I tend to plan things a lot. This show was much more introspective.

These stories are anecdotal; they’re isolated vignettes. There’s not too much context, but just enough information to understand. There’s a conversation happening between image and text. In one, you encounter a figure leaning against a couch, and you may have your ideas about what that figure is thinking — the interiority of that moment. And then you read the text, and go back and forth between the two, and form your own meaning.

Viewership is an activity. Take a moment, take a beat. I hope that it’s a way to question what you see and read.

Which oral or written traditions related to myths have influenced you?

I grew up in a household where the oratory was the means. Gathering around and hearing someone tell a tale is a huge part of Nigerian culture. I also grew up in a house with two amazingly funny parents who love to tell stories about anything. I’ve always treasured that. And it wasn’t until I got much older that I realized how precious it was to have that experience and to have access to that.

When I first started my career, I was just drawing figures and not really thinking about narrative. But there’s a wealth of knowledge that I already have in my own personal history and experience — and I can apply that to a visual narrative and really help people see the possibilities of figurative work.

Ojih Odutola is exhibiting new work, made during lockdown, at a virtual show for New York’s Jack Shainman Gallery. Credit: Toyin Ojih Odutola

I’m heavily influenced by comic books and animation. For the Barbican show, engaging with epic mythology was my way of being completely free and creating something from scratch. Unlike “Tell Me a Story, I Don’t Care If It’s True,” there’s no text (in the Barbican show) — there’s no reference for the audience, and everything is otherworldly and strange. But what I hope is that as they walk through that space, they start to acclimate themselves to my visual language.

You often explore the texture and meaning of skin in your work. How has this evolved with your practice?

Initially I wanted to figure out a way to visually translate what skin felt like. I use sinewy lines; it’s very layered, and I was mostly doing ballpoint pen ink works. And then I began including other drawing materials like charcoal and pastel, and now, most recently, colored pencil and graphite.

Ojih Odutola compares black skin to water, calling it “a mercurial surface, a terrain…a place where so much beauty and positivity proliferates.” Credit: Toyin Ojih Odutola/Barbican

When I think about the surface of skin I think about the work of multimedia artist Roni Horn, who uses water as a metaphor for a surface that’s ambiguous and ever-changing. I think about skin in a very similar light. Skin is a terrain. It’s a landscape that you project meanings onto. It has its own history.

When I look at black skin, I think of it as a mercurial surface — a terrain, a construct, a projection, but also a place where so much beauty and positivity proliferates. It includes so much and it holds so much.

Following the death of George Floyd, there’s been so much conversation about black trauma, depictions of black people in the media and how those images are circulated. How do you think art can play a role at this time?

There’s a lot of noise — images can be noisy. But with art, it’s just you and this work. You’re in dialogue with it, and there’s no right or wrong way to engage. Art provides the opportunity for people to be still, to think and digest this moment and try to understand it.

Ojih Odutola wants her art to provide a space through which viewers can reflect and arrive at their own interpretations. Credit: Toyin Ojih Odutola

I have made a pact with myself, as an image-maker, that if I am going to contribute images to the plethora of those available on the internet that I will not show black pain, deaths or trauma.

That’s my choice. And if you are an artist who does deal with those things, fine. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but for me it’s very important that I provide images and texts that give people something else to engage with because we already know that trauma and pain is a sad and unfortunate thing that connects black people globally.

Black people are catalysts. In every society we’ve been a part of, our culture has left an indelible mark. That is no accident. And so we shouldn’t always think that we’re coming from a place of lack, that we are powerless. I’m not saying that these aren’t realities. But it’s not how we should read ourselves as a community, as a collective (and) as a diverse, brilliant diaspora.

And as someone who’s a part of the diaspora, I want to give people space to engage with potential, to engage with our capabilities. Yes, they are afraid of us because they don’t know what we’re capable of. But we should not be afraid of what we are capable of.

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