#into my drawing file so that I can have immediate visual reference rather than switching between windows every time I need to look at it.

[prolibytherium]

The extent of possessiveness some people have on art that they post on the internet is crazy to me like, I'm seeing someone on art fight all caps serious business warning not to save image files of their characters UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Like Oh no your character ref png is on another computer!!!!!! Who cares

[gemvictorfromtheponyverse]

Love at first Lizard Chapter One

Surprise! Me and @green-love-paternoster totally tricked you guys, because it’s not actually cancelled! There is 3 planned chapters and today we are presenting chapter Number One!!! Yay!

@idemandaspinoff @zaridaxe @dorvanie

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“Everything is goin’ to be alright, Greeny.” Jenny whispered reassuringly, hugging the travel cage for her chameleon lizard closer. She’d owned ‘Greeny’, as she called him, for little under a week, and already she had to take him to the vet.

Glancing up at the building in front of her, she swallowed audibly. It hadn’t been easy to find a vet that even catered to lizards to begin with, and now that she had found one that claimed to have an in-house reptile expert, she felt nervous. It was not that she was nervous about what they’d think of her, or Greeny, but rather the fact that she had never been to a vet’s office before. She had always hated hospitals, and the vet’s office gave her the same creepy feeling in her gut.

Nonetheless, Greeny needed looking after, and there was nowhere else she could go. Taking one last, deep breath, she grabbed the door and opened it, stepping inside.

The waiting room was small, but cozy, with pictures of delighted animals - mostly dogs and cats, but also a few horses and a rabbit - lining the walls, and a childish jungle themed carpet covered the floor. In the corner, a reception desk had been placed, and serving it was a petite dark haired girl that hardly seemed tall enough to see anything over the counter.

Swallowing loudly once more, Jenny gathered her courage and approached her. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

The girl, who had been absentmindedly drawing doodles on a notebook, instantly looked up upon hearing Jenny’s voice.

She looked at Jenny with big, warm brown eyes and a welcoming smile exclaiming, “Oh, hello there! Aren’t you a delightful surprise, business has been slow today, as you can see.” The girl made a sweeping gesture around the empty waiting room with pen still in hand. “My name’s Clara, how may I help you today?”

Feeling a little more confident thanks to the girl’s cheery attitude, Jenny smiled back. “Hello there. I’m Jenny Flint, and I need someone to look at my lizard? He seems to be a bit ill.” She lifted up the travel cage still in her hands for the girl to see, as if to emphasise her statement. “I heard you help lizards.”

Clara’s smile shrunk a bit as she switched her gaze from Jenny to the lizard huddled inside the carrier cage. The poor thing clearly didn’t seem to be doing so well, since he barely moved within the cage. Clara’s no lizard expert, but she hoped whatever that is wrong with the lizard will get fixed soon.

Clara then glanced back toward Jenny with a slightly sympathetic expression, for she saw that Jenny was genuinely worried about the health of her pet lizard. “You heard correctly indeed! Our certified in-house reptile expert is certainly the best in all of London….but I must warn you that she can be a bit of a grumpy old tightwad sometimes,” added Clara with a mischievous lilt in her tone, an attempt to make Jenny feel more at ease. “If there’s anyone who can figure out the problem with your lizard, it’s her!”

Jenny bit her lip, barely holding back a smile. While the way Clara presented the woman was a bit odd, she sounded good enough. Before she could answer her, however, she was interrupted by another person entering the room.

“Clara! Have you got the file on that dog who…oh.” As the man, a tall brown haired guy in a doctor’s coat, spotted Jenny, he stopped immediately. He was standing just short of the threshold to the waiting room, and casually leaned against the wall as he gave Jenny a once over. “Clara, who’s the new customer?” He smiled, a mischievous and quite silly smile, that almost made Jenny wonder if vets were always this casual.

“John, this is Jenny,” explained Clara, returning an equally exuberant smile to the man in the doorway. “She came here today because her lizard is sick.”

Clara giggled as soon as she said that, which Jenny found quite odd, and the man’s grin seemed to grow even larger, as if this was some kind of inside joke just between the two of them.

“Right! A lizard!” John said enthusiastically, giving Clara another suggestive look. “Two beautiful female specimens for our dear loony lizard lady to take a look at. Oh, Vastra is surely going to be satisfied by this!” His grin was almost covering his entire face now, and Clara looked as though she was struggling very hard not to laugh her head off. What was supposedly so funny about the situation, Jenny didn’t know, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out, either.

Jenny had no idea what to expect next, but her attention soon got caught on the stunningly gorgeous woman that appeared beside John, most likely having been drawn in by all the commotion he and Clara was causing. The mystery woman was tall, about the same height as John. She had brilliantly sharp blue eyes framed behind thin, rounded black glasses, well defined cheekbones and jawline, and there was a strip of green running along the middle of her dark brown hair, which she kept tied in a neat bun. Jenny also noticed the woman’s seemingly impeccable sense of style, consisting of a silken form-fitting purple blouse tucked into her black slacks, and flats on her feet with a slightly raised heel. The woman definitely exuded a distinctive aura of flawless elegance and meticulous professionalism, that was in stark contrast with the easygoing atmosphere projected by the other two employees. Jenny couldn’t help holding in her breath at the awe inspiring sight of the beautiful woman, as something told her that this visit to the vet was going to get a lot more challenging.

The Doctor gave Vastra a far too gleeful look. “Ah, Vastra, glad to see you sticking your head round these parts. We got two fresh female samples for you to look at!” He tried to keep a serious tone, but utterly failed, and Jenny once more found herself confused as to why the doctor was referring to her and her lizard in such a way.

The woman, now identified to be Vastra, appeared to be utterly unimpressed as she shook her head and grumbled, “God grant me the strength to deal with these two foolish comedians without losing my sanity!” Vastra then stepped in closer and peered at Jenny’s lizard in the carrier cage for a moment, before looking back over her shoulder at John to say, “Nice try, Doctor Smith, but this one is a male. Honestly, for you to be a veterinarian, your horrendous grasp of biology troubles me!”

“Oi! I am a female!” Jenny objected sharply. Honestly, for a woman like that, gorgeous as she might be, to come here and call her a male. Like a male animal!

“And I do know biology!” John added, in response to the insult against his credentials as a veterinarian. “It’s just lizards that are, well…green and not green. Or the other way around!”

Completely ignoring John’s complaint, Vastra simply turned her head to face the visibly indignant Jenny and spoke smoothly, “Calm down, miss, I was actually referring to your pet, not you.” She allowed herself to do a quick visual scan of Jenny’s physical features and attire, noting that she was in fact rather attractive. Vastra immediately dismissed such inappropriate thoughts and continued in the same strictly formal tone, “Now, if you wouldn’t mind following me into my office room, I will be able to start properly examining your lizard there. It’s absolutely beyond my knowledge how Doctor Smith over here manage to get any work done, when he’s too busy making juvenile jokes with Miss Oswald.”

Sharply, Vastra turned around on her heels, and Jenny bit her lip hard to keep herself from letting out a noise as she caught sight of the woman’s well trimmed arse. It was the perfect, circular shape and Jenny could feel her cheeks heating up as she bit her lip even harder. Now was definitely not the time to lose herself to the appeal of the Lizard veterinarian, but by god, she was hot.

Holding the cage up in front of her like a shield, Jenny reluctantly turned to follow Vastra into her office.“Coming, Ma’am.” She said quietly, holding the cage a little tighter as she looked back at John and Clara by the desk, seeing them still giggling among themselves. “His name’s Greeny, by the way.” She didn’t know why she said the last part. It was stupid, extremely so, and she knew it. She knew no one who named their lizard Greeny, and yet, she had, thinking herself funny.

She just never thought she’d have to answer for it in front of an extremely hot lizard veterinarian.

Vastra stopped just before the door to her office, already having her hand on the doorknob, and Jenny swore she nearly dropped the cage when the oh so magnificent woman struck her with an expression of dubious disdain, one perfectly curved eyebrow raised up toward her forehead

“You can’t be serious, Miss Flint. ‘Greeny?’” Vastra scoffed in a haughty manner that was beginning to rub Jenny’s skin the wrong way. Throughout her years working in this clinic, Vastra had encountered pets with almost every single name you could imagine under the sun, but ‘Greeny’….now that was a new one; And by far, the least original she’ve ever heard. “You ought to be more creative than that, even my three year old nephew could come up with something better!“

Then without further ado, Vastra effortlessly twisted the doorknob to open the door leading into her office before walking in herself, and leaving Jenny standing outside with her mouth hanging agape in the wake of her surprisingly rude comment.

“Well I’m sorry, but I rather like calling my lizard Greeny. He is green.” Jenny couldn’t help but get defensive, because she couldn’t believe how unimaginably rude Vastra had just been. As if she had the right to judge what Jenny named her lizard!

Vastra wordlessly walked over to her desk at the other end of the room, where she picked up a disheveled stack of papers and proceeded to shuffle them.

“Well anybody with properly functioning eyes can clearly see that to be true, so my point still stands that naming him ‘Greeny’ is terribly redundant,” retorted Vastra while loftily waving away Jenny’s statement as if it was a pesky and insignificant fly.

Jenny huffed in annoyance. She’d told herself she wouldn’t care what they had to say about her and Greeny, but it was proving increasingly difficult, seeing as the veterinarian seemed to be hellbent on making everything harder and more embarrassing for Jenny. “Then what would you call a lizard? I, for one, cannot think of a better name.”

Vastra continued to occupy herself with various little miscellaneous tasks around her desk in order to avoid looking directly at her client, who she had mentally admitted to being the very most loveliest creature she’d ever laid eyes on, albeit not without tremendous difficulty. God knows it had been an excessively arduous task for her to maintain a steady, neutral composure out in the waiting room with Clara and John. No doubt those two would be cackling their heads off like hyenas if they could see her now, flustered out of her wits because of this stupidly beautiful girl with dark brown hair and charming brown eyes. She was exactly Vastra’s type, much to her utter dismay.

Using her naturally embedded cynicism as a pretense to mask her rising attraction, Vastra quipped in response,“How would I know, I’m only the vet around here. I don’t get paid enough to consult with painfully bland pet owners who can’t look beyond their animal’s physicality to give them an appropriate name.” Very subtly, Vastra’s head and shoulders seemed to become tense as she anticipated Jenny’s inevitable rebuttal, and the intoxicating sound of her Cockney accent that would come along with it.

At this, Jenny gave her an ice cold glare. Even for such a gorgeous woman as her, there wasn’t any good explanation for being quite so rude. The woman wouldn’t even look at her! It was almost as though she was not worthy of being acknowledged, for Vastra had better things to do.

Even with Clara’s warning poking at her from the back of her mind, it was frustrating. "Well then, maybe you could do your job, instead of complaining about things you clearly claimed are none or your concerns?”

Vastra could practically feel Jenny’s probing glare on the back of her head, causing an involuntary shiver to run down her spine. Nonetheless, she still managed to produce an articulate reply, “I simply stated my sympathies for your poor lizard who has to live the rest of his life with such a mediocre name as ‘Greeny’.” Then closing her eyes, Vastra inhaled a deep breath, and eventually was able to muster just enough courage to turn around toward her client. Obviously trying to be a bit more cordial, Vastra suggested, “Perhaps it would be best if you go ahead and tell me the reason you’re here, since we’ve just wasted half an hour debating your lizard’s name.”

Seeing her eyes, Jenny almost couldn’t breath. Gone was the frustration and anger, it all washed off of her like an unpleasant shower coming to an end. The brilliant blue eyes looked at her, waiting for her answer, and unconsciously, Jenny smiled. She didn’t even care that she had to spend half-an hour justifying her pet’s name to a stranger when she should have been at work. It didn’t matter anymore all of sudden.

“Yes, of course, uh, well…” Taking a deep breath, she tried to gather herself and figure out what to say next. “I recently bought this lizard, you see. I’ve only had him for little under a week, but he already seems to have gotten sick. He barely moves and won’t eat.”

It required every last ounce of willpower for Vastra not let herself become undone right there at the sight of Jenny’s radiant smile. She mentally cursed herself for getting too carried away with her unnecessarily snarky attitude, when she really should be helping Jenny tend to her lizard. Her demeanor softened considerably upon witnessing the apparent nervousness written all across Jenny’s face, and she smiled pityingly while gesturing toward the examination table in the middle of the room. “That does sound troublesome indeed, miss. I truly want to do everything I can to alleviate your lizard, but first I’ll need to ask that you take him out of the carrier cage for me.”

Jenny nodded, swallowing audibly as she walked over to the table, putting down the carrier case and opening it. Greeny was hiding in the furthest corner of the space, and she glanced at Vastra uncertainly. “Do you want to take him out?” She asked politely, standing by to lift him out herself if Vastra thought it was better. A little dumbstruck, Vastra nodded positively with a reassuring smile, “It would be my utmost pleasure, Miss Flint.”

Jenny’s ears instantly perked up upon detecting a mild, but still relatively evident Scottish accent among Vastra’s words, thus making her all the more attractive if that was even possible. Vastra went over to a cabinet on the wall where she retrieved a fresh pair of gloves, pulling them on with a satisfyingly audible snap.That simple action drew Jenny’s attention to Vastra’s exquisitely long fingers, which then set loose a chaotic whirlwind of very impure thoughts running through Jenny’s starstrucked mind;They might or might not, have been something along the lines of getting her body pinned against the office wall by the bewitchingly sexy veterinarian, and letting those surely capable fingers have their way with her. All that Jenny could do was keep biting her lip even harder, almost to the point of drawing blood, while simultaneously trying her best to appear normal in front of this goddamn goddess of a veterinarian. Jenny soon stepped aside to give Vastra access to the carrier and watched with baited breath as her hands reached into the carrier.

“That’s it, Greeny, who’s a good green lizard boy. Yes, come here to the nice veterinarian, I’m not going to hurt you,“cooed Vastra in such a beautifully soothing voice that it made Jenny want to laugh and her heart melt at the same time. Thanks to a bit of highly effective coaxing from Vastra, she finally succeeded in bringing Greeny out of his cozy carrier, holding him in a carefully firm, yet gentle grip.

Alas, everything was put into jeopardy, when the calmly quiet atmosphere of the room was suddenly interrupted by someone else bursting in through the door like a mighty blast of gale force wind.

“Madame! Strax is here to assist you, for the glory of this clinic!” The man standing and shouting in the doorway was short, buff and bald. He had slightly brown colored skin, and had Jenny not known any better, she would have compared him to an oversized, sentient cartoon potato. Only potatoes didn’t walk around screaming, nor did they dress like nurses. Still, in her mind Jenny decided to refer to…him? Him, as a potato.

The ruckus caused by Strax’s impromptu entrance did not sit well with Greeny, who began flailing his entire body within Vastra’s hands. That, in turn, caught Vastra off guard and she nearly dropped Greeny out of shock, but luckily she was able to catch herself at the last minute, and narrowly avoided getting her eye poked by one of the lizard’s sharp horns.

“Careful, Madame. The poky lizard would not do well on the floor.” Strax provided unhelpfully, the little potato not moving an inch and grinning like a madman at Vastra.

“STRAX! How many times must I tell you, not to be so BLOODY loud when you come into the office!” Barked Vastra in her exasperation at the rambunctious potato man. Then suddenly realizing the kind of language she had just used aloud, Vastra gave Jenny an apologetic grimace and said, “I am deeply sorry about this, Miss Flint, but my assistant can be quite….enthusiastic in his job sometimes.”

Inwardly, however, Vastra made herself a mental note to remember to kill the person responsible for feeding Strax the sherbert fancies that are making him obviously hyper.

Jenny merely shook her head. Nearly causing Vastra to drop Greeny aside, she found the little potato man quite adorable. “I believe it is fine. It does not appear to have been Mister Po…Strax’s intention to be disruptive. Right?” She smiled at the potato man, who smiled right back, as enthusiastic as ever before.

“Quite right, boy!” He confirmed, missing Jenny’s unamused expression as he turned his attention back to Vastra. “The Doctor was making coffee and thought you might be in need of assistance, Madame.”

Vastra was definitely looking forward to the Doctor’s funeral, in that case. As if this whole ordeal wasn’t already stressful enough, now that lanky buffoon had sent Strax in to cause even more trouble than necessary. This was just perfect, thought Vastra.

Jenny watched the two persons in front of her, swallowing hard as she felt the tension simmering between them. Vastra was obviously angry with Strax, but the latter was either too daft, or too oblivious of his surroundings to notice. Timidly, she spoke up. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to be a bother, but this appointment is coming out of my salary, so perhaps we can get on with it now?” She smiled half-heartedly, hoping it would be enough to get everything back on track.

Jenny’s voice cut right through Vastra’s flaring temper and brought her back to the situation at hand. Once again, she smiled sheepishly at Jenny saying, “Oh, yes, that we do indeed, for surely I would hate to put your paycheck at risk.” After taking a few seconds to compose herself, Vastra looked back toward Strax in silent resignation to address him with, “Alright, Strax, I’ll let you stay in here to assist me, but only if you promise to be quiet for God’s sake, and not touch anything until I tell you otherwise.”

Hearing that he was allowed to stay, Strax punched one of his short, stubby arms in the air, trying to make some kind of victory gesture. “I will help you Madame! For the glory of this clinic!”

Jenny laughed a little, not able to hold it back. Strax really was adorable. “Thanks. Scotland Yard doesn’t pay nearly as much as you’d think.”

Vastra paused in the midst of her inspection of Greeny the lizard to look at Jenny, equally impressed and curious. “Really, you work at Scotland Yard? Well, that does sound to be rather exciting, is it not?”

Jenny shrugged. “Yes ma’am, though it’s not very exciting. It’s mostly a lot of paperwork. Gets a bit lonely, too. That’s why I got a lizard - so I’d have some company that doesn’t require being walked three times a day and are allowed in my flat.”

“I see….even if it’s not as glamorous is you say, I have immense respect for anyone willing to risk their life in the name of justice at Scotland Yard. Although, I am sorry to hear that you’re feeling lonely,” spoke Vastra sympathetically, making casual conversation with her client as she continued to study Greeny. “I was just under the impression that such a seemingly likable, and decent girl as you would have plenty of friends to keep you company.”

Jenny blushed a little at Vastra’s glowing compliments, looking down at the floor. “I didn’t have many people before I joined Scotland Yard, and my current working schedule doesn’t exactly encourage lots of socialising and spending time with friends.” She bit her lip, trying not to let the other woman’s words get to her. It never bothered her that she had few people that she considered close to her, why would it now?

Vastra risked a brief discreet glance at Jenny and replied, “It would appear that you and I are the same in that regard, since I’m not exactly the type of person to put myself out there for all the world see. I’ll admit that I am much more adept at dealing with animals than I am with people. Apart from Doctor John, Clara, and even Strax, there’s actually nobody else that I can view as my friend.” Sensing Jenny’s increasing discomfort, Vastra then cleared her throat and decided to immediately change the subject. “I must say, Miss Flint, this is a really handsome Jackson Horned Chameleon you have here. It’s a shame that he had gotten sick so soon….what are his symptoms again, if I may ask?”

“He is not handsome, but well equipped for battle! It is most glorious!” Strax declared, before Jenny had a chance to repeat her lizards symptoms.

His eyes shone like stars as he spoke and Jenny found herself a bit uncomfortable by the thought that maybe he was attracted to things and people that could defend themselves. She shuddered.

“He’s not eating, and barely moving, ma’am.” Jenny told Vastra, trying to push Strax’s comment into the back of her mind where she’d never have to think of it again.

Vastra shot Strax a heated death glare as a warning before inquiring further, “Hmm, yes, he does appear to have lost some weight….what have you been feeding him?” Vastra then became aware of how Greeny was gradually curling himself against her arm, seemingly attracted to her natural body heat.

“I feed him insects. Mostly crickets, as instructions says.” Jenny said, looking straight at Vastra, a little questioning.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Asked a befuddled Vastra, afraid that she might have somehow offended her pretty client again. “I swear, I wasn’t trying to accuse you of any wrongdoing. Jackson Horned Chameleon diets are typically composed of insects and crickets, so at least you’re doing that right. Do you have some kind of enclosed habitat in your home to contain him in?”

Jenny nodded rapidly. She felt eager to please the gorgeous woman handling her lizard, wanted to show her that she was not some clueless person who just adopted an animal without a plan. “Yes, I have an enclosure at home, as one should have.”

Jenny’s confident statement was then rewarded with a dazzling smile of approval from Vastra that knocked all the air out of her lungs. Vastra’s tone was almost rather playful when she said,“Quite the responsible pet owner now, aren’t you? Very good, and can you please describe this enclosure to me?”

Jenny blushed at the praise, looking down at the floor, but glancing back at Vastra as she spoke,”It’s a mesh cage, as the guide said to avoid glass enclosures, and there’s a little tree for him to climb. That is about it.”

“Well I suppose that minimalism does have its appeal to some people, but I will advise you to add in a few more plants for his habitat,”Vastra suggested wisely. “What about the climate and average temperature of your home? Do you have any type of heat source that can be kept near Greeny’s cage?”

Jenny stared at her as though she’d suddenly grown a second head, or possibly a third eye. “Heat source? Climate?”

Jenny’s confused expression prompted Vastra to tilt her head, and lift one skeptical eyebrow as she spoke, “Miss Flint, you are aware of the fact that reptiles like Greeny are cold-blooded, and must gain heat from their surroundings in order to function, aren’t you? Or did they not teach you that back in grade school science class?”

At this, Jenny gave Vastra what she believed was the most apologetic smile ever to have existed, eyes quickly diverting and looking back down on the ground. The peach carpet sure was interesting to look at, Jenny decided. “I’m afraid I was never the sharpest one, ma’am. Haven’t had much education altogether, and can’t say I remember being taught anything about lizards.” She sighed, embarrassed. She had really hoped she would have done enough research to avoid exposing her rather lacking education in general.

The underlying sadness in Jenny’s words struck Vastra’s heart heavily, and she immediately regretted being so snide in her remark without actually meaning to. It physically pained her to see this beautiful, sweet young girl defeated by her own insecurities, which was preventing her from recognizing her full potential and self worth. Vastra, too, dropped her gaze to the floor as she was suddenly desperate to find something that could cheer up Jenny.

“There’s no reason why you should be embarrassed, Miss Flint,” Vastra began sincerely, eyes fixed onto Jenny’s depressed form. “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, it’s a natural part of life. I know that you are trying your best to take care of Greeny, and I do not blame you for being uninformed regarding the biological anatomy of reptiles. You may not be well educated, but I can tell that you must possess a considerable amount of merit since you were able to get into Scotland Yard. So chin up a little, will you, for Greeny’s sake?” Vastra held up Greeny as if he was a sort of mascot in an attempt to uplift Jenny’s falling spirits, while acquiring a pleading puppy dog face herself to boot.

Jenny couldn’t help but smile a little. No one had ever tried so hard to encourage her and make her happy. If you want to be happy, you make yourself happy, her mom had used to say. But here this gorgeous veterinarian was, cheering her up like her life depended on it, and Greeny looking confused as he twisted around in her hands. “Alright, for you and Greeny.” She agreed finally, giving Vastra her largest grin.

Vastra released a little sigh of relief, and returned a pleasant smile of her own to Jenny; She was most delighted to witness how Jenny had transformed from a hopelessly wilted plant, to a lively blooming flower being fed by the rejuvenating waters of a spring shower. Another, albeit quite unexpected, result was that Vastra also found herself having a strange and powerful urge to always make Jenny happy like this in any way possible….depending on the probability of whether or not she’ll ever see her again at the clinic, that is. A part of her was already wishing and praying for Jenny to come back someday.

Vastra was so enraptured by her client’s joyous beauty, that it took her several minutes to find her tongue again. “Excellent! It is a scientifically proven fact that pets thrive much better when their owners possess a positive attitude, as opposed to being down in the dumps,”proclaimed Vastra, who included a sly wink to show that she was only teasing. “Now, I assume you will be glad to know that Greeny’s condition isn’t as serious as you think, and he can easily be cured with the use of a proper heat lamp. I’m sure that you will be able to buy one at your local pet store, or online if you prefer. Either way, I highly recommend that you get one as soon as possible, because Jackson Horned Chameleons need to be kept at a temperature of between 20 and 32 degrees celsius.”

At this point, Vastra didn’t mind in the slightest that Greeny was practically holding her arm captive, because the poor thing had clearly been deprived of warmth for so long.

Jenny nodded at her words, acting like a school kid confirming her teacher’s instructions for her homework assignment. “I’ll see about getting one uh…,”She glanced at the clock, trying to estimate how long she’d been there,”…on my way home. My shift’s over, by now, so I won’t really have anything better to do. Besides, the sooner Greeny gets what he needs, the better.” Jenny turned to Vastra and smiled, stretching out her hands expectantly.

“Smart thinking, Miss Flint, Greeny will certainly appreciate the sentiment. He should consider himself lucky having such a thoughtful and committed owner as you,” concluded Vastra while she prepared to give Greeny back to Jenny.

What was supposed to be a standard transaction suddenly became much more complicated when their hands touched upon Greeny. Both Jenny and Vastra gasped softly as sparks seemed to fly from the very first second they made that physical contact, feeling the invisible electricity race up their arms before ultimately exploding against their hearts. Their bodies trembled due to the sheer force of the impact, which continued to echo in massive rippling waves throughout their entire frame. Meanwhile, their overlapping hands had become extremely hot as if they were laying on a furnace, though the two of them fought the urge to jerk away lest they drop Greeny. The heat quickly spread to their faces, and their cheeks lit up with a blazing red color. Hearts pounding, palms sweating, minds spinning, neither Jenny nor Vastra had ever experienced anything this intense before, and they both struggled to fully comprehend what was happening to them. Eventually, they were able to remove their gaze from Greeny and locked eyes with each other instead. They immediately froze in place where they stood, as if some kind of mysterious unseen power had stripped them of all their ability to move. Everything else seemed to fade away until it was just the two of them left in this lofty, and surreal dimension that separated them from the rest of reality;The very air surrounding them had morphed and shifted itself, becoming significantly heavier with a daunting, unspoken question that loomed over their heads. Despite their current immobility, there was still a distinctly spiritual energy of restlessness that caused their souls to be irresistibly attracted to one another like opposite ends of a magnet. Vastra and Jenny both realized that something needed to be said if they were to break free of this awkward situation, but every word they meant to say instantly evaporated off of the tip of their tongues before they even had the chance, thus rendering their voices utterly useless.

Whether they liked it or not, they are completely, effectively, undeniably stuck.

They kept standing there, stagnant and unable to move for several more moments, before the door suddenly opened. Stepping in through the opening, was none other than Dr.John Smith himself.

“Strax, I need you! That pitbull that likes you is here and…” As he saw what he walked in on, he stopped, confusion quickly replaced by a mad grin. “Oh my…I’m sorry, Vastra, I thought you and Miss Flint would have been finished by now!” He let out a small laugh, and Vastra could see the joke in his eyes. “But I guess she required a lot of care!” He did a not-so subtle wink with his eye at this, and Vastra wanted to strangle him for his shameless behaviour.

The Doctor’s surprise intervention was enough to startle Vastra and Jenny into jumping apart from each other, with Jenny frantically clutching Greeny close to her chest. His gaze kept switching back and forth between the two women, as he was clearly relishing in the rare sight of a highly flustered Vastra. The other veterinarian glared daggers at him with laser point precision, being not thrilled at him barging into her office wearing that infuriatingly smug grin that she would love to tear off his face. Vastra fastidiously wiped her hands on her coat and hardened her facial expression, all in a futile attempt to make herself appear more dignified, yet the tell-tale fiery blush on her cheeks still remained. The Doctor always had the worst sense of timing, and Vastra hates the fact that this one incident has now given him basically unlimited ammunition to bombard her with.

“Ahem…uhh…Strax, it would seem that I will have to relieve you of your duties here at the present moment,” began Vastra calmly, as she was determined to pretend that nothing had ever happened. “Go ahead with Doctor Smith and report back to me when you are done.” She then turned her head to look directly at the Doctor and said to him, “And you, Doctor Smith, I simply cannot comprehend why you still insist on calling Miss Flint’s lizard a ‘she’ after we’ve been over it already. He did require a lot of care, but fortunately we were able to reach a viable solution. Now, do be so kind and remove yourself from my office, your unsightly hideous face is apparently causing Greeny some considerable discomfort.”

Vastra also made sure to punctuate her biting statement with an equally sardonic smile that told the Doctor ‘two can play at this game’.

“Ma’am!” Jenny couldn’t help the complaint that escaped her lips. Despite lacking in many other areas, Jenny had very good manners, and she knew what Vastra had said was not acceptable. Though the man had been immensely rude to his co-worker, and Greeny did look quite uncomfortable, it was simply not right to say such mean things to anyone.

John, however, didn’t seem as bothered by it. He simply gave her a wink and a smile, showing that it was all okay. “Don’t worry, my dear, the cold blooded tend to behave this way. Now, if you excuse me, I must be off.” Wasting no more time, John turned around and left the room, Strax hurrying to follow in his lead.

“Sir, wait for me!” He called out as he, too, left the room, short legs moving him as quick as possible away from Jenny and Vastra, leaving them completely alone once more.

Jenny glanced awkwardly around the room, trying to avoid looking at the veterinarian as she finally settled in with the task of putting Greeny back into his traveling cage. “Well, if there is nothing else, I suppose I should get going. I’ll remember to buy a heat lamp whenever I can.”

Jenny didn’t know why she was saying goodbye. She didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave this gorgeous woman before her and likely never see her again. Yet, she had no choice, as there was no longer anything keeping her there. She sighed, deep and heavy.

Vastra’s head instantly swiveled back toward Jenny, her anger at the Doctor suddenly replaced with a grim sense of despair upon hearing Jenny say that. Truth be told, Vastra really didn’t want Jenny to leave either, but she knew she couldn’t risk violating professional business protocol by letting her suspiciously not-so-platonic feelings be revealed in front of this beautiful and lovely client, who had become the object of her affections. Rubbing the back of her neck with one hand, Vastra merely gave a small sheepish smile as she responded, “Yes, of course, it’s getting rather late….and I’m certain there are other clients that I need to attend to. Before I do that, though, I’d just like to say that it’s been my absolute pleasure helping you and Greeny today, Miss Flint.” Vastra paused for a moment, overcome with a sudden bout of self-consciousness, and temporarily diverted her gaze to the floor. She was soon able to look at Jenny again while her blue eyes shone faintly with optimism, and added, “I hope that you found my services here to be satisfactory then?”

Although they had gotten started on the wrong foot earlier, Vastra did genuinely mean what she said. Out of every other client that Vastra had come across during the course of her four year career at the clinic, none of them had ever fascinated or outright perplexed her quite like Jenny does. There was an unexplainable, penetrating, persistent feeling deep within her gut telling Vastra that maybe….just maybe….it will be different and special with Jenny. She had utterly no idea why she is willing to get her hopes up so high for this girl who she never knew existed until an hour ago, but at the same time she found herself unable to stop, too. While Vastra may be a certified know-it-all expert of lizards, she is actually terribly ignorant when it comes to matters of love.

Jenny couldn’t help but feel disappointed. After their hands had touched, she’d actually believed there was something between them, a connection perhaps. That maybe Vastra felt the same and shared even just a fraction of her own feelings. But, of course, not for her as she was just another worried pet owner. “Right. Yes, your service was excellent and much appreciated. Goodbye, Miss McIntosh.”

The two of them approached the door together, and there was a brief episode of awkwardly treading around eggshells, before Vastra finally insisted on holding the door open for Jenny to get through.

Glancing back wistfully at Vastra as she went, Jenny left the room, walking down the corridor and back to the waiting room. At the reception section, she saw Dr.Smith and the receptionist, Clara, standing there and chatting away amongst themselves. Quickly, Jenny tried to make a bee-line for the door, hoping to avoid any more awkwardness by escaping unnoticed. She really didn’t feel up to listening to another of the other veterinarian’s comments, with his painstakingly clear innuendos.

She was just about to open the door and step outside, when suddenly, she heard someone calling her name.

“Miss Flint, wait! Please don’t leave yet!

Jenny was able to recognize that voice as belonging to Vastra, who nearly tripped and fell over her feet while rushing to catch Jenny at the door before it was too late. Dr. John and Clara both ceased their animated conversation in favor of watching their co-coworker chasing after a particular client like a madwoman, which was something they’ve never seen before. Every muscle in Jenny’s body became notably rigid with anticipation, and she closed her eyes, gathering herself so that she could face the gorgeous veterinerian again without automatically falling apart on the spot. When Jenny finally turned around, Vastra was standing only ten inches away, looking rather out of breath as her chest heaved rapidly to refill her lungs with air, and there was a thin sheen of sweat covering her forehead. Even in this disheveled and exhausted state, did Jenny still considered Vastra to be the most extraordinarily attractive woman in the whole world. She also noticed that Vastra was holding a sheet of paper in her hand, inspiring a newfound sense of curiosity within her mind.

Once she had recovered enough of her energy to speak, Vastra said, “Pardon my, err, inconvenience, Miss Flint, but I’ve just realized that I forgot to ask for your phone number. It’s a precaution to help us keep in contact with you, in case any problems should arise with your pet, Greeny, later on in the future.”

Not really knowing what else to say, Vastra simply held out the sheet of paper in front of Jenny, silently requesting her to sign it.

Seeing the paper, Jenny couldn’t help but smile. It was only for Greeny’s sake, she knew, but a small part of her just couldn’t help but hope that there was something more to it. Smiling nonetheless, she took the offered paper and pen, quickly writing down her number before giving it back. As she did, however, a sudden and crazy idea hit her. “There you go. And, uh, if you wouldn’t mind, could I have your number as well? In case something does happen.”

It wasn’t until now that Vastra became aware of two other pairs of eyes watching them intently from across the opposite side of the room. Vastra blinked obliviously and tilted her head aside, trying to confirm if she had heard that correctly, or were her ears playing a false trick on her? Naturally, she found it hard to believe that anyone would ever want her number, especially this angelic, amazing young girl who she had been so insensitive to.

“Come on Vastra, do it!” Vastra could hear John whispering behind her back. “I know you can do it!”

“No way, she won’t!” Clara protested, indicating that there was probably a bet taking place between the two of them. “She’s always been all talk and no action!”

As soon as Clara said that, it was like two circuit wires had been inserted inside Vastra’s brain to shock it back to life again, and she managed to smile charmingly at Jenny. “I suppose that would be alright, even if it’s not something that I normally do,” answered Vastra, who then unceremoniously grabbed Jenny’s hand and scrawled her own number on it. “Well, there you have it! That’s actually all the information that I need, so….have a wonderful evening, Miss Flint.”

Vastra couldn’t understand why she just did that, writing her number onto Jenny’s bare hand instead of a piece of paper, like any other reasonable and normal person would.

Jenny smiled at her hand and turned around with the intention of walking out the door, but somehow ended up colliding headlong into it. Though a bit disoriented, Jenny was luckily able to find the door handle and swiftly exited the building. She wore a huge grin on her face, feeling more satisfied with herself than she’d been in a very, very long time. As she began heading down the sidewalk towards her apartment, Jenny abruptly stopped and carefully put the carrier on the ground. She then pulled out her phone from her pocket, typing the number on her hand into her phone’s contact list, and also taking a picture of her hand for good measure. She really didn’t want to lose the number, after having gone through so much just to get it.

And who knew? Maybe she would need to call and ask about Greeny….wait, who’s Greeny? Oh yeah, her pet lizard, how silly of her to forget for a minute there, again.

Still smiling, she bent down and picked up the carrier. “Love you little guy!”

Jenny truly did love Greeny. She had originally bought him to be less lonely, and now it seemed as though it had all worked out, in the best way possible.

————————————————————————

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Vortex Strikefire Optics

Having recently completed a budget 5.56 AR build, I found myself in the market for budget optics to place on the newly completed rifle. My demands were simple. I wanted a 1x magnification in either a holographic or red dot optic that was well constructed and held zero with reasonable reliability. I don't think that was to tall of an order to fill. Having built the rifle for under $700, I did not want to spend even close to that amount to equip it with optics. In my quest for a quality budget optic I came across a “deal” on a Sightmark holographic sight. At first, it did not seem to be a bad sight. On an indoor range it held zero reasonably well and appeared to be relatively well constructed for the limited amount of money I spent on it. However, once I took it to an outdoor range and into full sunlight, its drawbacks were readily apparent as the reticle was not visible, even on the brightest setting. Although a cool little sight, that dog just wouldn't hunt. So it was back to the proverbial drawing board and my quest continued. Enter the Vortex Strikefire.

A Middleton, Wisconsin based company; Vortex Optics has been in the optics game since 2004. They manufacture everything from binoculars, to spotting scopes, to rifle optics and assorted optics related accessories. In the past 10 years they have managed to build themselves a reputation of putting out some quality optics at respectable prices. Their warranty service is second to none, being one of the only companies in the industry to back their products with an unlimited, no questions asked, fully transferable, no card to file, lifetime warranty. Vortex refers to it as their VIP warranty, very important promise.

Magnification: 1 x

Objective Lens Diameter: 30 mm

Eye Relief: Unlimited

Tube Size: 30 mm

Dot Size: 4 MOA

Adjustment Graduation: 1/2 MOA / click, 25 MOA / rotation

Max Elevation Adjustment: 100 MOA

Max Windage Adjustment: 100 MOA

Parallax Setting: Parallax free past 50 yards

Length: 6.1 inches

Weight: 7.2 ounces

The Strikefire is an Aimpoint style red/green dot sight. With an operating temperature rated from -22 to +140 degrees Fahrenheit, the Strikefire is manufactured as a 1x unlimited eye relief dot optic with fully multi-coated lenses, 30mm one piece nitrogen purged tube construction and is boasted as being waterproof, fog proof, shock proof and has an NVG compatible reticle setting. Vortex lists the Strikefire as being parallax free past 50 yards. The Strikefire is powered by a single standard CR2 battery and comes standard with flip up style lens caps, a 3x screw on sight magnifier and either a low or high 30mm tactical ring. It is manufactured in either red dot only, or red/green switchable.

The Strikefire appeared on paper to meet my needs. I took the plunge and placed the order. Once I recieved it via UPS, to tell you the truth, I was rather pleased with it upfront. It made a decent first impression. For less than $200.00 I seem to have found a very good budget optic for a budget built rifle. Opening the box I was immediately impressed with the construction of the Strikefire. Having some experience with Aimpoints, EO-Techs and a couple of other high end holographic and red dot optics, the Vortex seemed, at least visually, to measure up in terms of build quality. The glass was bright and appeared to be relatively very clear. The dot reticle was well defined and very bright and adjusts via + and – buttons on the left side of the optic. Admittedly, neither the glass nor the clarity of the reticle was as good as they are on an Aimpoint, but I didn’t pay $500 for the Strikefire either. I was not expecting Aimpoint quality for the price I paid but the Strikefire looked to be a very good value for the money.

One thing that did strike me as odd immediately upon opening the box was the inclusion of a strangely designed magnifier. Vortex opted to include this with the Stikefire and it is applied by screwing it into the rear aperture of the optic itself. After a few minutes of playing with it, I found it to be rather useless. It greatly restricts the field of view when applied. I would say toss it, but I elected to keep in in my B.O.B. as it could conceivably be utilized in a pinch to start a fire using the sun. If you’re considering the Strikefire and you require the use of a magnifier, it would behoove you to invest in separate magnification device. Vortex offers in its product line, a flip-side 3x magnifier (the VMX-3T) that would undoubtedly be a better option.

I also immediately took notice of the included lens covers. They were similar to the flip up style found on an Aimpoint with one major caveat; they were very difficult to snap closed. Although I appreciated their inclusion, Vortex can undoubtedly make an improvement here.

I found the Strikefire very easy to mount on my rifle’s flat top receiver utilizing the included high profile 30mm absolute co-witness tactical ring that utilizes a ½” slotted nut as opposed to a quick release lever. The ring measured 1.46 inches from base to center. Once mounted on the rifle, I found that it was very easy to co-witness my Magpul BUIS with the field of view through the optic’s 30mm tube being ideal for the task. Utilizing a bore sight I was able to get the first three rounds in nice group on the paper at a distance of 50 meters immediately after installing the optic. The first group was a little low and to the left. The Strikefire was extremely easy to dial in from there. The windage and elevation screws yield ½ MOA per very positive click. Once zeroed I was able to consistently put three shot groups under a Quarter Dollar at 50 meters from a bench. Following the successful zeroing session, I ran the Strikefire through its paces in a reflexive fire style exercise. I found the reticle very easy to acquire in both partial shade and full sunlight and was able to put rounds consistently on steel, right where I wanted them at varying distances under 75 meters while shooting on the move. That afternoon I ran 250 rounds through my rifle using the Strikefire and it functioned flawlessly. It held zero without a hiccup. My first range experience with the Strikefire was very satisfying. I went home feeling very satisfied with my purchase.

Another thing I did notice that perhaps Vortex could improve upon is the location of the power switch on the Strikefire. Its location lends itself to accidental activation as I discovered when I arrived home from the range. When I removed the rifle from its case for cleaning, the reticle was active. I had powered it down when placing the rifle in its case upon leaving the range. This could lead to inadvertent draining of the battery and an unexpectedly dead optic.

My second range experience with the Stikefire involved a great deal of shooting on the move, running between cover, and shooting from various positions. At one point during this range exercise, I slipped and the rifle sustained a good solid hit on the ground at my side. The rifle held up just fine but I immediately wondered about the Strikefire. Was it durable? At first it seemed no worse for ware, still functioning just fine for the first magazine or two after the fall and it seemed to hold zero. I was impressed. However, by the third magazine following the fall, the reticle would not remain illuminated. With the recoil of each round, the unit would turn off. It would power back up, but as soon as I pulled the trigger on another round it would go dark. I was now beginning to second guess my purchase. It was time to test Vortex on their much ballyhooed VIP warranty. The following week I sent an email to Vortex describing the problem. Sure enough, without hassle the response was “send it in and we’ll either fix it, or replace it.” I put the Strikefire back into its box and shipped it off to Vortex. Exactly two weeks later I received my Strikefire with a detailed explanation of the malfunction and the steps taken to repair it. Vortex even covered the cost of return shipping. I was impressed with their customer service. Vortex was very easy to work with, attentive and timely. It seems the VIP is indeed taken very seriously by this company.

I function checked the Strikefire and it appeared to function like new. I re-installed it on my rifle and after a quick bore sighting, I was off for a quick trip to the range. The Strikefire again zeroed like a champ and the problem with the power reticle was resolved.

I have owned the Strikefire for approximately just under 2 years now and it has held zero and functioned like a champ after around 800 rounds of good strong use. I have even had it out in the rain on one trip and the unit held up without any fogging of the lenses. All in all I would probably rate the Strikefire strong 4/5. For less than $200, the Strikefire is a good value and the transferable lifetime no questions asked warranty is a boon backed by stellar after the sale customer service from Vortex. The Strikefire’s quality, in this shooter’s opinion, is on par with its price. It’s not a cheap toy like a lot of the low end sights on the market but it’s not a high end Aimpoint or EOtech either. If you are in the market for a very decent middle of the road budget 1x red dot optic, check out the Vortex Strikefire. It’s not perfect, but it doesn’t break the bank and it’ll most assuredly get the job done. Take the plunge, and it’s my feeling you will not be disappointed.

Guest post by Robert Nordby. Robert is a Registered Nurse, RN BSN CEN NREMT-P, with over 12 years experience in both prehospital paramedic and emergency department nursing care. A US Army veteran, and former LEO. A current firearms and self defense enthusiast.

© 2014 www.KeithSipmann.com

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