#into hundreds of thousands of words for nothing for one person to read and thats it thats all its ever been

[inevitablestars]

i just want to know what im doing wrong

[thenightwinggraveyard]

how i find banger fics on AO3

tips and tricks by yours truly

are you an avid ao3 reader like myself? do you ever find yourself at a loss for what to read next and unable to find anything worth your time? well worry no longer (hopefully!), because i'd like to share some ways i filter through the endless amount of fics to find ones i like;

SORT BY KUDOS

while doing this isn't foolproof and it leaves underrated fics out of the equation, it is generally a good starting point. most fics that have a lot of kudos, do so for a reason after all.

2. EXCLUDE WHAT YOU DONT LIKE

this is a feature i wasn't really utilizing until recently, but it has saved me so much effort. when your on a fandom, tag, or pairing, you can exclude whatever ticks you off and make finding a good fic easier. for example, sometimes i go on my favourite tags, like time travel, and find that it is mostlyyyy clogged up with harry potter or mha and im just not feeling it that day; well i simply exclude it.

3. MAKE NOTE OF/JOT DOWN WHAT YOU'D LIKE

what i mean by this, is whenever you think about a specific character or pairing/dynamic, fandom, etc.. during the day or when doing something else and find yourself craving that content, a good idea would be to write that down for later on your notes app or something, and specifically search for it later on. otherwise, sometimes when faced with the damning ao3 search bar you forget everything you like and your entire personality. ive certainly been there.

4. MARK FOR LATER

whenever you see a fic that you don't really feel like reading at the moment, but know you could like, you can hit the mark for later button. i find it much easier then having endless numbers of open tabs that you cant sort through.

5. SEARCH COLLECTIONS

i like to go to my favourite fics i previously read and look through the collections that have that fic saved to them and browse. i have a collection of my own where i save my fav fics if you feel like checking that out!

6. SEARCH THROUGH OTHER MEDIA

going on tiktok or tumblr and searching the #fanfiction or #fanficrec tags can be a lifesaver. better yet, when you find tumblr masterlists of recs.

7. CHECK OUT AUTHORS OTHER WORKS

this ones self explanatory; if you really like a fic, try checking out the authors other works in the case that you find them just as good.

8. ASK FRIENDS!!!

you dont no HOW much i bombard my friends by asking them for recs, and ive found some really good ones through them. you can even ask mutuals, anyone on discord if you have it, etc...

LASTLY,

9. BE PICKY

this one is a bit redundant but its something i often find myself wishing i had done earlier. if your reading a fic and something about it just isnt right for you, be that the writing style, the chracetrization, etc... don't feel like you need to continue. theres nothing wrong with just dropping shit when it gets too boring or when its not tickling your fancy, otherwise you may end up putting so much time into a work that leaves you upset/frustrated, and thats no fun. seriously, i have spent hundreds of thousands of words on fics that left me hating my life and not because of how good it was written ill tell you that.

[trickstarbrave]

actually yknow what

do i think fanfiction has value? yeah i do. it takes a lot of time and effort and often skill to do. i have read some frankly gorgeous and wonderful fanfics that have impacted me as a person or ones i still think about to this day.

do i think fanfiction is the same as published literature and should be held to that standard? absolutely fucking not. fanfiction doesn't (usually) exist to make a profit. it is for fun. you are allowed typos and to miss update schedules and to work at your own pace and do whatever you want in it. you can write a grand, epic, multi-book long story. you can write something short and funny and pure crack. you can write just raunchy porn. you can write something stupid and fluffy and self gratifying. you can take requests, or write purely for yourself. you can write the same story but from another persons point of view.

fanfiction is casual writing. it isn't that serious. something not being serious though doesn't mean it doesn't take time or doesn't fucking mean anything. if someone writes hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction that is nothing to snuff at and it's unfair to say "you arent a REAL writer because you write fanfiction!!" because thats like saying "you arent a REAL artist because you draw fanart!!" it takes time and effort and skill to do. you learn by writing.

i don't think it's polite to out of pocket criticize a fanfic because it isn't a published work. you didn't pay for this. it didn't go through a long editing and publication process. there were no agents or even self publishing and marketing involved. this is like your friend casually mentioning they write for fun and don't wanna publish and you taking their manuscript and ripping into it like you would something on the new york time's best seller's list. theyre gonna feel like shit. they didn't ask for that. like sure, you can do it, but like. 1. who are you. what are your qualifications. how do they know you arent getting shit advice. and 2. i am literally playing make believe with my barbie dolls if you wanna be mad at my game of playing pretend with me and my friends i dont wanna play with you

[lycanr0t]

I think it's really silly and unhelpful to make comparisons between fan artists and fan writers such as trying to determine who gets more interaction and who "has it easier" and who is more appreciated.

Neither has it easier. Btw. It's a useless overly generalized comparison to make that does nothing but put one group down and pit the two groups against each other when we should be uplifting each other.

each have their highs and lows in terms of interaction. This is a fact that will remain true for all of time purely because they are different forms of creation that require viewers to engage with it in different ways.

some artists may get more things such as likes and reblogs/retweets on visual heavy platforms like tumblr and twitter. But there seems to be an attitude among some that artists universally get attention with ease and i promise you thats simply not true. for every artist whose work is popular theres hundreds upon thousands of artists who get absolutely nothing. Just like writers.

writers DO have a hard time on platforms like tumblr. It's hard to convince people to read a whole fic on a website that is designed for and caters to quick casual scrolling. It sucks but that is a reality. You have to understand not every space is catered to every form of creation. Visual art is faster to see, like, and move on from. So naturally in an environment build for that interaction it has a better chance at doing well.

But at least in my experience, writers when they get interaction, are much more likely to get MEANINGFUL interaction.

Artwork I posted just a week ago (or less!) gets next to no notes, maybe some likes. In it's whole lifespan it maybe gets a handful of replies or tags that say one-two word compliments. (I am in no way putting this down. A compliment is a compliment!) meanwhile a fanfic that I wrote literally 10 years ago still will get comments on ao3 describing to me how much they adore it, telling me the specific parts they liked, and taking the time to really TELL me they loved it.

My point being that social media sites like tumblr and twitter are designed for shorter, smaller interaction. Visual art you can easily do that with, but it does tend to lead to less in depth interaction which does leave a lot of artists feeling used and unappreciated. written works DO require people to sit down and take the time to read it, which does mean less people will take that time, but (in my personal experience + what i have observed) the interaction that fics DO get is much more likely to be in depth and thought out.

EDIT:: forgot to add that since fics do often struggle to get interaction started, that also can lead to feeling unappreciated! both groups have instances of feeling this way!!

My experiences are obviously not universal. But that's my point exactly. Each artist, each writer, we all have different experiences with what gets more or less love/interaction. There are so many factors that play into this and no group is to blame here. No group has it better or worse its just different. And it's incredibly silly to point fingers and claim "oh artists have it better" or "oh writers have it better" babes we ALL have it rough.

Creative works across the board are unappreciated and across the board people are busting ass trying to be seen. No site is perfect and not everyone will get huge amounts of interaction. Let's not get so hung up on trying to figure out who is better off and instead put that energy into uplifting everyone.

if you see fanart you like then consider leaving a reply/comment/tags/ask/etc telling the artist exactly what you like about it! try and put effort into making it longer than 1-2 words! sit and really absorb the art!

if you read a fic you like consider sharing it with others! consider rbing or sharing it, leaving a nice comment, like/kudos, send the author an ask telling them you like it!

we ALL can use more appreciation, but understand we are all people also. no one owes anyone interaction, and guilting people into it and playing petty "i have it worse" games is not the way to go.

love others work. do it openly and passionately but do it to your ability. And realize in fandoms NONE of us magically have it easier just because we make a certain type of creation. It's not a competition. Fandoms are communities built on shared passion and mutual sharing, not marketplaces fighting to be the loudest most successful business

[ssoupcup]

i love the existential crisis that history gives you. that skull you just stared at in a museum? he was a person with hopes, dreams and ambitions just like you. he might have been important and well known or he might not, but he still ended up in a hole in the ground, buried and forgotten or hundreds, maybe thousands of years until someone found him and put him on display.

that might be you one day - everything you did in life forgotten and buried along with you and you'll maybe be remembered for a generation or two but after that everything you did is well and truly forgotten and you're just another body in the ground. hundreds of years might pass, thousands maybe, before your body is found and displayed as evidence of a more primitive life style. or it might not be found and you might never be remembered. sure, your memory might exist somewhere in ancient records which date back centuries, but its then still only one name amongst many. nothing makes it unique or makes it stand out. all of your possessions are gone and decayed so all thats left of you is that scrawled name in a document. the person reading might take a second to wonder who you might have been what your life might have looked like, but they forget about it soon after. they have their own life to worry about. your name doesn't mean anything to them, really.

billions of humans have lived and died and we remember so few. even famous people have been forgotten. does your impact on the world truly even make an impact? or is it just a quiet whisper carried in the breeze which fizzles out when the direction of the wind changes?

then there's the universe. you're just one person on a small planet in some distant corner of a universe. if you disappeared, if your friend disappeared, if the whole earth's population disappeared, nothing would change. the planet would keep orbiting the sun, the sun would keep orbiting the galaxy, the galaxy would keep drifting through space. other galaxies would keep existing and so would the universe. the universe never even knew you were there.

but as insignificant as you are in the grand scheme of things, you are also incredibly significant. it took so much chance over the last 13 billion years for you to end up being where you are right now. whilst you won't be remembered in a hundred years, you are remembered now. friends, family, pets, children, that random person who smiled at you and bid you good afternoon when you walked past them in the street. everyone will eventually meet the same end so you might as well make good use of the time that you have - life only has the meaning that you give it so you might as well enjoy it whilst you're here. or don't. really, it's up to you.

i did not originally intend to wax poetic about this. it is just something that is frequently on my mind and i don't know how else to express it in words. i just love history. the idea of it is daunting but it's like. i have one life, and im not gonna make an impact on the world in the long run but i can make an impact in the short term with those that i am close to, right?? im honestly not sure how to express it i just needed to ramble and i lobe history okay have fun good day

[bleedingpeanutbutter]

The muse and the grind

I am writing this blog post after taking a break from working on a chapter of this book I am writing, my first novel. I’m fairly certain it will be terrible but maybe my third and forth ones will show some promise. Later I am also suppose to work on music for the next record, I have artists literally waiting on me to put down vocals but I just can’t make it right. Today seems particularly difficult to get in to the groove of things. Stephen King writes two thousand words a day and says some days he says the words flow easy and other days not so much. Maybe its the power of the habit, maybes its that the muse shows up when you work consistently. Im certainly no expert but it seems the key thing a creative person must do is create. Some days its a struggle to get to five hundred words down and other days two thousand flow out like its nothing. 

I took the advice of James Altucher and try to create idea lists. Just come up with 10 things a day you could write about, or ten things a day to start a business about or whatever you are trying to to. So on this list I have a title for a Bleeding Peanut Butter post called “The muse and the grind” and its beyond easy to procrastinate, in fact I have mastered that skill. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog. To improve my writing and interviewing skills and force myself to have something to write about. To kick out the cobwebs so to speak.

It does seem though that if you show up everyday and put in the work the muse will arrive as well. But boy today is one of those slogging through mud days. Especially since everyone is in quarantine for the Corona virus. It would be so much easier to finish the book I am reading (Duma Key), just play video games, or cook some good food. I don’t have the best advice in the world right now other than the advice I recently got, you write a book one word at a time. I suppose thats true of music as well, write music one note at a time. Record one instrument at a time. One foot in front of the other. Even bad work is better than no work. Bad work you can at least edit most of the time. With no work you are just being a fraud. Creators create, if you don’t create can you call yourself a creator? 

Man, talk is cheap. Everyone wants to be the next great famous artist or the write the great American novel but almost no one wants to put in the grind day in and day out to get there. I can promise you that everyone famous for their art at some point put in the work to get there, I would bet they still do but now that have a team in place to help them along. 

I’m not completely sure my writing is worth reading or music worth listening to because there are so many great artists out there, but art should in some way be about what you need to create. It needs to fulfill you first, if you can write the book you would want to read or the album you would want to listen to I think thats a huge step. Recently I heard someone say that artist have great taste and when an artist starts out and is dissatisfied with their work they know its bad because their tastes tell them so. Their skillset just has to catch up with what they know is good. Once again, practice makes perfect. So make the muse your bitch my showing up everyday, there is no way around it. 

[mithliya]

(i mean this completely in good faith. im keeping an open mind and trying to learn the truth so please please dont hate me for asking this. this is not a gotcha or attack or anything)

in my head its like, since gender categories were just made up to organise our species by function... theres really no biological requirement to being a woman... since being a "woman" is just a label that humans a couple hundred thousand years ago made up to sort half the human race.

and if thats the case, why is it a problem if some humans also decide that label of woman is how theyd best describe themselves also?

gender is fake, and the enforcement of conforming to it is just as absurd, so i dont understand the problem with allowing some poeple to live in a way that may not adhere to societys gender enforcement but provides them a more optimal life experience...

sorry i might be like.. missing something but this is not making sense to me.

“woman is just a label that humans used a couple hundred thousand years ago made u to sort half the human race” okay.. and what did this half of the human race have in common? how were sorted “by function”? we were sorted on the basis of our sex. so how does this support the term having nothing to do with biology?

“why is it a problem if some humans also decide that label of woman is how they’d best describe themselves also?” but what does “that label of woman” mean? it was used to categorise the half of humanity right…, so what does it mean and how can someone decide they meet that definition if they don’t share the sex that led to women being categorised into the same group?

“gender is fake” but we’re not talking about gender. you said half of the human population. half of the human population isn’t feminine, but it is female. and an adult female is a woman. so what does gender have to do with that? only conservatives argue for the sanctity of femininity and try to limit it to the female sex, feminists reject that entirely and are saying there is no meaning to the word beyond our sex & that our sex doesn’t mean we’re interested in sth or have a certain personality or like pink or anything of the sort. what feminists are sitting there enforcing women being feminine and forcing men to be masculine? bc they’re going against the very core of feminist ideals.

ur argument makes no sense to me i’m sorry, ive read it like 4 times and it’s just not adding up. sex and gender are two separate things. aren’t you the one forcing conformity by equating women with gender, a bunch of regressive societal rules placed on us on the basis of our sex?

[aonogifreactions]

Hug Headcanons: Revisited

a/n: ive felt like i should rewrite this for a while now. i hated seeing those stuped ~180 words, so.. thats why were here! xD i added yukio to the mix as well, since ive gotten this ask >:) huge thanks to @no-remorse​, who beta-read it for me <33

Tiny edit: I’d love to hear the feedback for this one! <3

Warnings: Spoiler in the last headcanon in Yukio’s part!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Lucifer, Amaimon, Astaroth.

★ Words: 2,1k.

Rin:

no matter where, who’s watching, or what had happened before, he’s gonna give you a big, big hug! he absolutely lives for your hugs, it soothes him emotionally so much and works as immediate relief.

almost always his one hand wraps around your waist, while the other one goes on your head as he nuzzles into your neck; his hugs are always tight, almost as if you were about to get taken away from him - he doesn’t really feel like that inside, but.. he likes feeling that you’re here. present. for him.

after a fight, he immediately runs into your arms and almost makes you both fall on the ground as you nearly lose your balance when his arms wrap around you; feeling your embrace, your warmness.. something in his mind switches right away and he’s calm. he’s still shaking, but it gradually stops as he relaxes in your arms.

at first, he might be a little shy, but when he gets comfortable, he can’t keep his arms away from you. He just.. loves feeling you. hugs make him somewhat vulnerable, because he lets his frustration out, and at the same time - Rin gets an extreme dose of serotonin. He tends to place his forehead on yours just before he loosens his hold on you, and eventually moves on do to his things.

depending on your height, he still loves hugging the same! if you’re short - during hugging, he also places his cheek on your head, leaving a soft kiss on your hair. if you’re tall - he loves!! hugging!! into your chest!! or whatever he reaches!! he’s just snuggling into you like a madman.

he gets butterflies in his stomach when you hug him from behind and almost starts stuttering. (do it when he's cooking or sumn,, but u didn't hear it from me) 

also, please, PLEASE wrap your arms around his neck. he’s gonna MELT.

Yukio:

his hugs are rare, but it’s not like he doesn’t touch you - it’s just Yukio being Yukio; hugs make him vulnerable, similarly to Rin, except that it’s Yukio’s way to “open up” about his problems a little. It’s surely a very small step forward, but it shows that he's trying, yet he doesn’t realize how much it actually helps him.

he prefers to hug somewhere where there are not so many people around, not necessary in private completely, but as long as you’re the only one with him in the room, he’s down for a hug if he feels like it (or you beg him enough lol).

he’s usually silent during hugging, but he really “quietly” lets his frustration out, you might even catch him sighing. at first, he embraces you with only one arm and places his head on your shoulder, but when it hits him - the emotions, that he’s been waiting for years and now he’s finally able to tell someone everything - he’s almost crying, but he intertwines his other hand with yours instead. even though there are no real words shared, his love language involuntarily shows the beauty of his complicated personality.

now, he’s a little “unwilling” to hug you, mostly because of all that emotions crashing on him, but he feels so much better afterwards.. it’s unreal, he feels like you used some kind of magical spell on him.

the worst time to hug him is probably when he’s angry - and while it seems like a totally normal thing, it doesn’t work as comfort for him - it makes him even more upset, so it’s really best to leave him alone for some time. he knows your intentions are good though, so usually, he comes back to you with a calmed mind and apologizes.

I picture his S/O being in this mess in chapter 126, where the twins just beat the shit out of each other, and suddenly Yukio’s s/o comes up to him and stops from shooting Rin - he’d have that mental wall blocking him from hurting you in any way, just when he realizes he points his guns at your face or grabbing his hands and attempting to get Rin out of his target range - both of those things and any similar scenarios would end up with him looking at you with those beautiful, yet unfortunate eyes showing so much pain and sadness, along with that broken expression on his face, hoping to understand him.

Mephisto:

we’re gonna have fun here. hugging with Mephisto is pretty common, he likes touching you physically and doesn’t really care if people see it - he’ll push boundaries as far as he can, but unless it’s someone or something really important, he stops and gets serious. 

^unless it’s Arthur, he could politely knock on the door. Hearing the permission to come in, the first thing he sees is Mephisto hugging you with a hand on your lower back, heading dangerously onto your ass while casually giving him random papers and smirking at him. wow.

if you think the twins’ grip was tight, Mephisto’s gonna literally try to squish you into his body - it’s not hugging if your bodies aren’t touching themselves in EVERY possible way. You could be practically glued to him and he won’t complain - in fact, he’s gonna have that shit-eating grin and tease you by saying “hmm, aren’t you needy, darling? you can’t be away from me even if I work!” (even if.. it was him who called you over...)

he GETS handsy and you can’t do anything about it. and he really does it on purpose, just to tease you and see how much time it takes for you to get either horny or snap at him. nonetheless, he likes to place hands around your waist or just on your hips, then shove you into him, so he’s able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

hugs definitely show his rather “softer” side, the silly one - but he also doesn’t hesitate to hug you when he’s serious; these hugs, however, tend to be quicker but more intimate. even if it’s just him standing next to you and placing his hand on your hip while watching the dark sky, stars flickering slightly as you feel a slight, cold breeze hit your face; you look at him, wondering what he’s thinking about, this incredibly sharp mind with hundreds, perhaps thousands of different thoughts. Is he reflecting? Reminiscing? Regretting? or is his mind wandering around some silly thoughts? Yet you’re the one left wondering, not noticing his emerald eyes have focused on yours a while ago. You take your eyes off him, slightly embarrassed, hearing only a faint chuckle and feeling his grip tightening on you as you two once again gaze at the glittering galaxy above you.

Lucifer:

due to his body being not as strong as Mephisto’s - he’s usually down for cuddling instead. however, when some of the elixirs do their job, he’s gonna give you hugs pretty often.

prefers to be in private when he really wants to give you a genuine hug; he doesn’t want to show others he fell for the trap named “love”. he lets himself be a hypocrite about it, for once (ekhem satan and yuri).

Of course, tiny hugs wouldn’t be forgotten while attending stuff anywhere else on Dominus Liminis, but they’re just quick hugs when you walk past him. he isn’t ashamed of you by any means, in fact, he’s proudly walking along with you most of the time, having a hand either on your waist or interlaced with yours.

Lucifer’s hugs are very, very confident and send butterflies to your stomach - he radiates that strong energy to make you feel secure in his arms - the world could be falling, but as long as you’re in his arms, he’ll do anything to protect you from any harm, even if this means losing his precious body.

sometimes he hugs you in his own, unique way - he interlaces both of his hands with yours and places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and sighing softly. while you might think it’s not really a hug, it’s definitely a very sweet gesture. you can get a kiss on the temple or a few sweet and uplifting words whispered in your ear too, if he feels particularly affectionate that day.

his views on physical contact are... a little bizarre; he’s confused and doesn’t fully understand the purpose of it, yet - he will admit it’s quite satisfying. feeling your lover is definitely something that feeds the feelings he’s had deep within him. he might be a little stiff when you introduce him to this too, no matter how many times he’d seen humans do it - experiencing it for the first time is new to him, but surely it is something he grew to enjoy.

 so what’s that “hugging” thing again? you just wrap your arms around someone and.. that’s it? are you supposed to just stay like this? how long? - that’s pretty much half of his thoughts going through his head when he hugs you.

it takes him quite a long time until he “learns” it just “makes him feel better”. he understands (kinda) the idea of it, but deeper down, he’s still pretty puzzled.

In the early stages of hugging, Amaimon didn't realize how strong his hugs were - if he didn’t break any bone of yours, then it’s a miracle. As soon as he noticed you almost passing out, he stopped and the guilt of possibly causing you harm has kicked in, so he promised you to make it up the best way he can.

Amaimon doesn’t realize it - but as time passes he grew used to hugs! Especially greeting hugs, which at this point he doesn’t realize he gives  - it’s become a habit of his.

not a fan of long hugs - to say it bluntly, he becomes bored if it lasts too long (unless there’s been a fight beforehand, in this case, he understands you want to regain the sense of security that physical body is able to give). he likes quick hugs instead, which he gives more often.

Amaimon’s hugs are pretty simple - he wraps his arms around your waist and that’s.. pretty much it. He might rub your back sometimes, but to be honest - he just likes the simplicity. Funnily enough, when Behemoth notices you hugging, he also wants to participate! Tiny demon bounces your way and while it’s near your leg, he starts clinging to it and nuzzling himself (Amaimon’s kinda >:((((((( when he sees Behemoth snuggling, but it’s his boyo so he forgives him).

However, Amai gets really mad when he sees you hugging someone else than him. Unless it’s a close friend or family member, he’s.. somewhat accepting this, but if it’s someone he doesn’t know - he’ll either try to fight them or take you bridal style in his arms and just go away.

He also gets awfully handsy, which he probably picked up from Mephisto. His one hand might slowly slide down to grope your ass cheeks; when you look at his face questionably, he’s just gonna place the other hand on your ass as his answer.

Astaroth:

his understanding is even worse than Amaimon’s, so he’s initially against it. he doesn’t understand the purpose of it and it's very hard to convince him otherwise, saying something along the lines of “if you need your “physical contact” we can fuck on the counter”.

continuously asking him would only make the situation worse, as he’d get annoyed more each second, eventually making him leave the house for a few days. one situation, however, changed his mind the most - he’s once lashed out at you, leaving you crying. he left nonetheless and waited a few days until he cooled off. feeling bad for his actions and regretting doing it for once, he came back, but instead of confronting you - he left a withering rose with a note.

he’s learned a little bit from that situation - seeing that you accept his quirks, he decided to try out some of your ideas - including hugging. and oh boy, how wrong he was.

he will NOT admit he likes hugs for his life; very “tsundere” approach to it, but you can catch his face being relaxed sometimes.

his favorite hug is.. hugging you from behind! whenever you’re cooking or being busy just in general, he loves surprising you with a hug, encircling his hands around your belly as you flinch slightly, not expecting him. as an apology, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

due to him being nasty, you gotta bear with his dirty-talking he’s “performing” every time he hugs you. he also WILL tease you by groping your chest with no shame, attempt to give you hickies, and after a while - move his hands dangerously near your chest.

[inchandescence]

To Anon

Question:  Yeolmaes hate baekhyun mostly because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never said anything about it, instead he kinda validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies Understand that yeolmaes have to deal with hundreds of hate messages written in Korean everyday and they are at a breaking point considering most of them come from bbh’s own fans How is it possible to like chanyeol and baekhyun at the same time in a situation like this? Do you even take chanyeol feelings into consideration? No? Not even once? He has to deal with thousands of nasty comments coming from bbh fanbase while bbh comes on Twitter reminding them how cute they are and how much he loves them If you cbkists choose to ignore this and baekhyun is actually in a relationship with Pcy it just means that you all couldn’t give less of a shit about chanyeol as a person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks

Answer: Anon...sighs you can't see something from one point of view only really, but it's okay i get you, ok so let us talk about this one by one: 1. You said: Yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never say anything about it -When you perceive the assumption that baekhyun stans hate chanyeol the most, did u believe it right or did u question it, like why its baekhyun stans, if its true then since when they started hating chanyeol, and why do they hate chanyeol, does their reason make sense or its just stupid like how other bbhls who hate other exo members too (for example some bbhls hate jd bcs both are main vocalists and they think jd is stealing bh's spot as a vocalist) -But at the same time, we cant find the exact number that would proof that bbhls are the ones who hate chanyeol the most, we only can see what twitter shows us, and it happened to me too that i see bbhls throw hate to chanyeol the most -But at the same time too, I've been seeing yeolmaes who throw hate at baekhyun too since years ago without me knowing the reason why they do that, and I keep questioning it everytime why yeolmaes suddenly started hating baekhyun so bad, when did it start -AND at the same time too, I've been seeing other exo member stans throwing hate to either baekhyun or chanyeol -But my twitter algorithm is the same as you anon, it shows that bbhls hate chanyeol the most and yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most, so I do often make the assumption that bbhls and yeolmaes are always on each other's throat -But yet again, I don't know who started hating the first time, is it bbhls, is it yeolmaes, and why they did that -This knowledge is unknown to me so based on this, to me the most right way is to think that both sides are wrong because hating is always the worse way to deal with things, the fact that we know is chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends they are always there for each other, usually when ppl see im saying this they will say its fake and its fan service, but people can choose to not see what they dont wanna see, so the easiest proofs to prove that chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends is one chanyeol is the only member in exo that baekhyun wished happy birthday on his instagram, two both of them support each other for candy and 1 billion views by coming to the mv bts, three baekhyun and chanyeol go to vocal lessons together, four chanyeol had taken a photo with all of baekhyun's bucheon friends before so in that photo baekhyun, chanyeol, and baekhyun's bucheon friends (istg if people see these as fan service then it doesnt make sense right?)

Before we go to the next thing, I have this assumption that chanyeol and baekhyun are two members that have the highest popularity in sk, either they are the top 3 or top 4, and my reason is bcs everytime there are individual album/photobook covers sold offline, their individual covers sold out the fastest, everytime, even with nature republic stuffs, ok so there's this possibility that we keep seeing yeolmaes and bbhls on each other's throat everytime bcs well both of them are two of the most popular exo members in SK (i mean even in china, chanyeol and baekhyun are the most popular members with sehun, there's data for this)

2. You said: Baekhyun never say anything about this, he kinda "validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere and voiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies"

-First of all, let's look at a bigger picture, is there any idol in the k-industry like ANY IDOL that ever said to their fans "guys don't say that to my member" IS THERE. ANY.? what I know is: there is none, none at all zero zip nothing, and if there's at least one or two idols, then its just one or two idols right -And thats it anon, thats just about it, idols dont have the absolute freedom of speech, they never do, and its hurting them all of them, all they can say is: "I love EXO, I miss EXO members the most, EXO is my home" and most solo stans who see that will just say "its bs" yet solo stans are also asking for proofs that the members relationship are fine -None of these kpop idols ever say anything about hate speech from their fans that are thrown to their friends/bandmates, and this kind of thing happens in every fandom anon, not just chanyeol and baekhyun, it's just how korean entertainment industry is, idols never have the ultimate freedom to say or do anything

3. Not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him, saying he doesnt like musical movies -That not showing up to the box premiere really changed the way you think huh anon, yeah I think that event also changed many yeolmaes' perspectives sighs okay, not showing up to the box premiere is like a very open information we can easily see it from one tweet that didnt mention baekhyun name during that event -BUT for other cases "avoid mentioning him" and "saying he doesnt like musical movies" is not a very open information, by this i mean u have to read alllll of the things baekhyun say, look at the trans for all of his vlives/shows/etc, read the whole trans for baekhyun's last vlive before he goes to the military, so u or other yeolmaes after that situation are either trying to "search for baekhyun's act or words that deny fans opinion about how they hate each other" bcs u still "have hope in baekhyun" or "search for baekhyun's act or words that support my perspective about how he hates chanyeol and never defend cy from bbhls" -"Validate their feelings" how? once again, it's just what bbhls think, did baekhyun do and say all of that because well "his motive is to support bbhls that hate chanyeol" and who are you, who are we to say that, are we our bias? can we go inside their minds and goes aha! this is why they do this and that! well no. because once again thats the entertainment industry, the chances for idols to "explain" all of the bad situations esp when its about how their fans act, is very veryyy low, or like the chance is even minus

-We are just fans who watch them on cam, without knowing what's on their mind or what is everything they are going through behind the camera, we know nothing, all of our opinions are just perspective that our mind created that turned into assumptions, we could never know the truth because kpop industry prevents their artist from showing the truths that may "hurt" people, who actually deserve to be hurt, but those people are the "money makers" for the company, it's bad it's toxic it's awful that just bcs they have to "maintain the money makers" idols can never get that freedom -Same goes with baekhyun, gdi we dont know him, we really really dont know him, his mind, his motives and reasons for his actions, who are we to judge him and call him selfish? -But what we know is baekhyun helping to defend chanyeol when that fake rumor was spreading by tweeting the mosquito thing, what we know is baekhyun and chanyeol doing their choreo for DFTF together that was practiced since early 2021 until before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun saying chanyeol he's fine when fans asked on japanese fansign, what we know is them still doing vocal lessons together, going to vocal lesson tgt too on march after the box premiere (bcs chanyeol's hair was grey in the vlog) before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun loving and singing "tomorrow" tgt with chanyeol, so what we know is they keep spending time with each other as bandmates and friends 

"do you ever take chanyeol's feeling into consideration, you all couldnt give less of a shit about chanyeol as person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks" 1. Baekhyun tweeting that mosquito tweet to defend chanyeol -Responses>> People went: oh he's just defending himself, he's being selfish once again, he doesnt care about chanyeol 2. Baekhyun answering fans question about chanyeol's condition -Responses>> No one translated this after few days OP has translated Original post Jan 29: https://twitter.com/tomo_exo/status/1355177834185064451?s=20 First ever translation on FEB 13 (AND FROM A CBKIST): https://twitter.com/NTH_2705/status/1360626904756228096?s=20 Also this cbkist isnt always active translating, I know her, she's not on Twitter as much as other trans account and she doesnt understand japanese, so she actually found the post on weibo and translated it from chinese thats why it was translated 2 weeks after, but before her? does ANY account translate this? well no. 3. Baekhyun and Chanyeol doing choreo in DFTF tgt -No BTS, no anything from SM, people who hate seeing them tgt can ignore easily, chanbaek stans can only watch the part over and over 4. Baekhyun and Chanyeol practicing their hitting the woah part in just usual mv -Again no one commented about this, except chanbaek stans bcs this is easily ignored 5. Lesson With Baekhyun -Responses>> yeolmaes went "chanyeol don't do this, chanyeol im not watching this, chanyeol what are you doing, i want chanyeol only, oh god why is chanyeol with him again, chanyeol is feeding chanbaekist, his fans (bbhls) gonna come at us again, fuck this im not watching" and bbhls went "the translation is wrong look theyre trying to sabotage bbh" and yeolmaes replied with "good for him haha, ya serves him right for being selfish" and also "why is it always chanyeol who does this kind of thing and never baekhyun? oh right because hes selfish hes sm golden boy he never gonna do this bcs his channel is own by SM" "look he promoted kyoongtube even in the nng" "look SM posted kyoongtube but not NNG u can see whos the mistreated one him"

All of those 5 things I mentioned, even tho some are small things....they got mostly negative responses from yeolmaes and bbhls who are not cbkist dont they? The things that prove chanyeol and baekhyun are always there for each other and they are bandmates, true friends, nothing change between them And yet, what did bbhls and yeolmaes do? Throw negative shits and comments to those things, esp Lesson With Baekhyun, and until now still hate Baekhyun... when Lesson With Baekhyun, is a vlog recorded by Chanyeol alone, he taped his phone in the car, he added Candy MV BTS with Baekhyun calling him "chanyeol ah" and baekhyun smiling while holding the food, a vlog where he praised baekhyun's vocals, prepared playlist for him, sing tomorrow together with him, laughing during their vocal lesson, and just...doing things tgt

And yet people still call it a fanservice? feeding chanbaekist? baekhyun is still selfish? when chanyeol worked hard preparing that vlog, providing it for us, baekhyun and chanyeol practicing their part tgt for DFTF, baekhyun tweeting the mosquito tweet

When Chanyeol and Baekhyun have done so many things together, after the fake rumor, after the box premiere, proving they are still good friends... so do you even take chanyeol's feelings into consideration? oh wait not just feelings, his efforts, his time, him uploading to NNG about him hanging out with Baekhyun, have you ever take that to consideration? or just ignore all those facts because "whatever i still hate baekhyun" 

So two options: 1. Hating and keep hating and telling others selfish because yall hate the fact that baekhyun never do this and that, that yall wanted him to do, but actually we don't know the reason why, we just don't know anything at all, accept assumptions that "baekhyun validated fans feeling" and thats according to you, your mind, your perspective, oh wait... it's all about you? 2. Know and accept and support and love, chanyeol and baekhyun's friendship, because thats what we know, thats what themselves say to us, thats what themselves been doing, accepting the fact that "chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends" and know we are not in the position to turn the friendship into bad relationship bcs what? bcs it comes from chanyeol and baekhyun themselves, not yeolmaes, not bbhls, not even exols, and so be a fan that know chanyeol and baekhyun have good relationship, keep reporting bbhls who said bad things about cy and vice versa, bcs what? we never want chanyeol to see that after lesson with baekhyun, apparently his "fans" still think baekhyun, his best friend and bandmate, is still a selfish person who doesnt care about chanyeol, so chanyeol is happy that we know and appreciate his relationship with baekhyun, with exo members because we care about chanyeol's feelings, because we trust his actions, his words, and we love everything he does, and also we love everyone around chanyeol that he loves

So choose... and last thing, are social media and on cam interactions, are enough to "measure" a group of people's relationships, so if your best friend never post any picture of you on their instagram and never tell stories about you to other people who well, actually are also strangers, living thousand miles away from you and your best friend, then it's okay for those strangers to say that your best friend hates you? avoiding to be affiliated with you? a selfish person? Have people ever think that it's tiring that just because you're a celebrity, you have to show everything, including minds, feelings, emotions, actions, personal reasons, to your fans? For them to be validated? And for them to turn into facts? Well, at least for me, the things I don't know then I don't know, I don't have the right to judge, and the things I know, especially positive things, that came from my own idols, that's what I'm holding on, that's what I support. *extra note: exo members always call us as EXO-Ls, not bbhls, not yeolmaes, not anyone, but EXO-Ls, so when they say they love us, "loved ones" are those who say themselves are EXO-Ls, who loves EXO as 9 members, because that's the fact

Have a good day anon, stay safe and healthy, God bless you, spread love and not hate

[unstoppableforcce]

dark side

CHAPTER FIVE: accuse

pairing: Javier Peña x reader (narcos)

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a/n: the end scene of this one was what I had such a hard time writing, it went through a few different interations and thats why it took so long so sorry for the wait !! please let me know what you feel or you think is going on!

5 in the morning was too early for a drink but he wanted one.

He settled for a shower instead.

But no matter how long he stood under the rushing water, he couldn’t make any sense of it.

“Do you know the CIA is listening or do you just think—”

“We know.”

Fiestl’s answer was too quick, too confident. They had something, real proof of their accusations and they couldn’t tell him any of it, not until he was face to face with them in Cali. And until he could get on that plane, until he could get his boots on the ground and get the information first hand, this guilt settling in his chest wasn’t going to go away.

The bloodied phantom hand was right on top of his as he washed through his hair, rougher than it was a few hours ago when it held you against his chest.

Maybe you didn’t know about the wiretaps.

The CIA practically kicked you to the curb when they assigned you to spy on him. It was a base-level assignment and you were too smart for it, far too smart for it. The human and weapons trafficking, the guy you mentioned, that was what your focus was on, you made that clear and he trusted you when you said it.

Maybe you didn’t know. Maybe Stechner was purposefully keeping you out of this, maybe he thought the two of you were together, maybe you didn’t know about whatever the CIA was doing.

Or maybe you did.

He hit the shower wall, not with the full force his arm could muster but just enough for a pretty decent thud before reaching up to rub over his face again.

Was he wrong to trust you? Was this whole ‘we don’t talk about work’ thing something you used to keep this from him?

Did you even think you owed him honesty in this respect? The two of you were sleeping together, maybe it was more than sleeping together, but it wasn’t a real relationship, or at least, he could tell himself that. Maybe you were telling yourself the same. Maybe that was how you were keeping it from him…

But he trusted you. He trusted you now.

“You’re not coming back to bed?”

He was so caught up with himself, he didn’t even hear you walk your way into the bathroom. But now that he had, you were all he could hear.

He could hear your toothbrush clank against his in the cup as your pulled it out, he could hear his medicine cabinet open with practiced precision, he could hear you sitting back against the sink as you brushed. He swore he could even hear your head turn back to the shower when he didn’t give you an answer.

“I’ve got to fly to Cali.” He sighed, brushing his hair back again, finally washing the rest of the shampoo out of his hair and stepping back to let the water hit his chest.

You spit into the sink before turning back to him, “It’s early.”

“I know.”

A few more seconds passed in silence, and he just waited for you to say something.

The curtain to the shower pulled back and you stepped in behind him, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your face into his back as you held him.

This was real. What he felt for you was real.

That’s all he could focus on for now.

“How bad is it?” You hummed against his skin, pressing a kiss to his spine, your body pressing up behind his.

“I don’t know yet, that’s why I have to go.”

You left another kiss, hot against his skin. “Is there anything I can do?”

He trusted you. If you were using him, it wouldn’t feel like this. Or maybe it would, maybe he was just being naïve to it all.

Turning around in your grip, he placed both his hands around your face and pulled your lips up to his. Yours eagerly met him there, your hands holding him at his sides as he back you up to the wall. The phantom hand was gone if he buried it into your hair and that had to be enough for now.

You tasted like the mint of his toothpaste...

You wrapped an arm around the back of his neck as he hoisted you up around his hips, his hot breath landing on your neck as you pulled away and laid your head back against the tile. But as he moved to lay kisses along your skin, you stopped him, holding him still with your hand at the back of his neck.

“What?” He panted out against your cheek as you brought your head back forward.

“Whatever is happening in Cali… You have to be back by tomorrow night you know…” Your breath was just as ragged as you locked your eyes back with his. “The Ambassador’s thing?”

His head fell forward onto your shoulder, “Fuck.”

“Oh, someone forgot?” You taunted as he drew his lips back to yours, but in leaning your head back, you left his lips your chin instead as you kept talking. “It’s okay, just tell the Ambassador you can’t make it, I’ll wear my pretty dress for you another day…”

The Ambassador did these things every so often, parties with drinks and diplomats, something about securing relationships with the government and such. It meant drinking and socializing, playing nice and dressing up. And as DEA attaché, he had to be there.

He was so stupid, he had actually been looking forward to it. To having an excuse to being around you, playing nice and drinking.

But he had to be in Cali first. He had to figure out this CIA shit…

He kissed your cheek, “I can be back by then.”

“What’s going on in Cali?” You asked, grabbing his chin to level his eyes with yours again.

But he just shook his head, shaking it out of your grip gently, “I’m sorry, querida, you know I can’t…”

“It’s nothing I can help with?” Rubbing your hand over his shoulders, filled to the brim with tension and none of it releasing as you held him close.

“No.”

You let your lips land on his again, deeper this time, pulling him in closer as he kept you pressed against the wall.

“It’s a nice dress, so you better be back in time…” You hummed with a chuckle as his lips moved to your neck.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

He took the first flight to Cali.

And that was when his agents put the cold, hard proof in his hands and his stomach sank even further than before. There was no shower, no drinks, no nothing that could get him out of this.

It wasn’t just the one phantom hand, there were two of them, holding over his hands as he read through the files again and again, looking for some other explanation, some way out of this that didn’t implicate you. But he read them again and again…

They were CIA files.

Stacks of CIA files. Transcripts of private phone conversations, records of Stechner ordering the wiretapping on embassy phones and their personal home numbers, documents and… there were at least a hundred pages here.

“73.” Van Ness muttered, “It’s 73 pages.”

“Where the hell did the two of you get 73 pages of classified CIA documents?” He couldn’t even believe the words as they came out of his mouth, he couldn’t believe the papers he was reading, he couldn’t believe any of it and he knew why.

The two of them sat on the couch across from him didn’t, but he knew why.

“They were faxed to us…” Fiestl answered..

“By who?”

“It’s whom…” Fiestl corrected but bit his tongue when Javier shot him the meanest look he could muster, “We don’t know.”

Javi blew out a breath, a heavy breath before dropping the papers in his hand to the coffee table between them, “So, the two of you are in the possession of 73 pages of stolen, classified CIA documents and you don’t know who sent them?”

“They’re files which prove the CIA has been illegally tapping our phones, embassy phones—”

He scoffed, moving for a cigarette, “Which were sent to you illegally—"

“I think we should be more focused on what the CIA is doing, Peña,”

They couldn’t exactly see into his head, but that was exactly what he was focused on.

These records had everything, every phone conversation they overheard, even Fiestl’s conversations with his kid… But none from his home phone line. None from the phone he used to call you and that didn’t seem like a coincidence.

Was it because you knew about the wiretaps and had his home phone excluded so you wouldn’t get caught? Was it because you sent the files to his agents and wanted to keep your private phone records out of it once you found out? Or was he jumping to conclusion? Did you not know at all?

“What do we do?” Van Ness postured, breaking him out of his thoughts as he brought the cigarette back to his lips.

“We need to figure out why the two of you were sent these, who sent them…”

“No, what do we do about the CIA?” Van Ness reiterated but Javi just shook his head.

“Well, we stop using our phones, but we don’t know why these were sent to us… we don’t know what the person who sent these wants from us. Maybe they’re looking to catch the two of you with stolen files, or trying to bring down the CIA…” He inhaled another breath of smoke, “We can’t play into their hand.”

“What about that the agent in your office, would she…?”

“I don’t know.” He shook his head, “I don’t know what anyone would do at this point…”

—

They reviewed the files about a thousand more times, looking for any clue as to who would send them the files or why would they send them the files… But nothing came up. Eventually, he had to head back to Bogota and get ready for the Ambassador’s party.

“You call me on the sat phones only.” He reiterated as he left with a promise to do more investigating on his own back at the embassy. And once he got off the plane, he went back to his apartment, got ready and headed towards the hell that would be the Ambassador’s party.

Because you were going to be there. And he was going to have to talk to you.

He was going to have to ask you some of the questions that were burning in his mind.

Did you know? Did you send the files? Did he trust you?

It would have all been easier if you weren’t wearing that goddamn dress.

Perched on the Ambassador’s desk, your legs crossed at the ankle , one heel over the other, and a drink in your hand, the dress only fell second to the plastered smile on your face as you entertained the officials around you. It was just a black cocktail dress, but it fit you perfectly, it made you a goddamn beauty right there in the middle of the room, catching his attention and taking his breath away immediately.

How the hell was he supposed to ask you if you either knew about the CIA’s illegal wiretapping or if you illegally smuggled documents to his agents…

“Agent Peña, I’m glad you made it.” The Ambassador quickly intercepted him before he could make his way to you though. “How was Cali?”

“It was fine, sir.”

“Get yourself a drink, socialize will you? People love to meet a hero.” He shook his shoulder slightly to shake the message through just in case it wasn’t clear why he was invited. He couldn’t help but laugh at it even as he walked further into the party.

He was there to be the hero, surely you were there to be smart and look good, just like Stechner used the two of out in the jungle. And while he was planning to head straight to the drink table, you seemed to be playing your role expertly, your legs and collar bones on display while you spoke animatedly to the officials around you.

That was, until you caught sight of him across the room, quickly finished your drink and excused yourself for another, making it to the drink table as he did.

“Welcome back, Agent Pena.” You cooed almost tauntingly as you sidled up to him at the table, a smirk painting your lips, one he wished he could mirror.

He wished he could play this game with you, he loved playing this game with you… It was getting you coffee and dropping it at your desk like it was nothing, it was following you into the file room to steal a few kisses, it was being fully immersed in an office romance and calling it anything but while trying to be casual.

But he didn’t have the heart for it as Fiestl’s words and the taunting lines of the files he just spent the past hours reading over and over again flowed through his head, taking over every thought.

He wanted to trust you, but he couldn’t do it blindly. He needed to talk to you, and if that risked everything… he needed to. He couldn’t have this with you without answers. He needed to know he could trust you.

“Is everything okay?” Your smirk fell away as he froze in thought, but even as he recovered and began making his drink with a nod, you certainly didn’t seem to believe him. You nudged him again, as best you could while staying casual around so many prying eyes before whispering, “Javi…”

“I need to talk to you.”

Those were some of the words he hated hearing in a relationship, he couldn’t even believe he was the one saying them. But you didn’t flinch from them as he always would. You just nodded and continued fixing your own drink.

“Okay, we can slip away—”

“Aw, look at my two favorite agents.” Because why would the two of you be able to escape Stechner for just two fucking seconds— “Is this for me?”

The balding CIA station chief wrapped his arm around your waist possessively as he reached for the fresh drink in your hand and Javi couldn’t help the sickness that rose in his stomach, he couldn’t even quench it by taking a hefty sip of his own drink.

“Agent Peña, do you mind if I steal my agent for a minute.”

He hated that he even asked, this man only spoke in condescension, it was disgusting. Like you were just a tool at his disposal, a weapon to keep strapped to his hip to use as he pleased. Javi hated it. It wasn’t even about the CIA wiretaps, it was just about you now.

“Why don’t you ask her?” He scoffed into his glass but Stechner just laughed.

“Well if I asked her, she’d have to say yes, she works for me…” He chuckled, turning his face to whisper something into your ear and you nodded. “Excuse us.”

You gave him a nod carefully, assuring him everything was okay as you were pulled away and he gave you one back. He’d just have to catch you when you came back.

That was if you came back.

He tooled around for at least an hour, talking to diplomats and soldiers he was hoping to avoid all together. He played nice though, while he waited. He sipped on his drink and smiled, he told brief Escobar stories and even laughed when he felt the Ambassador’s eyes on him, just waiting for you to come back.

And checking his watch as you walked back in, he knew you had been gone for an hour and a half before you stalked directly for him and excused him from his conversation.

“Let’s go home.”

He didn’t even have time to let his heart flutter around the idea of you calling going back to his apartment going home. You left his side and began saying your goodbyes before slipping out on his own, and left him no choice but to do the same a few minutes later, shaking the Ambassador’s hand and meeting you by his car.

That sly smirk you had at the drink cart was gone. Your whole natural disposition when the two of you were alone together was gone.

Whatever Stechner had said had set you off in some way, so the last thing he wanted to do was spark this for you before you were in private, before he had you back at home. But the second he got you back, opening the door to the apartment and letting you in first as he always did, you moved straight for his liquor cabinet.

“Querida, what did—”

“You said you needed to talk to me about something?” You didn’t let his question even finish, you just asked yours back and filled up a glass with more than a couple of fingers of whiskey before downing a heavy sip.

Now he wasn’t so sure if he did.

“Is it about what happened in Cali?’ You hummed the question the downed another sip, finally turning back to him and beginning to strip your heels off.

“Yeah, it is…”

“So?”

He took a step forward and inhaled a deep breath, with your eyes on him like this, he couldn’t hold off anymore. He needed to know he could trust you, he had to ask…

“My Cali team was faxed 73 classified CIA documents…” He shifted his gaze to his feet, he just couldn’t look at you and that dress, not if he wanted to get out all the points he needed to. “We don’t know who sent them, but they show the CIA has been illegally wiretapping the DEA embassy and personal phones…”

He watched you down the rest of your glass with a throw of your head back then place the glass back on the table. But you didn’t say anything, not right away, not until he moved to ask the question, enough time passing for you to finally process his words.

“What the hell are you accusing me of, Javi…”

“I’m not—”

Your scoff cut him off, bringing his stare back to your body as you turned to lean over the drink cart. “You’re telling me this morning in the shower, ‘we don’t talk about work’, but now we are, and you think you’re not accusing me of something? Why the hell else would you bring this up?”

“Because I need to ask what you know—”

“Oh, fuck you Javier.”

He had never heard your voice take that tone, not with him. He had heard it on the phone a few times but never directed to him, it wasn’t a sound he ever wanted to hear again. And as his face fell, his hand gripping the edge of his kitchen counter tight enough to nearly make his hand numb, he watched you take another step closer to him, the drinks left behind.

“Go ahead, ask me, see if you can do it without accusing me of either illegally spying on you or illegally faxing files to your agents, betraying my agency.” You fought, folding your hands over your chest almost defensively as he brought his hands to settle on his hips, chin raising to the challenge.

“Betraying your agency?” He scoffed, regretting it as it flowed from his lips, but he was too deep into I now. “You mean betraying the condescending man who treats you like a piece of meat that he owns, who undermines your ability and your assignments—”

“Yeah, he’s the condescending one…” you met his scoff with one of your own.

He tried to tell himself that it was the drinks that were fueling you and your smart mouth but that didn’t little to ease the slowly boiling heat in his chest.

“You think I am?” He fought defensively, his mustache twitching as his lips formed around the words.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Javier.” You shook your head, the exasperated words falling from your lips before you cared to stop them,“god, you’re accusing me of betraying my agency for what? For you? For this?”

For this? What even was this? He knew how he felt about you and he thought he knew how you felt about him but he was too blind in the moment to care about any of it. The heat in his vision paled in comparison to the heat of your body pressed against his, yet he kept shouting, hoping he’d feel less cold.

“It’s either that or you’ve been helping the CIA spy on my agents—”

Your chuckle was drenched in the same tone, “Which is a crime, you’re accusing me of a crime.”

“You work for the CIA and I’m not, I’m just asking because I don’t know—”

The hit at your agency might have been a low blow but was he wrong?

“And you have no proof—”

“I do have proof. Of the CIA, of you…” He took another step forward as your face twisted into confusion. “Of all the files sent over, Fiestl’s call with his kid, Van Ness and his mother… my phone calls weren’t there and I only ever call the office or you…”

You took an extra second to process that accusation, not a long one, but just one long enough to let you both catch your breath, to stop the interruptions and shouting.

Just long enough until you could only produce one word.

“Wow.”

Somehow that one hurt most of all.

His whole tone shifted, but yours merely hardened, “Querida, I don’t want to—”

“No, clearly you have it all figured out. 73 documents and it’s what you don’t have which caught me so clearly red-handed—” You couldn’t force more sarcasm into your tone if you tried but he wasn’t laying down just yet.

“I wanted to offer you a chance to tell me otherwise, I wanted to hear your side of the story—”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you! God, I’m so stupid.” You brushed your hair back and scoffed, holding your hands atop your head. “When you trust someone, you don’t accuse them of crimes against their country, Javier. And clearly I was stupid to trust you—”

“I do trust you, but if you had what I had, you’d be asking me the same thing—”

“No, Javier, I wouldn’t. Because I’m the idiot who wore this dress for you.”

You could’ve worn any dress in your closet, hell, you could’ve gotten away with the pant suit you wore to work. But you knew he’d like this one, you wanted him to like you in this one...

“Querida—”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

“The CIA is spying on my agency, I have proof of that, and I’m sleeping with a CIA agent. I have a responsibility to my agency to figure out what they know, what they’re using it for, and to exhaust every possible avenue to figure that out—”

He sounded like the DEA handbook and he didn’t like it, but the words just fell out, or more so, we’re pushed out by the heat still bubbling over in his chest.

“Oh boo hoo, Javi. You’re under stress? This is fucking Colombia.” You scoffed, reaching down for your heels and purse, “Stechner pulled me aside tonight to tell me he’s diverting funds from my human trafficking tracking program to focus on Cali and your stupid fucking drugs, and the man I’m just ‘sleeping with’ just accused me of a couple of crimes. But yeah, clearly you’re under stress, that makes this okay.”

“I didn’t accuse you of—” He thought about lifting his hand in a show of surrender but the anger within him wouldn’t even allow it, even if the alternative was to watch you walk away.

“I’m such an idiot…” You blew past him, knocking shoulders with him but he turned around quickly to grab your wrist, only to have you rip it away, “Goodnight, Javier.”

His hand held out where it last touched yours, embodied by the haunting grip now. It wasn’t foreign, it was him, and it just pushed the woman he loved right out the door.

As the door slammed shut behind you and he walked straight to the drink table and picked your empty glass up. He filled it once, downed it, filled it again, downed it, then took the empty glass and threw it as hard as he could into the wall, shattering the glass around his apartment.

“Fuck.”

It wasn’t the stress. He did it. He could call it stress or the drinking or the fact that he’s never felt as alone as he did when his agents showed him files which implicated you... he didn’t want to believe it but it made sense. All signs pointed to you.

Except one. His gut.

His gut which screamed you wouldn’t, that he trusted you and you wouldn’t do either of the things he accused you of.

You wouldn’t betray your agency and you would have warned him if you knew about the wiretaps. He knew that, he trusted you.

What the fuck did he just do...

—

tags:

@the-feckless-wonder @arrowswithwifi @ms-dont-care @leo-moon @tiffdawg @readsalot73 @way-too-addicted-to-anime @keeper0fthestars @adikaofmandalore @opheliaelysia @magneticbucky @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @larakasser @littlevodika @mandoren @mistermiraclee (open)

[rosecorcoranwrites]

Censorship and Banning Books

As I mentioned in my last Rant Rave Review, as of last Monday, six books by Dr. Seuss are now officially out-of-print, and they are out of print due to supposedly racist, offensive, and/or stereotypical images. The company that owns the rights to these books is no longer publishing them and some websites are no longer selling them. People who do own the books, or who swooped into stores and bought them the day of the announcement, are now selling them for hundreds or thousands of dollars. So, what are we to make of all this?

Is Dr. Seuss Racist?

There are actually three questions here: is the man racist, are his books racist, and are those images racist? The answer to the first is, he kinda was, and then he got over it. During the war, he was openly against the Japanese, and in favor of the internment camps, then went to Japan during the occupation and realized, hey, maybe these are just people. Apparently, he wrote Horton Hears a Who in response to the US occupation and dedicated it to a Japanese friend. People can change, if you let them.

Okay, well, what about his books? This is an obvious "no". Race basically doesn't come up in Dr. Seuss stories, except "The Sneetches", which is actively against racism. Which, in some people's fevered imaginations, makes it racist. Yes, in some Olympic-level mental gymnastics, saying that whatever race you are isn't important, ie being against "racial essentialism" means that you are a racist. Such people think that the story doesn't address "structures of power" and "systemic oppression". This is true. It's instead a story about a sleazy businessman who goes in and preys on existing racial biases in order to make a buck, constantly telling people to think of their identities in terms of their outward appearance. You'd think the racial essentialists would appreciate the representation.

But I digress.

What about the images themselves? Are they racist? Not having seen all of them, I can't say for sure, but some are definitely cringy. Take the yellow skinned "Chinaman who eats with sticks" in And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street. Though one could argue that the entire book uses only five colors: yellow, red, blue, and touches of purple and green, this man is the only human whose skin is colored at all. Later editions of this book have actually changed the image and text:

Honestly, I think this is fine. The meter still scans, and the image isn't straight-up removed. I mean, we could maybe discuss whether it's okay to alter an author's work, but he was alive when at least one of these these changes was made, so I think he allowed it.

Next we have some from If I Ran the Zoo, like this one, of some Asian dudes who "all wear their eyes at a slant":

I think, in this case, the text is the problem, but not the picture. Though some describe this image as "exotified", I think it's more just exaggerated, as are most of Dr. Seuss's characters. He doesn't do things half way. Aside from that, the picture is kind of cute and silly; nothing in it is derogatory or mean to the helpers. The text on the other hand... oof. Yeah, I would say this is a true example of something "offensive". I could see changing that (as long as the meter still scans!).

And then there are the fellows holding the tufted mazurka:

That's pretty bad. So bad that as a child, I don't think I actually registered that those were supposed to be humans, but rather other Seussian creatures. It doesn't help, again, that in his color pallet, people that would ordinarily be brown are now black-black, not unlike the most racist images of yesteryear. But the fact that their lips are left uncolored, I think, is what gets me. It's a little too close to black-face for comfort. Again, I think it would be okay to alter the image: color in their lips, change the shading. I know some people quibble with their costume, but some peoples do wear little amounts of clothing, so I don't think thats the issue here.

I can't speak to the other books, because I haven't seen those pictures, but I would say, yeah, some of the images and phrasing are problematic. I don't think that means the books are racist. Seuss isn't saying the Asian helpers or the African mazurka wranglers are less than the white child running the zoo. He is exotifying them to some degree, but the degree to which that is being done can, I believe, be fixed with very minor alterations.

Should the Books Be Banned?

Again, I think there are a couple questions here: are these books being banned, and should they be banned?

In our increasingly-willing-to-cancel culture, people like to talk about the difference between government censorship vs. corporate censorship, which is a valid topic. But when it comes to huge corporations like Amazon banning books from their website for hate speech or Ebay halting the ability of vendors to sell certain titles on their platform, to say "it’s a private corporation, so it's not censorship" is disingenuous. Maybe it doesn't violate the First Amendment, but it is censorship. A single bookstore refusing to sell a book, a single library refusing to carry a book, is censorship.

A single company that owns the rights to a book refusing to sell it is 100% censorship. I'm personally offended by the idea of any book being out-of-print in the day and age of print-on-demand, but I'm especially sickened when companies pull this nonsense. This is similar to foreign companies who refuse to publish novels, games, and videos in English copyright striking fanlations; they are not losing money, so why do they care?

In the case of the Seuss estate, or whoever owns the rights, all that they are doing is denying poor people access to books. That's right, if you can shell out $786 for a children's book, you can read these delightful stories. What's that? You're a single mom who works two jobs? Well, sucks to be you.

What's really vile is that people are saying, "It's only six books. You still have the others." First off, this is admitting that those six books are now censored and unavailable. Secondly, this is a stupid argument. It's like saying, "Well, the Nazi's didn't burn every book in Germany. There were plenty of others." What if I wanted to read the ones that were burned?

And that brings us to the question of whether or not those books ought to be banned. Heck, should they even be altered? Some of you might have balked at my saying I was fine with the images being changed; isn't that censorship? I think that would take it's own blog post, but here I'll just say that I don't think the changes I discussed would really alter the content, message, or meaning of the work. That being said, I don't think you have to change the images either.

That is, I think it's okay to publish, purchase, own, and read problematic material. As many commentators have pointed out, no child is going to be made into a racist by reading these books or seeing these images. Any racist or even iffy overtones are going to go right over their heads unless parents point them out. If, in the one in a million chance, your child actually notices anything wrong with the images, like "why is his skin yellow?" or something, then you can have a conversation about how sometimes, back in the day, people drew some not-so-nice pictures of Asian people and thought their skin should be painted as yellow, but we don't do that anymore, but this book was written a long time ago, etc etc. If they ask about what a Chinaman is, say it's an old word for a Chinese person, but you should never say it, because it can hurt people's feelings. Talk to your children; it isn't hard.

Should Any Books Be Banned

If you've been paying attention to what's been happening in book land lately, you'll know that Dr. Seuss's books are not the first to be put on the chopping block. Last year, Abigail Shrier's book, Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters, was removed from Target due to requests of trans activists. It was returned after backlash. Now I think it might be banned again? Who can even keep up anymore. Similarly, When Harry Became Sally: Responding to the Transgender Moment, by Ryan T. Anderson, has now been removed from Amazon for being "hate speech".

In the microcosm of the library world, I've had some people take issue with certain controversial books. When processing our new books, my part-timer picked up Irreversible Damage and asked, "Did someone request this?" as if we shouldn't have ordered it if they didn't. Both that book, and White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, by Robin DiAngelo, were face out in our new book area, since they were the newest books. The former was turned backwards or put spine out with the older books multiple time by patrons, the latter turned backwards once. During the election, I found books for and against Trump hidden behind other books.

My question for people who do this in the library, and for corporations who do essentially the same thing on a massive scale, is who exactly do you think you are helping? Do you think anyone's mind is going to be changed on Trump? Or transgenderism, or white fragility, just by reading a book?

If the answer is "no", then why bother banning or hiding them? If the answer is yes, then that means you think books have the power to change minds, but you want to deny that opportunity to people. Rather than debating ideas, or writing a better book, or showing people why they shouldn't think a certain way, people are increasingly trying to banish certain ideas entirely. How dare an author question X, Y, or Z idea? How dare people be allowed to have an opinion different from the one we say they should!

What's so frustrating about cancel culture and censorship is that people think they really are trying to do the right thing. What they don't realize is, the people they cancel also think they are doing the right thing.

Take Irreversible Damage: obviously, those that want it banned think that trans kids will be hurt by the ideas expressed in the book, that they will be denied hormones and surgeries and so forth. I'm sure Abigail Shrier believes that trans kids would be hurt by no one examining the idea of wether or not they should be given hormones and surgeries as minors. Both sides care about kids. Both sides are trying to figure out how to help people. If you think that Shrier is wrong and her book is dangerous, then write a more compelling argument explaining why she's wrong.

An example of the right way to go about this is with White Fragility, a book that some people see as problematic, if not racist against white people or black people or both. People have written books specifically refuting the ideas in the book. Others have compiled titles that handle race more tactfully and that can be read instead. And that's the thing; you can choose what to read. You can choose never to read a book deemed problematic, but you have no right to take that choice away from other people.

Where Do Libraries Fall Into All This?

That "right to read" is one of the pillars or librarianship. The reason libraries exist is so that all people, regardless of money, have equal access to books, movies, and other aspects of our shared culture. We librarians understand that books are important not just for education, but also entertainment and escape. Stories are how we as humans process ideas, and everyone has a right to expose themselves to ideas--even controversial or dangerous or flat out wrong ones. They have the right to examine different sides of an issue and form their own conclusions. To try and control what a person reads is to try and control what they think, and no government or corporation has that right.

Thus, libraries don't ban books, wether those books are literary classics, modern treatises on current events and ideologies, or silly picture books by Dr. Seuss.

So it was with some concern that I got an email saying that our county library district would be taking the six Seuss books in question out of circulation. The rationale was that, given that a single book was selling for hundreds or thousands of dollars, some sticky-fingered patrons might steal then from the shelves or "lose" them after checking them out.

Though this logic was sound, I still had misgivings, especially because of incidences of library censorship in the past. Yes, even libraries have not been immune to the scourge. During the Cold War, some libraries would keep books about communism behind the reference desk so that people would have to ask to read them in the library. Not only did this potentially help identify commies, it also discouraged people from reading the books.

Thus, when our new policy is to keep the Seuss books "at the desk" and only let them be read in the library, is that not censorship? Is this accidental censorship, or perhaps intended by the very cancel culturists who want all problematic books to be sent down the memory hole?

No, I don't think it is, because--despite what the very mob who’s in favor of all of this would have you believe--intention matters. Reasons matter. We are not trying to make the books harder to read; we're trying to keep the books from becoming impossible to read. By protecting the books from theft, we're ensuring that the poor as well as the rich can enjoy Dr. Seuss's stories. This, in my mind, is similar to chained up bibles: it looks bad, until you remember that books were rare and expensive, and illuminated manuscripts even more so. If someone steals a book, no one gets to read it, but if a book is under lock and key, some people still can.

Of course, everyone could, if companies would simply stop censoring books, if stores would stop banning them, and if well-intentioned but short-sighted activists would stop digitally burning them. But maybe that's too much to hope for at present. For now, we librarians will have the books safe and sound for when you want to read them. You have only to ask.

[imagineofallkindsxxx]

Eternal Flame- Kol Mikaelson 7/?

A Hundred Dead Witches!?!

Summary: 'You never know whats in a persons heart until you truly know them' - Belle French, Once Upon a Time

Singing. Thats all what Alexandra Gilbert has cared about since she was young and all she would care about until she met him.

With Alexandra fighting vampires, werewolves and all between she may do a thing she vowed never to do, fall in love.

And to think it all started with a walk in the woods...

Tonight was the night of Illuminations, a town tradition that has been going on for centuries so a group of us had volunteered to help or in my case forced to. While hanging lanterns from the trees Carol Lockwood decided to make a speech to the volunteers deciding to thank the people actually doing the work instead of sitting around making speeches along with introducing Tobias Fell. 

"Remind me why we're here again?" I whispered to Mark but before he could answer Sam butted in. 

"It's my uncle Tobys night, my mom's forcing me to volunteer and I'm sure as hell not doing it on my own." Making me roll my eyes at the bassist. 

  "Yo, what'd I miss" James said coming behind us making me jump out of my skin giving him a push. 

  "Nothing the speech is about to begin." Sam informed him. 

  "The first illumination..." He started, going on about history of the town and the founders. 

"I'm gonna dip. Finish my lantern" I whispered to James making him look at me incredulously. I just looked at him and blew a kiss at the drummer before a quietly and as slyly as possible trying to escape the wrath of Sam Fell who although may look skinny and weak can destroy you. 

When it looked like I was in the clear for now I walked up to Caroline and Bonnie who were tying lanterns to a branch.

"-comment on that." 

"Comment on what?" 

"There. You Commented" 

"I'm confused, what are you commenting?" Asking the duo confused at what is going on and what is being commented. 

"What do you want me to say Caroline?" She asked clearly distressed before finally addressing me "I went against the balance of nature when I brought Jeremy back to life and now, I'm paying the consequences. Whenever he wants to see Anna and she wants to see him, she's still here". Jesus this is fucked up. 

"Bon..." I started looking at her sympathetically before Caroline butts in 

"I want you to tell me you're not okay with it." 

"I'm a thousand times not okay with it. I just don't know what to do about it" she said looking deflated at the entire situation making me throw my arm around her shoulders in comfort. 

"You, Bonnie Bennett are the most powerful, smartest and amazing witch. You'll figure out, trust me. You're Bonnie Bennett for Christ sake!" She smiled at me giving a small laugh before a blue Camaro comes out of nowhere pulling up with a raven haired vampire driving. 

"Greetings, blondie, witchy, brainy. I think you got your voodoo wires all crossed when you got rid of Vicki Donovan." She tells us with an annoyed expression on his face. 

"Vicki Donovan?" I questioned confused to how a dead vampire was being brought into this conversation, 

"What do you mean, why?" Bonnie questioned the annoyed/annoying vampire in front of her. 

"Because I'm pretty sure I just got spit-roasted by Mason Lockwood's ghost." He explained. What the hell did Damon do to that poor and attractive werewolf? 

"What?" Bonnie asked very confused. 

"And why exactly do you think that?" I asked wondering how Mason Lockwood was the first person he thought of.

"Maybe because he chained me to a chair and shoved a hot poker into my chest. let's say I'm having deja vu." With this being told me and Caroline both look at Bonnie who looks very confused and conflicted. 

"I thought you said ghosts couldn't interact with people." Caroline said talking straight to Bonnie thinking how it can't be possible that Bonnie may have been wrong. 

"They can't" 

"Yeah well, I don't have time for a vengeful Lockwood. When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead. Whatever you screwed up fix it." He ranted towards the witch after that he drove away extremely quickly and most likely above the speed limit. 

Across the road was Matt watching the interaction of the four of us. I was the first to cross the street to talk to the quarterback with Caroline and Bonnie following closely behind. I asked him quickly if he had seen Vicki.

"I haven't seen Vicki, I swear" He told us all before looking down upset about having to go through the loss of his sister a second time "I sent her back like you told me to do."

"Are you sure?" Bonnie asked making sure that Matt actually did get rid of Vicki "Because she has just as much reason to haunt Damon as Mason Lockwood does."

"90% of the people who have been killed in the past two years has as much reason to haunt Damon as much as Mason Lockwood." I added making Caroline nod in agreement.

"She's gone Bonnie. If she was here, I'd know it" I gave him a small sympathetic smile it clear that he was severely upset about this whole ordeal.

"Why do you think its Vicki and not Mason?" Caroline asked the witch.

"Because if any ghost other than Vicki Donovan has a physical foothold on our side, that means Damon's right." Words I never thought I'd hear "and something has gone really, really wrong." Bonnie states looking extremely worried about this situation and what would happen if all the ghosts from our past come to literally haunt us.

"I've had enough of this ghost stuff to last forever. So can you guys can leave me out of this one" Matt tells the three of us, I nodded understanding that if that happened to me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed forget going to work. He walks away from us, and you can hear Caroline talking.

"I feel so sad for him. It took a lot for him to send his sister away."

"Yeah" Bonnie replied shortly.

"I highly doubt I could do that, if I got to saw my mom or dad again... I don't know if I would be able to let them go." I stated feeling so much sympathy for the blue-eyed boy. "It took a lot of guts anyway." This made the other girls nod.

"So much strength in a man." Caroline continued looking at both of us.

"Caroline it's never going to happen, get over it." Rolling my eyes at her Insinuating that Matt would be a perfectly good boyfriend as she's done for the part two months.

"I've got a ghost problem to deal with, Caroline. Save the Jeremy lecture for later" She snapped while grabbing her bag all of her stuff falling out when the strap broke. I bent down and helped her pick up her things and just as she was going to put her grimoire up it opens itself to a page in the center of the book.

"Did that just..." I asked the witch and vampire not believing my eyes.

"I think so." Bonnie said cocking her head to the side while picking up the book reading the page that the book opened itself to.

"Okay please tell me that's a recipe for witch cookies" Caroline half joked half serious about the page Bonnie was currently reading.

"It's a manifestation spell. It's used to reveal veiled matter." Bonnie told us the meaning of the grimoires spell.

"What's veiled matter?" Caroline asked and before Bonnie answered I said in shock.

"Ghosts." looking at them all.

"What do we do? Do we do the spell? What is the spell exactly?" I questioned Bonnie repeatedly wanting the ghosts to be a thing in the past and look into the future.

"I think we need to go somewhere more private."

***

Caroline pulled her car up to an abandoned creepy looking house. the three of us enter the front room me and Caroline a little bit more apprehensively than Bonnie.

"So, this is where you brought Jeremy back to life?" I asked Bonnie looking around the room severely creeped out, the interior being as bad as the exterior.

"Yeah. Sorry, I know it's creepy, but we needed a private place to do the spell." Bonnie apologized getting ready to do the spell.

"Hmmm. There's no chance it's haunted by the hundred dead witches who were horrifically burned to death in this very spot, is there?" Caroline question clearly scared, and that question alone made me just as scared.

"A hundred dead witches?!"

"They're not here anymore. And they made it clear they were never coming back." she reassured us both trying to calm our nerves or well attempted to.

"Right. You pinkie swear?" Caroline asks trying to make a joke in the tense environment. Making me give her a look. I got the candles out and gave Caroline a lighter so she can help light the candles with me for Bonnie to start the spell.

"Ready do you need us to do..." I started turning around to see Bonnie already starting to start the spell "Right. Okay" I looked at Caroline while Bonnie was continuing to do the spell getting louder every chant a breeze beginning to surround us getting stronger and stronger by the second making everything in the room moves. Seeing all of this makes my eyes widen and start to worry about Bonnie and how safe this is for her.

"Bonnie, I don't like this. Bonnie..." Caroline voices my thoughts while also looking around that was until we saw something shocking.

"Oh my God, is that your...?" I started but couldn't finish due to the pure shock of what I as seeing. All three of us shocked Bonnie can't say anything, it even leaves Caroline speechless. The silence was broke with Bonnie saying quietly.

"Grams."

*************************************************

A/N:

Small chapter but next is quite long an different than others as a special character will be appearing. Hope you enjoyed, Part two will include more of the boys (a slight twist).

Please correct any grammar, spelling or British slang.

Any positive or negative feedback is appreciated.

Thanks for reading lovelies xxx 

[swedisheek]

hello stinky i would like to know who is your favourite mechanism and why, i expect a 2k word essay on my desk by friday

ah fuck ah shit they’re all so excellent i will instead list my favorite things about all of them in order of my vague memory of when they joined the crew. also i smell good how dare you. also FYI for anyone not informed about the Lore, all the shit i’m gonna reference below is a hundred percent canonical.

-jonny: has an ego three thousand times larger than his short ass, king of hubris and not understanding anything. loves his sister dearly, but draws the line at random orgies, which i respect. drags corpses onto the ship like a cat bringing home a kill and tells carmilla to fix his new friends. eyeliner and belt game slay me. (four belts? FOUR??) sad and totally made up backstory, he just lied to everyone’s face about his daddy issues and they were like “chill, let’s write a song where you play all the parts and burn down a casino.” eats people sometimes, which is a positive trait in my heart.

-nastya: my god, finally a voice of reason- ah never mind. her vibes are impeccable, my mysterious trans lesbian queen is unique and absolutely vibing <3 “fuck the ship-!” “i do :3″ is my favorite line of dialogue in anything ever. machinefucker and very proud of it, to an almost concerning degree. that one picture where she’s resting two of her fingers on her chin and cocking her hip as she looks up at the sky makes me Yell.

-toy soldier: my beloved it/its inanimate enby ts!! i love it bc it just. vibes. it has so much fun singing and playing instruments and just fucking around with its friends. who would’ve thought the war criminal with a stolen voicebox would be the most babey of this group?? SPEAKING OF ITS VOICE HOLY SHIT. TRIAL BY SONG CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS. adorable little nutcracker with the saddest fucking backstory infinity/10

-tim: so very very done with jonny but we all know they make out in “secret”. hit that fucking high note as loki so well, my god, he put his whole pussy into that! go gayboy relive that trauma! plays out of tune guitar like a champ and has a ten minute long song dedicated to him blowing shit up, what a power move. excellent hair and long sweeping coats, extremely gender of him.

-brian: ohhh sweet boy. but also totally commits atrocities? like he wouldn’t kill an octokitten that was eating marius alive but he’d let a million people die just so he didn’t have to hurt anyone, and that’s just on mje mode- his morals are so fucked, poor man. also hung upside down inside a sun for a century and respects the hell out of trans people and brings people back to life and those are just a few of my favorite things about him. he fully committed to the steampunk look when he got mechanized and i love that so much. also has the potential to be a tumblr sexyman.

-ashes: ASHES!! ashes ashes ashes. first off what a fucking good name that’s like a murderer naming themself Dead People. they’re the hottest, it’s just a fact, sorry everyone but they are just. mmm. carries around gold bars and cigars and gasoline and nothing else which i respect so much. (though where do they put that stuff? their hat??) sings excruciatingly beautifully and snarks at all the idiots they call their friends and practices the three r’s (rage, repression, and radicalness) so i cannot not love them.

-ivy: mystery wife! her whole thing is stories and yet she doesn’t know her own that’s so fucking pog of her. what does an archivist on a spaceship even do dawg it’s not like the other guys care about the cultures they’re annihilating, i’m pretty sure she just sits in her bunk and reads. why did she need her brain replaced? why does she have such crazy memory problems? how does her new brain calculate all these percentages? we don’t know! she’s very cute and wears fishnets and has a mohawk-ponytail which i adore. play me to sleep on ur flute please miss

-raphaella: twenty points right off the bat for having wings and wearing a knit crop top. what is she going for with her look, we don’t know, but she could do horrific experiments on me and i’d thank her, so it’s working, clearly. alternatively tortures and tops the shit out of marius, i will die on this hill. also a terrifyingly good singer, those little “the void siIings” in losing track make my breathing stop and the entirety of ties that bind is so fucking amazing i. hhhh

-marius: christ i love you mr neither a baron nor a doctor. the other guys are dumb but he’s the himbo of the group just for being That Way. also most of his characters’ (who are also himbos) lines are something along the lines of what the fuck or i don’t understand so i’m gonna punch you. he’s adorable and has such bastard vibes, even his outfit is ridiculous and cute. even though lyf was a cop he deserved to get a happy ending with them ok?? i just love him and his liddol raccoon face and he deserves a slow burn criminal/detective to crew mates to lovers.

OK JEEZ THATS A LOT. ARE YOU HAPPY ALEX. IM NOT GONNA DO AURORA OR CARMILLA BC CARMILLA LEFT AND AURORA NEVER TALKS TO ANYONE BUT NASTYA SO THERES NOT MUCH INFO ON HER PERSONALITY. WOO BOY.

[tired-toby]

it's been nearly a year since my first suicide attempt, since the worst summer of my fucking life that i STILL CANT REMEMBER.

and i feel like i've gone nowhere

i'm still the same piece of shit who couldn't even acknowledge the people she hurt, who still tries to victimize herself when she's anything but the victim, who is wasting the time of everyone around her

i know all this. i know these flaws. i'm self-aware and that makes it worse because despite everything i do i feel like i haven't gotten any better, like i haven't improved at all and if anything i've just sunk deeper into this pit

and it's not like i haven't had people reach out!

my math teacher has kept up with me the WHOLE YEAR yet time and time again i let myself fall short.

i want to be better. i need to be better, for the people that are here now and for those that i've hurt in the past.

for my guinea pigs. for my rats. for my dogs. for everyone.

yet here i am just fucking wallowing, crying on an empty blog that no one will read or give a shit about because it's just me.

i graduate soon. well. i /might/ graduate soon

god

i've fallen so far.

my friends are going to harvard, to mit. i feel like i'm just going to a shallow grave.

i wish things were easy, that i could take a few pills and just be /better./ i want to stop feeling this way, i just want to feel better. i've changed my ways! i only drink water, i eat healthier, i walk my dogs for two hours every day, i've taken up new and old hobbies. but i still fall into slumps, i feel like i am a slump.

i've barely told anyone but i haven't felt like myself in weeks and i'm so fucking scared. i feel like i don't know who i am anymore and the coping mechanisms that i've used to try and feel like myself aren't working like they used to. i feel like im fragmented and being pulled apart at the seams. maybe i'm giving myself too much credit

a overfilled trash bag thats splitting and spilling nothing but garbage

that's better.

i'm just overdramatic

i'm just tired

i even have a healthy sleep schedule, did i mention that? in bed by 10, up by 7. i walk my sister to the bus stop almost everyday.

i thought i did everything right. why doesn't it work why aren't i better why am i still the same asshole why am i no one why am i nothing why can't i just be better why am i not fucking dead

55 days until i'm 18

54 until the night i became the world's greatest failure

what kind of idiot fails to kill themself? twice, at that?

i feel like i'm faking this. i read these words i type and i cry and if eel like im faking it. that i'm doing it for attention. i'm manipulative, i lie to emotionally abuse people

i know this and i'm probably doing it now

seems like something i'd do

my mom says my laptop will be back soon, finally repaired. i don't think i mentioned it here but the harddrive broke and i lost everything

stories. hundreds of thousands of words and i WISH that was an exaggeration

my fucking POKEMON. ALL MY GODDAMN POKEMON!!! I BEAT SOUL SILVER WITH JUST AN AMPHAROS AND ITS FUCKING GONE. MARILYN IM SORRY. NOT TO MENTION ALL MY OTHER SAVES

all my art. all those sketches. i've barely drawn since, nothing feels right anymore. not like i know where my art tablet is anyway :/ that's just

gone

everything's gone

once i have a laptop again, i think i'll be happier. i hope i'm happier. my life is there, my happiness is there. it's not healthy to stare at a screen for who knows how many hours of a day but it makes me happy

i want to have fun with graey again. the weeks we'd spend just playing minecraft and stardew and we haven't been able to do anything because i'm just on my phone and a shitty school laptop that can't even run google and word at the same time

i don't know what i'm going to do. this whole thing is a mess, just so much bullshit. and it's barely the tip of the iceberg

i didn't even mention how my dad found another rope in my brother's room. part of me hopes it's not what i think it is and some part of how i once opened his girlfriend's snapchat and found him listed as daddy

fucking discord moderator lookin' ass. it's the trauma innit

i'm doing dnd again. it's not full campaigns, just one-shots with the sewer rats every other weekend or so where i dm and they can have fun.

i like making them happy

i love all of them. they're my family. caesar, crypt, xeno, cat, moe, roo, blink, cig, fox, graey, even fed and ag. if it weren't for you guys, i'd be nothing. i'd be gone.

caesar, you've been with me through everything. i wouldn't be here if you weren't there for me. i'm glad we're getting close again, i've missed your company

i'm glad i'm the one you tag when you see if anyone wants to watch u stream :)

crypt, for all the shit i give you i love you. when are we going to finish mamma mia together u rat ass bitch

xeno u are one of the funniest motherfuckers i've met, even if u are a literal fetus. whenever i see u join vc im always so fucking hyped

cat why r u so fucking racist. when r we gonna play phasmo

moe stop touching kids.

roo i am not gonna lie sometimes u feel like my mom i s2g granted u are geriatric so maybe that makes u my grandma. point still stands, also when r we gonna plot wren and dhova i want my twink-turned-twunk

blink i still need to dm u back give me a sec.

cig u are also a fetus but u are one of my FAVORITE people to brainstorm and plot with. UR BRAIN IS SO WRINKLY AND UR ALWAYS SO RESPONSIVE IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!

fox. ANOTHER FETUS. but also an amazing dm and just?? ur so creative. U ARE SO CREATIVE. UR CHARACTER DESIGN. UR ART SKILLS. ur so underappreciated?

graey when r we having the dildo battle. i will come to alaska and live in a shack in the woods with ur nasty unshowering ass if it means i get to punch u in the face irl and laugh abt the usual bullshit with you.

fed stop being british it's literally so gross idk how u do it. if u stop being british i'll stop bullying u abt ur terrible typing skills

ag u are just. cool. like if i had to pin someone as like the 'cool/chill' person of the sewers it would 100% be u i am ngl. play roblox cats with me u fucking coward

enough of being sappy. they need to stop accusing me of being a lesbian I AM NOT A LESBIAN

ok

im happy again

thinking about them makes me happy

in other news celestial bodies by ghost data is a nice song

[tubbinary]

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

 ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada.  ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You are about to get spammed with 600 dank memes. Prepare all nukes and weapons for the Great Spam War. If you can contain the amount of spam I have, you will be granted with special powers that allow you to smoke weed 200 times harder. Not only that, but you will have a laggy as fuck laptop. You know how lucky you are?????? My laptop runs at 669FPS and it never lags or is slow. YOU LUCKY SON OF A GUN. You will pay the price by me giving you a link (Which shall contain a download) which will wipe all your memory off the face of this universe and overwrite it with my own software, Memesoftlocker2.0000.0. You are so damn lucky you know that? NOT EVEN I HAVE IT SLUT. But if you were able to read up to this point congratulations, you suck. But click this link www.mymom.;;;;;;/eeeeeeee.crash; and you will be taken to a memory erase phrase. You lucky slut, but you will get the best computer software ever that makes your computer lag so bad that you can't even use it. LIKE HOW AMAZING??? Yes, I promise you this is 420% legit. But if you spread this abusive software you have EARNED I will suck you off this living universe so be careful buddy. Now, Please stop reading this message as it ends now...

Excuse me? I find vaping to be one of the best things in my life.  It has carried me through the toughest of times and brought light and vapor upon my spirit.  You're just another one of those people who doesn't believe in chem trails and fluoride turning us gay.  Your ignorance to the government is what makes you a sheep in today's society. Have fun being a slave to todays's system.

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯. ✋that✋is✋six✋fucking✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the pussy🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌fucker👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should kys🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

ifuckinglovecock2@hotmail.net

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ　ＲＴＺ，　Ｉ’Ｍ　ＴＲＹＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＲＮ　ＴＯ　ＰＬＡＹ　ＲＩＫＩ．　Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＨＡＶＥ　Ａ　ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＳＫＩＬＬ　ＢＵＩＬＤ：　ＳＨＯＵＬＤ　Ｉ　ＭＡＸ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ　ＥＧ，　ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ　ＳＯ　ＴＨＥＹ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＭＥ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＥＧ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＹＯＵ　７０％　ＯＦ　ＴＨＥ　ＴＩＭＥ，　ＯＲ　ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ　ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ　ＳＯ　Ｉ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง 

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

 (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

 (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

 (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽   

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ 

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง 

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) 

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽   

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง   

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

 ☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ  

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง   

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ 

 █▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out  

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽  

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ 

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ 

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ 

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ> 

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ  

 ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽  

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °) 

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ 

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง 

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)   

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them 

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN 

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

(/ﾟДﾟ)/ WE WANT SPELUNKY (/ﾟДﾟ)/

─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ  

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ POINT ME TO THE DONGERS (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ 

ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ArcheAge or BEES ヽ̛͟͢༼͝ຈ͢͠لຈ҉̛༽̨҉҉ﾉ̨

 ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ MRGLRLRLR ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉITS A HARD DONG LIFE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉMOLLYヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ GIVE MOLLY ༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ

 †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† By the power of donger I summon MOLLY †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTAKING A DUMPヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ WHAT DOESNT KILL ME ONLY MAKES ME DONGER ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ  

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ FOREVER DONG ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Mo' money, mo' Dongers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] 

༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Drop Bows on 'em ༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ HIT IT WITH THE FORK Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ  

Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ hit it with the fork Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ. * ・ ｡ﾟ Copypastus Totalus!! 

 ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ɪᴛs ʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy

  Fuck a hater , hit a snitch , your my girl 👭 , my 5 star bitch , i love you more than any dick 💕💯, && if i dont get this back 🕙 , you aint worth shit !! Send this to 8 girls you care about .. 💯 I love you , I love you forever !! 💯 Whoever stops this will suffer for 83 days !! 💯💯💯 Ready, set, GO !!!! in

  Stahp. 👋 🏻 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌ 🏼👌🏼💯

  ! ! ! ATTENTION 2003 KIDS ! ! ! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦O_O PERIODS ☹🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔☹ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️⃣TH GRADE)

[the-everlasting-dream]

No - Drake x MC

Summary: Elizabeth’s reaction to King Liam’s request from Chapter 2 of TRH

A/N: Oh look who’s alive and decided she remembers how to write. Thats right, I’m back with some subpar fiction and I hope you like Elizabeth’s honest reaction to the fiasco that was the beginning of this book. Some lines are obviously from the dialogue.

Word Count: 3408

Warnings: Swearing.

Tags: idk who even reads anymore so  @chantelle-x0x , @choicessa​, @mariamulroney , @drakewalkerwhipped​ , @quartzandarrow​ ,  @mfackenthal​ , @srawesleyghuewrites​ , @topsyturvy-dream​ , @enmchoices​ , @gardeningourmet​ @debramcg1106​ , @alesana45​ , @meladoridarcy, @blackcatkita​ , @tmarie82​ , @annekebbphotography​ , @lizk77​ , @jayjay879​ , @tornbetween2loves​ , @akrenich , @theroyalweisme , @likethetailofacomet​ , @sleepwalkingelite​ , @littleblossom-18 , @ooo-barff-ooo​ , @drakewalker04​ , @mkatschoicesblog​ , TRR only: @speedyoperarascalparty , @carabeth​ , Drake: @fairydustandsarcasm , @drakewalkerisreal​

‘To ask us if our future baby would be the ruler of Cordonia?’

The words rang in Elizabeth’s ears, the sound of her own voice alien to her as what Liam was alluding sunk in.

‘Liam.’ Her mouth moved but it was Drake who spoke, tone laced with disbelief.

‘I... I don’t know what to say. My kid sitting on the throne...’

My kid. Our kid.

They’d talked extensively about kids in the past month, agreeing that while they still both wanted children, it would be nice to spend some time together first as a couple. Surely Drake would say no. The next words that came out of his mouth shook Elizabeth to her core.

‘I mean it would be an incredible honor.. I don’t know what to say..’

She turned to gape at the man she now called her husband, remembering vividly how he’d described how excited he was to take their little one on the same camping trips like his own father had done, teaching them the art of making the perfect smore, giving them the life he wished he could have had. That picture of a little boy or girl with Drake’s hair and her eyes, a perfect mix of the two of them firmly planted on his shoulders seemed to evaporate when she heard those words.

‘Elizabeth. What do you say?’ Liam’s blue eyes turned on her in expectancy.

‘No.’

The word was out of her mouth before she could control herself but she didn’t want to take it back. She watched both their faces fall and straightened her spine, swallowing hard. ‘No. No Liam. I wish I was sorry but I am not. I’m not giving my child up for anything.’

‘Walker,’ Drake started, reaching for her hand but she wrenched it out of his grasp.

‘No. I said no.’

Seeing his mouth open again presumably to reason with her, she turned on her heel and stormed off down the beach. Anger boiled in her veins like never before, searing hot; she could barely think straight. Liam to coming here  — on their honeymoon, no less — and asking them for their literal unborn child was insurmountably selfish.

Hadn’t she giving up enough already? Was getting kidnapped, shot at multiple times, having the man she loved almost bleed out in front of her not enough? Was she to sacrifice her future family just because the king of Cordonia couldn’t get a date?

These and a thousand other venomous thoughts were swirling on her mind as she stalked off, heading in no particular direction except away from the conversation.

‘Walker wait up.’

Elizabeth did nothing to slow her pace as she heard Drake jog up to her. ‘Walker would you just stop for a minute? Elizabeth!’

Jerking to a halt, she waited until he was in her line of vision before fixing him with a poisonous look.

‘Jesus what was that?’

‘I could ask you the same damn thing. What the actual fuck Drake?’ She spat, not caring if anyone heard her.

‘Liz c’mon. It’s not like the kid wouldn’t be ours still.’

‘Drake do you even hear yourself? I thought you of all people would be with me on this. You’ve spent your entire life hating the nobles for their stuffy ways, you’ve ranted to me on enough occasions about how pretentious and prim and stuck up and snobby they are. Now you’re turning around and saying you’d sign our child up for that without a second thought?’

He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. ‘Walker, c’mon you know it’s not like that..’

‘Then tell me what it’s like!’ She screeched, her voice shrill as it no doubt carried down the beach to where the rest of their friends were waiting. ‘Because to me it seems like you’re willing to drop and show your belly every time Liam asks you for something. Have you forgotten you have a wife now or does my opinion weigh nothing?’

‘You know that’s not true Elizabeth,’ he snapped back angrily and some part of her was glad to see the reaction, any reaction. ‘He’s got a good reason. We married for love. Don’t you think Liam of all people deserves the same?’

‘I do. You know I do. But his happiness shouldn’t come at the price of ours.’

Drake ran a weary hand over his face. ‘Don’t you care about the future of Cordonia?’

She paused momentarily thrown by his question. ‘What I care about is the future of my family. Something that you obviously don’t share. I don’t get it Drake. I really don’t. You of all people know how dangerous the life of a monarch is. Assassinations, poisonings, coups. Did the situation with Anton teach you nothing? And the worst part is that you didn’t even think to talk to me about it? You’re happy to just agree with whatever ridiculous demands he dreams up!’

Drake glared at her. ‘That’s bullshit and you know it.’

Hot tears pricked the back of her eyes as Elizabeth met his gaze. ‘We promised each other that we would have each other’s back. All the time, one hundred percent. All we talked about after this whole wedding shebang was to have a normal life, the two of us and the family we would have together. At least that’s what I thought we both wanted.’

The look on his face told her that her words had been driven home. They stared at each other in silence for a long moment.

Say something. This is our first real fight. Say something. She begged him silently, watching as Drake opened and closed his mouth several times but no words came out.

‘I’ve got a beach ball here with both your names on it!’

Maxwells voice cut through the tension. ‘What better way to work through some newly wedded strife than to slap a ball at each other huh?’ He shot a grin at them before wrapping a hand around each of their arms, leading them toward where the others had all gathered.

‘Beaumont this is hardly the-‘

‘Splendid idea Maxwell,’ Elizabeth interrupted, snatching the ball angrily out of his hands. ‘You’re on my team.’

-

Tensions boiled hotter than the afternoon sun as the game took place on the sand opposite the villa.

Elizabeth barely made a sound the whole game, concentrating her entire effort on hitting either Drake or Liam in the face. It would have solved anything but it would have made her feel a whole lot better, she decided, spiking the ball towards her husband. She rolled her eyes as he flawlessly intercepted it, sending it sailing over the net to Hana. She didn’t forget how Liam was readily avoiding her eyes, tapping the ball sympathetically over the net towards her as some kind of convoluted apology. She hit the ball again, harder this time, treacherous thoughts of Rumplestiltskin and baby snatcher rolling through her head.

What kind of person asks another person for their baby? Go make your own goddamned baby. What do I look like? The baby making machine? He may be a king but I am a duchess and my body is mine and so is my child.

‘Elizabeth heads up!’

The warning was too late and she was midway through turning her head toward the sound when something slammed against the side of her face, the impact hard enough to knock her off balance onto her hands and knees on the sand.

‘Walker!’

‘Elizabeth! Oh my god! Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ she answered, brushing aside Hana’s hands, her ego wounded more than anything. Regaining her footing, she avoided all eye contact under the pretense of brushing the sand from her skin, keenly aware of Drake’s gaze on her.

‘I think I’ve had enough volleyball for one day.’

‘Elizabeth -‘ Maxwell began but she silenced him with a hand.

‘Max just... don’t. I want to be alone. Please.’

-

Steam rose off the bubbling waters of the outdoor jacuzzi as Elizabeth sunk deeper into the tub, trailing a hand through the churning foam, the other against her reddened cheek, her thoughts reflecting the same image.

This is my baby. Our baby — she corrected herself. Mine and Drake’s.

‘I want a little girl with your eyes and my hair.’

‘Not my hair?’

‘Hell Walker, you’re so perfect I’d take an exact copy of you.’

She laughed and they shared a cheesy smile as they both stared out at the waves crashing on the sand. She took another sip from her wine, feeling Drake’s eyes on her.

‘Something’s on your mind.’

‘What? N-no.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘I may have only been married to you for a month but I know when something’s bothering you Walker. So what is it?’

Elizabeth heaved a big sigh. ‘Its just… We didn’t get a ton of time as a couple before the whole wedding debacle happened. We’re still learning about each other.. And I know we’ve got the rest of our lives to do that…'

‘But?’ Concern leaked into his big brown eyes and she could tell he was trying to hide it so she cleared her throat resolving to just say it once and for all.

‘A baby means a big change. For us. As a couple and as ourselves. And I…’ She faltered.

His hand slipped into hers, squeezing comfortingly.

‘This last year has been amazing, me coming to Cordonia, becoming a duchess, marrying the love of my life, so many things have changed. I could do with some normal before another big change happens and shakes it up again.’

Drake tugged on her hand and she took the opportunity to climb into his lap.

'I only just got you. Is it selfish to want you all to myself for just a little bit longer?’

Elizabeth felt his lips on her head, pressing a gentle kiss there.

’Not at all.’‘I know you’re excited for a baby — I am too but I… I’m just not there yet.’

She buried her face in his chest, worried about what he was going to say next. ‘Its okay Liz. Its okay. We don’t have to jump into this thing head first.’

He hooked a finger under her chin so she’d look at him. ‘When it happens, if it happens, it doesn’t matter. All I care about is us. As long as we’re in this together, I’m down for anything with you Elizabeth.’

As the memory replayed in her head, Elizabeth couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal. Did all that mean nothing? Or perhaps Drake simply put more stock in Liam’s opinion than her own?

Now THAT hurt to think of. She was very familiar with the bro code but surely that didn't still apply after freaking marriage?

Why us? That was another puzzle, she couldn’t solve. Why Drake and I specifically? Wouldn’t it make more sense if Liam absolutely HAD to appoint a heir to appoint one from one of the longer standing noble houses? What made her so special?  

For the briefest moment, another thought crossed her mind. Surely he can’t still be in love with me...?

Elizabeth shook her head, perishing the thing from her mind. That door was long closed. If a public wedding wasn’t a big enough sign of rejection, she didn’t know what was. Was there something she was missing here? Something everyone knew about except her? Why did it seem logical to everyone to take someone else’s child and make them heir when you are perfectly capable of making your own?

‘Got room for one more?’

Elizabeth picked her head up to see Hana standing in the doorway, a pair of brightly coloured cocktails in her hands. She shrugged in reply, gesturing to the space beside her, gladly accepting the beverage. The cool liquid soothed her dry throat and she sipped it appreciatively, feeling marginally better.

‘Thanks Hana. You always know what to do to make me feel better.’

The other woman smiled softly. ‘What are best friends for? We missed you’

‘I missed you guys too.’ Elizabeth could not help the corner of her mouth lifting for a moment before it dropped back down, her somber mood settling back in. ‘Are things back home as... turbulent as he says?’

Needing no clarification, Hana’s pretty face crumpled in regret. ‘Truth be told Elizabeth, things are more tense than Liam let’s on. As soon as Anton’s trial was over and you guys left for your honeymoon, we received delegates from our neighbours Monterisso and Auvernal. I’m not sure if Bertrand taught you the history behind those countries.’

When Elizabeth shook her head, her friend continued.

‘Back then both countries were at odds with each other, always fighting, always trying to undermine each other. Cordonia was in the middle. The neutral ground so to speak. So it was only logical that each of them would try to win us over to their side so they’d finally gain the upper hand over each other. Constantine’s reign was the only thing stopping either of them from overwhelming us. And when Liam ascended the throne…'

‘Power newly transferred is the easiest to be taken,’ Elizabeth finished.

Hana nodded. ‘Since Liam doesn’t have an heir or any marriageable prospects really, he looks weak. And as a new king, in the middle of a political battlefield, he looks easy.’

‘But why me Hana?’ she burst out. ‘Why does it have to be us?’ She watched her friend’s pretty face crumple in through for a moment.

‘Because he trusts you and Drake the most. All the other houses, other nobles. Sure they might be happy to give up one of their own for the throne if Liam asked, who knows what agenda they have… I’m not telling you to do anything. Just keep all that in mind okay?’

Hana placed a comforting hand on her leg. ‘I’m going to get out before I turn into a prune,’ she joked, getting to her feet. ‘Bertrand would be horrified if we showed up to dinner in this state. You coming?’

Elizabeth nodded vaguely, turning over the new information in her mind. ‘I’ll be right there.’

-

Dinner was a tense affair. To make things worse, the conversation immediately ceased when Elizabeth took her place at the shared table, next to Bertrand. After a few moments of sporadic mumblings and pushing her food around her plate, she stood up abruptly, making her excuses and leaving, ignoring the gazes of her friends behind her.

The sea wind whipped at her hair, tousling it beyond taming as Elizabeth stared out into the dark horizon, kicking at the sand as she ambled down the beach. Her mind still turned over Hana’s words from that afternoon, now that she’d had time to process it, she was beginning to see the reasoning.  

‘Can I join you?’

She shrugged, not needing to look up to know that it was Drake. ‘There’s nuff beach for the both of us.’

‘How’s your cheek?’

‘Its fine.'

They continued like that for a little while longer, walking two feet apart, both of them silent as she ignored the way his eyes begged her to look at him. Rubbing her arms, Elizabeth shivered slightly as the cold sea air nipped her skin. She turned her head to see Drake already shrugging off his denim shirt, having noticed.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Just take it. You may be mad at me but I’m still not going to let your stubborn ass freeze.’

He stepped closer, his hands were warm when they touched her, settling the fabric over her shoulders protectively. Their faces were inches away and for the first time since that afternoon on the beach, she dared to look up into his dark eyes.

‘Thanks.’

He shook his head in a gesture of dismissal, pausing briefly to gather himself. ‘I’m sorry about earlier.’

‘Me too.’

The crashing of the waves on the beach was all that could be heard for a few moments. ‘Is that really something you wanna subject our kid to?’ She said finally, breaking the silence. ‘Liz…'

‘I’m not mad anymore. I just… I wanna understand where you’re coming from.’  

Drake let out a huge sigh, tipping his head back to the night sky above them. ‘I know its out of character for me.. that I’m the last person who would want this.’

‘No kidding. You’ve spent your entire life hating that place. Two days after we met you were warning me about the nobility and how toxic they were and now...'

‘You’re right,’ Drake admitted, lacing his hands behind his head and staring up into the sky, sighing in defeat. ‘You’re right.’

‘So what changed your mind?’ Elizabeth watched her husband think for a long moment.

‘To be honest,’ he said finally. ‘It was you. You were the one who showed me that a person could go through that place and still be the same honest, down to earth girl I fell in love with. What you’ve done to this country, in the last year, generations of nobles couldn’t achieve in decades. You showed me that there’s more to the nobility than gilded walls and politics.’

Drake’s eyes took on a faraway look now. ‘Yeah when you got that duchess title, I was a little scared that you’d finally be one of them but you’re not. You didn’t let it define you, you used it to make a difference like you did for me, the court… hell, the whole kingdom. So when I thought about how our home needs our help… how my best friend needs our help, I knew that with you by my side, if anyone could raise an heir with a good head on his or her shoulders, it’d be us.’

Elizabeth dropped her head to hide the small smile that broke through. ‘You’re doing it again.’

‘What?’

‘Making me fall in love with you.’ She looked up at him. ‘A little prince or princess raised by two former commoners could do a lot of good around there.'

Drake didn’t say anything as he wrapped his arms around her and she gratefully sunk into his embrace, finally feeling at peace for the first time all day.

'Promise me something.’ Elizabeth spoke up, her voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

‘Anything.'

'From now on,’ she pulled back to look him in the face. ‘We make big decisions like this together. We’re gonna be facing a lot of tough things as duke and duchess and we gotta have each other’s backs. Because if we don’t, who will?’

‘Promise.'

‘I guess we should go talk to Liam now huh?’

‘I guess we should,’ Drake replied, lacing his fingers through hers, preparing to lead them back to the villa before Elizabeth tugged him back to her.

‘Actually wait, I just thought of something.’

-

'Liam I am going to be frank with you,’ Elizabeth towered over where he was sitting on the couch, a menacing look on her face. 'What you asked of us today was a huge overstep of personal boundaries. You may be king but you have no right whatsoever to be so presumptuous especially with such a life changing decision.'

'I am sorry Elizabeth truly I-'

‘Do not interrupt me Your Highness.’ Elizabeth’s tone seared through the room as she fixed him with a fierce stare. ‘You had crossed the line and frankly it is only your best friend’s negotiation skills that saved your ass here.’

She paused, watching his blue eyes widen slightly at her use of the word before she made her demand.

‘Five years.’

Liam’s brow furrowed in confusion. ‘I-'

'I’m giving you five years to find a wife and put a baby in her. Drake and I, we care for this country and we care for you but we have to prioritise our own family first. So in the interest of compromise, we’re giving you until our child is five years old to marry and produce an heir of your own. In that time, Drake and I are fine with our kid being the centre of all the media attention and political nonsense as long as you understand that this arrangement...’

Elizabeth paused to gesture between them. ‘Is temporary. When your wife is pregnant, we will withdraw our child as heir and yours may take its rightful place. Those are my terms.’

Liam rubbed his jaw, eyes flitting from Elizabeth’s determined eyes to the floor as he thought it over for a moment before turning back to her.

‘I accept your terms.’