#intergalacticbadwolf

[theaccursedninth]

🕯️

(inner thoughts meme from Rose and from the Doctor as well (any or all incarnations)).

Send 🕯️ + a name, and my muse will share their true, unfiltered opinion of that person! No sugarcoating!

Rose Tyler...her very name shook the Universe itself.

'That was you, Malekith. You destroyed it.'

Yes...and he would carry that burden to his grave, should ever such a day arrive. Sometimes he wondered. Would there come a day Death finally caught up with him? Or was this, spoke a voice, his own voice, small and fleeting amidst the glaring Northern accent. Was this a work of the Big Bad Wolf?

He remembered The Last Day so clearly. Backed into a corner, facing down a monster who called itself a god (sound familiar?) and then a blinding rush of light and warmth...he'd never seen anything more beautiful. More powerful. All of creation, all of existence in the hands of a nineteen year old girl who risked everything to save her Doctor.

Was it worth it, Rose Tyler? Can you look upon my face and say you made the right choice?

The thought coils around his chest, squeezing so hard it nearly knocks the wind from him. She shouldn't forgive him. Not after everything he's done. He knows that and yet...when he looks into her eyes, sees her standing there just as she did that Last Day...he wants to run to her. To cling to her. To collapse in her arms and bury his guilt grief in the comfort of this powerful, beautiful woman. Would she hold me if I asked? Does she see the Doctor in me, still?

Did he want her to?

He thought he knew what it meant to be a monster, once. Nine hundred years old and so desperate to exterminate a Greater Threat he gambled the price on Life itself; the dice landed with unfavorable odds. He thought himself beyond hope, then--beyond salvation and certainly beyond love.

'You were a damned fool.'

Yes. He was.

[theaccursedninth]

Rose Tyler...after all this time. She was as beautiful as he remembered--and he remembered her well. Before the Darkness completely took him over, before he fell into a black, empty void whenever he closed his eyes...he used to dream of her. He used to dream of then. Of running rampant across the universe, armed only with sonic technology and a rickety blue box (damned, cursed thing.) He hadn't had an army then. Only a companion. Only...

Malekith pushed the thought aside, but it didn't quell the ache in his chest. Those days were ancient history. She should have been as well. Yet here she was, taking a stand despite the chaos around them. Some things never change.

'Yeah, just you.'

The Dark Elf let the old voice be, but the sting lingered on as he watched Rose work around her tears, make use of that bold, midgardian courage he used to balk at in the form of delicate questions. Had the sacrifice been worth it, she wanted to know: her perception had not changed, either.

Had he been speaking to anyone else, sharp dismissal and a cold look would have served as an answer. He owed nothing to this Universe, to a Time that saw fit to tear him down and rebuild him into a walking nightmare. Could she see the ghost of the Doctor looking back at her, he wondered, while his hearts pumped hard and loud behind his ears.

'D'you want her to?'

At long last, Malekith sighed, and the hardened mask always so prevalent on his face ebbed away.

"No," he said quietly, finally. "There were losses I never recovered from."

“the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. “ for Rose -theaccursedninth

(@theaccursedninth sent a meme! - always accepting!)

"Yeah… C'n see tha'," the blonde utters, sniffing softly as her eyes brim themselves with unshed tears. It's a hairpin response. She gulps, intimidation taking over for courage and making it entirely impossible to muster up enough facility to say more. At least not at first... She'll get there eventually.

There's a deeply rooted trust there, beckoning just beyond the slight look of disquiet on her face but even still, she keeps her distance. She takes a shaking breath through parted lips and manages to pluck up the courage to speak aloud again.

"Were they worth it, then?" Her voice squeaks with the question, but she can't help it- he's unlike anything she's seen before. It aches in her chest and her breath hitches. Even still the tears do not fall, just wobble inside of her eyelids and make everything blurry. At least that makes it easier to speak.

"The sacrifices... Were they worth it?" Her tone inflects at the end, almost as if she might be trying to convince them both that the sacrifices were worth it, and damn what she already feels on the matter.

[theaccursedninth]

✿ (Rose)

SEND “ ✿ ” FOR 2 HEADCANONS FOR OUR MUSES’ RELATIONSHIP.

Malekith is so very ashamed of the monster Rose Tyler found in place of her Doctor. While there is much about his former life he's either compartmentalized away or simply forgotten, he remembers their final day together with crystal clarity. She risked her life in such an unimaginable way, just to save his: the Oncoming Storm, the man who keeps running...the lone survivor of a race he wiped out. She wanted him safe, protected and preserved...was it worth, he has to wonder now. Would she have saved him if she knew what he'd become (did she know what he'd become, when she looked into the TARDIS' heart?)

So long story short, this entire blog stemmed from an edit I made all the way back in 2013, with a poem that went like this: In my dreams, I see her A fleeting face A memory But when I wake, I am alone And the war continues on I like to believe that while Malekith was in suspended animation for a thousand years, he dreamt he was the Doctor again, traveling across the stars instead of drifting along with the remainder of his army, awaiting revenge. I have to believe those dreams, while perhaps a little jarring at times, were also extremely vivid at others: reliving his adventures with Rose (and Jack) and maybe subconsciously creating a different ending to that Fateful Day. With her, in that dreamscape, he's happy again. He's living again. Maybe he laughs again as well. Underneath everything, the wars he's fought and the lives he's taken, the worlds he's ruled with an unyielding hand...Malekith wants to be the Doctor again. Imagine waking up after all this time and remembering what your truth actually looks like.

[theaccursedninth]

His name sounds strange and surreal on her tongue--two worlds colliding in a way that hasn't yet found how to fit together--but it's hardly an afterthought. Her voice wobbles and stumbles as she takes him through her own journey, filling in the gaps that kept gnawing at his aching chest. Another Universe. The Void.

'That's how she remembers you.'

It must be; free from the changes he'd inflicted as Time rewrote itself around his grief. Malekith leans in when her forehead meets his and the ancient gesture both eases and twists his hearts into knots. Then Rose falters, trailing off in a way that speaks more than her silence, and the Dark Elf realizes it isn't just he who's suffered in their time apart.

His eyes lift to meet hers again, so strikingly beautiful up close, though they always are. Even amidst her tears. He lets go of her hands then, carefully, gently, taking her chin the way she had only moments ago.

"I am sorry," he murmurs, and his voice, too, still trembles. How she became trapped, how she found the means to search for him (how long it had been since she'd last seen her Doctor) he didn't know--there will be time for that later. Right now, they're together again. That's all that matters. A shaky, quiet breath passes between his lips. Then, he seals the distance between them in a tender, tentative kiss.

“the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. “ for Rose -theaccursedninth

(@theaccursedninth sent a meme! - always accepting!)

"Yeah… C'n see tha'," the blonde utters, sniffing softly as her eyes brim themselves with unshed tears. It's a hairpin response. She gulps, intimidation taking over for courage and making it entirely impossible to muster up enough facility to say more. At least not at first... She'll get there eventually.

There's a deeply rooted trust there, beckoning just beyond the slight look of disquiet on her face but even still, she keeps her distance. She takes a shaking breath through parted lips and manages to pluck up the courage to speak aloud again.

"Were they worth it, then?" Her voice squeaks with the question, but she can't help it- he's unlike anything she's seen before. It aches in her chest and her breath hitches. Even still the tears do not fall, just wobble inside of her eyelids and make everything blurry. At least that makes it easier to speak.

"The sacrifices... Were they worth it?" Her tone inflects at the end, almost as if she might be trying to convince them both that the sacrifices were worth it, and damn what she already feels on the matter.

[theaccursedninth]

A noise halfway between a laugh and a sob lodged in his throat; it sounded more like choking in his ears. Despite this, a fleeting smile tugged at his mouth, and his eyes, still impossibly wide, shone through the tears. Rose Tyler...she hadn't changed a bit.

He raises his arms without realizing it, closing his hands over hers, holding the warmth to his face, afraid if he let go, (if she lets go) the moment would end, and he'd wake up alone again. He'd be alone, again.

'She's here, she's real. 'You're not dreaming, Malekith.'

This time, his breath hitched in his throat; lips parted as his mind fought for the right words. What could he say after all this time apart? Hel, what did she even remember? How long had it been since Rose Tyler had seen her Doctor? (What must she think, looking at him now?)

"I..." he croaked; his gaze faltered and he trailed off. I'm not the same, he thought, but the words died before they reached his tongue. He wasn't the Doctor anymore, either. Would she stand here, still, if she knew what he'd done? Heard how he'd stained the Universe in darkness and blood until not even his own people remained? Malekith raised his head, searching her tear-stained face again. No fear lingered in her eyes, now. No hesitation. No uncertainty.

'She still sees you, underneath. That's more than you expected.'

He hadn't expected her to remember him at all.

"Rose..." he said her name again, shakier but louder than before. A sharp intake of breath followed; he squeezed her hands.

"The worlds knows me by another name, now. I am called Malekith and I..." warped it, destroyed it, severed populations by nearly a third because Time stripped from him all but rage and grief and mind-numbing loneliness--

The Accursed hung his head. "...I have changed," he finished quietly.

“the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. “ for Rose -theaccursedninth

(@theaccursedninth sent a meme! - always accepting!)

"Yeah… C'n see tha'," the blonde utters, sniffing softly as her eyes brim themselves with unshed tears. It's a hairpin response. She gulps, intimidation taking over for courage and making it entirely impossible to muster up enough facility to say more. At least not at first... She'll get there eventually.

There's a deeply rooted trust there, beckoning just beyond the slight look of disquiet on her face but even still, she keeps her distance. She takes a shaking breath through parted lips and manages to pluck up the courage to speak aloud again.

"Were they worth it, then?" Her voice squeaks with the question, but she can't help it- he's unlike anything she's seen before. It aches in her chest and her breath hitches. Even still the tears do not fall, just wobble inside of her eyelids and make everything blurry. At least that makes it easier to speak.

"The sacrifices... Were they worth it?" Her tone inflects at the end, almost as if she might be trying to convince them both that the sacrifices were worth it, and damn what she already feels on the matter.

[theaccursedninth]

Doctor. She called him Doctor. She can see me. She remembers me. The ache in his chest swelled, and his eyes grew impossibly wide. All this time, century after century spurned by the notion that in this war-torn universe he'd shaped, that mad man and his wretched blue box never traveled across the stars, never crashed into a shop girl in Midgard's twentieth century...never gave his life for the woman he loved, only to have it all ripped away. She shouldn't know him, not here, not in this Lifetime...but she did.

Malekith drew in a shaky breath--a crisp, delicate thing--taking in the sight before him. The tears running down her cheeks, that hesitant step forward, the fear holding her in place. Rose Tyler saw him, yes...but she saw, too, the monster he'd become. That much was clear. Would she run from him, he wondered--desperately, painfully--would this frightening truth chase her away?

Then she spoke again, and his composure crumbled: "There's still me."

"Rose..." Malekith croaked, stumbling over another punctured breath. His eyes, still wide, began to swim and mist over. I missed you. I tried to wait for you.

'Go to her, Malekith.'

The Dark Elf took a mechanical step forward. Then another. Then a third, before the weight of it all grew too much to bear. He crashed to his knees, in awe, in shock, staring up at her while silent tears began to fall.

Rose Tyler...I never thought I'd see you again.

“the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. “ for Rose -theaccursedninth

(@theaccursedninth sent a meme! - always accepting!)

"Yeah… C'n see tha'," the blonde utters, sniffing softly as her eyes brim themselves with unshed tears. It's a hairpin response. She gulps, intimidation taking over for courage and making it entirely impossible to muster up enough facility to say more. At least not at first... She'll get there eventually.

There's a deeply rooted trust there, beckoning just beyond the slight look of disquiet on her face but even still, she keeps her distance. She takes a shaking breath through parted lips and manages to pluck up the courage to speak aloud again.

"Were they worth it, then?" Her voice squeaks with the question, but she can't help it- he's unlike anything she's seen before. It aches in her chest and her breath hitches. Even still the tears do not fall, just wobble inside of her eyelids and make everything blurry. At least that makes it easier to speak.

"The sacrifices... Were they worth it?" Her tone inflects at the end, almost as if she might be trying to convince them both that the sacrifices were worth it, and damn what she already feels on the matter.