#interestingly (not related to the post in question) I started binge watching a new show recently and while there are some quibbles I am

[logicheartsoul]

This day, this week has been entirely too long and it’s only half way through it and it’s going to just keep getting longer. I keep vacillating between being tired and then angry and then tired again and I am not having it

Cut for lengthy warning and details

So long story short, my dad gave my mom Covid and I live with them. The thing is, he was irresponsible about it all — not masking, not bothering to use an in home test when there was signs to make sure it wasn’t it, not trying to rest and get better, instead going about all the spaces in our house maskless and getting into personal spaces, like my mom’s, and getting her sick.

And it pisses me off so for so many reasons, but my mom’s health got a bit bad for about a year and a half now and while it’s manageable, something like this can possibly make things worse for her, we won’t know how badly until she gets through it.

And all these lectures about responsibility to family and other bullshit and yet he couldn’t even manage to put a little consideration to do something that wasn’t TOO HARD TO DO, to make sure he doesn’t make her life harder. Like. What the fuck.

And then I get fucking rage and almost red eyes because this is not the first time him not masking got him Covid — it happened back in 2020 when he and my mom were on the other side of the world to visit family (and specifically my grandma who died a month ish before the lockdown) and while everyone and their mother was smart enough to try to mask, he didn’t. He wasn’t entirely diligent about it at the time and probably has given me trauma about dealing with this being stuck on the other side of the world. The seriousness at the time was the only thing that made him be very diligent about masking when he got back. Now he’s like those others who “don’t think it’s too bad” if you get it and “respects others who want to mask but not me unless it’s mandated in an area I’m going into (like this doctor’s office)”.

And even, even having been chastised by the medical staff at the doctor’s appointment I had today (I go to the same GP as my folks, this was my first day), he still doesn’t bother to mask and walks around with no care. I mask, my mom masks, as we await my test results (coz I asked to get it done too, even though that wasn’t what my appointment is about) and what, does he NOT care about giving it to his child??? Like. Do I need to have a positive result to make him realize something? No amount of screaming it at him from me or my mom made him change his perspective and think “gee, I shouldn’t want to get my family sick”.

I’m just tired, so tired.

The test was the last thing before my appointment ended so they said they’d call if there was any news. The nurse said that if I don’t hear anything that’s a good thing, no news is good news. But taking advice from a friend and taking a home test in a couple of days to see if that’s still true.

It’s like this could’ve been prevented. The symptoms he presented weren’t entirely bad yet but he could’ve taken a home test, he could’ve isolated himself until he was sure, he could’ve actually not moved around much and get into everyone’s personal space (I tried avoiding him when he thought it was the flu coz I don’t want that either rn???) or masked indoors for a bit.

Just want this to be over with already.