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7-deadly-cats · 3 days ago
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killing me softly (part one)
part two (soon)
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pairing: rafe cameron x fem!introverted!kook!reader
cw: swearing, very indirect subtle mention of sexual themes (no actual scenes), mention of drug usage (no actual scene)
synopsys: it's the last year of high school and y/n is paired up with rafe cameron for a 2 week project in art class. this wouldn't be a problem if y/n wasn't awkward as hell and well ... if there wasn't her big fat crush on him.
word count: 2.1k+
a/n: i haven't written this kind of stuff since like 8th grade (i recently graduated from university sooo yeah) but i kinda felt like it now and idk. there are so many smut involved fics on here (which isn't bad, i just need more softer slow burn stuff). not saying there won't be any smut in future parts hihihihi. also i have no clue how the american school system works (i'm from europe) so pls just accept this lol. and kelce's last name is statter bc apparently it was never mentioned in the show. anyway, this is for all my introverted and overthinking girlies (who may or may not be little freaks) <3
*****
Fuck my life.
That was the only thing on your mind as Mr. Smith announced the partners for the upcoming two-week art project. In pairs, you were supposed to create a reinterpretation of the Greek gods.
The assignment wasn’t the problem. In fact, it actually sounded kind of fun. But your partner? Yeah, that was the real issue.
Fucking Rafe Cameron.
Of all the people in this class, it had to be him. You didn’t even know why he'd chosen this class. Rafe was probably the last guy you’d expect to take an art elective—well, right after Kelce Statter.
He'd probably thought it was an easy class to boost his GPA. Rookie mistake.
Okay, whatever, it was just a small project. You could handle this.
NO, YOU COULDN’T, HOLY SHIT.
The thought of working with Rafe Cameron made your skin crawl. In all your years at Kildare Academy, you'd maybe exchanged two words with him—and that was only because he'd mistaken you for another girl.
"Y/N, right?" Rafe appeared at your desk at the end of class, a bored expression on his face.
Okay, okay, just act normal. Be nice. You nodded. "Yeah."
Rafe stared at you for a moment, like he was waiting for you to say more. His eyebrows furrowed slightly before he tilted his head. "Cool, okay. Let’s just meet up during lunch break and get this over with."
Did he seriously think you could finish a two-week project in one lunch break?
When he saw the look on your face, he raised his brows in amusement, his tone teasing. "What? You too busy?"
Your cheeks heated up as you shook your head. "No, lunch sounds good."
"Okay, then let’s meet after the fifth period." Before you could ask where you should meet him, he turned around and disappeared out of the classroom.
You frowned. This was off to a great start.
Just two weeks, you reminded yourself as you slung your bag over your shoulder and headed to math class.
On the way, you unlocked your phone to text your bestie Cara:
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You shoved your phone away and tried to ignore the uneasiness creeping into your stomach.
You didn’t usually have trouble talking to guys but Rafe Cameron was a whole different story. Not because he was "too cool" or some dumb shit like that.
No, Rafe was just... intimidating. Not in that bad-boy, cringe Wattpad kind of way. It was something else, something you couldn’t quite put into words.
He wasn’t arrogant—he was proud. He was loud, but not in the annoying way Kelce Statton was. He wasn’t rude—he just said whatever the hell was on his mind.
He was just ... himself. And yet, somehow he wasn't. It felt like there was a lot more going on beneath the surface.
Maybe that was what made him so interesting to you. Sure, he had a nice face and a well-known name, no doubt about that. But more than anything, you wanted to know why he was the way he was.
Was he just a blunt person who didn’t give a fuck, or was there more to him than his looks and his last name?
So yeah, maybe a part of you was curious about him. But he had such an overwhelming presence, you wouldn’t even know where to start.
In the past, he'd had a few friends-with-benefits situations, but none of them had lasted long. And that was definitely a path you didn't want to go down. Under different circumstances, maybe you could but you've never even held hands with a guy, let alone kissed one or—yeah, no, not going there.
Okay, chill. Internally, you cursed Cara for fueling your delusions.
You had more important problems at right now anyway. Like math class with Mrs. Richman. And no one could claim you were a star student in that subject.
----
The lesson dragged on, your thoughts constantly drifting. After class, you were supposed to meet Rafe.
Rafe, who had PE right now.
Shit. You tried not to think about a sweaty, heavy-breathing, and—NOPE, NOT NOW.
"Okay, that’s it for today. Don’t forget about the math test next week. But for now, go enjoy the nice weather," Mrs. Richman announced, dismissing the class.
Your hands felt clammy as you got up to leave. What the fuck is wrong with me?
You headed to the restroom and washed your hands. Why were you so nervous about spending one lunch break with Rafe Cameron? Fuck you, social anxiety.
"Everything okay?" A soft voice pulled you from your thoughts. "You look kinda pale."
You turned to see the pretty face of Molly Crane. Red hair, cute freckles, and a super charming smile. She was one of the few Kooks (if any existed at all) who was genuinely nice.
You forced a smile. "Yeah, yeah, all good. I think I just ate something bad for breakfast."
Molly didn't look convinced. "You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."
"Really, thanks, Molly. I’m fine now." With an awkward smile, you excused yourself and headed out—only to realize that, well… great, you and Rafe had never picked a meeting spot.
Brrrt.
Your phone had been buzzing since math class. Of course, it had been Cara.
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You rolled your eyes with a smile and texted back.
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Should you really wait in front of the gym? That felt weird af. But at the same time, you didn’t want to miss him and end up having an awkward conversation about it in the next art class.
The dining hall would've been the most obvious meeting place, but would Rafe actually look for you there?
You pressed your lips together. Fuck it.
Heart pounding, you headed toward the gym.
Good thing your body totally knew how to distinguish between social interaction and actual danger.
When you arrived, you heard muffled voices of the boys inside, along with Coach Brown’s instructions.
Just breathe, it’s just one lunch break, you told yourself. Then again, this was probably how the next two weeks were going to feel.
You held your breath as the gym doors swung open, and a crowd of sweaty—oops wrong, freshly showered—boys streamed out.
You awkwardly stepped to the side, ignoring the curious glances thrown your way.
No sign of Rafe yet. A sick feeling settled in your stomach. Even worse than being here and having to explain HOW you knew that he would be here, would be explaining why you were standing there if he didn’t actually have PE right now.
But then relief washed over you when you spotted Kelce Statter and Topper Thornton. And right behind them—Rafe Cameron.
You tightened your grip on your bag. Okay, okay, I can do this. They’ll probably say bye to Rafe and leave for lunch now.
They didn’t. Great.
When Rafe saw you, something flickered in his gaze that you didn’t want to analyze. You expected him to just walk past you but instead, he headed straight toward you—with Kelce and Topper right behind him.
Just smile. No, not like that, you probably look like a creep. Oh god, okay.
"Hey," Rafe greeted you with a slightly puzzled smile as the three of them stopped in front of you. "I didn't expect you here."
In other words: Did you stalk me or how did you know I was here?
Kelce and Topper eyed you with amusement. This is so unbelievably embarrassing.
Blushing, you pointed at the gym bag slung over his shoulder. "Well, I saw you bringing a sports bag today, and PE is usually scheduled right before lunch ... so I just assumed you’d be here."
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kelce stifling a laugh. You wanted to disappear from Earth, no from this universe. No way anyone would believe--
"Right," Rafe replied with a lopsided grin. "I would’ve just waited in the dining hall."
So you had been right. And you could've saved yourself this painfully awkward moment. G-r-e-a-t.
"Good thinking though. The faster we get this project over with, the better."
Shit, did Rafe just compliment you? Then again, why did the last sentence sound like he didn't want to work with you?
You smiled awkwardly. "Exactly."
"You're Y/N Y/L/N, right? Your mom owns Y/L/N Yacht Sales." Topper’s voice cut in, and you were grateful for the topic change.
You nodded. "Yeah."
Was that admiration on Topper’s face?
"Ohh, a business Mommy, I like that", Kelce said, and both Topper and Rafe eyed him with shaking heads.
Topper blinked at him annoyed. "Bro, shut the fuck up for once."
Kelce just laughed.
"My dad bought a Grady-White from you guys recently," Rafe remarked, and your gaze flicked back to his blue eyes.
Jesus, he wasn’t just looking at you—he was staring into your soul. If he was always looking at girls like that you'd gladly be his friends-with-benefits-girl.
You prayed to whatever gods were listening that you didn’t blush. "I remember. A 456 Canyon."
The corner of Rafe’s mouth twitched up. "Yeah, a pretty model."
Your cheeks warmed, and either he didn’t notice, or he chose not to comment on it.
"Oh shit, that sounds like a boat party," Kelce chimed in with a grin and looked at you. "If I were you, I’d have thrown a dozen parties by now. So many possibilities…"
Rafe scoffed amused. "Good thing she isn’t, or her family would be broke by now."
You allowed yourself a small smirk.
„Hey, I’m just saying.“ Kelce raised his hands innocently.
Topper tapped him on the chest with the back of his hand. „Okay, dude, and I’m saying we’re leaving now before you say more stupid shit.“ Then he looked at you apologetically and turned his gaze to Rafe. „See you later.“
Rafe just gave him a short nod, his expression hard to read, before turning back to you with a tired smile as Kelce and Topper disappeared behind the gym. „So, you hungry?“
Why did this situation suddenly feel so… intimate? It wasn’t. Definitely not. There was absolutely no reason to feel weird about this. And yet—standing here alone with Rafe Cameron was… a lot. Maybe it was the way he looked at you—calm, focused, as if he was actually paying attention.
Or maybe it was the damn wet strands of hair falling into his forehead after his shower.
Get a grip.
You nodded quickly, trying not to overthink it. „The cafeteria has quinoa veggie bowls today. Or fries, if you’re not into influencer food.“
Oh God. Was that your attempt at being funny? Tragic.
Rafe’s lips twitched with amusement. „So, you’re assuming I don’t like quinoa bowls?“
Oh. Oh no.
Heat immediately rushed to your face, and you could feel your cheeks burning. Why the hell did you say that?
„No—I mean…“ You let out a nervous laugh, which sounded more like a weird cough. „Not that you wouldn’t like it, but you’re just more like—uh, not that I’m putting you in a box or anything, but you don’t seem like someone who… uh…“
Rafe raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. „Someone who eats quinoa?“
You sighed. „Forget it. I’m just talking nonsense.“
„No, no, now I’m curious.“ His voice was amused, almost teasing. „How exactly do I seem?“
You swallowed. Shit.
„Uh…“ Your eyes flickered over him for a second—his broad shoulders, the damp strands of hair falling into his forehead, the fresh polo shirt fitting way too well against his body—oh God, wrong direction.
„I just meant…“ Maybe you should just stop talking and dig your own grave. You sighed and smiled awkwardly. „Okay, look, I'm sorry if you’re actually a secret quinoa veggie bowl advocate. I didn’t mean to sound condescending.“
Rafe laughed. Not in a mocking way—no, it was real, warm, which somehow made it worse because it only made you more nervous.
„No, no, I get it,“ he said, shrugging with an amused smile. „I guess I need to work out more if I’m giving off ‘fries guy’ vibes.“
Your eyes widened, and you quickly shook your head. „That’s not what—“
„Relax, I know what you meant.“ He cut you off, tilting his head toward the dining hall. „Come on, you can keep judging me in there.“
I am the most embarrassing person alive, you thought, face still burning.
Still, you fell into step beside him, gripping the strap of your bag a little tighter. Brain, could you please shut the hell up? Thanks.
It didn’t.
Because why did Rafe’s presence feel so overwhelming—in the best way possible? And why did his ridiculously good aftershave still linger in the air between you, like some kind of cruel distraction?
And most importantly—how the hell were you supposed to survive two whole weeks of this?
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hephaestuscrew · 1 year ago
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Sometimes I think about Dominik Koudelka's assistant who takes Minkowski's call in Ep43 Persuasion...
In the moment, dismissing the voice on the other end of the phone feels like the right thing to do. She can't just put any random person who calls through to Mr. Koudelka immediately; if she did, there would be no point in him having an assistant at all. And when that random caller is claiming to be Mr. Koudelka's dead wife, of course it would be wrong to subject him to that. (Cont. below cut)
She's seen Mr. Koudelka in the denial stage of grief, if only from a professional distance. She knows that the only time he took off after he heard the news was the day of his wife's funeral. She knows he started working days so long it was a wonder he got any sleep at all. She's heard rumours that he tried to insist that The Times' coverage of the shuttle crash ought to use the word 'allegedly' more. Apparently he ignored every sensitively-worded inquiry about whether he wanted to have any input on his wife's obituary.
Mr. Koudelka certainly doesn't need some cruel joke reopening emotional wounds. It's better not to mention it to him. His assistant knows that she did the right thing. 
Or at least, she thinks she did. But she still can't stop thinking about that voice on the other end of phone, its desperation, its sense of urgency, its bizarre impossible claim.
So maybe she finds herself looking up Renée Minkowski, just to set her mind at ease. And there's surprisingly little information out there, but she eventually finds a clip of an interview from just before the launch of the Hephaestus mission. And that's when her stomach drops. She recognises the voice in the video. It's the same voice as the one she heard on the end of the phone. She's sure it's the same voice.
And what is she supposed to do then? Go to her boss and tell him that his wife is alive? Tell him that she lost him potentially his one chance to talk to his presumed dead wife? Admit that she didn't tell him about that call straight away? She's got no proof, just her memory. What if she's wrong about it being the same voice? Maybe it was a good impersonator, or a technological trick, or the power of suggestion. Is telling him the truth worth risking her job for? Is it worth risking giving false hope to a widower who has only just begun to move on? What if he doesn't believe her? What if he does?
#Wolf 359#w359#Dominik Koudelka#Renée Minkowski#Renee Minkowski#Personally I imagine that Koudelka's assistant didn't ever tell him about that call#because how can you tell someone something like that?#but if she did#there is some very interesting potential in terms of how he might react to that#which I'm sure other people have explored probably#In terms of thinking about Koudelka not taking time off#after hearing that his wife was dead#Minkowski is the kind of person who works super hard to avoid her feelings#so I think Koudelka would be similar#Thinking about when Gabriel Urbina said that before she left. Minkowski made Koudelka promise#that he would only worry about her for 10 minutes a day#and that he would be busy doing stuff the rest of the time#What can he do with that promise once he thinks she's dead?#I'm wildly inconsistent with how much I care about Minkowski and Koudelka's marriage#When I think about it in relation to the Hephaestus crew found family and their return to Earth#I'm like 'get in line Dominik. Renée's got new priorities now.#Deal with it or go away.'#But when I think about how Dominik Koudelka is someone who loved (and was loved by) Renée Minkowski#and didn't want her to go to space for two years but let her go#because it was her dream and anyway he couldn't stop her if he tried#and then he thought she'd died out there#and Minkowski tried to speak to him from 8 lightyears away but her words never reached him...#then I'm like 'oh actually I can care about this unvoiced character'#wolf 359 spoilers#w359 spoilers
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pepperpixel · 1 year ago
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WHERES UR HEAD AT- AT- AT- AT?
WHERES UR HEAD AT?
WHERES UR HEAD AT?
FiNALLY MORE ART… Srry I’ve been gone for a while!!!!!! I… have just.. been super busy. And I’m still busy lol. I got a lot goin on!!!! But… But…!!! I managed to finish some art today!!! Thank god lol- so yeah! Behold this funky nurse creature..! she will be committing medical malpractice on u..!!! And that is a promise!! Or ur money back guaranteed!
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karanseraph · 2 days ago
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I'm not super educated in economics, so fact check me, but even at my level of education, I'm pretty sure government and business are NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO function the same economically.
For example in business (and there are some differences for publicly traded entities with shareholders) the general idea is to get out profit. One wants to operate the business for payments, subtract costs and expenses and get a profit out to use for other stuff. If there are employees who aren't themselves operating as a co-op or invested in the company, then they need adequate wages to go spend outside for personal needs
Government doesn't need profit. The government money is public monies belonging collectively to We The People, right? It shouldn't try to be a success, or profit. Those funds kinda exist to keep paying out toward the collective good for social safety nets or shared infrastructure or community services.
Also if systems like public transit or postal services or public school operate at a deficit or don't make profit, that's fine. That's part of the common good services we're collectively paying for with taxes. We buy those services because they help us all function together. We pay that cost for the good.
But in a business, they usually look to at least break even if not profit.
It's not helpful to take a businesss view and mindset to operate government. It just works differently. They'll say something is inefficient (and sometimes it objectively may be) even when really they mean doesn't fit a profitable pattern. Or, they'll complain that a postal serice or transit is too costly and unprofitable so we shouldn't have it. Or, they'll say "But who pays for this?" And " I don't want MY taxes to pay for that!"
But that's just not how taxes function. There are common good or even sometimes foreign aid programs (that foreign aid can even be in our self interest to have allies or less refugee migrations or better health globally) and the taxes get collected and go into the public/common/collective funds and goes out the figurative door to spend on our common interests.
And there's fidly bits like budgeting in advance or maybe war bonds during a war or stuff I'm not educated about. The order of appropriations? But, basically, it ceases being one person's money/taxes and becomes public funds.
And it doesn't operate like a business.
And there's not supposed to be like one guy deciding how and when to spend The People's money, because we don't have kings and we have representatives.
Btw, privatization is stealing from *you.* You are the public in "publicly owned." Oligarchs are coming in to take the things we all share ownership of as Americans, like Medicare, Social Security, National Parks, PBS and scrapping them for parts they find profitable.
The right is planning to rob us and quite literally want us to thank them for the privilege by calling it "government efficiency."
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articskele · 8 months ago
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“...Wrong? Why would anything go wrong?”
Without further ado, a stimboard for @ask-the-biggering-onceler!
x|x|x x|x|x x|x|x
#TADAAAA :D#ohh there's SO much going on here#the first one is interesting bc i tried to avoid gifs of the outside#but this one strikes me as a moment from before the blog started#a brief moment of introspection and dwelling on the past as he looks out at the dwindling remains of the forest#though to him i’m sure any second thought about what could’ve been is a second wasted and he snaps himself out of it shortly after#THE BEAR THE TEDDY BEAR#it's a foreboding reference to the barbaloots it's a representation of the past it's everything to me :D#the spotlight for being the center of attention and scrutiny alike; loud and flashy juxtaposed with the softer candles on the other side#the gears are for the factory but note how clean it looks#showing his desperate attempts to keep his reputation intact and insist that absolutely nobody has died within the walls of this place#the velvety red fabric resembles both theater curtains (performance and the blog) and the curtains in his office#and they’re positioned opposite to the one glimpse we see of the outside world calling back to that one scene in the 1972 version#a camera for both his surveillance over thneedville and the press plus a reference to that old photo of him before his business days#the entire middle column is a brief glimpse into all the good intent that got soured along the way#while the right column represents his success and splendor#alternatively the bear and the camera could reference that one scene in hbcib with pipsqueak!#and that last one is for the extravagance of the ball!#you could say it being next to the camera means he’ll be keeping a close eye on partygoers >:3#i actually steered clear of stuff like sewing and other such manual work to show how he stands at the very top#arghh i could go on about every little part of the layout and how the different themes connect and oppose each other it's so fun!!!!! :D#anyways i hope ya like it ouo!!!#biggerler#ask the biggering onceler#stimboard#my nonsense
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demortuis · 3 months ago
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looks at my hands. dorian being protective and tactile when it comes to the right people romantic or platonic wait listen i promise
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daddy-long-legssss · 26 days ago
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had my personal assessment for work and it went well but i still felt like i could burst into tears at any given moment.
#my manager is like ‘oh you could be a strategist in the next year if you want’ and I’m like ‘i don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow’#she’s really nice but I feel like I can’t be *chill* around her#she’ll joke around and stuff but I can tell she’s about work and stuff at the end of the day#and figuring out fucking GOALS#stupid fucking goals that is extra work outside of your already heavy workload#I hate the corporate world and the culture#I appreciate the benefits I get through work. that’s the only incentive to stay at this company and in this line of work#I just don’t care!!! I don’t care about how evolved my role!#why can’t i grow and evolve outside of work#how can i find value in myself outside of work#when we’re so conditioned to equate our jobs to our worth#i feel like I need more hobbies and interests outside of work to cultivate that#but work keeps you so busy! there isn’t time!#i don’t have time to get my work done in the way because of all the meetings! so I have to do some work on the weekends!?! bullshit!!!#i have to spend time prepping lunch and dinner so I have more time to work!??#i hate it here!!!#i think about lockdown during Covid which was scary but note having *any* responsibility#being able to wake up and think ‘what do i want to do today’ and i could make bread#or just read. or sit and not feel this impending doom because I’m not being productive#I feel like I had way better work life balance before I changed roles cause I had way less responsibility#but no. I took a new opportunity in the hopes of growing and evolving and now i barely have enough time to do my job during working hours#I’m sorry this is a horrible work rant. I’m grateful for employement but I don’t like it lol
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extended ver. but i feel like it sounds not cringy only to me so u can ignore it (the sick flock tho!)
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devilsskettle · 10 months ago
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i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill
#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc#and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’#it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time#it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed#so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand#so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward#but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away#how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc#but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots#because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free#anyway.#even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it#1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever#don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’#don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations#don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time#it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for#idk. idk. it’s entitlement though#sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know#but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol#anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions#also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc#like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly#‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that#i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing#the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit#but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing#maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.
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failedsoldier · 1 month ago
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hello i hope you all have been kind to yourselves 💖
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punkcherries · 2 months ago
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everyone whittled me down and i watched arcane. it was alright
#cherryz txt#i like the art direction more than anything but thats just cus im a freak about that shit u know#if its candy to my eyedbarls i forgive many a sin#idk if it had many problems at all tho it was pretty tight story telling#im not too good at picking apart themes and stuff in media my brain small but i enjoyed the like#throughpoint narratively of letting go or refusing thereof if that makes any damn sense#congrats on the lesbian sex also. & i guess the doomed yaoi#which is so funny to me bcus jayce immediately pegged me as a straightboy . is that just me#like . maybe hes bi but hed defs be in the phase of like .refusing to acknowledge it u know#too busy distracting himself wiht beautiful women to even begin processing his situationship w viktor#idk i think its funny how i was told THERES YAOI!! and yuri! and the focus of the show is the yuri not the yaoi#like ..... its so funny ppl refuse to focus on the women even tho theyre actually so well devolped and more interesting than the men#which is not to say the men are badly written far from it theyre just arguably not the Primary Focus#tho admittedly the primary focus isnt even character based its the overarching story#the characters and their developments basically persist to strengthen the story i feel#which is again not a bad thing in fact its quite lovely. again very tight story telling.#im going on a tangent LOL it was alright in my book! very technically impressive and well thought out#props to all the artists and writers and people working on it#i think it just hasnt gripped me as strongly as it has others and thats entirely a personal thing u know#some things just click and others dont. so it goes!#i am however in jinx's corner now and forever . fuck league of legends tho never touching that shit with a ten foot pole#if u read all these hiiiiiiii ^_^ hi haiii hehee
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indigodawns · 1 year ago
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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aiieera · 1 year ago
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everyday i face the question as to whether or not i should make my own inumaki smau
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cerealforkart · 2 years ago
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I just caught up on One Piece and I’m ready to make my report! My verdict is… it’s actually really good gang. 1000+ chapters of weird found family vs. the government in a pirate setting with some really cool and intriguing world building and an incredibly charming cast of characters, literally could not be more up my alley if it was trying. Big fan, so excited to see how this final act plays out over the next five years!
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mintjeru · 9 months ago
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in case you were wondering, no i haven't gotten over this flashback from cyno's 2nd story quest
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collecting--stardust · 1 year ago
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Triage is such an interesting topic I felt like I'm not even studying and instead reading on a random topic I'm accidentally hyperfixate on
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