#interaction ;; brady levitt
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closed starter for @bradylevitt location: Brady's place
Bridget parked outside her brother's place and went to the backseat to get out the containers of leftover pies and cookies she had that she was going to let her brother take. She had dropped some off to the homeless shelter as well as to her other brothers and now it was Brady's turn. She had her arms full as she approached the door and kicked it hard with her foot. "Brady! If you don't open this door right now, you'll have a dessert mess on your front porch!"
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Text || Brady (October 11th)
Matt: Hey. I know this is late, but I don't think I can make it work tomorrow, if that's okay Matt: They found Emily's body and I just need some time
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The Bonfire
Who: Nancy Thompson, @nicolepeterson, @rickyxthompson, @mattswheeler, @harrison-j-lee, @bradylevitt
Location: Harrison’s place and later Nancy’s
Date: March 31st to April 2nd, 2023
Summary: Brady Levitt hosts a bonfire at the beach down from Harrison Lee’s place in honor of the tree that fell on his store, but Ricky’s recent relapse comes to a head.
Notes: This was written on Discord so we could have it ready to post. Italics was written by Jennie while normal is written by Kayla.
Triggers: Drug use, addiction, rehab mention, drinking, pregnancy
Ricky didn't take anything the day of the bonfire. The idea of being high around his mom or Nicole didn't set well with him because he knew they would both be disappointed in him. He didn't even really want to go but he couldn't think of a valid reason not to be. He didn't think that he would already be feeling withdrawals but things weren't good between him and Nicole and he wouldn't be surprised if they were done after this. Not to mention the last place he wanted to be was Harrison's house. He had Huey with him when he parked his car. He wasn't sure if everyone was going to be inside the house or already at the beach so he went to the front door and knocked. When Harrison answered he already felt tense. "Hey, Ricky." the man said and bent down to pet Huey when the pug ran to him. "Come on in. Everyone is at the lake. I just came to grab the portable barbecue." Harrison closed the door once Ricky stepped inside. "Listen, I wanted to tell you. This house is going to be your mom's, so that means it's yours too. You're always welcome here, Ricky." Ricky knew he was trying to be nice but he maintained his passive aggressive silence. "So, help yourself to whatever you need. Maybe you can help me carry some stuff." he said. Ricky moved to the man's mini bar when he disappeared into his shop and took a small bottle of liquor. "Don't mind if I do," he muttered. If he couldn't get high tonight, he was going to drink. "Is my mom here?" Ricky called to Harrison. "Yeah, she's down by the water. I think Matt and a few others are there too." he answered. Ricky walked out the back door opening the bottle he had taken and took a long drink before he walked down the hill towards the lake.
Nicole wasn't sure if this was a good idea as she parked her car and saw the smoke coming down from the water. She wanted to be here to support Matt and the burning of the tree that caused his injury and while Ricky had said he wanted her there, after the weird texts he sent on the night they were supposed to have a date and only vague words after, she wasn't sure if he still wanted her there. Plus, she wasn't sure if she could be there and keep in the fact she was pregnant. Neena was the only one who knew and she was going to tell Ricky the night of their date, but she hadn't had a chance. She took a deep breath as she turned off the car and headed down the path towards the beach; looking for her boyfriend the second she saw people. Was he even there? Maybe he was sick and was at home. The blonde put on a smile as she saw Matt coming towards her and hugged him back as he hugged her. "Hey! Glad you made it. I figured you and Ricky would've came together." Matt said and she just shrugged. "I was finishing up some editing and I told him I'd just meet him here." She lied to him, but she didn't know what else to say. She didn't want anyone knowing things weren't the best. "Is he here yet?" She asked and looked around for him and Matt shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't... Oh, there he is." He said and pointed to him walking down the path. Matt walked over to him ahead of her and she felt her stomach turn. Please not now, she thought to herself as she went up to her boyfriend, the father of her child and smiled. "Hey, man. You ready to have some fun?" Matt asked with a grin on his face while Nicole gave him a small wave. "Hey, Ricky."
Ricky had mixed emotions when he saw that his girlfriend was actually there. He was happy to see her as had been weeks, but surprised she had showed up at all and worried about how this night was going to go and whether or not he could keep it together. He was out of pills and he hadn't been buying any cocaine, but did a few lines with his drug dealer usually when he went to pick them up. He knew it was for the better. He needed to stop before it was too late but something told him he was going to regret not buying more tonight. He smiled and playfully embraced his girlfriend when he saw her. "Hey, you. You made it." he paused kissing her lips and addressed Matt. "Yeah, fun." He muttered taking another long gulp from his open bottle of liquor and then held it in front of Nicole. "Want a drink?" he asked.
"I told you I would." She said and kissed him back, tasting the liquor in his lips and she scrunched her nose for a moment after pulling back. The taste made her stomach flip again and she started begging in her head for it to calm down. "Are you feeling better?" She asked and looked him over while Matt gave him a confused look. "Were you sick?" He asked his friend, trying to think of when Ricky was sick on lately. The question made Nicole curious what was going on and she waited for Ricky to answer. As he held out the bottle, she smelled the alcohol and she scrunched her nose again. "No. I... I'm not..." She wasn't sure how to say she couldn't drink. There would be question and she didn't want that right now. "I'll wait a bit." She said and forced a smile while she shifted on her feet.
Ricky noticed her reaction to their kiss and was going to ask what was wrong when she asked him about when he was 'sick'. His heart jumped a little with panic. "Oh...yeah. I wasn't feeling good for a day or two. But I'm fine now." he answered. He watched her react strangely again when he offered her a drink. "Are you feeling okay?" he questioned knowing she had mentioned she was sick a while ago. "Well, how about we go sit by the fire?" he asked pulling her by her hand to one of the logs that Harrison used as a bench. There was a stack of wood in box near by. "I guess this is the tree?" he said grabbing a piece to throw on the fire. He still didn't want to think about that night, as this was what had seemed to be the start of his problems.
"Oh. Didn't know that." Matt said and it made Nicole curious. "I'm glad you're doing better, but I'll let you lovebirds talk." He said and walked away. Part of Nicole wished that he would stay, but her attention turned to Ricky. "I'm feeling a little nauseous, but nothing to worry about. I must've had something bad to eat earlier." She lied more before nodding. "Sounds good." She smiled and let him lead her to a log. She sat down and watched as he threw a piece of wood in the fire. "I think so." She said and watched him for a moment. "If it's too much for you, we can leave." She knew that night was hard on him too and she wanted to make sure he was okay. "We can go to my place and relax. Or yours." And maybe in private she could tell him he was going to be a father.
"Yeah. You don't remember?" Ricky looked at his friend pretending to be confused, but he was starting to feel anxious that Matt was going to say something that was going to force him to come out with the truth, which was partly why he wanted to go somewhere away from him. "Yeah. We'll catch up with you later, man." he told Matt. He threw the piece of wood into the fire and sat down on the log taking another drink. He looked at his girlfriend. It was becoming increasingly hard to act like he was fine with all of this. "Are you sure?" he questioned when she suggested it was some bad food. It had been a while that she was not feeling well now. "Maybe you should see a doctor or something." he suggested and shrugged. "We could, if you're not feeling well. But maybe we should stay for a bit at least, make our rounds, you know?" He knew that Brady had been excited about this, as had Matt.
"Probably slipped my mind. The pain meds." Matt said, but stared at Ricky for a moment. "Yeah. I'll see you later." He waved and walked away. Nicole took a deep breath and waited a moment before releasing the breath. She worried she wouldn't be able to hold it back for much longer, but maybe if she just talked and got her mind off it, it'd stop. "Yeah. My dad brought by something my brother made and it probably wasn't good." She let out a little laugh and hoped he believed her. "I have an appointment Wednesday as a check up so I'll mention it." Another lie. She had an OBGYN appointment and she wanted him there. But how was she supposed to ask? "Yeah. I'll be fine. I'll get some water from the cooler. It'll pass." She promised him. Her eyes looked around to see if anyone could hear them before she looked at him and played with her hands. "Actually, I..." Her sentence was cut off as Nancy appeared and smiled at them. "Hey, you two. Matt said you both were here. Did you get food? Something to drink? We have soda, water, some drinks. Harrison should be cooking soon, but there's chips and stuff to hold you over if you need something now."
Ricky shot Matt a cold look as he walked away wondering if he was bringing up the pain meds because of their argument about them the other day. He was starting to worry that Matt knew something he wasn't saying. Maybe everybody did, or maybe that was just the drugs messing with his head. The longer he stayed here the more he felt like he needed some, but he tried to just focus on Nicole instead and appreciate their time together. "Oh. Yeah, that'll do it." he smiled softly and nodded. "Okay. Hopefully its nothing." he told her. "I can get you some water." he told her and was going to stand when she started to say something, but Nancy had come over. Ricky had gone back to mostly ignoring his mother since their talk the other day. Only talking enough so that she wouldn't suspect something was going on. He let out a sigh and rolled her eyes when she interrupted them. "Mom." he said in a stern tone. "Can you give us a minute? We're talking."
It was moments like this that really had Nicole confused. She didn't understand how when they were together, he was the Ricky she knew. He was nice and took care of her and cared for her, but when they parted, he avoided her and avoided them getting together again. She felt crazy for wondering what was going on and unsure if she was just reading too much into things, but it wasn't like it was before. She swallowed as he said that what she had was hopefully nothing. Unfortunately, it was something. "Yeah. Hopefully." She repeated and nodded as he offered her water. Nicole watched how he talked to his mother and she raised an eyebrow in shock; looking at Nancy who looked at her and then her son. "It's fine, Ricky." She said and touched his hand. Nancy, however, shook her head and smiled at Nicole. "It's okay. I shouldn't have interrupted." The older woman didn't want to argue in front of the younger one, but she made a mental note to talk to her son later. "Just don't leave without talking to me." She said towards him and she walked away. Nicole looked at her boyfriend and her face was confused. "What was that? What's going on with your mom? You didn't tell me the other day."
Ricky watched their interaction as his mom apologized but sighed when she said she wanted to talk to him later. Or rather, lecture him, probably. This was why he had been avoiding her. He shook his head when Nicole asked what was going on. "It's nothing. I'm sorry for that." he squeezed her hand. He took another drink seeing his bottle was getting low already. "She's uh...she's moving. She's gonna live here, with Harrison." he explained. He was worried she would think it was stupid of him to be as upset about it as he was. He shrugged. "But it's fine. I'm... probably going to find my own place." He knew that asking to live with her was off the table probably. At least right now. Maybe if he could manage to salvage things. He put a hand on her knee. "I'll get you a drink, okay? Maybe a ginger ale. I'll be back." When he stood, he felt the effects of the alcohol he had been drinking faster than he had realized. He finished off what was in his bottle and opened the cooler, taking a beer, forgetting for a moment about Nicole's drink. Brady suddenly came over placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Tanthor the Brave." the man grinned using Ricky's 'game name'. "You missed our campaign the other day. What happened?" Normally Ricky would be glad to see Brady, but he was just another person who he felt like he had to hide things from. He was his boss, after all. "Oh. I wasn't feeling good." he told the man. "How's your baby?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. "Well, he's with Maggie's brother and dad for a couple hours. We might have to bail early. We've never left him before." He tried to listen as Brady talked about the store reopening but his mind was all over the place. He excused himself and went down by the water to be alone for a bit, and have a cigarette somewhere where the smoke wouldn't bother anyone.
"It didn't seem like nothing." She countered and squeezed hi hands back. "Come on, talk to me." She said, and then he said that his mom was moving in with Harrison and she just watched him. "Is that a bad thing? They seem happy." She said and rubbed his hand before nodding. She wanted to suggest that he could live with her, but would he want to be with her once he found out about the baby? "What's she going to do with the house?" She asked curiously, but he touched her knee and got up to get her something to drink. She sat there for a moment and watched Brady talk with Ricky when Matt came back and sat by her. "So, how was your date?" Matt asked and she creased her eyebrows. "What do you mean? He was sick. He didn't show up." Nicole said and she watched Matt sit up a little. "Oh. That was that night." He said and swallowed. He didn't want to worry Nicole, but he was now curious what was going on with his best friend. "I didn't realize." His eyes moved to Ricky and he stood up. "I'm gonna go talk to him for a second." He said and walked away from Nicole before joining Ricky by the water. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
Ricky hadn't wanted to get into the stuff with his mom and Harrison with Nicole. That wasn't the only thing bothering him right now but just thinking about it made him think it was a bad idea for him to be here. He gulped down half of his beer just wanting something that would make him forget about everything. His mom. His problems with Nicole. The accident with the store and the one that still haunted him five years later. He lit a cigarette and began to wonder if he could find an excuse to leave long enough to meet his dealer. He knew that was a bad idea but so was this. Matt's voice startled him and he jumped a little before facing him. "What?" he asked.
"Why did you lie to Nicole?" Matt said and looked at Ricky. "You weren't sick the night you guys had a date. You haven't been sick at all." He didn't want to accuse him of anything, but he knew something was going on. He was gone a lot and Matt didn't want to get into the missing pills from his bottle. Not yet. He just wanted to see if his best friend would talk to him. "You borrowed money to go out with her that night. Your mom told me. Where did you go?"
Ricky looked at Matt feeling a sense of panic rising in his chest. But he was also annoyed that he was doing this now. They had already talked about the pills and Ricky had gotten upset. "What? dude.. you really wanna do this now?" He stared at him before taking a drag of his cigarette. "I didn't lie to her. And its none of your business if I did, anyways." He told him growing more worried when he asked about the money. "What does it matter if I did? We didn't end up going, okay? I didn't spend the money." He shook his head. "What has gotten into you lately, man? Asking me all this shit like you're the god damn chief of police or something. What is it you think I'm doing exactly? You think I want to go back to jail?" Ricky questioned. He stepped past him giving him a bit of a shove as he did. "Just leave me alone, Matt. Worry about yourself."
He sighed and clenched his jaw for a moment while Ricky got upset at him. "I'm just curious. I didn't tell her, alright?" He said and nodded his head in disbelief as he talked. "You did lie to her. You weren't sick that night. You weren't even home." He argued back. "It matters because she looks worried, Ricky. She looks scared and you can't even see that." He said and rolled his eyes. "You didn't end up going because you lied to her." He repeated before sighing angrily. "I'm just concerned about you. I know you don't want to end up back in jail, but I also know how you were before and you're acting just like that guy." Matt said and as Ricky shoved him a little, he winced as it moved his body weird and irritated his scar. "Hey." Nancy said as she came over to them. "What's going on with you two? Matt, you okay?" She asked and he nodded. "I'm fine." He said and she looked at her son. "I don't know what's going on, but you need to stop this attitude of yours. I know you're upset about me moving, but you could talk to me about it and not act like we're all against you."
He stared hard at Matt trying his best to keep his cool but the more he talked the more he felt like he was going to explode. He needed to get out of here. It didn't help when Matt said that Nicole was scared. It just made him feel like shit. "I'm not acting like anything, Matt. I'm just pissed off that you and everybody else wont leave me alone. Why do you all do this to me? I'm not a fucking child. I'm just trying to live my life and it keeps getting fucked up." His voice was getting louder and he didn't care who heard him. "None of you fucking cared before, when I was in jail. Why are you suddenly so interested?" He let out a breath when his mom came over and shook his head. "Where's Huey? I'm leaving. I don't need this shit." He started walking away looking around for his dog. He finished his beer and didn't know if he was even in the state to drive right now. He spotted the dog near Harrison and called Huey as he approached. The anger pounding in his head suddenly focused on his moms boyfriend. "Its okay, you can have my dog." He said to him. "You already took my mom from me. You want my girlfriend too while you're at it? I heard you like younger women" Harrison just looked at him, too stunned to speak.
"We're concerned about you. You've been like this since my accident. You are blaming yourself and it wasn't your fault. I'm the one who told you to go. It was my fault, okay?" He said, trying to make his friend feel better in any way. "We did too. We've always cared. I've always cared." He knew he didn't reach out when he was in jail, but Nancy said it was for the best. He had believed her, but now he was unsure if it had done any good at all. "No. You're not going anywhere." Nancy said back and followed him as he went to look for his dog and she stopped as he got to Harrison and threw his anger at him. Nicole came up and mouth dropped a little before she turned and got sick into the garbage can nearby. Matt went to her to see if she was okay and Nancy took a deep breath. "That's enough!" She yelled and she grabbed her son's arm. "You are not going anywhere, do you hear me? You're too out of it and you're going to cause a wreck." She let go of him. "Go up to the house and lay down. There's plenty of rooms and you can find one to calm down in. Go. Now." She said forcefully before she moved to Matt and Nicole. "Are you feeling alright? You can go lay down too, if you need to. Don't feel like you have to go in the same room as him. He needs to calm down." Nancy hated the woman was mixed up in this and hoped it didn't ruin anything for her son by seeing him this way. "I-I'm okay. I just need water." She said and moved towards the coolers. "Mom, I think he's using again." Matt said softly to her and swallowed. "I've found some of my pain pills missing and he... He lied to Nicole about the date. I don't know what he spent the money you gave him on, but he's not..." Nancy smiled and touched his hand. "I know, Matt. I'll worry about it later, okay?"
Ricky turned to his mom as she started yelling and pulled free from her grasp on his arm. He didn't really notice Nicole throwing up with everything else going on but he became vaguely aware of the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over the party after his outburst. He opened his mouth to argue when his mom told him to go inside but he knew she was right. He couldn't drive right now. The last thing he needed was to get into another accident or cause one. Without a word he stormed back up to the house. Brady approached Nancy, concerned about Ricky. "Nance, is everything alright?" he asked. He had wanted this to be a celebration to move on from that night. It had undoubtedly effected him, having to find Matt like that and his store in ruins. It had effected Matt too so he thought this was a positive thing for all of them, but obviously there was more going on with Ricky.
Nancy took a deep breath after everything and turned to Brady as he asked if everything was alright. She knew that he wanted it to be a good night and she hated that her son had acted this way. "It'll be okay. I'm sorry he's acting this way." She apologized to him. "We can continue this. He'll calm down up there and it'll be okay. He just needs some time away." She was unsure if she was saying it to him anymore or to herself. She was more than worried now, but wanted to keep a brave face on for those around her. She knew Matt was worried and she didn't want to worry Nicole more and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin this for Brady. She just wanted her son okay.
Brady was willing to end the party if he had to, if people weren't having a good time because of everything that was going on. He nodded when Nancy reassured him. "Yeah. He'll be fine." he agreed. As time went on things seemed to pick up again with everyone at the party. Meanwhile Ricky had gone into the house. He laid down to rest on the couch for a while trying to ignore his cravings for something stronger than alcohol but he was starting to feel more paranoid about what Matt had asked him and about how this was going to effect Nicole when things were already rocky between them. He just didn't want to be there anymore. He felt like it was a bad idea for him to come in the first place. Maybe later he would call Nicole and apologize for all of this but he sat up and sent a text to his dealer instead. He had a little bit of money left and he knew once he had a hit this would all disappear for a while. He told them he had no car right now and asked them to pick him up on the road near Harrison's house. He watched the party from the back window while he waited. Nobody would notice he was gone, at least he hoped not. When he got another text saying they were close by he left the house to search for the car, and got in once they slowed down next to him.
Nicole had gotten a water bottle out of the cooler and rinsed her mouth before taking a few drinks. She sat down by the fire and took a deep breath to calm herself down. She felt better now that she had gotten sick, but she hated she had done it in front of everyone. She heard someone by her and looked up to see Matt. "You okay?" He asked and she nodded. "Yeah. I think it's just everything going on. I'll be okay." She smiled at him. Matt nodded and sat down. "Don't mind Ricky. He's not acting like himself." He tried telling her and she sighed. "What's going on with him?" The boy let out a sigh. "I'm not sure, but we'll worry about. It's okay." He assured her. Nancy was watching them talk from afar and she turned to Harrison. "Matt said he thinks Ricky's using again. He found his pills missing." She said and sighed. "I can't go through him like this again, Harrison. I thought he was doing better."
Harrison had felt uneasy since Ricky's outburst, as it had been directed towards him. Up until now he thought that things were fine between him and Ricky but this made him worry. He didn't want for things to have to end between him and Nancy because her son was unhappy with them being together. He looked at his girlfriend when she spoke. "That would make sense. I didn't realize that he thought those things about me." he said. He put an arm around her trying to comfort her. "If he is, then he needs help. Probably more than you or anyone here can give him." he said. He knew that deep down Ricky was a good kid but he recognized the anger he seemed to have as he had once been in the same place. "Maybe someone should check on him." he looked up at his house. Ricky's car was still there and Huey hadn't left Harrison's side since he had went inside, but he had a strange feeling.
Nancy took a deep breath and looked at him. "Hey, he doesn't, okay? Don't believe him when he's like this. He says a lot of things." She assured him and leaned against him as he comforted her. "I know. I just don't think he's going to listen to me. He'll think I'm turning against him." She looked down and wished this whole thing was easier than it was. "Yeah. I can go up the house." She said as Matt and Nicole appeared. "We can check. I was going to show Nicole where the bathroom was anyways." Matt suggested and Nancy smiled. "If you both are sure. Nicole, how are you feeling?" She asked. "Better. I just want to wash my face." She said with a smile. The two walked up to the house and Matt called out for Ricky after showing Nicole where the bathroom was. However, he couldn't find him and the two searched all over, but he wasn't there. The two came back down and approached Nancy and Harrison. "He's not up there. We looked all over."
Harrison nodded, wanting to believe her. "Maybe it really bothers him that you're going to be living here." he said. He had extended the invite to Ricky to move in as well, but he didn't know what more he could do to make him feel okay with it. He rubbed her back. "I know. It's wouldn't be easy but if he is, then we need to do something before its too late." Harrison knew what it was like to rely on substances to escape from emotions over certain things. It had been easy to do when he was younger. He nodded when Matt and Nicole offered to check on Ricky. He knew that he was probably the last person he wanted to see and he may not respond favorably to Nancy right now either. He guided Nancy to sit down near the fire while they waited. When they returned a moment later and said he wasn't there he frowned. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I'll go check. Maybe he just went into the basement or something" He knew his house better than anyone so he went to it and checked every room. He grabbed a flash light and looked around outside in his yard and where everyone had parked thinking that he may have just went outside to smoke or something. He returned back to the beach and let out a sigh when he approached Nancy shaking his head. "He's not there. I checked outside and everything. But his car is still here, and so is Huey. He could have gone into the woods." he said but knew that would mean there was a possibility he could be hurt if he had fallen or something. "Has anyone tried calling him?" he asked. "If he doesn't answer, we might have to start spreading out and looking."
She took a deep breath. "I think it does, but that's just one of the many things going on." Nancy didn't want him to think it was the only thing happening. She knew her son had been upset for a while now and anything could've added to that. She sat at the fire while Nicole and Matt went to look, but the second they came back and said he wasn't there, she stood and looked at them. "What do you mean?" She said and Harrison was quick to go up and look himself. She hoped that he would find him, but she did try calling Ricky while Harrison was gone. By the time the man got back, she had called a few times with no luck and Matt started calling too. "He's not answered any of us. What if he's hurt and fell somewhere?" Nancy said as she started panicking.
He put his hand on Nancy's shoulder knowing she was going to worry. "We'll find him. Don't worry. The neighbors houses aren't that far from here, so he couldn't have gotten far." he tried to assure her but it seemed very odd from him to have left without telling anyone. He wanted to believe there was a logical explanation. Maybe he had just gone out for some fresh air and wasn't far from the house, but if that wasn't the case than this was concerning. "If we don't find him, I guess we'll have to call the police." Harrison said.
"He could get lost or fall into the lake." Nancy said, worried about what had happened to her nephew. Nicole started trying to call Ricky as well as she started getting nervous and Matt took a deep breath. "I can start looking in the woods or something." He suggested and Nicole sighed. "I couldn't get ahold of him." Matt rubbed her arm. "Let me try again." He said while Nancy started walking around, calling out her son's name. Matt dialed Ricky again and let it ring.
Ricky wasn't sure how long ago it was that he had left the party. He had somehow found himself at a "better" party, or what he would consider better at the time. At least nobody there was angry or worried about him. He was at one of the night clubs down town, where he and his former dealer use to hang out before Ricky went to jail. It was a good way for him to score the drugs he so desperately needed right now. He didn't really care where he had to go as long as he got them. He also knew that going home tonight was out of the question. He'd sooner sleep on a park bench than go home to face his family when he was like this. He was considerably out of it when his phone went off and could barely hear it from all the noise. He had stepped outside to smoke and saw the missed calls from Nicole, his mom, and Matt. All people he just wanted to avoid right now. He definitely wasn't going to talk to them on the phone in the state he was in. He sent a text to Matt after letting his call go to voicemail. "Tell my mom to stop freaking out I just need some time alone. I'm hanging out with my real friends. I'm fine." after he hit send, he turned it on silent and went back inside.
Matt was just about to tell Nancy that Ricky didn't answer once again, but his phone dinged and he looked to see a text from him. He didn't even respond back, knowing this wasn't Ricky who was talking to him, and he went over to Nancy. "He's okay." He said and she turned to look at him with panic in her eyes. "You talked to him?" She asked and Matt shook his head. "He texted me. He said he's hanging out with some friends. He didn't tell me where or anything, but he's okay." Well, as okay as he was going to be right now. Relief went over Nancy and she sat down by the fire. "Thanks, Matt." She said and just put her head in her hands for a moment.
Harrison let out a sigh when Matt told then he got a text from Ricky. He knew what it probably meant when Matt said he was with "friends" and he was sure Nancy did too. He put her hand on her back. "At least we know he's okay. He'll come home I'm sure." he tried to assure her. "Why don't you go back to your place and wait for him? I'll come over once the party dies down." He said knowing it had been an emotional night and she would probably rather be home.
Nancy took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay." She said and stood up before looking at Matt. "You want to come with?" She asked him, but he shook his head. "I'll make sure Nicole gets home okay since she's not feeling well. Maybe talk to her about what's going on." He suggested and she smiled at him. "Alright. I can pick you up later if you need." Nancy offered before kissing Harrison goodbye and heading home to Maple Hills to wait for Ricky to come home.
** TIME JUMP **
It was starting to get light out when Ricky woke up on some musky smelling mattress, but he had no idea what time or even what day it was. His stomach felt sick. His head felt groggy and yet awake at the same time. When he sat up the dizziness overcame him and he had to run to the bathroom and throw up. It took him a few minutes to realize that he was in a hotel. One of the cheap ones that had a bad reputation down town. There was evidence that his friends had been here, but no one else was in the room. There were empty liquor bottles, pills and powder all over the table. He couldn't seem to get his heart to calm down but his body felt like it needed more sleep. He glanced at his phone trying to focus. He had so many missed calls and texts from his mom, his sister, and Matt. Evidently he had been here for a day and it was 6am but he wasn't sure if this was accurate. He knew he had no car, but he was going to have to make his way home. If he didn't they were going to call the cops and have him put in jail again. That was exactly what they wanted, he reasoned. To lock him up again. He had screwed up big time this time, he was too much for them to handle. He saw some money next to the drugs on the table and took some of it. Just enough to get home. He was going to have to go there to pack, then he was going to have to get out of town before they locked him up again. He managed to get an uber ride. When the car arrived, the driver made him feel nervous, although he didn't really talk at all. His head kept darting around looking out the windows as he fidgeted and muttered to himself until he finally started to recognize his neighborhood. He paid the driver and went to his front door. He didn't even consider what he as going to do if someone was home. His hand felt around in the darkness and turned on the light switch before he went into the kitchen.
Nancy thought she was doing feeling like this. She thought she was done worrying about where her son was and what he was doing out there. She thought they were done with the drugs and Ricky was starting a new, better path. And yet, here they were again. She had barely slept and didn't go to the bar. She stayed by the phone in case there was a call and stayed at her house. She knew Matt had gone out looking for her son, but there was no such luck. Even Renee called around, but there was no word. She knew her son would come home eventually, she just didn't know when or in what state. She had gotten up when the sun did and left Harrison sleeping in the bed. She walked down the stairs and started making a pot of coffee when the light came on and she turned to see Ricky standing there. "Ricky." She said softly as she crossed the kitchen, pulling him into a hug for a moment before she moved back and looked at him. "Where the hell have you been? We've been looking for you." She eyed him up and down. "You look like shit. Still high or did you sleep it off?"
Ricky was not prepared to face his mom right now. His heart jumped when she appeared but it didn't come down and felt like it was going to fly out of his chest. He stared at her as she came to him and hugged him. "I was....I.." he stammered when she asked where he was. "I just needed to be alone for a while." he wasn't angry like he was when he left the party. He was just scared and confused more than anything. He frowned at her question not really sure the answer himself. He did feel like he was coming off of whatever he had taken but it was going to be a long time before it wore off. He was surprised he was still alive with how much he did. "What are you talking about? I'm not...I didn't do anything. I'm just tired, Mom." his hands were shaking as he reached for the back of a chair to steady himself. He sat down and then stood up again quickly, feeling uncomfortable being here. He took a deep breath. "Mom, I'm...I think I'm going to have to go away for a while. Or for good, I don't know. Like maybe I'll find a place out of the city or something. My own place.'" he tried to explain though his thoughts weren't making much sense even to him.
"But you weren't alone, were you?" She said and looked at him, but could never meet his eyes. She knew her worrying was for something and here it was. He was lying to her again. He was clearly on something and he could barely speak or keep straight thoughts. "Don't you lie to me." She said quietly, but sternly. "You took Matt's pills, you spent money that was supposed to be a date for you and Nicole on whatever it is you bought, and look at you now. You can't even stand straight, Ricky." She swallowed before shaking her head. "You're right. You are going to have to go away for a while, but don't you think it's to some apartment in whatever city to get high again." She grabbed the brochure off the counter and pressed it hard against his chest. It was for the rehab clinic in town. "You're going here."
Ricky couldn't make eye contact with her right now. This was probably the worst thing that could be happening right now. He had been so scared in the beginning that he was going to get caught. He kept telling himself if he only took a little bit, it would be fine. Nobody would notice. Now he was beyond the point of being able to hide it. "I was." he responded and shook his head when she started on her accusations. "No. No. I did not take Matt's pills, Mom." his voice was angry but he was trembling with panic. "Matt miscounted them and he blamed it on me. He's trying to get me in trouble. You're all trying to get me in trouble.." he muttered. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "I'll give you the money back. I needed it, but not for what you think." he went on. He finally looked at her growing more confused when she said he was going away and shoved something at him. He couldn't comprehend what the brochure was for. He shook his head quickly and threw the brochure down. "No! You...you're just trying to get rid of me. You just wanna send me away again, is that it? You want me locked up." tears welled in his eyes and he took a breath letting out a sob. "You just wanna send me away." he repeated burying his head in his hands.
She sighed as he talked, but she stayed calm. Yelling was not the way to do this. He was going to get upset, she knew that, but she needed to be firm and gentle while getting him to understand this was what he needed to do. "Matt didn't miscount, honey. We both know that. No one is getting you into trouble. You're not in trouble." Nancy's voice was soft and she looked at him. "What did you need it for?" She asked, trying to see if her son would tell her that, but she knew exactly what it was for. She watched as he looked at the brochure and then threw it down. "Ricky, if I was trying to send you away, I'd let the cops know what you did and get you arrested again. But that's what's going to happen if you don't go. Or worse, you could die." She had tears in her own eyes now and she reached out to touch his arm. "This isn't far away and I'll visit you every day that I can. This isn't going to be like it was when you were in jail. You just need to do this, baby. You need to get help."
Ricky shrugged when she asked what the money was for. "I just did. I just needed it. I don't have any money right now." he told her. Maybe that had been his intention, to ask for money so that he could patch things up with Nicole but that was ruined now. He didn't expect her to want to be with him now. If she saw him in the state he was in she probably wouldn't want anything to do with him, and he couldn't blame her. He tried to listen as she assured him that he wasn't going to jail. He continued to sob and shake his head unable to look at her. "No...no, I don't want to go away." he said. Her final words registered somehow in the part of his mind that was coming down from the high. The sober version of himself that had become lost for a while now. He nodded slowly. "I do. I need help." he took a breath and looked up at her, tears still falling down his face. "I don't wanna be like this anymore. I'm sorry."
"Tell me what it was for." She asked softly. She knew what it was for. She knew more than well, but she wanted him to say it. She wanted him to admit what was going on because she knew that was going to be the first part of this. It broke her heart as he sobbed and she wanted to hold him. She just needed him to realize this was for the best. "You won't be. You'll be in East Haven, okay? You'll have us all there supporting you." She said and watched him before he nodded. Relief filled her as he finally said he needed help. She wrapped him into a hug and held him close to her. "It's okay, honey. It'll be okay." She said and kissed his head softly. "We'll get through this."
Ricky knew that she knew the truth. She may not have known everything, but the way he had acted at the party the other night made it obvious. He didn't want to have to say it to her. He rubbed his hair and his face nervously, unable to look at her. "I...I've been... taking Xynax." he said in small voice. "I thought I needed it because I was depressed. And it just led to other things. Adderall, and coke." he let out a shaky breath feeling the remorse fall over him as he buried his head and cried. He found it hard right now to believe that anyone; Matt, Renee, Nicole, would offer their support. He didn't deserve it after the way he had lied to them and treated them. Especially Nicole. He broke down when she put her arms around him, sobbing and shaking for a while. When he caught his breath he was able to speak. "When...when do I have to go?" he asked her. He hated this. He hated that it had come down to this. He wiped his face on his sleeve and looked at his mom. "Will you tell Nicole that I'm sorry? If you see her again. I doubt that I will."
She felt weak as he told her what he was taken. She hated that he was feeling depressed and didn't talk to her. She hated hearing it all. It took all her strength to stay standing. She needed to be strong for him. She held him close as he sobbed into her and she was glad that he saw he needed help. She looked into his eyes and touched his cheek, wiping some of his tears away. "We can go later, if you want. Let you shower, I can fix some breakfast, you can pack, maybe sleep. But you have to stay here, okay? I'll drive you myself." She said before taking a deep breath. "I'll tell her, but honey, that girl loves you. She's asked every day if you were home yet. You're going to be seeing her again, okay? And you can make amends then." She said and rubbed his shoulders. "Why don't you give me your phone and your keys and you go shower. I'll get breakfast ready."
Ricky looked at her with worried eyes. "Today?" he wasn't expecting it to be so soon. But he knew that if they put it off he might not go. He was scared, and not just because of the drugs. Tomorrow he would wake up in a new place full of strangers. He was scared that even if he went through with this it wasn't going to fix him. Jail hadn't even fixed him. It put a lump in his throat when she said that Nicole loved him. He didn't know how she possibly could after what he had put her through. "Okay.. Tell Matt I'm sorry, too." He might see Matt before he left, but he wanted to tell her just in case. He reached for his mom's hand as tears filled his eyes again. "And I'm sorry to you, Mom. I really am." he let out a breath. "I really screwed up this time." he said and shook his head. "I'm not hungry right now. But I'll shower, and sleep for a while." It might be the last time he had the opportunity to do these things in the peace of his own home for a while. He handed her his keys and his phone.
She sighed and nodded. "I think the sooner, the better." She said and touched his cheek. Nancy knew it'd be better for him to go soon, but granted him some time to rest after everything he just went through. "I'll tell him too." She promised him. Her heart broke as he took her hand and said his apologies to her as he cried. Tears built up in her eyes and she started crying as well. "It's okay. I know you've been through a lot." She said and wiped his tears. "You're going to get better. I promise." She kissed his cheek. "Okay. If you change your mind, let me know." She said and took his phone and keys. "I love you, Ricky."
#interaction ;; ricky thompson#interaction ;; harrison lee#interaction ;; brady levitt#interaction ;; nicole peterson#interaction ;; matt wheeler#para ;; the bonfire#drug use tw#rehab mention tw#pregnancy tw#addiction tw#drinking tw
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Trauma and catharsis in Gregg Araki’s Mysterious Skin
Trauma never truly leaves you. It shapes the choices you make, the people you love, the way you cope. Gregg Araki’s Mysterious Skin is about different coping mechanisms – acceptance and denial – viewed through the lens of two men who were abused as children.
Throughout human history, men have been taught how not to feel, to contain themselves within a bubble of apathy in order to appear more masculine. Many men who have experienced trauma end up distancing themselves from their own feelings and loved ones. Existing or potential connection can be sabotaged by the anxiety that they’ll be judged for not healing immediately, for not being enough of a man. This film is proof that repression is inferior to connection in helping people cope with their pain. It’s never as simple as getting over it.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Neil remembers everything that happened the night he was assaulted. He has survived but is hanging by a thread, trying to force himself into a reality where he is complete. He is queer, engaging with older men for financial and sexual gratification, trying to redefine his own sexuality. His body is almost malnourished, his torso is slim and hardened. No traces of fat or muscle, just the marks of sex and poverty. Araki shows the everyday agonies of existing as queer and dealing with trauma in an apathetic world.
Neil is assaulted again and nothing in his past allows him to escape that reality. He cannot alter the actions of other people. Masculinity can be a prison for people like Neil, languishing over the image of what a man is supposed to be. However, he refuses to become something he isn’t. Being abused doesn’t change the fact that he’s gay and the fear of it happening again doesn’t stop him from trying to become himself. Gordon-Levitt’s performance is beautiful in how it captures numbness, the acceptance of pain but the repression of feeling is recognisable and profoundly moving.
Brian is softer than Neil, emotionally and physically. His body is a little larger, the frame of someone who doesn’t have to worry about his next meal. He is kind and sincere about everything he does, almost unassuming of the tragedies around him. Brady Corbet plays him like a child in a grown man’s body, filled with a warmth that radiates from the screen. Brian is obsessed with the moments in his childhood where his memories faded. Aliens are his justification for these missing fragments of time.
Brian is obsessive and hyper-fixated on the belief that he was abducted as a child and came back for a reason. He devotes himself to searching for every scrap of proof, even making a connection with another obsessed woman. Two people looking for a greater purpose. Araki never films these situations judgmentally – there’s no mockery of Brian’s rejection of reality. It is sincerely empathetic and allows us to believe that maybe everything was okay, that he wasn’t hurt. The sad truth is that Brian is just like Neil, a boy hurt in ways no one should ever be.
Neil’s arc is realisation that he can help someone else with their pain, Brian’s arc is accepting that he is a victim. In the final scene, both men go back to the building where they were abused and remember what happened. Tears fall down their cheeks, Neil holds Brian tightly so that he knows that it won’t be like that dark night again, that he’s not going to be that vulnerable little boy anymore. They’ve finally found someone else who understands.
The intimacy they share is overwhelming and Araki’s compassion comes through in the framing. There is never a sense of emotional exploitation from his camera, no sensationalised close-ups or a grandiose orchestral score. It is simple, focused on the little nuances of their interaction such as Neil’s hands grazing Brian’s side to try and comfort. Just two bodies united together out of a need for love, with none of Araki’s visual excessiveness. All that remains is the catharsis from knowing someone will be next to you through everything.
The film cuts back and forth between their recounting of trauma to snippets of that night. There is no detailed sequence of sexual assault, just implication and the faces of their younger selves with the man that hurt them. It is quiet, all about the bravery of their words and the emotions spilling out of them. As soon as they’re done reflecting, they hear music. Christmas carols outside singing beautiful melodies. Neil’s voice whispers, “I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind, rise like two angels in the night and magically disappear,” as the music washes over everything and the frame fades to black.
Trauma festers in the recipient’s bones, feeds on their loathing and fear. Despite this, there is beauty all around us – we have to fight so we can keep feeling it. There will always be someone who loves you.
The post Trauma and catharsis in Gregg Araki’s Mysterious Skin appeared first on Little White Lies.
source https://lwlies.com/articles/mysterious-skin-gregg-araki-masculinity-and-trauma/
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closed starter for @bradylevitt location: Critical Roll
The bakery was closed for the day and Bridget had some left over desserts so she got a box full of a random assortment and headed downtown to her oldest brother's shop to deliver them. She knew he was having a D&D campaign tonight and figured those in attendance would like some sweets to keep them going. Walking in, she told Matt she brought them treats and he quickly took them to give out to the others, which made her laugh. She walked over to her brother and grinned. "Might wanna hurry and snag something before they're gone."
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"I learned from the best." Bridget smiled at him. She was glad to have him help her whenever she needed it. All her brothers did and she was lucky to have them all. She scrunched up her face. "Which was bullshit, by the way. What good was it to have my brother as my teacher if I couldn't just easily pass his class?" She teased and shook her head. "I think it does." She rolled her eyes. "Please just let him learn English before you dive into those. I'd like to communicate with him at some point." She nodded. "That sounds more like it. You used to suck reading to me as a kid." @bradylevitt
"Well, I'd say that's a smart business move." He said somewhat teasingly. Although when Bridget had first started talking about opening a bakery Brady was happy to teach his sister everything he knew about running a business. He let out a huff. "I didn't give you special treatment in school and I'm certainly not giving you special treatment at our table." he stated before nodding when she asked about her nephew. "Well, if wanting to put them in his mouth counts. But yeah. He's getting quite prolific in telling his sisters off in baby language. I just need to get the Druid and Elvish down and he'd be good to go. The story telling, he probably gets from his mom though." he explained.
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"Oh, I'll just deliver them to her and her alone. I can't ruin my reputation for helping the pregnant women in East Haven." Bridget grinned at him, looking over at the woman in question who was definitely enjoying her chocolate éclair. "Maybe I should bring more next time." She said and then looked back at her brother, scrunching up her face a little. "Really? I can't get a pass because you're my brother?" She asked him teasingly. "I bet. And boo. Maybe I'll go spend time with her and the kids then." She said. "Yeah? Showing a real draw towards the dice? Or just really good at storytelling?"
He gave a huff in response. "Well don't blame me when you have an upset pregnant girl on your hands," he said referring to Nicole who had joined their campaign when she started dating Ricky. He rolled his eyes. "That's not how the game works. You'd have to start at level 1 just like everyone else." he told her as he started to set up the map. "We're always happy to make sure things don't go to waste. And I wish they were, but they're at home with Maggie. With Freddie putting everything in his mouth these days, the table is no place for a baby." He explained. "Though though I look forward to teaching him when he's older. I'd say he's definitely DM material."
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"They better or I'll stop bringing them in." She said with a smile and watched as the group started eating the desserts. Her eyes went back to her brother and smiled. "A whole lot of nothing. I just closed up." She explained before she made a little face. "Ooh, as much fun as that sounds, I have no interest unless I'm ruled queen and get a cute tiara out of it." She smirked. "I just wanted to check in and drop off those so they don't go to waste. I was also slightly hoping my adorable nephew or nieces were around to steal them for a little while you take over Mordor."
He chuckled when he saw his sister come in. "Yeah those won't last long here with these guys." He said. "But I'm sure they will appreciate it." He didn't allow alcohol or weed or anything like that at his campaigns because not only did it distract from the game but he didn't like having it around and he knew with Ricky coming back it wasn't a good idea. However, he always made up for it by having plenty of snacks. "So what are you up to tonight, Bridge? Are you here to join us in the battle against the cult of dragon slayers?" He questioned already knowing she had no interest in the game but couldn't resist teasing his sister.
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Matt: You don't have to do that. It's okay Matt: Thanks, Brady
Brady: I get that. Don't even worry about it. I'll make sure you're not losing any money. Brady: Please do. Maggie and I are happy to help with anything you need.
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"I can't say I blame them when its almost December. I expect you guys to go all out for the upcoming holidays already." She said and moved into the house before sighing happily as he took the a container from her. "Well, I had some extra treats people had ordered and never picked up for Thanksgiving so I figured I'd drop them off to my brothers. Already stopped by Wesley's and Quentin's, so you get the rest." She moved to the kitchen and put down what she was carrying on the counter. @bradylevitt
Brady heard his sister's voice outside and opened the door picking up Freddie who always went to the door to see who was here now that he could. "Well I might just let you. I'm pretty sure the neighbors were in talks of starting a petition for us to take down the Halloween stuff a few days ago. I might leave a mess there just to piss them off more." He pushed open the door and took the container from her with his free hand. "What do we have here?" He asked trying to hold the box away from Freddie when he reached for it. @bridgetxlevitt
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Matt: You don't have to say anything, but thank you. I don't want to take too much time off. I just can't focus on work right now. Matt: Thanks. I'll let you know if there's something
Brady: Oh my god matt. I don't know what to say. Brady: I understand completely. please take all the time you need. You can use your bereavement time if you need to. I'll fill your shifts, don't worry. Brady: If theres anything else I can do please let me know.
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