#insurance i never use bc i dont fucking go anywhere

[kudae]

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[dancing-cockroaches]

I got a prescription for a nebulizer atleast 2+ months ago and I really regret not filling it, everytime my asthma comes around to kick me in the ass I'm like "damn i should really hand in this script" but I cant do that at 8 PM which is the time at which I go out (I hate going out during the day) and the time the thought occurs to me. And at this point I dont even know if the pharmacy would fill it. Or if theyd be like "bitch this script is from June. It is september. Get out". My pharmacy is CVS, they dont even have nebulizers in my area, so I'd have to go to a different pharmacy, and I've been going through CVS for so long I dont even remember how to enroll in a pharmacy. Sometimes it just feels like CVS just knows what insurance I have through magic or some shit, because they've never asked me for my card and I've gotten my medicine from them for pretty much my whole life with 0 issues. I just walk up and they're like "ok here's your adderall that'll be $5" even if it's a different location and I'm pretty sure the process would not be that simple with a completely different pharmacy. I know fuck-all about pharmacy billing despite working in health insurance because of how seamless CVS makes it seem. I moved thousands of miles and these employees didnt even skip a beat, no "oh uh we'll just need to see your insurance card" or "you're in Nevada, but your insurance on file was last updated 2 decades ago and is a NY state insurance so that's weird" nope just "hey, you've never been to this location before, but here's your birth control. It's free by the way".

Do they have to like, contact my insurance? I have NY state insurance, these people are thousands of miles away from NY so they've most likely never seen this insurance. My insurance would cover it, I already know they would, but would the pharmacy fumble it? It's happened - once my claim was submitted to blue cross blue shield of fucking Arizona for some reason. I don't even have BC/BS (you could say technically I do, but I really dont) and I dont live in Arizona. My insurance just confuses the fuck outta people for some reason (ok tbh for good reason, it is kinda funky cuz it's called NYSHIP but is technically UHC but depending on circumstance some of it is BC/BS and some of it is Beacon health, now owned by Anthem, which all sounds very confusing but I swear to fuck it is miles better & less confusing than bitches like Medicare.. fuck Medicare, this is a pro-Medicare slander blog, so I'll shit talk them wherever I can squeeze it in), not like they're combative or deny a lot of things, they'll fuckin approve anything (UNLIKE FUCKING MEDICARE), they're just not common here. It's also literally called Empire Plan/NY State Health Insurance, making them assume it's only a NY insurance despite that not being the case, you can only get it in NY, but it can be used anywhere.

[lovedeluxe92]

okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that. 

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist,  but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she  didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit. 

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is  fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy. 

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have? 

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit 

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever 

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao 

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao 

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

[locktobre]

very mean!!!! very negative!!!!!!!!!!!! rant ahead lmao

my brother told me the other day that he doesn’t need friends and that’s like the saddest thing ive ever heard and it also pisses me off bc it s like no wonder ur depressed!!! you don’t talk to anyone!!! you don’t go anywhere!!!!!!!! you’re not even fucking TRYING all you do is sit in your room and play video games and watch tv that’s not living, at all. you’re not trying so of course you’re not going to get better!!!!!

im depressed too!!! do u know how hard it is for me to leave the house 5 days a week for my job? its so hard and i hate it but also, it helped me so much bc im like, out of the house. i get up and go somewhere and even tho i don’t go very many other places, it’s still SOMETHING. im busting my ass to be alive! im trying hard and i don’t even have the benefit of medications!!!!! (long story short i used to take antidepressants and then i kept forgetting to take them and so i just. stopped and never got back on and now i have 0 insurance so its not really an option anymore) 

im TRYING!! really hard!!!!!!!! and it doesnt get any easier but its better than what hes fucking doing which is NOTHING! and then im supposed to feel bad that hes suicidal? fucking do it then!!!!!!! thats a horrible thing to say but im so tired of going through this, im tired of being afraid of what hes going to do, im tired im tired im fucking TIRED!!!! leave me alone!!!! stop ruining my life bc i am trying my best to live right now!!! im giving all i got and you just keep fucking dragging me down. go ahead and do it i dont fucking care i just want it to be over so i can get on with my life. my mom would be devastated but im so past caring. im so past it. i was past it YEARS ago and you have to ruin my day telling me hes suicidal again!!! what did i fucking do to deserve this just leave me ALONE