#instead of studying for the licensure exam but we move anyways

[verbumproxen]

the last two people I had a hyperfixation on won the highest awards of their field SO IN CONCLUSION: WE WILL GET YOU THAT WDC CHARLES

[goldiemier-blog]

When you take your failure positively. ♥

(bare with me and my long story.. but hey, I guess it’s worth the read. give it a try.)

* What would you do if you know to yourself you studied hard for your exam and failed? And, what if that test is for a licensure exam? What you do? What would you feel? Well, I know how it feels. *

Taking the Nursing course doesn't guarantee or denotes you that you are already a Nurse once you graduate. You need to take the Board Exam to test your ability and if you are really capable to handling a patient. So there I was,  graduated from the course I chose, and took the review in a so-called review center to enable me to enhance my knowledge, add up some information on how I can analyze and pick the correct answers exactly. After months of reviewing, the day of the examination came. It was a 2-day test compose of 5 parts - 100 items each. Nervousness started to arise, but I need to keep myself calm or else I'll be distracted when answering the test. Bell rang, meaning test is about to start. Seated in my chair, preparing myself and praying that he'll guide me all through out the tests. After that nerve-wracking 2 days, I needed to wait for another few months for the result. (Great! When will this stress end..)

I went to an out-of-the-country trip with my family after I took the exam and that lessen the burden I have from thinking of what the result will be. I even went to short vacation to our province where my father is originally staying just to have some bonding and catch-up with my other relatives from my father's side that I haven't seen for more than a decade. Then, one day, we went somewhere (I totally forgot exactly where it was), and on our way home I fell asleep in the car, waking up we were already in front of the house. Before I went out of the car, I was browsing my phone and seen that there's a text message from my friend who also took the exam (but from another place). Her message to me was....

"Bhest, ok lang yan. May next time pa naman." (Bhest, it's okay, there's still next time.)

I was clueless at the moment why did she say that? There was no previous conversation between us for the past few days then all of a sudden she texted me saying those words.. and then it hit me. I felt my heart pounding hard, I felt weak and can't utter a word. Its like that moment stopped for a few seconds I was really blank. She was pertaining to the exam's result. I failed. My world crashed. I'm in the home town of most of my relatives and they know I took the exam. I got off the car, went to the room and tears started to roll down my cheeks. I don't know how to tell my parents that I did not make it. I am aware that they will be disappointed, as they always have high expectations in me.  But, somehow I needed the courage to tell them.. they will know anyway. I prepared myself for how they will react and what they have to say.  So I told my father that the results came out but my name wasn't there. And as expected, he expressed his disappointment in me (who will not be). I even called my mother and told her the unfortunate news, and I got the same reaction. My friends called asking if I was okay. I couldn't help myself and cry.. In our group of friends, they passed, I did not.. and it's really heart breaking. I started to question myself, my situation, and God "WHY?".. I know to myself I did what I have to do. I exerted effort in every review I have to attend, but why did that happened to me? I know I was not the only one, however that did not lifted my self-esteem. Days passed, my step-mother (wonder why step mom? my parents are separated that's why and that's another story) noticed that I was still not myself. I was only in the room, most of the time sleeping, watching movie, browsing the net. The only reason I'm going out of the room was to eat, to shower and to.. eat. She decided to take me out to watch movie in order for me to forget. It helped. Thanks to her and some of her encouraging words that really helped me to stand again. After that day, everything changed.

I found myself having a different perspective on my failure. I took it positively.

Failure happens in our lives to help us strive harder to reach our goals. There is no shortcut or easy path in life.

It is impossible that no one in this world experience the word “FAILURE”. It comes in different forms, different situation. Failure is not a result but a way of change. Once you fail in some point in your life it doesn’t mean it’s the end of everything. Look at the brighter side of it. It’s hard at first, but when you have the determination, the failure you had will be your turning point to do better the next time around.

God enables us to experience failure, in order for us to test our faith in him. It is also one way of him saying that, “Don’t worry about this. I am here for you. I got this.”

Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

I remember one of friends telling me....

“Kung ako siguro yung bumagsak, hindi ko alam kung paano ko sila haharapin sa school kapag pumunta ako. or baka never na ko pumunta.” (If I was the one who failed, I don’t know how I will face them in school, or maybe I will never come there.)

That even gave me the courage to go in our school, faced my disappointed instructors (as they were also aware that I am capable of passing, but yah,  I did not..) and tell them, I will retake the exam and this time around, I assure them that I will pass! I had so much confidence in me though there is still little nervousness. I settled my mind that “I CAN DO THIS”. My faith in God got deeper. I asked him to give more strength and wisdom. I reviewed and did my devotions. In my prayer I did not ask to pass, but I claimed and thank him for the victory he is about to give me.

I attended the review again.. I managed to get the highest points most of the exams (not to brag) as I was inspired to achieve my goal, and prove everyone that think I couldn’t make it again, wrong.

Scheduled day of the exam came again. My mom came with me to the school where I will be taking my test. Last day of the exam, while walking I said to my mom, “ito na ang huling tapak ko sa school na toh.” (This will be the last time I will be stepping/entering this school.) She cried. I asked her why.. She said she was just moved by what I said, and she hugged and kissed me good luck before I entered the school to take the exam. I prayed and thank God for the exam and I really feel light all through out the day. Some friends came to visit and they even noticed something different about me. They said, “iba aura mo ngayon, ang blooming mo.” (you have a different aura. you look blooming) they were so happy and cheered for me, and they knew that I was confident and that I can make it. This is it God!

A few weeks after the exam day, I decided to look for a job at the moment, so my time will not be wasted. and I got hired.

While at work, one of my friends called me. She was really happy, as she told me the good news. I passed! :) Hurray! No words can describe how happy I was that time. My hands were shaking, I wanted to jump for joy. Thank you God! I immediately called my mom and disperse to her the good news. She was also crying for joy.. All my hard work, efforts, paid off. Seeing that tarpaulin in front of our school with my picture in it felt to overwhelming.  My failure taught me a lot. From changing my perspective and in how I look at my failures.

That failure taught me (here are a few):

When you change the way you look at things, and take it positively (no matter what it is) along with God beside you, nothing could go wrong.

Things happen for a reason. You may not know for now, but sooner or later, you’ll see and realize why.

(as I said previously) Failure is not a result but a way of change.

Positive perspective attracts positive outcome.

Failure should not push you away from God, but instead draw you closer to him.

If it did not go as you expected, do not be afraid to try again, and believe you can.

Pray, believe, claim, and you shall receive. :)

I can. I will . I did ♥

Thank you for your time and reading until the end, hope you gained something from this long post of mine. :) God bless you. ♥