#instead of openly developing crushes you just repress so it becomes uncomfortable and scary 😏because you don't understand
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I used to avoid watching wreck it Ralph bc turbo would make me feel new emotions that I couldn’t/refused to process
you and me brother... that's how i was for 7 years and then I let the floodgates open
> Hyperfixation trance state
> Wake up 9 months later in a parking lot
> I'm in a tracksuit covered in dirt and grass stains
> Strong urge to check my computer
> 2-hour video on my hard drive
#txt#wir#turbo#ijm kind of always in a trance state though#ok but in all seriousness i did have a 1-2 week long period of me trying to exposure therapy myself into not being scared of turbo anymore#in October 2023#which was actually quite difficult and he would show up in intrusive thoughts#but then after that I started drawing him (because I did always like him) and then got a disgusting little crush on him#because when you're an ace kid#instead of openly developing crushes you just repress so it becomes uncomfortable and scary 😏because you don't understand#and then those feelings actually stay WITH you until you're an adult. and then you have to work through this really silly trivial thing tha#could end up in an explosion of repressed feelings and emotions that manifest as I NEEED HIM I NEED TO DESTROY HIM I WANT HIM DEAD I HATE H#I also did a shit ton of “”research“” (it was me obsessively crawling tumblr for fanart but it actually was research)#and then I was like. I need to make a video on this guy. I need people to fucking KNOW. MY INSANITY#Obsession is a great motivator#Anyways your ask was very relatable. Everyone has their Turbo awakening
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