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red-doll-face · 4 years ago

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Here is a request for slashers if they're open. My brain does a thing where I am affectionate w a person but if I get nudged away (even if it's just to readjust the position), it goes "oh no. They don't want u to touch them. Do not touch ever again or they will get mad at u. U disgust them." Even tho touch is my love language & it hurts, I just won't touch. If confronted, I will get confused & panicky cuz "u didn't want me to touch? Im respecting ur wishes? Did I miss something?" Its a mess.

Requests are indeed open, I’m sorry I take foreverrr to do these but i hope u enjoy! I don’t know what to call this tho. For simplicity’s sake I’m calling this nervous reader lmao, idk what else to call these.

Slashers x gn nervous Reader

Jason Voorhees:

Jason can very much relate to the feeling. When he first meets you, he’s sure that you’re frightened. He restrains from being too close to avoid coming off as overbearing, doesn't want to touch you because if you flinch he’ll be so hurt. He just assumes he disgusts you. Based on the reaction all of his other victims have when they see him, he’s sure you’ll probably be the same.

Once Jason is sure that you don't feel that way, he’s a cuddle monster. He wants to be close all of the time, holding hands, letting you sit in his lap, you name it. He’s so starved and quickly decides that touch is his love language too. He’s not even sure how he’s lived this long without it.

The only time I can see Jason maybe gently sort of setting you down elsewhere and walking off is when he senses strangers on the property of what once was Crystal Lake. He’s out the door before he can even see your hurt expression, Which is worse because this might lead you to jump to conclusions.

If you distance yourself from Jason, he immediately is thrown off. He can’t directly ask you if he’s done something wrong and when he tries to initiate affection with you and you don’t reciprocate whole heartedly, he’s at a loss.

He’ll get on one knee while you sulk on the couch and give you a silent plea to tell him what's wrong. You can panic and try and avoid it but he is certain there's something going on and he wants so badly to know what he’s done to put you off. You tell him and he immediately is shaking his head no, he could never be mad at you, never be disgusted with you. You’re the most breathtaking person he’s ever had the pleasure of holding, the first, most likely.

Jason nods because he understands how you feel. In the future, he’s persistent about how you feel when he untangles himself from you, making sure you’re ok.

Michael Myers:

In the later stages of your relationship, Michael is insatiable when it comes to being in contact with you. For a long time, towards the start of your relationship, he didn’t like it. It felt weird. All of the touch he's experienced prior was so clinical and sterile that he doesn’t quite know how good touch is supposed to feel. He’s so touch starved that he’s almost positive he doesn't even need it.

Slowly, he builds a tolerance for it, much like one does with alcohol, constantly checking his boundaries and letting him control the situation and he’s all for movie night, huddled up on the couch, or waking up with his head on your chest. His own personal pillow.

There are, however, moments when his need to make someone tremble with fear and then blodgeon them to death with a can opener from their own kitchen becomes too strong, so he tries to keep away from you. In the past, he might have used you to satisfy similar desires of a sexual nature and may have really hurt you but he knows that it’s not always enjoyable to you.

Then, you stop touching him. Much like Jason, he starts to think you’ve become sick of him. Sick of his coldness, his muteness, his withdrawn demeanor. Maybe you’ve moved on and he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care but he doesn't think he can see himself touching anyone but you now.

It gets to the point where he comes home one day and you look heavily troubled, expressions he’s seen on your face before, only in the event that something terrible has happened. You ask to speak to him and he obliges.

You explain that you don’t think this relationship is working, that you’re pretty sure he’s disgusted with you and how difficult this event is because you didn't even want to talk about it but it's been hurting you for too long.

His response is to stand up very slowly, pick you up and lay down with you over him, simply laying there. Hopefully, knowing you’re the one person he would ever allow to participate in this intimacy is enough to show you that you mean more than you think you do to him.

RZ Michael Myers:

This Michael is more perceptive to your touch than his counterpart, your touch sends little shivers down his spine and as soon as he gets pretty used to it, he’s eager for more. This also takes some time but significantly less. He’s enamored with the idea of returning to a somewhat normal life. Your affection grounds him in that fantasy as much as being a murderer might take him out of it.

As he establishes a relationship with you, he may even be the one to start touching you instead of the other way around. He’s read books and always wondered what it might feel like to have someone genuinely touch him without fear in their eyes. Without malice.

An unsuccessful ‘day at work’ might have Michael feeling a little het up though. He can be moody and more rageful. Neither you nor his hobbies can calm him. He seems colder than usual in these states and can come off as very standoffish.

So when you try and touch him and he shrugs your hand off his shoulder, he can’t or isn't in the state of mind to address your frown and worried look. Michael, instead stomps off somewhere to be alone for a while; maybe take his anger out on something else. Some unsuspecting soul or maybe even a poor animal in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After he’s calmed down some, he returns and almost forgot about that sad little gleam in your eye before he left. Michael remembers when he sees you blankly staring at the TV, pointedly avoiding his gaze even as you utter a weak welcome home. It’s not very welcoming. He sits stiffly beside you, watching you from the corner of his eye. You’re closed off from him and he doesn't like it at all.

Migrating towards you slowly, he eases you into a familiar hug, his big bear hugs that are a little tight but inviting all the same. His huge torso and long arms seem to swallow you in his warmth. You hardly reciprocate. You look a little surprised. Though he never addresses it verbally, (which is probably better for you) Michael offers a single glance that communicates everything he needs to say. Don't ever think that again.

Thomas B. Hewitt:

Thomas’ self esteem issues and self image are not good. He honestly doesn’t like to imagine what he looks like to other people unless it can be as a threatening man you don’t fuck with. Meeting you, he realizes that it’s good to protect his family but he’d rather you not see him as someone only capable of harm. Tries his best to get the point across that while Hoyt may be adamant that horrible things happen to you, he’s not going to let them.

Thomas has received affection but always a familial affection. A pat on the back from Monty, proud claps to his shoulders from uncle Charlie, and hugs and kisses from his dear Mother. Nothing so foreign as a strangers touch over his arm or a soft embrace.

Unfortunately, Thomas can get reactive when you attempt to touch him without his mask on. He’s absolutely settled on the false reality that you’ll see his face and immediately decide that you never want to touch him again. Interacting with you with his bare face? That's a no for Thomas.

He puts on his mask that covers the scarred skin over his face and you look dejected. He was preparing for you to pressure him but instead finds himself trying to find out why you won’t touch him now. It’s not his face, is it? You respond with your reasoning. Thomas is so confused. How could you think that you disgust him? That he doesn’t want you to touch him?

He’s quicker than the others and immediately sweeps you up into his arms and holds you as close as humanly possible. Feeling disgusting and like some sort of burden is a feeling he’s so familiar with and if he can take it away from you, he will.

Will aggressively initiate touch with you for the next week or so just to solidify the fact that he cares about you and won't reject you just as you didn’t reject him.

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba is a great cuddle buddy and partner. Hugs are his favorite and he hugs his brother all the time, lifting both Nubbins and Chop Top into the air for some brotherly love. If you’re smaller than them he’s all about picking you up and perhaps a little rough housing with you. He’s careful though or at least there are attempts made to be careful

Bubba, though he could easily spend the whole day doing nothing and everything with you, has work. Chores, butchering. Cooking, and tending livestock. Plenty to do at the sawyer house and he does most of it. Suffice to say there are times when you want to lather attention all over him yet he has to go back to work.

So caught up in work that he doesn't get what's going on til way later, when you’ve had time to stew in your emotions, firmly telling yourself that Bubba is annoyed by you probably. He’s baffled and confused at your silence, your crossed arms. The little furrow in your brow. He can already tell there’s something upsetting you.

Honestly, Bubba is so affectionate I can’t see him being the kind of person even capable of alluding to the fact he might be disgusted by you. How, if all he wants to do is love you? You may bring it up as a joke that you thought he didn’t like you and he almost seems offended. Not like you?

Bubba can squash any feelings you may have about that and then some. He will not let you drown in insecurities, not on his watch. This man will do everything in his power to make you feel beautiful because you really are.

I’m sorry these are super long but thanks for requesting!

#slasher x reader #michael myers #michael myers x reader #halloween #rz halloween movie #rz michael myers #rz michael myers x reader #jason voorhees #jason voorhees x reader #friday the 13th #thomas brown hewitt x reader #thomas brown hewitt #thomas hewitt #bubba sawyer x reader #bubba sawyer #leatherface x reader #texas chainsaw massacre #slashers

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babytsum · 4 years ago

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milkers - rollin'

based on this meme.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: nsfw, smut, drug use (weed), smoking, characters are high, breast worship, praise, oral (f receiving), face sitting, slight dacryphilia (if u squint), slight overstim

(a/n): it was a drabble, but i think i may have lost control

"god, this sucks."

you looked down to your chest, baggy shirt covering your upper body, but it doesn't hide the fact you feel can feel them weighing you down.

suna calls you at the most random times to smoke. during work, during class, just anytime. and if you were free, you would gladly come over, taking some time to put effort into your appearance. you didn't know exactly what prompts you to put on some eyeliner or change into a more flattering top before you head over, but it happens and you don't think much of it.

except for today.

he'd been calling at the wrong times, mostly because you had the willpower to study instead of smoke, but finally your free time aligned with his and you needed it. or maybe you just needed to see him. either way, you still rushed over with no regard to your appearance. what a mistake.

black smudges on your eyelid, no bra, little nubs peaking through the thin material of your shirt, you didn't look flattering at all. but it doesn't matter. you came here for the weed and the weed only, right?

"what's wrong?" rin frowns, taking in the sight of your tired self. for him, seeing you like this was nice to say the least. it seems as if you've gotten comfortable around him and it makes his heart beat a tad bit faster.

on the other hand, you were already feeling the effect of the nearly magical substance that was overcoming your senses and your judgement. your body felt light, almost lifted, and the stress from your exams was dissipating quickly. your mouth opens and your brain doesn't stop the words from coming out.

"i wish my boobs were smaller."

"oh?" his eyebrows were raised, a bewildered expression planted on his face. he took another hit of the joint pinched between his fingers, exhaling to the screen door of his window. you laid on the bed pouting and staring into the ceiling, "what makes you say that?"

"they just kind of look ugly, i guess," your hand came up to your breast, poking the squishy flesh over and over again and you laughed at the way it would jiggle with every small tap. rin, however, felt his pants becoming a little tight. he took a few steps closer to his bed and noticed how he can see more than just the shape of your nipple, but the dark brown color as well. and the way that a particularly hard poke made your breast wiggle a little more than usual. his lips were parted, but his hazy mind is able to gather a response.

"what do you mean ugly?" he asks curiously.

"i don't know," you sigh looking back down at your chest, "they move around too much. it's annoying."

he's puzzled. he's always loved a good pair of boobs, especially yours. rin can't lie to himself and insist that he's never looked before, especially with the flattering tops that sculpted out the shape perfectly. his train of thought is cloudy, and just like you, the filter has disappeared and now everything that comes out of his mouth flows out like a waterfall.

"i like them," he mindlessly states, "i can show you how much, too."

you sit up on his bed, turning your head towards his direction. when did he get so close? he was already leaning down, faces inches from yours, his hot breath fanning over your face, a smirk planted on his lips. you felt small under his gaze, but he wasn't looking at your face.

"then show me, coward." you giggle, brushing it off as a joke. he's close, but he's not serious, right?

you were deadly mistaken.

you were deadly mistaken and you know it when he gently pushes you down onto his mattress, hands making their way under your baggy shirt while he kisses from your stomach back up. "no bra, huh?" an unintelligible word leaves his mouth when your nipple is pinched between his fingers and you're sensitive. you're sure you can feel every single nerve and it all shoots to your core.

he urges you to take your shirt off and you oblige, struggling a bit at first, but he helps because he's nice. rin is nice. he lets you in his room, lets you smoke his weed, lets you lay on his bed while he sucks on your tits.

"fuck, you're so pretty, baby."

you're not sure what exactly feels so good about this, but the small praises that you barely register that come from his mouth everytime he comes up, the vibration of his groans that wrack throughout your body, the hand that kneads the neglected side of your chest. it's all so intoxicating. the sight of his red eyes and his mouth suckling on the wet nub is enough to make your slick to leak through your panties.

his eyes are half lidded, but he maintains eye contact and it's one of the most erotic sights you've seen. he drools all over your breasts, leaving teasing open mouthed kisses, taking one of the little, brown nubs in his mouth. he suckles gently at first and you let out a moan until he works his way up to a soft bite. you barely, just barely, register the pain, but he's making you feel so good and you need more. "i can't believe you wouldn't like these pretty tits," he mumbles, his mouth barely a centimeter away from your chest, "love tasting them."

so your hands tangle in the hair on the back of his head, desperately bringing his mouth closer to your chest because you need more. you need to feel his tongue circle around your sensitive nipple. rin doesn't mind. in fact, he thinks he's enjoying this more than he should be. he's rubbing himself onto the mattress, and though he's fully clothed, this might be one of the hottest ways he has ever gotten off. it's the whimpers that spill from your lips, the nearly whispered mumbles of "more, more, more", and the droopy look of your smudged eyes that do it for him.

when you look at him with heated cheeks and half lidded red eyes that match with his, he creams in his pants and moans loud and clear, letting go of your nipple with a small pop.

when he tries to stand up to change his pants, you flip him over, legs straddling his crotch, his back flat against the bed. his eyes are wide and your cunt is puffy at the image of him underneath you. your hands rest on both sides of his face and he can feel the blood rushing to his groin once again. you lean down, bringing your lips close to his ear.

"thanks, rin."

he groans when you grind your clothed cunt over his hardening cock, your hands tugging at his shirt which is eventually thrown away somewhere in the room. your jeans and soaking underwear are quickly discarded. the friction shoots through your core, but his hands grab your hips, stopping your movement.

"what-" rin doesn't let you finish, quickly pulling your lower body closer to his face. the sudden repositioning makes you squeal and before you can process it, his arms are hooked under your thighs and he's blowing onto your bare cunt. your breath is caught somewhere in your throat and he immediately takes your bundle of nerves in his mouth, sucking gently. your hands grip on the headboard, knuckles turning white.

if it weren't for the fact his mouth was preoccupied at the moment, he would be smirking at the small whimpers that fill the room. the wet muscle circles around your clit before he sucks at it again and you clench around nothing, eyes rolling to the back of your head. your back is arching and it only encourages him to bury his face further into your drooling cunt. his tongue fucks into your entrance, curling deliciously and your hips grind onto his face as you unconsciously search for more friction. though, he doesn't let you do it again, his arms locking your position on his face.

you look cute, he thinks when he's looking above, eyes half lidded. small tears are forming from the corner of your eyes, one hand squeezing your breast, two fingers pinching your nipple, a hand gripping his headboard in desperation for some stability. you taste like candy and he drinks up your slick like a starved man. your head is thrown back and it urges him to pull you up a little more and tighten the grip his arm has on your legs.

"c-cumming now, r-rin," you struggle to form coherent words, your mind is still cloudy and you feel weightless on his pretty face. one particular curl of his tongue hits the spot that sends you reeling into a sense of euphoria, hot pleasure overcoming your senses as your thigh shakes. he laps at your cute, little cunny, attempting to prolong the feeling as much as possible.

it's too much.

and you consider getting off his face, but he locks your position once again. one more, he thinks. he can get out one more. so he keeps on going, sucking and licking without mercy. the lewd squelching sounds he makes with his mouth push you closer and closer to the edge while the cute noises you make shoots to his cock. you're not sure you want him to stop, but when he's back on suckling your little nub with his soft lips, your mind goes blank. and your walls are pulsating around nothing as you cream all over his face.

he finally lets you off, your naked body covered in a layer of sweat, your overstimulated cunny back on the wet spot of his grey sweats. the lower half of his face is covered in your juices. it drips down his chin and you immediately pull his head towards yours, both of you melting into a deep kiss. you can taste yourself on his mouth and your hands palm his hardened cock.

"let me take care of you, rin."

taglist: @nvthvlyy @rintaoreo @shinyaluv

#suna rintarou x reader #suna rintaro x reader #rintarou suna x reader #rintaro suna x reader #stoner!suna #🍓's rollin series #suna rintarou smut #rintarou suna smut #suna rintaro smut #rintaro suna smut #suna smut #suna x reader #suna rintarou x you #suna rintarou x (y/n)#rintarou suna x you #rintarou suna x y/n #🍓.writes

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bibbawrites · 4 years ago

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Can’t Keep My Hands Off You - Owen Joyner x Reader

Request: there’s not enough owen content on this site so i’m begging u to go write for him!! fluff, smut, angst whatever you want! i’ll take any crumb!

Word Count: 1527 words

Summary: you had never been a terribly touchy feely person, until you fell in love with Owen and everything changed...

Warnings: swearing

A/N: couldn’t help myself i had to give you guys another fic tonight lol, i’m smashing these out! not much else to say other than enjoy!

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @molinaroberts @joynersgoatblog @courageous-she @littlemissaddict @gloomybrieyxb @itsyagorlemmalyn @jatpxmultifan @moneybagmgk @emeliii1 @mybradforddream (the strike through means it wont let me tag you)

“Can you stop playing with my hair, I’m trying to concentrate.” You sighed, removing your hands from your boyfriend’s hair. You were sat in a hotel room, on a JATP cast trip to New York, Owen’s head in your lap, watching some musical on the TV. Owen had been chattering non stop about the musical being shown, so the two of you had turned down an offer from Kenny for a cast dinner and instead ordered Uber Eats to the hotel and had curled up to watch the musical.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise I was being annoying.” You responded after a moment of silence. Normally Owen loved having his hair played with when you were relaxing.

“I’m just trying to concentrate and I can’t do that with you braiding or whatever you were attempting to do.” Owen sighed, sitting up. “It wasn’t that you were being annoying baby.”

You nodded, ignoring the look that your boyfriend gave you. A look that made you feel like you were a child who had been reprimanded and Owen was your parent who was feeling slightly guilty for being harsh. But then again, he should feel guilty. You weren’t doing anything wrong.

You picked up your phone as Owen laid back against the headboard. You had a missed text from Savannah, asking you if you wanted to meet up, so you sent a quick text back to say maybe later, before turning your phone off and lying down.

“You tired?” Owen asked. You made a noise in response. You weren’t really, but all you wanted to do was sulk in peace. Owen rolled his eyes, knowing how you could be.

“Hey, I love you.” He said, reaching out and rubbing your back. After a moment of silence you sighed.

“I love you too O.”

And with that you shut your eyes, forcing yourself to fall asleep.

A few days later you encountered an issue again. You and Owen had been sitting in the lobby of the hotel along with Charlie, Jeremy and Carolynn. You and Owen were curled up on a chair, and you were absentmindedly playing with Owen’s hair with one hand and his fingers with the other.

You were completely tuned out of the conversation, and didn’t focus until Owen announced he was going to get a drink. The remaining four watched as he walked away, before Charlie spoke.

“You know you don’t have to touch him all the time Y/N, we’re not gonna try and steal him.” He teased, turning to face you. You rolled your eyes.

“You of all people can’t be commenting on being clingy, Gillespie. Besides, I don’t touch him that much.”

Jeremy and Charlie laughed.

“You sure about that?” Jeremy said between laughs. You didn’t respond.

“Come on Y/N, you’re basically attached to him at all times. If you’re not holding his hand, you’re touching his arm or playing with his hair. He’s not gonna run away if you let him go.”

“Oh hush, I think it’s cute how touchy the two of them are.” Carolynn defended.

You glanced across the room to where Owen was stood, waiting for his drink.

“Do I really touch him that much?” You asked, turning your attention back to the group. They nodded.

“He asked me to stop touching his hair the other night, said it was because he couldn’t concentrate. What if he thinks I touch him too much too?” You could feel your brain beginning to explode with thoughts. Were you being too clingy? Maybe Owen didn’t like being touched... Had you ever asked him that? Were you just invading Owen’s personal space constantly and making him uncomfortable and you hadn’t even asked permission?

You zoned back in when you heard your name.

“Huh?” You asked, noticing Owen had returned.

“I said, do you want to go to the pool now?” Owen repeated.

“Yeah sure.” You stood up, grabbing your water bottle. “You guys coming?” Jeremy, Carolynn and Charlie shook their heads.

“Looks like it’s just you and me then babe.” Owen smiled, reaching out to grab your hand. You pulled your hand away, ignoring the confusion and hurt that appeared on Owen’s face. Clearly you were too hands on, and you needed to take a step back. And if that meant no touching, then so be it.

The indoor pool was empty as you walked into the room, the smell of chlorine filling your nostrils.

“Where should we put our stuff? The place is packed.” Owen joked. You bit your lip, ignoring him. Owen frowned, muttering something under his breath.

You put your stuff down on the nearest chair, pulling your shirt and shorts off and jumping straight into the pool. You let yourself be submerged in the water, before kicking up and glancing at your boyfriend, who was still standing next to the chairs.

“You coming in or are you going to stand there all day?” You asked, treading water.

“Oh so you do know I exist, that’s good to know.” Owen spat, throwing his bag down. You frowned.

“Did I do something wrong?” Owen rolled his eyes.

“The fact that you have to ask that clearly speaks for itself.” He spoke, sitting down on the edge of the pool.

“Okay so tell me then.” You said, trying not to get agitated. Fighting wouldn’t solve anything. Owen was silent. You sighed.

“Or don’t.” You muttered. There was a moment of quiet.

“Why didn’t you hold my hand?” Owen asked, his voice barely loud enough to hear. You paused.

“Because I’m too touchy.” You mumbled.

Owen looked up, frowning. “What?”

You climbed out of the pool and sat down next to your boyfriend.

“It’s because I’m too touchy. Everyone knows it, I can’t keep my hands off you. You said yourself the other night that you didn’t want me touching your hair, and then Charlie told me that I touch you too much and Jeremy and Care agreed, so I decided that I would back off.” You said. Owen rolled his eyes and grabbed your wet hand.

“Y/N, I love you but god you can be a huge fucking dumbass sometimes.” You looked up at him, frowning. Owen smiled.

“I love it when you touch me. When we’re out somewhere and you grab my hand. Or at a meal and you put your hand on my thigh. Or if we’re chilling and you play with my hair or my fingers. I love every minute of it. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression the other night, I just really wanted to concentrate, and when you’ve got your hands in my hair my brain goes to mush.” He lent closer to you. “All I can think of is how much I love you, and how much I want to do this.”

He pressed his lips to yours gently, before pulling away.

“So what I’m hearing is keep touching you?” You whispered softly. Owen nodded.

“Never stop.” You moved away, smiling.

“Can we go in the pool now?” You asked. Owen didn’t respond, he just stood up and pulled his shirt off, tossing it in the direction of the chair, and jumped into the pool. When he resurfaced he looked up at you.

“You coming in or are you going to sit there all day?” He grinned, repeating your words from 5 minutes earlier. You laughed, sliding into the pool and swimming over to Owen, who had moved into the shallower section of the pool where you could stand up with the water reaching your shoulders.

“I love you.” He whispered once you arrived.

“I love you too O.” You replied, leaning in and kissing Owen again. Your bodies pressed together under the warm water, hands roaming each other’s backs.

“God can you not have sex in the pool, other people have to use this thing.” A Canadian voice broke you apart. You looked up to see Charlie, Jeremy and Carolynn standing there, smirks on both of the boys faces.

“Okay, first of all fuck off.” Owen said, his tone sounding annoyed but the glint in his eye giving him away.

“And second of all, clearly you don’t know what sex is if you say this is sex. This was barely first base.” Charlie jumped into the pool with a splash, Jeremy not far behind, leaving Carolynn to curl up on one of the lounge chairs, not wanting to swim just yet.

“Keep telling yourself that bro, but there were tongues in mouths that they do not belong in.” Charlie joked back.

“Oh yeah?” Owen asked, before splashing water at Charlie. The Canadian gasped playfully.

“Fuck that’s it, you’ve started a war Joyner.”

“Bring it Gillespie, you don’t scare me.” The two began splashing again, Jeremy now getting involved in the fight.

You swam over to the shallow end, before climbing out and sitting on the lounger next to Carolynn.

“Do you think they’ll ever grow up?” You asked, as the three boys began wrestling, trying to shove each other under the water.

“No, I don’t.” Carolynn laughed. “But that’s why we love them, right?”

You nodded.

That was why you loved them

#owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner x reader #reader insert #chowen banter #charlie gillespie #jeremy shada #carolynn shada

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years ago

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Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly?

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know.

#answered ask #BTS #vmin #jimin #Vmin vlive

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procrastinatingsapphictrash · 4 years ago

Text

Creative planning

Word count: 2144

Genre: I think a bit of angst mixed with fluff???

Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader

Warnings: Swearing but not much and in a friendly way (let me know if I need to add more)

Request: Can u do natasha x reader where natasha fall in love with the reader because they always have stupid atypical plans that always work. And at first none of the avengers believer that the plan will work but it actually work. That’s it!

Summary: Reader always has creative plans for missions that always work and Nat seems like she doesn’t like them except she actually does and is just bad at feelings.

A/n: So this was requested by @fayhar so I hope you like it but if I’m honest I didn’t follow the request exactly so I’m sorry about that, but I hope you like it anyways. Also sorry this is a few days later than I said but I procrastinated but I’m writing a lot now so hopefully all other requests will be out soon.

You glance around at the rest of the team, biting your lip when all you can see is frustrated faces. It’s your first time making a big suggestion and it is not going over nearly as well as you had hoped. You thought your plan was pretty solid, albeit weird, but the team doesn’t seem to agree.

“We need a real plan, not the plot of some animated action movie meant for kids.” Tony says, his annoyance coming through with his voice.

Clint shoots Tony a look and softly says, “Y/n, I know you’re trying to help but Tony is right, this doesn’t seem realistic.”

“I agree,” Natasha interjects, “anyone have any more viable plans?” The room is silent after that and you can tell everyone is thinking hard. You’re trying to help as well but your mind is consumed with doubt. Although it wasn’t the most conventional plan, you really thought it could work but they thought it childish. Clint was the nicest to you about it but that’s only because he saw you as a kid he had to protect. You loved being a part of the team but sometimes it was hard to prove yourself when you were both the youngest and newest avenger. You rack your brains trying to come up with a new plan but your mind keeps getting stuck on what you already came up with. It was different from what the team normally did for sure, but you just knew it could work.

“I know you shot it down already but please consider what I’ve suggested,” you speak up, “it’s different but I think it will work. Besides it’s not like anyone else has any great ideas.”

While they don’t seem to accept your plan right away this time they seem to give a little more thought. Wanda whispers something to Steve and you can see Natasha and Clint exchange looks.

Finally Steve speaks up. “Y/n is right, maybe not about the plan but we don’t have any other ideas. I think this is our best change against Hydra for now.”

“Hydra is a formidable enemy whose goal is to control the world and you expect us to follow a plan that is completely ridiculous.” Natasha argues harshly. You struggle not to let any emotion show because you knew you had to appear strong but what Natasha thinks means a lot to you, so it hurt she had absolutely no confidence in your plan. You have always admired her a lot and if you were to be truthful you’ve always had a little bit of a crush on her.

“This plan does seem a little out there,” Wanda interjects, “but maybe that’s what we need for this mission, Hydra won’t be able to predict it.”

“Ok,” Tony agrees, “what the hell, let's do it.”

Fifteen exhausting hours later and you were all on a jet heading back to the compound. Even though it had been one of the hardest and most tiring missions you had been on to date you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that you were the one that helped the team out.

“Good job Y/n!” Steve praises seeing your grin so you smile back even harder and go to respond when you hear a scoff from the other side of the jet. Natasha is sitting there and although her face betrays nothing, everyone who heard knows it’s her. You don’t know why she hates your plan even though it worked but although it bothers you, you try to brush it off, as Steve squeezes your shoulder in silent support. Even when Natasha exits the jet and heads straight to her room without a word to anybody you manage to keep a smile while talking with a few of the other avengers before you get too exhausted and decide to call it a night.

As you lie in your bed after you showered and were drifting off you think about the day. You understood the lack of confidence in your crazy plan at first but you finally feel like you proved yourself and showed why you were asked to join the avengers. You also question Natasha’s dismissal of your success but you can never tell what she’s thinking so you brush that aside and fall into a peaceful sleep, optimistic about what is to come.

---

“Hey Y/n can you look over the plans for the next raid?” Tony asks, shoving some papers in your hands as you walk past him in the hall.

“Of course!” You respond cheerfully, taking the papers and continuing to make your way into the common room. It had been around ten months since you had first helped create a plan and ever since then the other had been turning to you for help with stuff like this and you became known for coming up with the craziest ideas that always ended up working.

When you got to the common room you plopped yourself on the couch and started brainstorming beside the only other occupant of the room, Natasha. Out of all the avengers you were still slightly wary of her. You admired her a lot (not to mention kinda wanted to kiss her) but although she didn’t seem to hate your plans as much as she first did she didn’t seem to like them either. You did your best to impress her especially when she would help train you but sometimes it got discouraging because she never seemed to care that much. She was also the only avenger you didn’t consider yourself friends with, which is why you were fairly surprised when she spoke up.

“What are you working on?”

“I’m just reviewing the mission plans for our raid of the Hydra base in a few days, Tony did a pretty good job though, so I won’t change much.” You respond honestly.

“None of your weird ideas?” She asks.

“Probably not, don’t worry,” you say laughing slightly although you don’t feel like it, “I’m just going to see if Steve has any ideas, see you later.” You leave the room in a bit of a rush, making sure you have all the plans. Natasha watches you go with a frown. She can tell she offended you when she asked that but she was just meaning to tease because although she was skeptical at first, she now really loves your plans.

While she unhappily stares into the hallway you left through, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to see Clint hanging upside down from the vent.

“What’s wrong Nat?” He asks.

“Y/n thinks I hate her. Or at least that I think she’s stupid.”

Clint laughs. “Once she gets to know you I’m sure that will change. Remember how long it took for the others to warm up to you?”

“But I like her and I want her to like me now!” Natasha replies in a tone that has a small whine to it.

“So you like her, no biggie,” Clint says, “eventually you’ll become friends. WAIT-do you mean you like her, like you want to date her?” Natasha doesn’t respond and instead just nods, looking away from Clint.

“You know it may seem complicated but just be nice to her and give her compliments out loud instead of in your head.” Clint advises.

“You know I think that’s the only helpful thing you’ve ever told me,” Natasha jokes, wanting to change the topic, “when did you get so good at this?”

“Well I do have a wife after all,” Clint answers, “maybe you should trust me on this.”

The past month has been confusing to say the least. You brush your hair in the mirror, wanting to look presentable for when you were having dinner with Natasha later because she randomly asked you to. It isn’t a date or anything, in fact you don’t know why you’re doing this because all she said is that she wanted to talk to you, but the idea of eating dinner along with her makes you nervous. This was the first time the two of you were going to do something without any of the others. At first she didn’t seem to like you at all but recently you noticed a huge change in the way Natasha was acting towards you. She seemed to actively seek you out to spend time together and started complimenting you more, especially on your ideas relating to avengers missions. You take a glance at your watch and decide to head down to the kitchen to meet up with Nat. The whole way down you can feel your entire body almost shaking with nerves but you push it aside.

“Hey Y/n,” Natasha says softly upon your entry, “I made us some pasta, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I’ll never turn down pasta.” You respond while smiling and grabbing a plate.

“Great,” she says, looking a little relieved, “Are you good to just eat at the counter?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I, I’m not the queen.” You answer her, laughing slightly. She mumbles something under her breath but you can’t hear it properly.

“What was that Tasha?” You ask her.

“Nothing.” You look down at your food and both of you lapse into silence. Neither of you speak for what feels like an hour but was probably closer to ten minutes before you start to get a little annoyed.

“Are you going to speak?” She stares at you and doesn’t answer. “Well are you? Because you said you wanted to talk to me but now that I’m here you don’t say anything. Not to mention I can’t even tell if you like me or not.” She seems surprised by your outburst but you can’t find it within yourself to care. It was all true you had no clue what she thought about you with her acting cold towards, then suddenly switching to being nice and as much as you liked her you would much rather just know what she thought than be constantly confused.

“I do like you.” She says after a few moments of very awkward silence. “I just don’t know how to talk to you properly.”

“You didn’t know how to talk to me???” You ask, completely shocked.

“Yes,” she replies honestly, “at first I just didn’t talk to you because I didn’t like you-”

“Ouch.” You interrupt and she rolls her eyes at you.

“Anyways as I was saying,” she takes a pause to playfully glare at you, “the reason why I didn’t like you was because unlike everybody else you were unpredictable and I don’t like not being in control. You are just so different from people I’m used to-I mean this in a good way, like how you always have super creative plans.”

“Oh wow that’s not what I was expecting at all,” you tell her, “I just thought you hated me.” She nods looking remorseful.

“Sorry, at the very start I may have but honestly that’s the last impression I wanted you to have of me. If you can’t tell recently I’ve been trying harder to be more open.”

“I have noticed actually and although I was a bit confused by the sudden change it was nice.” Natasha smiles at that and sits up a little taller before shrinking back down and biting her lip.

“For the sake of honesty, there was another reason I didn’t like you much,” she pauses to take a deep breath, “you made me feel things, things I can usually control.” You can’t believe what you are hearing right now and think you must be dreaming because unless you are interpreting things very wrongly it sounds like Natasha is confessing feelings for you.

“Tasha,” you say slowly, “you have feelings for me?” She nods and you can’t even begin to process it. You must have been silent for too long because she stands up and starts to move away.

“I’m sorry Y/n, we can drop it if you want just please say something.”

“No, we are not dropping this,” you say seriously, watching Natasha’s face drop as you inwardly smirk, “at least not until you take me on a date first.”

“You’re an asshole.” Natasha deadpans before coming over to hug you. “I will definitely take you on many dates.”

She’s true to her word and two days later you find yourselves cuddled in your bed after having dinner at a restaurant. She’s spooning you, pressed up against your back and you can tell by her breathing that she’s almost asleep.

“So you like my plans?” You ask cheekily, remembering your conversation from last night.

“I love your plans,” She responds before planting a kiss to the top of your head that nearly makes your heart melt of happiness, “even if you are an asshole sometimes.”

#natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #avengers #mcu #marvel fanfiction #avengers x reader #fanfiction #x reader

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spinster-sisters · 3 years ago

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ohh okay! so to kick it off, can we get ateez members’ reactions to their very successful partner taking them to a company party like their trophy wife/husband/partner — not in a derogatory way tho!! but just like,, flaunting the members around and going on about how handsome and hardworking and amazing they are, even though everyone’s attention should be on their partner in that big event?

This is very different from the stuff I normally write but honestly I had so much fucking fun doing it. Like genuinely this made me smile like an idiot the whole time.

Hongjoong:

It's ur birthday or sum shit, but here's the dealio, he had some big work promotion at some smaller company. Most people haven't heard of it and it's nothing like the major corporation you work for so most people there just think of him as your trophy husband cuz he's so good-looking. while the party and presents were for you, you just could stop bring up how proud you were of him. He would immediately shut it down every time you brought it up, "yeah thank baby, I appreciate it. Hey, guys don't you think my baby is beautiful tonight?" Just won't let it distract from your attention no matter how much you bring it up. He doesn't think that he should be praised for doing what he should be doing. It's a nice sentiment and it makes him giggle but he wishes you would just let the guests congratulate you.

Seonghwa:

It's some work party on your behalf at your home. And Seonghwa planned the whole thing. Your not gonna deny you were just looking for a hot husband with social perks (read: rich parents and rich friends) but after meeting Seonghwa you genuinely fell so hard and so fast for how humble he was despite his wealthy upbringing, and you wanted to work even harder to provide him with the lifestyle he had always had at home. And he is happy to fulfill his house husband role for his doting partner. So yall are just happy and in love. Everyone at the party is your coworker and honestly, he would probably have just been your arm candy under any other circumstances, except you keep reminding people how great of a job he did getting everything set up. From a 5-star catering company to a live band, to imported wine from somewhere fancy, the whole thing took him weeks to put together and you will be dammed if he doesn't get the recognition for a job well done. He takes the praise blushing and mumbles quiet thank yous to all you and all guests who praise him, but he leaves it at that. If they ask him questions about the things around him he will keep his answers short and minimal yet polite before slipping away. Despite planning it, it isn't his party and he wants to keep it that way.

Yunho:

it's actually your friend's launch party for something or other. But you had a fair amount to do with the starting of the company as an investor and your friend had wanted to honor you as much as her. But here's the thing. Yunho's also pretty fucking cool, he doesn't have a permanent job, instead, he bounces around to all kinds of random things to keep himself entertained instead of just being at home all the time. the entire fucking time you're like "oh but have you heard what Yunho's been up to lately." He tries to one-up you with praise. Every time you say something cool he does, he brings up something cool you have done. And it just gets more and more intense as the night goes on to the point where the other giggles just fucking giggle cuz yall are so obvious in love.

Yeosang:

Yalls wedding is gonna be the social event of the year. You both come from very prominent families, but Yeosangs family got their money from fame not business. So when yall got engaged there was quite a bit of gossip about how "real" the relationship even was. Who the "throphy" was would change based on who you asked and it was getting annoying reading all the headlines. It was your wedding shower, and it was no secret that most of the people there were there for you and not him, but he couldn't care less. People kept coming up to you trying to talk business, and you were endlessly shutting them down because this was a day for both you and your soon to be husband, not for social climbers to try and get on your good side. The wonderful thing about Yeosang however is how much he can read you emotions even when you are trying to hide them. His course of action was simple. You both just fucking leave. You both had already talked to your actual friends and at a certain point you couldn't be bothered to keep up appearances with people who didn't respect both of you equally. So you left. Probably went and got some food in your cocktail attire. Much better use of time anyway.

San:

You're some kind of model or something. So it's like fashion week. So the whole time u have cameras shoved in your face and are being followed everywhere you go. But ur mans San is also incredibly beautiful, so you play a little game where whenever you go out all you do is put on sweats and a hoodie and you bring him out with him dressed in full fashion week regalia so the photographers are fucking confused who they are supposed to be taking pictures of. He thinks it's funny ao he plays along, wearing whatever you put him in and posing dramatically for literally every photo he can. You two go through the posted photos absolutely howling at them all night.

Mingi:

Your some big-time producer and Mingi is this like an underground rapper. Yall have been together long before you ever made it big and back before you got the job you lived almost exclusively off Mingi's part-timejob. But now the turntables have flipped and he can live mostly of your income allowing him to focus on his music and yall wouldn't have it any other way. But here's the shit. Some dopey fucking pop star you produce for comes over for dinner and makes a "joke" about mingi being a freeloader and you get so fucking petty. Especially after seeing Mingi's dejected face. So basically you help mingi produce a professional track and release it legitimately and not just on SoundCloud or in some shitty nightclub, and it fucking blows up way more than the other person music ever did and you just do nothing but talk up how amazingly talented Mingi is to your boss and he gets signed after the other person is dropped from the label. It's a great time.

Wooyoung:

Allow me to paint you a picture(this is a pun just wait for it.) Your an artist 😃 and Wooyoung is your husband and your muse. Almost everything you paint is either of him or reminds you of him. And your opening this big art exhibit and it's just this super fancy cocktail party with all the art snobs in the city and of course you bring him. As soon as yall walk in people immediately notice he's the guy in all the paintings and you're just like "yes isn't he stunning" and he's like "yes I am stunning" he's only half kidding. Whenever you go on and on to some art blogger about your muse he just sits there drinking it in with a smirk on his face, occasionally adding things like how you owe your success to his beautiful face. In that case, he's completely kidding cuz he knows damn well your talented enough to make anything beautiful with or without him.

Jongho:

ima say you married rich. You didn't have much growing up but Jongho has done nothing but spoil you. Despite the fact he came from a big business family, singing has always been his passion. When you begin to work in his father's company you rise through the ranks alarmingly quick due to your skill. It's some party for your father in laws retirement and everyone coming up to you betting your gonna be the next CEO. Here the thing though, Jongho left the company not long after you joined, so he could pursue singing and most people there haven't seen him since then and they keep giving him side-eyes, clearly thinking he threw his life away and he's just gonna be your "trophy husband" for the rest of his life. Not on your watch homie. You expected this so you and your supper supportive father-in-law set aside time for him to perform to the whole room and you're standing there all proud and satisfied as all your coworkers are dumbfounded at his amazing talent.

#ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #ateez au #ateez timestamp

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

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Five Things that Probably Happened between Levi and Hange (An attempt to break down the romantic development between the two based on canon events and hints)

Just wanted to break down a slow burn, best friend to lovers relationship, through meta instead of through fanfiction based on how I’ve seen relationships develop between people who are too busy or inexperienced to know what is happening.

1. Although no one would generally be touchy in the military, one event may have made them realize it’s okay to at least be touchy between them.

The event most likely would have been an injury where one had to treat the other. The importance of this is that without much talking or relationship meta analysis (because they’re unaware fucks) both of them are able to realize that they are comfortable doing things together and they are completely comfortable touching. This event probably happened before canon because Levi has shown to be pretty touchy to Hange already and he does bathe her.

2. They started sharing food, clothes etc.

This could still be considered canon if the jacket thing is real. Hange and Levi hang out in each other’s rooms to talk. It was mentioned in canon that Hange is Levi’s closest friend and when he’s sad he goes to her and probably it works the other way too. A lot of things would be left in each other’s rooms. Possibly the black jacket in season 2 is something Hange left behind in his room a while back because she’s scatterbrained and Levi decided to wear it after his injury. (coz u know they’re just friends)

3. They started to do remotely suggestive things as a joke.

I’m talking about Hange biting a cookie which is already in Levi’s mouth as a playful act and Levi’s crude humor developing into jokes about sex, particularly with Hange because he likes crude humor.

4. They started to realize they are all they have left.

Suddenly, they’re always together because publicly they’re both the most senior members of the survey corps so it’s only natural and privately they become each other’s emotional crutches especially without Moblit, Mike or Erwin there to mediate anything between them. Because of this everything goes into overdrive --- the touchiness, the clothes sharing and the suggestive jokes in between military discussions and conversations.

They are too unaware or too inexperienced to know what exactly this is and even when they do start to understand what is happening, their responsibilities take precedence.

5. They started to understand what it was but they never confessed.

One day, this suddenly clicked. Maybe it started to click over a long period of time for both of them.They were both aware of the other’s feelings but they were in doubt about what the other was thinking. Not wanting to break the vagueness of the relationship for fear of having to tackle the problem of whether or not it is appropriate, the two chose to remain silent.

When Levi gets injured and although Hange admits she would rather have lived there with him, I think that Hange’s position as commander stopped her from saying something more direct.

From experience, denial and delusion usually work because people do not say how they feel out loud. I’m sure most of us have experiences where we are particularly attracted to or are particularly annoyed by someone, but are able to delude ourselves into thinking it’s just a phase or a heat of the moment thing because we never say it out loud. The moment we write how we feel down or put it into words regardless of whether or not people see it, it becomes a reality and my HC is that that was what they were avoiding which explains the vagueness of their words and actions.

In this sense, Levi and Hange were both masters of delusion and the professional relationship and responsibilities which came with them made it so easy for those two to run away from the truth. Levi on his end, refused to interpret it as anything else but her being tired because he on his end, was working on his own delusion campaign.

So why did nothing too romantic happen in Chapter 132?

She would have destroyed that nice little delusion bubble for both of them and would she have been able to sacrifice her life? No she wouldn’t. If Hange knew that a life with Levi was waiting for her after the war, she would not have been able to sacrifice herself, and arguably, maybe the alliance would not have been able to escape. If Levi and Hange knew a happy life was waiting for them with the other, they probably would have actually considered living in the forest, as OOC as it would have seemed.

What makes the survey corp soldiers so effective as fighters and titan fodder is the fact that to a degree, they have accepted their deaths and part of accepting it is deluding oneself into thinking there is not much to live for beyond what the survey corps offers. I mean, Erwin thought about this too a lot, since he did have a history with Nile and Marie which he chose to give away when he joined the survey corps.

Because of that, I believe that Levi and Hange being the two longest survivors in the survey corps, were masters of delusion, that delusion that brought about the success of the survey corps and the tragedy of what could have been one of the best canon relationship developments of all time.

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levi x hange #ship #tundrainafrica

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asthmark · 4 years ago

Text

❝ walk you home ❞ l.dh

synopsis → “it’s just a suggestion but you could maybe put your lips on mine?”

request → “hi ive reading your works and honestly thank u for being a blog that doesn’t write smut. i feel like there are so few blogs like so. all your works make my heart feel fluffy and warm 😊 i was wondering if i could request a fluffy prompt kinda based off the nct dream song: walk you home with haechan? you have full creative freedom ❤️ thank u”

word count → 1.6k

you didn’t walk home often but when you did it always proved to be a peaceful and serene experience.

you take pleasure in the sound of the pavement beneath your feet as your legs carry you home and your hands hold on tightly to the straps of your backpack. the calm breeze blows some of your hair around and the sun’s rays shine down on you delightfully.

you decide it can’t get much better than this.

but, of course, you can’t have anything nice.

you realize this when you feel a pair of hands grasp your shoulders firmly resulting in you effectively jumping out of your skin with a loud shriek.

the culprit, none other than lee donghyuck, laughs as he watches you place your hands on your knees, trying to steady your racing heart.

“not funny, donghyuck!” you punch his arm to express your frustration. “you almost gave me a heart attack, for christ’s sake!”

he holds up his hands in defense. “okay, okay. i’m sorry. i was messing around, i thought it’d be funny.”

“oh right because sneaking up on a girl walking home alone and making her think she’s going to be kidnapped is just hilarious.”

“i really didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, genuinely. “i came here for a reason, i swear.”

you raise your brows, expectantly.

“i was just thinking i could maybe walk you home?”

you observe the way he tugs gently at the string of his hoodie, almost as if he were nervous. but why would he be nervous in front of you? you were just his best friend’s little sister.

“you want to walk with me?”

he nods in confirmation.

you play with your shirt collar, not entirely sure what to say. “that’s fine, i guess.”

with that, you continue on your route not even waiting for donghyuck who jogs to catch up to you. despite your houses being only a couple blocks away from each other, you and donghyuck had never walked anywhere together. at least, in your high school years.

when you were all much younger, him and your older brother mark would almost always walk to the bus stop together. your mother had you tag along with them and your tiny figure would often be seen trailing behind them, trying your best to keep up.

as you grew up, many things begun changing. most notably, the way you felt about donghyuck. before, all you had seen him as was mark’s obnoxious friend who pestered you relentlessly. but you had finally realized how cute and charming he truly was. you started to enjoy the way he teased you as long as it meant you had his attention. it wasn’t long before mark noticed your change in attitude and connected the dots. it was easy to say he was displeased. first of all, having you follow donghyuck all the time like a shadow proved to be very irritating. second of all, his best friend and his little sister together was something he didn’t want to even think about.

when he commented about your strange behavior to donghyuck, the boy had only said he didn’t mind it. in fact, he seemed to enjoy your little antics.

mark realized had no other choice but to take matters into his own hands. so, he sat you down one evening to have a chat with you and he certainly had no problem lying straight to your face.

“donghyuck hates you,” he had said.

you had stopped stroking your dolls hair to stare at him with eyes as big as saucers. “w-what?”

“yeah. he told me. he thinks you’re super annoying.”

and just like that, your little heart had been broken. you remember crying for hours that day and begging your mom to drive you to school so you wouldn’t have to face donghyuck in the mornings. mark even suggested that you avoid him at school too so that he wouldn’t find you anymore unpleasant than he already did. you obeyed and soon enough your trio had broken up.

ever since then, you had stayed in your own lane away from lee donghyuck who, according to your older brother, could not stand you.

“so... what’s up with you? i feel like it’s been so long since we caught up.”

you sigh, kicking at a pebble on the sidewalk. “i’m pretty okay.”

he waits, expecting you to add on. he clears his throat awkwardly when he realizes you’re not going to. you had been so talkative during your childhood, what happened? “oh, that’s good.”

for the sake of clearing the tension, you force yourself to ask him how he’s doing. “what about you?”

his face brightens up. “i’m doing good! well, grade-wise no. actually, maybe? i have straight c’s which is technically passing but not super good, you know? but other than, i‘m not bad. i finally tried out for a basketball team. remember how when we were younger i always wanted to play but they told me i was too short?”

“i remember a lot of things from when we were younger,” you mumble, bitterly.

he continues, dismissing your comment. “yeah well, i finally grew! i’m actually three inches taller than the average male. isn’t that crazy?”

you’re not entirely sure how to respond so that you just nod and try to give him the most sincere smile you can muster. “good for you.”

“hey, didn’t you want to take art classes when we were kids? but your parents made you do ballet instead?”

you hesitate as the memory registers in your brain. “yeah. i did, actually.”

donghyuck chuckles. “you were so mad. and then you ended up not even taking it. i’m pretty sure it was because you threw a huge tantrum outside your house.”

you titter at the embarrassing memory. “i totally forgot about that. you must have a crazy good memory.”

he shrugs. “kind of. but i think my favorite one has to be when you tried sneaking out of your bedroom window but you fell and ended up with a fractured ankle.”

your eyes dart to him. “oh my god, how do you know that? did mark tell you? because i swear if he did i’m gonna—”

“it wasn’t him.”

“then who was it?”

he suddenly becomes shy. “i, um, heard you telling your friends about it.”

“you were eavesdropping?”

he fiddles with his earring, nervously. “i guess. but i swear it wasn’t to be creepy—”

“sounds pretty creepy to me, donghyuck.”

he sighs in defeat. “i just wanted to hear your voice.”

you stumble over nothing. “i’m sorry, what?”

“you’re never around me anymore,” he says, sounding hurt. “i know you’re avoiding me. and i don’t know why. but i still try to be close to you without upsetting you. i try to meet your eyes when you pass by in the hallway, i try to go by your house as much as i can so i can catch a glimpse of you. but it never works.”

ever since mark had told you how donghyuck felt about you, you swore to yourself you would stop caring about him. although, at this moment, you can’t help but feel slightly guilty. you try to come to your senses.

“i thought i was annoying,” you mumble.

he squints his eyes. “what? who said that?”

you stop dead in your tracks. “you’re kidding right? you did! you said i was annoying and that you hated me.”

he stares off into the distance, trying to concentrate. “i really don’t remember saying that to you.”

“you didn’t. you told mark. mark told me. i never forgot it.”

“okay, i definitely didn’t say anything like that to mark. the only thing i remember telling him was—“ he stops, abruptly.

you press further. “what did you tell him, donghyuck?”

“that i had a crush on you.”

it takes you a moment to process the words that come out of his mouth. “are you messing with me?”

he scowls. “no! it took a lot of guts, i remember being so nervous to tell him. i thought he would tell you for me but i guess he said the complete opposite.”

strangely enough, you believe him. you decide to confess too. “well... i had a crush on you too.”

now it’s his turn to be stunned into silence. “seriously?”

“yes! i thought it was so obvious.”

“i would have never known.” he runs a hand through his hair. “just imagine what would have happened if mark had told either of us how the other felt. why do you think he lied about all that stuff, anyway?”

“knowing him, he couldn’t stand the thought of his little sister and best friend liking each other so he tried to keep us apart by lying and hoping we’d just forget about each other or something. what an idiot.”

“jokes on him if he thinks i would forget you. we might’ve been like 12 but i was ready to commit.”

you chuckle. “and how about now? still willing to?”

he smiles, pearly whites on display. “always.”

##bonus:

you stop at the front steps of your house, turning to donghyuck and grinning from ear to ear. “well, thanks for walking with me. i’m glad we finally got things sorted out.”

he nods. “i’ve missed you.”

you bite your lip. “i’ve missed you, too.”

he ruffles your hair. “you’re still super adorable, by the way.”

“and you’re still super—“ you run your fingers over the smooth skin of his cheeks before squeezing them. “annoying.”

he pouts. “that was mean.”

you place your hands on his shoulders. “sorry, cutie. i couldn’t help it.”

“make it up to me?”

“and how would i do that?”

“it’s just a suggestion but you could maybe put your lips on mine?”

you smile, more than happy to follow through with his instructions. as you lean in, you feel your inner little girl get the best of you. your heart speeds up and you hold your clammy hands together tightly behind his head.

“what is going on here?!”

you both jump back from each other to face mark standing in the doorway of your house. he wastes no time dashing down the stairs, coming straight for the brunette beside you.

“lee donghyuck, i’m going to strangle you!”

at hearing the pure anger in mark’s voice, donghyuck’s face drops. he presses a quick kiss to your lips. you don’t even have time to feel any form of surprise because before you can even register what was happening, he’s making a run for it with mark right behind him.

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diver-up · 4 years ago

Note

Please go off about endgame if you want to I’m still SO MAD about it but I feel like most people are over it. I just wanna hear more people point out how bad it was

hmmmm this is just based on what i remember cuz i literally saw it once when it came out & never watched it again. but id love the opportunity to roast it so after some thought heres what i didnt like:

-giving tony stark a kid just to kill him off for shock value

-the entire resolution to cap’s storyline... robbing peggy of the life she built w/out him so he could get the girl in the end 😍even tho his entire arc is like. abt being a man out of time and having to grapple w/ that and move on w/ his life. like ur telling me after the relationships he formed w/ natasha and sam and ntm everything he did to find bucky and bring him back he’s just gonna fuck off and live a separate life w/out them?? no

-like i get they wanted to like write steve out of the films & make sam the new cap but like i said in my other post. steve shouldve just died instead of tony and passed on the shield then and there it’s more meaningful than w/e those 2 plot points above are

-killing off natasha instead of clint. this one ties in w/ a lot of other things i dont particularly like ab how they treated clint/nat in the mcu to begin w/ (like nat hating herself bc she cant have kids, giving clint a random wife n kids for no reason, the implication that nat’s life is intrinsically worth less BC clint has a wife n kids... w/e just clint’s family and steve’s resolution just rly pushes a weird het family values whatever thing). im not getting into this ever tho bc im not invested anymore and also i dont have the energy for it. also mcu clint was never gonna have what comics clint had anyway

-thor’s fat isn’t that a funny joke :)

-blink and youll miss it “gay representation” feat. one nameless random character saying husband Once in a sentence. i want more characters to casually drop that they’re gay and move on w/out companies acting like it’s the pinnacle of representation or w/e. it’s bare minimum at best but u STILL have writers and directors like, talking ab how meaningful it was to put it in the script. but they rly hyped up the fact that EG would have gay rep and im still annoyed abt it. try harder

-the girl power moment in the final fight.. when i think abt it i just envision the writers sitting together and patting themselves on the back for how Empowering and #feminist it was

-all the shit they did to avoid spoilers lmao. when ur more invested in plot twists & shocking ur audience and w/e instead of like, good writing - esp to the point where even ur ACTORS are in the dark - it shows.

EG was hyped up to be like this epic and thrilling and badass conclusion to the mcu movies before it but i remember for like the first half of the movie i kept checking my phone to see what time it was like every 10 min 😪and all i remember abt it is what i didnt like bc it really WAS 3 hours of nothing which gave me plenty of time to mull over everything i hated. i rly liked marvel comics as a kid but i literally saw this movie once n never thought abt marvel again

#long post #ask to tag #this is so long but i just realized i never had an outlet to complain cuz my friends liked it so all of this was pent up 😩😪#im POSITIVE theres more but thats just what i remember

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peeterparkr · 4 years ago

Text

perfidy;tom holland|16

chapter 16: the closeup

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits

chapter summary: tom and y/n get close

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: fluffy, smut (skip the *), angst, New York

word count: 8.2k

here’s a playlist

and here’s another one

and here’s another one inspired by 1D

social media before you read (IMPORTANT FOR THE CHAPTER) :

tweets, instagram and texts: y/n and Tom are absent in social media

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

Hi!

It hurts to think that two people love each other and yet they never knew. That was the thought invading your head. They say unrequited love hurts, and it does, you had lived your whole life believing your love was one sided, and boy, had it hurt. You couldn’t deny every sleepless night, every heartbeat skipping, and you’d never deny every tear you had shedded. But realizing it had always been reciprocated and never knowing about it, because life liked to be a bitch… well, that’s just stupid. It sounded so cliche, though. The guy had always been in love with her.

You first love ever, which, by the way he knew, loved you back. But did he? You had trouble deciding it. But somehow, you believed it. Not sure if you believed it because of the situation or because you wanted to believe it. Still.

It hurt. Because had all those tears been for nothing? Or maybe they meant more now. It was so… not what you had expected.

Maybe it had been what you had always wanted but never expected. A secret wish.

But now that you had it, you didn’t want it.

Did it make sense? No. Not at all.

Except it did, in a way, or that’s what you were trying to figure out as you felt an unequivocal heartbreak. But why did this hurt?

Because even if he loved you, even if he had loved you, there had been a stronger force pulling him away from you.

A force that you knew looked very much like Tom and went by the name of Harry.

You didn’t want to blame it on Harry. And maybe that’s why you’d shut Tom off when he’d tried to explain, because you had felt it coming, the unexplainable fear of him saying: I was just protecting my brother.

And you had been protecting Harry, too.

Because it hurt, too. But you didn’t want to think about that. Not now. You didn’t want to think of the very complicated feelings you had once had towards Harry, which were very much alike to the feelings you’d once had towards Timothee. Knowing that it would’ve the best. But the heart wants what it wants. And your heart wanted that entitled moron that had been an arrogant idiot throughout his whole life but now, apparently had always had feelings for you.

You really had to think about Tom right now.

Your mind was helping with that, it had decided to hurt you in ways that you hadn’t been hurt before, your mind was roaming back to moments that proved he hadn’t loved you. Why were you trying to convince yourself of that? Why did your mind have to go back to your childhood when he’d push you off the swings, or to other moments, like him pushing you in the hallway, or him making fun of your braids, or your shoes or whatever he came up with that day.

Which had you already questioning yourself, why did you fall in love with such a dickhead? This was to blame on you. But oh, who wouldn't fall in love with him? The whole world was at his feet, it made sense you were in love with him.

Well, it made sense now, but back then? The scrawny annoying kid who never shut up. God, with that smile and the way he looked at you.

Why were you trying to shut down your feelings now that you knew that he possibly loved you back? He had said it, right? He’d always been in love with you.

Why were you trying to deny it?

Or maybe you were trying to deny your own feelings.

You had both fallen quiet after you had stopped dancing, your hands hesitated when he had offered you his hand, he then offered his arm instead. You took it, and you didn’t want to let go. Not now. Not never.

And then your mind was reminding you of how all of this hard started. Revenge.

But was it, really? Revenge? It seemed now like a faint memory, now the script was barely following your path, and you knew it had turned into something beautiful. You’d like the back and forth you were doing, it did have some potential. Starting with a significant event, based on your pain, on the damned yellow flowers. Which of course, you’d changed to a bouquet of lavenders. And then going backwards to what lead to it, building it down to the so childhood enemies you were, and the second timeline which was built to where you were standing now.

It was good. An 80’s based love story, coming of age type of series. Changing a little bit the story so they’d be teenagers and have them roll around with shenanigans.

The story of William, Tom.

And Valerie, you.

Two teenagers who hated each other.

You walked with him, and it felt different. Somehow the people who had danced on the street were strangers to you. Because you saw Tom and you saw yourself and you didn’t feel like the children you once had been. Sure, there was a faint reminder of that scrawny guy you’d known your whole life with his silly comments and his overflowing energy. But… it wasn’t the same. To think that the—monster you had grown to know had never been one? Or he had, but only as a facade.

However, it could be an act… but you were sure it wasn’t. Not from him.

And not from you, either. Even if sometimes it felt like one.

But now you saw his eyes, begging for forgiveness, tender and light. Eyes pleading you to say those words back.

He was in love with you. And it… hurt. Why must it hurt?

You stopped him before you got close to the hotel, the city felt like it was only for you. The lights were only a blurred memory now, you barely saw any stars. But it was still amazing, nothing mattered. The buzzing streets fell quiet, and the only light that mattered was that streetlight where you were standing by. He looked sad, too.

It was bizarre. But you gave him a quick kiss, that told him it was alright. It would be, eventually. You liked to believe that. And seeing him there with those sympathetic eyes, and that gentle and tender smile, drove you completely insane.

But damn, you couldn’t put a price to the emotions you were feeling, it felt unethical and wrong. And quite confusing, actually. But the script was the least that mattered to you as you were trying to sketch the path your own heart was following.

You knew it would still be different, throughout all of this.

“Do we have a verdict?” He asked as you walked into the hotel.

“I’m still deciding it,” you admitted. “What am I even deciding, again?”

“I dunno, you’ve been quiet and I only assumed you were trying to decide something.”

You took his hand and locked your fingers. “Guess I am.”

“What are you deciding? If I may ask?”

“I’m having trouble believing it,” you confessed. “I—I am having trouble believing you were in love with me.”

“Not past tense,” he cleared his throat. “I am in love with you.”

“But why? What’s wrong with you?” You chuckled.

He nudged you. “A lot of things, but I am…”he stopped and then stared at you. “I am deeply, stupidly and annoyingly in love with you, y/n.”

You wanted to say it back right then. Even if being in love and loving wasn’t the same, you wanted him to know. You smiled. “Well, it’s difficult to believe it.”

“Why?”

“Because you are… you and I am me,” you explained. “You are Tom, and I’m just stinky and stupid y/n.”

“You’re not as stinky,” he joked.

“Dickhead,” she nudged him.

He looked at you, “I thought you’d be deciding something else.”

“Like what?” You frowned.

He coughed, and ran a hand through his face.

“Tom?”

“Not sure,” he admitted but you were sure he lied. He probably was waiting for you to say it back.

Technically you had hinted it, hadn’t you? The whole: you had been on my mind all the time. But… God, you didn’t want to say it out loud. Saying it out loud meant making it real. Your heart was beating so fast. So, so fast. But then again, your sane reasoning was reminding of the constant aggravation.

But god that was stupid.

You wanted to get in the elevator already, kiss him without any confrontation, because even if you were the only ones in the world right now, the crowds were still there, and they couldn’t know. You had to be alone, and you had to wrap your arms around him. You just needed another kiss for confirmation. And maybe some more just to make sure.

The elevator had been a safe space for both of you, since you’d arrived, every time you’d gotten into you’d share a kiss there. A new one each day. Never a same kiss twice. Tom had taught you that there were more than a million ways to kiss and that he’d be willing to explore a new one each passing moment.

But of course, life was a bitch and just as you thought you’d be alone in the elevator, an old couple walked in as well.

You frowned but hugged Tom, at first you saw him hesitate but he hugged you back. He placed a soft kiss on top of your head, as you nuzzled into him. You felt safe, which you hadn’t been. Your mind started to shut up, and you were enjoying the moment, feeling him, as you could smell the remaining cologne from his neck, and you felt his fingers pressing against your back.

The elevator door opened as the couple wished you goodnight and as soon as it had closed you smashed your lips to his, taking him by surprise.

But his hands immediately went to your waist, as he tried to pull you closer to him. The kiss was… breathtaking, but not as the usual kisses you’ve had on this elevator, hot and full of passion, wanting to undress the other already. No.

This kiss was soft, like a thousand butterflies. He was kissing your soul, it felt like an end of the summer breeze. Yet it felt… sad. As if he was apologizing, in a way.

And maybe it was the look in his eyes, or the way he had warmed you with his embrace, or the fact that you felt like your heart was so close to his that you finally knew it, or… you finally accepted it. You loved him. That was undeniable. As stupid as that feeling may be, and as much as it hurt.

The kiss lasted so long you were sharing each other’s breaths by the time the door opened again. And it felt soothing and inviting and thrilling and bright.

He pulled away, and you gulped, as you slowly walked out. He chuckled nervously as he led the way. He kissed your cheek before opening the door.

He seemed nervous, and you were, too, probably. You felt like your heart was about to pop off your chest. He cleared his throat before heading to the bed.

You both were too quiet. But you both followed the routine, the teeth brushing, make-up wiping. Quietly this time.

You saw him head to the bed, he checked his notifications but didn’t open them. You had noticed that about you both, you rarely picked up your phone when you were together.

He took a deep breath and then stared at the city from the window, sitting on the edge of the bed. You wish this was the script, at least there you could control every tiny situation, but this? How could you control any of this. You could write a million pages and it would never be enough to explain how you felt towards him.

“Tom?” You called him anyway. As you walked over to him.

“Yeah?” He smiled at you.

“I have a verdict,” you said. But did you really?

He took your hand, nervously. “Yeah?”

“I… Me too.”

That was the most stupid sentence that you could say and it didn’t come remotely close to everything you wanted to tell him.

He furrowed his brows with confusion. “What?”

“I—“you cleared your throat, the words didn’t want to come out. Not out loud. “I… what you’ve said before.”

“I said a lot of things, y/n,” he reminded you as you sat beside him, he gave his attention back to the city.

You kept watching him, tracing his side profile slowly, you feared saying it because if you said it, there was no going back for once.

He pursed his lips, and then squeezed your hand.

“You asked me why I said no to Tim,” you started.

He frowned and then turned to you.

“I thought we were done—“

“The real reason why I said no, was because I’ve also—“you stopped yourself. You had to say it. But it felt weird, the words didn’t want to come out, he only stared at you,“I’ve also been in love with you my whole life, and I still am even more deeply than ever.”

You had said it. In a way. Because he knew this, you knew he was well aware of this.

You’ve said it before. How he had been your first love, not the only one. But there was always something you had believed in: nothing is as truthful as the first love because it’s the most spontaneous one, you never plan it, or just...arrives. Over the years you learn, and you find love and we learn how to trick ourselves into believing it’s love, and we let ourselves fall into the routines and lies the world tells us about it, about how it should feel, but not with the first one. Because the first love is so magical, so real and authentic. You don’t plan it.

And maybe that’s why it’s so easy to fall back in love with one’s first love. Because it feels real. Even if it isn’t.

And you knew that when he was gone, you were still thinking about him, that you still got dressed up and then ended up crying on your couch again.

Because you knew it, Timmy was...perfect. But Tom wasn’t, he truly wasn’t and yet…

Tom watched you, as if now it was him who was trying to convince himself he believed you. You saw a hint of blush forming on his cheeks, and his eyes crinkle just slightly.

“And—“now you couldn't stop yourself. “It hurts to think I’ve spent my whole life loving you, and that the feelings might have been reciprocated without us truly knowing, and it hurts to think we spent our whole lives pulling that kind of crap when I should’ve spent all my life kissing that dumb face of yours, because… I love you. And—Maybe, maybe that’s why we didn’t take it slow, you know?” The damned word slipped again, and again and again, as if once you’d said it it had to come out for every time you’d stayed quiet and kept it to yourself. You cursed to yourself mentally. He remained quiet. And you only wanted the world to suck you in and spit you elsewhere far away from him. Maybe this was after Rome all over again, maybe he’d said the words that you dreaded, he’d say that he didn’t love you back. That this was all an act, that you’d be in agony again.

But you continued, because you are stupid. “Because—Why would I take it slow with someone whom I already know, flaws and all, and why would I take it slow with someone I love? Why the fuck should I waste more time if I love you? Why the fuck should I stop myself from feeling when I know you’re far from perfect but I still love you as you are—And why the fuck haven’t you shut me up with a damn kiss, idiot?” You demanded and he finally smiled.

He chuckled before leaning over to kiss you, pushing you to the bed, laying down right beside you, with his hand on your waist. The kiss felt golden, if you could ever give color to a kiss, that would be it, golden, so bright and tempting.

“I love you,” he admitted, as he stared at your eyes and then at your lips, he leaned down to place another soft kiss.

Hearing it, was way too different from all the times you’ve said it before.You’d said the words before but with different meanings. Purely as a sentiment obligated by the nature of your families’ relationship. Or maybe as a hidden—very hidden friendship. But not like this. Not this heart stopping “I love you.” Not this blushing and looking into each other’s eyes crap.

Not this, that once it had come out of your mouth, it had been so easy to say.

“And I didn’t shut you up because.. I just wanted to hear it from you—I technically said it first,” Tom said.

You immediately frowned. “What?” You questioned. “No, you said you were in love with me, not that you loved me,” you stated.

“Are you getting technical now, y/n?” He teased. The moment was ruined.

“Yes.”

He chuckled. “Well it doesn’t count—I told you how I felt first,” he said.

“No, I did-”

“I said I had been in love,” he said. “Falling in love and saying I love you is the same—”

“No it’s not,” you frowned.

“In this case, it is,” he laughed as he kissed your neck. And you knew what he meant. You already knew he loved you—just not in this way.

“No,” you snapped.

He chuckled. “You just want to take pride on believing that you said it first.”

You smirked. “Yes, of course.”

He brushed his lips against yours, butterflies invading your soul. “But you didn’t, I said it first, idiot” he sentenced.

“You did not, frogface!” You pushed him, and then sat right on top of his lap, he laughed, laying down.

“I did!” He grinned, before pulling the pillow from behind his head to playfully hit you.

“You did not! And Oi!” You complained before taking the other pillow to hit him right on his face.

The pillow fight continued, along with the whole: ‘It was me’ ‘No,me!’ bickering, until Tom pulled you back to kiss you yet again.

“Are we actually fighting over who said I love you first?” He asked you.

“Yes,” you grinned, as you played with his hair.

“I can’t believe you, y/n,” he laughed.

“I’ve been holding it back my whole life, I have the right to,” you complained, as you cupped his face delicately to pepper him with soft kisses.

He closed his eyes as his hand travelled throughout your whole back. “You think I haven’t been trying to tell you my whole life?”

“Hm,” you only looked up slightly, but kissed your way over to his collarbone, barely exposed.

“And it’s different, because—We knew we loved each other just not in that way,” he whispered. He was right but you wouldn’t let him know that.

You looked up, “So what?” Still leaving wet kisses across his whole exposed neck.

“So I said it first,” he stated. You stopped kissing him. “Hey,” he complained.

You sat back up. “But you knew I was in love with you before,” you reminded him.

“But not right now,” he complained.

You scoffed, “You actually didn’t know I was in love with you right now.”

“No,” he tried pulling you back to him.

You smirked, rolling your eyes. “So you think I was only kissing you because of—“

He shrugged as he placed his hands on your waist. “I’m hot y/n, I turn you on.”

You coughed, faking a laugh. “You don’t.”

He pulled you back to him, his hands traveling down to cup your ass, pushing you against him. He connected your lips with his on a sloppy, messy but deepened kiss. He managed to turn you both around, now him on top. He kissed his way to suck on your neck. You only closed your eyes

“Fine you do,” you admitted pushing him away giggling, as he only stared at you with a smirk. “but that’s not what I was—You’re saying you didn’t know I was in love?”

He smiled, shaking his head. “I did not, I swear.”

“Well, I am,” you admitted.

He beamed. “Hm, and I am too.” He placed a hand on the back of your neck, and pulled you into a long kiss. His hands toyed with the hem of your shirt. You helped him take it off as he kissed down from your shoulders to your chest.

“You know you can’t kiss me away to change my mind,” you mentioned.

He nuzzled into your chest. “Oh I know, I know you’re a stubborn ass.”

“Hey,” you playfully smacked his head.

“Oi,” he climbed back up. “But we also just said I love you for the first time which it’s a pretty big deal,” he whispered.

You blushed. “Huh guess it is,” you beamed, pulling him for yet another kiss.

“Hmmm,” he hummed.

You pulled away. “But I did say it first.”

“Sh,” he chuckled, kissing you.

“I love you,” you said between peppers.

“Hmh, I love you,” he said back. And it felt so weird but so nice hearing it. You could listen to him say it again and again. Your new favorite song.

“There, I said it first,” you teased.

Tom had to sit back up to hold back his laughter. “Oh my god shut up,” he said with a grin.

You smirked. “Make me.”

But he didn’t lean over as you expected him to, he didn’t lean over to kiss you in the way he had the nights before. Not with the hunger and lust burning in his eyes. Not with desire.

He leaned over with a quick peck, and with a gentle smile. Slowly, his fingers threaded up and down your stomach, as he stared at your eyes, only. He only smiled against the kiss, and you did, too. You barely were even kissing, it was only silly smiles clumsily bumping into each other. A deep kiss then, your hands brushing his hair and his hand on your waist pulling him closer.

You took off his shirt then, with his help as he climbed up to you, slow movements of his soft and light fingers as they bristled on your skin. Soft caresses of his lips, so slow as he bit your bottom lip.

You wanted to say it again, but you didn’t want to wear it out. But you knew that with your lips against his he knew it. And he knew he wasn’t perfect for you, and he knew you weren’t either. He probably wasn’t the guy whom everyone would think you’d end up, and you could definitely see the ending to this, but it didn’t matter. He was perfect right now.

His soft fingers travelled on your body, he hadn’t seemed to notice you were still wearing the pink flowered lingerie, or maybe he had, but his sight wouldn’t leave yours, as your own hands were brushing his cheeks, slightly caressing his lips.

He went down to your neck next, nipping at your skin gently, his hands tracing your sides, and your own hands pressing down from his chest to his stomach.

“I love you,” he said hoarsely.

His clothes were a burden now, as your fingers were silking down finding freckles as you were barely looking at his back. Your lips parted, as you looked at him, his hair falling down to his eyes.

And though his hands were going down to your heat, it didn’t feel like teasing, it felt more like he was exploring, as if he was memorizing it, just like you were counting each freckle on his body. He slowly undressed you completely, the underwear now hanging somewhere in the room. Once your body was free from the clothes and as you were pulling down his own pants, he started to chillingly kiss his way down to your stomach.

Soft and tender, almost unnoticeable kisses. You wrapped your legs around him, wanting to feel his warm body pressed against yours, you wanted to feel each and every heartbeat. Your body flushed with each touch, as his tongue slid up from your chest back to your neck. You pushed him slightly, shifting to be on top of him and kiss him, his chest, his stomach, your hands pressing his bulky arms and then back on his lips, as you smiled against each kiss.

“I love you,” you said this time.

And he was holding your body like he knew it completely, and he probably did. Since you both arrived in New York, he had probably kissed every single spot on your body, and you had kissed his. You probably were now memorizing each and every spot, the ones that were pretty and the ones that weren’t. But tonight, it wasn’t like every other night in New York, it felt like the city was quiet, and it felt like the lights that came in weren’t the buildings.

He sat you both up, with his nips getting sloppier with each kiss, as he tried to grind against you, with sweat now dripping from both of your bodies. You were melting against each touch, and you were sure the only sound in the room were your lips pressing to each other and the sweaty skin meeting softly. Velvety soothing sighs each time you pulled away, with his hands massaging every inch of your body, and your hands tugging at his untamable hair. Both of you giggled every once in a while to the kiss, as your fingers tickled his body. You had reached for the drawer in the nightstand, which had just been restocked that day with condoms.

Bodies wrapped around each other, as he finally looked at you, as if asking for permission and you only nodded at his hazy, hungry eyes. You helped him wrap up the condom and then positioned yourself.

You took a deep breath as you sank down now getting your core close to his length, you’d felt it growing more and more with each kiss, and your own sex had been pooling but both of you had seemed to ignore it, too lost in each other’s lips. Your lips parted just slightly as you felt him enter you, you gripped to his back as his own hands settled on your waist. You slowly lowered yourself, as both of you exhaled with relief.

You nuzzled into his neck, as you slowly bounced up and down, rolling your hips, as he thrusted in and out. Soft moans slipping out of his mouth, as he called your name and only your nme.

A steady rhythm as he brushed your sensitive sweet spots each time he thrusted in and out. Your lips found his again, as she smiled against them. And you were sure you could feel your heartbeat, and through pleasure you both tried to chase down both of your lips, urging to be so close to each other.

You rested your forehead against his as your bouncing was turning even lazier, and barely even rocking, your thighs were yearning for relief, and maybe Tom sensed it as he pushed her back into the bed, now his thrusts burying deeper, each time, as your hands cupped his head. The friction getting you exactly where you wanted to, and you knew he was close, too, his drilling had become sloppy. You reflexively closed your thighs but he opened them back up. It was building up in your stomach, the overwhelming sensation of both of you seeing stars.

He kept moaning your name and you kept moaning his, and he’d slip out every now and then and ‘I love you’, as both of you were shaking.

Tonight you’d been quiet, not like every other night here in New York. You were only loud enough for the other to hear, because that’s all you needed.

You didn’t last much, and you only gripped to his shoulders, and he followed after, his hips pushing harder until his release sprung out.

He laid on top of you, as you listened to each other soft breaths and heartbeats. Once you both caught your breath he pulled out, but turned you around to kiss you again.

And that’s all you really needed, sweet pecks around each other’s bodies, soft and quiet ‘I love you’s and giggling and smiling, blushing each time you looked into each other's' eyes.

You couldn’t remember how you had finally slept in his arms, so close to his heart. But you barely slept after that, you only watched him, and there was a part of you that really knew he wouldn’t fuck up, you would. You watch him fall asleep, and when you were sure he was out, you kissed his cheek and then headed to the small sofa, and then opened your laptop as the bright script stared at you, you wanted to change it all. And you had to tell him, but how could you tell him?

You had to change this, but could you change the entire series? When you had to give it back in a week. But maybe you could tell him it was only based on your life, slightly. Besides, it ended on a happy note.

This felt wrong. But you couldn’t help but smile, watching him. And you wrote the happy ending, how you had had it all wrong and how stupid it is to doubt love. How the girl ended u falling in love with him, anyway.

Eventually you were drifting off, so you closed your laptop and got back in bed with him, he pulled you close to him.

You woke up to the sound of the shower and an empty bed. You could hear Tom singing from the shower. ‘I think we’re alone now’.

And it was funny how you now had the perfect soundtrack to your relationship, a quirky 80’s song that probably wouldn’t be considered romantic, and it definitely wasn’t the type of song you’d expect to dedicate. But you had danced to it, and your hearts had synced to it. Stupid as it may be.

You hummed along, and you took out your laptop again. You typed it in, as a reminder, to find a song. Just the kind of song that had the same undertone, a bright song with lyrics that fit perfectly.

“Morning,” you grinned as the door opened. “Lovely voice you’ve got there.”

“‘M sorry you looked so peaceful, didn’t want to wake you up, dumbass” he said as he had walked out of the shower, towel around his waist, droplets falling down his hair. “Did I wake you up-?”

“No, you didn’t. All showered up, I see,” you grinned, closing your laptop. “Any plans today, frogface?”

“I do, actually, want to go out with my girlfriend.”

“Oh,” you blushed. “You have a girlfriend? Should’ve told me before all of this happened.”

He laughed. “Idiot.”

You blew him a kiss.

“I wanted to take you to a museum,” he commented, making his way over. “We have all these two days to ourselves so maybe we could enjoy it, then only two days more filming and we’re back, so I wanted to take you out on New York.”

“Hm, or we could stay in bed all day,” you suggested, as you pulled his hand, he sat right beside you. He leaned over to kiss you.

“Hm, no, as much as I’d love that...” he laughed. “C’mon, you’ve never been to New York before,” he said.

And he was right.

“Fine, a museum then?” You grinned as you wiped off a drop of water falling down his face.

“Yeah, Museum of Moving Image, it’s basically a film museum, it’s in Queens.”

“Queens, huh?” you grinned. “We could visit Peter Parker.”

He laughed. “You have him right here, babe.”

“No, Peter is smart,” you kissed his nose as he laughed with fake pain. “But didn’t you have tickets for a game?”

He bit his lip. “Yeah, but.. That’s not really your scene, so… First the museum and then go listen to the Philharmonic,” he chuckled. “Or something aesthetic”

You chuckled. “Sounds nice,” you bit your lip.

“And you’re not excited?” He tilted your head. “You loved to do that stuff with… Him.”

“Which is exactly,” you closed your eyes.

“What, now?”

“Tom, you don’t have to… I love you for who you are, okay? Let’s go to the game, and have fun, and really, let’s just explore New York, alright?” You leaned over to kiss him.

He grinned. “Fine, we’ll go to the game.”He looked down at your laptop. “Hm?”

“Sorry, I was writing,” you admitted.

He grinned. “Ah, right, your script,” he chuckled. “Completely forgot about that.”

“Yeah, I kind of want to be a writer for movies and such and kind of am an aspiring director,” you chuckled.

“And here I thought you were having the time of your life being my assistant.”

“Am I an assistant though?” You laughed. “Kind of feel like a hooker now, this definitely wasn’t on the job description.”

He burst out in laughter, blushing. He cleared his throat. “Now you know why Haz and I moved in together.”

You playfully smacked him. “Idiot.”

He finally laid back down on the bed. “So, what’s the script about?”

You felt your heart stopping. “Um.”

He chuckled. “Fine, don’t tell me,” he laughed. “I remember you used to write the best stories.”

You rolled your eyes. “You never liked any of them.”

“That’s what I made you think,” he winked. “But I remember all kinds of stories.”

“Yea,” you gulped.

“So?”

“You’ll know it when I’m ready for you to know it, okay?” You pecked him in the lips and then quickly headed to the shower, too.

The rest of the day was fun, you went to a baseball game, holding hands and having fun, you got a little bit carried away by the game as you cheered for whatever team was playing, you’d shared a few kisses, covered by both your caps. It felt so different from Rome. Though you still had to hide, there were people who had recognized him and you definitely didn’t want the world to know about this… relationship before you even knew what it was. Besides, if the word spread around it would get to your families and you definitely were not ready to tell them, yet. And you knew it would be a terrible way to find out.

But that didn’t stop you from having fun, and from laughing and enjoying the time with him, as both of you showed a side to each other that you’d never shown before, a side where you both were trying to show your best side, your best smile and your best laugh. The nicest jokes and the best manners. And your heart couldn’t stop beating so fast each time you shared a kiss.

And you explored New York, just letting the city drive you to wherever it led. Getting on the subway, admiring street art, searching through the loud crowds. Finding places that were barely noticed by the usual tourists, but that you both found fun enough. Sometimes he’d find random moments to whisper he loved you, and your heart stopped each time. It wouldn’t wear out.

Somehow, you both ended up deciding to go to the Modern Pinball, where you both were trying to prove the other that they were better at the game. And it felt, in a way like when you were children, laughing and competing without trying to hurt each other, but of course beat the other. The arcade was magical, and romantic in a way.

He won, but you didn’t acknowledge it.

But he kept mentioning it as you sat down at a nice New York bar, beer on both of your hands.

“I won.”

“You cheated,” you commented, laughing. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“Hm you’re just bitter because you suck at pinball,” he sassed.

You felt it, again. The magic, the night changing. Fearing that it would change again, not now, not tomorrow but soon.

“That’s no way to talk to your girlfriend,” you said, flipping him off.

“Oh, she’s here?” He looked around.

“Dickhead.”

“Fartface,” he grinned. “So, you actually are my girlfriend, then?”

“Dunno, feels like we’ve messed all the order up,” you chuckled. “We first broke each other’s heart, then we slept together, then you asked me out, then we said I love you and now we’re dating, what kind of order is that?”

He snorted. “Hm, at this point we’ll end up getting a divorce first, then a kid, go to our kid’s wedding and then get married ourselves and right after that we’ll finally go to our third date.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Silly.”

“At least we already broke each other’s hearts, we skipped the worst part,” he smiled.

You looked down with a sad smile.

But you were both quick to change the subject. And then he kept insisting on going to the museum the next day, and you were actually kind of excited for it. Though you both were laughing at how both Harrison and your brother were asking for an update on your relationship.

“I think we should tell them,” he said.

“Hm, really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I don’t want to hide this.”

You smiled. “Really?”

He chuckled, “Second date but, yes y/n, I want you to meet my parents, dumbface” he grinned.

“I already know your parents, idiot,” you pointed out.

“Not as my girlfriend, you don’t.”

And you’d both gone quiet. That was fast, so so fast, and this meant he really was going serious, which meant you had to be quick with your own thoughts over the script. You had to back away. You had to give this up. Or tell him. Find a way to tell him.

“So I am your girlfriend?” You teased chuckling.

He seemed to realize it, though, maybe he was backing away.

“No, but might be fun to make them think you are,” he cleared his throat before chuckling. “And we can pretend it, too, and just--”

“Fine, I’ll meet your parents,” you smiled, kissing his hand. “And maybe you can meet mine, too.”

But of course, the fairytale had to end, didn’t it? You didn’t even remember how it had happened, you only remembered crying on the edge of the bed. And Tom pacing around the room.

The fucking film canister, a single damned prop had ruined the last 24 hours. Your stupid decision had made everything explode. Nothing that either of you’d said or felt or done mattered because he found the film canister.

Of course you didn’t expect him to be calm about it. And he had been when he had found it. Initially, until he connected the dots.

How had he found it?

How the hell had he found it?

Why the fuck had you forgotten it was on your purse? And then you were cursing yourself for not giving it back, why hadn’t you given it back? Why were you so confused towards Timmy? Were you planning on keeping it forever?

“y/n, oh my god, I just… You just carry this around everywhere?” He frowned.

“No, I don’t.”

“Why--I… Please, sorry just walk me through this, please, I… You have his engagement ring? You kept the engagement ring?”

“I told you what happened, alright? I wanted to say yes at that point.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were planning on saying yes, and were you planning on saying it right now-?”

“I brought it to give it back to him, alright?” You snapped. “I was going to do it yesterday at dinner.”

“And you didn’t,” Tom snapped. “Which has to mean something, I-”

“I literally just said I loved you, you really think it means something?”

“Y/N, yes!” Tom cried. “You said it yesterday, you’ve always believed he might be the love of your life.”

“And I fucking said I was in love with you throughout my whole relationship with him, and I also fucking said I said no to that ring because I still loved you!”

“Yet you still have this!” He pointed out.

“Fine, give it to me, I’ll go right now and give it back to him,” you walked over, snatching it from his hand.

Tim opened up the door to his hotel room, he had just showered you could tell, as he was drying his hair with the white towel. He smiled brightly at you, and you only wanted to forget this, get yourself out of this situation.

And you wondered how wrong this was, because there was still that buzzing in your ear saying that he should be the one you should love, he was the guy whom you should end up with. Everybody saw it, the guy whom your parents had loved, the guy who was clean and who understood you, the fairytale, and the rom com, the guy who you were supposed to love. And yet, with everything your heart still belonged to Tom.

“Hi,” he grinned. “You arrived early… I uh, want to head somewhere?” You had called him on your way.

“No,” you answered quickly, and you had to hold your breath. “I…” You had been playing with the film canister all the way from your own hotel. You handed it to him as he watched it curiously. “I need to give it back. I… I wanted to wait until we were back in London but I need to get rid of this guilt, Tim, I can’t let you keep holding on to something that might never…” You started, and you had promised yourself you wouldn’t cry but then again you had promised yourself you wouldn’t love Tom again, you were very good at breaking promises.

Tim looked up, slightly, and then he opened it, revealing the ring he’d once given you. He stayed quiet. “Alright.”

That’s all he had said, but you knew it wasn’t alright. “I’m so sorry, Tim, I hope you find someone who will love you as much as you deserve to be loved and more,” you said, and the tears were already streaming down. You didn’t wipe them off, as if you weren’t acknowledging them.

He pursed his lips. “This is it, huh?”

“I.. I don’t know Tim, I… I’m so sorry.”

He only stared at it. “Can I ask…. where did I go wrong?”

“You didn’t.” And that’s what hurt the most, you guessed. That he had been perfect, just… Not for your heart.

“I—I just want to know what I did wrong, what could I have done better?” He pushed, as he finally looked into your eyes, and you saw him hurt. And that’s the last thing you ever wanted, to see him hurt. He didn’t deserve to be hurt.

“It’s not you,” you admitted.

“I still—I feel like I could’ve done so much more,” he said as he walked out of his room to lean against the wall. “and—And I know, I know you never loved me like—”

“I loved you, Timmy.” Because you didn’t want him to think you’d never loved him.

“Not the way you should’ve,” he scoffed.

You tensed up. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know I’m just—”He ran a hand through his face and then through his hair. “I’m sorry, I’m being annoying. I should get over you.”

You didn’t answer.

“I’ve been trying to understand what went wrong,”he said, mostly to himself it seemed. “We almost never fought y/n, we always—we were happy, and I thought we were okay, but it seemed like every Friday you’d get dressed up but then realize it was for me, as if it didn’t excite you, as if every time you picked up you wished it was him instead.”

It felt like you were being stabbed on your stomach. “No timmy you did, I loved you, it was you…”

“It wasn’t, y/n,” he gulped. “I only wanted to love you, y/n, and—And I don’t understand what happened. And—It was my mistake but I guess I asked for too much.”

“No, Timmy, this is me.”

“No, I know,” you saw his eyes were now starting to water but he discreetly wiped a tear off. “And I’m sad I ran out of chances because there is just so much love still waiting okay?”

You wanted to change this, you wanted to fast forward this moment, to know the right answer, read the spoiler and know how this would end.

“And we never had a proper goodbye,” he continued. “And I understand that you wanted to be loved,” he smiled sadly. “That’s all I did, you only asked to be loved but—Maybe that was my problem, I never asked you to love me back.”

“I did love you back, so much, and I still do, I’m just… I am so sorry I wasn’t able to love you like you deserved to.” Because he didn’t deserve to be feeling this way

“And does he?” He closed the film canister again and played with it.

“What?”

“Does he love you like he’s supposed to? Because I see you smiling, but you’ve—You've painted him as such a monster-” He sighed.

“He’s not a monster.”

“How long will it take him to break your heart again?” He asked, as if he was asking for an actual day, to be prepared. “Because maybe y/n—I won’t be there, fuck now I sound toxic…I am super toxic, fuck,” he closed his eyes. “I just have the right to be sad, okay? Or angry I guess,” he nodded and looked away. “I mean yoou were in love with another man throughout our whole relationship..” He said with poison.

You scowled. “I wasn’t, I was in love with you.”

“All the time?”

You leaned against the other wall, crossing your arms. “It took me a while, but I did, I loved… I love you, alright? I’m just…” You paced around. “It’s so complicated, Timmy, I just… I want to be with him right now, okay?”You snapped. “And I’m sorry Tim, I’m just willing to risk it, I need to know what it feels like to finally be loved by him.”

He nodded, and then silenced himself for a while.

“Was there anything I could’ve done?”

“Tim.” You squeezed your eyes shut, and he walked over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“I just need to know.”

“It wasn’t you, Tim, it was me, and it’s… “You walked out of his embrace. “It’s horrible because I know .. There's a part of me that knows that you’re… “You gulped and watched him, raising your voice. “You’re supposed to be the love of my life and I don’t get it, alright? And when you were gone, I didn’t want you to be another story, okay? I cried so much because I knew I had lost you...But… “You scowled. “My heart just keeps being an idiot, but right now I don’t care, okay?” You admitted. “If he wants to break my heart then it’s alright, I’m willing to get my heart broken one last time, maybe I’ll finally learn but right now, let me enjoy this,” you pleaded. “Let me have this, and I know it, everyone says it, you’re my endgame, you and I are perfect for each other but Tim, I can’t do this to you, I love him, right now I want to be with him.”

Tim watched you. “And do you really love him? Or is he only the story you wanted to write?”

“What do you mean?”

“You tend to confuse real life with your own writings, and you tend to dream too much and often forget that life isn’t a movie, y/n,” he commented.

“That’s not what’s happening,” you snapped.

“I know, I’m…”He pinched the bridge of his now. “Guess I’m only trying to convince myself, sorry.”

You stayed silent.

“I’m sorry, it’s… I’ll see you at Harry and Emma’s engagement party,” he said as he was walking back to his room.

“What?”

He sighed. “Yeah, as much as it might bother you to see me, I’m still the bride’s best friend,” he shrugged.

“I didn’t know they were having-”

“Yeah, when we come back, Emma only told me, don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll tell you, after all you’re the maid of honor, aren’t you? Or maybe Harry…” Tim closed his eyes. “We really fucked up by introducing our best friends to each other huh.”

You didn’t say anything.

“Will you and Tom still be a secret?” Tim asked.

“Dunno.”

He sighed. “I know I’m asking too much but please, try to…” He gulped. “Keep down the snogging when you guys are around, I know it’s a new relationship but.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” he gulped as he then closed the door.

Maybe you were wrong, maybe knowing that someone was the love of your life but your heart not wanting them back was what hurt the most.

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