#inspired by my hostal which was next to a leftist bar and there were a lot of pretty ppl

[undeuxs]

wolfstar (remus x sirius), long au with suggestive themes

thinking about parisian!sirius, who moved out from london with his family when he was barely 12, and now being 21 his beloved childhood friends, james, peter and remus, are visiting him for the first time in paris.

sirius gets so excited about them coming over that he starts annotating which pubs are worth it and which aren't. he gets more and more nervous when their reunion is approaching that he finds himself trying to guess which places in the city will the boys like better.

"james would love to hang out anywhere, only because we will be together... but maybe he would like it even more with a pint or two."

"peter... that boy would follow us everywhere. even if we plot a murder, he'd choose to be there with us."

and then there is remus. remus.

most of the time sirius has to stop and truly think to himself, "what will remus like?"

truth be told, he has not seen them in such a long time, sirius sometimes has this thought that they may feel like foreigners to him now. he knows what they look like. he knows how their voices sound through the phone. he knows that james has a big crush on this red haired girl from university. he knows peter trains every morning with james against his own will.

but what does he knows about remus that remus dares to admit to him outloud? being realistic, not too much.

so sirius keeps repeating the same question, like a mantra in his head, "what will remus like?"

"the louvre, probably, he likes art. but no... that is too cliché for him..."

"headquarters of the communist party? it's nice and it has history. oh, but he will think i want to come off as some know-it-all..."

luckily when they arrive sirius doesn't have to worry about such questions anymore. between what james and remus planned beforehand, their excruciatingly long to-do list covered almost everything you could do for several weeks.

it is james who shows the biggest excitement among them, hugging sirius thrice when they finally meet, the way a true big brother would do. peter seems nervous, as if the city would swallow him. and remus, always sweet remus, who has grown taller than sirius and now sirius has to tilt his head backwards to get a full view on his face.

although they do not hug, their smiles are enough.

the boys are staying at sirius' place, who, since starting university, moved out and now gets to live in a beautiful, perfectly decorated flat just in the center of the city, away from his awful family.

they go out, explore the city, play records at sirius' apartment, smoke a lot and drink a lot. it's always sirius' treat, and even though they offer to pay him back, they forget about it when james and remus have to carry a pretty much wasted sirius to the taxi.

they all have their individual bedrooms (thank god sirius' place is huge), therefore one night, when remus slips under sirius' bedsheets, sirius doesn't know what to do. sure that night they drank heavily as they are used to do, but is remus that drunk to get his own bedroom wrong?

they fall into comfortable silence, until remus speaks, his words a low whisper, coated in sweetness and truthfulness which makes sirius doubt whether he is supposed to hear them or not.

"i missed you a lot."

sirius tries to conceal he's started to feel nervous by slowly rolling to one side. in a gentle motion, as if otherwise he would disrupt the quietness of the moment, he gets the pack of cigarettes that rested on the bedside table.

"want one?" he offers.

"enough for tonight i'd say."

in the end, they share the cigarette. the only sound in the room being them inhaling and exhaling the smoke, with open windows.

"you've grown handsome, you know?" sirius chooses to break the silence, admiting the truth that remained unspoken among the friend group. remus is now the tallest one, his chiseled jawline and soft stare makes him objectively handsome.

"are you hiding your girl from us, or?" sirius inquires, giving the fact that remus had not talked about any girls he was curious about with them.

remus shows the most delicate smile sirius has ever seen. even surrounded by darkness, sirius still manages to contemplate remus' eyes looking straight into his.

"no, not interested at all in girls."

sirius stops asking then.

after that night, they start looking for each other's eyes constantly. james and peter seem to not notice this, or rather choose to ignore it. under the table their knees brush, their bodies craving for some closure.

all of them keep going out. they go to every touristy place in the city, drink and smoke and joke around. they laugh a lot.

one night while on their new favourite place, a famous leftist bar next to sirius' place, remus sits next to sirius, then whispers in his ear, a grin plastered on his face: "viens me faire un bisou."

at first he did not understand his thick english accent while trying to speak in french, but, oh, when the realization hits him... sirius' mind goes blank.

"what?"

"a guy over there said it to me, what does it mean?"

remus is drunk, but so is sirius, and this situation couldn't be worse now that james and peter are looking at them pretty much confused and curious at the same time.

"nothing important, it's a joke about tourists."

sirius can tell that remus doesn't believe him.

and so that very same night remus goes to sirius' bedroom once again.

"what did it mean, sirius? the french phrase, i mean." remus mutters, getting under sirius's sheets with an upsetting casualness.

sirius could lie, of course. but something in the back of his mind tells him not to do it. like a man standing in front of a cliff ready to jump, he responds.

"give me a kiss."

and this time they lose all of their inhibitions.

neither james nor peter will know that sirius admitted what that phrase truly meant. they won't know as well how one of remus' hands caressed sirius' long hair, or how sirius pulled the tallest one closer against him.

it is a secret they keep to themselves. the cigarettes they smoke after daring to touch each other, the long conversations when no one could hear them. breaking a secret vow and creating a new one, with the prospect that they could embrace freely each other again and again.

night after night, remus keeps going to sirius' room. and, as if desire had taken over them, both become bolder.

it is in pub's restrooms where they kiss each other without shame. sometimes the sounds of belts undoing and zippers going down accompany the fervor of the kisses. although this only happens whenever their friends start a heated discussion with at least three other people in the pub because, of course, only james potter could manage to get three or four parisians to discuss in english with them.

if their friends notice the change, they don't say anything, and sirius is glad for that, because remus' hand sometimes rests on his leg, and sirius' door does a pretty loud sound when it's locked.

remus and sirius kiss each other whenever they can, rough and softly, with their hands tracing the other's body. their skin was craving that exact feeling for such a long time, now they cannot stop, asking one to separate from the other would be like trying to separate tissue from bone. it is in those casual moments when they are the same thing: two boys, with complex minds and complex hearts that secretly longed for their forbidden equal to embrace them.