#inspired by a post or tweet i cannot find again for the life of me

[doks-aux]

Felix: *previous night* God, Jack, bite me! Give me bruises. I wanna be so embarrassed at work tomorrow.

Felix: *next morning* ...Fuck.

[embrosegraves]

𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕌𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣

Oscar Piastri x Horner!Reader Oscar finds that having a crush having less than platonic feelings for your boss's only adult daughter is apparently free real estate for some of F1's biggest gossips

Warnings: As per, explicit language and grammatical errors.

dates on tweets don't exist, right? they're all just fake??

series masterlist | previous part | next part

AustralianGP

imessage

instagram.com

liked by yn.horner, rubenholtt and others

oscarpiastri A week full of sim training, rage rooms and relaxation before going home for a p1 on the podium (hopefully) (max let me have this i beg) tagged: redbullracing, yn.horner

view all comments

logansargeant did I not tell you rage rooms were the coolest ever -> oscarpiasrti yeah yeah keep bragging 🙄 -> logansargeant well since you gave me permission-

fan38 at least its a controlled environment to deal with your emotions -> yn.horner thank FUCK i convinced him to do this instead of what Ruben wanted -> rubenholtt what was wrong with egging and tp-ing her house? -> yn.horner uhh everything???

maxverstappen1 I'm not gonna go easy on you just because you grew up 10 minutes from the track -> oscarpiastri BOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅

twitter.com

instagram.com

yn.horner has posted a new story!

replies:

user358 make him wear them!!

oscarpiastri The glasses are NOT the issue and you know it. -> yn.horner What you think I don't look good with facial hair? -> oscarpiastri Hey don't put words in my mouth -> oscarpiastri I just wasn't expecting you to pick up looking like THAT

imessage

instagram.com

liked by yn.horner, maxverstappen1 and others

redbullracing The face of a man that snagged P2 AT HIS HOME RACE, channelled his inner Elle Woods ("What, like it's hard?") and then proceeded to not elaborate any further tagged: oscarpiastri

view all comments

oscarpiastri What can I say, I'm just built diff 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ -> liked by author

danielricciardo We stand on business here -> oscarpiastri And that's on what? -> yn.horner PERIODTTTTTT

user325 AND NOT A SINGLE DISQUAL IN SIGHT -> danielricciardo 😢😢 -> user325 sorry Danny -> danielricciardo 😒🫶

JapaneseGP

twitter.com

imessage

instagram.com

oscarpiastri has posted a new story!

replies have been turned off

twitter.com

ChineseGP

instagram.com

liked by gerihalliwellhorner, oscarpiastri and others

yn.horner having matching plushies always helps me feel better when i'm away from home

tagged: @ Note Giver

view all comments

oscarpiastri what names have you chosen for yours? assuming that whoever they match with has named theirs -> yn.horner their names are confidential i'm afraid -> oscarpiastri boooooo no fun :(

user549 wish my boyfriend did this for me -> user550 babe, we're literally on our way to go buy jellycats -> user549 ok and???

imessage

twitter.com

twitter.com

if you see this, know that you WILL be getting the next update after the Imola GP i promise.

I've been in a really odd spot in my life where I haven't been very motivated to do any writing (or even just creating in general) for long burst of time, which means that any requests I have been sent previously have been sitting in my drafts half finished because I cannot for the life of me find any inspiration to write anything.

I count myself lucky that I had enough motivation and energy to start pre-planning for the rest of this series. If you take a look at the series masterlist you'll notice that there are numbers next to the current chapters and beyond. I've decided that the entire series is going to be 14 chapters in total with a bonus chapter for Oscar and Y/n's shenanigans at the end of the 2024 season.

I can't thank everyone enough for being so incredibly patient with me as I try to work through this writing slump. Slowly but surely I will start uploading fic reqs again

-- Embrose xx

[daimyosprincess]

Hoi I love your works and stories. I would love to write boba fett but have no idea how. Any tips for first time boba fett writers ?

ksjflfjfdksujslfj anon thank you so much 💖🥹😭

I am but an untrained, babey writer myself but I can tell you how I crafted my approach to writing Boba!

Step 1, be obsessed with Boba Fett since childhood, grow up, rediscover your love for him and Temuera Morrison as a slightly unhinged adult.

What hopefully is not just pure rambling below the cut

I watched The Mandalorian (specifically Boba's episodes in season 2) and TBOBF a concerning amount of times, and scoured Tumblr/AO3 for fics of our fav green tin can man. Got comfy with the character, figured out what drives him, what his motivations are, what his worldview and outlook are like. Essentially, my process boiled down to the following:

Immerse myself in the source content

Read, read, read & comment, comment, comment

Talking to the authors who inspired me (like you're doing now!)

Just started writing any and everything that came to me

Read some more, commented some more

Kept writing, saved everything

Got feedback

Now obviously everyone will have their own interpretations of a character, but to me, much of Boba's outlook and personality are defined by the death of his father. He is an intelligent boy raised with love by one of the galaxy's best bounty hunters, who teaches him not only about survival but also honor, respect, and personal responsibility. Jango was far from perfect (as we all are) but he did genuinely love his son and didn't hide that from Boba.

Besides the obvious trauma of seeing his father beheaded in front of him, Boba experienced a lifetime of further trauma that would have easily made him go back on what his father instilled in him. He was angry and he was alone during this time, his motivations being centered in anger and inexorable control (as seen in his drive to keep his reputation as a hunter stellar). To him, others were a liability, caring about anyone would only lead to pain. Boba burned bright and hot, but ultimately this path was not sustainable.

After the sarlacc and his time with the Tuskens, Boba was able to grow past the shadow of his father's death--there were different ways to honor his father than just being the best. He could heal himself, lead with respect and principles that harken back to his grandfather's code (whether he knows that or not), live a life that didn't have to end on some pointless job for the galaxy's scum. Boba relearned the importance of clan, that one cannot face this existence alone. Daimyo Boba now burns strong and even, fed by hearty logs rather than dry kindling.

Some posts I found helpful in characterizing Boba:

Boba's love language is acts of service by @thefact0rygirl

The spectrum of dom/general sexual behavior in Star Wars men by @rexxdjarin

Me and @rexxdjarin's comments on her Afflictions fic

Post

Post

Boba is funny send tweet

Boba's got a way with (written) words

Boba and words 2

Post

Boba is the sun

Post

Boba's relationship with being Mandalorian by @deewithani

There's obvs many more but these are the ones I could find again

I hope this was what you were looking for (and coherent lmao) and best of luck with your writing! We all can't wait to see what you come up with for our beloved Boba 💚

No pressure tags if some of these other Boba writers (and anyone else!) want to add anything to this: @rexxdjarin @thefact0rygirl @saradika @acatalystrising @thirsty-boba-fett-posts @bobathirstaccount @deewithani @writingwintermoon

[neonscandal]

Hi ....Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 10) favorite moments from any anime (can be series or movies)? Sorry if you have already answered this ask before.....

This is an incredible ask which inherently will come with some serious spoilers! This was also really tricky trying to determine what makes something my favorite - was it the funniest? The craziest? The biggest plot twist? I used the benchmark of what moments do I wish I could watch for the very first time, all over again. I broke the difference with eight, hope you don't mind!

⚠️ Spoiler Warning covers the following series (specific benchmarks will be given) for Sk8 the Infinity, Attack on Titan, My Hero Academia, Yuri on Ice, Trigun, Fushiigi Yuugi.

SK8 the Infinity S1 E6, allusion to S1 E10

Starting off light! One would assume that one of the most iconic scenes in Sk8 is the slap heard round the world but I found that more heartbreaking than anything. My favorite moment of Sk8 is easily Miya cockblocking Joe on the beach because what a flex, first of all. Secondly, the build up and subsequent (unknowing) teamwork of our favorite motley crew of skaters? 😘👌🏾 Chef's Kiss and *peak* comedy.

Attack on Titan S3 E16

I could talk at length about the exquisite exposition of Attack on Titan and how each rewatch sprouts new easter eggs of foreshadowing as the world unfurls for the viewer. But the truth is, out of the entire series, the moment that I would want to rewatch for the first time is Erwin's rallying speech in Shinganshina. In addition to inspiring goosebumps and anxiety when I hear it, it is a perfect storm of emotions as concurrent events unfolding are all coming to a head. It's a wretched life and a hopeless situation made worse by the all-or-nothing corner they've been backed into. The standoff is more poignant as it's a reckoning of Erwin's own past of valiantly using others as cannon fodder if only as a means to a strategic end. A man we now know to be possessed by the obsession of proving his father right, presses forward ceaselessly while never seeing a future beyond that and we're never given the time to fully digest that. "A Perfect Game", indeed. The speech manages to be heart wrenching every time. Including when the dub pops up in my music library.

Yuri on Ice S1 E10

Hot Take: Every sports anime is a BL. You cannot convince me otherwise. BUT THIS WORK OF ART!? Literally the exception that proves the rule. Episode 7 was GOOD. Like, "ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod, IT'S HAPPENING!" good. Episode 10 was a cultural reset ✨ and what I wouldn't give to see it for the first time all over again. From the viewer's perspective, Viktor picked up his life with one foot in a relationship when he decided to coach Yuuri. It was alluded to, hinted at, his susceptibility of Yuuri's affection should it ever be thrown his way but in an almost detached, puckish manner. A manner that frazzled Yuuri so he could never take it seriously. So what a comedy of errors to know, after finally finding a working rhythm and even exchanging rings, that Yuuri was the one who made the first move!? OMG. Iconic plot twist, truly. The bonus evidence of his champagne fueled revelry is one of my all time favorite bonus sequences.

My Hero Academia S3 E18, S6 E9 and Heroes Rising (Indirect Manga Spoiler Ch 337)

Maybe a bit biased since I'm most plugged into this series at the moment (I like GIFs and only get 9 a post), but here's a treasure trove of moments! I've recently gotten my niece and nephew into MHA and rewatched everything from S1 to the current season and all movies while seeing how they digest everything. I tried to tweet about it because it's truly novel seeing things for the first time through their eyes but didn't really keep up with it. Since I'm reading the manga (and need to pick back up on posting about it), I have a renewed perspective on certain moments so see below:

Iida rallying Aoyama from the figurative edge during the provisional exam and how it inspired Aoyama to sacrifice himself so someone he perceives as noble can be slingshot across the finish line. Humorous of course since we know Iida was like a hair away from murder a season or so ago. When this last ditch effort unites the rest of Class 1A and serves as an impetus for them all to pass together? BRUH. With what we've seen of Aoyama and what we later learn, rewatching this scene actually made me a bit more emotional as it added a layer to his duress that we don't comprehend just yet.

Bakugo's hero moment which mirrored Midoriya's own hero origin story. Don't get me wrong, Bakugo is no stranger to sacrificing himself. He and Midoriya make it a habit of saving one another. But this specific moment marks itself indelibly as deliberate insight into Bakugo's character growth because we hear his thoughts in that moment which seems to mirror Midoriya's. TBH, the episode was good but reading that for the first time? Phenomenal. It felt more impactful somehow.

The final fight scene against Nine with everyone coordinating to use their quirks to the best of their abilities while knowing they were outclassed. Bakugo and Midoriya seamlessly working together and then the (non-canonical IG) transfer of OFA with Deku risking quirklessness again and Bakugo warning him against it. *Cue Sarah McLachlan-esque soundtrack.*

Trigun (OG Run) S1 E 23

I slipped down the Adult Swim to Toonami pipeline of anime so Trigun was one of the first anime I fell in love with and kicked off an enduring adoration for characters voiced by Johnny Yong Bosch. Wolfwood's showdown with Evergreen and the subsequent scene at the church as he makes his peace before dying forever altered my brain chemistry. On the one hand, I loved Wolfwood's character as he played off of Vash so well, comedically. At odds but similarly aligned in the greater good though the means to the end weren't always in sync. I could appreciate the dissonance of his character, holy man who kills; unsavory priest, etc. So I would have been sad to see him go either way, but the life he imagined for himself as he was dying? Knife in the heart. Knowing that ultimately, legendary gunslinger Vash the Stampede made such a visceral impression on this ne'er do well priest, moreso than the God he served and that that was his undoing? Twist that knife, baby. That last bit I can appreciate much better as an adult where, as a kid, I could understand how moved I was without realizing the complexity of it. Truly devastating.

Fushigi Yugi S1 E33

I'm realizing that a lot of my favorite characters tend to be really irreverent and rough around the edges. These very same characters tend to have compelling depth beyond their surface level brashness and character growth that stays with me. Such is the case with the graceful and beautiful Nuriko of the Suzaku warriors. As a kid and also for a series of that period, I could understand that Nuriko had a rich complexity and appreciate the relief that they were accepted wholeheartedly by Miaka and the warriors. The character was so deeply steeped in grief that it defined them and muddled their identity over the course of their life. Upon finding a new mission, they were able to come into themselves but only by slowly letting that grief go. So it is ironic that this person, shortly after finding peace in who they were, was marked for a death that would critically galvanize Miaka and the rest of the warriors to carry on and see the mission through to the very end. This episode became a core memory and I distinctly remember bawling.

[rapunzel-off-duty]

22 Things I Learned in 22 Years

Music is the food for my soul; so does everyone else. Stop gatekeeping! (This goes even for the making the music thing, not just the listening)

You don't need to go to that concert if your goal is to post it on Instagram afterwards. Who cares if "I was here"? You. If you really want to come, being there should matter to YOU. Otherwise, go listen on Spotify or watch on YouTube instead.

It will suck. And then it will get better. I am in a point of my life where things are transitioning—sisters talking about dating, marriage, and having their own families; health becoming more important; building a career; starting from scratch—everything happens so fast and everything seems scary. It will get scary. You won't always know what to do. It's okay. You'll figure it out... or not, which is also okay. But it's not gonna be the end of the world. There's so much more to learn and grow from.

Read books. Watch movies and series. Play the guitar. Gift your family with crocheted pieces. Do what you love and never feel guilty for it!

Stop regretting and start showing up instead. You will never have to regret anything if you have already done or not done something with intentionality at the time. In another time it might sound wrong, but as long as you are intentional with your decision at the time, you are okay.

It's brave to acknowledge when you can't do something. Just know that the next step to that is to know how to do it. Practice and eventually master it.

The world is not gonna stop spinning if you do not get that tweet out. Sometimes, it's good to have an outlet, but please let the intention be that you will be able to release what is on your mind, not to have people agreeing or praising you.

The things that you care about, may also be the things that the people who care about you care about. You are not alone.

Stop isolating yourself. There are people around you who would want to listen to your stories and be inspired by your amazing ideas. Talk to people!

Deep and willing connections are better than the many shallow and forced ones. Do not go around chasing relationships to grow, allow it to fall into place... slowly, but surely.

Stop!!!!!!! Relying!!!!!! On!!!!!! First!!!!! Impressions!!!!!!!

You are going to meet someone who is matured enough, worthy enough, and qualified enough for your standards. Do not settle for less or lower your standards just because everyone is telling you to or so that they will be able to meet you at some point in the scale. He'll find you. Just stay where you are while you're building yourself. While you're attracting the right one, be the right one.

Are you going to make the world a better place with what you're about to say? No? Okay, shut up. Write about it, sing about it, cry about it but shut up.

Work out. Eat healthy. You're not getting any younger and even if you ARE young, it's not an excuse to indulge in that unhealthy fast food meal for days.

Sunscreen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even when you're indoors

Go after what you want. It's not bad to ask for what you want sometimes as long as you know you've earned it.

Walk. Watch people. Smile at a stranger. Be kind. Have seconds-long connections and wish them well, even if you will never see them again.

You are not a pick-me girl for being different as long as you know that's who you really are and those are the things you are interested or are not interested in.

Spend time with the people that you love. Choose them above what is expected of you to do or the people you're expected to be with.

Never procrastinate but YOU always come first. That paper will not write itself but if you cannot function at the moment, let it flow. You eventually will. But don't punish yourself for resting.

Pray.

You are beautiful and you are capable. There are times when you will feel like you're a fraud and incompetent for everything, but you're your worst critic. Everyone else doesn't think that way about you... If they're even thinking about you (and that's the cool thing about it! Everyone's busy thinking about themselves and how you would also judge them but no one really cares! Yay!) You have the opportunity to also think about yourself, so think about yourself. Think about how much of a wonderful person you are!

[currentfandomkick]

Selina Steals a Bug from Batman to get her Kitten.

blame this post here for this thing's inspiration, and a friend for encouraging this.

--

             Selina paused when she saw ‘the lost Wayne’ news. She knew Bruce didn’t adopt another kid and forget to tell her—Dick kept her up-to-date on his new siblings and sent her pictures. No, her boyfriend Bruce Wayne would certainly not hide a new Wayne from her.

             He absolutely would forget to introduce her to a new family friend or potential bat. She was still upset about how long it took him to admit that little Stephanie had been working with his son for months and he hadn’t thought to invite the girl over for a meal or two when Selina was over. It wasn’t like she didn’t already know Tim was dating another vigilante… it was that one of her not-technically-my-sons was not introducing her to someone who had saved his life multiple times and who happened to be another Gotham vigilante and another addition to the batfam.

             Selina is their unofficial mother after all, she has rights. Any possible members of their little bat family, and she must assess them. at the very least, teach them more than just Bruce’s habits. The man was horrendous at showing his actual emotions, and the kids would need a counter example to that—herself obviously.

             So imagine Selina’s surprise when she decided to surprise her boyfriend and his children with a visit, only to find a young teen drinking out of Tim’s favorite mug, wearing one of Dick’s more infamous Nightwing hoodie’s, and looking at one of Damian’s katana’s carefully.

             “Who are you?” Selina had a feeling this was the latest “not a Wayne” and she would have to ensure her bats were safe from a fellow thief… again.

             The teen looked up, almost startled by her appearance and nearly dropping the katana.

             Selina raised an eyebrow.

             The teen flushed. “Marinette.”

             “And what,” Selina strolled over to the table and sat on its edge. “Exactly are you doing with all of these?”

             The girl was smart enough to look a bit embarrassed, she'd give her that much. Not without shame. Good.

             “Well, uh, kind of complicated, but, uh, the boys said that I couldn’t manage to grab their favorite things.”

             Selina looked the girl over. She was probably the new one to the group, the spotted French girl Jagged Stone mentioned in a few of his songs. She was young, and clearly good at getting what she wanted.

             “Where’s Jason’s?”

             “Uh, how did you…”

             “Answer the question.”

             “… behind the gardener’s shed. He really needs to stop leaving his keys in easy access pockets.”

             Selina nodded, looking over the girl. She was twisting a familiar looking ring… wasn’t that one of the Wayne family rings!?

             “How did you get that off Bruce?” Selina feigned nonchalance.  

             “… don’t judge me.”

             “Too late. Talk.”

             “Accidentally, I swear, just, he left the safe open and mid-terms stress and then…” the girl gestured helplessly.

             Selina could appreciate the honesty. She could also appreciate that the girl managed to get something off each boy.

             But now came the real test.

             “Kleptomaniac kind?”

             The girl flushed harder. “Yeah… I was going to return it, eventually… I think.”

             Selina looked over the girl once more, suddenly seeing an opportunity she should have taken back when she first saw Tim stalking her bats way back when. She could use her own mini.

             “How do you feel about cats?”

             Marinette shifted gears at that. “Real, memes, or Chat Noir?” Selina could feel there was a story there, one for another time. “If we’re talking real, they’re amazing, the memes are fun and Chat is…” the girl shook her head. “Complicated. And in London apparently, so he can’t judge me for my poor life choices.”

             Oh, Selina likes this one. “I’m guessing you’re Brucie’s latest pet project?”

             Marinette scrunched up her face at that. “I’m here to force a sense of fashion on this family if it kills me.”

             Selina smiled at that. “Oh, I do believe we’re going to get along wonderfully.” She extended her hand. “I go by Catwoman in the field.”

             Marinette paused for a moment before taking the extended hand with a grin of her own. “Ladybug—though we might want to go with something else for this... how do you feel about panjas bracelets?”

             Selina’s grin grew. “Oh, we’re going to get along perfectly.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

             In the Batcave there was a meeting being held by a distressed Nightwing, impatiently waiting for the others to finish arriving.

             “Batgirl?”

             “She’s not on tonight,” Red Robin answered, quietly sipping his espresso in one of his lesser mugs. It seems like his bean got to his favorite earlier…

             “Black Bat?” Nightwing asked Batman.

             “She’s running with the Birds of Prey tonight—Oracle’s idea.”

             Nightwing seemed to accept this. “I’ll just forward them the power point.”

             Red Robin groaned. “Another one?”

             Red Hood shook his head. “Blame B. He got it in Dickie’s head that this is how you explain things to people. Bullet points.”

             “No names in the field,” Robin snapped.

             “No names in the field,” Red Hood mocked under his breath.

             Robin glared at him for that.

             “It’s a very effective method.” Batman stated defensively.

             “Yeah, on the League,” Red Robin grumbled into his coffee. The Batfam is full of (not really) professional detectives—they are capable of understanding without the bullet points of doom. Mostly.

             “Then I’ll just get started, Agent A, Lights!”

             The batcave dimmed to show only the projection of a power point title slide ‘Marinette Cannot Meet Selina, Ever.’

             “What the hell is this?” whispered Red Hood.

             “I allowed you to delay patrol, for this?” Batman sighed.

             “Silence! Nightwing is speaking.”

             “Thank you Robin, now, Marinette is under no circumstances to meet Selina.”

             “Why doesn’t he have to use codenames?” Red Hood wondered aloud. Only to be kicked by an aggressive Robin. “Ow! What the hell demon spawn!”

             “Silence,” Robin hissed.

             “As I Was Saying,” Nightwing loudly began. “Marinette is not allowed to meet Selina. It would be a disaster for us all.”

             “Its not she’d adopt her like a certain someone is trying to,” Red Hood stated, pointedly ignoring Robin’s attempts to silence him with threats of violence.

             Nightwing changed the slide with a sigh. “Exhibit A: Marinette enjoys shiny things, and so does Selina.”

             The slide showed two pictures, one of Marinette in various miraculous while holding one of Damian’s daggers, and the other of Selina with a very large gemstone necklace.

“Exhibit B, they are both prone to theft.”

             The next slide showed Catwoman stealing a necklace from a museum, and Marinette in Batman’s cape while using Tim’s phone and wearing one of Jason’s leather jackets, Titus laying at her feet.

             “Marinette does not stop at shiny things, as we can expect of Selina,” Robin explained.

             “You’re just mad Pixie managed to get past your security.”

             Robin glared at Red Hood.

             “That doesn’t explain why bean shouldn’t meet Selina,” Red Robin said. “Hm, maybe I should change the bean blend again? not getting enough of a buzz.”

             Nightwing sighed, changing the slide again. “If the two meet, we lose all we hold dear.”

             This time the slide showed a photoshopped Marinette and Selina sitting on a pile of miscellaneous objects.

             Batman sighed, deciding his eldest was just being overdramatic again.

             “Mari will learn new tricks from Selina.” Nightwing stated slowly. “Tag team with Selina, maybe even be the Robin to her Batman.” That got the room’s attention, albeit not the kind Nightwing wanted. “It would not just be Mari’s minor thefts anymore.”

             Red Robin rolled his eyes while Red Hood snorted a “yeah right.”

             Robin looked nervously as Nightwing finished his powerpoint.

             “Mari would rule Gotham and no one, not even us, would be able to stop her.”

             Batman decided that they wasted enough time on Nightwing’s bout of paranoia. “I highly doubt Selina would corrupt her.”

             At that moment a beaming stripped heroine walked in, wearing a new string of necklaces, with Catwoman at her side with an amused look of her own.

             “How dare you try to hide a kitten from me.”

             Nightwing threw his hands up. “I told you!”

             Batman stared while Robin began checking their systems… no alarms had gone off anywhere and they all knew the pair had stolen the necklaces that Marinette was sporting.

             Nightwing was right.  

             “Holy shit is this really happening?” Red Robin half-whispered, looking back and forth between the pair and a shocked Batman. “Is Catmom pulling a Batdad?”

             Catwoman flashed a smile. “Since someone wouldn’t let me take any birdies, I decided to take a kitten of my own.”

             “Why didn’t you tell me I could have more moms here!” Marinette exclaimed.

             At the groups growing look of horror, Catwoman’s grin grew. “Oh, I forgot to mention, Harley and Ivy are back. They want joint custody. She’s the Marigold Harley’s been tweeting about.”

---

first thing i do after getting real internet back plus have the time to think, and its write and post this. hope you all enjoyed!

[dgcatanisiri]

So... something kinda hit me abruptly and pushed me to feeling about ready to snap, so... Have a word vomit. Kinda feels like a greatest hits compilation of  my “another angry queer rant” tag, but I need to get it out, so...

I know I’ve been over plenty about how I don’t feel represented even when I have something with gay representation. How I’d give dozens of Dorians and Iron Bulls to get even one run of Inquisition that properly has my male Inquisitor romance Cullen. How when I look at Mass Effect - this franchise that I love - I can only see how much it hates me for being a gay man who dares to seek content for me. How godawful it is that Gil’s story, a story that is explicitly a story centered on a gay man and the difficulties he faces BECAUSE of being gay, was written by a straight person who ABSOLUTELY does not GET. IT. And how fandom as an entity sucks, because so often it feels like the attitude of the people in it comes across as telling me that my desire to be represented in my media somehow comes in second to celebrating the advances solely for women, that my needs as a queer MAN (the emphasis usually theirs) are less important, because I can still see myself AS A MAN in other characters throughout media.

But... That doesn’t change the fact that this is a very real, very tangible THING for me to grapple with. And sometimes it feels like no one ever, EVER talks about this.

I mean, my go-to example is that after Inquisition dropped, you could not say A WORD in criticism of Dorian without people jumping down your throat, chomping at the bit to call you a homophobe for it. No matter what reason - but ESPECIALLY if you thought he was “too stereotypical” - you got hit with that label. Even if you were gay yourself, it was just your “internalized homophobia” that made you dislike him, or even being biased against the people who genuinely do lean in to the stereotypes, don’t they deserve representation too?!

Well, yeah. It’s not like I was saying they don’t. But that it’s a stereotype means it’s often still in media, still often THERE. It’s not always good representation, but it’s something. Meanwhile for those of us who AREN’T? It just meant further exclusion from the narratives. A continuation of our invisibility.

And sure, one queer character cannot represent every queer person, one individual who embodies one letter of the alphabet soup cannot be everything to everyone under that individual label. But, again, it still means that I don’t get to see myself.

If media representation is a life preserver, then I’m getting pulled out to sea while the lifeguards are busy with people who are closer to them than I am. Which, you can call it triage, cast the widest net to hope to get the most people, but when you’re one of those who are not even able to grab on to the net and use it to pull yourself closer, it’s not helping. And, because they’re focused on those who have grabbed on to the net, your struggle continues to be ignored.

Worse, sometimes they aren’t factoring you in the net they’re throwing (yes, I’m aware my metaphor is getting increasingly strained, just work with me here) because they think you’re not in the trouble they think others are - if you can “pass” as cishet, if you can exist without actively fearing for your safety, if you are the kind of person who can walk down the street and not expect to be harassed because you “present” gay, then you’re not as in need as those people who can’t, who are going to be threatened for existing while visibly queer.

But the truth is that you’re still suffering. I’m not gonna get in to the whole oppression Olympics nature of it all, but there is an element that those of us who “pass” as being “straight-acting” (and, for the record, I think these terms are bogus and bullshit, but I’m using them for the sake of simplicity in getting my message across, because I’m stream of consciousnessing this post instead of going to bed so you’re getting babble and word vomit so that this isn’t playing on a loop as I try and sleep) suffer that... I’m not going to say that it makes it worse, but it does have this level of SOMETHING that is a unique pain that you aren’t going to find from the people who are visibly and noticeably queer at a glance - it’s not just isolation, because this is something that you end up not talking about because no one around you realizes that you are queer, but also this voice in the back of your mind that starts questioning “are you REALLY queer? Are you queer ENOUGH?”

And that’s why it hurts that little bit more, is that much more a twist of the knife, when I see these people who push the “joke” of like “why did they even HAVE male Shepard?” or “the only way to play is as Kassandra.” Because it does reinforce this idea - that there is this attitude of this thing, this character that I was seeing as representation doesn’t matter. So that I take strength in that character, well, that’s just me latching on to REPRESENTATION AS A MAN, and we’re not here to protect your fragile masculine ego.

When all I’m looking for is a queer man like I am.

And sometimes, I don’t even feel like the other queer men I can look to get it. Like, there was that time about a year ago that I looked up issues of queer men in video games, and the three videos I found all got an “...and NOPE!” reaction from me - the first argued in math about how “queer people are a small portion of the population, we can’t realistically expect to be represented equally,” even though we’re talking about FICTION, which is, by definition, NOT reality, the second was clearly a cishet who compared not being represented as a queer person to not being represented as a Swedish person, and then a third who first had a thumbnail on a video of “good and bad representation” and Kaidan was the example of bad (so a negative mark against this video to begin with, but I was desperate), only to lead with Dorian as a good example, which... *vague motion above and at the “dorian critical” tag* I staunchly disagree with this stance.

Like... I have to struggle to think of who my role models in being a queer man are. It’s not just who fits my story, but who do I look up to, who inspires me. And, admittedly, the luster for any personal hero seems to inevitable wear off at this point, I’m in my early thirties, and most of the media I consume will have characters who are my age or younger PERIOD, so my queer heroes would have to be people I’d consider either peers or even someone who I am older than...

But then, that’s kinda the thing about being queer period - we lost a generation to AIDS, and for those who followed that generation, we’ve had to live in this world where our heroes don’t exist like us, while trying to pave the way for those who come after us, and who can’t conceive of what it is like to age - as in “go from adulthood to middle age to elder,” not just the matter of growing up from childhood to adulthood - and so even as they’re the one who we want to give all of this to... It still means we suffer because no one is there to offer US that hand.

And yet, try to explain this to media creators, and you get ignored or even shut down. Like, I about a year ago, I directly replied to tweet from Patrick Weekes, explaining how Inquisition failed me, how all bi LIs actually HELP me feel more represented as a queer person than the mix of sexualities that BioWare on the whole has said that they intend to do (re: the difference of LIs in DA2 and Dragon Age Inquisition). It got no response, not even a like to indicate that it’d been read by them. I could form in my head the response I’d have inevitably gotten from David Gaider when he still had an active Tumblr of what would amount to, nicest, “we cannot please everyone, enough people were moved by Dorian’s story to make it worthwhile, sorry.” Given some of my cynicism, I can’t help but believe that it would also have come with a “sorry you feel that way.” Particularly considering some of the comments he’s made about Cullen and Kaidan as LIs, both of whom being characters I connect to more than others in their respective games...

And like... Gaider is a gay man. Weekes is nonbinary. But they are from that generation who view being able to exist openly as queer as a revolutionary statement, which... It’s a statement I want to make, sure, but it’s not a revolutionary one to me - “existence” is the bare minimum. To me, focusing on existence as a queer person is to say that the queer character must justify existing as queer in order to be a part of the narrative. But what is revolutionary to me is to give the queer person a story in the narrative that has NOTHING to do with their queerness.

Like... Fantasy world here, Inquisition drops with Cullen and Cassandra as same-sex exclusive LIs, while every other aspect of their stories are the same. Women can’t romance Cullen, Men can’t romance Cassandra. Other than that, we have Cullen with his addiction/redemption arc and Cassandra not just struggling with her faith but even getting the chance to be Divine. Yes, fandom would FLIP. THE FUCK. OUT. But here’s what it says - the things that these characters go through in the course of the game are not defined by their sexuality. Hell, with these characters specifically, you get characters with MASSIVE relevance to queer stories that AREN’T exclusive to being queer - addiction is a real issue in queer communities, given how many of our safe spaces are bars or clubs, places where alcohol (and thus alcohol abuse) is easily obtained, and, by extension, drugs as well. Meanwhile, there are SCORES of queer people who struggle with the question of faith in the wake of their queerness manifesting.

THAT is revolutionary. To take these stories that straight people get all the time, that certainly have meaning as queer stories for the queer audience... And yet, when they go to these (hypothetically) queer characters, it has that subtext without making the story ABOUT their queerness, while still making it clear that, in this version of things, they are queer - players couldn’t pretend that it’s only in some parallel universe that they are queer, they would only be attracted to the same sex PC. THAT is revolutionary.

Or, y’know, take it back beyond BioWare for a little bit here - all the characters I feel the most connection to emotionally in TV shows are straight. All these men who are my role models only ever get shown being involved with women. At most, they’ll get queerbaited as MAYBE being queer, if you just keep watching! Inevitably, of course, they are not queer by the end of the show - the closest to date is the debacle that is Supernatural.

Yeah, there’s representation for ya.

And then there are those who end up looking at what I see as thoroughly inadequate and... They’re happy. They praise it. They look at this thing that hurts me, that excludes me, that can, when I’m in the bad headspaces, even make me question myself... And they have found something they like with it.

Which, for the record, good for them, genuinely and sincerely, I really am glad that someone is getting something out of this, but... Well, see above: life preserver, isolation, “sorry you feel that way.” Everyone else is getting what they needed, but what about me? When does my representation get to appear? Why am I always being left, scrounging for the scraps of the scraps? Why does other peoples’ representation always seem to get shoved to the front of the line, leaving me languishing in the back.

That’s the real thing about all of those lines of “if you don’t like it, go make your own!” At this point, even if I did manage to get something in my to-write folder cleaned up and ready to go, in reality... How am I supposed to feel like anyone other than me WOULD proceed to read it? That the audience would exist? Because... no one seems to care about this audience. Hell, how would I get anyone to publish it if it is only going to appeal to me?

I feel on the margins of the margins, where no one really cares. Hell, even here in my own blog, I feel afraid of backlash - I’ve had the assholes show up in response to like little brief comments that are off-the-cuff rambles, not worded in a way that makes them a full, detailed accounting, and either take them as evidence that I, personally, represent all that is wrong with fandom at large, or that I am a target for their trolling. Because saying that “I find the jokes about male Shepard not mattering to be diminishing of me as a queer person, can we please stop this?” is somehow not just lesbophobic, but VIOLENTLY lesbophobic. Or that saying that I don’t care that bad things happen to a fictional species is somehow advocating for violence against actual women. Or even explicitly calling out BioWare for lovingly lingering the camera on Miranda’s ass is slutshaming her. And of course, there are the assholes who responded to me saying on the BioWare Twitter announcement post for the Legendary Edition that, if it didn’t have a full trilogy male Shepard/Kaidan romance, I wasn’t buying it, and proceeded to a) call me entitled for it (like, read a dictionary, the very fact that I have to call for this content that doesn’t exist in the game proper is the OPPOSITE of entitlement...), b) tell me that I “shouldn’t deny [myself] a great story just because it doesn’t have gay people in it” and c) just generally be homophobic. Even in rolling with it on the basis of “the trolls are gonna show up period if you make it clear that you care about something, especially if you are trying to get representation for some group that is in the minority... It gets exhausting. It can be harmful. It makes it clear that you’re not welcome, even when you’re supposedly united by the fact that you and these people supposedly love the same piece of media.

I mean, among those examples, I’ve given the statements that inspired those responses no tags other than my own organizational tags, but SOMEHOW they find me anyway, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I got accused of like being another White Gay™ with this post, that I simply want to center the conversation wholly on myself at the expense of all other intersections of queerness and other identities or something for saying all of this, even though this is, and it says so from the start, a vent post, which, by definition, is centered on myself because it’s about me and my experiences and emotions. *sigh*

Anyway...

And, y’know, when BioWare actively refuses to even ACKNOWLEDGE that the absence of a full trilogy M/M romance option is a bad thing, it just ends up saying that the trolls are actually the audience they’re willing to court. That Supernatural ending with a brothers only focus that doesn’t even allow Cas to be mentioned other than offhandedly while suppressing ANY kind of emotional fallout to his admission of love says that they don’t care about the queer people who at the very least the actor was trying to be respectful and representative of. That every piece of media that says that to have a queer person in it, their presence must be explained and justified is saying that there needs to be a REASON for queerness, a reason that is not “because people are queer, and queer people come in as many stripes as cishet people, and so media should reflect that spectrum just as much.”

Even when the numbers of queer characters in media goes up, it doesn’t really move the needle. And that’s not even getting to the difficulties when you are any mix-and-match combo under the queer umbrella, or any other identity that intersects to marginalize someone in our society. It just...

Y’know, it doesn’t feel like “it gets better.” Rather it just feels like being stuck in position, just with a changing backdrop. Sure, things look different by the end of the day, but that doesn’t change that you’re not getting anywhere.

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 1 – A Mental Mindfuck Can Be Nice – an introduction to EMP theory

I amused myself whilst writing this meta by coming up with referential chapter titles – the song to title this chapter can be found here! (X)

I’m not the first person to propose EMP [extended mind palace] theory and I certainly can’t claim to take the credit for it! After TFP (well, after Apple Tree Yard aired really) I left the fandom, and only rejoined tjlc this year during lockdown and discovered the theory that the entirety of S4 takes place in Sherlock’s Mind Palace, not just TAB, and that even more crucially, the EMP section of the narrative doesn’t happen because of Sherlock’s overdose but rather after Mary shoots him in HLV. Other people have elaborated as to why this is in greater detail and I certainly don’t want to steal their thunder – you can find some of my favourite metas on this here! X X X The original founders’ post is here and great X – it should be noted that the concept of EMP theory appeared way before the superficial shitshow that was series 4, so it was not invented as a fix-it – far from it! 

As well as that, tweets from Arwel Wyn Jones (production designer) and Douglas MacKinnon (TAB director) here X X suggest that a lot of the inconsistencies that make HLV onwards quite dreamlike are absolutely deliberate, which has never been explained in the context of the show. In fact, Douglas MacKinnon specifically suggests that the plane could be in Sherlock’s mind, which has no bearing on the superficial plot unless you buy into EMP theory. We’ve also already been shown that the modern day, particularly when it’s fucky, can be in a mind palace illusion in TAB, and we can read that as a kind of rehearsal for the proper fucky mind palace stuff in S4, a clue that everything is not as it seems – much like the Mayfly Man’s murder rehearsal in TSoT.

It's worth pointing out that there are several different versions of EMP theory – I personally subscribe to the idea that this is Sherlock’s mind palace after being shot by Mary, but there are plenty of popular theories on John’s ‘Mind Bungalow’, blog theory, which I don’t want to dismiss out of hand. However, I think the obsession with the figure of Sherlock Holmes and who that might be throughout the fourth series is thematically consistent with it being from Sherlock’s perspective, as is the precedent from TAB.

The other thing I want to lay on the table as foundational to this theory is the fandom’s obsession with TPLoSH [1970 Billy Wilder queer Holmes adaptation, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes]. Mofftiss have long stated their love for TPLoSH and even that it is the adaptation that has most inspired them, and I don’t know a single tjlcer who doesn’t have this quotation from Wilder emblazoned onto their memory.

I should have been more daring. I have this theory. I wanted to have Holmes homosexual and not admitting it to anyone, including maybe even himself. The burden of keeping it secret was the reason he took dope. X

What I’m proposing here is that whilst we’ve thought about this quote quite a lot, we’ve always focused on the first half – that Sherlock Holmes is a homosexual – and not the second, which is that that’s the reason he’s on dope. We talk a bit about Sherlock being upset in HLV about John’s marriage and that being why he turns back to drugs, and likewise when TAB first aired a lot of people (myself included) thought he was ODing because he wasn’t going to see John again. I now think – and will provide evidence through the meta! – that it isn’t his feelings of (seemingly) unrequited love which are sending him to drugs, nor that the EMP is a place where he’s discovering his feelings – my meta here X is not the first to point out that Sherlock almost definitely deduces his own feelings for John in TSoT, in a case of the worst timing in television history. Instead, much like Wilder’s Holmes, I think our Sherlock is dealing with a huge amount of shame and internalised homophobia, which has metafictionally* been building up since Conan Doyle started writing – hence the trip back to 1895 in TAB.  S4 is about breaking through over a century of Holmes adaptations which have formed Sherlock’s own version of himself, so that he can break out of them into a ‘Private Life’ outside of established canon.

*Metafictionality is the defining idea around my version of EMP theory, so for anybody who’s not familiar I’m going to do a quick run down. The idea behind metafictionality is that Sherlock is aware of itself as being a work of fiction and deliberately plays with that – in this case, I’m arguing that the character Sherlock is subconsciously aware of the history of book/film/tv adaptations of Sherlock Holmes, and his existence outside Sherlock builds up to create his internalised homophobia. Sounds mad? Maybe. But stick with me here. The reason it’s taking so long for Sherlock to process his sexuality is not just because he’s repressed, but because he’s dealing with the weight of other Holmes adaptations – which is the reason arguably that a modern audience would also take so long to accept it, longer than were this character not such a huge part of the Western psyche.

My aims from this meta:

1.       To prove that tjlc remains endgame (eh, if there’s a series 5)

2.      To show that s4 is about Sherlock trying to break out of his MP coma after being shot by Mary

3.      That s4 engages with the history of Sherlock Holmes adaptations through the character of Sherlock investigating his psyche

4.      That in the real (non-MP) world, John is suicidal, and Sherlock has to wake up to save him.

Chapter 1 – A Mental Mindfuck Can Be Nice: a quick summary of EMP theory

Chapter 2 – Look up here, I’m in Heaven: the height metaphor

Chapter 3 – Death Cannot Stop True Love [HLV 1/1]

Chapter 4 – It is always 1895 [TAB 1/1]

Chapter 5 – Hey, Soul Sister: Who is Eurus?

Chapter 6 – So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish [TST 1/2]

Chapter 7 – There’s Something About Mary [TST 2/2]

Chapter 8 – Dream a Little Dream of Me: parallels with Doctor Who

Chapter 9 – Rock’n’roll Suicide [TLD 1/2]

Chapter 10 – Oh No Love, You’re Not Alone [TLD 2/2]

Chapter 11 – The Importance of Being Earnest [TFP 1/3]

Chapter 12 – Three Men in a Boat [TFP 2/3]

Chapter 13 – Out of My Dreams [TFP 3/3]

I’ll (ideally) be uploading a chapter a day for the next 13 days. Some of these chapters will contain links to later chapters; if that chapter isn’t uploaded yet, I’ll add in the link retrospectively, so that might be why the links don’t all work on first read. With chapters that have an episode in parentheses beside, I strongly recommend either watching the episode before reading the meta, or even better to do a simultaneous read and watch through with your finger on the pause button. The only episode which doesn’t do a play by play is TLD 1/2 , purely for time reasons (my college term starts very soon and I really needed this meta put to bed for the sake of my degree!).

The other thing worth saying is that if you want this meta as a word document for some reason, drop me a message – I’m more than happy to share it that way as well. It is a cool 50k so takes some reading. This chapter has been a bit of a nothing, but I hope it lays the groundwork for what to expect from the next 12 – I’ll see you over the next 12 days!

[harrowdubois]

okay, i said if there was interest i would think about making a post listing all the references i squeezed into the locked tomb fic i spent the last month or so writing, and now i’ve realised i don’t care if there’s interest because i want to be self-indulgent SO

under the cut is a (somewhat spoilery) chronological list of all the memes, vines, and cribbed tumblr posts, as well as homages to various books, tv shows, song lyrics, etc. that made their way into blessed with a wilder mind! 

(cw for suicide mention)

this is of course a reference to the legendary bodybuilding forum thread where they did, actually, argue over how many days there are in a week (cw for ableist slurs in the thread)

---

buzzfeed unsolved meme. i am dirt and i love to eat dirt

---

this is so well-known it’s almost not worth listing it but oh my god they were roommates

---

in itself, this isn’t a reference to anything in particular, but if you didn’t do this on your first read then i’d recommend taking another look at this scene and thinking about the specific wuthering heights/frankenstein/rebecca excerpts discussed by harrow and mercymorn but in relation to canon!harrow’s trauma/relationship with the body in htn :~) 

---

also not really a reference to anything in particular but when i looked back over the fic for this post it struck me that the ‘sex panther’ phrasing was probably at least partially unconsciously inspired by the shoebox project (professor mcgonagall’s oiled man panther was a formative moment for me, truly)

---

cw gross/unsanitary: it’s the tinder poop window incident. i mentioned this in the end notes of the fic as being what i had in mind for that scene but if it’s too gross for you (UNDERSTANDABLY) then feel free to Death Of The Author me to your heart’s content!

---

i listened to a lot of orville peck while writing this

---

 very very very loosely inspired by this clickhole article

---

respectively: fourth of july by sufjan stevens / wuthering heights by emily bronte

---

TWO BROS, CHILLIN IN A HOT TUB, FIVE FEET APART BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT GAY

---

there was absolutely no need to stretch this across three paragraphs, and yet

---

iconic

---

i already linked to this one in the end notes of the fic itself, but it’s good, so here it is again

---

 i can’t find the actual original post but it’s this fucking horrible thing 

---

the last line is a reference to the secret history by donna tartt:

“Could it be because it reminds us that we are alive, of our mortality, of our individual souls- which, after all, we are too afraid to surrender but yet make us feel more miserable than any other thing? But isn't it also pain that often makes us most aware of self? It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one's burned tongues and skinned knees, that one's aches and pains are all one’s own. Even more terrible, as we grow old, to learn that no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us. Our own selves make us most unhappy, and that's why we're so anxious to lose them, don't you think?”

---

a lyrical double whammy!

from ‘last words of a shooting star’ by mitski: “they’ll never know how i’d stared at the dark in that room with no thoughts like a blood-sniffing shark”

from ‘a better son/daughter’ by rilo kiley: “sometimes in the morning i am petrified but can’t move/awake but cannot open my eyes” 

---

*

shout-out to maybe my single favourite video game moment, the encounter with the sky cat in night in the woods: “There is a hole at the center of everything, and it is always growing. Between the stars I am seeing it. It is coming, and you are not escaping, and the universe is forgetting you, and the universe is being forgotten, and there is nothing to remember it, not even the things beyond. And now there is only the hole... You are atoms, and your atoms are not caring if you are existing. Your atoms are monstrous existence.”

---

“Nothing is ever fulfilled, not until the very end.” - rust cohle, true detective s1, this reference is VERY tonally dissonant because in context it’s actually grim as all hell but w/e w/e i couldn’t resist the shout-out

also harrow quotes from the goldfinch again here! i had the reference included before i read this post and realised tamsyn muir also quotes from the secret history in htn. terrible synergy 

---

they are in fact all real. you’re welcome

---

this one’s doing a lot of work lmao. it’s paying homage to this quote by tamsyn muir talking about the draco-in-leather-pants trope in relation to ianthe by loosely referencing drop dead gorgeous, the best drarry fic ever written, in which harry is part veela

---

“It's a very Greek idea, and a very profound one. Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful, to souls like the Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves? Euripides speaks of the Maenads: head thrown I back, throat to the stars, "more like deer than human being." To be absolutely free! One is quite capable, of course, of working out these destructive passions in more vulgar and less efficient ways. But how glorious to release them in a single burst! To sing, to scream, to dance barefoot in the woods in the dead of night, with no more awareness of mortality than an animal! These are powerful mysteries. The bellowing of bulls. Springs of honey bubbling from the ground. If we are strong enough in our souls we can rip away the veil and look that naked, terrible beauty right in the face; let God consume us, devour us, unstring our bones. Then spit us out reborn.” - that’s right it’s another reference to the secret history, with a little bit of mary oliver (tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?) sprinkled on top for flavour

--- 

a small one, but it’s the goldfinch again: “And I feel I have something very urgent and serious to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you...”

---

my FUCKING cinnamon apple

 what if i... put my minecraft bed.... next to yours... aha ha just kidding.... unless?

---

[cw: suicide discussion in these next two]

*

robyn can have little a rust cohle quote, as a treat.

1. “I'd consider myself a realist, all right? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist... I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself. We are creatures that should not exist by natural law... We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, that accretion of sensory experience and feelings, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody's nobody... I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction; one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.”

2. “This... This is what I'm talking about. This is what I mean when I'm talkin' about time, and death, and futility. All right, there are broader ideas at work, mainly what is owed between us as a society for our mutual illusions. Fourteen straight hours of staring at DBs, these are the things you think of. You ever done that? You look in their eyes, even in a picture, doesn't matter if they're dead or alive, you can still read 'em. You know what you see? They welcomed it... Not at first, but... right there in the last instant. It's an unmistakable relief. See, cause they were afraid, and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just... let go. Yeah, they saw, in that last nanosecond, they saw... what they were. You, yourself, this whole big drama, it was never more than a jerry-rig of presumption and dumb will, and you could just let go. To finally know that you didn't have to hold on so tight. To realize that all your life - you know, all your love, all your hate, all your memories, all your pain - it was all the same thing. It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person.”

---

ahaaa this one’s particularly rough. evil monkey no one alive dot jpg

“Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see or feel that it was Jack he held. And maybe, he thought, they’d never got much farther than that. Let be, let be.” - annie proulx, brokeback mountain

---

a TRIPLE lyrical whammy!

- harrow’s words to gideon in the dream are a bit of a vague reference to the song ‘adventures in solitude’ by the new pornographers (”we thought we lost you/welcome back”) - gideon’s words to harrow are a reference to the song ‘blush’ by wolf alice (”you’ve got two hands to take all you can/but don’t take too long”) - what harrow texts to gideon is a line from ‘about today’ by the national, aka the most devastating song ever written (”hey, are you awake?/yeah i’m right here”...)

---

i CANNOT find a clip of it but harrow’s repetition of “life is short... it’s short” was me paraphrasing from memory a line from pride (2014), because i am the worst

---

spooky scary skeletons! 

“jail for gideon” is obviously a reference to the “jail for mother” tweet that tm also referenced in htn. so, not original in the slightest, but it’s a great tweet

---

one of my favourite tumblr posts

---

because naberius tern absolutely would watch rick and morty. he would. i know it in my heart. 

---

and that’s it, i think. hope you enjoyed this horrid little post and my horrid little fic!

[dalanmendonca]

#30DayChallenge Complete!

This post is better read on this Twitter thread.

Preserving the outline here for posterity.

Just finished my #30DayChallenge. Wrote every for morning for 30 minutes and published right away for 30 days straight.

Sharing my pain, process, and learnings from doing this successfully for the first time.

I've been blogging for 12 years now, but my problem has always consistency. I'd say I'm a decent writer. Some of my blog posts get "wows", and the words of encouragement from a friend and strangers. "You should write more" they would say. "Yes" I would reply, but nothing would come after.

Writing has been on my annual goals list since 2014, but I never managed to turn it into habit. There would be fits and start and eventually things would taper off. Life would get it in the way.

My perspective changed when I read "Atomic Habits" last year and encountered the parable of the Photography class

<insert screenshot>

This deeply resonated and also left me like a complete idiot. I was exactly the person focused on quality - reading blogs, books, spewing intellectual jargon but rarely producing output. I had a solid focus on ritual, pages and pages of blog post ideas but extraordinarily little in terms of actual posts written.

I tried to implement it last year too but failed again. Pandemic, first wave lockdowns and challenges at work meant the habit petered out again.

So when the second wave hit, I decided I could divert some time away from my doom-scrolling and attempt this again.

Happy to report that 30 posts, 16K words, 24 hours of writing. The deed is done and the challenge is complete.

Process

Fix a time: I wrote first thing in the morning. I am working full-time and things pop-up. Murphy's' Law! So, getting this out first thing in the morning is a great trick to keep it going. The serenity of the morning works wonders too. But I think you can dedicate time post-work too.

Think small: My goal was "Just write for 30 minutes and publish".

Allow errors: I cared little about typos, links to background context, formatting or anything else. This was not my magnum opus, my goal was just writing consistently and forming a new habit.

Minimize activation energy: I prepared a list of topics when I was starting the challenge. This meant I didn't open my editor and think "Uuhhhhh what do I write about today"?. The topics were ideas I knew about or had mentally munched at least a few times. The ingredients were on the table, I just had to show up and cook.

Choose simple tools: I also wrote straight in Tumblr's editor from where I could hit the publish button and be done. Didn't bother with my typical process of a fancy distraction free markdown editor with immaculate controls, and then pasting that into Tumblr and reformatting and ...

Setup accountability: I would publish and ping a few folks the link right away. This way someone would notice if I missed a day. It triggered conversations and felt intimate. Felt like tweeting would add pressure, so stuck to this.

Learnings

The first thing I (re)discovered was, I loved writing! Writing is such a therapeutic activity. Getting absorbed in the task, hitting a state of flow and putting things on a page was pure fun and joy. I budgeted 30 minutes but wrote for an average of 45. I cannot believe a bad habit formation process kept me from this accessible and enjoyable hobby for decades now.

Quality of posts - I was surprised that many of my posts were pareto good. They were achieving what I would've spent 3-5 hours writing about. Parkinsons Law at work?

Another thing was discovering two kinds of posts - experience and analysis. Writing about my experiences was very well suited to the 30-minute morning dash of flowing emotion. But writing about a more serious topic needed some outline to be in place first. I absolutely cannot (and should not) churn out a "Zomato IPO: Thoughts" in 30 minutes; but I can definitely tackle one part of it.

And that's that!

I plan to continue this habit. Hope you find this useful and inspiring and can skip a decade of failing!

If you want to tag along. Subscribe to my newsletter https://tinyletter.com/dalanmendonca

Posting schedule: Whenever I have something worth sending out. No pressure for me, less inbox clutter for you.

My blog is here https://blog.dalanmendonca.com/ but it is pure unfiltered mixture of occasional brilliance and consistent crap. Follow if you dare.

Cheers!

[amarscollyon]

@bunnydelphine Hi Belle. I've written a lot for you. I care about you & I aim to change the entire world. I hope you have the time to read it, or listen to the audio recording as it should make you happy & hopeful, & I need a little support to achieve the goal. Link to hear my voice here:

or carry on reading...

So like, erm, hi....I joined Twitter recently, a vague plan in mind. I conceived a dozen tweets to begin explaining, & then I got carried away. I posted in reverse order so you can read down from here...It is around 15 minutes long

#BelleDelphine

The whole load of them is basically for you Belle, & I hope it can make you smile, & feel good. There is good & bad in the world, & good & bad attention you will receive. This is intended, honed, & perfected, to make you happy, show you your worth to me & the future, & keep you safe as we move forward, & it's just the start...

The extra good part is - I ask nothing from you but the time to read it, & be happy, as your smile is worth more than the universe to me...I'd love nothing more than to know just once I was the cause of it creeping across your face, making you feel warm, & maybe even...blushing..

You're nothing but an absolute treasure, a joy without limit, & the most exquisite heart ache I could ever have wished for or imagined.

So, hello world. It is clear to me that there is too much pain on this planet & for it's denizens. It is just as clear that many innocent folk need change but no one really knows how. No one can begin. But I am a spiritual master & linked to spirits that have shown me a great deal is possible, & I can help guide us all towards a much happier, safer future.

Thing is, I am slightly premature here. Ok so, as stated, I am here to save the future. Obviously, I can't do it alone. It's really all about connections, as you would expect from someone who is working on behalf of the beyond. Life itself is about love, & it isn't about our ego, our personal goals, or desires. I do what I do for all of us. So it follows I can't just do it without some of you helping out in whatever way is possible.

I need money, laughably, in order to kill the finance system. Not as much as you'd guess, but I need a start...We cannot continue to use this invented resource as it is. In a purely mechanical sense it guarantees selfishness & greed end up controlling too much, whilst empathy, kindness & love, end up able to alter too little.

I intend to begin crowdfunding soon to raise startup capital, so a bit of publicity & presence is a big way you can help me easily.

I need advice & knowledge. Building a new way of self sufficient life will take an enormous amount of information & administration. In order to escape the system that dominates us & teaches us to abuse our own nature, we need to be free of restraint & able to produce all we need. Even making a list of all those things is no easy task, but it is quite possible to cover it all, with help.

I need connections.

Sooner or later I will post the plan with more details. But life & the path I walk through it, has it's detours I cannot always predict. I have learned to accept they always happen however, & always for a reason. When you achieve a certain level of connection to the beyond, & behave in natural ways, when your intent is to further the plan for all folk, then events in your life begin to happen just as you need them, synchronous moments that go way beyond coincidence & become miracles. One day I shall publish my journals from the last 7 years, as it shows my progress towards enlightenment, & explains how it is achieved. But this is one of many tasks & for now I have to begin travelling to find who & what I need, to found this community.

Riding the waves of intuition takes something too,

actually, 

I need your love.

My own huge heart does me well for me, no doubting it, yet it will only benefit with more care. 

It has to be real though, & of course everyone thinks they already know what love is,

but almost no one does.

So I may need help teaching everyone what it is.

I can show you, but you have to want to understand & have the courage to rise to it....Love is pretty scary...It isn't ever just about self, & it is the most amazing & transformative force there is.

I need to travel the world to meet people I need to meet, gain the knowledge & resources I need to found a community with a new way of living, turn desert into forest & work with nature to bring us all to greater joy. I will have to find some way to fund this travel too, & with my limitations & illness, the only way I can do it, is to make adult material. This means I need at least one willing partner, so if you aren't interested yourself, well, I am sure you have friends or followers who would be more than happy to help. With just one camgirl or entertainer, I can get the attention of the others. Don't get me wrong, I came to you Belle, because you don't just look nice, but you also move my heart & I was directed to discover you in ways I know from past experience are spirits showing me someone who is good, & also needs my help. But I am ready to accept it may not be what you want, yet I know if there is a good person there which is why I am drawn to you, then you will help in some way, directly or indirectly...

It will be a huge undertaking & will gather immense attention, so it can't hurt anyone's career, & I promise, I am good at what I do. As a shaman & spiritual teacher, sex is quite sacred to me, so you can be sure I can make it beneficial to my partner(s) & exciting & appealing to the audience. Done right, with enough courage to connect fully, it will bring whoever I am with a previously unknown level of calm, contentment, happiness & even mystical revelation. Of course, I will have plenty of people say I only do it for myself, but they're wrong, I was never one to seek casual interactions, it will be something new for me, but I do it because it is necessary & right.

Indeed, sex work is an essential part of modern life. It provides a valuable service to society, & receives too much criticism. The truth is that sex is divine & can be used to generate massive amounts of magical energy, & I honestly think the best thing for us all is to appreciate this. These are beautiful, amazing, special people. So many use their services. Yet they receive so much derision & scorn, & despite a reasonable wage, a lot of negative energy too, which can be harmful. So I want them to help me or work with me & prove to all just how special they can truly be, & thus I can help protect them.

So hey, that's the basics, good enough for now. I'll check in from time to time for dm's & responses here, & I'll be back one day to really kick this fucker off. I have to start getting a following by following others.

But so far I am following one account, which makes me look.... conspicuous? ....erm...yeah, I'm not saying anything about that for now...

The pinnacle of beauty itself can awaken us to the deepest & noblest of all loves.

It is actually quite common to be willing to die for someone you love, especially for men, (in extreme contrast to their also killing more of course.)

But something else entirely to be prepared to live, face all fears, conquer all obstacles & do what must be done.

Love alone can do this. Love alone can mean the person I was - is already dead & gone, & so now I can live to the fullest to provide the very best example of love I can. 

Love, 

true love, 

is a loss of self.

A death in a way.  

It is also a common wish to acquire a home for someone you love.

Again, knowing love deeper than most, it is quite another to recognize it is your sacred duty, to fix the entire messed up planet for those you love

& call it all,

home.

Safe, comforting, warm, & full of love.

If your love is true, then those you love deserve nothing less.

We all need it.

I find it so much easier to fight for it, for something I find such beauty in, because I recognize my heart & soul must be as pure & vibrant as I can make them, to be worthy of a beauty I find so truly

mind blowing

It is a duty, 

a chore, 

a sacrifice & more, 

to try to be worthy of what you find to be the highest point of love, inspired by something so beautiful, it takes your breath away

& kills you...

& to recognize that this true love means accepting that, 

unconditionally, 

I ask for nothing back that isn't in anyone to give.

Maybe one day it will be right to ask, 

"have you seen my heart & soul? They're unparalleled, because the love I felt looking at you is unparalleled, the beauty you possess has no equal, & so inspires me, demands of me to make my heart & soul as equally beautiful & unparalleled."

I cannot change my age,

or whether you like my physical properties much.

If you cannot love my heart & soul, then perhaps I cannot love you forever, as much as I desired... & I will suffer as I watch you suffer, for rejecting that purity which asks for nothing.

I am adored by the good in the beyond, so being unable to appreciate the good in my intangible properties would be nothing short of a curse.

If you simply cannot love my body, my more tangible properties, yet can love my heart,

well, that's ok, I would be happy my thoughts & deeds meant I could still wake up everyday 

& see 

your beautiful face,

& I'd be able to say, "I did this for you, & I have all I need. To bask in your presence, the warmth your images bring to me, is the most sublime peace & bliss I have ever known."

It is a chaotic whirlwind in my mind, I wont deny it,

yet always so controlled, & I know a mental peace I never thought I would, as a scared, anxious child.

Indeed nothing in life is wrong 

unless it is uncontrolled.

Thanks to you, my love, I can use the will & love I have to wipe out that which plagues humanity, & bring healing to so many.

The highest point to reach is truest purest love. For there is the inspiration to become gods, work wonders, & be the best thing you can be.

So. Not so conspicuous now. Let's make this super clear...

Mary-Belle Kirschner,

I love you with everything I have.

I want to make the world utterly safe for you, 

so you can be free to be whoever you wish to be

& love every possible moment living in it.

I have never in my life found anyone to be so alluring, inspiring, amazing, or motivating & you occupy my thoughts constantly. I do not ask you to do anything except be aware of this care, & accept I do this because you are so wonderful to me, & reach out now, like this, so you know you're worth the world.

I just want you to know how by being who & what you are, you are so special to me, that I can become what is needed to keep you that way.  This is all I need to keep me fueled to face the immense challenge it will be. I am here to save the future from the selfish inconsiderate apathy of most, & the deliberate control of an evil few, & I can do so because you are one of the few things I can say makes life truly worth living. 

Just seeing your smile shatters my heart into a billion pieces, & nothing matters more to me than making sure you are aware of how valuable I find you, so you can stay happy.

My reward is that from now on I get to see every part of you & your journey that you choose to share with me.

My reward is knowing you will not only be there for me to visually enjoy (& melt into bliss each time, 

oh how I wish I had words to help you feel how wonderful you make me feel just looking at you,)

My reward is knowing I've done the right thing,

but also knowing that you know, that simply by being, you made my world shine so brightly, that I achieved something wonderful,

maybe just like every hero you ever dreamed of

saving the future

& the princess?

& I can ask for nothing more than to be allowed to share whatever you desire to allow me to share.

To know you are free to be yourself, I can know unending utter rapture in admiring it

& I wont forget the understanding it brings that

I exist,

to love,

I exist,

to reduce pain & create greater joy,

& I brought it to you as best as any man ever could

with devotion unmatched

& asked for nothing but recognition & thanks.

I can not be a better role model for other people.

I cannot be a better lover & healer to the world.

I cannot be more than ultimate love!

& if you cannot love in return, well it would hurt you, 

so I'd find some way to make sure. Being the true will I am, means the true anyone else WOULD love me, so it would just come down to repairing any damage the world has already done to you.

Undoing anything that has taken you away from your true nature.

But I'd never ask for that love to give me anything it doesn't want to.

Love means your will is yours, not mine to coerce or demand or dominate...

Could it be the love story you were waiting for? 

Could it be you wish to save the future with me? 

Could it make the world weep & push things in place for everyone better than trying to scurry & hide like illegal aliens?

Whatever you answer, it can only gain momentum to aid my goal, & bring you to happiness. The love I have for you, however you receive it, can be used to make the world weep, & in so doing, wash away much sadness, & let happiness spring fresh once more in the sunshine.

Come. If you will, in spirit, take my hand.

For I am Apollo made flesh, since I merged with him in prayer in 2018.

My tarot told me you are my Pythia, I mean my first reading about you showed me that card & I then realized - that's why you picked that name, isn't it? You have that bust & Delphi is rather similar to Delphine...So, you are my oracle then? We should certainly meet if that's the case!

I already went to the Labyrinth as a child. I also swam in the pool near Pamukkale, not far from a temple to Apollo. Those are just a few of many more salient points. There is no doubt here, I know who I am & what I experienced.

Belle, I am a guide, a teacher, a healer, a lover, & I can be with anyone & help them in many ways. I am able to love all people, literally, all, but there are some I am drawn to with such intensity. My own desire is strong for you, without doubt, but I do not pursue anything for merely my own gain. You are truly so special to me, I am reiterating I ask only that you find your true heart & be who you wish to be, but I am sure that you are a wonderful person & would want to help make the world better for us all. I'm sure you can find a bit of time to interact with me here, & this alone would aid me immensely.

The kind of love I have, I sacrificed much to be able to give, & it is here to help us all, it cannot harm you

nor ask for more than you are prepared to give.

I'd do anything you asked,

as long as it wasn't evil,

but I'll never ask anything from you besides considering my advice,

as it's rooted in placing your needs before my own,

in agapic sacrifice of self,

to bring you anything you could ask for to know joy in life

However - you should always ultimately make your own choices, & not bend to others desire unless it is also your own.

You said you were lost....well, I have found you!

You asked to be adopted...I wont ever let you go unless you want me to...consider yourself adopted...

I'm also a really decent cook, & you need to eat better!!

Mary-Belle, you are truly amazing, wonderful, & beyond compare. Loving you these last few weeks since I discovered your existence, has been the most awesome & humbling series of miracles & unimaginable happiness for me.

I want you to know that & to feel it too.

It is beautiful, how you make me feel. Nothing compares. Nothing comes close. I wish you could let me help you feel it too.

Notice me senpai? I bloody noticed you! I hope you notice me back.

I said at the start, I'd need help saving the future, help teaching everyone what love is

Belle, even if you don't want to be with me, I hope you can interact with me & appreciate this devotion. For the world can benefit, as can you, whether you come to me, or on me, or not...

It would certainly help shut up those moronic critics inspired to spiteful jealousy by your magnificent gorgeousness. Folk who go through life criticizing others, do so because they have so little to offer anyone, & it is all they can do. I want to help you show them just how much you can do & make their lack so apparent they finally grow up. It all aids the future, the development of every person we can.

Regardless, I hope it makes you feel good, to mean so much to someone, who is one of the best people there is.

I'm sure that could sound arrogant, but you will find out if you simply give me time...

I wish you a really lovely day

my love & blessings,

always

muah...

[wanderleave]

My contribution for @jancyweek2019, which is, fair warning: absolute nonsense. Entirely inspired by this post made by @metropoliskid, which is based on this tweet.

Once again, I know my blog text is tiny, so go find this guy on AO3 if you wish.

Nancy Wheeler was twelve years old when she started dating Jonathan Byers.

She thinks.

She isn’t sure. (Not about Jonathan Byers, she’s sure about him; she’d always found him endlessly intriguing, even in elementary school, when he sat at the picnic tables with Barb while Nancy played horses at recess, surrounded by girls who had names like hers—Stacy, Ally. Long e sounds. Names that rhymed.)

What she isn’t sure about is if they ever really started dating.

And if they did, they certainly never stopped.

If it did happen, it is, technically, the longest relationship she’s ever been in. If she’s counting.

She doesn’t know what that says about her.

She was twelve years old, sitting on a bench inside Hawkins Middle, reading A Tree Grows In Brooklyn for English, waiting for her mother to pick her up and bring her to ballet. (Nancy never considered it, in her youth, how much of her mother’s life revolved around ferrying her and her siblings across Hawkins, from one activity to another. She must have been so grateful when Mike declared his independence from the automobile and insisted on riding his bike everywhere.)

She’d glanced up to see the Wheeler family station wagon coasting to a stop just outside the front doors, just as Jonathan Byers coasted to a stop in front of her.

“Nancy,” he’d said, breathless.

And that’s when it got complicated.

In the rush of juggling her school bag, her dance bag, and the blare of her mother’s horn, she didn’t quite catch the words that followed her name.

Her eyes had flicked to the car outside, then back to him. She’d thought about asking him to repeat himself, but his face had been open, expectant, nervous. Hopeful.

She couldn’t deny that face.

“Oh, um. Yes,” she’d said, in response to what she’d been pretty sure was a question.

He’d grinned at her. Held up his hand.

She’d high fived him, and rushed out to her waiting mother.

It was only as the car door slammed shut that she processed the question he’d asked her.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

It’s only later—years later—that Nancy realizes that she’d have said yes even if she had heard him clearly.

As it was, she only got to enjoy their relationship—if it was a relationship (if seventh grade high fives could even be called a relationship)—for one day. Less than a day, even.

She’d glanced over at him shyly all through class, counting the minutes until lunch, when she would confirm if she’d heard him right. He’d returned her glances with equally shy smiles, putting her anxious mind slightly at ease.

And then the loudspeaker buzzed, Jonathan Byers was called to the office—and he was gone.

His whole family was.

Mike had pouted for weeks, his best friend vanished in an instant. “It’s not fair,” he’d moaned at dinner. “Why do they have to move just because of his stupid dad.”

The moaning continued over the phone, short long-distance calls that Nancy only ever worked up the nerve to intrude on once, picking up the receiver to mutter a quick “Tell-Jonathan-I-said-hi,” before hanging up with a clatter.

But the frequency of the phone calls trickled away as the school year went on, and by the time summer arrived, Mike had stopped insisting on being allowed to visit Will, and Nancy lost her only chance to confirm her relationship status.

She knows she could have called him herself. But that was, for her twelve year old self, too much to bear.

And plus, he’d never called her.

She misheard him, she told herself.

(She didn’t.)

He’d asked her another question, not girlfriend-related at all.

(He hadn’t.)

She’d told all her rhyming friends, giggles down the phone line later that night, and they’d waited alongside her with heavy anticipation for one of them to finally have a boyfriend, only to have their hopes dashed when it ended up being over before it really began. In the end she just felt foolish, for making such a thing over a boy.

“You know, you two never actually broke up,” Barb pointed out one day, once Nancy was able to think about it without wanting to bury her face in her hands, a matter of years later. As time goes on, it became almost a joke to her friends, a Schrödinger’s relationship that Nancy is both in and not in at the same time.

“Oh you can’t,” they said to James C, who asked her to prom as Nancy sat, blushing furiously, at her lunch table freshman year. “She’s dating Jonathan Byers.” (He’d been a senior, convinced she couldn’t turn him down, staggering away at Nancy’s faux-regretful confirmation of her relationship status.)

“So what’s this about you and some long distance guy?” Steve had asked, the first night she’d allowed herself to be inveigled into his back seat.

“Oh,” Nancy had said, already pulling her shirt over her head. “That’s . . . nothing. Middle school stuff.”

“Good,” Steve said, and Nancy forgot all about Jonathan Byers for the moment.

But she never truly forgets, not really.

Nancy moves to the city in one fell swoop.

She loads the U-Haul herself, only takes three wrong turns, and crams her entire life into the tiny studio that somehow costs more than the two-bedroom apartment she’d left Steve standing in, bereft.

She locates the nearest bodega, maps out her work commute on the subway, and prepares to begin her life anew.

It doesn’t quite work out like she plans.

She does manage to navigate the subway with relative ease, and she stops by the bodega almost every day, grabbing yet another item she’s realized she doesn’t own and cannot seem to live without.

The life anew part, however, eludes her.

She has a life, of course—drinks with college friends, lunches out with work colleagues. She tries new things, meets new people, goes on an endless parade of first dates. She even makes it to second and third dates for a few. But in the end, her days start to end up feeling enough like the inevitability she’d tried to escape that she wonders if it might make sense to head back to Indiana, see if Steve is still standing right where she left him.

It’s then that her thoughts turn to Jonathan.

Not in any kind of concrete sort of way—when she thinks of him it always feels hazy, somehow—but more idealistic; she imagines him living the life she wishes she could lead. He’d escaped Hawkins, in a way she somehow cannot, like the town is clinging to her, holding onto her fast even across state lines.

As a coping mechanism, it’s pretty fucked up, as Steve used to say, having the ghosts of her past haunt her present, but she’s working on it. She took the first step, at least.

She left.

“I wish you’d just come back,” her mother pleads, on the nights Nancy finds herself longing for the comforts of home, fingers grasped tight around the phone. What her mother doesn’t know is that she doesn’t call to be convinced to return.

She calls because it’s the one thing that strengthens her resolve to stay.

She only knows one person at the party.

Alice waves to her from across the apartment as Nancy navigates through the crowd, holding a six-pack in front of her like a peace offering, losing four along the way as she edges through and around clumps of people.

Nancy offers up the spare, taking the last beer for herself, and proceeds to endure the interminable agony that is entering a story halfway through and not knowing the teller well enough for them to recount the beginning. She likes Alice, she does, finding her Midwest sensibilities comfortingly refreshing after her months in the city, but theirs is a friendship of convenience, nothing deeper. Nancy wonders what Barb would say, if she were here.

Stop thinking about your dead friend and make some new ones, probably.

Nancy laughs to herself at the thought, and then starts at the unfortunate realization that someone is saying her name, and has been, for some time now.

“Sorry.” Her eyebrows raise, her eyes open wide, trying to make it seem like she was mostly listening this whole time. “I didn’t catch that.”

Alice gives her a look, but she’s smiling. “Sam was asking if you know the host.”

Sam ends up being a girl with black hair and even blacker eyeliner, who seems to be nursing Nancy’s other beer.

She shakes her head, shrugging a little. “Just Alice—”

“The only person that matters,” Alice interjects.

Nancy rolls her eyes a little. “I just moved here from Indiana,” she continues. “Alice is taking pity on me because I know no one in the city.”

Sam makes an ah yes face of benign interest, but then her eyebrows crinkle together. “Actually, my boyfriend grew up in Indiana, I think.” She turns her head, calls into the kitchen, but the actual name gets lost in the buzz of the crowd.

Sean, maybe.

Sam goes off in search of Sean (or was it John?) and Nancy takes a swig of beer as the conversation turns to the subway, as it is wont to do among people with only tenuous connections to each other but all with a singular hatred for their shared means of transportation.

Nancy’s just happy she has her own story—getting caught underground for half an hour, the windows steaming up as people shed clothes around her—and manages to coast on that contribution for the next twenty minutes, sipping the dregs of her bottle as the group grows and shrinks, and the stories go on and on.

She’s about to go in search of another drink (or if she’s being honest, maybe an Irish goodbye) when Alice begins recounting the story of her last date, a story Nancy knows from lunch last week, and realizes that she has one more story to contribute.

“—and when I told him I had to be up early the next morning, he rolls over, gives me a high five, says nothing else and strolls out the door. Haven’t seen him since.”

“I’ve got that beat,” says Nancy, and knocks back the rest of her beer. She takes a deep breath. “So I’m in seventh grade, and I’m waiting for my mom to pick me up after school. When—”

And then she sees him.

Coasting up to her just like he had eleven years ago.

“Oh my god,” she breathes.

She sees his hand reaching toward her, and for one absurd, heart-stopping moment, Nancy thinks he’s going to give her a high five. But the hand keeps going up, pulling her into a hug, and she actually cannot believe this is happening.

“Nancy Wheeler,” Jonathan Byers says, and she can feel her name vibrating through her, he’s holding her so tight. She wonders if that’s why she can’t catch her breath, but even after he releases her, she’s still got that feeling—like she’s missed a step, like the universe has been thrown out of alignment.

“Oh my god,” she says again, because that’s all she can do.

“I’m guessing you two know each other,” Alice remarks dryly.

He’s grinning, and his hair is shorter than it used to be (of course it would be, he’s not in seventh grade anymore), but he’s unmistakably Jonathan Byers, eleven years older. He spins to the side, wrapping his arm around Nancy, and she wonders if she’s dreaming, because this cannot actually be happening.

“Um, yeah,” she begins, but Jonathan cuts her off.

“Oh, we go way back,” he declares, and smiles fondly down at her. “Nancy’s my girlfriend.”

Nancy chokes on nothing, and changes her mind. She isn’t dreaming.

She has actually died.

It’s the only explanation. One last gasp of reality, chiding her for spending so much time thinking about a boy that she was never supposed to see again.

Death is cruel, though, because instead of the sweet bliss of nothingness, instead she has Jonathan Byers grinning at her, Alice looking at her, dumbstruck, and from behind her, a vaguely familiar voice saying, “I thought I was your girlfriend.”

Nancy turns to find Sam staring at her, a look of amused concern on her face.

“Um,” Nancy says.

[airoasis]

The 1 Bitcoin Show- VanEck SolidX is back (as expected)! Walk the walk, NEM? A 17 y/o's bank

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-1-bitcoin-show-vaneck-solidx-is-back-as-expected-walk-the-walk-nem-a-17-y-os-bank/

The 1 Bitcoin Show- VanEck SolidX is back (as expected)! Walk the walk, NEM? A 17 y/o's bank

Hiya every person this is adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister welcome to the one bitcoin exhibit as a strong arms today is January the thirty first 2019 robust hand long-term thinking bow your wealth in bitcoin offended by shelling be a unique beast simple all okay everybody verify out the hyperlinks below everything I talk about within the video is linked to below disrupt meister calm tech ball te CH b LT okay this week in bitcoin the next day to come eight:00 a.M. Japanese Time that’s 1 p.M. In London we got three pleasing company i’ll go away it Oh it should be a shock you they are i do know who they’re expectantly they are going to exhibit up it’s hard to do a show at eight:00 a.M.Japanese Time i will let you know that but i am in Tel Aviv Israel so I received to do it cuz I obtained to head to shul as soon as the solar Goes Down on Friday town that like button for shabbat shalom all right relocating on so Friday’s exhibit can be exceptional however then Saturday there is gonna be one more awesome exhibit we’re gonna go past beyond Bitcoin and talk about a crypto dividend no it is not be hex why are you individuals pondering it can be be hex I stated we are debuting a new crypto dividend that has now not been stated anyplace but on Saturday at three p.M. Eastern time 1 p.M. Mountain time you know like in Denver Colorado and ya are aware of it’s once more I like it’s an airdrop mine i like crypt of dividends on account that you just you’re rewarded for maintaining your big coin I like it you get some new all coin you turning the significant coin babe you received more Bitcoin don’t forget the identify of the exhibit is the one Bitcoin exhibit so for those who get some free crypto dividends you flip it into Bitcoin also you acquired one Bitcoin you are good for your approach they day okay so yeah that is Saturday’s beyond Bitcoin show then Sunday goes to be one more distinct exhibit max Moe is approaching from Venezuela Juan Gault will also be also we’re going to talk so much about Venezuela on Sunday on this very Channel and so as to be at what’s that I consider 3:00 three:30 p.M. Eastern something like that i’m going to remind each person as it will get nearer some some three it’s going to be earlier than the Superbowl don’t worry it should be right earlier than the super Bowl on Sunday we’re gonna talk about like real lifestyles stuff in Venezuela as all of you who as so many humans get drunken fats within the cozy the usa you understand staring at the the Rams and would the Tom Brady’s play the bubbly individuals had been as well like you know coping with actual lifestyles due to the fact they need the Bitcoin down there all right so yeah moving on very first thing I’ve bought so many notes right here a few you know it’s a Sunday exhibit Saturday show oh and about Saturday’s show once more I stated it can be within the men and women who’re hanging on the script of dividend they may be in motion and i hooked a few of them up due to the fact that they three of the dudes know Minnie I had met them individually and you’ve gotten obvious them on the show handiest this for your Bitcoin show earlier than but once more I forgot to say the day prior to this that if you’re in motion and you adore what they’re doing you as a rule can do whatever with them i assume it can be continually good to be so don’t be afraid to contact them or contact me if you happen to got any strategies bear in mind probably the most character who got here up with this really cool air drop crypto dividend concept I feel contacted me I used to be like one of the first humans would contact maybe I was once the primary person you contact I don’t know so and i and i acquired him rolling and Wow it’s simply strong and so for those who’ve got just right recommendations you tell me i can put you in contact with individuals if you are a excellent man or woman I mean I recognize individuals who are emotion and men and women that I’ve conversed with online and who’ve been on the show and who i am in man or woman you know you get a think for men and women after a at the same time after you will have received some wisdom and expertise in life not after which i am no longer sensible like you know like my father used to be smart and a individual over 70 over 60 over 50 there that is wisdom there but yeah i am hopefully i am on light-weight you know you are making mistakes you attain you be taught your lesson you turn out to be you gain some wisdom by means of all of it right to be a whatever we must all a attempt for sir somewhat bit of wisdom and that i feel I’ve obtained it tad little bit of it from a few of this crazy experiences i have been by means of in life residing in Linden Avenue in Baltimore having three houses throughout a short period of time the Bitcoin you don’t seeing how impulsive folks are valuing my wealth see females and then doubling my wealth and bitcoin god it can be enjoyable yeah I can’t lie can’t lie acquired some excellent reviews you understand when you meet me a character good that is what you get k now but you get some more private experiences while you meet me first i try to like hold some matters that preserve off the air so this is a loved ones software with everything let’s get let’s get to the nitty-gritty of matters you want to hear in regards to the band act strong x bitcoin etf its again they the that is from one of the most guys over at van ax van eck pound that like button by the way and been from van eck you tweeted this out what’s this guy’s title Garber the van XIX Bitcoin ETF inspiration rule change has been resubmitted through CBOE hard work by way of all groups worried public document k so you you when you click on that hyperlink you’ll find the general public report oh what a shock its back of path its again of path now when will the hope the entire system begins again so who knows when it’s gonna get approved or disapproved or anything do not hold your breath men and women but of direction its again colossal deal you realize it’ll be time to have a good time once it will get authorized ok it is gonna get a proof eventually no one can say what eventually is though it might not be except 2020 so hello there you go maybe you obtained to put a smile to your face that they’ve resubmitted you failed to hear but there is a news for you so I noticed penny ling hams Twitter thread and he shared up a man who was a pal of his i guess a co-located is he’s a buddy that is they they found that a organization together once he he retweeted this guy’s tweet it’s about a new enterprise what’s this known as grasp on i’m gonna i would step calm certainly a well-funded or shall be a good-funded Silicon Valley but when they might pay for the step dot-com area now there’s a purpose i am bringing up this and you realize and on the grounds that clearly this individual is going with the aid of the rules and once enterprise funding they may be gonna they may be gonna follow the foundations that once they’re talking about young adults I count on they may be speaking about 18 and 19 year olds ok so and there’s a medium put up the guy explains what he’s doing and i am gonna quote from for the put up prior nine months i have been busy at the back of the scenes combining my passions and existence classes with my competencies to hooked up the next big task a trusted banking platform that works with latest trendy lifestyle and teaches not simplest young adults but additionally households the best way to higher manipulate their cash okay and it is step calm which you can go to step calm and you’ll find but I mean once more that that that lifeless URL failed to come low cost so you recognize this dude’s he is talking about a believe a banking a relied on banking platform nobody why do you need to stick me why do you need to persist with these traditions why do you wish to have to maintain it within the bank like the motive I deliver up all this given that I feel this is only a massive waste I believe the fellow’s gonna get some huge cash however he is linked and some thing he’s accomplished this before he’s situated firms he is obtained a good pitch oh he needs Bitcoin k so i’m gonna read i’m gonna read some more there are presently seventy five million kids and young adults under the age of 21 in the U.S. This underserved demographic and i agree it’s underserved demographic he’s overwhelmingly pressured to care for money despite the fact that their lives are digital they cannot use money to shop online pay for an uber order from Amazon download track or participate in online gaming sites like fortnight the potential to transact and have entry to your money immediately is major as tests and cash grow to be less primary in contemporary digital world well dude why don’t you just inform you understand I i will recognize that this man wishes to and in case you learn the whole submit he desires to coach persons to make not make silly financial errors no longer get bank cards with thirty five percentage interest rates I consider part of the schooling it most commonly would be the youngsters which can be under 18 in order that when they stand up for these credit cards they do not fall for it k that’s exceptional however for the rest of the I mean they could learn that from holding Bitcoin from being their possess back to start with they could they might get that schooling that way but I imply if they wish to play video video games on-line in the event that they wish to purchase matters from Amazon or go to over I imply it is a Bitcoin I imply you do not want your you are retaining them in the old mannequin you are preserving them in the bank card banking paradigm but why I don’t know I mean once more I I see you know the unbanked as being folks underneath 18 if you’re 17 if you are 16 free anything I suppose you maybe can have a heritage when you get your mother’s title on it again i’ve alluded to after I began tuition out of 17 so my mom’s identify is still on my banking account to this very day but I believe to preclude such nonsense you just be your own financial institution we’re just I consider it is gonna be a gorgeous world when there may be a bunch of seventeen yr olds available in the market that are their own banks due to the fact that of Bitcoin and i suppose that is and you know that’s you don’t need enterprise funding or an costly URL or you understand a best administrative center in Silicon Valley to bring that message to instruct folks you just want Bitcoin Bitcoin solves all the disorders this man is speakme about so it can be fascinating that Vinnie retweeted this I suppose in view that the fellows is buddy and used to be his accomplice in an extra industry but over again I believe there may be do people still begin tuition when they’re sitting when they may be 17 i do not even understand anymore that is if that’s a factor anymore if it can be if it is even rarer rarity it is it can be now not as long-established because it was traditionally i can anticipate that folks like to start their youngsters at all these moms want their youngsters to be the biggest and the oldest they do not need them to be the youngest in order that they hold them back raids and the whole lot so I do not know how many 17 year-olds institution anymore however that could be a excellent goal viewers target demographic for Bitcoin considering the fact that they’re no longer going to be capable to open their possess banks right now they’re going to be ready to want to have some financial freedom and no longer have their mother sign bank account or have get permission from their dad or whatever I suppose that that is going to be you understand again we have now talked concerning the unbanked in the 1/3 world I think in regards to the unbanked and i’ve realized this I forgot it I point out this on the show earlier than I consider about sixteen yr olds and seventeen 12 months olds simply being busy being equipped to be businessmen there if they’ve Bitcoin they could promoting stuff for Bitcoin they don’t need a financial institution account they don’t need their mom or dad’s permission and once more 17 year-olds go off to university I feel nonetheless I was once one of them as soon as so there you go so I combined plenty of things into that i suppose just right good fortune to Vinnie’s pal perhaps you should just you understand it’s forbidden simply motivate humans to make use of Bitcoin however once more he’s it can be howdy cursor professor he is a new counterculture that guy was once competent to elevate a lot of money for from Silicon Valley people have a quality place of work anywhere and Palo Alto San Mateo at any place good for him i guess i am gonna go inform us spread the massive factor phrase once more tech Bolcom disrupt meister comm te c HB alt on twitter that is me bitcoin meister bit backer and steam it all right so yeah uh the day gone by’s exhibit i speak about a further trendy topic in Silicon Valley uh you realize worried about women in tech females in Bitcoin minorities and bitcoin minorities intact you already know discontinue annoying about who’s speaking the talk it it doesn’t matter it can be not gonna make that so much a difference in your private life for those who go to should you pay some huge cash to go to a few conference where some anyone’s paid slightly of money to do what intercourse they are or what race they are you know if they’re talking about some ICO that is such as you gotta make certain you’re jogging the stroll and that you have Bitcoin bitcoin is running the stroll traumatic about who’s speakme to speak who’s talking about cryptocurrency who’s speakme about I cos he’s speaking about tech that is not productive so stroll the stroll before you worry about speakme that who’s speaking to talk and believe me it can be higher just to walk the stroll appear preserve the Bitcoin and let different individuals worry about who’s speakme about big okay with I do I do marvel if a few of these persons complaining concerning the demographics of Bitcoin if they even own any Bitcoin that’s how you make a giant difference you motivate individuals to be their possess banks to manage their own personal keys that helps you know women you already know humans from Greenland folks from at any place or each person’s got an possibility to purchase Bitcoin any there’s nothing protecting them back from from from buying Bitcoin mainly if you’re in the Western world there may be only a few obstacles you get yourself on Bitcoin so is it higher to attend a a speakme gig in San Francisco and pay like a $200 to see some woman talk about Bitcoin or is it higher to possess a fraction of a Bitcoin in your technique to proudly owning one Bitcoin I suppose I believe you received to prioritize right here folks let’s let’s get humans proudly owning Bitcoin not worrying about who’s speaking about considering that there’s nothing you recognize and that i inspire females in case you’ve been in case you think like you may have been discriminated in opposition to and you are not able to talk in the tech convention buy Bitcoin you can get the final left you are going to get the final snigger trust me about that for those who should you feel you’ve gotten been discriminated in opposition to or if you have been discriminated against Bitcoin will fight these big quickman Kansas for me in opposition to any one and it fights towards discrimination actually so there you go so let’s we’re talking about I stated I SEOs and cryptocurrencies and all coins why do not we have a flashback to I consider it was once 2017 when humans were telling me yeah ma’am is that this super Asian or chinese coin or some thing it can be the flavor of the month of some month in 2017 oh I recall it it used to be before iota and after who knows i don’t understand it was once the flavoured a month before ma’am there weren’t too many foot and after veritasium so yeah core desk and that i won point desks has this title and an editorial guys basis practically broke plans layoffs and pivot and in the article it says and that is what the foremost part is there is no longer a whole lot of humans engaged on this platform despite the fact that it can be easy the community is not really there until you go to Japan the enhance the developer stated we want more developer traction on this platform ok so yeah that is what happens the flavors of the month they have got folks don’t in reality use it and then their foundations go bankrupt and again i know the groundwork is not really named however it due to the fact says name is centralized and the truth that they’ve acquired some similarities that you can learn the article if you want to however the flavors of the month are going to maintain on coming they usually’re gonna roll in rather a lot faster as soon as the inexperienced persons roll it again once more we’re in a in terms of Fiat humans say this is a bear crypto advertise’s all cyclical will see the wildness once more there will likely be some why all of the flavors of the month and you know i guess best approaches it inexperienced is a taste of the month right now or anything like that or the opposite ones are the flavor of the month reasonable interesting stuff whatever k so i am adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister recollect subscribe this channel like this video share this video verify out the hyperlinks under pound that like button bang the bell button follow me on twitter and consider day after today exhibit is quickly this weekend Bitcoin might be at 8 a.M.On Friday morning again there is a new show right here daily love you guys i’ll see you in the morning bye bye .

[batterymonster2021]

The 1 Bitcoin Show- VanEck SolidX is back (as expected)! Walk the walk, NEM? A 17 y/o's bank

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-1-bitcoin-show-vaneck-solidx-is-back-as-expected-walk-the-walk-nem-a-17-y-os-bank/

The 1 Bitcoin Show- VanEck SolidX is back (as expected)! Walk the walk, NEM? A 17 y/o's bank

Hiya every person this is adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister welcome to the one bitcoin exhibit as a strong arms today is January the thirty first 2019 robust hand long-term thinking bow your wealth in bitcoin offended by shelling be a unique beast simple all okay everybody verify out the hyperlinks below everything I talk about within the video is linked to below disrupt meister calm tech ball te CH b LT okay this week in bitcoin the next day to come eight:00 a.M. Japanese Time that’s 1 p.M. In London we got three pleasing company i’ll go away it Oh it should be a shock you they are i do know who they’re expectantly they are going to exhibit up it’s hard to do a show at eight:00 a.M.Japanese Time i will let you know that but i am in Tel Aviv Israel so I received to do it cuz I obtained to head to shul as soon as the solar Goes Down on Friday town that like button for shabbat shalom all right relocating on so Friday’s exhibit can be exceptional however then Saturday there is gonna be one more awesome exhibit we’re gonna go past beyond Bitcoin and talk about a crypto dividend no it is not be hex why are you individuals pondering it can be be hex I stated we are debuting a new crypto dividend that has now not been stated anyplace but on Saturday at three p.M. Eastern time 1 p.M. Mountain time you know like in Denver Colorado and ya are aware of it’s once more I like it’s an airdrop mine i like crypt of dividends on account that you just you’re rewarded for maintaining your big coin I like it you get some new all coin you turning the significant coin babe you received more Bitcoin don’t forget the identify of the exhibit is the one Bitcoin exhibit so for those who get some free crypto dividends you flip it into Bitcoin also you acquired one Bitcoin you are good for your approach they day okay so yeah that is Saturday’s beyond Bitcoin show then Sunday goes to be one more distinct exhibit max Moe is approaching from Venezuela Juan Gault will also be also we’re going to talk so much about Venezuela on Sunday on this very Channel and so as to be at what’s that I consider 3:00 three:30 p.M. Eastern something like that i’m going to remind each person as it will get nearer some some three it’s going to be earlier than the Superbowl don’t worry it should be right earlier than the super Bowl on Sunday we’re gonna talk about like real lifestyles stuff in Venezuela as all of you who as so many humans get drunken fats within the cozy the usa you understand staring at the the Rams and would the Tom Brady’s play the bubbly individuals had been as well like you know coping with actual lifestyles due to the fact they need the Bitcoin down there all right so yeah moving on very first thing I’ve bought so many notes right here a few you know it’s a Sunday exhibit Saturday show oh and about Saturday’s show once more I stated it can be within the men and women who’re hanging on the script of dividend they may be in motion and i hooked a few of them up due to the fact that they three of the dudes know Minnie I had met them individually and you’ve gotten obvious them on the show handiest this for your Bitcoin show earlier than but once more I forgot to say the day prior to this that if you’re in motion and you adore what they’re doing you as a rule can do whatever with them i assume it can be continually good to be so don’t be afraid to contact them or contact me if you happen to got any strategies bear in mind probably the most character who got here up with this really cool air drop crypto dividend concept I feel contacted me I used to be like one of the first humans would contact maybe I was once the primary person you contact I don’t know so and i and i acquired him rolling and Wow it’s simply strong and so for those who’ve got just right recommendations you tell me i can put you in contact with individuals if you are a excellent man or woman I mean I recognize individuals who are emotion and men and women that I’ve conversed with online and who’ve been on the show and who i am in man or woman you know you get a think for men and women after a at the same time after you will have received some wisdom and expertise in life not after which i am no longer sensible like you know like my father used to be smart and a individual over 70 over 60 over 50 there that is wisdom there but yeah i am hopefully i am on light-weight you know you are making mistakes you attain you be taught your lesson you turn out to be you gain some wisdom by means of all of it right to be a whatever we must all a attempt for sir somewhat bit of wisdom and that i feel I’ve obtained it tad little bit of it from a few of this crazy experiences i have been by means of in life residing in Linden Avenue in Baltimore having three houses throughout a short period of time the Bitcoin you don’t seeing how impulsive folks are valuing my wealth see females and then doubling my wealth and bitcoin god it can be enjoyable yeah I can’t lie can’t lie acquired some excellent reviews you understand when you meet me a character good that is what you get k now but you get some more private experiences while you meet me first i try to like hold some matters that preserve off the air so this is a loved ones software with everything let’s get let’s get to the nitty-gritty of matters you want to hear in regards to the band act strong x bitcoin etf its again they the that is from one of the most guys over at van ax van eck pound that like button by the way and been from van eck you tweeted this out what’s this guy’s title Garber the van XIX Bitcoin ETF inspiration rule change has been resubmitted through CBOE hard work by way of all groups worried public document k so you you when you click on that hyperlink you’ll find the general public report oh what a shock its back of path its again of path now when will the hope the entire system begins again so who knows when it’s gonna get approved or disapproved or anything do not hold your breath men and women but of direction its again colossal deal you realize it’ll be time to have a good time once it will get authorized ok it is gonna get a proof eventually no one can say what eventually is though it might not be except 2020 so hello there you go maybe you obtained to put a smile to your face that they’ve resubmitted you failed to hear but there is a news for you so I noticed penny ling hams Twitter thread and he shared up a man who was a pal of his i guess a co-located is he’s a buddy that is they they found that a organization together once he he retweeted this guy’s tweet it’s about a new enterprise what’s this known as grasp on i’m gonna i would step calm certainly a well-funded or shall be a good-funded Silicon Valley but when they might pay for the step dot-com area now there’s a purpose i am bringing up this and you realize and on the grounds that clearly this individual is going with the aid of the rules and once enterprise funding they may be gonna they may be gonna follow the foundations that once they’re talking about young adults I count on they may be speaking about 18 and 19 year olds ok so and there’s a medium put up the guy explains what he’s doing and i am gonna quote from for the put up prior nine months i have been busy at the back of the scenes combining my passions and existence classes with my competencies to hooked up the next big task a trusted banking platform that works with latest trendy lifestyle and teaches not simplest young adults but additionally households the best way to higher manipulate their cash okay and it is step calm which you can go to step calm and you’ll find but I mean once more that that that lifeless URL failed to come low cost so you recognize this dude’s he is talking about a believe a banking a relied on banking platform nobody why do you need to stick me why do you need to persist with these traditions why do you wish to have to maintain it within the bank like the motive I deliver up all this given that I feel this is only a massive waste I believe the fellow’s gonna get some huge cash however he is linked and some thing he’s accomplished this before he’s situated firms he is obtained a good pitch oh he needs Bitcoin k so i’m gonna read i’m gonna read some more there are presently seventy five million kids and young adults under the age of 21 in the U.S. This underserved demographic and i agree it’s underserved demographic he’s overwhelmingly pressured to care for money despite the fact that their lives are digital they cannot use money to shop online pay for an uber order from Amazon download track or participate in online gaming sites like fortnight the potential to transact and have entry to your money immediately is major as tests and cash grow to be less primary in contemporary digital world well dude why don’t you just inform you understand I i will recognize that this man wishes to and in case you learn the whole submit he desires to coach persons to make not make silly financial errors no longer get bank cards with thirty five percentage interest rates I consider part of the schooling it most commonly would be the youngsters which can be under 18 in order that when they stand up for these credit cards they do not fall for it k that’s exceptional however for the rest of the I mean they could learn that from holding Bitcoin from being their possess back to start with they could they might get that schooling that way but I imply if they wish to play video video games on-line in the event that they wish to purchase matters from Amazon or go to over I imply it is a Bitcoin I imply you do not want your you are retaining them in the old mannequin you are preserving them in the bank card banking paradigm but why I don’t know I mean once more I I see you know the unbanked as being folks underneath 18 if you’re 17 if you are 16 free anything I suppose you maybe can have a heritage when you get your mother’s title on it again i’ve alluded to after I began tuition out of 17 so my mom’s identify is still on my banking account to this very day but I believe to preclude such nonsense you just be your own financial institution we’re just I consider it is gonna be a gorgeous world when there may be a bunch of seventeen yr olds available in the market that are their own banks due to the fact that of Bitcoin and i suppose that is and you know that’s you don’t need enterprise funding or an costly URL or you understand a best administrative center in Silicon Valley to bring that message to instruct folks you just want Bitcoin Bitcoin solves all the disorders this man is speakme about so it can be fascinating that Vinnie retweeted this I suppose in view that the fellows is buddy and used to be his accomplice in an extra industry but over again I believe there may be do people still begin tuition when they’re sitting when they may be 17 i do not even understand anymore that is if that’s a factor anymore if it can be if it is even rarer rarity it is it can be now not as long-established because it was traditionally i can anticipate that folks like to start their youngsters at all these moms want their youngsters to be the biggest and the oldest they do not need them to be the youngest in order that they hold them back raids and the whole lot so I do not know how many 17 year-olds institution anymore however that could be a excellent goal viewers target demographic for Bitcoin considering the fact that they’re no longer going to be capable to open their possess banks right now they’re going to be ready to want to have some financial freedom and no longer have their mother sign bank account or have get permission from their dad or whatever I suppose that that is going to be you understand again we have now talked concerning the unbanked in the 1/3 world I think in regards to the unbanked and i’ve realized this I forgot it I point out this on the show earlier than I consider about sixteen yr olds and seventeen 12 months olds simply being busy being equipped to be businessmen there if they’ve Bitcoin they could promoting stuff for Bitcoin they don’t need a financial institution account they don’t need their mom or dad’s permission and once more 17 year-olds go off to university I feel nonetheless I was once one of them as soon as so there you go so I combined plenty of things into that i suppose just right good fortune to Vinnie’s pal perhaps you should just you understand it’s forbidden simply motivate humans to make use of Bitcoin however once more he’s it can be howdy cursor professor he is a new counterculture that guy was once competent to elevate a lot of money for from Silicon Valley people have a quality place of work anywhere and Palo Alto San Mateo at any place good for him i guess i am gonna go inform us spread the massive factor phrase once more tech Bolcom disrupt meister comm te c HB alt on twitter that is me bitcoin meister bit backer and steam it all right so yeah uh the day gone by’s exhibit i speak about a further trendy topic in Silicon Valley uh you realize worried about women in tech females in Bitcoin minorities and bitcoin minorities intact you already know discontinue annoying about who’s speaking the talk it it doesn’t matter it can be not gonna make that so much a difference in your private life for those who go to should you pay some huge cash to go to a few conference where some anyone’s paid slightly of money to do what intercourse they are or what race they are you know if they’re talking about some ICO that is such as you gotta make certain you’re jogging the stroll and that you have Bitcoin bitcoin is running the stroll traumatic about who’s speakme to speak who’s talking about cryptocurrency who’s speakme about I cos he’s speaking about tech that is not productive so stroll the stroll before you worry about speakme that who’s speaking to talk and believe me it can be higher just to walk the stroll appear preserve the Bitcoin and let different individuals worry about who’s speakme about big okay with I do I do marvel if a few of these persons complaining concerning the demographics of Bitcoin if they even own any Bitcoin that’s how you make a giant difference you motivate individuals to be their possess banks to manage their own personal keys that helps you know women you already know humans from Greenland folks from at any place or each person’s got an possibility to purchase Bitcoin any there’s nothing protecting them back from from from buying Bitcoin mainly if you’re in the Western world there may be only a few obstacles you get yourself on Bitcoin so is it higher to attend a a speakme gig in San Francisco and pay like a $200 to see some woman talk about Bitcoin or is it higher to possess a fraction of a Bitcoin in your technique to proudly owning one Bitcoin I suppose I believe you received to prioritize right here folks let’s let’s get humans proudly owning Bitcoin not worrying about who’s speaking about considering that there’s nothing you recognize and that i inspire females in case you’ve been in case you think like you may have been discriminated in opposition to and you are not able to talk in the tech convention buy Bitcoin you can get the final left you are going to get the final snigger trust me about that for those who should you feel you’ve gotten been discriminated in opposition to or if you have been discriminated against Bitcoin will fight these big quickman Kansas for me in opposition to any one and it fights towards discrimination actually so there you go so let’s we’re talking about I stated I SEOs and cryptocurrencies and all coins why do not we have a flashback to I consider it was once 2017 when humans were telling me yeah ma’am is that this super Asian or chinese coin or some thing it can be the flavor of the month of some month in 2017 oh I recall it it used to be before iota and after who knows i don’t understand it was once the flavoured a month before ma’am there weren’t too many foot and after veritasium so yeah core desk and that i won point desks has this title and an editorial guys basis practically broke plans layoffs and pivot and in the article it says and that is what the foremost part is there is no longer a whole lot of humans engaged on this platform despite the fact that it can be easy the community is not really there until you go to Japan the enhance the developer stated we want more developer traction on this platform ok so yeah that is what happens the flavors of the month they have got folks don’t in reality use it and then their foundations go bankrupt and again i know the groundwork is not really named however it due to the fact says name is centralized and the truth that they’ve acquired some similarities that you can learn the article if you want to however the flavors of the month are going to maintain on coming they usually’re gonna roll in rather a lot faster as soon as the inexperienced persons roll it again once more we’re in a in terms of Fiat humans say this is a bear crypto advertise’s all cyclical will see the wildness once more there will likely be some why all of the flavors of the month and you know i guess best approaches it inexperienced is a taste of the month right now or anything like that or the opposite ones are the flavor of the month reasonable interesting stuff whatever k so i am adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister recollect subscribe this channel like this video share this video verify out the hyperlinks under pound that like button bang the bell button follow me on twitter and consider day after today exhibit is quickly this weekend Bitcoin might be at 8 a.M.On Friday morning again there is a new show right here daily love you guys i’ll see you in the morning bye bye .

[bangtan-gwenchana]

안녕하세요! ~

I wanted to share my first actual spending for BTS. First of all, I'm a new aRMy about 3 months old but I've always see BTS on my feeds before but I just recently put my effort into liking and actually have fallen in love with them. And I think I cannot turn my back now.

For the reason that adulting hits me so hard, I really can't spend on merchandise and physical albums 'cos Im broke and living to pay bills. So this is my first actual spent for our boys.

Well anyways, this movie actually gave me an opportunity to have a closer look to our lovely boys on stage and off stage. And also this is the closest that I can be with them. I wanted to attend to their concert and I hope I can. Pleaseeeeee! ~

I watched Burn The Stage The Movie on it's first day November 15 2018 together with my friend who is also a fan. We planned to watch it together because she's visiting the Philippines for a short time and we'd watched it together because we love them so much.

So basically, we watched the movie with no subtitles. We asked the staffs if the first screening also didn't have subtitles; they said yes and there was no info that it was released with subs. I was very disappointed. You can imagine how hard it is for non-korean people to watched the movie. I know we can enjoy bangtan bombs with no subs but after they'd post it, our kind-hearted translators translate it for us I-armys out of love. But no, this is not the case for the movie. No one knows if this will be released on dvd or Netflix and if ever yes it will surely take time.

As we watched the movie, I just looked at the screen with my eyes full of love and admiration for them. Everything was raw. I just felt every words of narration. I laughed as I see them laugh, sad when I see them tired and you can say that I really felt every emotions that they've shown through the length of this movie.

As the movie came to an end and how it shows their serious faces and with the tone of their voices I know that if I understand what they are saying I might be sobbing at the theatre.

To my dismay, as we leave the movie house I read some tweets and saw that there was subtitles for every language, most specifically in my country. And there was a released from the distributor that they provided subtitle and no dubbing for this movie. So I immediately talked to one of the staff and raised my concern. And she just said that there was really no subtitle for the said movie.

You can imagine how stressed I am because this is my first spending for bangtan and I will not allow to end it like this. So I talked to my cousin who works for the same company and told her my story.

The head office of the cinema was alarmed with my concern and immediately took action. And yes, I got to watch the movie again. This time for real. It is much sweeter the second time around. The amount of joy and laughter I felt from my first screening was twice when I understood every bit of what they are saying.

BTS are the most pure and genuine celebrity as far as I'm concern. They are the kind of talented artist that are so humble and humane. They are not afraid to show every bit of emotion they have on and off cam/stage. They cry when they are sad, they laugh their asses off when they are feeling euphoric. And lastly, they always say they will work harder and be better, where for us, ARMYs they are already the best.

⚠️ Spoiler alert ⚠️

One of my favorite part was their pool party. It clearly shows that they are still normal people who lives. They are just people who apparently are famous but still are young adults who wanted to enjoy their life at the moment. As narrated and through the screen we saw how they are having the time of their life: "Though we are always together, being together brings us greater joy." From that moment from hearing loud laughters came in silence. I bet my 2 cents everybody inside the theatre watching felt that pinch in their heart.

They can't be separated, not at this time. It was clearly seen at BV3 how they are used to have 7 people around and BV2 when Seokjin said that he feels anxious when they are not around and compared BTS members as cellphone that you always have.

Bangtan Sonyeondan are brothers binded by bond. They are meant to meet one another. I know they have their respective red strings tangled with each other.

Another favorite of mine was when Taehyung dedicates 4'o'clock to Hansung. As he talks and relay his message to Hansung, with him inside the moving van and with 4'o'clock as the bgm it touched my heart. Hansung will forever be special, his first character, someone very close to his heart.

/pcto/

And yes, the song somehow fits them. He also said that Hansung was his inspiration. I personally love that song that it makes me feel at ease. It helps me sleep at night. Tae's voice is my tranquilizer.

And my most favorite part was when they had a talked with Bang PDnim. It was as if they were having a conversation with their father. A father who is scared that his sons might lose their happiness in exchange for their dreams. He wanted them to loosen up, he also wanted them to be happy. I actually cried on that part. 😭

I also saw the screen for Wings Tour Manila. I'm in awe as I saw Fly high Philippine ARMY on the screen. I'm proud and it motivates me to watch their concert in my country. Patiently waiting for LY Tour PH 2019.

/pcto/

And Yeontan with Uncle Hobi really swept all my tears away. What a show stealer!

Who will not love these boys when they are these grateful to their fans, ARMYs. No one has been these grateful.

I am so scared how they relay their message in this documentary. It's as if they are ready to whatever will happen. They know they are flying high today but they know that eventually they will fall. But what's good about falling is that they know that ARMYs are always there to catch them. They surely know how to treasure every moment because they know that everything is temporary. That's how humble my stan group is. Years may pass as they see this movie my boys will keep ballin' ballin' still bangtan!

I love bangtan so much. I can't explain where this love is coming from but I am always praying for them.

I know that they are already living their dreams. My only wish and blessing for Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook that may they always find happiness in what they are doing. To always seek and look out for each other. To always find the light and not to lose their smile. I love them so much that I always pray that their hearts will feel peace.

I will fight for you, for your music, for your talent, for your passion, and for these 7 young wonderful boys that I still have to meet. I can't wait for that to happen. Wait for me. 알았지?!

Always keep things bright my bangtan! ~

Anyeong! ~

Mahal na mahal ko kayo! ~💜

I love you so much! ~💙

방탄소년단 사랑합니다! ♥

[madamrogersstorytelling]

Day 7: One favourite actor

It’s his birthday today. I’m sitting here, smiling like a maniac because I hope he’s having the time of his life. Or, then again, he can be one of those people who hates getting older and doesn’t really think that birthdays are that big things after all. Or he may celebrate only ten year marks, like 30 and 40 and 50. I don’t really know. Somehow it would be fun to know but, on the other hand, it’s his way and I respect it. 

He is 37 now. My mom laughed at me that all my celebrity crushes are around the same age. 37, 36, 35, 41, 39, 29, 51... Not too much dispersion. She stated that I obviously like older, adult men, not those childish boys who think they’re so cool and play around trying everything. She says I like those who have seen the world for a while, know what it takes to live in it, have something mature and open-minded in them. And that’s true. I cannot really stand people my age. Those I went to school with, at least. I think everything they have in their heads are either cigarettes, sex, fooling around, being desperate because of a boy/a girl had dumped them or because they saw a cute boy/girl, going to bars and reveling. I must sound like an old lady... And I’m only 20. But I’m an old soul, have always been; never really understood what the people, same age as I, felt or thought or whatever. I only have a few friends who have been born in the same year as me. I feel better with people older than me. In an environment like Tumblr it doesn’t matter, really - I’ve met wonderful people and I don’t even know how old they are. I’m only talking about those I’ve grown up with, those at the schools I went to and all. Don’t get hurt, I love you all. I think this part of Tumblr I’ve been in, is full of mature and thinking people. That’s why I feel like I belong in the middle of you. The atmosphere is friendly, we all love the same thing so it’s easy to talk to people. If it doesn’t go with someone, then it’s not meant to. 

I honestly was a bit shocked when I found out how old Ben is. I thought he’d be younger, at least a year or two. I’m still a bit surprised. He is one of those who look younger their age. As one of those myself (I’m 20 and I look like I’m about 16), I think it’s funny. It has its good side, but it’s also a bit frustrating. 

I’ve watched a lot of Ben’s interviews. They’ve given me a thought of him being very easy to be around, the one who knows quite well what to say to make a person laugh. He seems like the kindest and funniest guy ever. Also a bit shy and tender; he looks like someone who cries during movies. I love that kind of people. There is all kinds of sorts of beauty in him, some of them I probably haven’t even discovered yet. Of course, fanfiction is only imagination, but I’ve started to think that he may even be a lot like the Ben Barnes in everyone’s stories, in my own head. 

He seems like a polite guy. Meeting him would probably be a very pleasant experience, very inspiring and nice. Even the moment he liked my tweet about seeing Jackie & Ryan felt like a handshake. I like nothing more than to meet inspiring and kind people who have no fear of talking about things they hold dear. Ben seems like a person who could spend a lot of time talking about things he likes. Although, I have a thought that he prefers to be good friends with a person before talking about every single thing about himself. And that’s respectable. 

I respect this man. He is my hero and inspiration, like I said before. The reason why he is one of those is his words. And also the way he is who he is. He is this shy, stuttering boy and yet, still, he has made his life out of what he has dreamed of. I’m a shy stutterer myself. It’s extremely soothing to find stories like Ben’s. He doesn’t seem like the most popular boy of his school. If you told me he actually was, I probably wouldn’t believe you. If he has said something like that himself, I haven’t found it yet. 

For a while I was kinda lost. I didn’t know what to write or do or make for this seventh day, for his birthday. But I think text posts are actually quite nice. I can write whatever I want about this man. I’m actually a bit embarrassed that until I had seen The Punisher, I knew nothing about how sweet and talented Ben Barnes is. I just knew his face and name, that was all. Shocking, really - when you look at me now. Here I am, participating in an appreciation week and writing an essay about him - something I’ve never done before. Okay, I’ve maybe written essays about what Chris Evans means to me as a person, but I’ve never been a part of an appreciation week. But this is so much fun. Might do something like this again.

Happy Ben Barnes week! And, more than anything, happy birthday, Ben Barnes!

@benbarnesweek