#insert the i lived bitch meme 💅

[nikothebookdragon]

GUESS WHO'S NOT HOMELESS ANYMORE :D

[frogfootiepajamaguy]

Casually self-inserting myself into my two fave slasher movies so I can simp for the main killers and basically replacing the final girls cause I would've done shit differently:

Featuring; My non-existent will to live, the simp inside of me, my inner gremlin and the fact that I'm Gen Z

TW: Swearing, simping

BUBBA SAWYER (TCM)

Four people in a van? No. Me in a van who the fuck would I invite I have no friends

Hey look a hitch hiker that definately isn't related to mass murdering cannibals and definately isn't one himself

Want a ride- SIKE. I ain't lettin no stranger come into my fuckin van and start cutting his fuckin hand so I drive straight ahead-

Oh shit I ran out of gas. Can't have a horror movie without making the main character's car run out of gas right?

So shenanigans start and I start fuckin walkin to god knows where and found a house

So I go inside like the bad bitch I am and OH MY GOD

Bubba's out of the closet with a chainsaw! Congrats on opening up about your sexuality Bubba :D 🏳️‍🌈 💅👏👏👏👏👏

And Bubba's just standing there wondering why the fuck I'm clapping

Then I fuckin do an f boi face like a simp and say "Aha ur so seggsy don't kill me~"

Holy shit bone furniture and a chicken in a cage "Damn bro u live like this?"

Cut to the part where I fuckin run for my life- Jk i got myself captured

Cue dinner - Oh hey it's the hitch hiker I ditched - the food is fuckin gross but that chainsaw guy with a mask made out of faces kinda cute tho 👀.

They bring down grandpa and holy fuck it's William Afton. The fuck you doin in TMC

So they eating. Eating is good, eating is great - SIKE - while yall were eating I got myself out of the ropes and scratched my hands in the process, why? I'm a gremlin thats why

Then I snatch Bubba's fuckin chainsaw. Idc how strong he is I snatch it anyway and use it to chase away his brothers and William Afton cause i'm quirky lol

And then I kiss Bubba and we lived happily ever after.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE (THE BOY)

Took a nanny job, got inside the mansion, greeted the parents, met the doll - "Damn nice house u got here👀"

Anyway, they give me instructions, Brahms will be nice to me if I obey them, feed and bathe and love the doll more than life itself gotcha

Oh hey it's the grocery boy Malcolm except I'll only say hi and take the groceries and never interact with him again cause social interaction is overrated

Kaaaay so far I've loved the doll like it's my own child and never made any mistakes and obeyed the rules... Where wall man at.

*Walls thumping* *Insert caveman spongebob meme*

Timeskip to that one scene where Greta and Malcolm confronts Greta's abusive ass ex except I don't have an ex cause I never considered dating an option before and after I discovered what simping was

So just me standing in the living room then cause I think I broke a rule🧍‍♀️*COUGH* sleeping late *COUGH*

THE WALLS ARE THUMPING THE WALLS ARE THUMPING

THE MIRROR BROKE HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

*Insert Brahms most iconic and hottest scene in the entire movie and me giving an opera singer a run for her money because of my absolute high pitched simp scream*😩😩

Brahms looming over me with his head near my forehead "Sir are we about to kiss rn 👀"

Greta was a fuckin p*ssy running away. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU RUN AWAY FROM THIS HOT PIECE OF ASS

So anyways I get down on my knee and pull out a ring

And then we have a makeshift wedding and live out the rest of our lives together inside the house cause fuck social interaction-

THE END.