#insert ron weasley “she has got to get her priorities in order” gif

[halestrom]

i cannot stop thinking about this single moment, and yes I did make gifs just so I could scream about this.

Of all the things John could've said here. Not allowed, nope, not gonna happen, you can't, etc etc all of that. It's I can't.

LIKE HE CANT??

He can't what? Let Rodney do this? Let Rodney go and give himself up to the wraith knowing first hand what that pain feels like (not even getting into the fact that this is the same wraith that fed on him). Can't sit there knowing what Rodney will go through and what Rodney is willing to give up to save his sister, and I wonder if part of him is wondering how they got here. If he's to blame for Rodney willing to give up his life to save someone else. (he's not tbh, Rodney always been that brave IMO, he's just finally in a situation where he knows people have his back ((looking at u hide and seek my brave little toaster)))

I realize that hes saying "I can't" to Rodney asking permission to go (which, once again. is another thing I don't want to get into of Dr. Rodney McKay PhD PhD asking permission from his team lead to do this) but its' just. So insane to me that this was actual dialogue in an actual scene.

John can't let Rodney do this, and he won't let him do that and if John "orders are made to be ignored" Sheppard has to pull fucking rank to do it, then he will.

But he sure as hell won't meet Rodney's eyes as he does it. Not until Rodney says please and John lifts his head, meets Rodney's eyes, does an epic bottom lip wobble and then says he's sorry. look at the lip wobble and misty eyes people because I had to stare at this a lot when making another gif and I am FERAL over it. A+ acting JF, seriously. 10/10 gold stars for you.

John knows what it feels like to be fed on by a wraith, and he knows that pain. And maybe it's my little mcsheppy heart, but at the end of the day the pain is one thing. What John really can't do? Is let Rodney sacrifice himself.

He can't let Rodney go.

But he sure as hell has no issue letting Wallace go, knowing that pain, knowing what that feels like and knowing what it feels like to be so close to death, but Wallace doesn't get the happy ending. Wallace doesn't get his time back, and John (and the marines so hello I have more questions about them as well) watch it happen.

Because John can't let Rodney go.

And I'll never not want to scream about it.