#insanipede

[evolutionsvoid]

When it comes to dealing with the flora and fauna of the world, many assume that the larger a creature is, the more dangerous they are. Things like dragons, basilisks and wendigos spring to mind when one thinks of the dangers of the wild. I could not say that they are 100% wrong, as there are large beasts that pose quite a threat, but many let the little ones slip by. Not everything needs to be a massive, fire breathing dragon to be threatening. In fact, it is often the smaller, less imposing creatures that end up claiming unwary adventurers in the end. Some little colorful frog or an unassuming wasp that leaves its unwitting victims choking for air with swollen throats. From my experience, it is best that anyone who ventures into the wilds be wary of any strange creature they meet. If you cannot identify it, it is best to keep a distance until you know what its deal is. That usually helps, unless they can lob acid or have lethal gazes. At that point I don't know what to tell you. Of little critters that cause big problems, the Insanipede is a famous case. When originally discovered, this colorful creature dazzled its viewers and was seen as a beautiful, exotic pet. The vibrant colors, interesting patterns and unique antenna shape made for a fascinating looking critter that wealthy buyers loved to show off. No one thought twice about these creatures as they scooped them up and sold them off to rich pet owners. Sure, a few collectors would vanish in the jungles as they sought these centipedes out, but that surely had to be because of jaguars and anacondas, right? No way a foot-long centipede could do anything of that caliber, right? Well, as time went on, people began to realize that the Insanipede (which was not named that at the time) was not as wonderful as they thought.

Living the jungles and rainforests, the Insanipede has to deal with a number of threats and predators. At such a small size, it could easily become a meal for anything with teeth or a beak. To survive in this harsh world, the Insanipede turned to venom. Like other centipedes, they do not use fangs, but rather modified legs to jab into attackers. When threatened, they will flare out their extravagant antenna and raise their heads like cobras. If the opponent dares to come any closer, they will lash out and inject their potent venom. That is when things will turn towards the worst for the victim. The venom of an Insanipede is pretty much famous at this point. Some call it "Madman's Nectar" or "Crazy Juice." This is because the venom of an Insanipede attacks the nervous system of the victim. While other neurotoxins go for paralysis, this one goes a slightly different route. Rather than locking up the body, it seems to overstimulate the nervous system and assault the body with a barrage of erratic signals. Effects from this venom is twitching, seizing, spasms and, above all, uncontrollable laughter. In some parts of the world, some call the "Insanipede" the "Ticklepede" instead, and that is because of this symptom. As if being tickled, the victim will essentially curl up into a ball, fall into spasms and laugh uncontrollably for minutes on end. This is much more brutal and torturous than it sounds, though. When injected with Insanipede venom, there is no stopping the effects or even controlling them. Your entire body will seemingly be hijacked as you thrash about and laugh until your throat is raw. Your chest will burn, your muscles will ache and many receive bruises from smacking their twitching limbs on the environment. After a few minutes, the venom will subside, and the victim will regain control. Even then, lingering effects do occur. Spontaneous bouts of giggling can occur for days on end, and involuntary twitches follow as well. That is if you are in a safe environment. Explorers and collectors who are bitten in the jungles rarely survive long enough to let the effects dwindle. Turns out, being paralyzed by laughter in the middle of a ravenous jungle makes you a pretty good target. I have heard chilling tales of people who were torn to shreds by predators or swallowed whole by massive snakes, all while laughing the entire time. As the craze for these colorful centipedes grew, the more incidents of people being bit did as well. Odd stories of servants finding their masters sprawled on the floor in a fit of giggles came out, which sellers were quick to squash. Since the market was so big, those who sold these creatures wanted these undesired side effects left out of the news. When people began to die from these effects, the truth came out, and the want for these creatures plummeted. Turns out, people don't like having venomous pets slithering about, especially ones that were good at escaping their cages. As the effects of the venom were learned, the name Insanipede was placed on the species, and has remained ever since. No longer a popular pet (except for danger-loving collectors and "edgy" pet owners), the Insanipede gained new love from many different fields. Toxicologists and poison makers were intrigued by the effects, and wished to learn more about it. Others found use for it in assassinations and defamation. It is especially popular when one wishes to falsely accuse someone of insanity. A famous case that exemplifies this was when a rich baron wished to remove a troublesome wife without any harm to his reputation. As his wife spent his fortune on jewels, dresses and robes, he began to spread stories that she was a woman obsessed. Rumors that she was secretly crazy, and that he worried for her safety. No one would lock her up just on words alone, but a few subtle injections of Insanipede venom by goons during a grand ball did the trick. The cackling woman broke down before the whole crowd, and medics rushed to cart her away. The baron played the concerned, grieving husband, until his stash of Insanipedes were found by the authorities. Another use of Insanipede venom is in the field of recreational drugs. Combing it with certain liquids allows the effects to be downplayed, but still cause stimulation in the nerves. The tickling sensation it causes has been enjoyed by certain drug users, and the moniker "Crazy Juice" goes well with it. At this point I feel that I should point out that multiple doses of the venom can cause irreparable damage to the nerves and brain. A single bite, or a few stretched over the years will do nothing, but those who indulge in its effects constantly may find the symptoms lasting much, much longer. Just a warning to those who may find "Crazy Juice" as a fun time. It's all fun and games until your legs don't stop twitching. Lastly, to go with this, is the answer to the question that many have asked me: Have you ever been bitten by one? It goes in line with the study of stinging insects and animals that cause strange effects to the body. Many just have to ask if you ever felt its effects, which is one many natural historians have indeed answered with "yes." I don't know how I could truly describe it, but there is some morbid curiosity that comes with studying such creatures. When dealing with stinging wasps or venomous ants, you just have to wonder "how does it feel?" Of course I am not talking about creatures that could kill you with a sting, I am speaking of those who simply cause pain or strange (and non-permanent) effects. I already know some are wondering "why on earth would you be curious about that?!" but many have indulged in this very curiosity. Some natural historians I know have even begun constructing a pain index based on all the different stinging insects they have encountered! They actually try measuring it! So you see? It is not that weird! So when you ask, have I been bitten, I will actually have to say.....yes. I assure you that I was in no danger at the time, I was actually at the house of a colleague at the time. They focused their research on jungle based species and the rich diversity that grew within those green worlds. I had been staying at his place at the time, having recently arrived in the area to do my own studying. While we were chatting, the subject of the Insanipede came up and he had asked me if I had ever been bitten. I had told him "no," and he asked if I wanted to, which threw me for quite the loop! I, at first, was confused at the proposition, but he assured me that there was no danger. Insanipede bites only last for a few minutes, and do not cause damage if in a safe environment and spaced out properly. He had been bitten some time before, and talked about how strange the experience was. It surely was uncomfortable, but he claimed that it satisfied a bizarre curiosity he didn't realize he even had. I still jokingly curse him about this, but his talking began to infect me with that same curiosity! Surely I wouldn't want something like that to happen to me, but what would it feel like? I couldn't help but wonder at its effects, and before I knew it, I accepted his offer. Who knows what was I was thinking at the time, but I just had to see for myself. We went into his study, where he had an Insanipede somewhere in his large collection of jungle insects. Finding a safe place for this experiment to occur, he carefully removed the specimen and placed it on my arm. With some goading, the Insanipede bit me, and was quickly removed by my friend. He sealed it back in its tank and watched over me as the effects kicked in. At first, nothing happened. As the second ticked by, I assumed that my plant biology was immune to its effects. That had to be the case. That was, until, my arm started to twitch, and I started to feel an itchy sensation spread throughout my body. My arm began to shake, and pin pricks seemed jab into all parts of my body. My colleague caught me as my legs gave out, and he carefully laid me on the floor. Then the spasms kicked in, my whole body heaving and shuddering as every fiber of my being flipped out. Suddenly a giggle escaped my throat. I knew that the venom did this, so I tried my best to suppress the coming laughter. My efforts did absolutely nothing. Before I even realized it, I was laughing my cap off and had zero control over it. I was just shaking on the floor, cackling like a madwoman, and I was powerless to stop it. Even as my chest started to burn and I started gasping for air, I just kept laughing and laughing. It was kind of creepy, that feeling. I always imagined that this was what it would feel like if I was possessed. No control, no power, but yet, your body keeps moving and your voice keeps speaking. I felt trapped in my own bark, unable to regain control of this runaway cart. Then, it began to fade, thankfully. When I regained control, my limbs were sore and I was having a hard time catching my breath. There was no real, horrible pain, just the uncomfortable sensation that clung to me. I had to deal with an occasional twitch for the next few days, and I think I spooked some locals when I suddenly started giggling in the middle of the market. In the end, though, it was not an experience I regretted. Like he said, it fulfilled a curiosity I didn't know I had. So when someone asks what it feels like, I can describe it quite well! If someone asks if I would choose to be bitten again, I would quite confidently say NO! I am curious, not stupid. Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian